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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

Grace-colored Glasses

July 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 54 Comments

 

Have you ever felt like an epic failure?  Have you felt stuck in old patterns that you just can’t seem to overcome?  That’s how I often feel when it comes to my marriage.  But this story is the moment when I learned to put on Grace-colored glasses and see myself through them.

………………………………

Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again.  He just won’t leave me alone.

He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord.  Some days I can ignore him and others I can’t escape. And I know it’s Perfectionism and not the Holy Spirit because of his voice.  He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different…

The location of this post has moved!  To read the rest, click here.

Filed Under: Christianity, Marriage, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: Arguments, Christ, Christ-centered living, Christian living, Confidence, Devotional Thought, Encouragement, Identity in Christ, Imperfect Marriage, Marriage, Perfectionism, Redemption, Satan

Comments

  1. renlvsclay says

    July 18, 2013 at 00:48

    This post is just perfect. I loved it!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 18, 2013 at 10:17

      Thank you, Ren. I appreciate that.
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  2. Nannette and The Sweetheart says

    July 18, 2013 at 01:55

    I never asked you to be perfect, just willing…love that Jen!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 18, 2013 at 10:18

      Thank you, Nannette. I’m glad those words are speaking to others, as well.
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  3. Angie Knutson (@MyFourMonkeys) says

    July 18, 2013 at 22:14

    Wow! <3 A much needed reminder… as always. 🙂

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 18, 2013 at 22:40

      Haha – I saw your post, too! We’re just on the same thread lately! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Renee says

    July 19, 2013 at 08:44

    Love that! Perfectionism, one part self, one part Satan. Oh, so true. never goes anywhere good. Thanks.

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 19, 2013 at 11:59

      Yes, it never does go anywhere good. : ) Thanks for visiting!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  5. Pouring Down Like Rain says

    July 19, 2013 at 10:09

    Jen, Love your post today. Don’t we all chase the unattainable “perfect” that we have in our mind. God Bless your husband for his words. Linking with Womanhood with Purpose today. Kim

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 19, 2013 at 12:00

      Chase is a good word to use because for all our chasing, we’ll never catch it! Thanks for visiting!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  6. Aprille says

    July 20, 2013 at 10:54

    Phenomenal post and a beautiful story. I shared it on all of my social media sites!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 20, 2013 at 12:53

      Thanks, Aprille. I’m going to link yours to the bottom of another post I wrote called the Superwoman Myth because it fits so perfectly!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
      • Aprille says

        July 20, 2013 at 20:06

        Awesome!!

        Reply
  7. Krystle says

    July 21, 2013 at 16:10

    2 Corinthians 12:9 comes to mind-“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” This was such an encouraging post as I am a type-A perfectionist and have to daily surrender to God-sometimes multiple times during the day.

    Pinned it! Thanks for sharing this with us at One Sharendipity Place this weekend!!

    Krys @thet2women.com and http://www.worshipingwhilewaiting.blogspot.com

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 21, 2013 at 20:46

      Yes, Krystle, that verse is often brought to mind when I’m facing down perfectionism. I’m so glad you found encouragement here today. Thanks for pinning! 🙂
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  8. Summer Nicole says

    July 23, 2013 at 23:47

    Thanks so much for your honesty. 🙂 We are all on a journey and sometimes we end up downright muddy in the process. I’m glad you are learning to have a little more grace with yourself, and that you have a husband who is gracious as well. You are certainly not alone in your endeavors to be a better wife, it is a lifelong endeavor and Perfectionism has no place in it! 😉

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 24, 2013 at 16:13

      Yes, perfectionism has no place in it! All it does is paralyze and defeat us. 🙂 Isn’t it funny that we sometimes have to learn to extend grace to ourselves? I’m so thankful for His promise to carry that work until completion. Thanks for stopping by!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  9. Simone says

    July 24, 2013 at 14:44

    Such a beautiful post. Loved and really needed to read this. Thank you!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 24, 2013 at 16:05

      Thank you, Simone. I’m so thankful it spoke to you!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  10. Messy Marriage (@BethSteffaniak) says

    July 24, 2013 at 15:55

    I’ve learned so much through the sharing of my failures in marriage, Jen. It’s as if God uses this tool we call a blog to refine us into the wives and women He wants us to be. And may I say, this was beautiful! I’m so glad you shared it, my friend. We can all relate and those that say they can’t aren’t being honest. Lysa TerKuerst calls this kind of progress “imperfect progress.” I think it’s the best kind really. Don’t ever be ashamed of not doing it perfectly. Leave the perfection up to God. 🙂 Thanks for linking this incredible post up at Wedded Wed. I’m not sure if this is your first time, but I want to welcome you if it is!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 24, 2013 at 16:04

      It is my first time, so thank you for the kind welcome! 🙂 I am definitely learning to see imperfect progress as a valid victory. Thank you for stopping by and encouraging me!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  11. Jenifer says

    July 24, 2013 at 17:30

    Thank you for your transparency in sharing! God honors our patience and offering of grace.

    Thanks for linking up with Woman to Woman!

    Jenifer

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 24, 2013 at 20:26

      Thanks for the encouragement, Jenifer!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  12. richellaparham says

    July 24, 2013 at 22:20

    I just LOVE this post. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. When we submit ourselves and obey God, He really does change our hearts! 🙂

    Reply
  13. Courtney says

    July 29, 2013 at 10:56

    I can definitely relate to this – I just shared a post this morning about my own struggles with perfectionism growing up. I didn’t receive my own pair of grace-colored glasses ’til this past year, and it has been such an awakening for me! I love your analogy! You are a beautiful writer.

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      July 30, 2013 at 22:36

      Courtney, thank you for stopping by and sharing some of your story. It’s good to know I’m not the only one out there still struggling with nasty perfectionism. I’ll stop by and see what you had to say about it, too. I really appreciate your encouragement!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  14. Kelly says

    July 30, 2013 at 23:50

    This was my favorite part: “I saw Perfectionism for what he was – one part self, one part Satan. Self was prideful, Satan was deceitful, and the combination of the two brought me chains of defeat I no longer wish to carry.” So wise and true! Thank you for sharing! Marriage is so much of iron sharpening iron. We all need to be reminded to keep those grace colored glasses ON!

    Reply
  15. Mari-Anna Stålnacke (@flowingfaith) says

    August 21, 2013 at 07:03

    I love your grace-colored glasses. I want a pair myself! Blessings to you and yours!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      August 21, 2013 at 08:22

      I’m rather enjoying these new glasses, too. Although, sometimes I forget to put them on. They only work if you wear them, you know. 😉 Thanks for visiting!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  16. Karmen M says

    August 23, 2013 at 07:18

    Grace colored glasses, I love it. I need me a pair of these too.

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      August 23, 2013 at 11:56

      Karmen, they are free for the taking! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  17. Jen Avellaneda (@Jen_Avellaneda) says

    August 26, 2013 at 11:06

    O.k. so now I am speechless. You are the 3rd one I have read so far on UNITE who wrote about how we seeing or spiritual blindness. God is setting a theme, for sure! Thank you for listening to Him! I love what you said about looking at all through glasses of grace. Oh, how I long to have those eyes! Blessings and thanks for UNITING! ~ Jen

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      August 26, 2013 at 11:25

      Jen, first of all, I love your name. 😉 Second, I love that God is giving you the same message again and again. He’s so good to us like that, giving multiple chances to learn. I know I certainly need those! Thanks for stopping by!
      Another Jen 🙂

      Reply
  18. Kathy Schwanke says

    September 8, 2014 at 23:31

    Love this! Grace colored glasses. And how the Lord moved in your life and built you up. He calls the things that are not as though they are…speaks to the dry bones, “LIVE!!” OH how I love our Redeemer!!!

    Thanks for sharing this tender story!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      September 8, 2014 at 23:50

      Thank you, Kathy. It’s an older post, but one of my favorites!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  19. Leah Colwell Adams says

    September 9, 2014 at 04:56

    Lots of truth here. I, too, am a recovering perfectionist! Still learning and recovering, but better than I was 20 years ago. I may have it mastered if Jesus leaves me here until I am 90! LOL!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      September 10, 2014 at 09:37

      Haha, I’m not even sure that would help me. 🙂 It’s one of the things I look forward to most about heaven – perfection, no more sinful nature to constantly contend with. Perfect peace!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  20. Ruthie says

    September 9, 2014 at 08:07

    So honest and wonderful 🙂 I am going to share it with someone I know who is dealing with similar issues 🙂 Thank you for sharing this with such wonderful, powerful, humble and grace-filled words 🙂 May God bless you and your marriage 🙂

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      September 10, 2014 at 09:38

      Thank you very much for your kind words, Ruth! I hope your friend finds it helpful.
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
      • Ruth says

        September 10, 2014 at 10:56

        Yes – they found it very helpful, thank you again for sharing it! 🙂

        Reply
  21. Ruthie says

    September 9, 2014 at 08:08

    Reblogged this on The Mustard Seed and commented:
    Humbling and honest – such a wonderful read.

    Reply
  22. Rebeca Jones says

    September 9, 2014 at 23:33

    “I never asked you to be perfect, just willing.” I love this! Beautiful post, Jen. Blessings to you!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      September 10, 2014 at 09:42

      Thank you, Rebeca. It’s an older post, but I needed the reminder and thought others might, too. Thanks for stopping by and leaving me some encouragement here!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  23. Deb says

    September 11, 2014 at 10:25

    My heart echoes yours. When I hear those lies, ugly, I cling to the truth:
    “Is that a joyous choir I hear? No, it is the Lord Himself, exalting over you in happy song. ” Zephaniah 3:17 TLB
    It is a happy song He sings, no matter what. No. Matter. What.

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      September 26, 2014 at 21:29

      Looooove Zephaniah – so many excellent reminders of His great love for us! Thanks for stopping by here and leaving some encouragement.
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  24. Trickett says

    April 19, 2015 at 23:58

    That was absolutely beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes, and I don’t even know you nor your husband. Good job, sister. Thank you for your encouraging words.

    Reply
    • jstults says

      May 22, 2015 at 01:23

      How you bless me with your words! Seriously, thank you. 🙂
      Jen

      Reply

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Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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