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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

What God Really Wants from You

March 18, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

Have you ever gone out of your way to do something really nice for someone else only to find out it wasn’t really what they wanted? The thought of all that wasted effort is enough to make one heartsick!

As humans, we do this all of the time, though, don’t we?

I could slave away all day in the kitchen creating the most lavish culinary masterpiece for my husband, but at the same time, I could also be ignoring his need for a listening ear. Imagine it with me – busy with the gift I wish to give him and the work I deem most important, I brush off his questions with curt answers and make it clear that I’m too busy at the moment. I offer him my hard labor instead of the attention he so desires.

What if I told you we don’t just treat loved ones this way, but we also often treat God this way – offering up things He hasn’t even asked for, undesired sacrifices, in place of what He really wants from us?

Imagine waking up every morning, trudging out to your backyard, and building a fire to offer a burnt sacrifice on a stone altar.

You head back out again later in the day when you choose self over others, and again after that unkind thought, and again after snapping at a loved one. In and out of the house, offering sacrifices for sins committed throughout the day – it’s an exercise in futility.

Today we would call such behavior crazy, wouldn’t we? Of course we would because we no longer offer burnt sacrifices like the Israelites did in the Old Testament …or do we?

What We Think God Really Wants

In Hebrews, I read these words:

Every priest stands daily ministering and offering time after time the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins; Heb. 10:11

“Daily,” the priests stood at their posts; “time after time” they offered the “same” sacrifices for the same sins. Such repetition calls attention to the never-ending nature of their tasks.

The Bible Knowledge Commentary explains that at the time the letter to the Hebrews was written, the Jewish Christians continued to offer sacrifices at the temple.

For those who believed in Christ and His resurrection, such offerings should have been rendered meaningless by His atonement as the final sacrifice. So, why were they still trudging back and forth to the altar of sacrifice, so to speak?

The early Hebrew Christians continued to offer sacrifices in spite of their belief in Christ.

They knew of the gospel, the good news that abolished the old system and established a new covenant built on the cornerstone of Grace, but they struggled to let go of their old ways.

At first glance, I was tempted to think, how silly of them – they’re doing so much work and it’s all meaningless!

How We Get Pleasing God All Wrong

But lately the Lord has been opening my eyes to an alarming truth: I sometimes offer my own daily sacrifices, often without even realizing it. How often are we guilty of offering modern-day sacrifices instead of what God really wants most?

Just think about it for a moment.

This is what we like to do, friends. We wake up in the morning thinking we’ll do His work today. We’ll be the best mom, wife, aunt, sister, friend, child, Christian we can be.

We even have this list of good things to do in mind.

And we offer these things up to Him as our very own sacrifices, sometimes without even realizing what we’re doing.

Okay, Lord, I’ve accomplished all of those things on the list. Here ya go. Are we good now? I can go about the rest of my day as I please, right?

Or maybe, I’ve tried really hard today. You’re pleased with me now, right?

I pile the sacrifices of good behavior up in a nice neat pile on my “altar,” thinking I’m good to go, except I’m not because while I was busy checking off my good-Christian-girl-things-to-do list, I withheld the very thing He wanted most: myself.

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What God Really Wants from You

Look at what Jesus says about such undesired sacrifices in Hebrews 10:5-7:

Sacrifice and offering You have not desired,
But a body You have prepared for Me;
In whole burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin You have taken no pleasure.
“Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come…
To do Your will, O God.”

Here Jesus reveals that God the Father takes no pleasure in burnt offerings. Instead Jesus offers something else – His very being – so that He might do the will of the Lord.

The same is true of us, co-heirs with Christ. The Father doesn’t desire our sacrifices in the first place. He desires our hearts, our very beings.

What God really wants is so much less about doing than we like to make it, and so much more about being than we like to offer.

Don’t get me wrong, friends. We should be loving others, choosing joy, offering praise, living in the Spirit. But if any of those good things are done out of a sense of obligation, duty, or an attempt to earn His favor, then they are pointless.

Filthy rags.

You might as well build altars in your backyard and start burning animals.

We cannot offer doing on the sacrificial altar at the expense of being.

When we do, we get the horse before the cart, for no good thing can come from us on our own. Good works only come from the overflow of a heart that lingers in His presence! We must constantly choose “being” in Him, abiding moment by moment, day by day.

Doing never leads to being, but being always leads to doing.

It’s all about embracing that personal relationship with our Father God, abiding in Him.

Am I Offering What God Really Wants?

So, ask yourself: what am I offering up to the Lord today?

Is it what God really wants?

This section of scripture in Hebrews concludes with the following words:

And their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more. Now where there is forgiveness of these things, there is no longer any offering for sin. Hebrews 10:17-18

The truth is that we who are in Christ already have the Lord’s favor.

What God really wants most then is really very simple and has little to do with how we mother, how we serve at church, how clean our houses are or how happy we make our husbands.

What He desires is you.

Simply you.

What a sweet relief to realize that our falling down at His feet in surrender is enough!

Father, remind us that it’s meaningless to offer undesired sacrifices. Help us to let go of the doing and embrace instead the being. Remind us that if we abide in You, the doing naturally overflows. Help us to rest in the grip of Grace, for Your Son was and is enough. The debt is paid once and for all. Now we are set free.

Set free to just be.

Amen.

Jen 🙂

*This post is an excerpt from the devotional, Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. Click here for more information. or click the image below to purchase (my affiliate link – to read more about our affiliate partnerships, please visit the About page).

Here’s another great read on what God really wants from Christians from Satisfaction Through Christ.

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Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Christ-centered living, Christian living, Christian Women, Encouragement, pleasing God, Women of Faith

How to Parent Your Angry Child

April 2, 2018 by jstults 2 Comments

Have you ever worried that your angry child might never learn patience? Have you lain awake at night wondering how to help refine those strong-willed tendencies into good character?

A while back, our second-born, strong-willed, ball-of-energy-and-strength-and-passion son was showing me a few of his latest “tricks.” I watched somewhat half-heartedly and made the typical distracted mom comments.

“Wow!”

“That’s crazy!”

“How do you DO that?”

When suddenly he made this horrible grimace.

He effectively described it as “putting pressure” on his face. To me it looked an awful lot like his angry child face.

Curious, I asked him why he would put pressure on his face. He matter-of-factly explained that it helps him get his anger out when he’s frustrated or feeling angry.

Then he showed me another of his typical angry child poses (fisted hands clenched tightly at his sides) and told me that putting pressure on his body helps him get anger out, too.

Once he was done with the demonstration, he sauntered away, like it was no big deal for a seven-year-old to have such knowledge of his own emotions and body.

I sat there stunned.

Not because our son is so intelligent, although he truly is, but because a posture that I tend to “read” as angry disrespect or rebellion was, in fact, the complete opposite.

His tense posture was actually an attempt at self-control! And here I had been scolding him to “have a better attitude” whenever the “pressure” face and those “pressure” hands appeared, whenever I saw evidence of an angry child.

If you have a child with BIG emotions, you probably struggle with some parenting discouragement. What I learned from my angry child changed my perspective and helped me focus on the work in progress!  Work-in-progress Parenting: The Angry Child  #parenting #emotionalchild #strongwilledchild christian parenting|Devotional |Bible study|christian family|helping emotional children|emotions|anger|angrychild|christian mom|strong-willed child

Hope for the Angry Child

It turns out my angry child understood his own emotions (and boy, does he have b-i-g ones) better than I sometimes understand my own.In fact, he was learning self-control methods that work for him, without any help from me!

Our conversation reminded me that even though I have now logged over thirteen years of parenting experience, I don’t know it all. In fact, I never will!

Each child is created uniquely and requires unique parenting, a truth I tend to forget.

What I perceived as defiance or disrespect was actually the most self-controlled, respectful act my son was capable of in his angry moments.

 

I hope I remember to exercise caution when I see the angry child come out. I hope I remember that he’s making a greater effort than I ever realized and applaud him for maintaining a measure of self-control in the face of anger.

He has come so far in the area of emotions and self-control in the last few years, and I’m so quick to forget that in a heated moment!

I’m so quick to forget that my child is a work-in-progress, too, just like his siblings, just like his parents, just like every other sinful human on the face of the earth.

It wasn’t a proud moment for me, rather it was a thank-you-Lord moment. I couldn’t take credit for my angry child’s heart changes; in fact, I was unintentionally discouraging some of the progress he was making.

Only God can take credit.

Because our little boy who is so quickly growing into a young man accepted the free gift of salvation a few years ago. And not long after, he publicly proclaimed his son-ship in Christ before family and friends as he waded into the baptismal waters.

I see the work the Lord is doing in his young heart and mind already.

Even now as he enters his teenage years, I see how his heart has softened toward his younger siblings and how they now look up to him.

Even though our son’s passion and energy often cause trouble for him, I have faith that someday he will use those gifts to be a great leader and a bold truth-teller. He’s a born leader in the process of becoming.

What faithfulness on the Lord’s behalf!

My friends, when you’re parenting progress seems to have stalled, take heart.

Continue to follow the Lord in your parenting, and wait to see what happens. Pray for their little hearts and minds to open to the Father’s touch.

If your emotional, angry child is old enough, ask about his or her actions during a low-stress time rather than in the heat of the moment. You’ll likely gain some surprising insights!

Look for progress in the little things, the still, small moments.Perhaps the problem with your child is really a problem with YOUR thinking! #parenting #workinprogress #beingconfidentofthis purposeful parenting|intentional parenting|christian parenting|stubborn child|angry child|emotional child|strong-willed child|parenting help|how to be a better parent| godly parenting

 

Remember who your child has been created to be. He’s created to be different than your other children and different even than you.

Take every opportunity to rejoice over the slightest step forward.

Because God knows what He’s doing.

He created these children, these gifts, purposefully just as he created you and me purposefully.

Only He can see where that purpose might lead them.

Jen 🙂

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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: angry child, Christ-centered living, Christian Parenting, emotional child, Encouragement, purposeful parenting, Strong-willed Child

How to Seek Peace in the Holiday Hustle

December 19, 2017 by jstults Leave a Comment

I stared at the half-dangling greenery, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

Laundry waited to be washed, presents waited to be purchased and wrapped.

My work schedule was full and our family calendar even more full.

I wanted this Christmas to be different than last year’s holiday. I wanted to really savor the season, but I felt like I was failing.

Where was the peace I longed for?

How was I missing it? Where was I going wrong?

Because the overwhelming emotion ruling my heart lately was an awful lot of stress.

Like the world before Christ’s birth, I felt the reality of “sin and error, pining.”

Between book writing, and client work, and church-planting, and home life, it often seems like there just aren’t enough hours in a day.

But I need some peace.

I need to savor this season because I’ve had oh-so-many reminders this year, friends, that our time here on earth is short, our days and hours and minutes never guaranteed.

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And as our oldest son prepares to head out into the world, I feel that reality all the more keenly.

So, how do we make the most of Christmas without becoming burdened and overwhelmed?

How do we truly seek peace without creating additional stress by adding another thing to the to-do list ?

4 Meaningful Ways to Find Peace in the Holiday Hustle

1. We put first things first for peace in the holiday hustle.

When I feel overwhelmed, I can often pinpoint one of the root causes as a lack of consistent quiet time. Whenever my calendar gets too full, my time with Jesus often becomes less and less. This is a reality we must guard against, friends.

We may even be tempted to justify spending less time in His presence because we’re spending time doing advent activities with our family, attending extra church services, and so forth.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. John 15:4

Truthfully, nothing can take the place of that one-on-one time with Emmanuel, the God who came to be with us.

We’re literally starving our souls when we neglect this most important relationship, and we will reap the fruit of that neglect in our lives. Stress, lack of motivation, discontent, worry, impatience – all can be indicators of a spiritual problem.

A return to right priorities goes a long way toward helping us regain peace in the holiday hustle!

2. We content ourselves with “good enough” for peace in the holiday hustle.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but perfect holidays don’t exist in reality.

When we fail to reign in our expectations for what a “good Christmas” entails, we set ourselves up for failure every time!

I have to continually remind myself this year that some is better than none.

Some exercise is better than no exercise.

Some Christmas baking is better than no Christmas baking.

Some advent devotions with the kids is better than no advent.

Some planning is better than no planning. You get the idea. 🙂

It’s all about showing yourself some grace. After all, would your husband and children rather have lots of Christmas goodies but a stressed-out, grumpy mama, or would they prefer less treats and a mama who is at peace? I can guarantee mine would choose the latter every time.

I cannot have a perfect Christmas, and neither can you, friend. Let’s just toss that impossible notion right out into the cold.

What we can have is a meaningful, peaceful Christmas, and that happens when we slow down and savor the season.

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3. We pray for peace in the holiday hustle.

It seems to me that the Enemy works overtime during the Christmas season. As we plan and prepare to celebrate Christ’s birth with our loved ones, he’s planning for our destruction.

But we need not fear his tactics, friends, because his power is limited while our God’s power is limitless. In Christ, we have the power to resist temptation, to choose peace, to choose kindness, to choose love, and all of the other fruit of the Spirit.

Ask the Father for a special covering this Christmas. I know I will be asking the same for our household – that God’s peace will rule our home, that we will be free to joyfully celebrate Jesus’ birth, that we will be free to enjoy loved ones and gift giving and delicious food, and so on.

Peace, Father, give us peace this Christmas!

I’ll be asking for all of these things that I might be able to give God the glory for the kind of supernatural peace that can only come from Him, and trusting that His peace is already ours to claim. 🙂

4. We seek scripture to give us peace in the holiday hustle.

I can’t tell you how often the Spirit brings a verse to mind that I’ve previously memorized just when I need it most. I’m certain you know what I mean, friends.

God’s Word brings us peace through His promises and His guidance.

So when I was thinking of you all, faithful friends and readers, and wondering what small gift I might be able to give you this Christmas, I thought of what busy women needed most during the holidays.

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Peace.

If you’re already on my subscriber list, you should have received a link to the printable below in your inbox. But if you’re new here, just fill in your information at the bottom of this article to access all of our free resources, as well as join the list for encouraging monthly newsletters.

Above all, take time to seek real peace this Christmas.

The best Peace you’ll ever find came to Earth as a mere babe thousands of years ago, just so He might know us. If you’ve never accepted the gift of His love and salvation, you can do so today. Just cry out to Jesus.

Lay down your burdens.

And let Christ give you peace.

Jen 🙂

Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Bible verse, Christ-centered living, Christmas, Devotional Thought, free printable, peace

For When You Just Want to Give Up

July 7, 2017 by jstults 15 Comments

It was bound to happen eventually.

I didn’t really have much experience to go on, but it felt like maybe the honeymoon was over, like maybe I just want to give up already.

Like all new ventures in life, blogging was fascinating and exciting at first.

Every page view was cherished, every comment celebrated.

Some days I would check the blog first thing in the morning and last thing before bed.  It’s the truth; I became just a tiny bit obsessed.

Maybe, just maybe, I even made an idol of it, to my shame.

Then somewhere along the line, the new thing stopped being quite so much fun and started to feel more like work, like just another burden to carry.

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Some people may say, it’s just a blog – let it go! But it’s not “just a blog” to me. These words are part of me that I’ve put on display for the world to see.  And there are these nifty little graphs that measure that part of me day by day by day…

And some days they just don’t measure up to what I’d like to see.

Even when they do measure up, no matter how high the bars of the graph reach, there’s this insatiable desire for more.

And the inspiration isn’t always there.

And busy schedules get in the way.

And sometimes…

I just want to give up.

Let’s be honest – it happens to all of us!

When that new baby comes home smelling so sweet, and everyone is exclaiming “how perfect”…

when that new job is so exciting that you just can’t wait to go to work, and people tell you how happy they are to have you there…

when that new ministry that you’ve been planning for and dreaming of finally comes to fruition…

when you make that purchase that you’ve been saving up for and it’s just. so. amazing….

when that mountaintop experience leads you to a faith-high that just can’t be matched…

Inevitably, a valley follows, and you just want to give up.

That perfect baby that slept so well in the hospital cries all night long, night after endless night.

That new job has its own set of challenges.  That new ministry has flaws, too.

That new purchase grows old or outdated.

Thus the mountain gives way to a valley, and those feelings that had us on cloud nine dissipate like mist burned off by the morning sun, so we wish for more.

But friends, our lives are not lived just on the mountain tops.  In fact, those mountain tops most likely add up to a very small part of our faith journey here on Earth.

The truth is that the valleys often naturally follow the mountains, not because anything has changed but because our physiology is built that way.

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Our bodies cannot sustain a constant state of “high,” so we must experience a “low” to bring us back to equilibrium.  Perhaps even more because we were not meant for this imperfect world, so we yearn for something better.

While I know that my faith isn’t meant to be built on feelings, as a woman emotions do come into play!  How often I’ve wished those pesky emotions away even though I know they serve a purpose. 🙂

So what’s a girl to do when she just gets a case of the blahs and the honeymoon seems to be over?

What’s a girl to do when her daily refrain becomes “I just want to give up”?

She recognizes the valley for what it is – temporary.

She remembers that she is not a citizen of this world.

She blogs/serves/works/mothers anyways because that’s what God led her to do. She loves anyways, she trusts anyways, she clings to His promises anyways, she speaks truth anyways, she leads anyways, and she hopes anyways.

She keeps seeking.

Sometimes she even stumbles and falls, and she’s so ashamed of her weakness.  But He’s right there to help her back up again.

Along the way, she learns a little more of the unfathomable depth of God’s grace.   She grows a little more confident in an overwhelming, unconditional love. She grows a little more confident in His timely provision. She grows a little more confident in the work He’s doing within her.

Because He promised that one day, one glorious day, that work would be complete (Phil. 1:6).

On that day the valleys will cease to exist.

And the mountain top lasts for all eternity.

And we see His face.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”  Heb. 12:1-3

When we just want to give up, we don’t.

So we wait, like so many others before us,

And we do not lose heart.

Jen 🙂

Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Christ-centered living, Devotional Thought, Don't lose heart, Encouragement, Hebrews, just want to give up, weary woman, Women of Faith

How to Have Life-changing Faith

March 9, 2017 by jstults 9 Comments

Very few of us will have a book written or a movie made about our lives. Most of us will go from day to day living out a normal (whatever that means) life with its undulating highs and lows. The vast majority of us will never have even as much as a one-column newspaper article written about the space between our birth and our death.

So, why should we be too jacked up over our legacy?

I believe the answer lies between Hebrews 10 and Hebrews 12. In Hebrews chapter 11 we find what most Christians know as God’s Hall of Faith. A beautiful recounting of the lives of God’s servants beginning with Abel and ending with nameless individuals whose acts of faith were worthy of mention in Scripture.

Check out a few:

Abel offered a sacrifice that pleased God’s heart. (11:4)

Enoch pleased God and was raptured. (11:5)

Noah acted in faith when God told him about the coming flood. (11:7)

Abraham, whew, Abraham just flat out left home and family and set out to only-God-knew-where on faith. Abe also set the bar high for obedience when he was willing to sacrifice Isaac, just because God said so. (Try that one on for size!) (11:8-12, 17-19)

Isaac, Jacob, Moses, the Israelites, Rahab, Gideon, Barak, Samson, David and so many others acted in faith and believed that God was who He said He was and that He was able to do what He said He would do.

Heart-pounding, life-changing faith.

Legacy-building, life-changing faith isn't just for the biblical heroes of old, it's for us today, too! Find out how everyday, ordinary faith leaves a godly legacy that lasts!  christian faith, godly legacy, leaving a legacy. faith legacy

 

The thing about all of the folks named in Hebrews 11 is that they were just ordinary people going about their ordinary lives doing ordinary things when God said, “Hey you!”

These people were not stained-glass saints when God called them. For heaven’s sake, Rahab was a prostitute, Moses was a murderer, and Gideon was a wimp. These were people, exactly like you and me, who had a heart set on obedience to God. They were willing to trust that God knew what He was doing and had a plan that was for their good, even when it was crazy-scary.

Heart-pounding, life-changing faith.

It is what God calls us to when we decide to set Jesus up as Lord and Savior over our lives. Jesus said that all we need is faith as tiny as a mustard seed in order to do the impossible (Matthew 17:20). Do you know how small a mustard seed is? It is teeny tiny, yet that is all the faith we need….just enough to say ‘yes’ to whatever God is calling us to, then He will add to our faith so we can do the thing in obedience.

Heart-pounding, life-changing, legacy-building FAITH.

Faith that just might one day have our portrait hanging on the walls of heaven.

Faith that might encourage someone else to use their mustard seed.

Faith that pleases the God of heaven immensely.

Faith that leaves a legacy for those who come behind us.

Where is God asking you to use your mustard seed of faith today? Share about it in the comments. I would love to pray for you.

Speaker, Author, Mentor. Bible teacher. Jesus-follower. Wife. Mom. Friend. Daughter of the King.  Leah Adams writes at leahadams.org to point others to Jesus. You can also connect with her on social media: Facebook (Leah Adams), Twitter (LeahCAdams), Instagram (leahadams64), and Pinterest (leahcadams).

*Being Confident of This makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please see the about page. Thank you for helping to support the ministry of this site!

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Let me tell you why I’m excited about this study. First, I have known Leah for several years now and have witnessed her passion for reaching women for Jesus, particularly through sound teaching and lots of grace! Second, I worked closely with Leah on the design of Legacy, so I’m very familiar with the material contained within these pages – it’s meaty, grounded in scripture, and exactly the message we need to be spreading in the world today!

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Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Bible study, Christ-centered living, Devotional Thought, Encouragement, faith chapter, godly legacy, Hebrews 11, legacy of faith, legacy-building, life-changing faith

5 Methods for Setting Goals Rooted in Faith

December 31, 2015 by jstults 7 Comments

Perhaps you found your way here after evaluating last year’s successes and failures. Perhaps setting goals is new to you, and you’d like a little help. Or perhaps, like me, you hesitate to set real goals in the first place because you’re desperate to avoid any kind of failure.

If you consistently make and break New Year’s resolutions, or if you often find your enthusiasm waning halfway through the year, then these methods for setting goals will help!

5 Methods for Setting Goals

1. Before you make an attempt at setting goals, spend time in prayer.

First, if you have an area of your life that needs improvement, God is probably already nudging you.  The best goals are those the Father wills for us, and to remain aligned with His will requires a little soul-searching and time spent praying. If you already have some ideas about goals you should set, ask Him for confirmation!

Second, after you finish setting goals, continue to pray over your God-dependent efforts.

For example, when working on getting healthier last year, I often asked the Lord for strong lungs and strong knees so that I could continue working out.  I asked Him to give me the desire to eat right and the desire to exercise. I even asked Him for strength to continue in the middle of some of those workouts.

When I quit praying for those things for a time, I struggled and wasted several months going nowhere.

Because New Year's is right around the corner and resolutions so often fail to stick. Why not try a biblical approach to setting goals instead? These 5 methods will set you on the path to success that lasts!

 

2. Support your goals with scripture memorization.

Often the Holy Spirit reminds me of verses I have memorized at key moments, such as when I’m tempted, struggling to trust, or avoiding obedience.  He even brings to mind verses to encourage me in my efforts.

The more we memorize, the more weapons in our arsenal!

When working on a goal pertaining to a weakness in your life or a desire to achieve something new, find and memorize a few key verses to motivate and encourage you.

And on the heels of scripture memorization…

3. Expect and prepare for opposition.

I’ve mentioned before that as soon as we aim to make positive changes  in our lives, Satan is sure to try us.  When we finish setting goals, we instantly become walking targets!  Doubt easily sets in when we fail to prepare for spiritual warfare.

Even friends or family may unintentionally discourage us because they fail to understand our goals, or perhaps they just don’t agree with them!  Either way, if we expect and prepare for rough seas at first, we won’t be easily deterred when storms blow our way.

4. Start with small steps.

Change isn’t easy, especially if you are trying to undo a life-long habit! Even if you’re simply adding a new habit, real change takes weeks – some experts advise 30-40 days or longer.

Don’t be ashamed of your baby steps!

Use the small start to build to bigger changes.

Starting small after setting goals allows you to focus on one thing at a time so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. For example, if your goal is to eat healthier, start by exchanging an unhealthy afternoon snack for a serving of vegetables.  Once you’ve mastered that step you can move on to a bigger step.

The verse below comes from the days of rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem. God’s faithful were few in number and faced discouragement at every turn. Theses were His words:

 “Also the word of the Lord came to me, saying,  “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this house, and his hands will finish it. Then you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent me to you. For who has despised the day of small things?” (Zech. 4:8-10a, NASB, emphasis mine)

Don’t despise the day of small things. Instead, celebrate every small victory!

What direction does God have for you this year? How can you make sure your goal-setting process is rooted in faith rather than in worldly wisdom? #goals #goalsetting #faith #christianwomen Being Confident of This | tips for goal-setting | how to set goals for Christians | Christian resource | grace goals | godly goals | New Year | resolutions | practical tips | praying for God's direction | work in progress women

 

5. Break loose from perfectionism by embracing grace.

I’ve written before about disliking the process of setting goals (and being afraid to get too specific) because I’m afraid to fail. I hate failing! As a perfectionist, I must recognize how this all or nothing mindset limits me.

The only way to break loose from perfectionism’s chains is to view myself as a work-in-progress woman.

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6, NASB)

Rather than avoiding the process of setting goals altogether, I purpose to show myself grace!

I know some current goals are going to be long hauls, especially this weight loss journey.  Whereas a setback might have caused me to give up for good previously, with grace in mind I can see the work in progress rather than individual or isolated failures.

* This post makes use of affiliate links. Jen is an affiliate for Grace Goals and will receive compensation for any purchase made through the affiliate links on this blog at no additional cost to you.  Thank you for supporting the ministry of Being Confident of This!

My favorite tool for grace-filled goal-setting:

Do you really want lasting, godly change?

If so, I highly recommend  Grace Goals, a new scripture-based goal-setting workshop developed by my friend Arabah Joy (this is my affiliate link).

Grace Goals contains 5 Workshops to help you identify your greatest desires and develop a plan for pursuing them. Grace Goals also targets the tools you need to succeed and (the most important part, in my opinion) helps you understand how faith plays the greatest role in achieving real change!

If you want God's blessing on your goals this year, then you must begin by asking for His direction! Let Grace Goals lead you through practical steps for discovering your godly desires and planning achievable steps to get there!  #gracegoals #goalsetting #faith #planning Being Confident of This | godly goals | God's will for me | discerning God's direction for your life | Christian women | Christian goals | goal-setting tips | how to set smart goals

Here’s what Grace Goals 2019 includes:

  • year end review sheets
  • spiritual growth inventory sheets
  • practical goal planner pages that will help you break your goal into smaller, less intimidating steps
  • printable pages to help organize your thought
  • The Grace Goals Workshops workbook – my FAVORITE part and what sets this apart from other goal-setting planners (think Bible study combined with practical tips)

Why Grace Goals?

Because as a pastor’s wife and woman of faith, I appreciate the fact that Arabah Joy takes a biblical approach to goal-setting rather than a worldly approach. In fact, in the very first workshop, Arabah Joy recognizes that no goal is worth pursuing if it hasn’t come from God.

If you’re looking for validation for goals and dreams you have already decided for yourself, then this probably isn’t for you.

On the other hand, if you genuinely want to know what the Lord wants you to focus on and the dreams and desires that come from Him (as scary as that can be sometimes), then you will find Grace Goals very helpful!

In fact, the first time I started Grace Goals, I quit.

It challenged me in unexpected ways, so I tucked tail and ran away scared.

But after falling under conviction, I picked Grace Goals back up, and I’m so thankful. Last year I used Grace Goals and the planning sheets to write and teach a Bible study on discipleship for some of the women in our church, several of whom are now discipling others. To God be the glory!

I used Grace Goals again earlier this year to pray over, plan out, and publish a new devotional I believed God had laid on my heart, Being Confident of This.

As challenging as it may be, I look forward to discovering what God has next for the coming year! 🙂

 

LIMITED TIME OFFER

This year Arabah Joy is offering 2 of her own bonuses – a spiritual growth plan workshop, as well as a spiritual disciplines and growth binder!

These are limited offers, so be sure to check and see when they expire.

In addition, anyone who purchases through my affiliate links is eligible for a limited time BONUS from me, too – a Work-in-Progress Toolkit. It’s perfect for those of us who struggle with perfectionism, and is designed to be a companion to Grace Goals – to encourage you along the way by addressing obstacles I’ve encountered when attempting to set godly goals.

 

Learn how a work-in-progress mindset can make the difference between your failure and success! #goals #faith #christianwomen #discipleship Being Confident of This | toolkit | perfectionism | goal setting | printables | weekly encouragement | victory | overcome | making progress | change | habits | growth

 

I know from experience that setting goals can easily be seen as a set-up for failure, so I want to help you learn how having a work-in-progress mindset creates a set-up for success instead!

The Work-in-Progress Toolkit Includes:

  • a beautiful truth-journaling worksheet that can be printed as many times as you want
  • high quality 8×10 scripture prints for you to hang around your home
  • a weekly encouraging email that will help you focus on overcoming those fears and insecurities related to goal-setting

No need to fear the goal-setting process with this grace-filled encouragement in place to help you focus on truth.

To claim your BONUS from me, simply email me your receipt from this year by January 7th and you’ll start receiving your bonuses each week for a month! 🙂

I hope you take advantage of this special offer, friends, because the content here is extraordinary!

Wishing you a fruitful New Year!

Jen 🙂

 

Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: biblical goals, change, Christ-centered living, failed goals, failure, Goal-setting, Grace, habits, how to set goals, lasting change, New Year, New Year's resolutions, setting goals, success, work in progress

Christians and Sin ~ Grace and Truth Week 43

November 6, 2015 by jstults 2 Comments

It’s Friday, and I’m just thankful to have made it through this week with a smile still on my face (well, mostly, haha). You?

I’m thankful for the Lord’s goodness in giving me the energy I need to get through each day lately.  I’ve started asking Him ahead of time when I know our day is going to be particularly long or potentially stressful to give me His strength and peace and patience. He always does. 🙂

But some days I don’t choose the opportunity for demonstrating patience or joy or strength. Some days I fail.

Some days I willingly sin.

I read a meme earlier this week on facebook that said something along the lines of: The mark of Christians is that they keep on fighting against sin. It doesn’t matter how many times they fall as long as they get back up and resume the fight.

How true.  We cannot expect perfection on this side of Heaven, but neither should we give up!  We choose to persevere, having faith in the results to follow.

This week my friend Dawn shared an excellent post on the mistakes we make.  She wrote of how they can lead to shame, but also to redemption. That’s the amazing Grace we experience as children of God!

Friends, this is one of those posts that bring a smile to your face and gratefulness to your heart – and maybe even a loud, “Amen!” to your lips.  So be sure to stop by and be encouraged. It’s well worth the time!

As we finish off this week, let’s remember how great a God we serve.

We may feel weak, but He is strong.

We may feel inadequate, but He is sufficient.

We may be weary, but He promises rest.

Let’s do it all for His glory!

Jen 🙂

P.S. I think I have fixed my Grace and Truth buttons, so if you’ve had issues with them in the past, give them a try today and let me know if they work! Thanks!

 

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3.) Visit 1-2 other links and leave a meaningful comment! We want to encourage community, so please don’t link and run!

4.) All links are randomly sorted – feel free to link as early or as late as you’d like. The playing field is even!

In order to be featured next week:

5.) Grab a button or link back to encourage new linkers. This is not mandatory to participate, but is required to be featured.

6.) Each host will choose one link to feature and promote via their social media channels next week.

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It’s the Great Halloween Debate, Charlie Brown

October 11, 2015 by jstults 18 Comments

It happens every year around this time, when nature eases the northern hemisphere into the Fall season with ever-cooling evenings and misty mornings.

When pumpkin-spiced everything invades North America, we can be sure the season is well underway, and along with pumpkin-spice, we’re sure to read an opinion or two about Halloween and Christianity.

It’s the Great Halloween Debate, Charlie Brown.

I’m not sure about you, but the Halloween issue is something I’ve struggled with as a Christ-follower (it’s right up there with what to do with Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.).

What to do with Halloween is one of those be-in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world gray areas that so often divides Christians.

Yes, I’ve researched the history of Halloween and Christianity –  both the pagan roots of the holiday and it’s Catholic counterpart, All Saint’s Day. I’ve even read a few articles lately about what Christians should or should not do in regards to this day.  I’m just not sure I agree that there is one “right” way anymore.

The problem with the Great Halloween Debate is that scripture remains unclear on what to do with such holidays. How to celebrate (or not) is of the those “gray areas” where the Christian response is not dictated by scripture alone.

Unlike other potential sin issues on which scripture is clear, such as sexual immorality, dishonesty, theft, murder, and so forth, we read very little about what to do with man-made holidays.

For this reason, much of what we read on Halloween and Christianity tends to be human opinion rather than scripture-based mandates.

We’ll find similar opinionated arguments about whether or not we should celebrate Easter and Christmas, yet somehow Christians have managed to bring Christ to the center in many ways for those holidays in spite of their pagan roots.

During the Fall season, The Great Halloween Debate takes center stage in many Christian circles. Is there a "right" way to decide what to do about Christianity and Halloween?  And if so, who decides?  We might just be missing the most important thing in all of our Halloween discussions?

Is it possible then, that Halloween might be redeemed in the same way? Or are Halloween and Christianity simply incompatible?

Halloween and Christianity

Although we don’t find the word “Halloween” in scripture, we do find examples of debates over other worldly issues dividing the early church.

The Corinthian Church debated over meat that had been sacrificed to idols (see chapter 8 of 1 Corinthians), which some considered to be tainted, evil meat and as thus, inedible. Here’s what Paul had to say on the issue:

“But food will not commend us to God; we are neither the worse if we do not eat, nor the better if we do eat.” 1 Cor. 8:8

According to this passage of scripture, those who ate meat that had been sacrificed to idols were neither right nor wrong.  It wasn’t better to do one OR the other. How can this be?

The morality of the meat debate depended not on the issue itself, but on their own personal convictions.  What is sin for some may not be sin for others in such scriptural gray areas.

Another example of debate over meat can be found in Romans 14.

“Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”Rom. 14:3-4

Once again Paul reminds these early Christians that the matter of whether or not one should eat meat sacrificed to idols is one of personal conviction.

Neither the partaker nor the abstainer should despise the other!

Then, in verse 5 of Romans 14, we find this interesting advice:

“One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.”

At first glance, this verse may be taken to speak to the Sabbath and on which day Christians should celebrate it.  But according to various Bible commentaries (Matthew Henry, Warren Wiersbe, etc.), it was more likely a reference to traditional Old Testament celebrations – whether or not to continue celebrating them.

According to Paul, “each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” It’s up to us as individuals, gifted with the power of the Holy Spirit, to decide about Halloween and Christianity, for ourselves.

We so often look to other Christians for opinions on such gray areas, or we judge fellow believers as right or wrong based not on scripture, but on our own personal convictions. We are guilty of looking to others for how to walk out our faith here on Earth when we should be looking to the Lord alone.

Let the Lord tell you what to do!

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t tell you what to do about The Great Halloween Debate.  When it comes to Halloween and Christianity, each person must come to on his or her own personal conviction.

If your personal convictions allow you the freedom to celebrate it as “unto the Lord,” then by all means, do so! If your personal convictions require you to abstain from the “holiday,” then by all means, do so!

 And if you, like me, lie somewhere in between on the Great Halloween Debate, then let it be “as unto the Lord,” as well.

Maybe, just maybe, making the right choice for Halloween is not so much about the details of how we celebrate (or don’t celebrate) but the why behind it.

And any day with Jesus as the focus is a good day, in my opinion, whether we partake or abstain.

Romans 12:21

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Perhaps the best way to overcome evil, to be a light in the darkness, is to quit biting and devouring one another and focus on loving each other instead.

Let’s not be like Sally in It’s a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. She worried over whom to believe – Linus or her other friends.  Rather than forming her own convictions, Sally allowed herself to be swayed by others throughout the night, leading to a lot of unnecessary worry and eventual frustration.

Let’s drop the Great Halloween Debate, shall we?

Instead, let’s just follow hard after Christ and quit worrying about what others are doing (or not doing).

For His glory!

Jen 🙂

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Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Christ-centered living, Christian living, Christians, Halloween, Halloween and Christianity

Whatever You Do ~ Grace and Truth Week 36

September 18, 2015 by jstults 11 Comments

We’ve all heard the verse before, the one that tells us “…whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord” (1 Cor. 10:31), but do we really have that mindset day by day? Are we intentionally choosing an attitude of serving the Lord in the midst of both the important moments and the incredibly mundane?

I so often fail to remember that even my most despised house chores are opportunities to worship the one true God and to practice thankfulness for the many blessings He has bestowed.

In fact, if you were at my house, you might find me grumbling about all that needs to be done, about how the four kiddos in the house leave their mess out for me to pick up, how my husband leaves his shoes for me to trip over, how the laundry never, ever, ever gets all the way done.

You may be laughing, but I’m not kidding – these are the complaints that at least register in my head even if I don’t always verbalize them (unfortunately, plenty of them do get verbalized). That’s just the honest, messy truth about me.

I can be a critical complainer.

But it ought not be so, friends.

I’m feeling more than a little convicted about this tendency to downplay the gift of life.

Every moment is a gift, even the ones that try us to the core of our beings.

I’m learning this difficult lesson – to give praise in the everyday and even in the painful moments, too.

Because I want to leave a legacy of putting God first in all things, not just in ministry or in writing, but in ordinary moments of parenting, and housekeeping, and marriage, and friendship, and… the list goes on.

Don’t you want it, too? The kind of legacy that leads others toward Christ rather than away from Him? The legacy that brings glory to a Father who deserves infinitely more glory than we can bring in a lifetime?

Lori of Searching for Moments reminds us of how easily we can get distracted from our legacies by busyness in our lives.  She reminds us of how mundane moments can add up to something extraordinary in the life of another. Stop by and give it a read – it’s worth the time!

Yes, we can leave a legacy of faith even while tackling that dreaded laundry mountain!

I’m not advocating a return to perfectionism, no sir.

I’m advocating a graceful approach to a spirit of worship in all that we do.

Let’s live out our faith even in the small moments.

In whatever we do.

Even laundry.

Jen 🙂

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When Life Gets Busy ~ Grace and Truth Week 33

August 28, 2015 by jstults 2 Comments

I’m so happy it’s Friday already, friends! We’ve had one of those weeks when you just fall into bed exhausted every night. 🙂  Has it been unbelievably busy at your house lately, too?

Today we lay a friend to rest, and yesterday we visited a friend in in the hospital who is hopefully waiting for word on whether or not she qualifies for a heart transplant. And as I type these words, an MK acquaintance of mine sits in intensive care with her baby, waiting for healing to take place.

I know we hear it all of the time, but that doesn’t make it any less true: life is short.  We’re not even guaranteed another day with our loved ones.

So as you finish out this week and all of its busyness, don’t forget to take time for one another as a husband and wife, and as a family (yes, I’m telling myself this, too!).  Keeping those bonds strong is more important now than ever before!

This week’s featured post is from Gwen at An Island Family by Grace. Gwen shares about a difficult time in their marriage, as well as 7 strategies for coping.  I especially like suggestions #2 and #7!  Be sure to stop by and visit her this week. 🙂

Find more encouraging words in the link-up below!

Hold fast,

Jen 🙂

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4.) All links are randomly sorted – feel free to link as early or as late as you’d like. The playing field is even!

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Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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Hope for the Hurting Wife: 30 Days of Practical Encouragement for Your Marriage.   marriage book|difficult marriage|husband|wife|hard times in marriage|marriage encouragement

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New devotional release from Jen Stults - Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. This book is for every Christian woman who wants to walk in confident faith instead of struggling with doubt, fear, and insecurity! self-esteem | self-confidence | self-help | motivational | personal growth | spiritual growth | how to be more confident | Christian women | devotional | Bible study | identity in Christ | superwoman myth | being like Mary

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