5 Tips for Being a Confident Warrior Wife

April 5, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

I clearly remember sitting in front of our new marriage counselor, my face burning with both embarrassment and anger. Within the first few minutes of meeting, it became clear to me that he had already assumed that I wasn’t walking with the Lord. In truth, I was a confident warrior wife, determined not to give up!

If only he knew the time I spent searching the Word for comfort and wisdom. If only he knew the time I spent confessing my own sin and inviting the Lord to search my heart, the time I spent in prayer for both myself and my husband, begging the Lord to intervene.

If only he knew… perhaps he would have been more gentle and less presumptive.

Goodness knows those hinted at accusations were true of me in the past, but praise the Lord, I had changed as a wife.

Nevertheless, I began to question myself. His suggestions played right into my perfectionism as I wondered – maybe I haven’t prayed enough? Maybe my faith isn’t strong enough? Maybe I’m really not a good enough wife and that’s why our marriage is struggling?

These are questions many Christian wives struggle with!

How can a Christian wife know she is doing her best? How can she be a confident warrior wife who perseveres, one who fights for her marriage?

Fighting for a healthy marriage may feel like an impossible task, friend, and it is if we try to fight in our own strength. But let’s not forget that we who are in Christ belong to the God of the impossible.

Lately I’ve been reading through the Chronicles, and I’m impressed with the number of times God helped his people overcome enemies, even when outnumbered! Often, God’s people didn’t even have to go into battle because the Lord went before them and destroyed their enemies in miraculous ways.

A confident warrior wife is one who remembers her strength doesn’t come from herself, but from her Almighty God!

A confident warrior wife exercises her faith daily – not perfectly, but persistently. She prepares for battle in very specific ways.

Follow me over to my friend and co-author Rebekah Hallberg’s site for 5 Tips on How to Be a Confident Warrior Wife.

I’m also sharing some encouragement for times when God doesn’t intervene and a marriage fails.

6 Ways to Set Goals with Confidence

December 31, 2018 by jstults 1 Comment

I’ve felt the familiar tension and resisted it all day long. I know what I should do, what a part of my being wants to do, yet I don’t do it. Setting new goals is easier to avoid.

It’s the tension between the old-in-sin me and the new-in-Christ me, the self-centered, lazy, fearful me and the Christ-focused, hard-working, confident me.

I know who I want to be, friends, but the distance between who I am today and the Christ-confident woman I want to be stretches out before me like a road in the desert that only ends when it meets the horizon.

The task seems impossible, yet I know I serve the God of the impossible.

And hasn’t He proven Himself faithful time and time again in my own life? Each fear-inducing challenge came with the grace to persevere: each one followed by unexpectedly beautiful rewards worth so much more than the sacrifice required for obedience.

So why this goal-setting angst?

I know the truth yet my feelings lead me astray. I’m a stubborn, helpless, rebel whose only hope is Christ!

Praise God He loves me enough to keep molding me.

He pursues me even when I run and hide in fear like Eve did so long ago. He creates a restlessness in my spirit that causes me to yearn for more – more Christ-likeness, more knowledge of Him, more surrender to His plans, more freedom to be who He created me to be!

Do you want it, too, friend?

Do you long to walk into the New Year with confidence in God’s direction, with focus, with purpose?

6 Ways to Set Goals with Confidence

1. Surrender to God’s plan for your life.

To be capable of discerning God’s direction and claiming the confidence that comes only from Him, you must first surrender your very life to His plan for you.

This begins with salvation, friend. You cannot follow God if you don’t have an authentic relationship with Him. You cannot claim His promises if you don’t first belong to Him.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 (NIV)

Do you know Jesus on a personal level? Are you confident in your salvation? If not, you can be today!

Don’t waste another year chasing dreams that aren’t meant for you. Instead, find your real purpose in Christ!

You can set goals with confidence when you learn to see yourself as a new creation in Christ!

2. Consider your unique spiritual gifts.

Scripture is clear that each of us Christ-followers have been gifted by the Spirit for the building up of God’s body, the Church. One practical way to understand who God created you to be is to take a spiritual gifts test or inventory. In fact, I recommend taking several so that you can gain a clear picture of your top few gifts. You may be surprised by what you learn!

Learning my own spiritual gifts has given me the confidence to use them for God’s glory rather than sitting back and waiting for someone else to tell me who I am supposed to be.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

Whether you currently believe it or not, friend, you have your own spiritual gifts, and they are much needed in your local body of believers!

Set goals with confidence by understanding the spiritual gifts you have today.

3. Consider your past preparation.

When I look back over my life as whole, I see the ways in which God has prepared me for the tasks God has given me today. Like a beautiful tapestry, the threads of my unique experiences weave in and out of one another to create a beautiful work of art.

Years spent waiting prepared me for leading women’s ministry today. Missionary kid experiences gave me a heart for the lost essential to our current church-planting journey.

Even the pain-filled years become connecting threads in the hands of the Master Weaver.

God has a plan for you that is not new to Him. It’s been His plan from even before you formed in the womb. The experiences you’ve had, the challenges you’ve faced – these things helped mold you into the person you are today.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

Look back at the road you have traveled, friend, and see if that path, coupled with your spiritual gifts gives you insight into where God is leading you today.

Set goals with confidence by remembering the progress you’ve already made!

4. Pray for godly desire.

Our God amazes me. He isn’t content with second-best for me, neither is He content with second-best for you, friend. I remember the year that I didn’t want persevere to be my one word because it sounded like hardship to me. But what a year that turned out to be!

The more I learn about His character and grow in His likeness, the more I realize that His challenges are worth tackling. His rewards far outweigh the sacrifice and suffering often required.

Yes, following hard after Christ requires cost. (Matthew 16:24-24) I won’t lie to you about that.

I won’t tell you to ask God for health and prosperity and successful relationships in the New Year because I won’t presume to know that’s what is best for you.

Sometimes God’s best doesn’t look good at all to our human eyes. We’d rather avoid pain, suffering, and hard work, let’s be honest!

After all, how can losing a loved one possibly be good for us? How can illness benefit? How is loss of income or possessions in our favor?

I’m sure the disciples asked the same when their Greatest Hope hung dying on the cross. How could such a death be part of God’s eternal plan? Yet it was!

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 (NIV)

Ask Father God to give you godly desires, friend, but also to give you a willing heart that accepts whatever path He deems best, even if that path requires hardship. When you pursue His desires for you, you can be confident that He WILL establish your steps.

Pray for a sensitivity to the Spirit before you sit down to set goals, then set goals with confidence by trusting God to answer that prayer!

5. Create a plan.

How often have you set a goal or made a New Year’s resolution that utterly failed? (both hands raised meekly over here, too!)

When the excitement of the New Year or new habit wears off and our fresh start begins to feel like a lot of hard work, we either persevere or we grow discouraged.

At this point in your journey, a solid plan makes all of the difference between success and defeat!

If you know that following steps a, b, and c will get you to the end zone, then it’s easier to push through those pesky plateaus. However, if you don’t have a solid plan in place, you’re likely to give up when the going gets tough.

*This site makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thank you for supporting the ministry of this Being Confident of This!

This is why I continue to use and recommend Grace Goals by Arabah Joy. Grace Goals begins with a biblical foundation (beginning with prayerful consideration of God’s direction) and builds on that using practical tools for success (like planning sheets, evaluations, etc.), all the while teaching you how grace motivates real and lasting change!

It has become my go-to tool for making concrete plans to successfully complete projects God lays on my heart (including the latest book, Being Confident of This), and this year I’m planning to use it to make some changes in my habits (like learning to prioritize my schedule/say yes and no to the right things and possibly working on some healthier habits, too).

I know from experience that going through the Grace Goals workbook process will help me to create a doable plan and protect me from becoming overwhelmed.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

Set goals with confidence by creating a practical plan for success!

6. Take the first step.

There comes a time when Christian women need to quit praying and planning! Yes, you heard me right – quit praying and start obeying.

We often tend to use the “pray about it” excuse as a reason for delayed obedience, which is really dis-obedience. If you’ve prayed about your goals, spent time communing with the Lord in regard to His plans for you, and followed the Spirit’s leading in creating a plan, then at some point, you have to quit praying and planning and start doing.

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. James 2:14-17 (NIV)
If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4:17 (NIV)

It’s not enough to talk about the goals we are setting, to pray about the goals we are setting, or even to write down the goals we are setting if we don’t take that first step of action. In fact, according to scripture, failing to act on what we know God wants is sin, plain and simple.

This is the point in time when your confidence will really be tested!

Is this the right goal for me? Is the timing right? What if my own fleshly desires got in the way and I’m choosing the wrong path? Will the work be too hard?

What happens if I fail?

These questions and doubts will keep you stuck indefinitely if you allow them to, friend! Answer them with what you know to be true about God and who He created you to be.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Review the process you have taken so far and rest in the knowledge that even if you happen to mis-step, He will correct your path! Your Father God hasn’t asked you to take on this new journey on your own. No, He promises to guide and direct you, to give you strength and courage!

Set goals with confidence by following through and taking that first step.

Friend, I firmly believe that Christian women like me (and you) should be more intentional about how we spend our time and the things we choose to pursue in life. When we embrace the work-in-progress in us, we recognize the need to continually partner with the Spirit so we can be molded into who God wants us to be.

We know our time here is limited, so let’s not waste it, amen?

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalm 143:8 (NIV)

As much as fear pulls against you, let God have control over your life this New Year! Let Him determine the path you take. Let His desires become your own, believing that His way is what is best for you and for your family.

Set goals with confidence this year!

Jen 😊

P.S.

Before you go, I’d love to offer you this FREE printable to help you as you sit down to prayerfully consider your plans for the New Year! We like to give all of the best stuff to our faithful subscribers! Just click on the picture below to go to the sign-up form for our newsletter, and you’ll be on your way to your freebie.

If you’re serious about setting godly goals this year, please check out the recommended resource Grace Goals!

Harness the power of grace-filled, Spirit-dependent living in order to see real transformation in your life. If you join through our link by clicking the picture below, we’ll send you a free bonus – The Work In Progress Toolkit!

Just purchase Grace Goals, and send us a copy or screenshot of your receipt along with your best email address for keeping in touch, and we’ll send the first email of your BONUS Toolkit. (NOTE: limited offer valid through January 7th, only)!

What You Need to Know about Your Work-in-Progress Status

October 7, 2016 by jstults 5 Comments

It’s Friday and you’ve survived another week, maybe even another month. Sometimes you wonder how much longer you can keep at it, how much longer you can grind your way through the hard work we call life.

And some days, the hard work defeats us, owns us, and we become less than – less of a wife, less of a mother, less of a daughter of the King, less than we truly desire to be.

We’re tempted then to blame the weariness, the dead weight we’ve been dragging for so long, on our hectic lives.

I’m just too busy.

The phrase slips into my mind so easily, yet I know it’s only a half-truth. Yes, I’ve been busy, but not just with the family schedule. My mind has been busy, too – busy with worries, thoughts, plans, dreams, and even dissatisfaction.

We’re weary women, you and me, and we long for some space to smooth down our frayed edges and quiet our souls, yet we’ve somehow lost the way.

If I’m honest, I have to admit that my biggest problem isn’t my hectic schedule, though. No – the biggest problem is that when my schedule is crazy, my perfectionism and need to control kicks into overdrive. I’m tempted to think if I just work harder and longer, then I can keep myself afloat.

If I just do everything right….

Unfortunately, I’m not perfect and neither are you. No matter how hard we try, we’re bound to fail at something along the way.

And fail, I have.

I’ve been a grumpy mama and a distracted wife. I’ve offended others in my haste and frustration. I’ve neglected to connect to the only Power Source who can really keep me going in the tough times. I’ve been trying way too hard to do something I cannot possibly do on my own, and boy, is it painful!

Why do we do this to ourselves, my sisters in Christ? Why do we expect the impossible rather than resting in what we already know to be true?

~I’m sharing three of my favorite truths to fight against the pull perfectionism over at my friend Kaylene’s blog today. It would make my day if you’d hop on over there to find out what you really need to know about your work-in-progress status (and how to get a freebie)!

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

When You Just Want to Be Left Alone

September 29, 2016 by jstults 2 Comments

The truth is, I just wanted to be left alone. After all, we weren’t getting along, we were bickering about everything – or so it seemed, and the last thing I wanted was to have to spend time with him. I didn’t want his usual greeting of a hug and kiss. I just wanted him to go away.

As I watched him walk away, shoulders drooped due to my cold shoulder, I felt a twinge of guilt and remorse. Then I remembered the stress he’d caused me, the fear he’d brought into our home, and I pushed the guilt aside. This mess was his fault, and he needed to fix it.

Sadly, this has happened too many times in my marriage.

I was the one doing the damage that is warned against in Mark 10:9 –

Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.

It wasn’t someone or something else separating my husband and me. It wasn’t another man or woman, it wasn’t job stress, a crazy boss, or even distance. It was me.

I was letting the enemy come between us through bitterness that I was letting take root in my heart.

One day, out of the blue, my husband texted me to ask if we could start praying together. I was confused because we do pray together.

He listed a few things that he wanted to begin praying about, together, intentionally.

I took my time answering because…I wanted to be left alone.

I wanted to just ignore his request and wallow in my own feelings.

But that’s the thing about a covenant relationship – God gently and lovingly reminded me of my part of the commitment while I sat there telling Him about how my husband broke his part of the commitment.

Despite all that happened, I firmly believe God called me to stay in my marriage, to see my husband get the necessary help he needs, to champion redemption inside these four walls.

And that’s why I had to check my attitude. I could not continue to let the enemy weasel his way into the marriage that I was fighting for. I couldn’t write about redemption and then stand in the way of it.

Despite my feelings, regardless of the fact that I really just wanted to be left alone, I picked up my phone and responded to my husband.

Yes, I will pray with you.
Yes, we’ll pray specifically for the things that you want to pray for.
And yes, we’ll move forward trusting God together.

In order for our marriage to grow together, and actually in order for any marriage to move forward, we have to set self aside. We have to be looking out for the best for our spouse and for our marriage.

I’m thankful for the Lord’s conviction in my life, to gently remind me that selfishness really isn’t going to get me anywhere. Even though I wanted to be left alone, even though I set up barriers to connecting with my husband, the Lord gently worked in our hearts to draw us back together.

Friends, if the Lord is working in your heart in this manner, trust me when I say that it’s better choosing His way. Set aside your feelings, even just for a moment, and let Him work in your heart.

Rebekah has been completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of the Lord in her life. He has proven His faithfulness in every area of her life, especially in her marriage. She has come to understand the power of redemption and God’s work in her own marriage. Her goal is to be Sharing Redemption’s Stories – encouraging wives who are praying for redemption in their marriage.

Look to Jesus: A Review (and giveaway!)

February 9, 2016 by jstults 2 Comments

If someone asked me if I trust God, I’d most likely answer yes, but I haven’t always trusted God in every circumstance. In fact, during certain trials in my life when I felt I was drowning, trust seemed very hard to come by.

I’m certain I have more lessons in trust ahead of me, too.

That’s why Dawn Klinge’s new book Look to Jesus is so important. My friend Dawn recently shared with us about how trusting Jesus is related to the joy we experience, but her book delves even more deeply into the topic of trust.

Klinge’s suggestion to trust God by looking to Jesus sounds so simple on the surface, maybe too simple. However, Klinge takes the reader on a journey to discover how looking to Jesus through various seasons of life leads to a deepening trust, one not easily shaken.

Along the way, Klinge takes time to explain basic doctrines that even seasoned believers may not fully understand, such as the Trinity. I appreciate that the author lays this groundwork because if we don’t understand God’s character or how He operates, then we don’t really know God, do we?

And if we don’t really know Him, how can we trust Him?

In the first few chapters, Klinge rightly points out that we cannot generate trust on our own. She encourages the reader to understand this truth by using her own life experiences.

“I’ve never needed to literally walk on water. But I have had storms in my life. In some of those storms, I’ve kept my eyes on Jesus and in some, I’ve looked around at my circumstances and started to sink – and I’ve called out to Jesus and he has rescued me. He wants to do the same for you.” ~Dawn Klinge, Look to Jesus (pg. 31)

But my favorite part of the book takes place in Chapter 4, when Klinge gets down to the nnitty-gritty of how we become conformed to the image of Christ, yet she also makes an important distinction between legalism and grace. It’s this grace-filled approach which permeates the book that really resonates with me!

Throughout Look to Jesus, Klinge supports her own words with a wealth of Scripture as well as well-chosen quotes from other authors and famous people from all walks of life. The reader will appreciate how the author weaves all of this knowledge into her own story of learning to trust God.

Out of all of the quotes chosen, however, the Oswald Chamber’s quote on page 58 is my favorite because it falls right in line with the purpose of this blog. The point of our faith journey is the process – the work-in-progress of being remade into His image, moment by moment, day by day.

I always enjoy a reminder of my work-in-progress status! 🙂

Another favorite moment took place in Chapter 6 when Klinge speaks to trusting God when life is hard. I applaud Klinge for being brave enough to tackle this issue by sharing from her own pain. I also agree with the author on her conclusion that pain has a purpose, one we cannot realize if we try to deny the pain of a difficult season of life.

More than that, I respect that Klinge points the reader to the truth that Jesus understands human pain because He endured pain himself! Not only does he understand our pain, He wants to sit with us in the midst of it.

What I admire most about Look to Jesus is that any person who reads through the book will find a clear presentation of the gospel and what it means for us. In the final chapter, Klinge writes:

“Think of the high price God paid for you.

You are precious to Him and it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or how terribly you’ve failed – because it’s not about you. It’s about Christ in you. How could we possibly doubt that God would ever give up on us, ever fail us, when we consider what was done to earn our place in His family.” ~ Dawn Klinge, Look to Jesus (p.95)

What better way to close than to remind us that looking to Jesus, trusting God in every circumstance, is rooted in our identity in Christ. He who paid the price for us will not turn away in our times of need!

Although the tone of this book is more conversational in nature than some readers might be used to, the nuggets of truth throughout make it a good read for anyone.

If you haven’t already read Dawn’s book, I hope you’ll take the time to do so.I have no doubt you’ll find wisdom and encouragement that applies to your life.

And if you’d like a chance to win a free copy of Dawn’s book (PDF version), be sure to enter the giveaway below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You can also visit Dawn at her blog, Above the Waves, where she writes on life and faith.

Because of Him,

Jen 🙂

*A proof copy of this book was kindly provided to me by the author for purposes of review. However, all opinions are my own! Also, this post makes use of affiliate links. For more information on the affiliate links used by this blog, visit Being Confident of This’s homepage.
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Sharing with: Grace and Truth,

Learning to Recognize Progress Can Save Your Marriage

February 8, 2016 by jstults 1 Comment

Believe it or not, the whole fight started over a pile of clean laundry. We had just finished family fun night with our children, an evening of homemade, personalized pizzas and fun games and silly antics. After tucking the kids into bed, we were ready for some relaxation, some time to cuddle in front of our recent Netflix favorite.

But as we entered the bedroom, there it sat – a large pile of clean laundry just waiting to be folded.

I sighed.

I hadn’t meant to leave it there all day, but like most moms, I just got busy meeting all. the. needs. So there it sat, and as I flopped down to fold it, I spotted The Face, you know- the one that means your husband is a little miffed even if he doesn’t say anything.

Instead of following my better judgment and ignoring The Face, I immediately took offense.

Why in the world should he get mad at me – at least having laundry on the bed means that we actually have some clean laundry, which is no small feat after the week I’ve had! He should be happy that I managed to squeeze in a few loads here and there today. It’s not like I’m the only one in this house capable of folding laundry, anyways!

He should be thanking me!

Am I right, ladies?!

Of course, that line of self-righteous thinking led to an ill-timed argument, and what could have been a beautiful end to the day quickly degenerated into angry words and hurt feelings…

To find out how learning to recognize progress can save your marriage, join me over at my friend Becky’s blog for the rest of the story!

Sharing this with: Grace and Truth,

5 Methods for Setting Goals Rooted in Faith

December 31, 2015 by jstults 7 Comments

Perhaps you found your way here after evaluating last year’s successes and failures. Perhaps setting goals is new to you, and you’d like a little help. Or perhaps, like me, you hesitate to set real goals in the first place because you’re desperate to avoid any kind of failure.

If you consistently make and break New Year’s resolutions, or if you often find your enthusiasm waning halfway through the year, then these methods for setting goals will help!

5 Methods for Setting Goals

1. Before you make an attempt at setting goals, spend time in prayer.

First, if you have an area of your life that needs improvement, God is probably already nudging you. The best goals are those the Father wills for us, and to remain aligned with His will requires a little soul-searching and time spent praying. If you already have some ideas about goals you should set, ask Him for confirmation!

Second, after you finish setting goals, continue to pray over your God-dependent efforts.

For example, when working on getting healthier last year, I often asked the Lord for strong lungs and strong knees so that I could continue working out. I asked Him to give me the desire to eat right and the desire to exercise. I even asked Him for strength to continue in the middle of some of those workouts.

When I quit praying for those things for a time, I struggled and wasted several months going nowhere.

2. Support your goals with scripture memorization.

Often the Holy Spirit reminds me of verses I have memorized at key moments, such as when I’m tempted, struggling to trust, or avoiding obedience. He even brings to mind verses to encourage me in my efforts.

The more we memorize, the more weapons in our arsenal!

When working on a goal pertaining to a weakness in your life or a desire to achieve something new, find and memorize a few key verses to motivate and encourage you.

And on the heels of scripture memorization…

3. Expect and prepare for opposition.

I’ve mentioned before that as soon as we aim to make positive changes in our lives, Satan is sure to try us. When we finish setting goals, we instantly become walking targets! Doubt easily sets in when we fail to prepare for spiritual warfare.

Even friends or family may unintentionally discourage us because they fail to understand our goals, or perhaps they just don’t agree with them! Either way, if we expect and prepare for rough seas at first, we won’t be easily deterred when storms blow our way.

4. Start with small steps.

Change isn’t easy, especially if you are trying to undo a life-long habit! Even if you’re simply adding a new habit, real change takes weeks – some experts advise 30-40 days or longer.

Don’t be ashamed of your baby steps!

Use the small start to build to bigger changes.

Starting small after setting goals allows you to focus on one thing at a time so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. For example, if your goal is to eat healthier, start by exchanging an unhealthy afternoon snack for a serving of vegetables. Once you’ve mastered that step you can move on to a bigger step.

The verse below comes from the days of rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem. God’s faithful were few in number and faced discouragement at every turn. Theses were His words:

^“Also the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this house, and his hands will finish it. Then you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent me to you. For who has despised the day of small things?” (Zech. 4:8-10a, NASB, emphasis mine)

Don’t despise the day of small things. Instead, celebrate every small victory!

5. Break loose from perfectionism by embracing grace.

I’ve written before about disliking the process of setting goals (and being afraid to get too specific) because I’m afraid to fail. I hate failing! As a perfectionist, I must recognize how this all or nothing mindset limits me.

The only way to break loose from perfectionism’s chains is to view myself as a work-in-progress woman.

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6, NASB)

Rather than avoiding the process of setting goals altogether, I purpose to show myself grace!

I know some current goals are going to be long hauls, especially this weight loss journey. Whereas a setback might have caused me to give up for good previously, with grace in mind I can see the work in progress rather than individual or isolated failures.

* This post makes use of affiliate links. Jen is an affiliate for Grace Goals and will receive compensation for any purchase made through the affiliate links on this blog at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting the ministry of Being Confident of This!

My favorite tool for grace-filled goal-setting:

Do you really want lasting, godly change?

If so, I highly recommend Grace Goals, a new scripture-based goal-setting workshop developed by my friend Arabah Joy (this is my affiliate link).

Grace Goals contains 5 Workshops to help you identify your greatest desires and develop a plan for pursuing them. Grace Goals also targets the tools you need to succeed and (the most important part, in my opinion) helps you understand how faith plays the greatest role in achieving real change!

Here’s what Grace Goals 2019 includes:

year end review sheets
spiritual growth inventory sheets
practical goal planner pages that will help you break your goal into smaller, less intimidating steps
printable pages to help organize your thought
The Grace Goals Workshops workbook – my FAVORITE part and what sets this apart from other goal-setting planners (think Bible study combined with practical tips)

Why Grace Goals?

Because as a pastor’s wife and woman of faith, I appreciate the fact that Arabah Joy takes a biblical approach to goal-setting rather than a worldly approach. In fact, in the very first workshop, Arabah Joy recognizes that no goal is worth pursuing if it hasn’t come from God.

If you’re looking for validation for goals and dreams you have already decided for yourself, then this probably isn’t for you.

On the other hand, if you genuinely want to know what the Lord wants you to focus on and the dreams and desires that come from Him (as scary as that can be sometimes), then you will find Grace Goals very helpful!

In fact, the first time I started Grace Goals, I quit.

It challenged me in unexpected ways, so I tucked tail and ran away scared.

But after falling under conviction, I picked Grace Goals back up, and I’m so thankful. Last year I used Grace Goals and the planning sheets to write and teach a Bible study on discipleship for some of the women in our church, several of whom are now discipling others. To God be the glory!

I used Grace Goals again earlier this year to pray over, plan out, and publish a new devotional I believed God had laid on my heart, Being Confident of This.

As challenging as it may be, I look forward to discovering what God has next for the coming year! 🙂

LIMITED TIME OFFER

This year Arabah Joy is offering 2 of her own bonuses – a spiritual growth plan workshop, as well as a spiritual disciplines and growth binder!

These are limited offers, so be sure to check and see when they expire.

In addition, anyone who purchases through my affiliate links is eligible for a limited time BONUS from me, too – a Work-in-Progress Toolkit. It’s perfect for those of us who struggle with perfectionism, and is designed to be a companion to Grace Goals – to encourage you along the way by addressing obstacles I’ve encountered when attempting to set godly goals.

I know from experience that setting goals can easily be seen as a set-up for failure, so I want to help you learn how having a work-in-progress mindset creates a set-up for success instead!

The Work-in-Progress Toolkit Includes:

a beautiful truth-journaling worksheet that can be printed as many times as you want
high quality 8×10 scripture prints for you to hang around your home
a weekly encouraging email that will help you focus on overcoming those fears and insecurities related to goal-setting

No need to fear the goal-setting process with this grace-filled encouragement in place to help you focus on truth.

To claim your BONUS from me, simply email me your receipt from this year by January 7th and you’ll start receiving your bonuses each week for a month! 🙂

I hope you take advantage of this special offer, friends, because the content here is extraordinary!

Wishing you a fruitful New Year!

Jen 🙂

The Superwoman Myth Resolved

July 5, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

In the first half of The Superwoman Myth, we discussed how the players of self and others contribute to this myth of womanly perfection. Today, we finish with the final player.

The final contributor in the saga of the Superwoman Myth is Satan.

He is the great deceiver and he loves that we fall prey to the myth!

What better way to convince us we are failures than to give us an unattainable goal?

He waits on the sidelines while we struggle and agonize over our own weaknesses, while we look around at all of the women who seem to be living out their faith so much better than we are.

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?! Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

Debunking the Superwoman Myth

It is then that he strikes – in the middle of that doubt and fear that we’re not good enough, maybe even that we’ll never be good enough. He knows that if he can get us to focus on our failures, we’ll take our eyes off of Christ.

1 Peter 5:8 warns,

“Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion

looking for someone to devour.”

But Satan is a liar.

The Father proclaims that we don’t have to be perfect because

Christ.

was.

perfect.

for us.

Amen?! God knows that we are human and that because of sin we are flawed, but the Good News? He chose to love us anyway!

Romans 5:8 testifies,

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When God looks at you, He already sees perfection because of the sacrifice of His Son. That work is already complete!

So, how do we become the best version of ourselves (the one we were created to be), without crossing over into the abyss of worry and guilt that Satan wants us trapped in?

How do we show ourselves grace and avoid falling prey to the Superwoman Myth?

The answer lies in Christ.

We can become the best version of ourselves by abiding in Him, by spending time in His word and in His presence.

It really is that simple.

It’s not in the details of our living, but in the attitude and mindset behind the way we live that matters to the Lord.

When we realize that He purposefully created us with a unique role to fill, we can stop looking down on His creation (self), stop looking around at everyone else, and instead focus on Him and His love for us.

When we relax in His gracious love, we allow Him to do the work necessary to develop Christ-likeness in us. We can be at peace with ourselves knowing that He will continue the work in us and that our Father God already loves us anyway, no matter what!

Now, let’s take a peek back at that one personality flaw we chose during part 1 of the Superwoman Myth. Let me ask you some questions in relation to your flaw.

Did God create you?

In His wisdom, did God create your personality this way?

Consider this: Does God create by accident? Does He create things that are inherently bad? (Think back to the days of Eden.)

No!

Therefore, we can safely assume that the things we dislike most about ourselves are characteristics God intentionally gave to us or allowed us to have.

And …

In their purest, God-given form, those personality “flaws” are not bad.

Yes, personality “flaws” can certainly lead us to sin, but in and of themselves, they are pure, God-given traits meant for our benefit. He give us these traits, perhaps to teach us, maybe even to teach others, and in the process, to bring Him glory.

So, now how do you see your “flaw?”

Is it possible that with Christ’s help your flaw can become the thing of beauty He intends it to be?

I believe so.

That’s why my life verse is Philippians 1:6.

“Being confident in this; he who began a good work in you

will carry it until the day of completion in Christ Jesus.”

My sisters in Christ,

don’t

fall

for

the Superwoman Myth.

Don’t believe the lies from self, others, or Satan.

Instead, listen to the voice of your Creator God, the Father who lavishes His love on you!

He doesn’t ask us to be superwomen.

Instead He just wants us to be the women He created us to be.

Work-in-progress women.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell His Story, Grace and Truth

This is an excerpt from the newly released devotional, Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ.

Through My Grace-Colored Glasses

May 17, 2015 by jstults 18 Comments

Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again. He just won’t leave me alone. He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord.

Some days I can ignore him and others I just can’t seem to escape. And I know it’s Perfectionism and not the Holy Spirit because of his voice. He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different.

You see, my husband and I stayed up much too late because we were arguing about a financial issue.

I felt angry and disappointed and fearful. The familiar panic of how can I possibly do right in this situation and still get my point across welled up within me, and I knew a battle was swiftly approaching.

I know some of you are chuckling right now, and rightfully so!

It’s the quandary every woman who ever lived on the face of Earth deals with: to obey the Lord and demonstrate respect for my husband or to take control and make my voice heard?

God’s way or my way?

When it comes to submitting to and respecting my husband, I so often feel like Paul in Romans chapter 7. I know what I want to do, what I should do, yet I feel powerless to actually do it.

I’ve believed so many lies for so long.

I fail frequently.

But the Lord is faithful, and I’m learning to trust His promises to carry that work in me, in my marriage, until completion in the day of Christ (Phil. 1:6).

Later on after our apologies were spoken and we both felt at peace, we finally turned out the lights in hopes for at least a few hours of sleep.

And that’s when it happened.

In the stillness of the dark, my husband’s voice broke through Perfectionism’s insidious whispers, “Thank you for being so calm and patient with me tonight.”

Stunned, my disbelieving heart rejected his kind words and earlier tears returned in full force.

“But I wasn’t patient!” I agonized. “I was so angry and so disappointed and I struggled, I really struggled, not to say mean and hateful things.” The weight of my own sin and failure hung about my neck.

My husband’s reply was quiet, yet firm, “Babe, even though you were angry, you were patient with me. You didn’t bite my head off. You maintained control. You gave me space and that helped me.”

At that moment, the truth of his words broke through Perfectionism’s grasp. No, I didn’t handle the situation as well as I would have liked; I wasn’t perfect. Yes, there was definitely room for improvement.

Nevertheless, his words rang true. What normally would have developed into a full-fledged, hours-long fight was briefly resolved. By the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, I realized that we were definitely making progress.

That’s when I saw Perfectionism for what he was – one part self, one part Satan.

Self was prideful, Satan was deceitful, and the combination of the two brought me chains of defeat that I no longer wish to carry.

In Perfectionism’s chains, I so often measure in black and white, success or failure, perfect or imperfect.

Praise the Lord that my Redeemer is teaching me to put on my Grace-colored glasses and see the shades of success, to celebrate even the smallest steps of progress, to proclaim every small victory because of His work in me, in us.

I hope I never forget that moment. My husband spoke freeing words to me last night, and the Holy Spirit confirmed them within me.

Daughter, you are the good that you so desperately want to be, not because your efforts are so grand and your reach so high, but because you are walking a path of progress, trusting in the promise of redemption. I never asked you to be perfect, just willing. At the same time, daughter, you are perfect, not in yourself, but in my Son because He already carried these burdens with Him and nailed them to the cross. They died and were buried with Him. But you daughter, you rose with Him in perfection, a new creation, beautiful to behold, born of His glory. And now you no longer live as a slave in Romans 7, but in Romans 8 as more than a conqueror, confident in the promise that you will never be separated from His love!

2 Corinthians 5:17 proclaims, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come. (NASB)”

I don’t think I’ll ever cease to be overwhelmed by such truths, such promises, such magnificent grace. In the midst of my sorrow and my shame, my Savior showed up and handed me a pair of Grace-colored glasses.

Perfectionism, you’re no longer welcome here.

I’m embracing my work-in-progress status

and the grace that has already set me free!

Jen 🙂

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit the Being Confident of This homepage. Thank you for helping to support this blog!

~ You just finished an excerpt from the book Hope for the Hurting Wife by Rebekah Hallberg and Jen Stults, two women who have walked through the valley of troubled marriages and emerged safely on the other side. Their testimonies to God’s presence and hope in the midst of difficulty gives hope to wives who are really struggling not to give up!

Find additional encouraging content in this book:

Sharing with: A Look At the Book, Make Your Home Sing Monday, Tell It To Me Tuesday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Titus 2sdays, Wedded Wednesdays, A Little R&R Wednesdays, Wholehearted Wednesdays, Grace and Truth, Faith Filled Fridays

Comfort Eating ~ Grace and Truth Week 8

March 6, 2015 by jstults 2 Comments

Hello, readers! No doubt you have noticed some changes ’round here. I’m really excited to have the new and improved Being Confident of This up and running in time for this week’s Grace and Truth link-up.

Now, if I could only learn to use the new and improved features well…. Let’s just say it’s a work in progess. It’s a good thing I have excellent blogging friends to help me iron out the kinks! 🙂

Last week I featured two bloggers whose posts really encouraged me, but there was one more that I really wanted to share with you all as well. So, this week I want you to meet Rosilind Jukic from A Little R and R. Since I’ve been sharing about my weight loss journey lately, her post about comfort eating fits right in with that theme. I greatly appreciate her candor about such a personal subject!

The Father has been helping me to follow my healthy living plans more carefully the last week or two and I’m starting to see some success! Isn’t it exciting to see the fruits of your efforts?

Trusting Him to continue the good work,
Jen 🙂

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Follow me over to my friend and co-author Rebekah Hallberg’s site for 5 Tips on How to Be a Confident Warrior Wife.

6 Ways to Set Goals with Confidence

1. Surrender to God’s plan for your life.

2. Consider your unique spiritual gifts.

3. Consider your past preparation.

4. Pray for godly desire.

5. Create a plan.

6. Take the first step.

5 Methods for Setting Goals

1. Before you make an attempt at setting goals, spend time in prayer.

2. Support your goals with scripture memorization.

3. Expect and prepare for opposition.

4. Start with small steps.

5. Break loose from perfectionism by embracing grace.

My favorite tool for grace-filled goal-setting:

Here’s what Grace Goals 2019 includes:

The final contributor in the saga of the Superwoman Myth is Satan.

No!

don’t

fall

for

the Superwoman Myth.

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different.

That’s when I saw Perfectionism for what he was – one part self, one part Satan.

Meet Your Hosts

Satisfaction Through Christ BLOG | FACEBOOK | PINTEREST | TWITTER |G+

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Arabah Joy BLOG | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | PINTEREST | G+

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Arabah Joy
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