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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

What Every Christian Woman Needs to Know about Authentic Confidence

October 22, 2018 by jstults Leave a Comment

In 2011, my husband and I took a leap of faith, one that was ten years in the making, one that required a move for our whole family away from all that was familiar and comfortable. After taking an extended break from paid ministry positions to focus on our marriage and family, we were jumping back into full-time ministry with both feet.

And it was scary, and exciting, and…scary.

My husband worked mostly as a youth minister previously, so this position would be our first real pastorate. And for the first time in my life, I wouldn’t be the youth pastor’s wife, I would be The Pastor’s Wife. To some of you, this might not seem like a big deal, but if you’ve ever transitioned from one to the other, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. 😉

In my naivete, I failed to recognize what an adjustment this would be for me. Suddenly women twice my age were looking to me for leadership. Me!

Becoming a Woman of Authentic Confidence

To say I felt inadequate and ill-prepared would be an understatement. How could I, flawed and imperfect as I was, possibly lead women with so much more spiritual and life experience than me?

What if I misused or abused God’s Word? What if I failed to have the right answer to a question? What if they saw me as I really was, a messy, easily-offended, often-struggling Christian woman?

Where does real confidence come from for Christian women? We cannot experience God's abundant life without understanding this foundational truth! #BeingConfidentofThis #confidentChristianwoman #biblicaltruth #Bible Christian women | how to be confident | insecurity | confident faith | fear | doubt | biblical truth | bible study | Christian growth | discipleship |God's plans |book release | giveaway

You might say that was the beginning, the start of my growth into the women’s ministry leader that I am today, by God’s grace. I learned much about God’s grace in the years that followed. There were successes and there were failures, lots of failures – both personal and in ministry, but He carried me through.

Those early years as a women’s leader caused me to seek an authentic confidence that I sorely needed, one I’d been searching for my whole life long. I was tired of the roller-coaster ride of victory followed by defeat followed by doubt, and then back up again. I was tired of being a slave to perfectionism. I was tired of feeling like an Israelite lost in the desert.

I wanted a more steadfast faith. I wanted that assurance that I was pursuing the path God planned for me.

It didn’t come all at once, friend, and sometimes I feel as if I grab hold of it for a brief moment only to lose it again, but I’m understanding that authentic confidence is not as elusive as many Christian women think!

The Mistake We All Make

The problem is that the world so often begins the idea of confidence with a lie, as in self-confidence.

As Christian women, we know confidence cannot possibly begin with self because self is sin-ridden and hopelessly flawed (Romans 3:23). Any confidence placed in self is doomed to fail eventually. We know this to be true yet somehow many of us have accepted this worldly idea that confidence is something we must manufacture on our own! Even many recent best-selling “Christian” books promote this anti-gospel.

So we tend to make one of two mistakes. Either we downplay our sin and our imperfections so that we can make ourselves acceptable to a holy and perfect God, or we waste our one life striving so hard for an acceptance that is already ours in Christ! We bounce back and forth between the two, trying to find our way to real confidence.

No wonder we are such weary Christian women!

What every Christian woman needs to know about authentic confidence is that it has nothing to do with our performance.

Nothing.

The Christ-confident Woman

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thanks for supporting the ministry of this site!

Friend, the answer you are looking for, the only way to real confidence, lies in understanding your God-given identity. The only truly confident woman is the Christ-confident woman, one who recognizes not only her sin but also her Savior!

And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12

That’s why I put together Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. This devotional comes from my personal experience as a woman trying to understand who God created her to be, a woman who daily sees her own flaws and imperfections yet longs for love and acceptance, a woman who deeply desires to be used by God for His glory, a woman who seeks to be a good wife and mother, and a woman who wants other women to experience real freedom.

Authentic confidence is not a mask you put on and take off, neither is it something you can manufacture on your own. Authentic confidence isn’t the absence of fear or doubt, but a laying down of control and concern at the Father’s feet. Authentic confidence naturally flows from the woman who is Spirit-filled and grace-oriented.

There's one thing you need to know about real confidence! #BeingConfidentofThis #devotional #womenoftheWord #Bible giveaway | book launch | God's Word | the Bible |confidence | assurance | encouragement | Christian women | spiritual growth | identity in Christ | leadership | grace | women of faith

It’s this kind of confident faith that enabled me to write out some of my deepest confessions here on this blog and in Hope for the Hurting Wife. It’s this kind of confident faith that upheld me when marriage became hard work and I grappled for hope. It’s this kind of confident faith that propelled us out of our comfortable and safe ministry position straight into the unsettling unknown of church-planting. It’s the confidence that continues to sustain me.

What if confidence really has nothing to do with self? Find out where real confidence comes from in Being Confident of This, a new devotional for Christian women by author Jen Stults. #BeingConfidentofThis #Christianbook #newrelease #Christianwomen confident faith | Christian growth | biblical truth | discipleship for women | women in the Word | overcoming insecurity | personality flaws | discovering identity in Christ | sanctification | work in progress| being a Mary instead of Martha | serving God | self-esteem | self-improvement | learning who God created you to be | overcoming perfectionism

If you want to be this kind of Christian woman, I invite you to join me. In Being Confident of This you will learn about the benefits of:

  • Overcoming the superwoman myth
  • Having courage to face a giant
  • Avoiding the danger of greener grass
  • Embracing a work-in-progress mindset

Don’t waste another moment of your one life on fear, doubt, or insecurity, friend.

Choose today to ignite the confidence befitting a cherished daughter of the King!

Praying for you, my work-in-progress friends,

Jen 🙂
Celebrating Launch week for the new devotional, Being Confident of This by Jen Stults. Enter to win a FREE copy of Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ - a devotional journey for women of faith who want to experience confidence built on Christ! #giveaway #newrelease #BeingConfidentofThis #confidentchristianwoman  women's devotional | book luanch | Christian women| books for women | books for spiritual growth | confidence | overcoming insecurity | overcoming fear and doubt | identity in Christ | growing in faith |Bible study

Launch Week fun & a GIVEAWAY for Being Confident of This

In celebration of the release of Being Confident of This, we’re having a giveaway! You can enter the one hosted here (see bottom of post!) at BCOT below, but you should also be on the lookout for other giveaways hosted by our launch team members. Keep an eye on our facebook page and Instagram feed for more information!

As an added BONUS, for readers who purchase through the links on this page during launch week only, I’m offering the Work in Progress Toolkit. This is a tool I created last year as an exclusive bonus for Grace Goals, but it fits so well with the themes of this new devotional that I want to give it to you for free. 🙂

The Word is clear that Scripture changes us (Psalm 119:11). When we meditate on truth, our minds and spirits are transformed, and transformed minds lead to transformed actions. It’s that work-in-progress in us, that sanctification that molds us into Christ-likeness.

But He said, “On the contrary, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.” Luke 11:28

The Work in Progress Toolkit is designed to help you saturate your life with truth so that you can overcome the lies that so often hold Christian women back. It contains beautiful 8×10 scripture prints to hang on your walls, as well at a truth-journaling sheet that will help you identify lies you are believing so that you can fight back with God’s truth!

How to get your BONUS

The only way to get this bonus is to purchase Being Confident of This during launch week through the links on this page and email me your receipt along with a request for the toolkit. It’s that simple! I will then send you the link to download your FREE resource.

And if you really want to make my day, you can share the news about Being Confident of This with your friends, leave a review of the book after reading, or send me an email telling me how it’s impacting you. Hearing how the Lord is working in you makes my joy complete. 🙂

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: authentic, Christian living, Christian Women, Confidence, Identity in Christ, insecurity, new book, Perfectionism, Women, Women of Faith

When You Just Want to Be Left Alone

September 29, 2016 by jstults 2 Comments

The truth is, I just wanted to be left alone. After all, we weren’t getting along, we were bickering about everything – or so it seemed, and the last thing I wanted was to have to spend time with him. I didn’t want his usual greeting of a hug and kiss. I just wanted him to go away.

As I watched him walk away, shoulders drooped due to my cold shoulder, I felt a twinge of guilt and remorse. Then I remembered the stress he’d caused me, the fear he’d brought into our home, and I pushed the guilt aside. This mess was his fault, and he needed to fix it.

It wasn't someone or something else separating my husband and me. It wasn't another man or woman, it wasn't job stress, or even distance. It was me...   The Time I Just Wanted to Be Left Alone

Sadly, this has happened too many times in my marriage.

I was the one doing the damage that is warned against in Mark 10:9 –

Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.

It wasn’t someone or something else separating my husband and me. It wasn’t another man or woman, it wasn’t  job stress, a crazy boss, or even distance. It was me.

I was letting the enemy come between us through bitterness that I was letting take root in my heart.

One day, out of the blue, my husband texted me to ask if we could start praying together. I was confused because we do pray together.

He listed a few things that he wanted to begin praying about, together, intentionally.

I took my time answering because…I wanted to be left alone.

I wanted to just ignore his request and wallow in my own feelings.

But that’s the thing about a covenant relationship – God gently and lovingly reminded me of my part of the commitment while I sat there telling Him about how my husband broke his part of the commitment.

Despite all that happened, I firmly believe God called me to stay in my marriage, to see my husband get the necessary help he needs, to champion redemption inside these four walls.

And that’s why I had to check my attitude. I could not continue to let the enemy weasel his way into the marriage that I was fighting for. I couldn’t write about redemption and then stand in the way of it.

Despite my feelings, regardless of the fact that I really just wanted to be left alone, I picked up my phone and responded to my husband.

Yes, I will pray with you.
Yes, we’ll pray specifically for the things that you want to pray for.
And yes, we’ll move forward trusting God together.

In order for our marriage to grow together, and actually in order for any marriage to move forward, we have to set self aside. We have to be looking out for the best for our spouse and for our marriage.

I’m thankful for the Lord’s conviction in my life, to gently remind me that selfishness really isn’t going to get me anywhere. Even though I wanted to be left alone, even though I set up barriers to connecting with my husband, the Lord gently worked in our hearts to draw us back together.

Friends, if the Lord is working in your heart in this manner, trust me when I say that it’s better choosing His way. Set aside your feelings, even just for a moment, and let Him work in your heart.

 

Rebekah M. HallbergRebekah has been completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of the Lord in her life. He has proven His faithfulness in every area of her life, especially in her marriage. She has come to understand the power of redemption and God’s work in her own marriage. Her goal is to be Sharing Redemption’s Stories – encouraging wives who are praying for redemption in their marriage.

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: Christian living, marriage Christian marriage, want to be left alone, Women, work in progress

How to Overcome a Bad Day

September 15, 2016 by jstults Leave a Comment

Some days just getting started in the morning is the most difficult challenge we’ll face all day long.  It’s hard to overcome a bad day, especially when it starts out rough from the very beginning!

You know, the days when:

  • the kids wake up way too early
  • you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list
  • you didn’t get enough sleep
  • you’re so grumpy you feel out of control
  • it’s dreary outside
  • all you want to do is get back in your comfy bed and hide

Overcoming a bad day seems nearly impossible once it has already started!

What do you do when you wake up with zero motivation?

How do you get past a grumpy mood so early on in the day?

What do you do when you wake up with zero motivation?  How do you get past a grumpy mood so early on in the day? Try these 10 tips for turning a bad day around.

10 Ways to Jumpstart Your Morning (and overcome a bad day):

1. Go to bed earlier the night before! I know, I know – that’s the most obvious advice ever.   But it’s true.  When the twins were infants, I forced myself to go to bed not long after they did. I knew that if I didn’t go to bed right away, the next day would be miserable and difficult.  However, now that they are a little older, I’ve gotten out of the habit of early bedtime.  One of my work-in-progress goals is to go to bed earlier so that I can get out of bed earlier the next morning, (overcome the bad day before it even starts)!

2. Shower (or at least splash some cold water on your face). I know there are many mornings that showering first thing just isn’t an option, especially if you have little ones in the house.  I have found that on the days when I have to wait for my shower (or even go without), washing my face goes a long way toward helping my sleepy eyes stay open. The more awake I feel, the easier it is to overcome a bad day.

3. Spend time…

To read the rest, follow me over to Sharing Redemption’s Stories here!

You woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and apparently the little people who live with you did, too. All you want is a few more minutes of sleep, but the to-do list beckons. How will you overcome the rough start? Try one of these 10 tips to jumpstart your morning!

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Bad Day, Christian living, Devotional Thought, Encouragement, grumpy mom, Motherhood, overcome, tough day, Women

The Superwoman Myth Resolved

July 5, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

In the first half of The Superwoman Myth, we discussed how the players of self and others contribute to this myth of womanly perfection.  Today, we finish with the final player.

The final contributor in the saga of the Superwoman Myth  is Satan.

He is the great deceiver and he loves that we fall prey to the myth!

What better way to convince us we are failures than to give us an unattainable goal?

He waits on the sidelines while we struggle and agonize over our own weaknesses, while we look around at all of the women who seem to be living out their faith so much better than we are.

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?!  Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

Debunking the Superwoman Myth

It is then that he strikes – in the middle of that doubt and fear that we’re not good enough, maybe even that we’ll never be good enough.  He knows that if he can get us to focus on our failures, we’ll take our eyes off of Christ.

1 Peter 5:8 warns,

“Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion

looking for someone to devour.”

But Satan is a liar.

The Father proclaims that we don’t have to be perfect because

Christ.

was.

perfect.

for us.

Amen?!  God knows that we are human and that because of sin we are flawed, but the Good News?  He chose to love us anyway!

Romans 5:8 testifies,

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When God looks at you, He already sees perfection because of the sacrifice of His Son. That work is already complete!

So, how do we become the best version of ourselves (the one we were created to be), without crossing over into the abyss of worry and guilt that Satan wants us trapped in?

How do we show ourselves grace and avoid falling prey to the Superwoman Myth?

The answer lies in Christ.

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?!  Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

 

We can become the best version of ourselves by abiding in Him, by spending time in His word and in His presence.

It really is that simple.

It’s not in the details of our living, but in the attitude and mindset behind the way we live that matters to the Lord. 

When we realize that He purposefully created us with a unique role to fill, we can stop looking down on His creation (self), stop looking around at everyone else, and instead focus on Him and His love for us.

When we relax in His gracious love, we allow Him to do the work necessary to develop Christ-likeness in us.  We can be at peace with ourselves knowing that He will continue the work in us and that our Father God already loves us anyway, no matter what!

 

Do you long for authentic confidence, the kind that truly lasts? Join us for 30 days in God's Word as we discover how identity in Christ impacts Christian confidence! This book is for every Christian woman who wants more confident faith. spiritual growth | confidence | insecurity | fear | doubt | God's plans | Bible study | devotional | new release | Jen Stults | Being Confident of This

Now, let’s take a peek back at that one personality flaw we chose during part 1 of the Superwoman Myth.  Let me ask you some questions in relation to your flaw.

Did God create you?

In His wisdom, did God create your personality this way?

Consider this:  Does God create by accident?  Does He create things that are inherently bad? (Think back to the days of Eden.)

No!

Therefore, we can safely assume that the things we dislike most about ourselves are characteristics God intentionally gave to us or allowed us to have.

And …

In their purest, God-given form, those personality “flaws” are not bad. 

Yes, personality “flaws” can certainly lead us to sin, but in and of themselves, they are pure, God-given traits meant for our benefit.  He give us these traits,  perhaps to teach us, maybe even to teach others, and in the process, to bring Him glory.

So, now how do you see your “flaw?”

Is it possible that with Christ’s help your flaw can become the thing of beauty He intends it to be?

I believe so.

That’s why my life verse is Philippians 1:6.

“Being confident in this; he who began a good work in you

will carry it until the day of completion in Christ Jesus.”

My sisters in Christ,

                     don’t

                             fall

                                   for

                               the Superwoman Myth.

Don’t believe the lies from self, others, or Satan.

Instead, listen to the voice of your Creator God, the Father who lavishes His love on you!

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?!  Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

He doesn’t ask us to be superwomen.

Instead He just wants us to be the women He created us to be.

Work-in-progress women.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell His Story, Grace and Truth

This is an excerpt from the newly released devotional, Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ.

 

For the woman who tries so hard to be her very best yet fails time and again. Don't let this myth destroy your confidence! #confidentChristianwoman #BeingConfidentofThis #overcomeinsecurity #overcomeperfectionism Christian women resources | inspirational | encouraging books | discipleship materials | Bible study | how to be more confident | Christ-centered confidence | Christian living | personal growth | spiritual growth

Filed Under: Christianity, Women of Faith Tagged With: Christian Women, Identity in Christ, Motherhood, Perfectionism, Supermom, Superwoman, Superwoman Myth, Women, work in progress

Lessons from 2014 ~ #TheLoft

December 1, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 1 Comment

It’s that time of week again! I’ll see you all in the link-up.
Jen 🙂

 

The Loft is open, come on up!

 

The Loft: A weekly Hangout and Link Up for Christian bloggers
Graphic by Kerry Messer

 

This Week’s Topic: “2014 in Review” (We are getting introspective this week. Share the greatest lesson of 2014 or anything else about this year that you’d like to.)

Next Week’s Topic: “Potluck: Best of 2014” (Be prepared to link up your best post from 2014. “Best” is defined loosely 🙂 )

About #TheLoft

 

The Loft is the place for conversation, community, networking, and Christian growth.

Each week we provide a topic to start the conversation.

 

PLEASE NOTE: While there are many link and leave blog hops out there, we are different in that we ask that your link stick to the weekly topic. This fosters community and conversation. It also helps us practice “topic” writing as bloggers. Oh, and please mention The Loft in your post! Thank you so much!


Monday night, at 9pm Eastern, the linky goes live and all week you can link up your post on that week’s topic.

We’ll have fun topics, serious topics, practical, soul-ful, holiday, and so, so much more…we can’t wait to get started! This is not only a great way to connect with others, it’s also a fun and easy way to establish a writing habit. If you aren’t a blogger, you are welcome to join in by leaving your comments in the comment section.

So grab your coffee mug and come on up! Hang out for a bit. We betcha you’ll be glad you did.

 

To Participate:

 

1. Be creative. Feel free to use words, photos, video, audio, your family pet, whatever, to communicate on the weekly topic. But please stick to the weekly topic 🙂

2. Listen twice as much as you talk. If you leave one link, visit two. Trust us on this one~wink.

3. Be a community. Include #TheLoft graphic and/or link back in your post so we can find each other. Also, share the great stuff you find when you visit around…we’ll be doing the same.

 

The Loft Link Up

 

When you link up at The Loft, your link will appear on 4 blogs! We’d love for you to visit The Loft co-hosts and know who we are: Jen, Rebekah, Leah, Arabah

 

 

Now it’s time to link up!

 

Filed Under: Blogging, Christianity, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: #TheLoft, bloggers, Christian living, Encouragement, Faith, Women

Fall Potluck ~ #TheLoft

October 20, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

It’s my favorite time of week again! Even though I have not been able to link-up with a post of my own the past few weeks, I’ve really enjoyed the encouragement I’ve received from those of you who have linked up. For this week’s  link-up, I’m sharing a post about Joy (look for it in the link-up). Join with us, whether you blog or not, for some encouraging words in this week’s “potluck-style edition” of #TheLoft.

Keep pressing on, sisters!
Jen 🙂

The Loft is open, come on up!

 

The Loft: A weekly Hangout and Link Up for Christian bloggers
Graphic by Kerry Messer

 

Hi Lofters! Today is pot-luck and I do believe this is a favorite “topic.” 🙂 Link up any post you’d love to share with us and we’ll come visit. Oh I do love this little community! Can’t wait to visit with you this week.

 

 

About #TheLoft

 

The Loft is the place for conversation, community, networking, and Christian growth.

Each week we provide a topic to start the conversation.

 

PLEASE NOTE: We want to foster community and transparent conversation with one another, just like we’d do if we were meeting in real life. So we ask that your link stick to the weekly topic and that you mention The Loft in your post. Thank you so much!


Monday night, at 9pm Eastern, the linky goes live and all week you can link up your post on that week’s topic.

We’ll have fun topics, serious topics, practical, soul-ful, holiday, and so, so much more…we can’t wait to get started! This is not only a great way to connect with others, it’s also a fun and easy way to establish a writing habit. If you aren’t a blogger, you are welcome to join in by leaving your comments in the comment section.

So grab your coffee mug and come on up! Hang out for a bit. We betcha you’ll be glad you did.

 

To Participate:

 

1. Be creative. Feel free to use words, photos, video, audio, your family pet, whatever, to communicate on the weekly topic. But please stick to the weekly topic 🙂

2. Listen twice as much as you talk. If you leave one link, visit two. Trust us on this one~wink.

3. Be a community. Include #TheLoft graphic and/or link back in your post so we can find each other. Also, share the great stuff you find when you visit around…we’ll be doing the same.

 

The Loft Link Up

 

When you link up at The Loft, your link will appear on 4 blogs! We’d love for you to visit The Loft co-hosts and know who we are:

Jen
Rebekah
Leah
Arabah

 

 

Now it’s time to link up!

 

This Week’s Topic: “Potluck” (It’s that time again! Link up a favorite post you’ve shared on your blog and surprise us!)

Next Week’s Topic: “Blogging” (The floor is open! Some ideas are: Tell us why you started blogging, your blogging goals, needs, how we can help you. Share your favorite blogging tips and tricks. Woo-hoo!)

 

Add Your Link Here:

Filed Under: Christianity, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: #TheLoft, bloggers, Blogging, Christian living, Christian Women, Encouragement, Faith, Women

Heroes and Heroines ~ #TheLoft

October 13, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

If you stopped by here last week looking for the The Loft link-up, I apologize. Somehow the post I had scheduled never made it live. 🙂 I haven’t had time to write my own post for this week, so I’ll share that with you all later, but for now, please join the rest of us as we discuss heroes in our lives.
Jen 🙂

The Loft is open, come on up!

The Loft: A weekly Hangout and Link Up for Christian bloggers
Graphic by Kerry Messer

Hi Lofters! We have two winners from last week’s giveaway! Sheila, who left a comment on Leah’s blog; and Trina, who sent in her comment via email. Please email Arabah Joy at arabahjoy(at)gmail.(com) with your mailing address so she can get the books out to you. Thank you!

About #TheLoft

The Loft is the place for conversation, community, networking, and Christian growth.

Each week we provide a topic to start the conversation.

PLEASE NOTE: We want to foster community and transparent conversation with one another, just like we’d do if we were meeting in real life. So we ask that your link stick to the weekly topic and that you mention The Loft in your post. Thank you so much!


Monday night, at 9pm Eastern, the linky goes live and all week you can link up your post on that week’s topic.

We’ll have fun topics, serious topics, practical, soul-ful, holiday, and so, so much more…we can’t wait to get started! This is not only a great way to connect with others, it’s also a fun and easy way to establish a writing habit. If you aren’t a blogger, you are welcome to join in by leaving your comments in the comment section.

So grab your coffee mug and come on up! Hang out for a bit. We betcha you’ll be glad you did.

To Participate:

1. Be creative. Feel free to use words, photos, video, audio, your family pet, whatever, to communicate on the weekly topic. But please stick to the weekly topic 🙂

2. Listen twice as much as you talk. If you leave one link, visit two. Trust us on this one~wink.

3. Be a community. Include #TheLoft graphic and/or link back in your post so we can find each other. Also, share the great stuff you find when you visit around…we’ll be doing the same.

The Loft Link Up

When you link up at The Loft, your link will appear on 5 blogs! We’d love for you to visit The Loft co-hosts and know who we are:

Jen
Rebekah
Leah
Kathy
Arabah

Now it’s time to link up!

This Week’s Topic: “Heroes” (Do you have a hero? Did you have one when you were growing up? Do you think it’s important to have others we look up to? Why or why not? We look forward to reading about your heroes!)

Next Week’s Topic: “Potluck” (It’s that time again! Link up a favorite post you’ve shared on your blog and surprise us!)

Add Your Link Here:

Filed Under: Christianity, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: #TheLoft, Christian Women, Encouragement, Faith, Heroes, Women

My Fat Girl Insecurities

August 18, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 40 Comments

I’ll never forget the first time I heard the word aimed at me.

He spewed it out like vomit, his eyes filled with disgust. “Fat,”  the boy accused me, and I believed it even though I wasn’t anywhere near “fat” back then.

I always was a strong girl, a tom-boy with a hearty appetite, a girl who loved sports and climbing trees and running races.

My feminine side appeared on occasion, though, and like every other girl, I wanted to be pretty, to be liked.  I never saw my body as much of a hindrance to those desires until that day, the day he called me fat in front of the whole lunch table.

I acted like I didn’t care about the word, but my eyes burned and so did my face.

I stuffed the word way deep down inside of my junior high self and tried so hard not to hear it anymore.

Not long after that, I remember surpassing my own mother’s weight on our bathroom scales and shame nearly smothered me.  How could I, at thirteen years old, weigh more than my mom?  It didn’t seem fair, somehow.

For much of my life, I struggled with my fat girl insecurities. I learned early on that I would never be the skinny girl.  But I'm learning that I'm not the sum of my insecurities, that my worth comes from Christ alone!

 

During my high school years, I finally resigned myself to the fact that I just wasn’t built to be tiny.

I would never be a size 2-4-6 girl.  My healthy hangout would be the 10-12-14 range.

But my legs were built thick and strong for soccer, volleyball, softball, and basketball, so I called a sort of truce with myself.  I ignored the word within me and began to find things I actually liked about my body.

I liked my blue eyes and  long, dark hair.  I liked my smile. I even began to like some of my curves.  I liked my brain (it’s a good one!) and my athletic abilities.

So the word remained hidden for the most part, only whispering to the surface when my friends were all asked to attend banquet (missionary kid date night) and I sat at home by myself or when we tried on clothes at the second-hand shops in town, shops filled with clothes from China and other countries where my size seemed non-existent.

Nevertheless, by junior year, I was growing in the confidence that comes from Christ alone and the word bothered me less and less. I thought I had won the battle, defeated the Enemy.

When I met my husband a few years later, I never felt more beautiful.  Even though I couldn’t call myself thin, I knew I was healthy, and I was alive in Christ.  He was tall, dark, and handsome, and he loved the Lord and he loved me.

And then I conceived our firstborn not long after our summer wedding and I found myself alone in our country home. My parents and siblings had returned to the mission field, and my husband kept busy with classes and work and ministry.

I grew depressed.

I used my pregnancy as justification for eating anything and everything I wanted.  

Instead of filling myself with Christ, I filled myself with food.

I had already gained about 20 lbs. before our wedding because like any girl in love, I spent all of my free time with my soon-to-be husband, not realizing I was failing to take care of my body.  By the time our sweet son was born, I had gained about 80-100 lbs. (give or take) in a little more than a year.

I can’t really be certain because at some point, I quit weighing myself.

I just gave up.

For much of my life, I struggled with my fat girl insecurities. I learned early on that I would never be the skinny girl.  But I'm learning that I'm not the sum of my insecurities, that my worth comes from Christ alone!

Then, one year our church offered a First Place for Christ class, focusing on putting Christ first in all areas but especially in the areas of nutrition and wellness.  It was just what I needed.

The idea that my body had been purchased at a price convicted me.

I knew I needed to quit filling my God-sized hole with food.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit,

who is in you,whom you have received from God?

You are not your own; you were bought at a price.

Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Since then, I’ve jumped on the bandwagon of healthy eating and exercise… and fallen right off again. And back on, and then off, and back on, and so forth.  Healthy living will probably be a lifelong struggle for me, my personal thorn in the flesh. It’s been a lesson in perservering, overcoming obstacles. 🙂

In the meantime, I’ve birthed three more children, including a set of twins, my body changing with each pregnancy.  My weight and health are still a work-in-progress, and I’m okay with that.

The word still haunts me on occasion, it does.  It sneaks up on me when I walk at the gym or play soccer with my kids.  Occasionally, I hear it faintly in my ear when I look in the mirror, tempting me to give up, quit fighting, resign myself to the word.

Fat.

But I recognize the Enemy for who he is and even more, I know the power of Christ within me.

I know the Father promises to never give up on me, but to complete the work He started (Phil. 1:6).  I know that man considers the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. I trust in my new creation status.  I believe His Word when He calls me “fearfully and wonderfully made.” He says the same thing about you, too, my sisters in Christ!

We are not the sum of our insecurities, for we were created for more than this!

We’ve talked before about how insecurities keep us fearful, and that’s just how the Enemy wants us to feel – alone, afraid, unworthy.  My sisters, our God is greater than he who is in the world.  He is greater than our deepest shame and insecurities.  Our God loves us, pursues us, redeems us, and calls us His beloved.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

Nothing can separate us from His love, not even our layers of fat. 🙂

We are daughters of the One True King, and the value He has placed on our lives is the blood, the life force, of His one and only Son.

Let us then live as children of the Light!

Jen 🙂

Also sharing this post with: Cornerstone Confessions

The Loft is open, come on up!

The Loft: A weekly Hangout and Link Up for Christian bloggers
Graphic by Kerry Messer

#TheLoft

UPDATE: The Loft is now hosted by Leah Adams.

Now it’s time to link up!

This Week’s Topic: “Greatest Insecurity” (We are going vulnerable here, asking you to share your greatest insecurity. How do you recognize it when it creeps up? What does insecurity sound like to you? What do you do to silence it? Any scriptures that help you fight it?)


Next Week’s Topic: “Something Funny” (Laughter is good medicine and after this week’s topic, we all need a belly laugh. Or as one co-host put it, we need to spit in our coffee. Tell us a funny story, share a funny quote, post a funny picture or video, crack a funny joke. Just be careful with that coffee because this is going to be good 🙂 )

Add Your Link Here:

Also sharing this post with: Cornerstone Confessions, Jennifer Dukes Lee, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Wholehearted Home, Teaching What is Good, Sew Crafty Angel, Messy Marriage, Missional Women, My Freshly Brewed Life, Beauty Through Imperfections, Rich Faith Rising, Beautiful Ashes, Grace & Truth Christian Living

Filed Under: Christianity, Women of Faith Tagged With: #TheLoft, body image, fat girl, healthy living, Identity in Christ, insecurity, losing weight, overweight, plus-sized woman, weight loss, Women

Verdict on Your Value Series Wrap-up

May 8, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

Each Thursday for the last few weeks, we have been talking about breaking free from insecurity, comparison, and shame. This Thursday is the final installment of our Verdict on Value series.  If you missed previous posts, be sure to check the schedule listed at the bottom!

Verdict on Value

 

Haven’t we had a rich time over the past six weeks with fellow sisters and the Word of God?! As we wrap up our Thursday series today, we have a final word of encouragement and video to share with you. Please click here to view the video and thank you so much for being a part of this series!

Be sure to catch all of the previous posts in our Verdict on Value series:

March 27th – Kathy from Free to Fly

April 3rd – Interview with Jennifer Dukes Lee (and a chance to win her new book, Love Idol!)

April 10th – Kerry from Plenty Place (Reputation)

April 17th – Arabah from Arabah Joy (Shame ~with a free mini Bible study printable)

April 24th – Jen from Being Confident of This ( Confidence)

May 1st – Leah from The Point (Ministry Insecurity)

May 8th – Wrap up at Arabah Joy’s place

 

 

Filed Under: Christianity, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: Christian Women, comparisons, Confidence, Identity in Christ, insecurity, Love Idol, shame, Verdict on Value Series, Women

Leah’s Story

May 1, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

Each Thursday for the next few weeks, we are talking about breaking free from insecurity, comparison, and shame. We are sharing our raw and messy real life stories. But also, more importantly, we are sharing the truths that set us free. We have bathed this series in prayer and ask now that the Father knit our hearts together and strengthen us to slay this giant called “insecurity” in our hearts.

Verdict on Value

 

Insecurity is like an onion. Every layer that is peeled back reveals something stronger and smellier. When peeled all the way to the core, we find Satan lurking there.

Insecurity cloaks itself in many disguises. Sometimes the insecure seem shy and reserved, while others are just the opposite, jealous for attention or envious of other people.

Although insecurity is not mentioned directly, I believe we find some consequences of it in James 3:16 (NCV).

Where jealousy and selfishness are, there will be confusion and every kind of evil.

Your area of insecurity may be vastly different from mine, but regardless of what insecurity looks like, it all needs to be dealt with. May I share from my battle with insecurity?

The Lord called me into a speaking and writing ministry in 2007. The call couldn’t have been any clearer if the heavens had rolled back and a trumpet-blowing angel announced it. I moved forward, writing a weekly email devotional and speaking wherever the Lord opened doors.

Eventually… Click here to read the rest of Leah’s story

 

 

Be sure to catch all of the posts in our Verdict on Value series:

March 27th – Kathy from Free to Fly (Approval)

April 3rd – Interview with Jennifer Dukes Lee (and a chance to win her new book, Love Idol!)

April 10th – Kerry from Plenty Place (Reputation)

April 17th – Arabah from Arabah Joy (Shame ~with a free printable)

April 24th – Jen from Being Confident of This (Confidence)

May 1st – Leah from The Point (Insecurity)

May 8th – Wrap up at Arabah Joy’s place

 

 

Filed Under: Christianity, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: Christian Women, comparisons, Identity in Christ, insecurity, pride, Verdict on your value series, Women

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Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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New devotional release from Jen Stults - Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. This book is for every Christian woman who wants to walk in confident faith instead of struggling with doubt, fear, and insecurity! self-esteem | self-confidence | self-help | motivational | personal growth | spiritual growth | how to be more confident | Christian women | devotional | Bible study | identity in Christ | superwoman myth | being like Mary

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