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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

What Every Christian Woman Needs to Know about Authentic Confidence

October 22, 2018 by jstults Leave a Comment

In 2011, my husband and I took a leap of faith, one that was ten years in the making, one that required a move for our whole family away from all that was familiar and comfortable. After taking an extended break from paid ministry positions to focus on our marriage and family, we were jumping back into full-time ministry with both feet.

And it was scary, and exciting, and…scary.

My husband worked mostly as a youth minister previously, so this position would be our first real pastorate. And for the first time in my life, I wouldn’t be the youth pastor’s wife, I would be The Pastor’s Wife. To some of you, this might not seem like a big deal, but if you’ve ever transitioned from one to the other, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. 😉

In my naivete, I failed to recognize what an adjustment this would be for me. Suddenly women twice my age were looking to me for leadership. Me!

Becoming a Woman of Authentic Confidence

To say I felt inadequate and ill-prepared would be an understatement. How could I, flawed and imperfect as I was, possibly lead women with so much more spiritual and life experience than me?

What if I misused or abused God’s Word? What if I failed to have the right answer to a question? What if they saw me as I really was, a messy, easily-offended, often-struggling Christian woman?

Where does real confidence come from for Christian women? We cannot experience God's abundant life without understanding this foundational truth! #BeingConfidentofThis #confidentChristianwoman #biblicaltruth #Bible Christian women | how to be confident | insecurity | confident faith | fear | doubt | biblical truth | bible study | Christian growth | discipleship |God's plans |book release | giveaway

You might say that was the beginning, the start of my growth into the women’s ministry leader that I am today, by God’s grace. I learned much about God’s grace in the years that followed. There were successes and there were failures, lots of failures – both personal and in ministry, but He carried me through.

Those early years as a women’s leader caused me to seek an authentic confidence that I sorely needed, one I’d been searching for my whole life long. I was tired of the roller-coaster ride of victory followed by defeat followed by doubt, and then back up again. I was tired of being a slave to perfectionism. I was tired of feeling like an Israelite lost in the desert.

I wanted a more steadfast faith. I wanted that assurance that I was pursuing the path God planned for me.

It didn’t come all at once, friend, and sometimes I feel as if I grab hold of it for a brief moment only to lose it again, but I’m understanding that authentic confidence is not as elusive as many Christian women think!

The Mistake We All Make

The problem is that the world so often begins the idea of confidence with a lie, as in self-confidence.

As Christian women, we know confidence cannot possibly begin with self because self is sin-ridden and hopelessly flawed (Romans 3:23). Any confidence placed in self is doomed to fail eventually. We know this to be true yet somehow many of us have accepted this worldly idea that confidence is something we must manufacture on our own! Even many recent best-selling “Christian” books promote this anti-gospel.

So we tend to make one of two mistakes. Either we downplay our sin and our imperfections so that we can make ourselves acceptable to a holy and perfect God, or we waste our one life striving so hard for an acceptance that is already ours in Christ! We bounce back and forth between the two, trying to find our way to real confidence.

No wonder we are such weary Christian women!

What every Christian woman needs to know about authentic confidence is that it has nothing to do with our performance.

Nothing.

The Christ-confident Woman

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thanks for supporting the ministry of this site!

Friend, the answer you are looking for, the only way to real confidence, lies in understanding your God-given identity. The only truly confident woman is the Christ-confident woman, one who recognizes not only her sin but also her Savior!

And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12

That’s why I put together Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. This devotional comes from my personal experience as a woman trying to understand who God created her to be, a woman who daily sees her own flaws and imperfections yet longs for love and acceptance, a woman who deeply desires to be used by God for His glory, a woman who seeks to be a good wife and mother, and a woman who wants other women to experience real freedom.

Authentic confidence is not a mask you put on and take off, neither is it something you can manufacture on your own. Authentic confidence isn’t the absence of fear or doubt, but a laying down of control and concern at the Father’s feet. Authentic confidence naturally flows from the woman who is Spirit-filled and grace-oriented.

There's one thing you need to know about real confidence! #BeingConfidentofThis #devotional #womenoftheWord #Bible giveaway | book launch | God's Word | the Bible |confidence | assurance | encouragement | Christian women | spiritual growth | identity in Christ | leadership | grace | women of faith

It’s this kind of confident faith that enabled me to write out some of my deepest confessions here on this blog and in Hope for the Hurting Wife. It’s this kind of confident faith that upheld me when marriage became hard work and I grappled for hope. It’s this kind of confident faith that propelled us out of our comfortable and safe ministry position straight into the unsettling unknown of church-planting. It’s the confidence that continues to sustain me.

What if confidence really has nothing to do with self? Find out where real confidence comes from in Being Confident of This, a new devotional for Christian women by author Jen Stults. #BeingConfidentofThis #Christianbook #newrelease #Christianwomen confident faith | Christian growth | biblical truth | discipleship for women | women in the Word | overcoming insecurity | personality flaws | discovering identity in Christ | sanctification | work in progress| being a Mary instead of Martha | serving God | self-esteem | self-improvement | learning who God created you to be | overcoming perfectionism

If you want to be this kind of Christian woman, I invite you to join me. In Being Confident of This you will learn about the benefits of:

  • Overcoming the superwoman myth
  • Having courage to face a giant
  • Avoiding the danger of greener grass
  • Embracing a work-in-progress mindset

Don’t waste another moment of your one life on fear, doubt, or insecurity, friend.

Choose today to ignite the confidence befitting a cherished daughter of the King!

Praying for you, my work-in-progress friends,

Jen 🙂
Celebrating Launch week for the new devotional, Being Confident of This by Jen Stults. Enter to win a FREE copy of Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ - a devotional journey for women of faith who want to experience confidence built on Christ! #giveaway #newrelease #BeingConfidentofThis #confidentchristianwoman  women's devotional | book luanch | Christian women| books for women | books for spiritual growth | confidence | overcoming insecurity | overcoming fear and doubt | identity in Christ | growing in faith |Bible study

Launch Week fun & a GIVEAWAY for Being Confident of This

In celebration of the release of Being Confident of This, we’re having a giveaway! You can enter the one hosted here (see bottom of post!) at BCOT below, but you should also be on the lookout for other giveaways hosted by our launch team members. Keep an eye on our facebook page and Instagram feed for more information!

As an added BONUS, for readers who purchase through the links on this page during launch week only, I’m offering the Work in Progress Toolkit. This is a tool I created last year as an exclusive bonus for Grace Goals, but it fits so well with the themes of this new devotional that I want to give it to you for free. 🙂

The Word is clear that Scripture changes us (Psalm 119:11). When we meditate on truth, our minds and spirits are transformed, and transformed minds lead to transformed actions. It’s that work-in-progress in us, that sanctification that molds us into Christ-likeness.

But He said, “On the contrary, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.” Luke 11:28

The Work in Progress Toolkit is designed to help you saturate your life with truth so that you can overcome the lies that so often hold Christian women back. It contains beautiful 8×10 scripture prints to hang on your walls, as well at a truth-journaling sheet that will help you identify lies you are believing so that you can fight back with God’s truth!

How to get your BONUS

The only way to get this bonus is to purchase Being Confident of This during launch week through the links on this page and email me your receipt along with a request for the toolkit. It’s that simple! I will then send you the link to download your FREE resource.

And if you really want to make my day, you can share the news about Being Confident of This with your friends, leave a review of the book after reading, or send me an email telling me how it’s impacting you. Hearing how the Lord is working in you makes my joy complete. 🙂

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: authentic, Christian living, Christian Women, Confidence, Identity in Christ, insecurity, new book, Perfectionism, Women, Women of Faith

What You Need to Know about Your Work-in-Progress Status

October 7, 2016 by jstults 5 Comments

It’s Friday and you’ve survived another week, maybe even another month. Sometimes you wonder how much longer you can keep at it, how much longer you can grind your way through the hard work we call life.

And some days, the hard work defeats us, owns us, and we become less than – less of a wife, less of a mother, less of a daughter of the King, less than we truly desire to be.

We’re tempted then to blame the weariness, the dead weight we’ve been dragging for so long, on our hectic lives.

I’m just too busy.

The phrase slips into my mind so easily, yet I know it’s only a half-truth. Yes, I’ve been busy, but not just with the family schedule. My mind has been busy, too – busy with worries, thoughts, plans, dreams, and even dissatisfaction.

We’re weary women, you and me, and we long for some space to smooth down our frayed edges and quiet our souls, yet we’ve somehow lost the way.

If I’m honest, I have to admit that my biggest problem isn’t my hectic schedule, though. No – the biggest problem is that when my schedule is crazy, my perfectionism and need to control kicks into overdrive. I’m tempted to think if I just work harder and longer, then I can keep myself afloat. 

If I just do everything right….

When failure seems to dog your every step, when you feel less than, when the Enemy whispers lies about how you're not good enough, lean on these biblical truths to overcome the pull of perfectionism! Bible verse | free printable | perfectionism | Christian women | overcome | hope for perfectionists | encouragement | Bible study | devotional #perfectionism #encouragement #bibleverse #Christianwomen

Unfortunately, I’m not perfect and neither are you. No matter how hard we try, we’re bound to fail at something along the way.

And fail, I have.

I’ve been a grumpy mama and a distracted wife. I’ve offended others in my haste and frustration. I’ve neglected to connect to the only Power Source who can really keep me going in the tough times. I’ve been trying way too hard to do something I cannot possibly do on my own, and boy, is it painful!

Why do we do this to ourselves, my sisters in Christ?  Why do we expect the impossible rather than resting in what we already know to be true?

~I’m sharing three of my favorite truths to fight against the pull perfectionism over at my friend Kaylene’s blog today. It would make my day if you’d hop on over there to find out what you really need to know about your work-in-progress status (and how to get a freebie)!

 

 

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

Perfectionism is one of the Enemy's greatest tools in keeping us from our freedom in Chirst! Use these verses to fight back agains the pull of perfectionism and remind yourself of your identity in Christ. #perfectionism #bibleverse #freeprintable #Christianwomen Bible study | deovtional | free printable | identity in Christ | abundant life | freedom in Christ | overcoming perfectionism | encouragement }Christian wife | Christian mom

 

Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: busy mom, child of God, Christian living, control, crazy schedule, Devotional Thought, failure, Fear of failure, Identity in Christ, Perfectionism, too busy, Wife, work in progress, Worry

The Superwoman Myth Resolved

July 5, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

In the first half of The Superwoman Myth, we discussed how the players of self and others contribute to this myth of womanly perfection.  Today, we finish with the final player.

The final contributor in the saga of the Superwoman Myth  is Satan.

He is the great deceiver and he loves that we fall prey to the myth!

What better way to convince us we are failures than to give us an unattainable goal?

He waits on the sidelines while we struggle and agonize over our own weaknesses, while we look around at all of the women who seem to be living out their faith so much better than we are.

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?!  Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

Debunking the Superwoman Myth

It is then that he strikes – in the middle of that doubt and fear that we’re not good enough, maybe even that we’ll never be good enough.  He knows that if he can get us to focus on our failures, we’ll take our eyes off of Christ.

1 Peter 5:8 warns,

“Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion

looking for someone to devour.”

But Satan is a liar.

The Father proclaims that we don’t have to be perfect because

Christ.

was.

perfect.

for us.

Amen?!  God knows that we are human and that because of sin we are flawed, but the Good News?  He chose to love us anyway!

Romans 5:8 testifies,

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When God looks at you, He already sees perfection because of the sacrifice of His Son. That work is already complete!

So, how do we become the best version of ourselves (the one we were created to be), without crossing over into the abyss of worry and guilt that Satan wants us trapped in?

How do we show ourselves grace and avoid falling prey to the Superwoman Myth?

The answer lies in Christ.

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?!  Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

 

We can become the best version of ourselves by abiding in Him, by spending time in His word and in His presence.

It really is that simple.

It’s not in the details of our living, but in the attitude and mindset behind the way we live that matters to the Lord. 

When we realize that He purposefully created us with a unique role to fill, we can stop looking down on His creation (self), stop looking around at everyone else, and instead focus on Him and His love for us.

When we relax in His gracious love, we allow Him to do the work necessary to develop Christ-likeness in us.  We can be at peace with ourselves knowing that He will continue the work in us and that our Father God already loves us anyway, no matter what!

 

Do you long for authentic confidence, the kind that truly lasts? Join us for 30 days in God's Word as we discover how identity in Christ impacts Christian confidence! This book is for every Christian woman who wants more confident faith. spiritual growth | confidence | insecurity | fear | doubt | God's plans | Bible study | devotional | new release | Jen Stults | Being Confident of This

Now, let’s take a peek back at that one personality flaw we chose during part 1 of the Superwoman Myth.  Let me ask you some questions in relation to your flaw.

Did God create you?

In His wisdom, did God create your personality this way?

Consider this:  Does God create by accident?  Does He create things that are inherently bad? (Think back to the days of Eden.)

No!

Therefore, we can safely assume that the things we dislike most about ourselves are characteristics God intentionally gave to us or allowed us to have.

And …

In their purest, God-given form, those personality “flaws” are not bad. 

Yes, personality “flaws” can certainly lead us to sin, but in and of themselves, they are pure, God-given traits meant for our benefit.  He give us these traits,  perhaps to teach us, maybe even to teach others, and in the process, to bring Him glory.

So, now how do you see your “flaw?”

Is it possible that with Christ’s help your flaw can become the thing of beauty He intends it to be?

I believe so.

That’s why my life verse is Philippians 1:6.

“Being confident in this; he who began a good work in you

will carry it until the day of completion in Christ Jesus.”

My sisters in Christ,

                     don’t

                             fall

                                   for

                               the Superwoman Myth.

Don’t believe the lies from self, others, or Satan.

Instead, listen to the voice of your Creator God, the Father who lavishes His love on you!

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?!  Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

He doesn’t ask us to be superwomen.

Instead He just wants us to be the women He created us to be.

Work-in-progress women.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell His Story, Grace and Truth

This is an excerpt from the newly released devotional, Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ.

 

For the woman who tries so hard to be her very best yet fails time and again. Don't let this myth destroy your confidence! #confidentChristianwoman #BeingConfidentofThis #overcomeinsecurity #overcomeperfectionism Christian women resources | inspirational | encouraging books | discipleship materials | Bible study | how to be more confident | Christ-centered confidence | Christian living | personal growth | spiritual growth

Filed Under: Christianity, Women of Faith Tagged With: Christian Women, Identity in Christ, Motherhood, Perfectionism, Supermom, Superwoman, Superwoman Myth, Women, work in progress

Through My Grace-Colored Glasses

May 17, 2015 by jstults 18 Comments

Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again.  He just won’t leave me alone. He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord.

Some days I can ignore him and others I just can’t seem to escape. And I know it’s Perfectionism and not the Holy Spirit because of his voice.  He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different.

You see, my husband and I stayed up much too late because we were arguing about a financial issue.

I felt angry and disappointed and fearful.  The familiar panic of how can I possibly do right in this situation and still get my point across welled up within me, and I knew a battle was swiftly approaching.

I know some of you are chuckling right now, and rightfully so!

It’s the quandary every woman who ever lived on the face of Earth deals with: to obey the Lord and demonstrate respect for my husband or to take control and make my voice heard?

God’s way or my way?

When it comes to submitting to and respecting my husband, I so often feel like Paul in Romans chapter 7. I know what I want to do, what I should do, yet I feel powerless to actually do it.

I’ve believed so many lies for so long.  

I fail frequently.

But the Lord is faithful, and I’m learning to trust His promises to carry that work in me, in my marriage, until completion in the day of Christ (Phil. 1:6).

Later on after our apologies were spoken and we both felt at peace, we finally turned out the lights in hopes for at least a few hours of sleep.

And that’s when it happened.  

Marriage is hard work, and it's easy to feel like a failure. Here's why you need to learn to show yourself a little more grace... #marriage #marriageadvice #Christianwife #grace Being Confident of This | confidence in marriage | show yourself grace | failure | perfectionism | wife | married life | work-in-progress women | encouragement for wives | Christian marriage | faith

 

In the stillness of the dark, my husband’s voice broke through Perfectionism’s insidious whispers, “Thank you for being so calm and patient with me tonight.”

Stunned, my disbelieving heart rejected his kind words and earlier tears returned in full force.

“But I wasn’t patient!” I agonized. “I was so angry and so disappointed and I struggled, I really struggled, not to say mean and hateful things.” The weight of my own sin and failure hung about my neck.

My husband’s reply was quiet, yet firm, “Babe, even though you were angry, you were patient with me. You didn’t bite my head off. You maintained control. You gave me space and that helped me.”

At that moment, the truth of his words broke through Perfectionism’s grasp.  No, I didn’t handle the situation as well as I would have liked; I wasn’t perfect.  Yes, there was definitely room for improvement.

Nevertheless, his words rang true. What normally would have developed into a full-fledged, hours-long fight was briefly resolved.  By the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, I realized that we were definitely making progress.

That’s when I saw Perfectionism for what he was – one part self, one part Satan.  

Self was prideful, Satan was deceitful, and the combination of the two brought me chains of defeat that I no longer wish to carry.

In Perfectionism’s chains, I so often measure in black and white, success or failure, perfect or imperfect.

Praise the Lord that my Redeemer is teaching me to put on my Grace-colored glasses and see the shades of success, to celebrate even the smallest steps of progress, to proclaim every small victory because of His work in me, in us.

 

I hope I never forget that moment.  My husband spoke freeing words to me last night, and the Holy Spirit confirmed them within me.

Daughter, you are the good that you so desperately want to be, not because your efforts are so grand and your reach so high, but because you are walking a path of progress, trusting in the promise of redemption.  I never asked you to be perfect, just willing. At the same time, daughter, you are perfect, not in yourself, but in my Son because He already carried these burdens with Him and nailed them to the cross.  They died and were buried with Him.  But you daughter, you rose with Him in perfection, a new creation, beautiful to behold, born of His glory.  And now you no longer live as a slave in Romans 7, but in Romans 8 as more than a conqueror, confident in the promise that you will never be separated from His love!

2 Corinthians 5:17 proclaims, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come. (NASB)”

I don’t think I’ll ever cease to be overwhelmed by such truths, such promises, such magnificent grace.  In the midst of my sorrow and my shame, my Savior showed up and handed me a pair of Grace-colored glasses.

Perfectionism, you’re no longer welcome here.

I’m embracing my work-in-progress status

and the grace that has already set me free!

Jen 🙂

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit the Being Confident of This homepage. Thank you for helping to support this blog!

~ You just finished an excerpt from the book Hope for the Hurting Wife by Rebekah Hallberg and Jen Stults, two women who have walked through the valley of troubled marriages and emerged safely on the other side. Their testimonies to God’s presence and hope in the midst of difficulty gives hope to wives who are really struggling not to give up!

 

Find additional encouraging content in this book:

 

marriage help | marriage advice | marriage problems | wife | husband | Christian women | Bible study | devotional #marriage #marriagebook #devotional #hope

 

Sharing with: A Look At the Book, Make Your Home Sing Monday, Tell It To Me Tuesday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Titus 2sdays, Wedded Wednesdays, A Little R&R Wednesdays, Wholehearted Wednesdays, Grace and Truth, Faith Filled Fridays

Filed Under: Christianity, Marriage Tagged With: Christ-centered living, Christian Marriage, Fear of failure, Grace, hope for the hurting wife, Imperfect Marriage, Imperfect Progress, Marriage, Perfectionism, work in progress

Fear and Blogging ~ Grace and Truth Week 9

March 13, 2015 by jstults 2 Comments

Hello, faithful readers! It’s that time of week again when we all gather ’round for some encouragement. How is everyone? Has the week been victorious?  Has it been rough?  Has it been a roller coaster of in-betweens?

Wherever you are in the spectrum this Friday, keep in mind that Jesus knows; He understands.  Whether we’re sorrowing or rejoicing, struggling or persevering, He’s with us. He’s FOR us. That gives me comfort, friends!

This week I’m happy to introduce you to Shari Lynne who blogs at Faith Filled Food For Moms. In this week’s featured post, Shari writes all about that fear that all of us face in blogging, but honestly, her words could apply to so many areas of life.  Are we doing too much? not enough? right? wrong? and on it goes. We all know the struggle of wanting to do our best at something, yes? 🙂

I love this line in particular from her post:

Fear…Fear…Fear

Unfortunately this can lead to striving OR it can paralyze us into doing nothing or even worse…quitting!

How true!  We can swing from one extreme to the other if we miss her important advice.

Jen 🙂

Thanks for linking up with us last week. If you were featured, feel free to grab a featured button below!

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Grace & Truth : A Weekly Christian Link Up

Grace & Truth exists to point people to Jesus! We hope this link-up will be a source of encouragement each and every week. If you’re a blogger our hope is that you’ll use this space as a way to meet new friends within the Christian blogging community. If you’re a reader our hope is that you’ll meet new bloggers that love Jesus just as much as you do! Most of all, we hope you’ll meet Jesus here.

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3.) Visit 1-2 other links and leave a meaningful comment! We want to encourage community, so please don’t link and run!

4.) All links are randomly sorted – feel free to link as early or as late as you’d like. The playing field is even!

In order to be featured next week:

5.) Grab a button or link back to encourage new linkers. This is not mandatory to participate, but is required to be featured.

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7.) By linking up you agree to allow the hosts to use your featured post image if you are chosen as a feature for next week.

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Filed Under: Blogging, Christianity, Grace and Truth Link-up, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: #GraceTruth link-up, bloggers, Blogging, Christ-centered living, Effects of Fear, Fear, Fear of failure, overcoming fear, Perfectionism, Writing

Grace-colored Glasses

July 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 54 Comments

 

Have you ever felt like an epic failure?  Have you felt stuck in old patterns that you just can’t seem to overcome?  That’s how I often feel when it comes to my marriage.  But this story is the moment when I learned to put on Grace-colored glasses and see myself through them.

………………………………

Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again.  He just won’t leave me alone.

He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord.  Some days I can ignore him and others I can’t escape. And I know it’s Perfectionism and not the Holy Spirit because of his voice.  He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different…

The location of this post has moved!  To read the rest, click here.

Filed Under: Christianity, Marriage, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: Arguments, Christ, Christ-centered living, Christian living, Confidence, Devotional Thought, Encouragement, Identity in Christ, Imperfect Marriage, Marriage, Perfectionism, Redemption, Satan

The Superwoman Myth

May 10, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 29 Comments

Before Reading:  Write down (or think of) the one personality trait that you dislike most about yourself.  Example: I am too shy, I am too loud, etc.  Save for later! 🙂

………………………………….

A few weeks ago, my seven-year-old son came to me after receiving a scolding and said something that shook me to the core. “Mom, sometimes I feel like you expect me to be perfect.”

Immediately my eyes burned with tears because I knew that feeling, the feeling of not being good enough, and I certainly did not want my child to ever fear that he wasn’t “good enough” for me!

Nevertheless, somehow I sent that message to him, and although unintentional on my part, I felt overwhelmed by sadness and then by conviction.

You see, God’s been speaking to me about this issue lately, about my tendency toward perfectionism.

I’m realizing it’s not only frustrating for me, but it’s something that often negatively effects my relationships with others also. For these reasons, perfectionism is the personality trait that I dislike most about myself.

So why do so many of us women struggle with perfectionism and other personality flaws?

Because we have bought into the Superwoman Myth.

Have you heard about the Superwoman Myth? It's the untrue story of the woman who does it all and does it perfectly. When we fall for the Superwoman Myth, we lose sight of who we were created to be!

You know, the myth about the woman who does it all and does it perfectly?!  Wouldn’t we all love to be that supreme woman, to bask in the knowledge that we ROCK at being women – everyday in every thing and all of the time?!

If Superwoman truly exists, she certainly is difficult to find in the midst of our messy everyday lives.

The first contributor to this Superwoman Myth is self.

How many times have you written yourself a to-do list a mile long and actually expected to get most of those tasks accomplished?

And at the end of the day when you have only made it to number 3, how do you feel?

Frustrated?

Discouraged?

Or consider this: How often do you feel like you’re making so much progress in one area, only to discover you’re completely falling apart in another?

Although some of us may come close to being Superwoman on a given day, soaring above the circumstances of messy homes, sick family members, extra hours of work, and so forth, the perfect mother, the perfect wife, sister, friend, daughter, child of God – she does not exist!

Have you heard about the Superwoman Myth? It's the untrue story of the woman who does it all and does it perfectly. When we fall for the Superwoman Myth, we lose sight of who we were created to be!

 

Instead of listening to the lies perpetuated by our superwoman-wannabe selves, let’s listen to the truths our Creator God has to say about us.

Psalm 139:13-14

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”

God created you purposefully and intentionally to be who you are.

While he did not create you to sin, He did create you with your unique personality, your unique strengths and weaknesses. The good news is that even those things we tend to see as our weaknesses can become strengths with His help.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Those personality traits we so often view as flaws have positive aspects to them, my sisters in Christ!

For example, while my perfectionism easily leads to worry and sin, it is incredibly helpful for tasks that require attention to detail.  Likewise, people who are argumentative may be difficult to get along with, yet they make excellent lawyers and advocates for others.  While those who are easy-going often lack organizational skills, they are typically great friends and listeners.

Let’s find the beauty in being who God created us to be instead of wishing we were someone else.

Let’s allow Him to work in our weaknesses to make us strong.



Do you long for authentic confidence, the kind that truly lasts? Join us for 30 days in God's Word as we discover how identity in Christ impacts Christian confidence! This book is for every Christian woman who wants more confident faith. spiritual growth | confidence | insecurity | fear | doubt | God's plans | Bible study | devotional | new release | Jen Stults | Being Confident of This

 

The second contributor to the Superwoman Myth is how we view others.

How many of us can honestly say that we’ve never compared ourselves to another woman…ever?!

None of us can.

Especially in this age of social media, we are very aware of the skills other women have. Furthermore, we often envy those things in others that we feel we are lacking.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to admire others and to challenge ourselves to grow.

We definitely want to be the best

wife,

mother,

sister,

daughter,

aunt,

woman

that we can possibly be.

The problem is that sometimes when we see all of this womanly awesomeness out there, we wish that we could be someone we are not, someone we were never created to be. 

We wish we could be more …

more pretty,

more popular,

more successful,

more creative,

more organized,

– you fill in the blank!

But the beauty of a relationship with God is that it’s personal, unique to the individual.

While all women are similar in that we are imperfect sinners, saved only by the belief that Christ’s shed blood paid the penalty of death we so deserved, we can be very different in the way we live our faith out.


Have you heard about the Superwoman Myth? It's the untrue story of the woman who does it all and does it perfectly. When we fall for the Superwoman Myth, we lose sight of who we were created to be!

 1 Corinthians 12:12-20 confirms this idea:

“ Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body.”

We each have a part to play in the body of Christ, and He’s created each of us uniquely to fulfill the role He’s planned out for us.

So the next time you feel unworthy, inadequate, or that you just don’t have anything “special” to offer, remember that God created you to be you, and that He created you to fulfill your role and yours alone.

His intention is for me to be the best Jen that I can be, not the best Suzy or Katherine or Betsy (or maybe in this perfectionist’s case the best Suzy and Katherine and Betsy.)

No, He simply wants me to be the best Jen.

And the best Jen might look very different from the best Kelly or the best Martha.

Now, isn’t that truth freeing?

Follow me to part two of the Superwoman Myth to discover the third and final freeing truth and to learn what to do with that least favorite personality trait of yours.

Jen 🙂

Read the rest here:


I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?! Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

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Filed Under: Christianity, Women of Faith Tagged With: Christian Women, comparisons, confidence in Christ, Devotional Thought, Flaws, Identity in Christ, insecurity, Mom, Perfectionism, Supermom, Superwoman, work in progress

Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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