Encouragement Archives | Page 5 of 5 | Being Confident Of This

Like a Mustard Seed

August 16, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 12 Comments

It’s one of those paradoxes of Christianity, like “the first shall be last” and “you must first die to live.” He chooses the small, the weak, the completely inadequate as vessels, rather the big, strong, and impressive.

It’s one of those things that I struggle with often, in spite of my work-in-progress mindset. How can I possibly do these big things He’s asking of me? Who am I, Lord, who am I to take on these giants of life?

I’m so small.

I’m so flawed.

I’m not right for the job.

There are so many better equipped, stronger in faith, more Christ-like. Would they not be better for the job?

Like Moses, I doubt. Like Jonah, I wish to run. Like David, I plead for wisdom and I wait. But like Mary, I also say, “let it be done to me according to your word.”

And like Isaiah, in my bravest moments I whisper, “Here am I. Send me.”

I may be small, but my God is not. I may be flawed, but Christ was not. I may not be perfect for the job, but I am a willing vessel.

Because when I am weak, then I am strong.

Only because of Christ.

With the faith as small as a mustard seed…

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday, but I’m a day late thanks to recent events. On Five Minute Fridays, bloggers from all over the globe write on a single word prompt for five minutes. No planning, no editing, just raw and real writing. Then we all share at www.lisajobaker.com .

The Honeymoon is Over

July 31, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 32 Comments

It was bound to happen eventually. I’ve only been blogging for a few months now, so I don’t really have much experience to go on. But I think I can say with some certainty that the blogging honeymoon is over.

Blogging, like so many other things in life, was so fascinating and exciting when it was new to me. Every view was cherished, every comment celebrated. Some days I would check the blog first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. It’s the truth; I think I became just a tiny bit obsessed! Maybe, just maybe, I even made an idol of it, to my shame.

I do that, though. I throw myself into new things with such enthusiasm, such big plans and dreams. And then somewhere along the line, it stops being quite so much fun and starts to feel more like work, like just another burden to carry.

Some of you might be thinking, but it’s just a blog! To a certain extent, you’d be correct. It doesn’t feel like “just” a blog to me, though. It feels like part of me that I’ve put on display for the world to see. And there are these nifty little graphs that measure that part of me day by day by day… And some days they just don’t measure up to what I’d like to see. No matter how high they reach, there seems to be this desire for more. And the inspiration isn’t always there. And busy schedules get in the way.

And sometimes…

I just want to give up.

Let’s be honest. It happens to all of us! When that new baby comes home smelling so sweet, and everyone is exclaiming “how perfect”…when that new job is so exciting that you just can’t wait to go to work, and people tell you how happy they are to have you there…when that new ministry that you’ve been planning for and dreaming of finally comes to fruition…when you make that purchase that you’ve been saving up for and it’s just. so. cool….when that mountaintop experience leads you to a faith high that just can’t be matched.

Inevitably, a valley follows that mountain. That perfect baby that slept so well in the hospital cries all night long, night after night after night. That new job has its own set of challenges. That new ministry has flaws, too. That new purchase grows old or outdated. Thus the mountain gives way to a valley. And those feelings that had us on cloud nine in the mountains leave us, and we wish for more.

But our spiritual lives are not lived just on the mountain tops. In fact, those mountain tops most likely add up to a very small part of our faith journey. The truth is that the valleys often naturally follow the mountains , not because anything has changed but because our physiology is built that way. Our bodies cannot sustain a constant state of “high,” so we must experience a “low” to bring us back to equilibrium. And perhaps even more because we were not meant for this imperfect world, so we yearn for something better.

While I know that my faith isn’t built on feelings, as a woman emotions do come into play! How often I’ve wished those pesky emotions away even though I know they serve a purpose. 🙂

So what’s a girl to do when she just gets a case of the blahs and the blogging honeymoon seems to be over? She recognizes the valley for what it is – temporary. She remembers that she is not a citizen of this world. She blogs anyways because that’s what God led her to do, just like she mothers anyways, she loves anyways, she trusts anyways, she clings to His promises anyways, she speaks truth anyways, she leads anyways, and she hopes anyways.

She keeps seeking. Sometimes she even stumbles and falls, and she’s so ashamed of her weakness. But He’s right there to help her back up again. Along the way, she learns a little more of the unfathomable depth of God’s grace. She grows a little more confident in an overwhelming, unconditional love. She grows a little more confident in His timely provision. She grows a little more confident in the work He’s doing within her.

Because He promised that one day, one glorious day, that work would be complete.

And the valleys will be gone.

And the mountain top lasts for all eternity.

And we see His face.

So we wait, like so many others before us.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us,

let us also lay aside every encumbrance

and the sin which so easily entangles us,

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith,

who for the joy set before Him endured the cross,

despising the shame,

and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility

by sinners against Himself,

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

And we don’t lose heart.

Jen 🙂

12 Tips for Surviving Twins

July 24, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 20 Comments

If you haven’t visited this blog before, you might not know that we have a set of twins (boy/girl) who are now four years old. I never imagined myself having twins, and in fact, I had mixed feelings at first (read the story here).

However, our twins have brought a doubled joy to our lives that I could never expected. There is something so precious about watching them sleep side by side or hold hands as they walk down the sidewalk. Observing their unique bond has been a true privilege.

I hope they will always be best friends of sorts even though they are different genders!

Along the way, I’ve learned some methods for dealing with the not-so-cute moments of what can easily become twin madness, and I’d like to share them with you today. These methods would also work with children who are close in age to one another! 🙂

12 Twin Tips for Survival

1. Divide and conquer. Whatever task you face, it can be much easier to handle one at a time. For example, I read many success stories from mamas who simultaneously potty-trained their twins. It seems that for these blessed mothers, what one twin did, the other followed.

However, for us it wasn’t quite as simple. Our son was just not ready, but our daughter was! She insisted on using the potty even though I wasn’t trying to train her. So, I decided one at a time might actually be easier, and it worked! Not everything must be done in pairs. 🙂

OR….

2. Kill two birds with one stone. Some twin tasks are just easier to do together, such as diaper changing (one right after the other, of course), nursing (huge time saver if you can get the hang of it), going to the doctor, bathing, and feeding snacks or meals.

When you already have all of the “stuff” out, you might as well get it over with for the other twin, too! I even learned such talents as double burping, which only lasted a month or two.

Part of finding my groove with our twins was learning which technique worked best for which tasks – either #1 or #2.

Sometimes it even makes a difference which twin you do first! After a while, I learned to always put my twin son’s shoes on last because he would try to take them off if we didn’t leave the house immediately. My daughter didn’t seem to mind the shoes, so I could count on her to leave hers on while I wrestled with her brother. 🙂

3. Set up stations! When the twins were infants, this was a lifesaver when it came time to prepare a meal, or work with an older child, etc. I had a rotation of baby devices for them and when they grew weary of one (after about 10 minutes), I would quickly rotate them to the next thing in line.

Instead of having two of everything, we found we only needed one of most things and thankfully, many of these devices were given to us. So, at one point in time we had out an exersaucer, a jumperoo, a bouncy seat, a playmat, and a walker (before the walker days, we had a swing).

4. Identify the tough times. We definitely had specific times of the day that were much more difficult than others. Meal times, bedtimes, and late afternoon seemed to be the worst for us. Once we identified those tough times, we were able to problem solve to cut down the stress. If all else fails, then….

5. Enlist helpers! By far the best thing we ever did was to accept the gracious offers of friends and family to lend a helping hand. Many ladies from church took turns helping me with afternoon feedings (my husband worked second shift at the time) even when the twins were quite small. I would either pump ahead of time or I would take that opportunity to nurse one infant at a time and the company could burp or entertain the other twin.

We also are blessed to have a very helpful oldest son. He often rocked a fussy baby while I cooked supper or helped our middle child with a problem! Additionally, for a few

For a few months I also enlisted the help of one of our teenage nieces. I was able to pay her very little, but she loved coming over to help with the kids. It was totally worth the expense.

Twin mamas, do not be afraid to ask for help, especially in the early months – it will save your sanity!

6. Schedule, schedule, schedule. I wasn’t a very schedule-oriented mom when it came to nursing or even napping our first two children. Our firstborn sort of fell into a schedule all on his own, and our middle child fought any sort of schedule from day one!

However, by nature I’m a planner, so I like at least a loose form of organization. And after struggling with our strong-willed middle child, I was determined to start off right.

With two babies at once, I knew that I was going to need to be a little more of a tough mommy in order for us to survive. 🙂

Since our twins were born prematurely, they spent time in the NICU and came home already on a strict feeding schedule. So, we were already off to a good start. However, our infant son was not always happy to keep to the same schedule as his sister.

It was hard work to find a happy medium, but I knew I wouldn’t handle feeding and napping at different times very well. Persistence paid off, and the majority of the time, they ate together and napped together.

Find a sort of schedule that works for you!

The best pattern to follow for those first 6 months or so is: eat – wake time- then sleep, which is the complete opposite of what many babies naturally do. However, this pattern sets your infants up not only for feeding success, but for sleeping success as well!

You may be tempted to let sleeping babies go undisturbed, but it will be worth working to keep them awake when they reward you by sleeping for longer periods of time. Trust me. 🙂

7. Invest in the gear that makes your life easier. Being a parent is hard work. Being a twin parent is sometimes doubly hard work! Some baby gear makes that work a lot less difficult and is worth every penny.

For example, my husband and I debated about whether or not to purchase a double snap-n-go stroller. It’s basically a metal frame stroller that the infant carrier car seats can snap right into. Thanks to some generous gifts, we had the necessary funds and decided to go ahead and purchase it.

Next to my twin nursing pillow, it was the best purchase we ever made for the twins!

It made outings much easier, especially those I had to navigate alone – going to church, going to the store, going to the library, going to the doctor. I was no longer confined to the house, which made me and our two older children very happy!

Later we switched to a Schwinn double jogging stroller, courtesy of my father-in-law’s fabulous auction skills, and the last stroller we owned was a double sit-n-stand, which I highly recommend for the toddler to preschool years. When one is tired of sitting in the front seat, you can switch them out to standing, kneeling, or even sitting in reverse in the back seat.

8. Keep your older children occupied. Sitting down to nurse or feed two infants isn’t an easy task, especially if you also have an active three-year-old on the loose. Sometimes our middle child would escape into another room and I would just pray that he wasn’t destroying anything of value! 🙂

I wish I had known back then about busy bags! If you don’t know what they are, you need to find out. Just look up busy bags on Pinterest or Google and find a variety of ideas for quiet play. I have quite a few pinned on my Learning games and activities board. Books worked well for us, as well as singing. Sometimes I would even ask him to perform tricks for me while I was sitting. And when all else failed I turned to Netflix or PBS Kids. Did I mention that

Did I mention that having twins also taught me to lower my standards a little?

9. Remind your older children that they are special, too! Sometimes older siblings have jealousy issues, and then sometimes they have twin fame issues. 😉 Twins not only require a lot of extra attention from mom and dad, they also attract a lot of attention when you are out and about. People love to look at them and ask questions about them, which might leave your older children feeling a little ignored or neglected.

Going on one-on-one dates really helped our older children when they were exhibiting signs of attention-deprivation. Also, relatives stepped in often and took one or both of them for special activities or sleep-overs. Sometimes it’s as simple as mentioning something special about your older children when people are ooo-ing and aaahhh-ing over the twins.

10. Remember that it does get easier! Those early months are oh-so-tough. I well remember the sleepless nights, the double diaper blow-outs, the duets of screaming banshees, the illness multiplied by two in winter months, and sometimes it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. But there is!

Those twins will grow up and while you’ll always have two at the same stage, rather than one, as they grow older it feels a lot less like double duty and a lot more like having two children very close in age.

Believe it or not, our twins are so different in looks and personality that sometimes I momentarily forget about their special bond!

Focus on one day at a time, until you can focus on one week at a time, and eventually one month, and before you know it, you’ll be thriving instead of just surviving!

11. Count your blessings. On those really rough days, the ones when you barely limp across the finish line that we mamas like to call bedtime, try to let go of the challenges and remember the blessings of having twins.

There are many difficulties in raising twins, but there are equal, if not more, unique blessings wrapped into those challenges. So when the days are dark, count those blessings. Remind yourself of the things that you enjoy about your double gift, how one baby catches the other’s eye and both faces light up, how they “talk” back and forth to one another, even answering one another’s cries. Remember those good things; cling to them!

12. Pray. It sounds simple and everyday, but it’s not. Prayer is powerful! Some days I woke up after a sleepless night asking the Lord for supernatural strength because I just didn’t have it in me. He literally carried me, not just mentally but physically, through many of those early weeks or even months. I know others were praying for me, too – the power was almost palpable at times.

Don’t underestimate the Power of the Spirit; pray for the things you need to raise those twins – for finances, for strength, for wisdom. I even consulted the Lord on such mundane things as “Should I pick up this crying baby or would it be better to let him cry it out?”

While I didn’t get a direct answer to that question, I was overwhelmed by the peace of His presence. And suddenly, I realized that maybe it didn’t even matter as much as I thought it did.

Maybe there is no perfect way to parent, no perfect way to potty train or sleep train or breastfeed or, or, or… That peace set me free. 🙂

Proverbs 3

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

If you have young twins or are about to have twins (or even children very close in age), I hope you find this post helpful. And if you are already a twin mama and you have some advice to share, please feel free to share in the comments! I love finding out what works for other moms and seeing if it will also work for me.

Enjoy it while it lasts!

Jen 🙂

*This post makes use of affiliate links. Jen is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Thank you for helping to support this blog!

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Grace-colored Glasses

July 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 54 Comments

Have you ever felt like an epic failure? Have you felt stuck in old patterns that you just can’t seem to overcome? That’s how I often feel when it comes to my marriage. But this story is the moment when I learned to put on Grace-colored glasses and see myself through them.

………………………………

Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again. He just won’t leave me alone.

He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord. Some days I can ignore him and others I can’t escape. And I know it’s Perfectionism and not the Holy Spirit because of his voice. He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different…

The location of this post has moved! To read the rest, click here.

Bags of Hope

July 3, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 15 Comments

Today we saw the fruits of months of labor for a new ministry at our church, a ministry called Bags of Hope. These bags will be given out to parents of infants in the NICU at a nearby hospital. The bags contain handmade blankets, bottled water, snacks, quarters, a journal, a new testament, and other encouraging materials. They are meant to bring Hope and comfort to families who truly need it.

This ministry began in the heart of my friend, Kasandra Begley. Kassy (as we call her) gave birth prematurely to a son, Logan, who spent 17 days in the NICU before he passed into the care of our Father God. But that wasn’t the end of the story for Kassy. She could have easily given up there that day, given in to the desire to die within, given in to the numbness that consumes those who are grieving monumental loss.

And perhaps she did, for a time, give up. Goodness knows she still grieves and probably always will, who wouldn’t? But she kept choosing to live, even if sometimes only barely, and she kept seeking something to fill that gap left behind by an infant son.

I met Kassy nearly a year ago when she began to attend our church with her boyfriend. She was very quiet at first, yet friendly. After a time, I asked her if she would like to do a bible study with me, and to my surprise, she agreed! 🙂 We spent quite a few months going through The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus, a chronological approach to the gospel.

I sensed that Kassy yearned for a relationship with our Heavenly Father, but something was standing in the way. At times, I felt she was but a moment away from trusting in Him, only to experience a quick withdrawal. I knew what was bothering her. How could a loving God allow her to become pregnant, live through difficult circumstances, carry a baby, birth a baby, and watch him suffer for seventeen endless days before losing him? How could He?

What does one say to a question like that? I don’t know. I don’t always understand the ways of the Father, but I believe He wants to bring good out of even the most despicable situations. So, that’s what I told her.

We continued to work through our study, right up to the suffering of Jesus, God’s one and only Son, as He willing surrendered His life for our sin.

It was then that Kassy loudly proclaimed, “Me and God have something in common!” I was a little startled and not sure what she meant by the statement. I prodded, “What do you mean?” She excitedly explained that God was showing her that He had lost a Son, too, watched Him suffer physically, be beaten, scorned, and hung on a cross to die a slow and agonizing death. God allowed His Son to die, not only for His Son’s glorification, but also for the good of all mankind.

And suddenly I realized where she was going with it. God knew her pain, felt her loss, understood her life-draining sorrow. He, too, lost a beloved child. The hair on my arm stood on end as I literally felt this truth she was experiencing right before me. It was a moment so powerful and beautiful that every fiber of my being stood at attention. I couldn’t move; I couldn’t speak. The only thing I could do was furiously bat my lashes in an attempt to stem the floodgates. She said, “Oh, man, I just got the chills!” Me, too, Kassy, me, too.

That was the aha! moment for Kassy, the moment she realized God is accessible. He’s not just some faraway deity who metes out punishment when necessary while apathetically ignoring our most desperate pleas. He knows pain is real, wounds are real. He doesn’t turn away from the raw and often ugly emotion that oozes forth from us in our most wretched moments.

No, instead He comforts us with a comfort only He can give, overwhelms us with His very presence, and lavishes love upon us even as we cry out, Why? Why, Father, why?

I imagine Mary Magdalene felt a similar despair when she found her Savior’s tomb empty. The words of the angels were of no comfort to her. The Promised Messiah was dead; what hope was left? She couldn’t even have the satisfaction of caring for his body. In her despair, she turned away. In her despair, she failed to see Jesus before her. In her despair, she questioned.

John 20

11 Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12 and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

15 He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

And then He said her name.

16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

18 Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

When Mary saw it was her Messiah calling her, the questions faded away. All that mattered was Him, standing there before her, Hope in the flesh. She left quickly to spread this comfort that she’d been given.

What it really comes down to is this: do you believe that He loves you? I don’t just mean that you say you believe it, or that you want to believe it, but do you truly believe – heart, soul, mind, and strength? Because if you do, if I do, then we can let go of the whys and embrace the gift, the gift of total, unconditional love and acceptance for those who believe in and call on the name of Jesus. When we look at Him, the author and perfecter of our faith, when we truly see Him, Lord of Lords, Blessed Redeemer, those doubts, those questions, those fears, walls, wounds, and chains…..they all fade away into the background.

So, after my friend Kassy accepted this gift, she began to grow and change. I started to see the real Kassy, the one who isn’t shy or quiet at all, the one who likes to laugh and often threatens others with bodily harm (but she doesn’t really mean it, ….well, most of the time). 😉 One day she approached my husband and I about this idea to crochet baby blankets for infants in the NICU. She wanted to honor the memory of her son by doing something she enjoys, something that brings her peace. She also knew that our twins spent some time in the NICU four years ago when they were born prematurely, so we understood the difficulty and fear many parents experience. She thought the church might want to be involved as well.

After discussing what NICU parents might need during an extended stay, we developed a list of items to give along with the blankets. Eventually we settled on a name – Bags of Hope! And just like that a new ministry was born from the pain of her situation, beauty from ashes, joy from sorrow.

Isn’t He amazing? Isn’t His comfort amazing? It is a comfort that we just can’t contain; we are compelled to share the comfort we have received with others. We are compelled to tell them:

There.

is.

Hope.

There is Healing. There is Joy. There is the Promise of a better tomorrow and a perfect everlasting.

What comfort have you received, my friends? Are you still searching for it? It’s there for the grasping – look to Jesus. He’s waiting for you, calling for you. If you already have comfort, are you passing it along? Our stories, our testimonies are powerful tools in the Father’s hands.

Praise be to God, for His name is Comforter.

Jen 🙂

Would you bless Kassy and Bags of Hope by liking the facebook page and helping us spread the word? Click the graphic below.

Power to Produce

June 5, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

If you are anything like me, then cleaning out the fridge is low on the totem pole. You might occasionally reach in for some sustenance and pull out rotten food instead. Instead of giving life and energy, the food is wasted, worthless, and sometimes even downright disgusting.

Our spiritual fruits can be that way, too! Have you ever tested your fruit? Held it up to the Lamp, the faithful Word of the Lord?

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

joy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,self-control;

against such things there is no law.

In my bible, beside this passage I have written two small words: the test. Do you want to know how closely you are walking with the Lord? Examine your fruit of the Spirit! Do they pass the test? Are you overflowing with patience, joy, peace, kindness, love, goodness and so on?

All too often I find myself trying to produce these fruit all on my own. I wake up in the morning thinking, I’m going to be patient with my children today. I’m going to be kind and loving to my husband. And later in the day, when strength runs low, I feel frustrated and out of control. I wonder, “Why am I acting this way? What is the matter with me today?” as if some sort of spell has come over me, and I’ve been rendered incapable of obedience.

Finish reading this post by following the link to its new location here.

The Power of Music

May 20, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 2 Comments

I love music. I love to sing it, I love to play it (when I have time), and I love to listen to it. I love all sorts of music, too. In our house you might hear contemporary christian, classical, broadway, oldies, big band, some jazz, a little country, a little rap. and even some of what my husband refers to as “love music” (think ballads!). By far my favorite music is the kind that speaks truth directly to my soul! You know what I’m talking about – those songs that are almost devastating in their truth and beauty.

Even my young, four-year-old daughter knows the power of music. I can no longer sing, “Rock-a-bye baby” to her because the melody makes her sad. On the other hand, my seven-year-old son likes enthusiastic jams from artists like TobyMac, not surprising since he’s our energetic one. When the kids are fighting with each other and just can’t seem to get along, a dance party to some great music goes a long way toward re-establishing their sibling camaraderie. When nothing seems to be going right, I find solace in music.

Music is powerful.

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ~Victor Hugo

Music is an outburst of the soul ~ Frederick DeLuis

Psalms 95:1 – O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.

James 5:13 – Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.

In the scriptures we read about times of rejoicing, accompanied by music, and times of sorrow, accompanied by music. When David killed the Philistine giant, God’s people rejoiced through music. When King Saul struggled with sorrow and other emotions, David’s instrument soothed him. When Paul and Silas sat imprisoned, they sang songs of thankfulness and praise to the Lord. Music is for happy times, sad times, and all of those times in between. Praise the Lord for the incredible gift of music!

So today when my head and heart are full of so many different thoughts and emotions that I don’t even know where to begin, why not begin and end with a song?

Jen 🙂

When do you turn to music?

Faithful Friend or Critical Chrisitan ~ A Word on Chronic Suffering

May 14, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 18 Comments

I have a soft spot for those who struggle with chronic health issues, those who experience chronic suffering.

Just recently, I had yet another bout with sinusitis and was reminded once again how much I dislike being ill. I have a medical history complicated by allergies and asthma along with an immune system that just doesn’t work well and never has.

Truthfully, the ONLY positive medical rarity I’ve experienced in life thus far is giving birth to twins! 🙂

While my medical issues pale in comparison to so many others, I struggle often enough to understand some of what it feels like to battle chronic medical conditions.

I understand that chronic sufferers often feel lonely because illness keeps them at home in isolation.

I understand the judgment sometimes felt from uncaring medical professionals, unsympathetic friends, and even gossipers who relate physical health to spiritual health.

I understand the weariness of facing yet another day of pain with no end in sight.

I understand total helplessness.

Over the years, I’ve heard people say some pretty harsh things about our sisters in Christ with chronic conditions, and I’m very ashamed to admit I’ve even had these same thoughts on occasion:

They’re just depressed. They need to get help.

They obviously can’t handle pain well, so they exaggerate their symptoms.

All they do is complain!

They are not living a healthy lifestyle. If they would just eat right, exercise, etc. then they would feel better.

They are not disciplined enough. They should just do what’s right in spite of how they feel.

They’re not trusting God enough.

While all of these statements have the potential to be at least partially true in many cases, they come across as self-righteous.

Is that a little harsh?

Perhaps.

However, such self-righteous thoughts or even voiced opinions do nothing to uplift or encourage that sister in Christ who is so lonely, so overwhelmed, so discouraged, so needy.

Consider these excerpts from Job, who suffered for the glory of the Lord.

Job 12
4 “I have become a laughingstock to my friends,
though I called on God and he answered—
a mere laughingstock, though righteous and blameless!
5 Those who are at ease have contempt for misfortune
as the fate of those whose feet are slipping…

16 Then Job replied:
2 “I have heard many things like these;
you are miserable comforters, all of you!
3 Will your long-winded speeches never end?
What ails you that you keep on arguing?
4 I also could speak like you,
if you were in my place;
I could make fine speeches against you
and shake my head at you.
5 But my mouth would encourage you;
comfort from my lips would bring you relief…

19 Then Job replied:
2 “How long will you torment me
and crush me with words?
3 Ten times now you have reproached me;
shamelessly you attack me.
4 If it is true that I have gone astray,
my error remains my concern alone…

Job was “blameless and upright”; he had done nothing to deserve his suffering, and he continued to turn to the Lord throughout. Yet, how did his religious friends respond? They criticized him. They questioned his faith.

When he needed them most, Job’s friends failed him. How sad that they missed the opportunity to demonstrate brotherly love to Job!

As sisters in Christ, we are called to minister to those in need! Even if those suffering are not as blameless as Job, we are responsible to love them through the difficult times.

I know from experience that suffering from a medical condition can make a person pretty needy, and sometimes we grow weary of giving to someone who cannot give back. Trust me; I’ve been on that side of the coin, too.

As Job said, “Those who are at ease have contempt for misfortune…”

How quickly we forget the depth of the dark when we are bathing in the light.

I’m guilty of it myself.

So, how can we avoid being unsympathetic know-it-alls like Job’s friends?

1. Check your attitude. Don’t condemn or condescend; show compassion instead. You cannot possibly know how difficult your sister’s life is unless you’ve been there yourself. Try to remember a time in your life when you suffered great physical pain or discomfort. Now imagine dealing with that on a daily basis with no end in sight! “Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another….” Eph. 4:32

2. Remember that dealing with medical issues can be scary and lonely, especially when an issue lacks a confirmed diagnosis. Doctors are not always correct and sometimes they lack the medical knowledge or the compassion to find answers patients need. Just because a person does not yet have a diagnosis does not mean “it’s all in the head.” Remind them that you will remain a faithful friend.

3. Before you offer advice to your suffering sister, consider your relationship with her. Are you close enough to her to have all of the facts, or have you made assumptions based on partial information? Have you first spent time in earnest prayer for her? Do you have a strong enough relationship that she will be able to hear you in love without being wounded by your words?

4. Be the Body of Christ! Offer an encouraging word, send a card or note to let her know you are thinking of and praying for her! Additionally, offer some practical help – making a meal, providing child care, cleaning the house, running an errand, even giving financially to help with medical bills in the case of severe illness. Don’t say, “If you need help, let me know.” Instead say, “I want to help by _________. When is a good day or time?” A specific offer of help is much more difficult to turn down. 🙂

On the other hand, if you, my sister in Christ, struggle with chronic medical issues, remember that you are not alone and that God IS in control, even when it doesn’t feel like it. The Word can be a tremendous source of encouragement during such trials

Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We don’t always understand His ways, His reasons, for allowing trials in our lives, but we can trust in His compassion for us.

Hebrews 4:15-16

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Jesus suffered. He suffered physically, emotionally, even mentally in his life as a human on earth. He was betrayed by friends and rejected (albeit briefly) by His own father. He suffered horribly and then He died. If anyone can understand your pain, He can!

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.

Over the years, I have learned that God often uses illness to get my attention, to bring me back to that place where I am totally reliant on Him because my physical body has failed me.

I don’t always know or understand why God allows such frequent illness, but I am secure in the fact that He only allows things into my life that He can work for good (Rom. 8:28). I hope you find that same comfort!

So as we go about our week, let’s remember those in our circles who are hurting. I challenge you to put a little time and effort into encouraging a suffering sister in Christ this week!

Who’s with me?

Jen 🙂

If you know someone who is struggling spiritually rather than physically, here’s an excellent article on that issue:

http://lori-benotweary.blogspot.com/2013/06/when-someone-you-love-is-struggling.html

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

My Monday Morning Confession

April 29, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 26 Comments

Yesterday was Sunday. Yesterday I was so excited about actually starting this blog (and not just talking about it), about the potential to reach others, like myself, and encourage them, spur them on.

Yesterday, I was swept up in awe of God and the paths He leads us down, often paths we might not have chosen for ourselves. I was typing out oh-so-many ideas at once. I was working and re-working potential posts and the format of the blog itself.

I was confident.

I was on FIRE!

But today is Monday. Today brings with it

Today brings with it uncertainty and doubt, perhaps mixed with a little fear that I’ve gotten myself in waaaaaaay over my head.

Today, after having looked around at fellow faith bloggers, I’m feeling insignificant, untalented, and overwhelmed. Maybe even a little foolish. Today I’m tempted to listen to that voice that says, “What were you thinking??”

Isn’t that how it starts, though?

For one second we take our eyes off of the Father, and suddenly we’re bombarded by these devastating untruths.

Insignificant – it’s an untruth straight from the depths of self and Satan. Self tells me I need to create something I can be proud of, something of worth. Self tells me to be careful; don’t let your pride be wounded. Self makes it about me instead of about Christ.

Then Satan, being the opportunist he is, inserts his voice…insignificant. Wouldn’t he love for all of us women of faith to believe that?! It makes his destructive work so much easier to accomplish!

Thank the Lord that we have His word, the Sword of the Spirit, to combat these untruths. Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” He “knit” us together in our mother’s wombs. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He has loved us with “an everlasting love.”

And His Son Jesus, His one and only, perfect Son calls us His brothers and sisters. That doesn’t sound so insignificant to me. These are just a few nuggets from a gold mine of Scriptures detailing the Father’s love for us.

Even more, consider Romans 5:8, which says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” If nothing more, surely that nugget alone makes us significant! For a Father to sacrifice His only Son in my place while I remained a helpless and unworthy sinner, means that He places extraordinarily great value on me.

And on you, friend.

What a comfort for a Monday morning!

So, if you’re like me today, and the reality of a Monday morning world has dampened your Sunday fire, remember who you are.

You are the redeemed,

the beloved,

the chosen,

the loved-beyond-measure child of the Most High.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can confidently conquer that Monday world!

Epheisans 6:10 – 17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Arm yourselves, friends,

Jen : )

Sharing with: Grace and Truth