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The Honeymoon is Over

July 31, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 32 Comments

It was bound to happen eventually. I’ve only been blogging for a few months now, so I don’t really have much experience to go on. But I think I can say with some certainty that the blogging honeymoon is over.

Blogging, like so many other things in life, was so fascinating and exciting when it was new to me. Every view was cherished, every comment celebrated. Some days I would check the blog first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. It’s the truth; I think I became just a tiny bit obsessed! Maybe, just maybe, I even made an idol of it, to my shame.

I do that, though. I throw myself into new things with such enthusiasm, such big plans and dreams. And then somewhere along the line, it stops being quite so much fun and starts to feel more like work, like just another burden to carry.

Some of you might be thinking, but it’s just a blog! To a certain extent, you’d be correct. It doesn’t feel like “just” a blog to me, though. It feels like part of me that I’ve put on display for the world to see. And there are these nifty little graphs that measure that part of me day by day by day… And some days they just don’t measure up to what I’d like to see. No matter how high they reach, there seems to be this desire for more. And the inspiration isn’t always there. And busy schedules get in the way.

And sometimes…

I just want to give up.

Let’s be honest. It happens to all of us! When that new baby comes home smelling so sweet, and everyone is exclaiming “how perfect”…when that new job is so exciting that you just can’t wait to go to work, and people tell you how happy they are to have you there…when that new ministry that you’ve been planning for and dreaming of finally comes to fruition…when you make that purchase that you’ve been saving up for and it’s just. so. cool….when that mountaintop experience leads you to a faith high that just can’t be matched.

Inevitably, a valley follows that mountain. That perfect baby that slept so well in the hospital cries all night long, night after night after night. That new job has its own set of challenges. That new ministry has flaws, too. That new purchase grows old or outdated. Thus the mountain gives way to a valley. And those feelings that had us on cloud nine in the mountains leave us, and we wish for more.

But our spiritual lives are not lived just on the mountain tops. In fact, those mountain tops most likely add up to a very small part of our faith journey. The truth is that the valleys often naturally follow the mountains , not because anything has changed but because our physiology is built that way. Our bodies cannot sustain a constant state of “high,” so we must experience a “low” to bring us back to equilibrium. And perhaps even more because we were not meant for this imperfect world, so we yearn for something better.

While I know that my faith isn’t built on feelings, as a woman emotions do come into play! How often I’ve wished those pesky emotions away even though I know they serve a purpose. 🙂

So what’s a girl to do when she just gets a case of the blahs and the blogging honeymoon seems to be over? She recognizes the valley for what it is – temporary. She remembers that she is not a citizen of this world. She blogs anyways because that’s what God led her to do, just like she mothers anyways, she loves anyways, she trusts anyways, she clings to His promises anyways, she speaks truth anyways, she leads anyways, and she hopes anyways.

She keeps seeking. Sometimes she even stumbles and falls, and she’s so ashamed of her weakness. But He’s right there to help her back up again. Along the way, she learns a little more of the unfathomable depth of God’s grace. She grows a little more confident in an overwhelming, unconditional love. She grows a little more confident in His timely provision. She grows a little more confident in the work He’s doing within her.

Because He promised that one day, one glorious day, that work would be complete.

And the valleys will be gone.

And the mountain top lasts for all eternity.

And we see His face.

So we wait, like so many others before us.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us,

let us also lay aside every encumbrance

and the sin which so easily entangles us,

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith,

who for the joy set before Him endured the cross,

despising the shame,

and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility

by sinners against Himself,

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

And we don’t lose heart.

Jen 🙂

Broken Yet Not Destroyed

July 26, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 33 Comments

It’s time for Five Minute Fridays with Lisa-Jo Baker at www.lisajobaker.com, when we write for five minutes (more or less) on a one-word prompt that she gives us. No planning, no editing, no stress; just words.

This week’s word: Broken

He didn’t have a chance really.

A divorce early on, a father who left.

A mother forced to work way too much, and siblings who despised him.

Innocence stolen.

He was broken almost from the beginning.

She didn’t have a chance really.

Used and abused by those who are supposed to nurture.

Sold at a price way too cheap for a soul.

Years of love poured out, yet not strong enough to overcome.

She was broken almost from the beginning.

They didn’t have a chance really.

Two broken souls finding solace in one another’s embrace.

Trying to do what’s right for all the wrong reasons.

Saying “I do’s” with no foundation to build on.

A marriage broken almost from the beginning.

It didn’t have a chance really.

Knit together in its mother’s womb.

Ensconced in warm liquid.

A single choice made.

Its life broken even before the beginning.

Broken is everywhere.

Need is everywhere.

Despair is everywhere.

Pain is everywhere.

Grief is everywhere.

Evil is everywhere.

But what they don’t yet understand: God is everywhere.

And what they need to hear: they,

they are broken, but not destroyed.

Because He,

He gave them a chance.

Born in a stable, despised and rejected.

Trading Kingly rights for human weakness,

He became the need,

He became the despair,

He became the pain,

He became the grief,

He became the evil.

His body broken and poured out.

By His wounds they are healed.

Go tell the Broken,

That they may receive Life.

*Disclaimer: I’ve received so many lovely comments from visitors about the ability to write this in just five minutes. However, this week’s post took more than five minutes total. The first half literally poured out, but I struggled with the ending. It was just so dark and so hopeless that I felt overwhelmed by burden for the people I thought of as I typed out the words. So, I took a break to talk to the Lord and came back to it after He reminded me that He was broken, too, and for that reason alone, the darkness isn’t the end of the story! I broke the five minute friday time-limit rules, but I kept them in spirit. Yes, there is grace for five-minute-friday writers, too. 🙂

If you’ve never tried your hand at a Five Minute Friday, why not start now? This week we’re linking up at Lisa-Jo’s facebook page because yesterday her blog was Broken. 😉 https://www.facebook.com/lisajobaker

Jen 🙂

5 Ways to Stretch a Budget: Part 2 (the practical bit)

June 25, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Yesterday I shared with you the first half of 5 Ways to S-t-r-e-t-c-h a Budget. If you haven’t read the first half, I encourage you to do so as it contains the foundation of our frugal living. In these tough economic times, it’s hard to find ways to make a small budget work, especially if you have a large family and are living on a single income. These tips should help.

And now, for part 2:

3. Pray for Your Needs and 4. Buy Gently Used

(these two overlap quite a bit)

Appliances – Finding good deals on appliances is admittedly harder than saving money on other items, but it can be done! Our first action is to pray about it. Remember, the Lord promises to provide for our needs. Our favorite money-saving techniques when buying gently used appliances are to look at garage sales, ask friends and family to be on the lookout for us, check craigslist, buy scratch and dent, and so forth.

Vehicles – We have never had a car payment, ever. When we realize that it’s time for a new (to us) vehicle, we start praying! Sensing a theme yet? 🙂 We know we cannot afford a car payment while attempting to pay down student loans, so we ask God to send us a vehicle that will meet our needs as well as our budget. Praise the Lord, He has always provided the vehicles we needed, sometimes even at no cost to us, including the necessary switch to a minivan before the birth of our twins! Then, we are often able to pass on the blessing by giving our old vehicle to someone else in need.

For necessary car repairs, we also pray. My husband does whatever he can himself, but if it’s a major repair, we usually have to ask for help. We’ve been blessed with some mechanics in the family, but when they are busy we have also turned to church family or friends. If you know someone mechanically minded, you could even trade services – offer to babysit, make a meal, or some other skill you or your husband have!

Furniture – In our home, you will not find new furniture. It’s a luxury we cannot afford, although I’ll admit I’ve been tempted at times! The majority of our furniture has come from garage sales, hand-me-downs, Goodwill, Craigslist, and so forth. We often pray for furniture needs as well, especially when we moved last year and our twins needed to graduate to full-sized beds and dressers of their own.

God provided a set of bunkbeds, a loft bed, a few dressers, a desk, and more – most of which came from one garage sale. We had looked at loft beds online for our daughter’s room since it was going to be quite small, but they were very pricey. We prayed about it and just didn’t feel peaceful about spending that much money on a want. That very weekend, God provided via the garage sale where we found a white loft bed with matching shelves and dresser – all for $50! They wanted to get rid of it so badly, they even threw in an extra desk. Praise the Lord! If we had not been willing to wait, we would have unnecessarily spent well over $400.

Baby Items – We have pretty much outgrown the baby years here, but when we found out we were pregnant with twins over four years ago, I learned a lot about trusting God to provide for needs in this area. He provided a second crib, clothing, a second exersaucer (which wasn’t even a need, really), and so forth from generous friends and even neighbors. We even found car seats we really liked on clearance in one of those moments when you know God is just blessing you for the fun of it! 🙂

I also shopped a lot of garage sales, but my favorite place to shop was the nearest second-hand baby store, called Once Upon a Child. Not only are the gently used items half the price of a new item, but also outgrown baby clothing and items can be traded in for cash or store credit. If you don’t have one in your area, check for another baby thrift store. E-bay was another source of gently used items that I utilized. Last but not least, I often swapped items with ladies at church. For more ideas on how to save in the baby area, read 9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes.

Vacations – We do splurge a little in this area (at least what we call splurging). God has always provided a way for us to vacation when needed.

Now that my husband ministers full-time, vacations are becoming much more of an actual need than a want, and as the saver in the family, I’m learning to see them that way. 🙂 However, the funding isn’t always available, even for a “cheap” vacation like camping. In this case, we have vacationed at relatives’ homes, we have swapped houses, and we have even found some ministries for pastor’s families who help provide lodging. If you are a family in full-time ministry in desperate need of rejuvenation, please visit this site: http://www.lawrencewilson.com/free-retreats-vacations-pastors/ .

Utilities – You can only stretch this budget so far since heat and electricity are necessities (in this country anyway). However, setting the thermostat at 66 or 67 in the winter months and 75 or 76 in the summer months saves quite a bit of money. If you can’t go that far, even a couple of degrees can make a difference.

Consider rewarding your children for turning off unnecessary lights or appliances in the home to motivate them to keep utility costs to a minimum. Additionally, we utilize the budget-billing program to keep our monthly costs even, which is easier to budget for. Consider investing in energy efficient appliances, but only if you have the finances to. Again, if your budget is lacking, pray about it.

5. Do It Yourself Whenever Possible

Haircuts, Home improvements, Home decorating, Lanscaping, Gardening, Sewing, Homemade cleaning products – whatever you can do on your own rather than paying someone else to do is like money in the bank! A $25 pair of clippers lasts a long time – just sayin’. (See this tutorial to learn how to cut boy hair at home and my pinterest board for lots of other DIY tutorials.) Learn how to re-purpose everyday items such as baby wipes. And with the invention of Pinterest and the DIY blogs readily available, we really have little excuse to avoid learning some new skills, right? 🙂

If you have already tried to d-i-y and it just isn’t working, why not trade services to save money on the things you need help with? A few years ago, I promised my husband I would never again ask him to lay laminate wood flooring after we sold our previous home. He was miserable doing it and encountered much difficulty, even with the help of my brother-in-law! But we can barter with friends next time we need new flooring.

So that’s how we live frugally to achieve our financial goals. After 14 years of marriage, my husband has learned to appreciate my frugal nature, and I have learned to allow him to balance it out. Sometimes it’s nice to have the freedom to buy something new, or something that is a want rather than a need. I’m thankful for God’s wisdom in the mate He chose for me!

I’m sure I missed something, but I hope these ideas have helped you find areas in which you can stretch your budget, too! Even if you currently have a budget with a little room to spare, why not consider cutting back in just one area so that you can support global missions or feed a hungry child? When looking around our home, I can see there are things that we could live without even today, so I’m challenging myself here, too. Remember that as with any changes in life, learning to live more frugally is a work in progress. Even small steps can lead to success!

Have a great budget-stretching tip? Share with us in the comments!

Jen 🙂

If you enjoyed this post, you might suggest these practical suggestions for making things last:

http://harvestlanecottage.blogspot.com/2013/06/forty-ways-to-use-it-up-wear-it-out.html

or this post with additional ideas for savings in order to live on one income:

http://yourmodernfamily.com/how-to-become-a-stay-at-home-mom-on-one-income/

or these postw detailing how to save on kids’ clothes:

9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes (part 1)

9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes (part 2)

Also linking up at:

Power to Produce

June 5, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

If you are anything like me, then cleaning out the fridge is low on the totem pole. You might occasionally reach in for some sustenance and pull out rotten food instead. Instead of giving life and energy, the food is wasted, worthless, and sometimes even downright disgusting.

Our spiritual fruits can be that way, too! Have you ever tested your fruit? Held it up to the Lamp, the faithful Word of the Lord?

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

joy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,self-control;

against such things there is no law.

In my bible, beside this passage I have written two small words: the test. Do you want to know how closely you are walking with the Lord? Examine your fruit of the Spirit! Do they pass the test? Are you overflowing with patience, joy, peace, kindness, love, goodness and so on?

All too often I find myself trying to produce these fruit all on my own. I wake up in the morning thinking, I’m going to be patient with my children today. I’m going to be kind and loving to my husband. And later in the day, when strength runs low, I feel frustrated and out of control. I wonder, “Why am I acting this way? What is the matter with me today?” as if some sort of spell has come over me, and I’ve been rendered incapable of obedience.

Finish reading this post by following the link to its new location here.

How to Overcome a Bad Day

June 4, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 5 Comments

Some days just getting started in the morning is the most difficult challenge we’ll face all day long. It’s hard to overcome, especially when a day starts out bad from the beginning!

You know, the days when:

the kids wake up way too early
you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list
you didn’t get enough sleep
you’re so grumpy you feel out of control
it’s rainy and dreary outside
all you want to do is get back in your comfy bed and hide

Overcoming a bad day is hard to do once it has already started!

What do you do when you wake up with zero motivation?

How do you get past a grumpy mood so early on in the day?

Today I’m honored to guest post over at my cousin Angie’s blog. I’ll be sharing ten tips for getting your inner motor going first thing in the morning. Just click the picture below to read the full post at her site:

Be sure to leave some comments for us and give us your best advice for dealing with a not-so-great morning!

Jen 🙂

A Blogger’s Prayer

June 3, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 24 Comments

This weekend marked the one month birthday of this blog, Being Confident of This. It’s a blog I started, but I’ve decided not to call it my blog anymore because it really isn’t. It’s God’s blog. The reason I say it’s His blog is because He’s done greater things for it in this short time than I could have ever imagined!

I’m happy to tell you that today “Being Confident of This” is being featured on two other blogs! Exciting! 🙂 My cousin, Angie, at http://www.angieknutson.com/ has been a huge help to me in my blogging journey this far. She has a wealth of knowledge and has been kind enough to share it with me, in spite of her own busy schedule, on multiple occasions. I really appreciate her support! Tomorrow she’ll be sharing a brand new post from me about how to handle dreary mornings, so stay tuned for that!!

So far, He’s used this blog to reach others, but even more, He’s used it to reach me. How often do we set out in life to lead others, to teach them, only to realize we are being taught ourselves? That’s how I feel about this whole blogging experience so far. 🙂

So, here’s my prayer as I continue on in this journey:

I see what you did there, God. I see how you used that post about Mary Moments in a Martha World to remind me that the best thing is spending time with you. I see how the post about being a Transformer convicted me to live out truth in love. I see that the biggest flaw in our Sanity Saving Chore Charts is whether or not we as parents are consistent in our follow-up.

At the same time, Lord, I’m learning that I have to be careful with this blogging thing. I heard my little boy the other day when he said I was spending too much time on the computer. I know I need to watch how much time I pour into this. I have to find balance between my time with you and blogging and family and church. It’s not easy, but I know You’ll help me. I see now that it’s part of the process, part of that work in progress.

Father, I’m also learning that you just want me to be me and to trust You to give me the words to say. When I try to create a fabulous post on my own – it flops. 🙂 When I trust You for the message, it soars. I see how that works, God, and I’m trying to get out of the way so that You can use me.

I also see, Lord, the potential to find my worth in the numbers (now I know what my pastoring husband feels like!). I don’t want numbers to be a measure of who I am. I want who I am to be found in You alone. Help me to be obedient to You in sharing the messages You give without worrying about how many people are visiting today, tomorrow, or the next day. Help me to remember that the value is in the obedience to You.

Most of all, Lord, I want to remember that it was Your idea to create this blog, not mine! Like anything else in my life, it ultimately belongs to You. Help me to surrender that control! Help me to remember that You can bring an audience all on Your own with no help from me. I’m simply the vessel. Make me a humble vessel.

Thank You, Father, for this amazing journey.

In Christ alone,

Jen 🙂

What is God teaching you lately? If you feel free to share, leave a comment! 🙂

Also linking up at any of these lovely blogs.

When Temptation Lingers Near

May 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 13 Comments

Have you ever felt like the enemy has set his sights on you? Have you felt stuck, between a rock and hard place with no way out?

In those moments, victory seems near impossible. We have no strength of our own for making the wise choice, the right choice.

Instead, we feel helpless and hopeless – overwhelmed by the temptation to give in and give up!

The following story is about one such day…

…………………………………………………….

It’s almost supper time, but the stove top sits empty and no pleasing aromas fragrance the air. I’ve not even yet decided what to cook, let alone made any sort of preparations. Instead, I’m sitting in my bedroom trying desperately to pray while my preschoolers whine for attention right outside of the bedroom door.

My husband, weary from our recent argument, sits slumped over just outside the door at the dining room table. He’s grumbling over the budget and seems unaware of the noise around him.

There is no peace, no quiet.

But I need to pray because I am one moment away from falling into temptation. One moment from allowing my impatience, anger, resentment, and frustration to spill over onto my family. One moment away from blowing any chance at doing right.

At this moment I am certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Satan has set his sights on me; I’m being tested.

Finish reading this article at it’s new home HERE. 🙂

My Monday Morning Confession

April 29, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 26 Comments

Yesterday was Sunday. Yesterday I was so excited about actually starting this blog (and not just talking about it), about the potential to reach others, like myself, and encourage them, spur them on.

Yesterday, I was swept up in awe of God and the paths He leads us down, often paths we might not have chosen for ourselves. I was typing out oh-so-many ideas at once. I was working and re-working potential posts and the format of the blog itself.

I was confident.

I was on FIRE!

But today is Monday. Today brings with it

Today brings with it uncertainty and doubt, perhaps mixed with a little fear that I’ve gotten myself in waaaaaaay over my head.

Today, after having looked around at fellow faith bloggers, I’m feeling insignificant, untalented, and overwhelmed. Maybe even a little foolish. Today I’m tempted to listen to that voice that says, “What were you thinking??”

Isn’t that how it starts, though?

For one second we take our eyes off of the Father, and suddenly we’re bombarded by these devastating untruths.

Insignificant – it’s an untruth straight from the depths of self and Satan. Self tells me I need to create something I can be proud of, something of worth. Self tells me to be careful; don’t let your pride be wounded. Self makes it about me instead of about Christ.

Then Satan, being the opportunist he is, inserts his voice…insignificant. Wouldn’t he love for all of us women of faith to believe that?! It makes his destructive work so much easier to accomplish!

Thank the Lord that we have His word, the Sword of the Spirit, to combat these untruths. Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” He “knit” us together in our mother’s wombs. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He has loved us with “an everlasting love.”

And His Son Jesus, His one and only, perfect Son calls us His brothers and sisters. That doesn’t sound so insignificant to me. These are just a few nuggets from a gold mine of Scriptures detailing the Father’s love for us.

Even more, consider Romans 5:8, which says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” If nothing more, surely that nugget alone makes us significant! For a Father to sacrifice His only Son in my place while I remained a helpless and unworthy sinner, means that He places extraordinarily great value on me.

And on you, friend.

What a comfort for a Monday morning!

So, if you’re like me today, and the reality of a Monday morning world has dampened your Sunday fire, remember who you are.

You are the redeemed,

the beloved,

the chosen,

the loved-beyond-measure child of the Most High.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can confidently conquer that Monday world!

Epheisans 6:10 – 17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Arm yourselves, friends,

Jen : )

Sharing with: Grace and Truth