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The Power of Your Choice (and Romans 7)

August 5, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

Have you ever felt caught, without escape? No way to possibly win? The power of your choice is something I have learned over years and yet in moments, all at once. One more memorable lesson came on a hot summer day years ago…

The day soured suddenly, like spoiled milk.

First came the bee sting; then disobedient children added to the chaos. In the midst of all that, I realized all was not well with my husband, either.

Disappointment, frustration, harsh words, and fear all balled up into one, a gaping wound ripped open in the midst of a beautiful day.

All thoughts of fun or enjoyment vanished into thin air. And the children were watching. And I felt stuck.

I didn’t want to go to the beach anymore. I didn’t want to spend another second within a five-foot radius of him.

Instead, I wanted to admit defeat, to go home and sob in my bed, alone. I wanted to rage against him and flail my fists and ask, “How could you??”

But the children were there, conspicuously quiet in their seats, and everyone was waiting for me. We could either go to the beach and hope for redemption or we could suffer in silence for hours on the drive home.

I felt powerless to move forward, but I couldn’t leave and give up either. A rock and a hard place. And the children were waiting in the backseats.

Silent tears fell, and an inward scream of, “It’s not fair!” But it wasn’t fair for them, the innocents in the backseat, either. And I knew he was sorry. And I knew I should be sorry, too.

Recognizing the Power of Your Choice

In the moment I completely identify with Paul, who writes in Romans 7:

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Romans 7:21-24 (NIV)

A war wages within, but I cannot seem to call a truce. What is Paul’s solution?

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:25 (NIV)

Then a prayer, a pleading for mercy and forgiveness, a desperate cry for joy and peace rather than chaos.

Slowly, the tears dry up as peace floods my being. He’s with us, our Comforter and Redeemer.

I recognize the power of a choice, a choice to trust my God can mend what’s been broken and redeem a day turned ugly.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

I’m ready now.

The walk to the beach is long, sandy dunes, four-year-olds floundering in flip flops, and heavy bags filled with towels and clothing. I’m tempted to go back to the struggle, but I don’t.

Instead I focus on the prize, the joy that awaits on the other end, the fun I know we’ll have if we can just get there without falling to pieces. I’m focused on the freedom and victory promised to all of us in Romans 8!

The Victory Following the Struggle – Romans 8

The sun and the sand, the waves and the seagull calls, the laughter of children happy to be at peace, happy to run and dig and splash – they were all worth it, the sacrifice of giving in when I had the “right” to fight, the obedience to trust my Father could bring joy in the midst of pain.

He is powerful when we are powerless.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2 (NIV)

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39 (NIV)

You see, friend, we serve a God who doesn’t leave us to struggle alone. In fact, He gave His own Son willingly that we might experience eternal life and freedom from sin.

Jesus’ death is what gives you the power of your choice. Infused by the Spirit, we have everything we need (2 Peter 1:3-4) to make a right choice, whether we feel like we do or not! That’s the truth as proclaimed by God’s Word for His people.

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD. Joshua 24:15 (NIV)

I pray my family won’t remember the ugly of that day, that 15 minutes that threatened to ruin it all.

I pray we’ll remember instead the wild beauty of the dunes, the slippery feel of the clay on the lake bottom, and the giant sandcastle that was bigger than any we’d ever built before. Father God, let us remember the laughter of buckets of water raining over unsuspecting heads, the rocks we collected, and the look between just the two of us as we recognize our many blessings. Let us remember the power of a choice to trust in His strength rather than our own.

It was ugly.

But then… then it was beautiful.

Jen 🙂

If you enjoyed this read, you may also enjoy:

Christian Beware – The Dangers of Greener Grass

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10 Powerful Verses for your War Room

Christian Beware – The Dangers of Greener Grass

June 4, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

When we first moved to our small community, one of the things I appreciated most about our new home was the big, beautiful backyard surrounded by a brown picket fence. The security of a fence gave this mama of four much peace of mind!

At the time, our little ones could climb over the fence if they really wanted to, but we made it clear that the child who chose to breach that barrier without permission would face serious consequences.

So, the physical barrier of our fence served as a constant reminder to stay inside where it is “safe.”

But as much as I loved our fence, it could only protect my children if they obeyed me by staying inside its confines. The boundary was no longer useful should they decide to venture outside of it!

The Dangers of Greener Grass

And I’ve seen him, our littlest boy, eyeing the gate from time to time…looking for the proverbial greener grass. What would happen if he chose to leave the security and protection of our fenced backyard for the greener grass?

Perhaps nothing, at first. In fact, we may not even catch him doing it right away.

Escaping negative consequences, he would likely decide to slip out unnoticed again….and again… and yet again… until one time, he ventures far enough to find himself suddenly facing grave danger.

And like disobedient Peter Rabbit suddenly face-to-face with the Gardener, he quickly understands the reason behind the boundary, the one he crossed without permission, the one meant to protect him, not to ruin his fun.

But it’s too late.

The damage is done and now he must deal with the consequences, whatever they might be.

A Biblical Perspective on Boundaries

Does the story sound familiar? It reminds me of Eden. God gifted Adam and Eve with a panoramic paradise, a perfect relationship to enjoy, and a life of ease with all of their needs provided for.

It reminds me of Eden. God gifted Adam and Eve with a panoramic paradise, a perfect relationship to enjoy, and a life of ease with all of their needs provided for.

And he gave them one rule. One.

But you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die. Genesis 2:17 (NIV)

The scripture records that before they disobeyed, Adam and Eve walked around naked and felt no shame.

Can you imagine? Feeling no shame? Ever? We’d be like toddlers running naked after a bath, full of joy and exuberance, not a care in the world.

Total freedom and wild abandonment – that, my friends, was God’s original desire for us: to live a free and abundant life of pleasure in a world of paradise!

But we chose our own way.

When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, the whole world changed. They abandoned the the protection of the boundary to venture out on their own, embracing the dangers of greener grass.

The consequences were immediate and disastrous: separation from God.

Imagine the sorrow of a Father God sending his beloved children away from the garden, knowing that for the time being, they would suffer and struggle, knowing also that one day, His only Son would pay a terrible price for their single indiscretion.

Imagine the despair of being forced from that beautiful paradise, and the weight of knowing evil for the first time.

One rule; one choice.

How often are we like these original sinners, or that curious four-year-old? We fail to understand the reasoning behind the boundaries God sets for us.

Instead, we seek the illusion of greener grass.

Like the four-year-old investigator, we fail to see the danger lurking at first. We might not suffer any harm, or so we think.

But each time we leave those boundaries that our loving Father set to protect us, we take a bigger risk. And one time, we’ll have gone too far.

We’ll find ourselves face to face with danger, with the serpent, with Satan.

With His lies, he ensnares.

He promises freedom, but delivers slavery.

You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44 (NIV)

The Truth about Greener Grass

My friends, why oh why do we choose to leave the protection of the fence? Why do we ignore God’s carefully placed boundaries?

There isn’t any greener grass; in fact, it’s a hollow deception, a mirage. What lies on the other side of that lovingly placed boundary is

t…h…i…c…k mud,

sand,

miry clay.

That movie that you really shouldn’t watch, that book you shouldn’t read, that person you shouldn’t be with, that unhealthy substance you so desire, all provide satisfaction that is only temporary at best, not forever paradise. Your choice to willingly disobey only brings you danger, heartaches and burdens, so many burdens.

And each time you venture out, you risk more. You risk a reputation, a relationship, a marriage, a child, a ministry, sometimes even your very life.

God’s Boundaries Protect Us

The truth is, the only green grass you’ll find in life, the only abundant paradise, is right within our Father God’s fence. His boundaries exist for you, not against you; for your benefit, not your detriment; for your protection, not your suffocation.

Like a parent looking after a beloved child, He gently guides you away from evil in this world, if you allow Him.

The law of the Lord is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
giving light to the eyes. Psalm 19:7-8 (NIV)

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers. Psalm 1:3 (NIV)

So, the next time you think you see a prime piece of greener grass just over the boundary, remember Who built the fence and why He built it. Remember that what He most desires for you is life abundant. Remember the dangers of greener grass!

If you choose to stay inside the protection of the fence, the only thing you’ll miss out on is the Serpent’s deceit and the slavery that follows.

Choose freedom.

Choose abundance.

Choose life.

Jen 🙂

Here’s a great article with tips on dealing with temptation!

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Why Tomorrow Could Be Too Late ~ Death and Jesus

March 22, 2017 by jstults 11 Comments

You think it won’t happen to you, at least not yet. Death.

But it happened to a friend of mine just last night; a fellow blogger and most of her family passed from this life to the next as their home burned around them.

You think you have plenty of time.

As I prepared my children for bed this evening, we read a chapter from one of our Trailblazer books about the Salvation Army. This particular story happens to be about two orphans who sought refuge from the faith-based group.

And I thought of my friend Mandy’s surviving children, how they would be going to bed this evening for the first time without any parents. My heart broke for them all over again.

Without thinking about whether it was a good time or not, I told my kiddos about my friend’s tragic death right then and there. We talked about and prayed for the surviving children who I am sure feel left behind. My daughter even asked if we could adopt them, which brought a small smile to my face.

We talked about Jesus and how happy I was to know my friend and her family were now in Heaven even though I’m shocked and saddened to realize she will no longer live in this world.

Her death is the most recent in a string of deaths that have occurred in our lives this year.

And I keep thinking, all day long, we just don’t know how much time we have left.

I’m thinking of a man who sat in front of my church-planting husband and I last week, a man who heard the gospel clearly explained, a man who told us he knew he was headed for Hell. But when we asked if he was ready to accept Christ as his Savior, he responded with an honest, “No.”

He’s not ready. He thinks he has more time.

I’m thinking of another man who recently passed away, a man who was laying in a hospital bed, a man who would never return to his earthly home. This man, this father, he too heard the gospel message, but this man said “yes” to God. And I’m confident that he now resides in Heaven.

I’m remembering a woman we spoke with a over a year ago now who has attended church her entire life, but when asked if she knew she was going to Heaven, her best answer was, “I hope so.”

I’m thinking that lost people are all around us here and wondering what are we really doing, I mean really doing, to make sure they have that same opportunity to know Jesus Christ?

What have I done here in this space to make sure you have that opportunity, too?

You think you have plenty of time…. until you don’t.

Life is fragile and temporary, but a vapor in the wind (James 4:14).

So in light of my friend’s unexpected passing, I’m appreciating my spouse more, and I’m holding my children tighter and telling them how much I love them.

But, friend, there are things in this world that matter even more than love for family and friends, things that matter beyond this life and for eternity.

So all day long I;ve had this burden to tell you what you need to hear most in the world.

God loves you and it’s His greatest desire to have a relationship with you. He created you for a purpose.

But sin creates a gap that we cannot overcome on our own.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Rom. 3:23

We like to think of sin as the really bad things – like murder and rape and theft, etc. But sin is anytime we choose our way over God’s way. It’s missing the mark of perfection, and I don’t know about you, but I know for certain I am not perfect.

According to the first part of Romans 6:23, the consequence of our sin is death, separation from God both here on earth and for all of eternity.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Rom. 6:23

The Good News, also called the gospel, is that God desires relationship with us so much that He made a plan for our redemption. He provided a substitute who would pay the price of death for our sin – His one and only son, Jesus Christ, who bled red on the old rugged cross so that we might live!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:8

Not only that, but Jesus didn’t stay dead. No! He rose again, proving his power over death and His ability to keep the promise of new life (1 Cor. 15:1-8).

Here’s the part some of us fail to understand – we cannot earn salvation on our own. We cannot make ourselves acceptable to God. As a pastor’s wife, I’ve seen many who falsely believe that they need to clean their acts up first and then come to Christ.

That’s putting the cart before the horse, friend, for two reasons.

First, we can never be “good” enough or righteous enough to please God on our own.

Second, we need Jesus to help us make changes in our lives. It’s only by allowing Christ to work in and through us that we can be the people we need to be, the people we were created to be from the beginning of time.

Are there broken areas in your life?

Do you struggle to overcome addiction?

Do you seek help to forgive others and heal from old wounds?

Do you wish for whole and healthy relationships?

Do you feel like a failure who can’t seem to do anything right?

Christ alone is the answer to those struggles. He alone has the power to transform us from the inside out!

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Eph. 2:8-9

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Cor. 5:17

But that power is only for those who accept Him. Accepting Christ means acknowledging your own sin problem, and recognizing and believing in Jesus as the only solution.

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Rom. 10:9-10

The Bible is clear that salvation is as simple as a choice to believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to reconcile yourself with God and to ask for forgiveness. There are no magic prayers to pray, no special words – just a confession that you are a sinner in need of saving, and that you believe Jesus alone can save you.

Let me offer another word of caution. Many people falsely believe that they have faith in God when what they really have is just a belief that there is a God. The two are not one and the same.

According to God’s Word, even the demons believe that God exists, and they recognize that Jesus is the Son of God. Yet we know they will not receive eternal life in Heaven. Instead, they will remain separated from God and destined for Hell.

“You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.” James 2:19

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” Mt. 7:21

Real faith in God is characterized by a belief that you are a helpless sinner, and a personal trust in Jesus’s work on the cross as a payment for your sin. Real faith humbly submits to Jesus, the son of God.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” John 14:6

If you are a visual learner, then please watch this video for a clear explanation!

The truth is that none of us are guaranteed even another hour, and this is one decision you cannot afford to put off.

I’m asking you, friend, do you know Christ?

If you’ve never put your faith in Christ as your Savior, would you do so today? I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have – email me at jstults@beingconfidentofthis.com .

If you’ve already taken that step to trust Christ, are you living out His plan for your life? Are you telling others of the Good News?

Because the truth is that it could happen to you; in fact, someday it will happen to you.

Use your time wisely, friends.

Live a life that matters.

Jen

For more on this subject, please visit these trusted sources:

How to Begin a Relationship With God

How Do I Become a Christian?

Who Is God and What Does He Have to Do with Me?

The Dangerous Lie You Believe About Your So-called Sin

November 7, 2016 by jstults Leave a Comment

They say the most dangerous lie is that which contains a sliver of truth, just enough to make it sound good and appeal to our conscience while deftly leading us astray.

I fear some such lies have permeated Christian culture to the point that we have turned the gospel upside down, backwards, and inside out to make it mean the opposite of what it truly is. What a coup for the enemy to use God’s own well-meaning people to pervert the greatest sacrifice this world has ever seen.

What is this lie, you ask?

It’s the dangerous lie that we’re good, that we’re enough, that we somehow deserve the Savior’s love.

I’ve heard this lie before in bits and pieces, but always mixed with that sliver of truth that caused me to question, Maybe they didn’t mean that the way that it sounded…

But when those who call themselves Christ-followers begin to say things like, “Jesus wouldn’t have died for you if you weren’t good enough,” when Christian leaders deny the Word of God and call sin “acceptable,” I feel a hollow in the pit of my stomach, an ache that won’t easily be ignored.

It’s a lie, my friend, a dangerous lie that leads to a false gospel, one meant to keep you enslaved rather than freeing you to be the child of God you were created to be.

The Bible is clear that we are all sinners and deserve death (Rom. 3:23, Rom. 6:23, Rom. 3:10-12, 1 Jn. 1:8-10). This false idea that we can be good enough on our own is as old as the Garden of Eden when Adam and Even attempted to cover their shame after their disobedience.

You see, when Adam and Eve disobeyed and their eyes were opened to their own sin, they immediately felt the shame of being not good enough. They recognized their offense to a holy and righteous God, even as they busied themselves trying to cover it up.

It’s our natural tendency to downplay our sin and exaggerate whatever good we can find in ourselves. It’s our natural tendency precisely because we are imperfect beings in need of a Savior, imperfect beings who wish with our whole hearts to be good, to be special, to be loved.

The irony is that we were created for exactly that kind of relationship – to love and be loved, to walk in communion with our Father God. So when we walk away from Him and from His ways, we find ourselves an empty, needy, downright desperate people who are stubbornly determined to prove our worth, our rightness.

You and I see and hear examples of this every day, especially in these politically and morally tumultuous times. Every one wants to be right, right?

The danger that lies in calling ourselves “good enough” is twofold: it either tempts us to deny our need for a Savior in the first place, or for those who see so clearly their own imperfections, it tempts us to embrace a works-oriented salvation by wasting this one life we have trying to “earn” a status that is freely offered.

If the lie is true and we are so good that Jesus died for us, then why would we need His death?

Why would we need Him at all?

Thus the dangerous lie inverts the gospel, turns it topsy-turvy until we begin to believe that we must somehow save ourselves.

And that’s exactly what the enemy wants us to believe, my friends. He certainly doesn’t want us to acknowledge Jesus as our Rescuer and Redeemer. He certainly doesn’t want us to experience the power of a gospel that is both redemptive and transformative in our lives.

Instead, the enemy would love to keep us focused on…well…us.

Listen closely, friend, the heart-stopping beauty of the gospel is that we. are. not. enough.

We are not good.

We are not worthy.

We are helpless sinners who offend the holiness of our Almighty God.

Yes, that is who we are at our core apart from Christ, but praise God, it doesn’t stop there.

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He died for us, a gruesome, painful, suffering sort of death reserved for the worst of criminals. He laid down his life willingly because He loves us too much to leave us as we are, hopelessly enslaved by our own sin (Jn. 8:34, Gal. 5;1. Acts 13:39)

What’s so beautiful about such a horrifying death? It’s beautiful because He sacrificed for all of us, for the worst version of us, for the hidden parts that we don’t dare show to another human being because we can barely admit to ourselves the ugliness of what lies within us.

He died even for the worst of humanity – the kind of people who do things that make us sick to our stomachs. Yes, He died for them, too.

The dangerous lie about your so-called sin doesn’t lead you or others to salvation, friend. It leads you to more of the same-old, same-old – trying to cover up the darkeness within that we don’t want anyone else to see, that we won’t even admit to ourselves.

Even we who are already in Christ fall for the dangerous lie from time to time.

We fall for the lie when we tell ourselves this one little sin won’t hurt.

We fall for the lie when we abuse grace.

We fall for the lie when we choose the world’s wisdom over God’s Holy Word.

We fall for the lie when we tell ourselves we have to earn His approval.

I’m tired of falling for this dangerous lie, and seeing others fall for it, too. How about you?

Let’s start telling the whole truth instead.

Let’s tell how great the love of Jesus is, but let’s not leave out how sinful we are. If we leave out our sin, we deny the full power of the gospel. After all, how can one save someone who doesn’t need saving?

Let’s remind each other of our position in Christ – fully loved, fully accepted, always cherished, continually pursued – but let’s make it clear that these labels are for those who have actually accepted Christ. Otherwise, we unintentionally teach others to believe what is not yet true for them.

Let’s stop teaching others to be confident in themselves and teach them to be confident in Christ instead.

Let’s not be afraid to admit the depth of our own sin because when we do, we’ll fall even more in love with the Savior who chose us first, who died for us even when we despised Him and His ways.

Let’s be willing to count ourselves a needy and desperate people, hungry for a righteousness that comes from God alone and not ourselves (Eph. 2:8-9).

Let’s quit telling dangerous lies about our so-called sin.

All because of Jesus,

Jen

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

Christians and Sin ~ Grace and Truth Week 43

November 6, 2015 by jstults 2 Comments

It’s Friday, and I’m just thankful to have made it through this week with a smile still on my face (well, mostly, haha). You?

I’m thankful for the Lord’s goodness in giving me the energy I need to get through each day lately. I’ve started asking Him ahead of time when I know our day is going to be particularly long or potentially stressful to give me His strength and peace and patience. He always does. 🙂

But some days I don’t choose the opportunity for demonstrating patience or joy or strength. Some days I fail.

Some days I willingly sin.

I read a meme earlier this week on facebook that said something along the lines of: The mark of Christians is that they keep on fighting against sin. It doesn’t matter how many times they fall as long as they get back up and resume the fight.

How true. We cannot expect perfection on this side of Heaven, but neither should we give up! We choose to persevere, having faith in the results to follow.

This week my friend Dawn shared an excellent post on the mistakes we make. She wrote of how they can lead to shame, but also to redemption. That’s the amazing Grace we experience as children of God!

Friends, this is one of those posts that bring a smile to your face and gratefulness to your heart – and maybe even a loud, “Amen!” to your lips. So be sure to stop by and be encouraged. It’s well worth the time!

As we finish off this week, let’s remember how great a God we serve.

We may feel weak, but He is strong.

We may feel inadequate, but He is sufficient.

We may be weary, but He promises rest.

Let’s do it all for His glory!

Jen 🙂

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Fighting Weight Loss Failure

February 19, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 7 Comments

So, lately I’ve put myself out there in some big ways here at Being Confident of This in spite of my weight loss failures. I’ve told you why I hate speaking my goals aloud, why it frightens me.

Claiming that I’m working on losing weight, self-control, healthy living, is scary because it also makes me accountable to all who hear those words. It makes me accountable to myself and to my Lord, too.

And the Lord must be doing some sort of work in this area of health because He just won’t let it rest. 🙂

Last week, I wrote about the 5th cookie – how we can be like disobedient children who want our things our way. As I walked away from that post, and headed into Valentine’s weekend, I was pumped.

I was ready!

Somewhere along the line, I decided that since it was Valentine’s Day, I would allow myself to cheat a little.

It began with just a few pieces of candy that our children shared with me and extended right on into the evening with fried food. In fact, that sin snowballed right through the weekend and into Monday!

The problem wasn’t just that I failed to reach my healthy eating goals.

The real problem with cheating on my plan is that I didn’t even ask the Lord if it was okay. I shut Him out.

I hadn’t really thought about this before until one of my readers pointed out that when she wants something, she takes it without asking, even if she knows punishment (such as gained weight) will follow, because it’s worth it at the time.

I think all too often, I like to live in denial of the punishment coming my way, not because I think God is going to be angry with me, but because natural consequences follow my unhealthy choices, my weight-loss failures!

Truly, the worst part of falling off the healthy wagon this weekend wasn’t the over-full, bloated body but that I felt like such a hypocrite. Boy, did the Enemy seize on that feeling, too! I knew I was wrong. I knew I had failed, disobeyed. I knew I was a weight loss failure.

He knew it, too, that father of lies.

Didn’t you just write about making healthy choices and respecting the boundaries God gives you? Didn’t you just tell your readers that those boundaries are for your benefit? You’re such a hypocrite! You’ll never get a grip on this area. Success will always elude you when it comes to food… You’re doomed to life as a big girl…You might as well just give up now!

Whenever I start listening to the Enemy’s lies, I want to hide away like Eve in the Garden. Instead of running to the Father to confess my sin, I often try to deny it. I pretend it doesn’t exist. I blame others. I act like it’s not a big deal – just a “little” sin.

I justify.

But somewhere deep inside, I know the truth of my own choices.

I know, too, that my Father is gentle and patient and loving. I know He forgives sin and removes it from me as far as the East is from the West. I know He’s waiting….just waiting.

I don’t avoid Him because of His character but because of the wound to my own pride.

I consistently fail on my own.

I need Him.

With each comment here and on facebook, with each share notification, I’m reminded of His lesson. He’s been calling me, using my own words to beckon me to His side.

He’s relentless. He pursues without tiring. He does all of this because He loves me.

He loves me.

He loves you, too, friend, even those of you wallowing in failure as I have been the past couple of days. He loves those of you who feel you have no hope left. He loves those of you who struggle with doubts about His very goodness.

You see, the Enemy’s initial accusations were true – I was a hypocrite by choice, but the rest of what followed was all lies.

I know that with the Father’s help, I can overcome, even in the area of healthy eating. I can say no to food. I can say yes to exercise. I can learn to trust the Father’s boundaries, even after a failure, especially after a failure! I can trust His work-in-progress in me. 🙂

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

That promise always rings true. He is faithful, my sisters in Christ. Whatever boundary you’ve been struggling with, He is faithful. He is faithful to me, and He is faithful to you!

Don’t wait any longer.

Confess.

Cry out to Jesus.

Let Him pick you up from this place.

Let Him be the author of your come-back.

When you do, the weight of sin will be lifted; the Accuser will be silenced.

And you…you will be white as snow.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Grace and Truth, Faith Filled Friday, Fellowship Friday, Wholehearted Wednesdays, A Little R and R

The 5th Cookie ~ a Lesson in Boundaries

February 15, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 26 Comments

As my friend tells it, the whole ruckus started over the fifth cookie. We were at Mom’s Group, a small gathering of moms with young children, when her daughter begged for just one more cookie.

Unfortunately, she’d already eaten four others, and my friend was afraid that the preschooler might become physically ill if she ate any more. So, my friend said no like a good mom who is always looking out for her child’s well-being.

However, her daughter saw the “no” as coming from a mean mommy who wanted to limit her fun and pleasure. She wanted that fifth cookie, and she wanted it bad! How could her mommy deny her such a good thing?

A loud power struggle ensued as my embarrassed friend removed her daughter from the room for some discipline.

When my friend recounted the incident later that day during our parenting class, I realized something important – sometimes I’m like the preschooler who wants the fifth cookie!

We’ve talked before here in this space about how God creates boundaries for us because He loves us, not to keep us from experiencing pleasure or to deny all our wants. He creates boundaries simply for our own protection, much like my friend, the loving mother. She said no in order to protect her child, to keep her child from pain of a belly-ache, the harm of the consequence of over-indulging.

In the same way, our Heavenly Father lays out boundaries in His word in order to protect us, to keep us from harmful consequences. I’d like to pretend that those boundaries are for really “serious” sins like murder, stealing, sexual immorality, idolatry, blasphemy, and so forth. But the truth is that the boundaries are for so-called “little” sins, too.

Even sins like over-eating.

Yes, sometimes I’m the preschooler who wants the fifth cookie, but the Holy Spirit tells me no. Then it’s my choice whether or not to heed that boundaries that the Father has put into place for my own protection.

You see, He knows the ultimate consequences of the fifth cookie – not just the extra weight, but the potential health risks that go along with it. Even more, He knows what that lack of self-control says about the condition of my heart!

When I’m just dying for the fifth cookie, or the slice of pizza, or the brownie, or the glass of cherry coke, I’m allowing myself to be ruled by food, by pleasure. Our Father isn’t content that I should be a slave to food, nor to any other earthly thing (or person). He sent His one and only Son just for this – to set us free!

I long for this freedom, don’t you, my sisters in Christ?

I shared earlier this year about my one word – persevere. When I chose this word (or when it was chosen for me), I knew that one area in which I needed to persevere most was in this area of healthy eating and healthy living. I’ve bought into the lie that I cannot change these habits for too long now.

1 Cor. 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful;he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

The Father is setting new boundaries for me, and sometimes I don’t like it. Like the preschooler, I fight it.

I fight Him.

I justify that one more bite won’t hurt. One more cookie will be okay. Surely my Father wouldn’t deny me this simple pleasure, right? After all, I have freedom in Christ for all things, yes?

Don’t fall for those lies, sister.

Don’t be Eve in the garden, taking just one bite of juicy, forbidden fruit!

If I’m crossing the boundary in having that fifth cookie (or third, or maybe even the very first one!), then I’m opening myself up to all of those consequences that He so desperately wants to keep me from.

Maybe you don’t struggle with food, my sisters in Christ, but I’m sure you struggle with His boundaries in another area – loving others? obedience? abiding in Him? keeping your thoughts pure? respecting your husband? being patient with your children? honoring Christ every day (not just on Sundays)?

That fifth cookie, that movie you’re dying to see, that strong word bursting forth from your mouth, that stray thought, that questionable relationship, that extra sleep – whatever it is that keeps us from the abundant good God has planned for our lives quickly becomes slavery. His boundaries are better, friends.

1 Cor. 10:23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial.“I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.

Whatever your struggle might be, recognize that our Father lays out your boundaries because He loves you, because He wishes to protect you from harm! Remember that you have the power of Christ in you – the ability to overcome!

I’m learning that this food battle is going to be just that – a real war. I need His strength to persevere. I need His will-power to say no to the fifth cookie, even if My Fitness Pal says I have still have calories left in the day. 😉

I must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and rely on His leading moment by moment. One day at a time. That’s how I’ll persevere in this area of healthy living.

By His strength and grace alone!

Jen 🙂

Fat Girl Insecurities

Fighting Weight-loss Failure

Sharing with: Grace and Truth, Tell His Story, The Mommy Club, Wedded Wednesday, Fellowship Friday

Bad Guys Are Real

April 6, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 10 Comments

I love how she chatters when it’s just her and me in the van, her sweet, soft voice breaking through the unusual quiet as we travel. I point out two military jets flying overhead and she asks if they are carrying a lot of people.

“Well, no, these jets are carrying soldiers who work hard to protect us, protect our country,” I explain.

“They protect us? Like from bad guys? Mommy, are bad guys real?” Her voice gets quiet.

I want to tell her, “no.” I want to make her feel safe and secure, but the truth is that bad guys are real. “Yes, they are real, sis. Some people want to hurt others and do bad things.”

From the front seat, I imagine her eyes growing wide with this information. “Because they don’t love God?” She questions, so smart yet so innocent for all of her five years.

I want to tell her, “yes.” Yes, bad guys are bad because they don’t know or love God. They are bad because they hurt others. They are bad because they have evil inside, and they do unspeakable things. That would be the quick and easy explanation, right?

But it’s not the whole truth, is it, this idea that some are bad and some are good? The truth is we all have evil inside. We’re all bad in a sense; it’s called sin. So once again I stop myself from making it sound that simple in favor of telling her the truth.

“Well, yes, some bad guys probably don’t know God or love Him. But really we all have the ability to be bad. We all have sin inside of us, and we all make wrong choices sometimes. It’s only because we believe that Jesus paid the punishment for our sins by dying on the cross that we can choose good instead. That’s the only real difference between the bad guys and the good guys – Jesus. Without Him we would all be bad guys.”

She falls quiet then for a while, and I know she’s thinking about what I said. I hope and I pray that she really gets it. That there is nothing good in us, nothing deserving, nothing “better than.”

Because more than anything I want my sweet, dark-haired beauty of a daughter to know that she cannot, she cannot, be good on her own. She needs Jesus. She needs grace.

Even more than that, I want her to realize that we all need it, this grace, this unmerited, unearned, undeserved, unfathomable gift from a Father God who deigned to love us, a bunch of bad guys, enough to sacrifice His one and only Son.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Rom. 5:8

Yes, my daughter, bad guys are real.

But praise be to God,

Jesus is real, too.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: My Freshly Brewed Life, Managing Your Blessings, Mom’s The Word, Wholehearted Home, Messy Marriage,

Jennifer Dukes Lee, Rich Faith Rising

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One Unexpected Benefit of a Spiritual Fall

June 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 20 Comments

Oh how I wanted to skip this Five Minute Friday because I knew immediately what I needed to write about. And it’s oh-so-personal and painful. Like any painful thing, though, there can be beauty in the ending. So, I pray you will find the beauty here.

Fall.

Sometimes, when life circumstances or sin issues overcome us, we fall.

And so last Fall, I fell, and I fell hard.

After a long year of trying to sell our home, we spent the summer moving to a new town, with a culture all its own. It’s a small country town, and I love the quiet of it, the friendly feel of it. The summer was a whirlwind of remodeling and unpacking and general chaos.

So, when the long, quiet, isolated days of winter came and I had little to do but sit with my thoughts, I began to mourn.

I mourned for the family and friends who used to live nearby.

I mourned for our YMCA with its lovely child watch room.

I mourned for the fellowship of our previous church.

I mourned for my work-out buddy.

I mourned for the amazing children’s section of our old library, the convenience of grocery stores and Walmart, the trusted babyistters who lived nearby, and on and on.

At the same time, my marriage relationship was under a great deal of stress, so I was mourning the temporary loss of my best friend, as well. And as I sit here and write this, tears fall because the pain of loss was so, so great. It overwhelmed me.

I felt alone and abandoned, even by God.

And that’s when I fell.

I quit believing that He only allows things into my life that will be worked out for good. I quit believing that He was by my side, mourning right along with me. I failed to understand the purpose in His choice to remove almost every comfort from my life simultaneously.

Falling is hard.

It’s painful.

It brings sadness and shame along with it.

But on the other side of falling, is being picked up. Just like when my sweet little daughter falls and scrapes her leg. It hurts and we want the pain to go away, but there is also comfort there. There are loving arms to envelope us, to chase the sadness away.

Sometimes we fight those arms and we fail to find comfort. And that’s where I sat for a time. I blamed God for so many things in my life, even my own sin (gasp! yes, it’s true). But He never let go of me, even as I thrashed about and begged for release.

In a weird way, I’m glad I fell because it gave Him a chance to show me just how full His love is for me – that even when I’m downright nasty and ugly to Him, and sometimes even to those around me, He loves me anyway.

When you fall down, He picks you up.

Because He loves you anyway.

Praise the Lord!

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell His Story, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, Wholehearted Wednesdays, A Little R & R Wednesdays

Five Minute Friday is a challenge, a free-writing exercise for bloggers. 5 minutes of writing with no editing, etc. If you’d like more information, check here:

Recognizing the Power of Your Choice

The Victory Following the Struggle – Romans 8

The Dangers of Greener Grass

A Biblical Perspective on Boundaries

One rule; one choice.

The Truth about Greener Grass

God’s Boundaries Protect Us

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Rom. 3:23

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Rom. 6:23

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:8

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Eph. 2:8-9

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Cor. 5:17

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Rom. 10:9-10

“You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.” James 2:19

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” Mt. 7:21

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” John 14:6

It’s the dangerous lie that we’re good, that we’re enough, that we somehow deserve the Savior’s love.

Let’s quit telling dangerous lies about our so-called sin.

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I don’t avoid Him because of His character but because of the wound to my own pride.

I long for this freedom, don’t you, my sisters in Christ?

If I’m crossing the boundary in having that fifth cookie (or third, or maybe even the very first one!), then I’m opening myself up to all of those consequences that He so desperately wants to keep me from.

So, when the long, quiet, isolated days of winter came and I had little to do but sit with my thoughts, I began to mourn.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Eph. 2:8-9

Satisfaction Through Christ
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