Has a book ever touched your life in a way that you knew would forever change you?
Hope for the Hurting Wife has changed me.
From the early years of marriage when I lived out the reality of this book, I’ve seen the hand of God at work in my marriage. It’s a good thing, too, because without His intervention, I probably would have ended up divorced.
Yes, this book has changed me. Writing out your struggles, reliving them for the world to see, is no easy thing. It requires time and patience and lots of shaking-in-my-boots bravery.
As an imperfect wife, I never planned to write about marriage. In fact, I purposefully avoided writing about marriage for quite a while until the Lord convinced me otherwise.
You see, friend, I wanted nothing more than to be the good, Christian girl and the good, Christian wife. But when my life became tainted by sin and doubt and suffering, upholding my good, Christian girl facade became impossible.
And I’m thankful it did.
I’m not the same person I was ten years ago. I’m not the same wife, either.
But for many years, I believed my marriage was tainted, too. I thought we might never find our way back to happiness.
I lost all hope.
For a time, I even contemplated divorce, but I knew it was wrong, and I didn’t want my children to grow up in a broken family.
So, I cried out to the Lord for rescue. I allowed him into my anger and my brokenness. Instead of hiding the emotions I was so ashamed of, I started being brutally honest with God about my pain and my anger. I quit living in denial and allowed Him to open my eyes to the truth of our situation.
If not for family support and godly mentors during this season of life, I’m sure my story would be very different, friend.
I needed other Chrisitan women who were willing to admit that marriage is hard work. I needed other Christian women to show me there is no such thing as a perfect wife. I needed women to sit with me in suffering rather than sit with me in condemnation.
I needed women to sit with me in suffering rather than sit in condemnation.
I know some of you are searching for the same. You’re desperate to be the wife God wants you to be, but you don’t quite know how when your marriage is so troubled. You don’t know how you can possibly fight for your marriage when you can barely stand under the weight of it.
Fellow hurting wife, listen closely: You. are. not. alone.
My co-author Rebekah Hallberg and I hear frequently from women just like you (and just like us), who truly desire to avoid divorce. We know the shame and guilt you often bear. We know the loneliness you experience. We know what it is to feel unloved and rejected.
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That’s why we wrote Hope for the Hurting Wife, for women like you who have lost all hope and don’t know where to turn.
Hope for the Hurting Wife
Hope for the Hurting Wife is a thirty-day devotional journey that meets hurting and heartbroken wives right in the midst of a difficult marriage and gently encourages them to find hope that truly lasts.
Through our personal stories of heartache and scriptural insight, we address topics such as:
• Moving forward after trauma
• Loving even when you feel unloved
• Protecting your heart
• Understanding the power of choice
• Trusting God while waiting for redemption
You will never experience a perfect marriage here on earth, but you can experience real hope.
Our God is the God of the impossible!
While the world is quick to throw away marriage and run straight to divorce, we who are in Christ know that our present troubles never accurately reflect our future.
We serve a God who invested His very self into us through the work of Jesus, and He continually works to transform us from the inside out (Phil. 1:6). He continually works to transform our relationships, too.
My marriage of eighteen years is stronger than ever, but not because of me. Only God could take a marriage so messy and so broken and transform it into something truly beautiful. Not perfect, but beautiful.
And I’m more certain now than ever that the Enemy just hates to see what God does when women hand over their lives and their marriages into His trust.
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans :3-5 (NIV – emphasis mine)
You don’t have to be a wife who has lost all hope any longer, friend. Cry out to the God of all hope who comforts us in our troubles (2 Cor. 1:4).
Don’t be afraid to hope lest you be disappointed because God’s hope does not put us to shame!
Choose today to fight like a warrior wife for your marriage!
Choose hope over fear!
Jen 🙂
Marriage Resource Bundle Giveaway
To celebrate the launch of our book, Hope for the Hurting Wife, we’re giving away a four-book bundle of marriage resources! These resources were hand-selected by Rebekah and I specifically for wives who have lost all hope, but they would benefit any and every married woman! Here’s what the winner will receive
1. Hope for the Hurting Wife paperback – see info above!
2. Every Wife’s Choice by Sarah Fairchild (paperback) takes an in-depth look at how our emotions come into play in marriage. Sarah uses both humor and insightful key-word study to examine the famous love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13. I promise you will laugh out loud when reading this book!
3. A Wife’s 40-day Fasting and Prayer Journal by Kaylene Yoder (paperback) is a devotional combined with a prayer journal. It is beautifully designed with spaces to record what you learn from relevant verses, your own prayers, and even how you intend to fast should you choose to use that portion. Kaylene understands that marriages are often under spiritual attack, so she encourages women to fight back by covering their marriages in prayer!
4. Blues to Bliss by Ngina Otiende (ebook version) speaks to those times when marriage fails to live up to our expectations (especially in the early years). Ngina shares from her own marriage, as well as the Bible, about how to navigate areas such as intimacy, submission, communication and even finances!
We are especially hopeful that some of these resources will make their way into the hands of wives who have nearly lost all hope.
Enter for your chance to win below! (And stop by Rebakah’s blog for a chance to win in her giveaway, too!)
Sharing with: Salt and Light Linkup
I can’t wait to read all of these! God has been working a miracle in our marriage. He has given me hope and endurance when I thought all was lost. He has truly made a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert! I have been so blessed by having Rebekah walk me through it, and to have shown me there is hope.
Jonatha, praise the Lord! It makes me rejoice to hear that you are trusting Him to bring redemption to your marriage!
Jen 🙂
That is awesome news to know God is always working, even when we may not see or feel it. It is amazing what God is doing for all of you, and I am sure He will continue to do.
Would LOVE to win a copy…really can’t fit a purchase in the budget right now.
Thank you for sharing your story and the hope it displays.
I completely understand, Linda! We’re running a tight ship over here at our house, too. Let’s hope you win!
Jen 🙂
My husband is not a believer. He has PTSD and struggles in many areas. Our marriage was on the brink of divorce when I finally submitted to God and realized that the problems in our marriage might not be ALL my fault, but my self-righteous and selfish attitudes were definitely not helping. I had to submit to God and let Him work. That was five years ago. Our marriage isn’t perfect and he still doesn’t believe, but it’s a million times better. Changing me has made such a difference in how he acts. It’s almost a miracle. But I’m still praying to see him saved!
Thank you for this testimony, Jennifer! My heart goes out to all wives who are married to unbelievers – that definitely adds a layer to marriage problems. I went through the same sort of realization myself. Even though my husband’s struggles are what brought our marriage issues to light, in the process I learned that I wasn’t perfect, either!
Jen 🙂
By the way, my hubby lives with PTSD, too, and I actually wrote about that in this book! It helps a great deal to understand where they are coming from. 🙂
God is good! He is healing my heart of the pain from a broken marriage. I still have bad days but it’s getting better. Instead of me crying out for God to bring my husband back to me, I know just pray for God’s will to be done in my husband’s life, for God to restore and renew my husband…..even if our marriage isn’t restored.
Oh, Starla, that’s such a hard thing to trust God with, isn’t it? I remember wrestling with that myself – the thought that even if my husband divorced me, God still had my best interest at heart. Praying for you!
Jen
This is such an important topic and I love that you and Rebekah have followed God’s leading and written a book that offers hope to those who are hurting. Congratulations on the book!
Thanks, Dawn! He has definitely paved the way. All for His glory and the sake of the gospel!
Jen 🙂
Jen, congrats on your first book!! What a thrill! I am cheering for you & Becky!
Also, thank you so much for adding A Wife’s 40-Day Fasting & Prayer Journal to your book bundle. All these books together will be a powerful collection for the winner! It’s an honor to be part of that.
Thank YOU for being generous with your book, friend! I’m excited to see who wins!
Jen 🙂
I would really like this for my wife.
That’s sweet. 🙂 You can enter for a chance to win it in the Giveaway, or you can purchase it on Amazon right now – the kindle version is only 0.99 for another day or two!
Jen 🙂
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Thanks! Appreciate the support! 🙂
God has kept me in peace while He works out my husband’s anxiety issues. We have a long way to go, but I know God is faithful to complete the good work He has started in us.
Christy, what an encouragement to me to hear from a fellow wife who is fighting through those tough times. Yes, God is faithful and your hope in Him will not be put to shame!
Jen 🙂
God works in my marriage by our friendship with each other. He really is my best friend. God put is togeather based not on how we are alike but how we are different. We have taught each other balance in how to walk in His light everyday. We are on the same page with teaching our kids about God. My husband is amazing and he definitly was made for me.
I love that, Tamara, because my husband and I are opposites in many ways, too. We definitely balance each other out!
Jen 🙂
Thank you so much.
I can’t put into words here how much this is needed. Thank you so much.
No, thank you, Summer, for being brave and leaving me some encouragement here!
Jen 🙂
These resources have been a tremendous blessing!
So glad to hear it, Francette!
Jen 🙂
I have been deep in hopelessness. The Lord gracefully brought to my attention what I needed to work on rather than how my husband had to change. I long desperately to share what the Lord revealed to me with other women.
Rebekah, I think many of us wives get caught in that trap of focusing on our husbands’ issues rather than our own hearts. I’m so thankful that you allowed the Lord to work in you that way! You can start sharing your story any time – little by little – with whomever will listen.
Jen 🙂
These will be great follow ups to “Excellent Wife”.
Thank you for doing a giveaway! I would really like to win a copy!
What wonderful resources. Marriage is hard but God has blessed us with people like you who reach out to offer help and hope. Thank you!
Recently I was angry. I felt bitterness setting in my bones. I felt burdened and uncared for. So yesterday I decided I was going to make a list to show the comparison of what I do each day vs. what he did each day. I felt justified. I knew I was going to prove my point. Yeah, I’m gonna show him…..
Then I woke up to God’s words this morning asking me what His list would look like “me vs. him”. Oh, ouch. Ummm, well, I suppose I would not like God to show me a list of all the times I didn’t measure up. I felt a peace return to my bones. Compassion back in my heart and a desire to lay my desire to be right down at the feet of Jesus.
You think you are doing so well and the enemy finds the pressure point and it turns out that you need God more, that is, if you are not going to throw in the towel and act like everyone else in this world. I am so glad God didn’t leave me in that space and that in spite of myself He still talks to me.
I can relate, Stephanie! I’ve been that angry wife, too, and the Lord laid a similar smack-down (as my boys like to say) on me. Whenever I complain about unfairness in my marriage, He simply reminds me of Jesus. If anyone had a right to be angry at injustice, it would be Jesus, but instead, He took on my burdens and my sin. (In fact, I write about one of those occasions in the book!) It’s easy to be discouraged by our own sin, which is why Phil. 1:6 is my life verse. It’s a constant reminder that God is not finished with me yet. I’m a work-in-progress.
Jen 🙂
Thank you Jen for sharing this opportunity!
We both have been a work in process our entire marriage! But God redeems! God heals and He gives his children promises of hope for the future. He is currently teaching me to be less interested in the changes that are taking place in my husband (as important as they are) but, to be more interested and more focused on the change that the Lord wants to make in MY heart.
Yes, Julia! I think this lesson applies to all relationships in our world today. It’s so easy to let that self-righteous thinking creep in, isn’t it?!
Jen 🙂
I would love to win this- in a very hard season in my marriage due to an affair. God will redeem and heal my marriage, but it has been a painful year.
I would love to win this bundle. Although I am going through a divorce and my husband has another woman, that does not mean the work for me does not stop. I did not do the work before I got marriage and I know that marriage will be an ever learning experience but I recognize now that it is never too soon to start.
Bre, I am so sorry to hear about the hardship going on in your marriage right now, but I encourage you to cling to hope – no matter what! You are not alone. Many women have walked this path before you, and God is ever with you – let that truth comfort to you. Praying for you this afternoon!
Jen
Thanks for the chance to win all these resources– I love seeing God at work in my marriage, and in my life. 😀
This sounds like just what I am looking for. I am in a battle for my marriage that I never saw coming and o so desire to be a godly wife even while he is being pulled away by worldly desires. I hold tight to my faith and trust and His ways are better than mine and that He is in control of it all.
Hang in there, Amy! You are not alone in battling for your marriage, and with God’s help, you can continue to be a godly wife in spite of your husband’s choices. Praying for you this afternoon!
Jen
I so desperately want and need these, my marriage has been a struggle on so many levels. There has been abuse, and so much hurt. God has been so gracious and brought us out of the worse with lots of support from our amazing church, counselors, and my family but the hurt is so deep; I’m not coping well.God is so good though. I cannot wait to read these books.
Would love to win! But if not, I plan on purchasing off Amazon! Thank you for being so generous ❤
Thanks for your insight, hopefully this will help me.
Looks like a great resource for wives since marriage is hard!
I found this while looking through Pinterest and I just sat here crying. Feeling so alone, so empty, so hurt and broken. I look forward to hopefully reading this book someday (If I can ever afford it). It’s nice to know that I’m not alone though.
Lauren, my heart goes out to you! I know that feeling, and I wish I could reach through the screen and just hold you while you cry. You’re definitely not alone. And whether it feels like it or not, Father God is but a whispered prayer away. I’m asking Him to comfort you this evening, to bring you some signs of encouragement, and to help you find hope. Do you have a way to read an ebook (like a Kindle or a tablet? or I think you can even read them on a computer, too). Please let me know because I would love to help get this book to you!
Jen
God’s doing wonders in my marriage reconciliation is not easy bit with God everything is possible I’m super excited and looking forward to reading all these books, staying close to God and putting him first in my marriage and trusting him to guide me has open my eyes to whole new world that’s for sure
I am in the middle of a hurting season, but holding on to hope. I have been married now for 18 years too, but this has been the toughest one so far. I am holding on for dear life to Jesus and the promises He gave. I am grateful for discovering your blog. Bless you
I could only hope to win your bundle you have going on! My marriage is in complete shambles, I have everything on the line and everything to loose. I pray for restoration and hoping a book like this could help!
I held fast and tight for a long time, I prayed and fasted, sought counsel and prayed some more. As things continues to break down, I began to break down. I felt so broken I could not do my job well, parent well nor function at all. It took a big push to move me and my son out of the toxic situation and into a place of rest. It was a desperate attempt to speak louder than words that things needed to change. His heart instead hardened against me and now we are in process of divorce. I do not condone this yet at times, it might be necessary. My heart has not let go of him yet, but I have waved the white flag of surrender. He has broken me down but I am allowing God to lift me up.
Oh, Carrie, my heart goes out to you! Yes, one of the points made in our book is that sometimes separation (and even divorce) is necessary – especially when people are in danger. I’m so sorry that you are walking through the pain of divorce. I’m praying for you – that God will show you how to move forward in a way that honors Him. Please know that you are not the only faithful, Christian wife who is living this same story. I’m sure it seems unfair. Yet, God is faithful. Take heart, friend. This isn’t the end of your story! Also, if you click over to my co-author Rebekah’s blog, you can find more information about a facebook group for women in situations like yours. It may be a helpful resource for you!
Jen