7 Tips for a More Peaceful Christmas

December 17, 2018 by jstults Leave a Comment

Several Christmases ago, as I looked at the family calendar, my heart hardened with resentment. For a season said to bring joy and light and peace, it was only bringing me stress!

In addition to my overwhelmed schedule, the desire to provide gifts for our family led to financial stress. And then there was our marriage… Due to my husband’s PTSD and years of repeated struggle during the holiday season, we barely dared to hope for a completely peaceful Christmas.

Peace is what I desperately longed for, yet peace seemed distant and unreachable.

It shouldn’t be this way for a Christian woman, I thought.

I should be radiating peace now more than ever in anticipation of Jesus’ birthday! Christmas celebrations are supposed to be fun, not stressful, so why am I so discouraged and weary?

Friend, as much as Hallmark and Hollywood tell us otherwise, there’s nothing perfect about the Christmas season!

Problems don’t magically disappear, relationships often remain strained, and Christians, even strong Christians, still struggle with sin.

Because we live in a fallen world, sin and suffering taint our Christmas joy. Scripture speaks of how all of creation groans in anticipation of that day when Christ’s return ushers in the full completion of His love story and a restoration of peace on Earth, a perfection only possible when this world ends and eternity begins.

In the meantime, Christmas stirs up the longing for that completion, that elusive perfection we so desire. So as we observe the hard parts of our everyday lives side-by-side with our expectations of joy and light and love, we feel dissatisfied.

And praise God that we do, for this world is not our home! We’re meant for a glory this world can never provide, even at Christmas time.

7 Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

So how can we reconcile these feelings of longing and hope not yet realized with our ideals of a peaceful Christmas?

The answer is the same today as it was all those years ago – we look to Christ!

Adjust your expectations.

Part of our struggle for peace in the face of perfectionism is our tendency to set up unrealistic expectations for what Christmas looks like for our home, family, and even church! If you expect perfection this year, friend, you’re bound to be disappointed sooner rather than later. Perfection just isn’t possible!

Read about how overcoming expectations and finding peace in the longing is a good thing!

2. Rest in your work-in-progress status.

If you want a peaceful Christmas, friend, you must learn to approach the holidays with a confidence that is rooted in your position in Christ. If your confidence comes from how well-decorated your house is, how delicious your baked goods, how spiritual your advent plan, or how awe-inspiring your gifts, then your confidence rests on sinking sand rather than on the Solid Rock.

One broken decoration, one burnt cookie, one missed day of advent, or one failed gift – one less-than-perfect moment is enough to bring it all tumbling down.

Read about how embracing your work-in-progress status strengthens you for the fight for Christmas joy here!

3. Guard against strife in your marriage.

Did you know that January is the month when the most people file for divorce in America? Christmas places a burden of extra stress on marriage relationships if we let it! Even healthy marriages are at risk for extra bickering and disappointments that result when we realize our family is not Christmas-card perfect. Taking a family photo alone can be quite the ordeal, am I right?! 😉

The Enemy knows this to be true, and it seems he works overtime to create distance in families during the Christmas season. As Christians, we must be on guard, lest we allow him to rob us of our Christmas joy!

Read about how to protect your marriage as a necessary step toward a peaceful Christmas here!

You can also read about how to survive Christmas as a hurting wife in my friend and co-author Rebekah’s piece here.

4. Focus on what your family really needs most.

In the commercialism of Christmas, we parents tend to worry over Christmas gifts. After all, we want to bless our children and demonstrate our love for them in the same way our Father God did for us – through a gift.

While there’s nothing wrong with gift-giving, if finances are tight or if children have asked for one of those impossible gifts that parents have no control over, we can easily feel like we’re unable to give our kids what the world would call a “good” Christmas. Feeling inadequate hardly leads to a peaceful Christmas, does it?

Whether your world has been turned completely upside down or this year has just been more challenging than most, rest assured that you can give your children what they really need this Christmas, friend!

Read about the best way to give your kids a good Christmas here.

5. Let go of Holiday guilt!

If you’re a woman of faith who has children, then you know the emphasis of keeping Christ in Christmas, right?

Good Christian mamas are supposed to purchase or create thoughtful gifts, maintain an atmosphere of peace in our homes, and participate in all of the joyous programs and celebrations, and on top of that we’re also supposed to teach our children the real meaning of Christmas at the same time, too.

Sometimes all of that pressure to perform adds up to a burden of holiday guilt, doesn’t it? And with it, our desire for a peaceful Christmas slips quietly away…

Read about overcoming guilt by simplifying advent here!

And follow my friend Aimee’s tips for simplifying all of your Christmas plans here. I love how she says she doesn’t have to make pies anymore! 😉

6. Look for peace in the right places.

A peaceful Christmas doesn’t happen by accident, friend.

No, a peaceful Christmas requires intentional action to keep ourselves grounded in God’s truth. Only then can we ignore the holiday hype in favor of realistic expectations in this season of joy! The good news is that there are practical steps we can take toward peace this year.

Read these tips on how to savor the season and have a meaningful Christmas here! (and this one comes with a FREE printable – my Christmas gift to you)

You can also find more practical tips on how to keep first things first this Christmas season for a more peaceful Christmas here (and another FREE printable!). I appreciate this author’s take on Jesus’ example in this area of Christian self-care.

7. Be prepared.

I’ll be honest, some of my holiday stress often comes from feeling unprepared and overwhelmed.

As a woman who continually over-estimates her ability to get things done, Christmas tends to sneak up on me!

If you’re like me, then you might appreciate this advice to organize and prepare ahead of time so you can experience less stress – that sounds like a good step toward a more peaceful Christmas!

The truth is you can have a more peaceful Christmas this year, friend, if you so choose!

Don’t buy into the holiday hype and set yourself up for failure.

Say no to busy schedules and fancy gifts. Say no to unrealistic expectations and the Enemy’s attacks on your character and your marriage. Say no to stress and holiday guilt.

Instead, say yes to Christ. He came so that you might have everlasting peace.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 (NIV)

Your hope and faith in Jesus is the best way to experience a peaceful Christmas!

Jen 🙂

The Words Your Child Really Needs to Hear

July 17, 2017 by jstults 13 Comments

“You’re the best Mom ever!” She proclaims, as she grins and squeezes me with her small arms, and my mama heart expands to near bursting.

“Well, you’re the best daughter ever!” I smile back down at her.

And it’s true. She may be my only daughter at this time, but she is also the best.

It may sound like a simple, sweet exchange between mother and daughter, come and gone in just a few breaths. But I know better. I know these words are building a foundation in her, one sweet word at a time.

I say all the words that need telling because I know she needs to hear those words; I know she needs me to tell them to her. I know because I need those words, too.

I need the “I love you”s, and the “you’re the best”s, and the “you’re the beautifulest mom ever”s, and the “I missed you”s. If I, a grown woman, need all the words that need telling, how much more does a child need to hear these same words?

So much more. So much more.

They are the words your child really needs to hear.

So I tell her all the words that need telling – the words about love, the words about like, the words about her character, and the words about her Savior – because she needs to hear all of those important words. She needs to hear them often.

She needs to hear them often.

She may be little now, but soon enough she’ll be heading into her senior year of high school just like her oldest brother. And then she’ll leave for college (Lord-willing), and who will tell her all the words that she needs to hear then?

When she leaves the safety of our home to venture out on her own, she’ll find plenty of messages about how she’s not enough, how she’s no good, how she’s less than.

Those words are enough to crush a person, especially if she lacks a secure foundation.

The Words Your Child Really Needs to Hear

We’ve only a few years, friends, a few short years to speak the words your child really needs to hear. Only a few years to tell of our love for them. Only a few years to tell of the Savior’s love, too.

And they need to hear them because love is so central to the Gospel, so important.

That foundation of faith and love (or lack of one) can help determine your child’s life course. Such a foundation is a refuge in life’s storms, a comfort when staring down rejection, a balm when wounded.

The words your child really needs to hear develop a confidence in them that isn’t easily shaken.

Don’t be shy; don’t hesitate, friend.

Even if the words don’t come naturally to you, tell the words today, the words your child really needs to hear, because we are never guaranteed tomorrow.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deut. 11:18-19

Speak words of life to your family today, friend. Make the most of every opportunity.

Tell all the words your child really needs to hear.

Tell Love

and Truth

and Kindness

and Peace.

Don’t wait!

Jen

Letting Go When They Are Grown

December 7, 2016 by jstults 7 Comments

It happens every time I see his name neatly typed out on mail from colleges: my throat begins to ache as I blink rapidly to stem the pending flow.

He’ll be our first to leave the nest just as he was the first to be birthed, and this year marks the beginning of that long, painful goodbye that I wish to avoid altogether. Couldn’t time just stand still for a year or so?

Why does the letting go hurt so?

Knowing our time is limited taps into a grief that never quite left me after my years growing up as an MK (missionary kid). My tendency is to just shut it out, pretend like it’s not happening, find comfort in denial, because that’s what I did for so many years without even realizing it. It’s easier to cut ties than to live with loss, after all.

But hiding away from loss means missing these bittersweet moments where pride and joy collide with that heavy sense of the approaching goodbye. If I let go of one, then I must let go of the other, and I don’t want to miss the joy of witnessing our firstborn take flight.

We’re losing little bits of him already in this, his junior year. He works hard at his high-level classes, and spends time on quite a few extra-curricular activities. Some nights we don’t even see him until after his younger siblings go to bed.

There’s this fierce, nearly primal, part of me that desires to cling, to hold him back, to draw my proverbial apron strings tighter. On the other hand, my more rational side recognizes that this is good, that he thrives on new-found independence, and that I was doing much the same at sixteen years of age.

And oh, have we been blessed with this boy, no…. this young man now. He’s been a firm yet gentle leader for his younger siblings, always encouraging them to do right. He loves the Lord and often willingly bears the burdens of others. He is slow to anger and respectful of authority. He’s not embarrassed to use his gifts for the Lord’s glory, either, not like I was at sixteen.

I admire his resolve and his confidence in who he is in Christ.

We really couldn’t have asked for an easier teenager, not that there haven’t been bumps in the road, but he’s never derailed.

I know I have to let go of my claim on him, for he was never mine to begin with, was he?

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Psalm 127:3 (NIV)

Why must letting go be so insanely painful?

It’s not that I don’t trust the Lord with my boy, I do. I know our Father has great plans for his future that I can only begin to imagine.

It’s not that I’m worried about who this young man will become because I already see hints of Master Potter’s hand at work, and I’m thrilled with the molding and shaping taking place in our young man right now.

The letting go hurts because the love is deep and real, and it’s had nearly seventeen years to grow in this body of mine that was once overtaken by his tiny life growing in me.

The letting go hurts because he is me in so many ways and his father in so many others.

The letting go hurts because somehow it feels like our family of six will never quite be the same again, as if this year is the catalyst for a chain of events that will forever alter the fabric of not only his life, but our lives, as well. One part of us will always be missing.

The letting go hurts because this mothering has become so entwined in my own identity that it feels as if a small part of me is slowly dying inside. I know my son will always need me, but not in the same way that he needs me now.

I suppose I expected to be used to it by now, this slow loosening of pieces of myself. After all, we’ve been experiencing firsts and lasts for over sixteen years on this wild yet exquisite journey we call parenting.

But somehow, these firsts and lasts feel so different. So final.

I know the letting go will hurt.

It hurts already.

The best comfort I have is knowing that our Father God once let go of a Son, too.

Our Great High Priest understands. He knows what is best.

I believe He will bring joy from this pain just as He brought joy from the pains of childbirth all those years ago.

For now, I will rest in that truth.

Jen 🙂

How to Overcome a Bad Day

September 15, 2016 by jstults Leave a Comment

Some days just getting started in the morning is the most difficult challenge we’ll face all day long. It’s hard to overcome a bad day, especially when it starts out rough from the very beginning!

You know, the days when:

the kids wake up way too early
you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list
you didn’t get enough sleep
you’re so grumpy you feel out of control
it’s dreary outside
all you want to do is get back in your comfy bed and hide

Overcoming a bad day seems nearly impossible once it has already started!

What do you do when you wake up with zero motivation?

How do you get past a grumpy mood so early on in the day?

10 Ways to Jumpstart Your Morning (and overcome a bad day):

1. Go to bed earlier the night before! I know, I know – that’s the most obvious advice ever. But it’s true. When the twins were infants, I forced myself to go to bed not long after they did. I knew that if I didn’t go to bed right away, the next day would be miserable and difficult. However, now that they are a little older, I’ve gotten out of the habit of early bedtime. One of my work-in-progress goals is to go to bed earlier so that I can get out of bed earlier the next morning, (overcome the bad day before it even starts)!

2. Shower (or at least splash some cold water on your face). I know there are many mornings that showering first thing just isn’t an option, especially if you have little ones in the house. I have found that on the days when I have to wait for my shower (or even go without), washing my face goes a long way toward helping my sleepy eyes stay open. The more awake I feel, the easier it is to overcome a bad day.

3. Spend time…

To read the rest, follow me over to Sharing Redemption’s Stories here!

The Superwoman Myth Resolved

July 5, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

In the first half of The Superwoman Myth, we discussed how the players of self and others contribute to this myth of womanly perfection. Today, we finish with the final player.

The final contributor in the saga of the Superwoman Myth is Satan.

He is the great deceiver and he loves that we fall prey to the myth!

What better way to convince us we are failures than to give us an unattainable goal?

He waits on the sidelines while we struggle and agonize over our own weaknesses, while we look around at all of the women who seem to be living out their faith so much better than we are.

I'm sure you've fallen prey to the lie of the Superwoman Myth before - you know, how you need to do it all and do it all well?! Learn how to put those lies right in their place with this final freeing truth. The Superwoman Resolved

Debunking the Superwoman Myth

It is then that he strikes – in the middle of that doubt and fear that we’re not good enough, maybe even that we’ll never be good enough. He knows that if he can get us to focus on our failures, we’ll take our eyes off of Christ.

1 Peter 5:8 warns,

“Be alert and of sober mind.

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion

looking for someone to devour.”

But Satan is a liar.

The Father proclaims that we don’t have to be perfect because

Christ.

was.

perfect.

for us.

Amen?! God knows that we are human and that because of sin we are flawed, but the Good News? He chose to love us anyway!

Romans 5:8 testifies,

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When God looks at you, He already sees perfection because of the sacrifice of His Son. That work is already complete!

So, how do we become the best version of ourselves (the one we were created to be), without crossing over into the abyss of worry and guilt that Satan wants us trapped in?

How do we show ourselves grace and avoid falling prey to the Superwoman Myth?

The answer lies in Christ.

We can become the best version of ourselves by abiding in Him, by spending time in His word and in His presence.

It really is that simple.

It’s not in the details of our living, but in the attitude and mindset behind the way we live that matters to the Lord.

When we realize that He purposefully created us with a unique role to fill, we can stop looking down on His creation (self), stop looking around at everyone else, and instead focus on Him and His love for us.

When we relax in His gracious love, we allow Him to do the work necessary to develop Christ-likeness in us. We can be at peace with ourselves knowing that He will continue the work in us and that our Father God already loves us anyway, no matter what!

Now, let’s take a peek back at that one personality flaw we chose during part 1 of the Superwoman Myth. Let me ask you some questions in relation to your flaw.

Did God create you?

In His wisdom, did God create your personality this way?

Consider this: Does God create by accident? Does He create things that are inherently bad? (Think back to the days of Eden.)

No!

Therefore, we can safely assume that the things we dislike most about ourselves are characteristics God intentionally gave to us or allowed us to have.

And …

In their purest, God-given form, those personality “flaws” are not bad.

Yes, personality “flaws” can certainly lead us to sin, but in and of themselves, they are pure, God-given traits meant for our benefit. He give us these traits, perhaps to teach us, maybe even to teach others, and in the process, to bring Him glory.

So, now how do you see your “flaw?”

Is it possible that with Christ’s help your flaw can become the thing of beauty He intends it to be?

I believe so.

That’s why my life verse is Philippians 1:6.

“Being confident in this; he who began a good work in you

will carry it until the day of completion in Christ Jesus.”

My sisters in Christ,

don’t

fall

for

the Superwoman Myth.

Don’t believe the lies from self, others, or Satan.

Instead, listen to the voice of your Creator God, the Father who lavishes His love on you!

He doesn’t ask us to be superwomen.

Instead He just wants us to be the women He created us to be.

Work-in-progress women.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell His Story, Grace and Truth

This is an excerpt from the newly released devotional, Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ.

How To Give Your Kids a Good Christmas

December 22, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 5 Comments

I woke up feeling a little sorry for myself this morning, sorry for my family, too. It hasn’t been the Christmas season we expected or wanted, and I’m left wondering: how do you give your kids a good Christmas when nothing seems right in your world?

We’ve spent the entire month of December ill now. Influenza spread slowly from one family member to another. Several children ended up with infections. My asthmatic lungs were hit hard and our physician threatened me with hospital time.

Thankfully, it was just bronchitis and not pneumonia.

Just bronchitis, ha.

A pharmacy worth of medicines clutters our kitchen counters still – fever reducers, cough meds, antibiotics – you name it, we probably have it right now. Or at least that’s the way it feels. 🙂

Then, this weekend during our church Christmas program practice, our middle boy began complaining of stomach pain. By the time we had removed costumes and were ready to leave, he was on the floor curled up in a ball, crying. It frightened me because he is our tough cookie, the kid who rarely complains of pain.

So, when he started to scream that his stomach hurt, I left immediately for the closest ER!

We spent a day and a half at the hospital under observation, with many people praying – the world over. The surgeon mentioned appendicitis, but his symptoms didn’t fit exactly. Finally, his white blood cell count dropped, his pain subsided and we were able to go home.

We were overjoyed! He talked about playing with his little brother and sister and how happy he was to come home in time for Christmas. I grinned in the front seat, glad to have my funny, enthusiastic boy back. We were almost home.

All seemed right in the world again.

…

And then, suddenly it wasn’t.

Our oldest son woke in the middle of the night with an asthma attack. Then, I got sick and so did he. On top of that, the only little one who didn’t already have an ear infection complained that his ear hurt.

I’ll admit, friends, my heart travelled straight from rejoicing to complaining because it’s almost Christmas and it just doesn’t seem fair, really. Our children were only back at school for a week, and already ill again!

How can you give your kids a good Christmas when everything goes wrong?

How?

I know I’m not the only one struggling for joy right now. In fact, I’m certain that many of you are experiencing trials much deeper and more painful than ours. If I really knew the depth of them, I’d probably be ashamed of my own complaining.

And maybe you’re a mom like me who doesn’t really mind so much for herself, but for the kids!

Maybe you lie awake at night worrying about life circumstances. Maybe you’re experiencing the pain of loss or separation from loved ones. Maybe your finances are in such a state that you don’t even know where your next meal is coming from.

Maybe you catch hold of joy for a few moments only to quickly lose it again.

Whatever your lot might be this Christmas, know this: you can still give your kids a good Christmas.

You can give your kids a good Christmas without health, without money, without extravagance.

You can give your kids a good Christmas in spite of pain, loss, broken relationships, and whatever other trials you might be experiencing.

You can because He came.

Luke 2

⁹And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. ¹⁰But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people;¹¹for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

He came! Emmanuel, God WITH us – that’s what Christmas is really about. Christ, the Hope of the world, in human flesh, for love of our wandering hearts.

We have to let go of this expectation of holiday perfection and embrace the reality that human life is flawed, messy, painful, even at Christmas.

Christ came right into the midst of that mess, born in a stable – there’s nothing clean about that.

You want to give your kids a good Christmas?

Let go of the worry.

Embrace Christ.

Show them Hope, Love and Peace.

Teach them of the Savior who willingly left Heaven’s splendor to suffer alongside us here on Earth. That’s a Love like no other, my sisters in Christ. He chose us. He chose pain. He chose death, so that we might experience life in abundance.

He did it for you, for me, for them.

He did it “for all the people.”

The wonder of Christmas has little to do with presents and food and fun.

The wonder of Christmas is the keeping of a thousands-of-years-old promise, hundreds of promises, really. The wonder of Christmas is Christ.

Romans 8

¹⁸For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.²⁰For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope ²¹that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.²²For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. ²³And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves,waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. ²⁴For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? ²⁵But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

Do you feel it, friends?

The joy of Christmas is spreading right through us.

It cannot be contained. The whole of creation leaps with joy – He is born! Promise fulfilled, salvation at hand, redemption nigh. Hope in human flesh.

Here’s how to give your kids a good Christmas: tell them the story of Jesus.

It’s the only thing that truly matters.

Clinging to hope and joy along with you this Christmas season,

Jen 🙂

Also sharing with: Monday Parenting Pin It Party, Mama Moments, Mom’s the Word, Wholehearted Home, Missional Women, Tell It To Me Tuesdays

All the Words That Need Telling

August 15, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 11 Comments

“You’re the best Mom ever!” She proclaims, as she grins and squeezes me with her small arms, and my heart nearly bursts for the joy of hearing it.

“Well, you’re the best daughter ever!” I smile back down at her.

And it’s true. She may be my only daughter at this time, but she is also the best. I know she needs to hear those words; I know she needs me to tell them to her. I know because I need those words, too. I need the “I love you”s, and the “you’re the best”s, and the “you’re the beautifulest mom ever”s, and the “I missed you”s.

So, if I, the grown up, need those words to be told, how much more does my little five-year-old bundle of sweetness crave those words? So much more. So much more.

So I tell her all the words that need telling – the words about love, the words about like, the words about her character, and the words about her Savior – because she needs to hear all of those important words. She needs to hear them often. She may only be five now, but soon enough she’ll be heading to high school just like her oldest brother. And then she’ll leave for college (Lord-willing), and who will tell her all the words that need telling then?

We’ve only a few years, sisters, a few short years to tell all the words that need telling. Only a few years to tell of our love for them. Only a few years to tell of the Savior’s love, too. And they need to hear them because love is so central to the Gospel, so important.

Don’t be shy; don’t hesitate.

Even if the words don’t come naturally to you, tell the words today, all the words that need telling. We are never guaranteed tomorrow.

Deuteronomy 11:18-19

¹⁸Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on

your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

¹⁹Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road,

when you lie down and when you get up.

Tell Love

and Truth

and Kindness

and Peace.

And do it today!

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday and after taking a few months off, I’m so happy to be joining my sisters in Christ over at Kate Motaung’s blog. We gather there ever Friday (some of us on Thursday evening) and write a fast and furious five minutes on a one-word prompt. No planning, no editing, no second-guessing. Just the written word. Come join us!

I’m also sharing this post at:

Missional Call, Essential Thing Devotions, Missional Women, Mom’s The Word, A Mama’s Story, Monday Parenting Pin It Party, Cornerstone Confessions

When Gratitude Comes Hard

May 9, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 16 Comments

Some days the gratefulness comes easy like those lazy days of summer when the sunlight lingers and the breeze flutters warm and balmy. No deadlines looming on the horizon. No crazy schedule.

Those are the days when the kids frolic outdoors like all of the Wild Things that they are. We’re happy and healthy and carefree.

On other days, the story isn’t quite so bright.

The winter lingered a little too long and leftover cabin fever rules the day. Laundry piles up in one messy mountain, and the littlest boy who’s been potty trained for more than a year now, wets himself not once, not twice, but three times in one day for some unknown reason.

These are the days when children bicker and whine and complain, and we find ourselves unable to help them because the bickering and whining and complaining is going on in our hearts, too.

But in Lysa Terkeurst’s book, Unglued, I read about turning that attitude into gratitude, and I know it can be done. Because who wouldn’t feel grateful for a healthy child, or food in the fridge, or soft beds to sleep in?

So even when the gratitude comes hard and we must dig deep to find the good in our day, it still comes. It still comes.

And I’m so grateful.

Grateful for grace and the promise of a God who will never give up on me, never quit working in my life (Phil. 1:6).

Grateful for the blessing of a Mom (and Dad) who love the Lord and taught me the truth of salvation.

Grateful for a house full of rowdy, messy children who simultaneously make my days exhausting and wonderful.

Grateful for 15 years wedded to a man who continues to seek the Lord and love me even when life gets a little crazy.

And for so many other things,

I give thanks.

No more attitude, just gratitude.

Because He is good.

All the time.

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday once again, where we gather at Lisa-Jo Baker’s place and free-write for five(ish) minutes on a one word prompt. This week the word is Grateful. Join us if you like!

You may find me sharing at any of these lovely places or here:

Inspired Bloggers Network,

Christian Mommy Blogger, Missional Women, My Freshly Brewed Life,

Beauty Through Imperfection, Managing Your Blessings

Bad Guys Are Real

April 6, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 10 Comments

I love how she chatters when it’s just her and me in the van, her sweet, soft voice breaking through the unusual quiet as we travel. I point out two military jets flying overhead and she asks if they are carrying a lot of people.

“Well, no, these jets are carrying soldiers who work hard to protect us, protect our country,” I explain.

“They protect us? Like from bad guys? Mommy, are bad guys real?” Her voice gets quiet.

I want to tell her, “no.” I want to make her feel safe and secure, but the truth is that bad guys are real. “Yes, they are real, sis. Some people want to hurt others and do bad things.”

From the front seat, I imagine her eyes growing wide with this information. “Because they don’t love God?” She questions, so smart yet so innocent for all of her five years.

I want to tell her, “yes.” Yes, bad guys are bad because they don’t know or love God. They are bad because they hurt others. They are bad because they have evil inside, and they do unspeakable things. That would be the quick and easy explanation, right?

But it’s not the whole truth, is it, this idea that some are bad and some are good? The truth is we all have evil inside. We’re all bad in a sense; it’s called sin. So once again I stop myself from making it sound that simple in favor of telling her the truth.

“Well, yes, some bad guys probably don’t know God or love Him. But really we all have the ability to be bad. We all have sin inside of us, and we all make wrong choices sometimes. It’s only because we believe that Jesus paid the punishment for our sins by dying on the cross that we can choose good instead. That’s the only real difference between the bad guys and the good guys – Jesus. Without Him we would all be bad guys.”

She falls quiet then for a while, and I know she’s thinking about what I said. I hope and I pray that she really gets it. That there is nothing good in us, nothing deserving, nothing “better than.”

Because more than anything I want my sweet, dark-haired beauty of a daughter to know that she cannot, she cannot, be good on her own. She needs Jesus. She needs grace.

Even more than that, I want her to realize that we all need it, this grace, this unmerited, unearned, undeserved, unfathomable gift from a Father God who deigned to love us, a bunch of bad guys, enough to sacrifice His one and only Son.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Rom. 5:8

Yes, my daughter, bad guys are real.

But praise be to God,

Jesus is real, too.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: My Freshly Brewed Life, Managing Your Blessings, Mom’s The Word, Wholehearted Home, Messy Marriage,

Jennifer Dukes Lee, Rich Faith Rising

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9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes: Part 1

February 22, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

Quite a few months ago, I mentioned in 5 Ways to S-t-r-e-t-c-h a Budget that we save a lot of money on clothing for our children, and I promised to share details later on. Well, I’m finally getting around to it! 🙂

Clothing expenses can easily burden a larger-than-average family, especially a family living on a single income. In our home, when we have a budget issue, our first method of attack is to pray. We try to pray for our needs before we even begin to attempt to meet them (of course, we don’t always remember to pray first). And when we remember, we pray for wisdom to be good stewards of the finances God has blessed us with, as well.

Here are 9 specific ways in which we save money on clothing for our children.

Clothing for Free!

1. Hand-me-downs

Since we have three boys, this money-saving technique worked very well for us until we had our first girl (aside from our oldest’s tendency to wear holes in the knees of his pants in his elementary years). 🙂 Save the clothing that isn’t stained or sporting holes in a well-labeled, clear plastic tote for the next child.

Pros: no expense necessary after the initial purchase!

Cons: some items will wear out after several children.

Tips: Do not get rid of clothing (even if your youngest child is a different gender from older siblings) until you are certain you will not be having more children! Also, buy quality clothing whenever possible (find out how to save on new clothing in part 2 of this post) because the clothes will last longer. Finally, If you have no hand-me-downs to begin with, be willing to accept them from others in your circle – family, church family, friends, neighbors, etc. I can’t tell you how many times even our neighbors became the answer to prayers for our clothing needs, especially when we found out we were having twins!

2. Swap Clothing

Find a friend or group of friends to swap clothing with. For several years, I swapped cloths with a friend who had a son older than our youngest boy and a daughter younger than ours. So, she traded her toddler boy clothes for my toddler girl clothes. We also received clothes for our daughter from church family; these clothes had been through two other families before ours! Search for a large, organized clothing swap in your area, or even organize one of your own.

Pros: No extra spending necessary!

Cons: Storage space needed for totes.

Gently Used Clothing

3. Thred-up

Thred-up (www.thredup.com) is an online site for both buying and selling quality, second-hand children’s clothing (and women’s, as well). Once you sign up for a membership using your e-mail address, you are free to purchase. If you want to earn store credit by selling items you no longer need, you’ll want to request a bag from them. Fill the bag up as much as you can, send it in and they will give you a price quote.

Pros: receiving credit for clothing you send in; clothing is well-screened.

Cons: online only store means no trying things on; paying for shipping costs as well.

4. E-bay

E-bay is another online site for both buying and selling, although it’s not solely for clothing. Again, you can sell your gently-used items to earn money to buy what your family needs. Additionally, you might find brand new clothing listed for lower than retail.

Pros: ability to earn by selling.

Cons: clothing isn’t screened; can’t try on clothes; shipping costs.

Tips: when buying on e-bay, please be careful to choose a seller with a high feedback rating. Also, if you need a large amount of clothing, listings for clothing “lots” will give you the best value for your money.

5. Garage Sales

My favorite way to save money on clothes is to buy them at garage sales. By far, yard sales average the lowest prices for gently used clothing. I’m a bargain shopper, so shopping at yard sales is just a lot of fun for me, especially when I find items we really need. Of course, not all garage sales are equal, so I still watch prices carefully.

Pros: fun to shop; best prices.

Cons: seasonal in our area; quality of clothing varies.

Tips: when buying at garage sales, you can buy more than a year ahead if the price is right and if your budget allows. Buying ahead will save you money in the long run. Be sure to store your items in well-labeled, clear plastic totes or you may forget/overlook some like I did last year!

…………………

Click here for part two of 9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes , including more ways to shop for gently used clothing and how to take advantage of end of season clearance sales to buy brand new clothing at second-hand prices! Until then remember: when you are offered hand-me-downs or when you find great prices at a garage sale or even the clearance section, think long-term. Don’t accept or buy only what you need for the current season (unless it will break the budget to do otherwise), but plan for a size or two ahead!

Of course, as with anything in life, learning to save money is another one of those work-in-progress areas. The best way to be a good financial steward is to cover all of your budgeting and spending decisions in prayer. I know I often forget to go to the Lord first even though He promises to provide. I’m not always the best at trusting in Him to provide, but He is able, sisters!

Jen 🙂

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7 Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

Adjust your expectations.

2. Rest in your work-in-progress status.

3. Guard against strife in your marriage.

4. Focus on what your family really needs most.

5. Let go of Holiday guilt!

6. Look for peace in the right places.

7. Be prepared.

The Words Your Child Really Needs to Hear

Overcoming a bad day seems nearly impossible once it has already started!

10 Ways to Jumpstart Your Morning (and overcome a bad day):

The final contributor in the saga of the Superwoman Myth is Satan.

No!

don’t

fall

for

the Superwoman Myth.

You can give your kids a good Christmas without health, without money, without extravagance.

The wonder of Christmas has little to do with presents and food and fun.

Here’s how to give your kids a good Christmas: tell them the story of Jesus.

Deuteronomy 11:18-19