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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

7 Tips for a More Peaceful Christmas

December 17, 2018 by jstults Leave a Comment

Several Christmases ago, as I looked at the family calendar, my heart hardened with resentment. For a season said to bring joy and light and peace, it was only bringing me stress!

In addition to my overwhelmed schedule, the desire to provide gifts for our family led to financial stress. And then there was our marriage… Due to my husband’s PTSD and years of repeated struggle during the holiday season, we barely dared to hope for a completely peaceful Christmas.

Peace is what I desperately longed for, yet peace seemed distant and unreachable.

It shouldn’t be this way for a Christian woman, I thought.

I should be radiating peace now more than ever in anticipation of Jesus’ birthday! Christmas celebrations are supposed to be fun, not stressful, so why am I so discouraged and weary?

Friend, as much as Hallmark and Hollywood tell us otherwise, there’s nothing perfect about the Christmas season!

Problems don’t magically disappear, relationships often remain strained, and Christians, even strong Christians, still struggle with sin.

Because we live in a fallen world, sin and suffering taint our  Christmas joy. Scripture speaks of how all of creation groans in anticipation of that day when Christ’s return ushers in the full completion of His love story and a restoration of peace on Earth, a perfection only possible when this world ends and eternity begins.

In the meantime, Christmas stirs up the longing for that completion, that elusive perfection we so desire. So as we observe the hard parts of our everyday lives side-by-side with our expectations of joy and light and love, we feel dissatisfied.

And praise God that we do, for this world is not our home! We’re meant for a glory this world can never provide, even at Christmas time.

 

7 Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

So how can we reconcile these feelings of longing and hope not yet realized with our ideals of a peaceful Christmas?

The answer is the same today as it was all those years ago – we look to Christ!

Don't let the Christmas chaos steal your joy and peace! Let these 7 tips lead you to a more peaceful Christmas this year. #peaceful #stressrelief #Christmas #faith Being Confident of This | Confident Christian Living | bible verses | bible lesson | Bible study | growing in faith | Christian women resources | holiday tips | encouragement | hope | joy | stress-free holiday | self-care

  1. Adjust your expectations.

Part of our struggle for peace in the face of perfectionism is our tendency to set up unrealistic expectations for what Christmas looks like for our home, family, and even church! If you expect perfection this year, friend, you’re bound to be disappointed sooner rather than later. Perfection just isn’t possible!

Are you lacking in joy this Christmas? Do you feel the longing for more? Maybe that's not such a bad thing! For a Longing, Weary World #Christmas #encouragement #faith devotional thought | bible study | Christian women | Christmas expectations | holiday stress | o holy night | Being Confident of This | why Christmas makes us sad

Read about how overcoming expectations and finding peace in the longing is a good thing!

2. Rest in your work-in-progress status.

If you want a peaceful Christmas, friend, you must learn to approach the holidays with a confidence that is rooted in your position in Christ. If your confidence comes from how well-decorated your house is, how delicious your baked goods, how spiritual your advent plan, or how awe-inspiring your gifts, then your confidence rests on sinking sand rather than on the Solid Rock.

One broken decoration, one burnt cookie, one missed day of advent, or one failed gift – one less-than-perfect moment is enough to bring it all tumbling down.

 

Unrealistic expectations are a set up for failure!! Read how one failed Christmas broadened my view of God's grace! #christmasfail #encouragement #Christianwomen Being Confident of This | Resources for Christian women | devotionals | Bible studies | grace | holiday expectations | set up for failure | overcoming failure | holiday hypocrite | gospel truth

Read about how embracing your work-in-progress status strengthens you for the fight for Christmas joy here!

3. Guard against strife in your marriage.

Did you know that January is the month when the most people file for divorce in America? Christmas places a burden of extra stress on marriage relationships if we let it! Even healthy marriages are at risk for extra bickering and disappointments that result when we realize our family is not Christmas-card perfect. Taking a family photo alone can be quite the ordeal, am I right?! 😉

The Enemy knows this to be true, and it seems he works overtime to create distance in families during the Christmas season. As Christians, we must be on guard, lest we allow him to rob us of our Christmas joy!

How to set your marriage up for success this Christmas! Hope for the Hurting Wife sale|Being Confident of This|Christian women|Bible study|encouragement|devotional thought|inspiration|growing in Christ|progress|perfectionism|marriage|marriage help #marriage #hope #Christianbook

Read about how to protect your marriage as a necessary step toward a peaceful Christmas here!

You can also read about how to survive Christmas as a hurting wife in my friend and co-author Rebekah’s piece here.

You can experience peace this Christmas even if your marriage isn't perfect! #marriagetips #hopeformarriage #encouragement #Christmas Being Confident of This | work in progress marriage | marriage encouragement | Hope for the Hurting Wife | unhappy marriage at Christmas | unloving husband | unloving wife | difficult marriage | marriage advice

4. Focus on what your family really needs most.

In the commercialism of Christmas, we parents tend to worry over Christmas gifts. After all, we want to bless our children and demonstrate our love for them in the same way our Father God did for us – through a gift.

While there’s nothing wrong with gift-giving, if finances are tight or if children have asked for one of those impossible gifts that parents have no control over, we can easily feel like we’re unable to give our kids what the world would call a “good” Christmas. Feeling inadequate hardly leads to a peaceful Christmas, does it?

Whether your world has been turned completely upside down or this year has just been more challenging than most, rest assured that you can give your children what they really need this Christmas, friend!

You can give your kids a good Christmas without health, without money, without extravagance... How to Give Your Kids a Good Christmas from Being Confident of This #Christmas #kids #parentingtips #gifts best Christmas present | Christian family | Christian parenting | mom life | motherhood | purposeful parenting | teaching kids about Christ at Christmas | keeping Christ in Christmas

Read about the best way to give your kids a good Christmas here.

5. Let go of Holiday guilt!

If you’re a woman of faith who has children, then you know the emphasis of keeping Christ in Christmas, right?

Good Christian mamas are supposed to purchase or create thoughtful gifts, maintain an atmosphere of peace in our homes, and participate in all of the joyous programs and celebrations, and on top of that we’re also supposed to teach our children the real meaning of Christmas at the same time, too.

Sometimes all of that pressure to perform adds up to a burden of holiday guilt, doesn’t it? And with it, our desire for a peaceful Christmas slips quietly away…

How can busy moms fit in an advent plan that works for the whole family? Overcome holiday guilt by... #busymoms #simpleadvent #Christianfamily #parentingtips Being Confident of This | devotional | Bible study | advent plan | family advent | advent for kids | kids Christmas activities | Christmas bucket list | Christmas traditions

Read about overcoming guilt by simplifying advent here!

And follow my friend Aimee’s tips for simplifying all of your Christmas plans here. I love how she says she doesn’t have to make pies anymore! 😉

If you want more peace this Christmas, follow these easy steps! #peacefulChristmas #simplify #holidaytips Being Confident of This | how to have a more peaceful Christmas | less holiday stress | more joy | Christian women | devotional thought | Bible study | tips | advice | encouragement

6. Look for peace in the right places.

A peaceful Christmas doesn’t happen by accident, friend.

No, a peaceful Christmas requires intentional action to keep ourselves grounded in God’s truth. Only then can we ignore the holiday hype in favor of realistic expectations in this season of joy! The good news is that there are practical steps we can take toward peace this year.

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Read these tips on how to savor the season and have a meaningful Christmas here! (and this one comes with a FREE printable – my Christmas gift to you)

You can also find more practical tips on how to keep first things first this Christmas season for a more peaceful Christmas here (and another FREE printable!). I appreciate this author’s take on Jesus’ example in this area of Christian self-care.

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7.  Be prepared.

I’ll be honest, some of my holiday stress often comes from feeling unprepared and overwhelmed.

As a woman who continually over-estimates her ability to get things done, Christmas tends to sneak up on me!

If you’re like me, then you might appreciate this advice to organize and prepare ahead of time so you can experience less stress – that sounds like a good step toward a more peaceful Christmas!

Follow these simple tips to prepare for the holidays to experience less stress and more peace this year! Being Confident of This #peacefulChristmas #lessstress #holidaytips stress-free Christmas | more peace this holiday | Christian women | Christian family | organize your Christmas | practical tips | Christmas advice | prepare for holidays

The truth is you can have a more peaceful Christmas this year, friend, if you so choose!

Don’t buy into the holiday hype and set yourself up for failure.

Say no to busy schedules and fancy gifts. Say no to unrealistic expectations and the Enemy’s attacks on your character and your marriage. Say no to stress and holiday guilt.

Instead, say yes to Christ. He came so that you might have everlasting peace.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 (NIV)

Your hope and faith in Jesus is the best way to experience a peaceful Christmas!

Jen 🙂

If all you want for Christmas is some peace and joy, then look no further! These 7 tips will help you enjoy the holidays with less stress. #peaceful #Christmas #guiltfree #faith Being Confident of This | identity in Christ | enjoying Christmas | less stress | more joy | more peace | overcoming guilt | encouragement for women | feel like a failure | perfect Christmas | Christian family | marriage | parenting | present | Jesus

 

Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Christian living, Christmas, Devotional Thought, Identity in Christ, Jesus, less stress, Marriage, Motherhood, peace

How to Seek Peace in the Holiday Hustle

December 19, 2017 by jstults Leave a Comment

I stared at the half-dangling greenery, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

Laundry waited to be washed, presents waited to be purchased and wrapped.

My work schedule was full and our family calendar even more full.

I wanted this Christmas to be different than last year’s holiday. I wanted to really savor the season, but I felt like I was failing.

Where was the peace I longed for?

How was I missing it? Where was I going wrong?

Because the overwhelming emotion ruling my heart lately was an awful lot of stress.

Like the world before Christ’s birth, I felt the reality of “sin and error, pining.”

Between book writing, and client work, and church-planting, and home life, it often seems like there just aren’t enough hours in a day.

But I need some peace.

I need to savor this season because I’ve had oh-so-many reminders this year, friends, that our time here on earth is short, our days and hours and minutes never guaranteed.

Are you longing for a bit of peace in the holiday hustle? Christian women|Being Confident of This|holidays|busy|overwhelmed|chaos|full schedule|seeking Christ|Bible verses|devotional|encouragement  #peace #Christmas #freeprintable #Bibleverse

And as our oldest son prepares to head out into the world, I feel that reality all the more keenly.

So, how do we make the most of Christmas without becoming burdened and overwhelmed?

How do we truly seek peace without creating additional stress by adding another thing to the to-do list ?

4 Meaningful Ways to Find Peace in the Holiday Hustle

1. We put first things first for peace in the holiday hustle.

When I feel overwhelmed, I can often pinpoint one of the root causes as a lack of consistent quiet time. Whenever my calendar gets too full, my time with Jesus often becomes less and less. This is a reality we must guard against, friends.

We may even be tempted to justify spending less time in His presence because we’re spending time doing advent activities with our family, attending extra church services, and so forth.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. John 15:4

Truthfully, nothing can take the place of that one-on-one time with Emmanuel, the God who came to be with us.

We’re literally starving our souls when we neglect this most important relationship, and we will reap the fruit of that neglect in our lives. Stress, lack of motivation, discontent, worry, impatience – all can be indicators of a spiritual problem.

A return to right priorities goes a long way toward helping us regain peace in the holiday hustle!

2. We content ourselves with “good enough” for peace in the holiday hustle.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but perfect holidays don’t exist in reality.

When we fail to reign in our expectations for what a “good Christmas” entails, we set ourselves up for failure every time!

I have to continually remind myself this year that some is better than none.

Some exercise is better than no exercise.

Some Christmas baking is better than no Christmas baking.

Some advent devotions with the kids is better than no advent.

Some planning is better than no planning. You get the idea. 🙂

It’s all about showing yourself some grace. After all, would your husband and children rather have lots of Christmas goodies but a stressed-out, grumpy mama, or would they prefer less treats and a mama who is at peace? I can guarantee mine would choose the latter every time.

I cannot have a perfect Christmas, and neither can you, friend. Let’s just toss that impossible notion right out into the cold.

What we can have is a meaningful, peaceful Christmas, and that happens when we slow down and savor the season.

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3. We pray for peace in the holiday hustle.

It seems to me that the Enemy works overtime during the Christmas season. As we plan and prepare to celebrate Christ’s birth with our loved ones, he’s planning for our destruction.

But we need not fear his tactics, friends, because his power is limited while our God’s power is limitless. In Christ, we have the power to resist temptation, to choose peace, to choose kindness, to choose love, and all of the other fruit of the Spirit.

Ask the Father for a special covering this Christmas. I know I will be asking the same for our household – that God’s peace will rule our home, that we will be free to joyfully celebrate Jesus’ birth, that we will be free to enjoy loved ones and gift giving and delicious food, and so on.

Peace, Father, give us peace this Christmas!

I’ll be asking for all of these things that I might be able to give God the glory for the kind of supernatural peace that can only come from Him, and trusting that His peace is already ours to claim. 🙂

4. We seek scripture to give us peace in the holiday hustle.

I can’t tell you how often the Spirit brings a verse to mind that I’ve previously memorized just when I need it most. I’m certain you know what I mean, friends.

God’s Word brings us peace through His promises and His guidance.

So when I was thinking of you all, faithful friends and readers, and wondering what small gift I might be able to give you this Christmas, I thought of what busy women needed most during the holidays.

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Peace.

If you’re already on my subscriber list, you should have received a link to the printable below in your inbox. But if you’re new here, just fill in your information at the bottom of this article to access all of our free resources, as well as join the list for encouraging monthly newsletters.

Above all, take time to seek real peace this Christmas.

The best Peace you’ll ever find came to Earth as a mere babe thousands of years ago, just so He might know us. If you’ve never accepted the gift of His love and salvation, you can do so today. Just cry out to Jesus.

Lay down your burdens.

And let Christ give you peace.

Jen 🙂

Filed Under: Christianity Tagged With: Bible verse, Christ-centered living, Christmas, Devotional Thought, free printable, peace

12 Tips for Surviving Twins

July 24, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 20 Comments

If you haven’t visited this blog before, you might not know that we have a set of twins (boy/girl) who are now four years old. I never imagined myself having twins, and in fact, I had mixed feelings at first (read the story here).

However, our twins have brought a doubled joy to our lives that I could never expected. There is something so precious about watching them sleep side by side or hold hands as they walk down the sidewalk. Observing their unique bond has been a true privilege.

I hope they will always be best friends of sorts even though they are different genders!

Along the way, I’ve learned some methods for dealing with the not-so-cute moments of what can easily become twin madness, and I’d like to share them with you today. These methods would also work with children who are close in age to one another! 🙂
twins collage

 12 Twin Tips for Survival

1. Divide and conquer.  Whatever task you face, it can be much easier to handle one at a time. For example, I read many success stories from mamas who simultaneously potty-trained their twins. It seems that for these blessed mothers, what one twin did, the other followed.

However, for us it wasn’t quite as simple. Our son was just not ready, but our daughter was!  She insisted on using the potty even though I wasn’t trying to train her.  So, I decided one at a time might actually be easier, and it worked! Not everything must be done in pairs. 🙂

OR….

2. Kill two birds with one stone.  Some twin tasks are just easier to do together, such as diaper changing (one right after the other, of course), nursing (huge time saver if you can get the hang of it), going to the doctor, bathing, and feeding snacks or meals.

When you already have all of the “stuff” out, you might as well get it over with for the other twin, too!  I even learned such talents as double burping, which only lasted a month or two.

Part of finding my groove with our twins was learning which technique worked best for which tasks – either #1 or #2.

Sometimes it even makes a difference which twin you do first! After a while, I learned to always put my twin son’s shoes on last because he would try to take them off if we didn’t leave the house immediately.  My daughter didn’t seem to mind the shoes, so I could count on her to leave hers on while I wrestled with her brother. 🙂

For expectant twin mothers and those already in the throes of twin motherhood - these 12 tips will help you survive the early years!

3. Set up stations!  When the twins were infants, this was a lifesaver when it came time to prepare a meal, or work with an older child, etc.  I had a rotation of baby devices for them and when they grew weary of one (after about 10 minutes), I would quickly rotate them to the next thing in line.

Instead of having two of everything, we found we only needed one of most things and thankfully, many of these devices were given to us.  So, at one point in time we had out an exersaucer, a jumperoo, a bouncy seat, a playmat, and a walker (before the walker days, we had a swing).

4. Identify the tough times.  We definitely had specific times of the day that were much more difficult than others.  Meal times, bedtimes, and late afternoon seemed to be the worst for us.  Once we identified those tough times, we were able to problem solve to cut down the stress.  If all else fails, then….

5. Enlist helpers!  By far the best thing we ever did was to accept the gracious offers of friends and family to lend a helping hand.  Many ladies from church took turns helping me with afternoon feedings (my husband worked second shift at the time) even when the twins were quite small.  I would either pump ahead of time or I would take that opportunity to nurse one infant at a time and the company could burp or entertain the other twin.

We also are blessed to have a very helpful oldest son.  He often rocked a fussy baby while I cooked supper or helped our middle child with a problem!  Additionally, for a few

For a few months I also enlisted the help of one of our teenage nieces.  I was able to pay her very little, but she loved coming over to help with the kids. It was totally worth the expense.

Twin mamas, do not be afraid to ask for help, especially in the early months – it will save your sanity! 

For expectant twin mothers and those already in the throes of twin motherhood - these 12 tips will help you survive the early years!

6. Schedule, schedule, schedule.  I wasn’t a very schedule-oriented mom when it came to nursing or even napping our first two children.  Our firstborn sort of fell into a schedule all on his own, and our middle child fought any sort of schedule from day one!

However, by nature I’m a planner, so I like at least a loose form of organization.  And after struggling with our strong-willed middle child, I was determined to start off right.

With two babies at once, I knew that I was going to need to be a little more of a tough mommy in order for us to survive. 🙂

Since our twins were born prematurely, they spent time in the NICU and came home already on a strict feeding schedule.  So, we were already off to a good start.  However, our infant son was not always happy to keep to the same schedule as his sister.

It was hard work to find a happy medium, but I knew I wouldn’t handle feeding and napping at different times very well.  Persistence paid off, and the majority of the time, they ate together and napped together.

Find a sort of schedule that works for you!

The best pattern to follow for those first 6 months or so is: eat – wake time- then sleep, which is the complete opposite of what many babies naturally do.  However, this pattern sets your infants up not only for feeding success, but for sleeping success as well!

You may be tempted to let sleeping babies go undisturbed, but it will be worth working to keep them awake when they reward you by sleeping for longer periods of time.  Trust me. 🙂

7. Invest in the gear that makes your life easier.  Being a parent is hard work.  Being a twin parent is sometimes doubly hard work!  Some baby gear makes that work a lot less difficult and is worth every penny.

For example, my husband and I debated about whether or not to purchase a double snap-n-go stroller.  It’s basically a metal frame stroller that the infant carrier car seats can snap right into.  Thanks to some generous gifts, we had the necessary funds and decided to go ahead and purchase it.

Next to my twin nursing pillow, it was the best purchase we ever made for the twins!

It made outings much easier, especially those I had to navigate alone – going to church, going to the store, going to the library, going to the doctor.  I was no longer confined to the house, which made me and our two older children very happy!

Later we switched to a Schwinn double jogging stroller, courtesy of my father-in-law’s fabulous auction skills, and the last stroller we owned was a double sit-n-stand, which I highly recommend for the toddler to preschool years.  When one is tired of sitting in the front seat, you can switch them out to standing, kneeling, or even sitting in reverse in the back seat.

8. Keep your older children occupied.  Sitting down to nurse  or feed two infants isn’t an easy task, especially if you also have an active three-year-old on the loose.  Sometimes our middle child would escape into another room and I would just pray that he wasn’t destroying anything of value! 🙂

I wish I had known back then about busy bags!  If you don’t know what they are, you need to find out.  Just look up busy bags on Pinterest or Google and find a variety of ideas for quiet play.  I have quite a few pinned on my Learning games and activities board.  Books worked well for us, as well as singing.  Sometimes I would even ask him to perform tricks for me while I was sitting.  And when all else failed I turned to Netflix or PBS Kids.  Did I mention that

Did I mention that having twins also taught me to lower my standards a little?

9. Remind your older children that they are special, too!  Sometimes older siblings have jealousy issues, and then sometimes they have twin fame issues. 😉  Twins not only require a lot of extra attention from mom and dad, they also attract a lot of attention when you are out and about.  People love to look at them and ask questions about them, which might leave your older children feeling a little ignored or neglected.

Going on one-on-one dates really helped our older children when they were exhibiting signs of attention-deprivation.  Also, relatives stepped in often and took one or both of them for special activities or sleep-overs.  Sometimes it’s as simple as mentioning something special about your older children when people are ooo-ing and aaahhh-ing over the twins.

 

10. Remember that it does get easier!  Those early months are oh-so-tough.  I well remember the sleepless nights, the double diaper blow-outs, the duets of screaming banshees, the illness multiplied by two in winter months, and sometimes it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel.  But there is!

Those twins will grow up and while you’ll always have two at the same stage, rather than one, as they grow older it feels a lot less like double duty and a lot more like having two children very close in age.

Believe it or not, our twins are so different in looks and personality that sometimes I momentarily forget about their special bond!

Focus on one day at a time, until you can focus on one week at a time, and eventually one month, and before you know it, you’ll be thriving instead of just surviving!

11. Count your blessings.  On those really rough days, the ones when you barely limp across the finish line that we mamas like to call bedtime, try to let go of the challenges and remember the blessings of having twins.

There are many difficulties in raising twins, but there are equal, if not more, unique blessings wrapped into those challenges.  So when the days are dark, count those blessings.  Remind yourself of the things that you enjoy about your double gift, how one baby catches the other’s eye and both faces light up, how  they “talk” back and forth to one another, even answering one another’s cries.  Remember those good things; cling to them!

12. Pray.  It sounds simple and everyday, but it’s not. Prayer is powerful!  Some days I woke up after a sleepless night asking the Lord for supernatural strength because I just didn’t have it in me.  He literally carried me, not just mentally but physically,  through many of those early weeks or even months.  I know others were praying for me, too – the power was almost palpable at times.

Don’t underestimate the Power of the Spirit; pray for the things you need to raise those twins – for finances, for strength, for wisdom.  I even consulted the Lord on such mundane things as “Should I pick up this crying baby or would it be better to let him cry it out?”

While I didn’t get a direct answer to that question, I was overwhelmed by the peace of His presence.  And suddenly, I realized that maybe it didn’t even matter as much as I thought it did.

 Maybe there is no perfect way to parent, no perfect way to potty train or sleep train or breastfeed or, or, or…  That peace set me free. 🙂

For expectant twin mothers and those already in the throes of twin motherhood - these 12 tips will help you survive the early years!

Proverbs 3

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

If you have young twins or are about to have twins (or even children very close in age), I hope you find this post helpful.  And if you are already a twin mama and you have some advice to share, please feel free to share in the comments!  I love finding out what works for other moms and seeing if it will also work for me.

Enjoy it while it lasts!

Jen 🙂

*This post makes use of affiliate links.  Jen is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Thank you for helping to support this blog!

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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christian Parenting, Encouragement, family, infants, Moms, Motherhood, Multiple Births, NICU, parenting, peace, premature babies, Twins

It Was Ugly (A Five Minute Friday)

July 6, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 37 Comments

Five Minute Friday: Beautiful

The day didn’t start out this way. We left for the beach with smiles on our faces, anticipation building with each mile that passed. We had our swimsuits on, our sand buckets packed, our snack sack filled. We were heading into what was sure to be a beautiful day.

But then it turned ugly.

There was a bee sting and disobedient children followed by a sudden realization that all was not well. Disappointment, frustration, harsh words, and fear all balled up into one, a wound ripped open in the midst of a beautiful day. It was the kind of deep wound that ruins any thought of fun or enjoyment. And the children were watching, and I felt stuck.

I didn’t want to go to the beach anymore. I didn’t want to spend another second within a five-foot radius of him. I wanted to admit defeat, to go home and sob in my bed, alone. I wanted to …

To read the rest, click here and follow me to the new home of this article.
It was Ugly, how an argument threatened to ruin a beautiful day, how to recover when you feel stuck,  hope for redemption of a bad day

 

 

Filed Under: Christianity, Parenting, Women of Faith Tagged With: Arguments, Beauty, Biblical truth, Comfort, Faith, family, Five Minute Friday, Happiness, How to overcome, Marriage, Motherhood, parenting, peace, prayer, Redemption

Power to Produce

June 5, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

Image

If you are anything like me, then cleaning out the fridge is low on the totem pole. You might occasionally reach in for some sustenance and pull out rotten food instead. Instead of giving life and energy, the food is wasted, worthless, and sometimes even downright disgusting.

Our spiritual fruits can be that way, too!  Have you ever tested your fruit?  Held it up to the Lamp, the faithful Word of the Lord?

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

joy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,self-control;

against such things there is no law.

 

In my bible, beside this passage I have written two small words: the test.  Do you want to know how closely you are walking with the Lord? Examine your fruit of the Spirit!  Do they pass the test?  Are you overflowing with patience, joy, peace, kindness, love, goodness and so on?

All too often I find myself trying to produce these fruit all on my own. I wake up in the morning thinking, I’m going to be patient with my children today.  I’m going to be kind and loving to my husband.  And later in the day, when strength runs low, I feel frustrated and out of control. I wonder, “Why am I acting this way?  What is the matter with me today?”  as if some sort of spell has come over me, and I’ve been rendered incapable of obedience.

Finish reading this post by following the link to its new location here.

Filed Under: Christianity, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: Abiding in Him, Bible, Bible study, Christ-centered living, Christian living, Christian Women, Devotional Thought, Encouragement, Faith, Fruit of the Spirit, joy, kindness, love, Matthew, patience, peace, Women, Women of Faith

Peaceful Parenting (No Thanks to Pinterest)

May 17, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 7 Comments

We’ve been experiencing some parenting problems in our home recently.  With four children, it’s bound to happen from time to time!

One of our children is struggling socially at school since we moved last summer and has requested to home school this fall.  While I’m willing and capable of teaching him at home, we want to be certain it is the best solution for him.

At the same time, one of our preschoolers has been demonstrating disrespectful behavior by grunting or growling when I attempt to correct him.  It’s basically the same thing as saying, “NO, Mom!” I wasn’t expecting such stubbornness to surface at the age of four! What happened to my sweet two-year-old?

Continuing in our efforts to parent with Christ in mind is difficult when we aren’t seeing results.

What am I doing wrong?

What should I do differently?

Sometimes when we’re parenting, there is no clear right or wrong answer.

And this is where I struggle.

In the age of social media, it's easy to find conflicting parenting advice. How do we know which method is right or best? Overcome parenting guilt and find peace  by...

When I lack enough evidence to declare one parenting choice as superior to another for our family, I often worry that I’ll make the “wrong choice.”

I can become obsessed with gathering information from various sources in an attempt to make an informed decision. Unfortunately, when I turn to parenting resources (even Christian parenting resources), I often find that they can contradict each other in the details.

In our “how-to” age, we can access a hundred different opinions, or even tried-and-true techniques, about any given subject at any given time.

Which one should a desperate parent choose??

As a mama of four children, I know that not a single method will work well with every child, every time.  Thus, one potential problem with looking to others for help is the tendency to see that repeatedly re-pinned, how-to post as gospel-truth.

In the age of social media, it's easy to find conflicting parenting advice. How do we know which method is right or best? Overcome parenting guilt and find peace  by...

As I was thinking about social media and how it has changed the way we parent, I wondered: what happened to relying on the Spirit to guide us?

What happened to prayer?

I’ll be the first to admit that when I encounter a problem or challenge, I often run to other humans for wisdom first!  After all, it’s natural to ask our peers for advice.  However, consider King Solomon’s humble request,

However, consider King Solomon’s humble request,

“Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?” (2 Chron. 2:10).

You see, Solomon had some pretty big shoes to fill when taking over his father David’s kingdom.  How would you like to be next in line after the “man after God’s own heart?”  Solomon knew he lacked wisdom for leading. He also faced a huge project, the building of the temple! The temple would be a place of worship for generations to come, and that burden rested on Solomon’s shoulders.

Parenting is a little like that, isn’t it?

We know that the choices we make will affect not only our own children, but also our children’s children and even the generations to come.  Like Solomon’s task, our task is also great, for a whole world of lost people is at stake!

The key is remembering Whom our children ultimately belong to.  Solomon recognized that He was given authority not over his own people, but over God’s people and that the best leader for those people was God Himself.  In the same way, as parents we’ve been entrusted with these beautiful beings, but they don’t really belong to us.  They belong to Him.

Here’s how to have peace as a parent:

Like Solomon, we parents should ask God for wisdom to lead them, His children.

Please hear me out; I’m not suggesting we exclude the advice of others altogether. I really do enjoy Facebook, Pinterest, and other social media forums and have successfully used many ideas from other savvy moms (along with a few epic failures)! 🙂

What I am suggesting is that we not forget the ultimate source of wisdom when it comes to parenting, or really anything in life – our Father God.

In the age of social media, it's easy to find conflicting parenting advice. How do we know which method is right or best? Overcome parenting guilt and find peace  by...

In the midst of my parenting problems, I imagine His response.

Trust Me.  Ask ME for wisdom instead of asking others first. Be led by the Holy Spirit and by my Word.  After all, I am their Creator; who better to understand them and their needs, but me?  Persevere in your purposeful parenting and wait to see what happens.

I still don’t know how to best correct our four-year-old’s sudden defiance, nor do I know where our middle child will attend school this coming fall (update: he has adjusted well to his new school!).

Both situations are works in progress because I am a work-in-progress parent and my children are works in progress as well.

However, I do know that in the midst of my uncertainty, I can trust Him.  He is in control. He knows my heart is in the right place.

He knows I want to be a peaceful parent, not one ruled by fear, or dare I even say, by Pinterest? 🙂

My sisters in Christ, if like me, you often feel confused by the wide variety of parenting styles, methods, and opinions out there, I hope today you hear His voice: trust in Me.

If you find yourself lying wide awake at night wondering, “What am I going to do with this child?!,” ask for wisdom.  And then sleep peacefully knowing that although your children have imperfect parents, they are perfectly protected in the hands of the Father.

In the age of social media, it's easy to find conflicting parenting advice. How do we know which method is right or best? Overcome parenting guilt and find peace  by...

I’d love to hear from you, if you are willing to share!

What parenting issues are you struggling with lately?  What scriptures have you turned to for wisdom or  encouragement in parenting?

Jen 🙂

If pressure to be a perfect parent plagues you, you might enjoy:

The Superwoman Myth

  

 

 

 

You might also enjoy:

http://wegotreal.com/things-arent-always-as-they-seem/

Also linking up at:

http://abidingwoman.com/

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christian Parenting, family, Holy Spirit, King Solomon, parenting peace, parenting problems, parents who worry, peace, peaceful parenting, Pintrest, prayer, purposeful parenting, social media, wisdom

Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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