6 More Benefits of Studying God’s Word

January 14, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

Most Christian women have heard of the importance of regular Bible study, yet many fail to see the Bible as the powerful weapon and tool it is described as in Scripture. Some are simply unaware of the many benefits of studying God’s Word!

I see it all too often in my own life, and in the lives of others – we tend to rely on our own wisdom and the wisdom or advice of others more so than we do God’s Word.

Isn’t that sad?

But I’m frequently guilty of problem-solving on my own, and I’m sure you are, too, friend, because that’s human nature.

I can’t tell you how many times women have sat across from me, often in tears, relating a personal problem or issue they’re struggling with. Yet when asked, they can’t tell me what the Bible says about their problem, or even if they can tell me what the Bible says, they admit doubting it’s truth.

And I can relate because I’ve had that same struggle between knowing what is true and believing what is true myself!

If we want to experience confident faith and abundant life, then we must be more than just “familiar” with the Bible. The more time we spend in the Word, the more opportunity we have to grow in Christ, the easier it becomes to trust not only God’s character, but His very Word!

The Bible is clear that scripture is living and active, friend (Hebrews 4:12), a powerful tool in the life of Christ-followers, so why do we so easily lay it aside?

6 More Benefits of Studying God’s Word

**If you missed the original Benefits of Bible Study posts, you can read about why you need to study God’s Word for yourself here and then read first 5 promising benefits of personal study here.

6. One of the most important benefits of studying God’s Word is that it gives us life (both spiritual AND physical)!

Scripture teaches that man doesn’t live by bread alone, but by the word of God (Mt. 4:4). Studying the Word doesn’t just give us spiritual life, but also physical life! The same idea is confirmed in other places in the Bible, as well:

Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. John 20:30-31 (NIV)

For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 1 Peter 1:23 (NIV)

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. Psalm 119:25 (NIV)

This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me. Psalm 119:50 (NASB)

7. Studying God’s Word also helps us to grow in faith and in Christ-likeness.

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation… 1 Peter 2:2 (NIV)

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. Romans 10:17 (NASB)

If faith comes from hearing the Word of God, then it follows that the more we hear it, the more likely our faith is to grow (obviously there are exceptions to this – it all depends on our heart condition and how receptive we are to the Word). When we are new in Christ, we are like spiritual babies who need spiritual milk to grow and flourish, but as we grow, we need solid food – deeper spiritual truths (as mentioned in Heb. 5:12-13).

Whether mature or immature, our spiritual growth relies on us taking in the nourishment we need consistently!

8. Another benefit of studying God’s Word is that as we mature, we can lead others in truth, too!

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 1 Peter 3:15-16 (NIV)

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV)

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

As Christ’s ambassadors here on this Earth, we have a responsibility to share the truth with others, but we must be careful to do so in a God-honoring way. We cannot correctly handle God’s Word or train others (including our own children) if we don’t rightly understand His Word for ourselves. This is one reason why personal Bible study is essential in the life of Christian women!

9. Studying the Word also helps us to fight spiritual battles and experience victory!

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:1-4 (NIV)

As Christian women, the Bible is clear that we will face both temptation to sin and accusations from the Enemy.

And don’t we know it, friend?

But the Word is equally clear that we have a weapon to use in our defense – God’s truth!

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:17 (NIV)

As part of our spiritual armor, we’ve been given a weapon – the sword of the Spirit – which is used not only to defend ourselves, but also to fight back!

Let’s follow the example of Christ. Let’s study the Word so that we know the best verses to use to combat the Enemy’s lies and accusations.

10. The Bible gives us peace and hope.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Phil. 4:8-9 (NIV)

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4 (NIV)

One additional benefit of studying God’s Word is that we experience hope and peace that are beyond worldly explanation.

Is your life full of chaos? Spend time in the Word.

Does all hope seem lost? Run to the Word.

You will find in the Bible a special comfort that you cannot find in this world, friend!

11. Finally, spending time studying God’s Word helps us produce spiritual fruit.

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. Ps. 1:2-3

What Christian woman doesn’t want to yield more spiritual fruit?

We can all use more patience, more joy, more peace, more kindness, right?

When we delight in God’s law (Old Testament reference to Scripture), when we study it by meditating on it and memorizing it, we bear fruit that we cannot possibly bear on our own.

We prosper! And in doing so, we bring much glory to the Father.

Friend, please don’t neglect the potential power of God’s Word in your life. It’s immeasurable and indescribable.

Time spent in the Bible is time well-spent. Just consider the many benefits we’ve discussed in the Benefits of Bible Study series!

Next week we’ll be wrapping up this series with some of my favorite tools for excellent Bible study – resources that will help you make the most of your time spent in the Word!

Until then, take a few minutes to meditate on God’s Word today, won’t you?

Jen 🙂

P.S. If you can’t wait until next week, one of my new favorite Bible study tools is below (my affiliate link) The Love the Word Bible Study Binder by Arabah Joy contains a whole year’s worth of Bible study helps – reading plans, journaling sheets, and the PROSPER Bible study method. I worked on the design for this binder, and it’s one of my favorite projects ever!! Knowing the both the quality AND quantity of material this product contains lets me recommend it with confidence. 🙂

6 Ways to Set Goals with Confidence

December 31, 2018 by jstults 1 Comment

I’ve felt the familiar tension and resisted it all day long. I know what I should do, what a part of my being wants to do, yet I don’t do it. Setting new goals is easier to avoid.

It’s the tension between the old-in-sin me and the new-in-Christ me, the self-centered, lazy, fearful me and the Christ-focused, hard-working, confident me.

I know who I want to be, friends, but the distance between who I am today and the Christ-confident woman I want to be stretches out before me like a road in the desert that only ends when it meets the horizon.

The task seems impossible, yet I know I serve the God of the impossible.

And hasn’t He proven Himself faithful time and time again in my own life? Each fear-inducing challenge came with the grace to persevere: each one followed by unexpectedly beautiful rewards worth so much more than the sacrifice required for obedience.

So why this goal-setting angst?

I know the truth yet my feelings lead me astray. I’m a stubborn, helpless, rebel whose only hope is Christ!

Praise God He loves me enough to keep molding me.

He pursues me even when I run and hide in fear like Eve did so long ago. He creates a restlessness in my spirit that causes me to yearn for more – more Christ-likeness, more knowledge of Him, more surrender to His plans, more freedom to be who He created me to be!

Do you want it, too, friend?

Do you long to walk into the New Year with confidence in God’s direction, with focus, with purpose?

6 Ways to Set Goals with Confidence

1. Surrender to God’s plan for your life.

To be capable of discerning God’s direction and claiming the confidence that comes only from Him, you must first surrender your very life to His plan for you.

This begins with salvation, friend. You cannot follow God if you don’t have an authentic relationship with Him. You cannot claim His promises if you don’t first belong to Him.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 (NIV)

Do you know Jesus on a personal level? Are you confident in your salvation? If not, you can be today!

Don’t waste another year chasing dreams that aren’t meant for you. Instead, find your real purpose in Christ!

You can set goals with confidence when you learn to see yourself as a new creation in Christ!

2. Consider your unique spiritual gifts.

Scripture is clear that each of us Christ-followers have been gifted by the Spirit for the building up of God’s body, the Church. One practical way to understand who God created you to be is to take a spiritual gifts test or inventory. In fact, I recommend taking several so that you can gain a clear picture of your top few gifts. You may be surprised by what you learn!

Learning my own spiritual gifts has given me the confidence to use them for God’s glory rather than sitting back and waiting for someone else to tell me who I am supposed to be.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

Whether you currently believe it or not, friend, you have your own spiritual gifts, and they are much needed in your local body of believers!

Set goals with confidence by understanding the spiritual gifts you have today.

3. Consider your past preparation.

When I look back over my life as whole, I see the ways in which God has prepared me for the tasks God has given me today. Like a beautiful tapestry, the threads of my unique experiences weave in and out of one another to create a beautiful work of art.

Years spent waiting prepared me for leading women’s ministry today. Missionary kid experiences gave me a heart for the lost essential to our current church-planting journey.

Even the pain-filled years become connecting threads in the hands of the Master Weaver.

God has a plan for you that is not new to Him. It’s been His plan from even before you formed in the womb. The experiences you’ve had, the challenges you’ve faced – these things helped mold you into the person you are today.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Look back at the road you have traveled, friend, and see if that path, coupled with your spiritual gifts gives you insight into where God is leading you today.

Set goals with confidence by remembering the progress you’ve already made!

4. Pray for godly desire.

Our God amazes me. He isn’t content with second-best for me, neither is He content with second-best for you, friend. I remember the year that I didn’t want persevere to be my one word because it sounded like hardship to me. But what a year that turned out to be!

The more I learn about His character and grow in His likeness, the more I realize that His challenges are worth tackling. His rewards far outweigh the sacrifice and suffering often required.

Yes, following hard after Christ requires cost. (Matthew 16:24-24) I won’t lie to you about that.

I won’t tell you to ask God for health and prosperity and successful relationships in the New Year because I won’t presume to know that’s what is best for you.

Sometimes God’s best doesn’t look good at all to our human eyes. We’d rather avoid pain, suffering, and hard work, let’s be honest!

After all, how can losing a loved one possibly be good for us? How can illness benefit? How is loss of income or possessions in our favor?

I’m sure the disciples asked the same when their Greatest Hope hung dying on the cross. How could such a death be part of God’s eternal plan? Yet it was!

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 (NIV)

Ask Father God to give you godly desires, friend, but also to give you a willing heart that accepts whatever path He deems best, even if that path requires hardship. When you pursue His desires for you, you can be confident that He WILL establish your steps.

Pray for a sensitivity to the Spirit before you sit down to set goals, then set goals with confidence by trusting God to answer that prayer!

5. Create a plan.

How often have you set a goal or made a New Year’s resolution that utterly failed? (both hands raised meekly over here, too!)

When the excitement of the New Year or new habit wears off and our fresh start begins to feel like a lot of hard work, we either persevere or we grow discouraged.

At this point in your journey, a solid plan makes all of the difference between success and defeat!

If you know that following steps a, b, and c will get you to the end zone, then it’s easier to push through those pesky plateaus. However, if you don’t have a solid plan in place, you’re likely to give up when the going gets tough.

*This site makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thank you for supporting the ministry of this Being Confident of This!

This is why I continue to use and recommend Grace Goals by Arabah Joy. Grace Goals begins with a biblical foundation (beginning with prayerful consideration of God’s direction) and builds on that using practical tools for success (like planning sheets, evaluations, etc.), all the while teaching you how grace motivates real and lasting change!

It has become my go-to tool for making concrete plans to successfully complete projects God lays on my heart (including the latest book, Being Confident of This), and this year I’m planning to use it to make some changes in my habits (like learning to prioritize my schedule/say yes and no to the right things and possibly working on some healthier habits, too).

I know from experience that going through the Grace Goals workbook process will help me to create a doable plan and protect me from becoming overwhelmed.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

Set goals with confidence by creating a practical plan for success!

6. Take the first step.

There comes a time when Christian women need to quit praying and planning! Yes, you heard me right – quit praying and start obeying.

We often tend to use the “pray about it” excuse as a reason for delayed obedience, which is really dis-obedience. If you’ve prayed about your goals, spent time communing with the Lord in regard to His plans for you, and followed the Spirit’s leading in creating a plan, then at some point, you have to quit praying and planning and start doing.

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. James 2:14-17 (NIV)
If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4:17 (NIV)

It’s not enough to talk about the goals we are setting, to pray about the goals we are setting, or even to write down the goals we are setting if we don’t take that first step of action. In fact, according to scripture, failing to act on what we know God wants is sin, plain and simple.

This is the point in time when your confidence will really be tested!

Is this the right goal for me? Is the timing right? What if my own fleshly desires got in the way and I’m choosing the wrong path? Will the work be too hard?

What happens if I fail?

These questions and doubts will keep you stuck indefinitely if you allow them to, friend! Answer them with what you know to be true about God and who He created you to be.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Review the process you have taken so far and rest in the knowledge that even if you happen to mis-step, He will correct your path! Your Father God hasn’t asked you to take on this new journey on your own. No, He promises to guide and direct you, to give you strength and courage!

Set goals with confidence by following through and taking that first step.

Friend, I firmly believe that Christian women like me (and you) should be more intentional about how we spend our time and the things we choose to pursue in life. When we embrace the work-in-progress in us, we recognize the need to continually partner with the Spirit so we can be molded into who God wants us to be.

We know our time here is limited, so let’s not waste it, amen?

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalm 143:8 (NIV)

As much as fear pulls against you, let God have control over your life this New Year! Let Him determine the path you take. Let His desires become your own, believing that His way is what is best for you and for your family.

Set goals with confidence this year!

Jen 😊

P.S.

Before you go, I’d love to offer you this FREE printable to help you as you sit down to prayerfully consider your plans for the New Year! We like to give all of the best stuff to our faithful subscribers! Just click on the picture below to go to the sign-up form for our newsletter, and you’ll be on your way to your freebie.

If you’re serious about setting godly goals this year, please check out the recommended resource Grace Goals!

Harness the power of grace-filled, Spirit-dependent living in order to see real transformation in your life. If you join through our link by clicking the picture below, we’ll send you a free bonus – The Work In Progress Toolkit!

Just purchase Grace Goals, and send us a copy or screenshot of your receipt along with your best email address for keeping in touch, and we’ll send the first email of your BONUS Toolkit. (NOTE: limited offer valid through January 7th, only)!

7 Tips for a More Peaceful Christmas

December 17, 2018 by jstults Leave a Comment

Several Christmases ago, as I looked at the family calendar, my heart hardened with resentment. For a season said to bring joy and light and peace, it was only bringing me stress!

In addition to my overwhelmed schedule, the desire to provide gifts for our family led to financial stress. And then there was our marriage… Due to my husband’s PTSD and years of repeated struggle during the holiday season, we barely dared to hope for a completely peaceful Christmas.

Peace is what I desperately longed for, yet peace seemed distant and unreachable.

It shouldn’t be this way for a Christian woman, I thought.

I should be radiating peace now more than ever in anticipation of Jesus’ birthday! Christmas celebrations are supposed to be fun, not stressful, so why am I so discouraged and weary?

Friend, as much as Hallmark and Hollywood tell us otherwise, there’s nothing perfect about the Christmas season!

Problems don’t magically disappear, relationships often remain strained, and Christians, even strong Christians, still struggle with sin.

Because we live in a fallen world, sin and suffering taint our Christmas joy. Scripture speaks of how all of creation groans in anticipation of that day when Christ’s return ushers in the full completion of His love story and a restoration of peace on Earth, a perfection only possible when this world ends and eternity begins.

In the meantime, Christmas stirs up the longing for that completion, that elusive perfection we so desire. So as we observe the hard parts of our everyday lives side-by-side with our expectations of joy and light and love, we feel dissatisfied.

And praise God that we do, for this world is not our home! We’re meant for a glory this world can never provide, even at Christmas time.

7 Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

So how can we reconcile these feelings of longing and hope not yet realized with our ideals of a peaceful Christmas?

The answer is the same today as it was all those years ago – we look to Christ!

Adjust your expectations.

Part of our struggle for peace in the face of perfectionism is our tendency to set up unrealistic expectations for what Christmas looks like for our home, family, and even church! If you expect perfection this year, friend, you’re bound to be disappointed sooner rather than later. Perfection just isn’t possible!

Read about how overcoming expectations and finding peace in the longing is a good thing!

2. Rest in your work-in-progress status.

If you want a peaceful Christmas, friend, you must learn to approach the holidays with a confidence that is rooted in your position in Christ. If your confidence comes from how well-decorated your house is, how delicious your baked goods, how spiritual your advent plan, or how awe-inspiring your gifts, then your confidence rests on sinking sand rather than on the Solid Rock.

One broken decoration, one burnt cookie, one missed day of advent, or one failed gift – one less-than-perfect moment is enough to bring it all tumbling down.

Read about how embracing your work-in-progress status strengthens you for the fight for Christmas joy here!

3. Guard against strife in your marriage.

Did you know that January is the month when the most people file for divorce in America? Christmas places a burden of extra stress on marriage relationships if we let it! Even healthy marriages are at risk for extra bickering and disappointments that result when we realize our family is not Christmas-card perfect. Taking a family photo alone can be quite the ordeal, am I right?! 😉

The Enemy knows this to be true, and it seems he works overtime to create distance in families during the Christmas season. As Christians, we must be on guard, lest we allow him to rob us of our Christmas joy!

Read about how to protect your marriage as a necessary step toward a peaceful Christmas here!

You can also read about how to survive Christmas as a hurting wife in my friend and co-author Rebekah’s piece here.

4. Focus on what your family really needs most.

In the commercialism of Christmas, we parents tend to worry over Christmas gifts. After all, we want to bless our children and demonstrate our love for them in the same way our Father God did for us – through a gift.

While there’s nothing wrong with gift-giving, if finances are tight or if children have asked for one of those impossible gifts that parents have no control over, we can easily feel like we’re unable to give our kids what the world would call a “good” Christmas. Feeling inadequate hardly leads to a peaceful Christmas, does it?

Whether your world has been turned completely upside down or this year has just been more challenging than most, rest assured that you can give your children what they really need this Christmas, friend!

Read about the best way to give your kids a good Christmas here.

5. Let go of Holiday guilt!

If you’re a woman of faith who has children, then you know the emphasis of keeping Christ in Christmas, right?

Good Christian mamas are supposed to purchase or create thoughtful gifts, maintain an atmosphere of peace in our homes, and participate in all of the joyous programs and celebrations, and on top of that we’re also supposed to teach our children the real meaning of Christmas at the same time, too.

Sometimes all of that pressure to perform adds up to a burden of holiday guilt, doesn’t it? And with it, our desire for a peaceful Christmas slips quietly away…

Read about overcoming guilt by simplifying advent here!

And follow my friend Aimee’s tips for simplifying all of your Christmas plans here. I love how she says she doesn’t have to make pies anymore! 😉

6. Look for peace in the right places.

A peaceful Christmas doesn’t happen by accident, friend.

No, a peaceful Christmas requires intentional action to keep ourselves grounded in God’s truth. Only then can we ignore the holiday hype in favor of realistic expectations in this season of joy! The good news is that there are practical steps we can take toward peace this year.

Read these tips on how to savor the season and have a meaningful Christmas here! (and this one comes with a FREE printable – my Christmas gift to you)

You can also find more practical tips on how to keep first things first this Christmas season for a more peaceful Christmas here (and another FREE printable!). I appreciate this author’s take on Jesus’ example in this area of Christian self-care.

7. Be prepared.

I’ll be honest, some of my holiday stress often comes from feeling unprepared and overwhelmed.

As a woman who continually over-estimates her ability to get things done, Christmas tends to sneak up on me!

If you’re like me, then you might appreciate this advice to organize and prepare ahead of time so you can experience less stress – that sounds like a good step toward a more peaceful Christmas!

The truth is you can have a more peaceful Christmas this year, friend, if you so choose!

Don’t buy into the holiday hype and set yourself up for failure.

Say no to busy schedules and fancy gifts. Say no to unrealistic expectations and the Enemy’s attacks on your character and your marriage. Say no to stress and holiday guilt.

Instead, say yes to Christ. He came so that you might have everlasting peace.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 (NIV)

Your hope and faith in Jesus is the best way to experience a peaceful Christmas!

Jen 🙂

For the Woman Who Feels Like a Failure This Christmas

December 11, 2018 by jstults 2 Comments

A few years ago, I set myself up for some epic Christmas failure. December had finally arrived. The hope and joy of the Christmas season lay spread before me as thoughts of maximizing holiday fun and education swirled through my head.

I envisioned handmade gifts and peaceful evenings at home near the brightly lit tree, my husband walking our children through the Christmas Adventure Box advent plan.

Yes, I fell prey to Pinterest Syndrome, quite deadly to a mama’s often already shaky confidence. It all began with a few deceptively simple ideas and grew into a nasty and surprisingly strong anticipation of all things good and no things ordinary…. or, heaven forbid, even bad.

My Christmas expectations soared to incredible heights, destined to plummet at the first sign of potential failure. And here I thought I was creating a “simple” Christmas this year (I’ll forgive you if you snicker a little at this point.)

In my defense, the holiday season was progressing suspiciously well for our family. Thanksgiving came and went with no major incidents, and everyone was healthy for the moment, a rare winter treat in a family of six.

My husband and I even managed to put up the Christmas tree and lights with no arguing and minimal frustration, despite the circus of craziness that four enthusiastic children create when forced to wait.
We had conquered a pattern of holiday frustration for the first time in years!

The Holiday Hypocrite

Then somewhere along the line, life began to get very real. Our youngest son, four years old at the time, decided the holiday season would be a good time to test our parental authority in various, publicly humiliating places.

Our budget grew tight.

I stressed about all of The Things on my list.

On top of all of that, we became suddenly busy with all of the typical holiday concerts and programs and gatherings. Not exactly the peace I had anticipated.

And it was all fun and good and mostly necessary, but it does make one a little weary…

For the most part, I was able to maintain the joy and hope of the season, after all there was a lot of sweet memory-making sprinkled into the mix. But I held onto a dark secret.

After all of the praise and promise of the Christmas Adventure Box that I shared with you previously, we didn’t even manage to do it this year! At all.

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

It just didn’t happen.

In fact, we only managed to hang onto a few of our typical holiday traditions. I didn’t even attempt to mail out Christmas cards or get a family portrait.

I felt like a failure, no worse – a holiday hypocrite!

My carefully planned and highly anticipated season of hope and joy crumbled before me. The disappointment that followed was slightly bitter and came with a side dose of viral illness, as well as over a foot of snow, that kept us cooped up at home for weeks.

I could have written about it, but to be honest, I felt unworthy. So like most hypocrites, I hid from you all. I quit writing. I quit taking pictures.

I made excuses and planned to resume in the new year. And when I finally succumbed to the viral plague making the rounds in our home, I wallowed in my misery.

For a few days, God and I were barely on speaking terms.

I wasn’t just disappointed about failing to do advent as a family – after all, sometimes as mamas we have to pare life down to the nitty gritty in order to survive with sanity (and with a family who still wants to be around us). My disappointment came more from my hiding away in blogger shame and silence.

The thing is that I believe in Grace, I really do.

I’m very aware that without Grace, I’d be a hopeless mess. Even with Grace I still have nothing to boast about except for a God who gives second chances, and third, and fourth, to infinity and eternity, a God who loves me deeply for who I am, not for who the world thinks I should be, a God who through the blood of Jesus, sees the best version of me even when I’m acting my worst.

But like many mamas, I have a hard time extending that grace to my own messy self.

So, I confess: I’ve been a Holiday Hypocrite.

In fact, I could be called an everyday hypocrite, too, because I’m far from perfect. I still lose my temper. I still forget important events and birthday cards.

I still argue with my husband and become impatient with my children. I’m still selfish with my time. I’m still prideful. I still say “no” to the Holy Spirit in so many ways.

I’m still learning who God made me to be.

But that’s the beauty of our journey in Christ, friends, that we get chance after chance to do things differently.

Those failures we feel so deeply are not the end of the story. We are given an abundance of opportunities to let our Father God change who we are, from the inside out. And that good work He began in saving us from a life of sin, He promises to continue to the very end (Phil. 1:6). We can have complete confidence in that!

So, keep up the good work, friends, even if your holidays fails to live up to your expectations.

Fight the good fight.

Run the good race.

And when you fail or fall, let Him pick your hypocritical self back up again and hold you for a while, heal your wounds if needed, and send you off on your way. Not alone, for He runs alongside you.

Don’t let those fiery darts from the Enemy bog you down, not now, but put on the full armor of God and stand firm in your faith.

No more hiding away, no more pretending to be something we are not, no more fearing what the world thinks.

Instead, let’s embrace our work-in-progress status and the indescribable hope that it affords.

Not to us, Lord, not to us
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness.
Psalm 115:1

Praise be to His Name!

Jen

For further reading: https://arabahjoy.com/uncommon-spiritual-discipline/

3 Ways to Fight for Joy in a Difficult Marriage

July 31, 2018 by jstults Leave a Comment

When a marriage relationship is difficult, finding joy in the midst of painful moments feels nearly impossible.

How can we possibly experience real joy in the face of real suffering?

Ongoing marriage problems can wear a wife down to a place of discouragement and grief. The burden often feels too heavy to bear. Even women who are determined to be warrior wives, who fight for marriage like only women of faith can, who fight for joy in everyday moments, feel the weight of the battle for their marriage.

Where is joy when you’re weary and in need of rest?

Here are 3 Biblical Ways to Reclaim Joy in a Difficult Marriage

Recognize progress.

One strategy Satan uses often to discourage me in a rough patch is the sneaky little lie that my marriage will always be difficult. He tries to convince me and you, too, that things will never change.

If you believe that you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes, to remain stuck in the same destructive patterns, then where is your hope? What motivation do you have to keep working toward a healthy marriage?

Do you see how that works, friend? Believing those lies saps us of our strength!

Fight back against the Enemy’s lies and reclaim your hope and joy in the Lord by learning how to recognize progress.

Yes, maybe today even basic communication felt like nails on a chalkboard, but was it as bad as a few months ago? How about a few years ago?

Ask the Lord to help you see the ways in which your marriage relationship is changing, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Claim the promise of Philippians 1:6 for yourself, and if your husband is a believer, then claim it for him, too.

Quit believing the lie that your marriage is forever doomed, and fight for joy!

Please join me over at the Reclaiming Joy in Marriage online marriage event to read the rest of this article! Here you’ll find 31 days of marriage encouragement from a variety of writers – all for FREE!

Jen 🙂

When It Is Hard to Believe Jesus

March 12, 2018 by jstults 1 Comment

My Good friend and fellow writer, Aimee Imbeau is joining us with these words today:

She was shocked by my words. And a little frightened. If it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone. That was her understanding, anyway. Probably because I was known for my strong faith.

Friends would say, “When Aimee prays, things happen”. Well, nothing was happening now. In fact, I believed that God was purposely choosing to ignore me.

Yeah, I knew He could help me. He could easily change my circumstances. Making things better would be super easy for Him. It wasn’t that I did not believe He couldn’t. I believed He didn’t want to. Maybe this is something that sounds familiar to you today. Perhaps you just don’t know what to do When It’s Hard To Believe Jesus. If so, you are in the right place.

Not believing Jesus is a very difficult season to be in, friend. It’s even harder when you try to explain how you are feeling and no one seems to understand. They seem to think you are the creator of your circumstances and you have the power to change if you only…

Read your Bible more
Trust God more
Have more faith
Just try harder
Suck it up
That’s life
God gives and God takes away
Keep praying

It’s like it is entirely up to us and our efforts to believe. And it is entirely our fault if we find it hard to believe. The trite advice is not only unhelpful, but also potetnially damaging.

If we only realized the truth, then maybe these seasons of life would be just a little bit smoother. Maybe we wouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. We would stop believing that we have failed or that there is something wrong with us. Perhaps we would begin to understand that it is in these challenging seasons that our faith is built up.

Losing My Faith

When I believed that God was holding out on me, I thought I was actually losing my faith. The truth was that my faith was weak – not as strong as people had thought – or what I thought. God wanted me to have an unmovable, unshakable faith. And in order to do that, the old faith had to go. The process took time, but I can tell you now that my faith today is much more mature. Our God is in the business of rebuilding, renovating, and re-purposing our faith. Trust Him in this process. It might look messy as any renovation does, but the end result will be beautiful.

If you are struggling with your faith, trust that He is rebuilding it.

Be Careful What You Believe

There was a popular Christian saying that went something like, “If you feel far from God, guess who moved“. I thought maybe, somehow, I inadvertently moved away from Him. I wasn’t sure how I did it – maybe I didn’t study my Bible enough or pray longer prayers. It took me a while, but eventually, I came to see just how unbiblical that statement was. So often, we hear these things that sound good but simply aren’t true. But they influence our faith, and not for the better. We need to be very careful with whom we listen to, whom we believe.

If you are struggling with your faith, be careful whom you believe.

Not A Surprise To God

God knew we would struggle with our faith. He knew we would have seasons where believing Him would be difficult for us. He expected this. That’s why He had John write his gospel account. The whole purpose of the book of John is for us to strengthen our faith and belief in Jesus.

Did you know that?

God loves us so much that He took the necessary steps to help us believe Him at His word.

God knew we’d struggle so the book of John was to confirm and secure Christians in our faith. He has given us what we need to build up our faith in Him.

Our God is so good to have done this for us.

If you are struggling with your faith, read the book of John and believe.

The Truth

As I matured in my faith and God rebuilt my trust in Him, I began to see the truth. My faith was not dependent upon how I was feeling or on my circumstances. In fact, it had nothing to do with me at all. My faith has everything to do with Him. He promises to never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5). He promises to hear and answer my prayers (Psalm 139:1-4, 1 John 5:14-15, 2 Chronicles 7:14, Jeremiah 29:12). And He has good and wonderful plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 1:18, Mark 10:29-30, Philippians 1:6). What a relief it is that I don’t have to strive or work harder to maintain my faith. I just have to choose Him.

I’d like to leave you with Natalie Grant’s new song, More Than Anything. May her words speak deep into your heart today.

If this is a topic you want more guidance in, I have written a study on the book of John called Believe. This study includes video, worksheets, charts, verse cards, Bible reading challenge, and more.

Aimee is a home educating support teacher who lives in the sunny Okanagan, BC. Aimee has been blissfully married since 1998 and she still swoons at the sight of her tall, dark and handsome husband, Marcus. When she isn’t home educating her 3 kids, she enjoys sewing, quilting, scrapbooking, baking, writing and hanging out with her family. Aimee is a certified teacher who works from home, supporting and encouraging homeschool families. She blogs over at A Work of Grace. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.

For the Wife Who’s Not in Love Anymore

February 1, 2018 by jstults 6 Comments

I’m just not in love anymore.

It’s a phrase we hear often enough, a phrase that’s no longer attached to any one generation in particular. In fact, wives who have been married for decades are just as likely to utter these words as those who’ve only been married a short time.

I’m not in love anymore.

I’m sure the words pain you as much as they pain me because I remember a time when the same thought reverberated through my heartstrings.

Yes, me, a pastor’s wife who once upon a time fell madly in love with an enthusiastic young youth minister, only to quickly learn that marriage wasn’t all happily-ever-after wedded bliss.

We struggled off and on for the better part of a decade before learning how to consistently enjoy being married to each other!

But I’m not in love anymore, and my husband isn’t in love with me either, what else can I possibly do?

Personally, I have some strong feelings about those words because I have learned that real love, true love is a choice, not a feeling – despite what our me-first culture would have us believe.

However, let’s set aside my personal feelings for now and dive right into what the Word of God has to say on the issue.

6 Essential Scriptures about Love:

1. According to scripture, our hearts are deceitful. We cannot trust the feeling of being not in love anymore.

Feelings come and go, sometimes without rhyme or reason, so we cannot trust our hearts to lead us in God’s ways. Instead, we must rely on what we know to be true, and we find such truth in His Word.

“The heart is deceitful above all thing and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

2. God’s Word reveals that loving each other isn’t an option, it’s a command!

Whether or not we feel like loving our spouses, God expects us to love them in our choices.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 (NIV)

3. According to the Bible, agape love is the kind of love that sacrifices self in favor of another.

Jesus gave us the greatest example of agape love at the cross.

We are to follow Jesus’ example in living out that kind of sacrificial love. Agape love might be as simple as making a meal for your spouse, or ironing his clothes, or as difficult as keeping silent even when a spouse is wrong.

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13 (NIV)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

So how do we know what God expects from us in living out agape love? After all, no one wants to be a doormat!

We must abide in Him and be sensitive to the Spirit, who will guide us when conflicts arise.

The next time the Spirit nudges you to do that kind thing for a loved one, pay attention and choose to obey even if you don’t feel like it!

4. The infamous love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) reminds us that God has high standards for what real love looks like.

According to these verses, we can be obedient in so many other areas, but without love, all of those good works are meaningless!

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (NIV)

5. God’s Word claims that if we don’t love others, then we don’t really know God – ouch!

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (NIV)

6. **We are capable of loving others** (even when we don’t feel like it) because Christ loved us first!

Sometimes we’re tempted to doubt this truth. We wrongly believe that we cannot love our spouses, when in fact, we have all power to do just that in Christ!

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 (NIV)

Even when the loving feelings just aren’t there, we can choose to act on the very real love that flows from Jesus.

We choose love out of gratefulness for what Christ has done for us.

*This page contains affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thank you for supporting the ministry of Being Confident of This!

After all, I’m not perfect, and neither are you, yet Christ loved us at our very worst when we were unlovable, unworthy, enslaved to sin. We can and should demonstrate that same Christ-like love toward our spouses, even when they’re wrong, even when they are at their worst.

Friends, I know biblical love is not an easy standard to live up to. I fail so often in my own life!

I know the frustration of living in a broken marriage. I know the despair of feeling like things will never change.

I know the sorrow of feeling I’m not in love anymore.

But I also know the joy of seeing the Father change my own heart, as well as my husband’s heart. I know the joy of renewed hope.

I even know the joy of rekindled feelings when we got to the sweet spot of marriage, the “for better” that waited for us on the other side of the “for worse.”

So you’re not in love anymore – that may be true.

Your feelings may have changed, but God’s Word is clear: love is a command, a choice, and the power to love comes not from our feelings but from Christ alone.

Let me encourage to choose love today, and when you do, may you reap the rewards that are promised!

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 (NIV)

Above all, don’t give up hope that your marriage can change. Let that change begin with you.

As my gift to you to encourage you along those lines, I’m offering the lovely printable below to all subscribers! Just fill in your information and look for your confirmation email (be sure to check the spam folder if you don’t see it right away).

Please remember that you are not alone, my friend. Fellow warrior wives have lived in these same trenches and have won the battle for healthy marriage by God’s design. And the Lord your God is with you in all things!

Jen 🙂

For further reading: I Didn’t Want My Husband Anymore

How to Seek Peace in the Holiday Hustle

December 19, 2017 by jstults Leave a Comment

I stared at the half-dangling greenery, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

Laundry waited to be washed, presents waited to be purchased and wrapped.

My work schedule was full and our family calendar even more full.

I wanted this Christmas to be different than last year’s holiday. I wanted to really savor the season, but I felt like I was failing.

Where was the peace I longed for?

How was I missing it? Where was I going wrong?

Because the overwhelming emotion ruling my heart lately was an awful lot of stress.

Like the world before Christ’s birth, I felt the reality of “sin and error, pining.”

Between book writing, and client work, and church-planting, and home life, it often seems like there just aren’t enough hours in a day.

But I need some peace.

I need to savor this season because I’ve had oh-so-many reminders this year, friends, that our time here on earth is short, our days and hours and minutes never guaranteed.

And as our oldest son prepares to head out into the world, I feel that reality all the more keenly.

So, how do we make the most of Christmas without becoming burdened and overwhelmed?

How do we truly seek peace without creating additional stress by adding another thing to the to-do list ?

4 Meaningful Ways to Find Peace in the Holiday Hustle

1. We put first things first for peace in the holiday hustle.

When I feel overwhelmed, I can often pinpoint one of the root causes as a lack of consistent quiet time. Whenever my calendar gets too full, my time with Jesus often becomes less and less. This is a reality we must guard against, friends.

We may even be tempted to justify spending less time in His presence because we’re spending time doing advent activities with our family, attending extra church services, and so forth.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. John 15:4

Truthfully, nothing can take the place of that one-on-one time with Emmanuel, the God who came to be with us.

We’re literally starving our souls when we neglect this most important relationship, and we will reap the fruit of that neglect in our lives. Stress, lack of motivation, discontent, worry, impatience – all can be indicators of a spiritual problem.

A return to right priorities goes a long way toward helping us regain peace in the holiday hustle!

2. We content ourselves with “good enough” for peace in the holiday hustle.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but perfect holidays don’t exist in reality.

When we fail to reign in our expectations for what a “good Christmas” entails, we set ourselves up for failure every time!

I have to continually remind myself this year that some is better than none.

Some exercise is better than no exercise.

Some Christmas baking is better than no Christmas baking.

Some advent devotions with the kids is better than no advent.

Some planning is better than no planning. You get the idea. 🙂

It’s all about showing yourself some grace. After all, would your husband and children rather have lots of Christmas goodies but a stressed-out, grumpy mama, or would they prefer less treats and a mama who is at peace? I can guarantee mine would choose the latter every time.

I cannot have a perfect Christmas, and neither can you, friend. Let’s just toss that impossible notion right out into the cold.

What we can have is a meaningful, peaceful Christmas, and that happens when we slow down and savor the season.

3. We pray for peace in the holiday hustle.

It seems to me that the Enemy works overtime during the Christmas season. As we plan and prepare to celebrate Christ’s birth with our loved ones, he’s planning for our destruction.

But we need not fear his tactics, friends, because his power is limited while our God’s power is limitless. In Christ, we have the power to resist temptation, to choose peace, to choose kindness, to choose love, and all of the other fruit of the Spirit.

Ask the Father for a special covering this Christmas. I know I will be asking the same for our household – that God’s peace will rule our home, that we will be free to joyfully celebrate Jesus’ birth, that we will be free to enjoy loved ones and gift giving and delicious food, and so on.

Peace, Father, give us peace this Christmas!

I’ll be asking for all of these things that I might be able to give God the glory for the kind of supernatural peace that can only come from Him, and trusting that His peace is already ours to claim. 🙂

4. We seek scripture to give us peace in the holiday hustle.

I can’t tell you how often the Spirit brings a verse to mind that I’ve previously memorized just when I need it most. I’m certain you know what I mean, friends.

God’s Word brings us peace through His promises and His guidance.

So when I was thinking of you all, faithful friends and readers, and wondering what small gift I might be able to give you this Christmas, I thought of what busy women needed most during the holidays.

Peace.

If you’re already on my subscriber list, you should have received a link to the printable below in your inbox. But if you’re new here, just fill in your information at the bottom of this article to access all of our free resources, as well as join the list for encouraging monthly newsletters.

Above all, take time to seek real peace this Christmas.

The best Peace you’ll ever find came to Earth as a mere babe thousands of years ago, just so He might know us. If you’ve never accepted the gift of His love and salvation, you can do so today. Just cry out to Jesus.

Lay down your burdens.

And let Christ give you peace.

Jen 🙂

What I Learned from Our Christmas Light Fight and the God Who Is “With You”

December 11, 2017 by jstults 9 Comments

This week I received a not-so-subtle reminder of how Christmas used to be around our house. It started out as an unnamed tension, a small inkling that something just wasn’t right between us.

Eventually, my frustration grew, and with it the realization that my husband and I were quickly heading down a path that neither one of us wished to revisit – the path of Christmas past.

In years past, unresolved issues often flared during the holiday season with the pressure of family functions and high expectations for extra quality togetherness.

Christmas expectations tend to create an unhealthy, doomed-to-fail attitude in my husband who struggles with baggage from the past.

Add to that my equally destructive tendency toward perfectionism (also heightened by Christmas expectations) and desire for magical family moments, and… well… you can imagine the disappointment when things don’t go as planned.

The Christmas Light Fight

It took a strand of Christmas lights for me to finally experience the “Aha!” moment we desperately needed.

Because every single year we argued over those stinkin’ Christmas lights!

Why, why, why?!

Why argue over something so silly and insignificant?

Because we’re different.

My husband is a get-‘er-done, looks-good-enough-to-me kind of guy while I’m a detail-oriented, slightly OCD perfectionist.

His goal was to get the job done quickly while mine was to get the job done right!

And at Christmastime, of all times, I felt we should be on the same page (which, if I’m honest, really meant I believed he should get on my page). 😉

One year, we found a way around the seemingly inevitable Christmas light argument. Somehow, we managed to work together to get the lights on the tree without losing patience with each other.

It was our very own Christmas miracle!

Not only that, but we also managed to discuss a plan for the outdoor lights that we both agreed upon, and my husband carried out to near perfection.

That Christmas certainly wasn’t perfect, but it demonstrated real progress.

Sometimes, friends, we focus so intently on the standard, on where we desire to be, on the relationship that we desperately long for, that we fail to see the small steps that have carried us away from where we were.

When that happens, when we fail to see the progress, we wrongly believe that we’re stuck, doomed to repeat patterns of failure that we’re sick and tired of repeating.

Like our annual Christmas light fight.

Christmas Expectations & The Enemy

The truth is that Christmas, for all of its joy and light, is also a season of added stress – financial stress, relational stress, physical stress, and mental stress.

It’s enough stress to downright break an already limping marriage relationship like the straw that broke the camel’s back.

For women in particular, we often expect our husbands to be even more family-oriented during holiday seasons.

I can’t believe he’s acting like this at Christmas!

Doesn’t he love me enough not to ruin my holiday?

Can we get just one day without his selfishness – for the kids?!

Our unrealistic Christmas expectations provide fertile ground for the Enemy’s seeds of discontent.

Believe me when I say that the Enemy is keenly aware of the opportunity that added Christmas expectations provides, and he is quick to pounce on every opportunity to grow bitterness and resentment in our hearts, even during, no especially during the season of light.

It must make him incredibly angry to see families working together to decorate their homes in anticipation of the celebration of Christ’s birth.

It must make him seethe with hatred to see the love and joy we experience in the act of giving to one another in honor of the Greatest Gift.

He must burn with rage to see families gathered around to listen to God’s Word, His love story come to life in the babe called Jesus, the God sent to earth to be “with us.”

No wonder he attacks families during the Christmas season.

There’s so much joy that he is determined to steal all that he can, and sometimes… sometimes we let him.

Friends, don’t let your Christmas expectations diminish your joy this year.

The Setup for Christmas Success

Instead of setting yourself up for Christmas failure, set yourself up for success by:

Lowering expectations. Be realistic! (will the Christmas light setup really matter in years to come? Or that perfect family photo – you know, the one where everyone is smiling but you remember the true feelings that reigned that day).
Focusing on progress rather than perfection. (even baby steps are still steps in the right direction!)
Recognizing the Enemy’s attempts to steal your Christmas joy.
Keeping your mind stayed fast on the hope you have in Christ, the God who is with you!

Don’t let the sorrow of broken relationships or life’s hardships eclipse the light of the Savior’s birth.

After all, He came to be the God who is with us in all our brokenness, in all our sorrow and joy and love and frustration and messiness and wild beauty.

He came to be with us.

That’s the hope we have to offer you this Christmas season, that your God is the God who is “with you.” He never leaves you nor forsakes you, even when you disappoint yourself and your spouse by arguing over Christmas lights.

The God Who Is With You

He loves you with an everlasting love, even when you miss the first fourteen days of your advent plan.

He delights in you even when you fail time and time again.

He lavishes new mercies every morning upon you when you’ve spent half the night worrying about whether or not you and your spouse will make it.

He strengthens you to keep fighting for the healthy, abundant-life kind of marriage that He designed you to experience from the beginning.

He is the God who is with you.

Emmanuel.

And according to His word, nothing can separate you from his love, not even the prowling Enemy.

Believe in His promises today, friend. Cling to the hope that you are not alone!

When those dark thoughts and temptations enter your mind, just whisper His name – Jesus…Jesus…Jesus…

and remember He is the God who is with you, the ultimate, life-giving Gift!

This post contains affiliate links. Jen is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Jen also participates in affiliate programs for other trusted products. Thank you for helping to support the ministry of this blog!

Hope for Wives This Christmas

Friends, we know the holiday season is rough on marriages, even healthy ones. But it’s especially hard on marriages that have nearly reached the breaking point. We know wives and spouses who are living unloved experience an intense loneliness and sadness during Christmas.

So, as a gift to you, my co-author Rebekah Hallberg and I have scheduled a special one-week Kindle countdown sale on our book, Hope for the Hurting Wife – a 30 day devotional for encouragement in your marriage. (UPDATE: This is last year’s sale and has now passed)

What better gift can we give than the gift of knowing you are not alone, and that real Hope is within your grasp?

It’s the only kind of hope that is guaranteed not to put us to shame!

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5

If you’re living in a broken relationship, if you are a wife who is hurting this holiday season, I encourage you to pick up this book, especially while it’s so affordable. Or maybe you know a fellow wife who is doing her best to fight for her marriage? Give her the gift of Hope this Christmas.

Please don’t delay because the nature of the countdown sale is that the price increases incrementally as time passes.

Our greatest desire is that no wife should go through this Christmas feeling alone and hopeless!

Whatever your circumstances, choose to celebrate the hope of the God who is with you.

Let’s share that message around this season!

Jen 🙂

P.S. My lovely and brave author friend Kaylene Yoder is also “birthing” these babies (below) into the world today. If you’re looking for more marriage and parenting encouragement, please check out her prayer journals! Harness the power of prayer to change your most important family relationships.

For When You Just Want to Give Up

July 7, 2017 by jstults 15 Comments

It was bound to happen eventually.

I didn’t really have much experience to go on, but it felt like maybe the honeymoon was over, like maybe I just want to give up already.

Like all new ventures in life, blogging was fascinating and exciting at first.

Every page view was cherished, every comment celebrated.

Some days I would check the blog first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. It’s the truth; I became just a tiny bit obsessed.

Maybe, just maybe, I even made an idol of it, to my shame.

Then somewhere along the line, the new thing stopped being quite so much fun and started to feel more like work, like just another burden to carry.

Some people may say, it’s just a blog – let it go! But it’s not “just a blog” to me. These words are part of me that I’ve put on display for the world to see. And there are these nifty little graphs that measure that part of me day by day by day…

And some days they just don’t measure up to what I’d like to see.

Even when they do measure up, no matter how high the bars of the graph reach, there’s this insatiable desire for more.

And the inspiration isn’t always there.

And busy schedules get in the way.

And sometimes…

I just want to give up.

Let’s be honest – it happens to all of us!

When that new baby comes home smelling so sweet, and everyone is exclaiming “how perfect”…

when that new job is so exciting that you just can’t wait to go to work, and people tell you how happy they are to have you there…

when that new ministry that you’ve been planning for and dreaming of finally comes to fruition…

when you make that purchase that you’ve been saving up for and it’s just. so. amazing….

when that mountaintop experience leads you to a faith-high that just can’t be matched…

Inevitably, a valley follows, and you just want to give up.

That perfect baby that slept so well in the hospital cries all night long, night after endless night.

That new job has its own set of challenges. That new ministry has flaws, too.

That new purchase grows old or outdated.

Thus the mountain gives way to a valley, and those feelings that had us on cloud nine dissipate like mist burned off by the morning sun, so we wish for more.

But friends, our lives are not lived just on the mountain tops. In fact, those mountain tops most likely add up to a very small part of our faith journey here on Earth.

The truth is that the valleys often naturally follow the mountains, not because anything has changed but because our physiology is built that way.

Our bodies cannot sustain a constant state of “high,” so we must experience a “low” to bring us back to equilibrium. Perhaps even more because we were not meant for this imperfect world, so we yearn for something better.

While I know that my faith isn’t meant to be built on feelings, as a woman emotions do come into play! How often I’ve wished those pesky emotions away even though I know they serve a purpose. 🙂

So what’s a girl to do when she just gets a case of the blahs and the honeymoon seems to be over?

What’s a girl to do when her daily refrain becomes “I just want to give up”?

She recognizes the valley for what it is – temporary.

She remembers that she is not a citizen of this world.

She blogs/serves/works/mothers anyways because that’s what God led her to do. She loves anyways, she trusts anyways, she clings to His promises anyways, she speaks truth anyways, she leads anyways, and she hopes anyways.

She keeps seeking.

Sometimes she even stumbles and falls, and she’s so ashamed of her weakness. But He’s right there to help her back up again.

Along the way, she learns a little more of the unfathomable depth of God’s grace. She grows a little more confident in an overwhelming, unconditional love. She grows a little more confident in His timely provision. She grows a little more confident in the work He’s doing within her.

Because He promised that one day, one glorious day, that work would be complete (Phil. 1:6).

On that day the valleys will cease to exist.

And the mountain top lasts for all eternity.

And we see His face.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Heb. 12:1-3

When we just want to give up, we don’t.

So we wait, like so many others before us,

And we do not lose heart.

Jen 🙂

6 More Benefits of Studying God’s Word

6. One of the most important benefits of studying God’s Word is that it gives us life (both spiritual AND physical)!

7. Studying God’s Word also helps us to grow in faith and in Christ-likeness.

8. Another benefit of studying God’s Word is that as we mature, we can lead others in truth, too!

9. Studying the Word also helps us to fight spiritual battles and experience victory!

10. The Bible gives us peace and hope.

11. Finally, spending time studying God’s Word helps us produce spiritual fruit.

6 Ways to Set Goals with Confidence

1. Surrender to God’s plan for your life.

2. Consider your unique spiritual gifts.

3. Consider your past preparation.

4. Pray for godly desire.

5. Create a plan.

6. Take the first step.

7 Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

Adjust your expectations.

2. Rest in your work-in-progress status.

3. Guard against strife in your marriage.

4. Focus on what your family really needs most.

5. Let go of Holiday guilt!

6. Look for peace in the right places.

7. Be prepared.

The Holiday Hypocrite

For a few days, God and I were barely on speaking terms.

So, I confess: I’ve been a Holiday Hypocrite.

Here are 3 Biblical Ways to Reclaim Joy in a Difficult Marriage

Losing My Faith

Be Careful What You Believe

Not A Surprise To God

The Truth

6 Essential Scriptures about Love:

1. According to scripture, our hearts are deceitful. We cannot trust the feeling of being not in love anymore.

2. God’s Word reveals that loving each other isn’t an option, it’s a command!

3. According to the Bible, agape love is the kind of love that sacrifices self in favor of another.

4. The infamous love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) reminds us that God has high standards for what real love looks like.

5. God’s Word claims that if we don’t love others, then we don’t really know God – ouch!

6. We are capable of loving others (even when we don’t feel like it) because Christ loved us first!

4 Meaningful Ways to Find Peace in the Holiday Hustle

1. We put first things first for peace in the holiday hustle.

2. We content ourselves with “good enough” for peace in the holiday hustle.

3. We pray for peace in the holiday hustle.

4. We seek scripture to give us peace in the holiday hustle.

Above all, take time to seek real peace this Christmas.

The Christmas Light Fight

Christmas Expectations & The Enemy

The Setup for Christmas Success

The God Who Is With You

Hope for Wives This Christmas

Inevitably, a valley follows, and you just want to give up.

6. **We are capable of loving others** (even when we don’t feel like it) because Christ loved us first!