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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

For the Wife Who Feels Alone (and a Giveaway!)

July 9, 2018 by jstults 1 Comment

“Sometimes I just feel so alone.”

As the words left my mouth, the weight of them nearly crushed me. Married life had been less than stellar, and I was weary of carrying on the “good fight.”

Add to that fact the isolation that often accompanies marriage problems (because after all, it’s embarrassing to admit you’re struggling, right?), and the loneliness seemed unbearable.

My natural tendency in times like these is to hunker down, hole up, hide away – that’s probably true for any introvert, but I now recognize that this tendency to retreat often leads me to be alone with my thoughts and worries – a dangerous place for any struggling wife to be, introvert or not.

Are you a wife who feels alone?

Sometimes other women ask me what I found most helpful during the dark years of our marriage, and I can honestly say that when I started to realize how NOT alone I was, I began to take heart!

Yet I often hear other women confessing that same struggle. They, too, feel alone in their marriage struggles.

I’m convinced it is one of Satan’s greatest weapons against Christian marriages today. With his persistent voice, he whispers lies like:

Your marriage problems are unique. No one else understands.

It’s because you lack faith – that’s why your marriage is struggling. Something must be wrong with you. 

You’re not a good enough wife. You just need to try harder to be the perfect wife, and then your husband will love you like you want.

And perhaps worst of all he puts the final nail in the coffin of our hope – If you tell anyone else, they’ll know what a failure you are, and your husband’s reputation will be ruined.

You see, friend, if he can convince you to hide your pain and suffering, to keep your mouth shut, he can keep you from the hope and joy you are desperately searching for!

Are you embarrassed to be a struggling wife? Do you often feel alone when facing marriage problems? For the Wife Who Feels Lonely Christian Women | biblical marriage | godly wife | feeling lonely | marriage problems | divorce |staying married | fighting for marriage | Being Confident of This #wife #lonely #encouragement #devotional

When women begin to realize that others out there have lived through and survived (or even thrived) through marriages that fell apart, they see that with God anything is possible. What a blow to the Enemy!

My friend, if you are a lonely wife who is hesitant to let anyone in, know that the truth is you are far from alone!

The God of the universe, your Creator, is with you.

And along with Him, you have thousands of sisters-in-Christ who are standing ground, fighting for their marriages, too.

How might your perspective change if you quit believing the Enemy’s lies and began instead to believe God’s truth?

  • Would believing that God isn’t finished working in your or in your marriage give you strength to persevere?
  • Would believing that He has your best interest at heart give you hope when all hope seems lost?
  • Would trusting in God’s providence and protection keep you secure?

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No marriage is perfect – how can the union of two flawed sinners possibly be? The tactics Satan uses now are the same he used even as far back in the Garden of Eden – anything he can do to separate husband and wife from each other and from God.

He specializes in crafting believable lies meant to lead us away from God’s truth one step of doubt at a time.

Whether you’re experiencing a true marital crisis or just struggling through the loneliness that often follows even a brief disagreement, you have a choice to make.

Truth or lie.

Hope or despair.

Joy or sorrow.

As a follower of Christ, filled by the Holy Spirit and fully equipped for every good work, you have the power to choose!

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 (ESV)

Sweet wife who feels alone, let me offer you some very practical hope.

I’m thrilled to tell you about an important event taking place all month long, (especially since it’s FREE – my favorite!).

During the month of July, you can learn from and be encouraged by other wives through the FREE Joy in Marriage Event, hosted by my friend and fellow marriage blogger, Tiffany at Hope and Joy in Christ.

Tiffany has organized 31 days of marriage encouragement, including daily devotional posts, GIVEAWAYS (over $16,000 of faith resources!!), and even a digital swag bag for those who RSVP on her site!

In addition, as a sponsor for this event, Unveiled Wife has offered a FREE book for each writer who is participating to give away to readers – amazing, right?!
Giveaway! Win a copy of Wife After God by Unveiled Wife during the Joy in Marriage Event this July! #marrige #marriagebook #JoyinMarriage #giveaway Christian Women | Being Confident of This | Bible studies | devotionals | faith resources | marriage event |encouragement | joy   hope

So, first, you need to enter the giveaway below for your chance to win a copy.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Then, trek on over to Tiffany’s place to grab your swag bag and enter more giveaways. (Keep an eye out for Hope for the Hurting Wife while you’re there because Rebekah and I are both contributing a copy!). Every day, Tiffany will be sharing a post from a different blogger related to joy in marriage – how encouraging! 🙂

Finally, please help us spread the word about this event to your friends, family, church family, neighbors – anyone who will listen – so that YOU can be a part of encouraging other wives, too.

Let’s not allow the Enemy to keep us isolated and alone any longer!

No one needs to be a wife who feels alone!

Jen 🙂
Hope for the Hurting Wife - a 30-day devotional to encourage your marriage. Sign up now to grab your free sample chapters! Christian women|marriage help|hope for marriage|free marriage resources|free sample|marriage book|marriage problems|marriage encouragement

 

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: Christian Marriage, hope for the hurting wife, Joy in Marriage Event, lonely wife, marriage encouragement

For the Wife Who Has Lost All Hope (and a Giveaway!)

September 5, 2017 by jstults 56 Comments

Has a book ever touched your life in a way that you knew would forever change you?

Hope for the Hurting Wife has changed me.

From the early years of marriage when I lived out the reality of this book, I’ve seen the hand of God at work in my marriage. It’s a good thing, too, because without His intervention, I probably would have ended up divorced.

Yes, this book has changed me. Writing out your struggles, reliving them for the world to see, is no easy thing. It requires time and patience and lots of shaking-in-my-boots bravery.

As an imperfect wife, I never planned to write about marriage. In fact, I purposefully avoided writing about marriage for quite a while until the Lord convinced me otherwise.

You see, friend, I wanted nothing more than to be the good, Christian girl and the good, Christian wife. But when my life became tainted by sin and doubt and suffering, upholding my good, Christian girl facade became impossible.

And I’m thankful it did.

I’m not the same person I was ten years ago. I’m not the same wife, either.

But for many years, I believed my marriage was tainted, too. I thought we might never find our way back to happiness.

I lost all hope.

In a day when marriages quickly end in divorce, where do hurting wives who want to stay married turn? You're not alone and finding hope in a difficult marriage IS possible! hope for marriage|marriage crisis|Christian marriage|devotional|godly wife|unloved|divorce|encouragement|inspirational|marriage book|marriage help

For a time, I even contemplated divorce, but I knew it was wrong, and I didn’t want my children to grow up in a broken family.

So, I cried out to the Lord for rescue. I allowed him into my anger and my brokenness. Instead of hiding the emotions I was so ashamed of, I started being brutally honest with God about my pain and my anger. I quit living in denial and allowed Him to open my eyes to the truth of our situation.

If not for family support and godly mentors during this season of life, I’m sure my story would be very different, friend.

I needed other Chrisitan women who were willing to admit that marriage is hard work. I needed other Christian women to show me there is no such thing as a perfect wife. I needed women to sit with me in suffering rather than sit with me in condemnation.

I needed women to sit with me in suffering rather than sit in condemnation.

I know some of you are searching for the same. You’re desperate to be the wife God wants you to be, but you don’t quite know how when your marriage is so troubled. You don’t know how you can possibly fight for your marriage when you can barely stand under the weight of it.

Fellow hurting wife, listen closely: You. are. not. alone.

My co-author Rebekah Hallberg and I hear frequently from women just like you (and just like us), who truly desire to avoid divorce. We know the shame and guilt you often bear. We know the loneliness you experience. We know what it is to feel unloved and rejected.

*This page contains affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thank you for supporting the ministry of Being Confident of This!

That’s why we wrote Hope for the Hurting Wife, for women like you who have lost all hope and don’t know where to turn.

Hope for the Hurting Wife

Hope for the Hurting Wife is a thirty-day devotional journey that meets hurting and heartbroken wives right in the midst of a difficult marriage and gently encourages them to find hope that truly lasts.

Through our personal stories of heartache and scriptural insight, we address topics such as:

• Moving forward after trauma
• Loving even when you feel unloved
• Protecting your heart
• Understanding the power of choice
• Trusting God while waiting for redemption

You will never experience a perfect marriage here on earth, but you can experience real hope.

Our God is the God of the impossible!

While the world is quick to throw away marriage and run straight to divorce, we who are in Christ know that our present troubles never accurately reflect our future.

In a day when marriages quickly end in divorce, where do hurting wives who want to stay married turn? Hope for the Hurting Wife is written by two women who have lived through the dark and difficult times in marriage. Through personal stories and biblical insight, they encourage all women to fight for hope in their marriages! hope for marriage|marriage crisis|Christian marriage|devotional|godly wife|unloved|divorce|encouragement|inspirational|marriage book|marriage help

We serve a God who invested His very self into us through the work of Jesus, and He continually works to transform us from the inside out (Phil. 1:6). He continually works to transform our relationships, too.

My marriage of eighteen years is stronger than ever, but not because of me. Only God could take a marriage so messy and so broken and transform it into something truly beautiful. Not perfect, but beautiful.

And I’m more certain now than ever that the Enemy just hates to see what God does when women hand over their lives and their marriages into His trust.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans :3-5 (NIV – emphasis mine)

You don’t have to be a wife who has lost all hope any longer, friend. Cry out to the God of all hope who comforts us in our troubles (2 Cor. 1:4).

Don’t be afraid to hope lest you be disappointed because God’s hope does not put us to shame!

Choose today to fight like a warrior wife for your marriage!

Choose hope over fear!

Jen 🙂

Marriage Resource Bundle Giveaway

To celebrate the launch of our book, Hope for the Hurting Wife, we’re giving away a four-book bundle of marriage resources! These resources were hand-selected by Rebekah and I specifically for wives who have lost all hope, but they would benefit any and every married woman! Here’s what the winner will receive

1. Hope for the Hurting Wife paperback – see info above!

2. Every Wife’s Choice by Sarah Fairchild (paperback) takes an in-depth look at how our emotions come into play in marriage. Sarah uses both humor and insightful key-word study to examine the famous love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13. I promise you will laugh out loud when reading this book!

3. A Wife’s 40-day Fasting and Prayer Journal by Kaylene Yoder (paperback) is a devotional combined with a prayer journal. It is beautifully designed with spaces to record what you learn from relevant verses, your own prayers, and even how you intend to fast should you choose to use that portion. Kaylene understands that marriages are often under spiritual attack, so she encourages women to fight back by covering their marriages in prayer!

4. Blues to Bliss by Ngina Otiende (ebook version) speaks to those times when marriage fails to live up to our expectations (especially in the early years). Ngina shares from her own marriage, as well as the Bible, about how to navigate areas such as intimacy, submission, communication and even finances!

We're celebrating the launch of our new book Hope for the Hurting Wife by giving away a bundle of marriage books! Enter for your chance to win these four books written for wives! marriage books|Christian wife|godly wife|marriage growth|faith|bible studies|devotionals|encouragement for marriage|hope for the  hurting wife|prayer journal

We are especially hopeful that some of these resources will make their way into the hands of wives who have nearly lost all hope.

Enter for your chance to win below! (And stop by Rebakah’s blog for a chance to win in her giveaway, too!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Sharing with: Salt and Light Linkup

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: Christian Marriage, Christian wife, difficult marriage, feeling unloved, hope for marriage, hope for the hurting wife, hurting wife, marriage crisis, marriage encouragement, marriage help

Finding Hope for Your Marriage

February 3, 2017 by jstults 3 Comments

My heart is heavy today for the many wives who feel stuck in a difficult marriage. For the last couple of months, the top google search word that led people to this site has been the word “unloved.” How unfortunate that during the month of February, when we highlight and celebrate love, so many of us feel it is lacking!

Maybe you, too, are searching for hope for your marriage?

As a wife myself, I spent many years fearing the reality of divorce. In fact, it’s only been the last few years that I’ve begun to find confidence in our marriage. So I feel qualified to tell you that you can still find hope for your marriage!

No marriage is too messy, no life too destroyed, for our Father God to work a transformation that leads to new life.

The real question is, how badly do you want it?

Are you willing to fight for hope?

Are you willing to cling to truth?

Are you willing to spend time praying for and loving someone who may not act loving toward you in return?

Perhaps even daring to hope sounds too painful to you at the moment – I’ve been there before, too, friend.

Are you searching for marriage encouragement? It's possible to find hope for your marriage, and we want to make that easier through this free ebook! The authors understand what a burden a troubled marriage relationship can be, but they also know the power of God's redeeming work.  Christian wife, hope for marriage, troubled marriage, difficult marriage, marriage problems, marriage encouragement, strong marriage, healthy marriage, god-centered marriage, godly wife, good wife

Yet our Father redeemed those broken places for me, and He desperately wants to do the same for you.

My friend Rebekah Hallberg and I have spent the last year writing about marriage and family life for each other’s blogs, attempting to share our stories that they might encourage women from all walks of life who really want to stay married but are weary of the struggle, women who have nearly lost hope.

We’ve been working for the last month or so to bring you a gift, a marriage resource that will hep you find renewed hope for your marriage. What we ended up with exceeded even our own expectations! What started out as a little 14-day ebook has become a full-blown 30-day devotional. Although we’re no longer giving away the ebook, we would LOVE to offer you a few free chapters of the updated and expanded devotional (scroll to the bottom for more details!).

We firmly believe that God wants to use these words to encourage wives across the globe to persevere when it comes to having a marriage that lasts.

Are you searching for marriage encouragement? It's possible to find hope for your marriage, and we want to make that easier through this free ebook! The authors understand what a burden a troubled marriage relationship can be, but they also know the power of God's redeeming work.  Christian wife, hope for marriage, troubled marriage, difficult marriage, marriage problems, marriage encouragement, strong marriage, healthy marriage, god-centered marriage, godly wife, good wife

 

Our book, Hope for the Hurting Wife, is a devotional that will meet you right where you are at and gently lead you toward the only hope that has the power to transform your marriage.

Here’s what you’ll find inside:

  • personal stories from women who understand the struggle
  • evidence that you are not alone
  • comfort and encouragement from God’s Word
  • practical steps to take
  • resources for further help
  • bonus content

Our hope is that God can use our painful pasts to bring new life to other married women.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 2 Cor. 2:3-5

There is hope for your marriage if you are willing to seek it!

Jen 🙂

To join a community of women determined to cling to hope for their marriages, sign up below! We’ll send you a monthly newsletter with helpful articles, encouraging words, and FREE resources, like sample chapters of our new book, Hope for the Hurting Wife. Simply fill out the form below and follow the instructions to grab your sample. 🙂

Does your marriage feel like a lot of hard work lately? Do you need encouragement to hold on? Get your free sample chapters of Hope for the Hurting Wife, a new devotional written by two women who have lived through the tough years of marriage. This biblically-based devotional contains practical advice and encouragement for all wives!

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: difficult marriage, discouraged wife, encouragement for wives, feeling unloved, hope for marriage, hurting wife, marriage encouragement, marriage is hard, marriage problems, stay married

Learning to Recognize Progress Can Save Your Marriage

February 8, 2016 by jstults 1 Comment

Believe it or not, the whole fight started over a pile of clean laundry.  We had just finished family fun night with our children, an evening of homemade, personalized pizzas and fun games and silly antics. After tucking the kids into bed, we were ready for some relaxation, some time to cuddle in front of our recent Netflix favorite.

But as we entered the bedroom, there it sat – a large pile of clean laundry just waiting to be folded.

I sighed.

I hadn’t meant to leave it there all day, but like most moms, I just got busy meeting all. the. needs.  So there it sat, and as I flopped down to fold it, I spotted The Face, you know- the one that means your husband is a little miffed even if he doesn’t say anything.

Every marriage goes through difficult seasons, and in those seasons, we often feel stuck. Here's a way to get out of that rut. Save your marriage by...

Instead of following my better judgment and ignoring The Face, I immediately took offense.

Why in the world should he get mad at me – at least having laundry on the bed means that we actually have some clean laundry, which is no small feat after the week I’ve had!  He should be happy that I managed to squeeze in a few loads here and there today. It’s not like I’m the only one in this house capable of folding laundry, anyways!

He should be thanking me!  

Am I right, ladies?!

Of course, that line of self-righteous thinking led to an ill-timed argument, and what could have been a beautiful end to the day quickly degenerated into angry words and hurt feelings…

To find out how learning to recognize progress can save your marriage, join me over at my friend Becky’s blog for the rest of the story!

Are you searching for marriage encouragement? It's possible to find hope for your marriage, and we want to make that easier through this free ebook! The authors understand what a burden a troubled marriage relationship can be, but they also know the power of God's redeeming work. Christian wife, hope for marriage, troubled marriage, difficult marriage, marriage problems, marriage encouragement, strong marriage, healthy marriage, god-centered marriage, godly wife, good wife

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Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: Christian living, difficult marriage, Hope, Husband, Marriage, marriage encouragement, save your marriage, troubled marriage, Wife, work in progress

Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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jstults[at]beingconfidentofthis[dot]com

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New devotional release from Jen Stults - Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. This book is for every Christian woman who wants to walk in confident faith instead of struggling with doubt, fear, and insecurity! self-esteem | self-confidence | self-help | motivational | personal growth | spiritual growth | how to be more confident | Christian women | devotional | Bible study | identity in Christ | superwoman myth | being like Mary

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