Counting Bedtime Blessings

February 16, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 12 Comments

It’s past midnight now, yet I sit sleepy-eyed in the too quiet house. Our four children are all tucked safely into bed and my husband snores beside me. An extra chill hangs in the air as temperatures outdoor have dipped below zero once again.

I should have gone to bed long ago, but the quiet is so peaceful and I’m feeling so thankful. Not for any one thing in particular, really, but for many small things all at once that pile up to one pretty spectacular life that I just don’t deserve.

And it’s because of Him, our Creator God, that I am gifted with this one life, this one year, this one day never to be repeated again.

So, I’m thankful because in the midst of trial, I’m finally seeing some of the good. I don’t always see it, don’t always “count it joy,” but today I can see the progress.

Today I realized that this time of trial has greatly strengthened our marriage. I’m able to appreciate my husband in ways that I haven’t been able to before. He’s been my comfort in times of need and my encourager in times of weakness. We’ve regained that sense of companionship that so easily gets lost in the daily urgency of parenthood and of ministry. I’m counting that a victory!

Even more, after finishing only part of the laundry and part of the coupon clipping, I felt free to stop and just “be” with them, those fabulous kids who amaze me with their zest for life and their love for others. And again I’m thankful because I don’t always take the time to stop and read books or play legos or look at drawings or dance. I can’t always resist the desire for domestic perfection, but I’m never sorry when I do. Another victory I’m claiming!

And I, I walk away the richer for it. I fall even more in love with these creatures the Lord has entrusted to us.

I notice the way my daughter’s bedtime hugs and kisses always come with compliments like beautifulest or sweetest or nicest or bestest. And when I pay her a compliment in return, her face fairly glows with joy. She’s my enthusiastic encourager.

I notice, too, the way our youngest son really hugs me back, both small arms around my neck and a nice squeeze (but not too hard), maybe even a few pats on the back. He lingers there, not old enough to be embarrassed yet by sitting in Mommy’s lap. He’s my sweet snuggler.

I can’t leave out our middle son, our macho man, who seems unusually happy and eager to please this evening (bedtime is normally met with his frowns). In fact, he asks me to stop reading before his bedtime story is finished so that he will have time to pick up his blankets from the floor (shocking!), the leftovers of a massive tent-fort built on this unexpected snow day. It delighted me because…he’s my energetic entertainer.

The only one left is our oldest son, quick to help, slow to anger. His shoulders seem to grow broader by the day as his voice deepens. He’s developing a hunger and thirst for the Lord that thrills this mama’s heart. He’s my gentle leader of the pack. 🙂

What really struck me this evening, though, was the sense of peace that pervaded the air here. The transformation that love in action has on our children is profound. When they know that in this moment right here, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are incredibly loved, that they are valued for who they are, then they blossom right before my eyes.

No tears at bedtime, no scowling, no stalling…

I can see it on their smiling faces, that in just a few lovely hours, they’ve been filled to the brim so much so that it just overflows in return – love and joy and peace.

Suddenly, I realize that it’s no different for me. How much easier it is for me to obey my Heavenly Father when I’ve taken time to revel in His love for me, His perfect, unfailing, unconditional love for me. Not for everyone else, but for me.

How quick I am to chose right instead of wrong.

How strong I stand in the face of temptation.

How peaceful I feel.

And in me, the joy is unspeakable because it’s true. My Father God loves me. He’s patient with me. He comforts me. He rejoices in me. He blesses me with an abundance of good things.

And even on the tough days, when I act like an ungrateful child, He waits for me. And when I sink to the ground in absolute despair, He sits beside me. And when I’m ready to press on, He helps me stand.

Isn’t it the same for all of us, sisters? If we could just live every day with this soul-deep thankfulness for who He is and for who we are because of Him, then being the women of faith we should be, the ones we really long to be, wouldn’t be half as hard!

Instead, the work-in-progress would come easy to us. The victories frequent rather than few and far between. It would spill right over the edges of our very selves and stream out to everyone around us, this supernatural love.

All of those good things that we cannot manufacture on our own? They begin with Him, through Him, from Him.

Because He is good and His love endures forever.

We can be confident in that Love, sisters, for it tells us who we are.

It brings us victory!

Jen 🙂

You may find me linking up at any of these places.

Energy-burning Indoor Fun for Kids

February 1, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 19 Comments

Winter wears long around this time of year for those of us who live in the Midwest. Usually, our family enjoys the snow because it allows for sledding, building snow forts and snowmen, snowball fights, and other gross-motor, active fun.

However, with wind-chills well below zero at times, winter means a lot more time is spent indoors.

Even in the summer, several rainy days in a row can send my active, high-energy kids into a cabin fever frenzy!

What can you do when you’re stuck indoors and the kids are bouncing off the walls?

This big list of active indoor fun for kids might just help burn off some of that excess energy!

*This post contains affiliate links. For more information on Being Confident of This’s affiliate policy, please visit the home page here. Thank you for helping to support this site!

Indoor Fun for Kids:

Snowball Fight – Yes, you can have a snowball fight indoors and burn a lot of energy doing so! I learned this game from a birthday party we attended recently. You will need a stack of white paper (newspaper will suffice if you don’t have white paper). Crumple the paper into balls – the more you have, the more fun it will be. Dump the paper snowballs into the middle of an open area and let the kids go wild!

Tip: It’s even more fun if you create some obstacles to hide behind.

Bounce around – Several years ago when the twins were younger and I frequently babysat children in our home, we invested in a small bouncy house from Blast Zone. It had the best reviews for durability (the material feels just like commercial bouncy houses), and it’s still going strong 3 years later! Our twins are now 7 and they can still both jump at the same time in it. It’s been a lifesaver on several occasions when the weather kept us indoors.

Another less expensive option would be a small, indoor trampoline like this Little Tikes one, or even an exercise ball. If all else fails, you can always resort to letting the kids jump on your bed (I do!). Jumping uses a lot of muscles group, so it burns off excess energy quicker – very helpful indoor fun for kids!

Ball pit – When our youngest son was a baby, he needed some physical therapy. One of the things his therapist did was to create a small ball-pit using a laundry basket filled with balls. At first, he hated it, but eventually he grew to love it.

Let the kids enjoy active indoor fun by jumping into the pit, swimming in the balls, throwing balls, and so on. Frugal ideas for ball pits: laundry baskets, plastic totes, inflatable kiddie pools, or large cardboard boxes.

Indoor Skating – I’ve found two different ways to create indoor skates. One is to tie wax paper around the bottom of your children’s feet and let them skate away. The other is to use kleenex boxes (or other cartons) as skates – just insert feet into the opening. We only had one usable kleenex box, so I improvised with a juice pouch box. 😉

Climb, climb, climb – Recently I was reminded that kids of all ages love to climb. My husband brought a step-ladder indoors to do some repairs. When he finished, our four-year-olds spent a good thirty minutes climbing up and down, up and down (with supervision, of course). Other options – smaller kitchen step-stools,or a stool your kids might use in the bathroom, stairways, boxes, etc.

What an easy, indoor fun for kids that doubles as an energy-burning activity that uses items you most likely already have at home! Our active boys especially liked to climb, but we were equally surprised by our daughter’s skills (earning her the nickname, Monkey).

Activity Dice – Create a large dice from cardboard or cardstock (the bigger the better in the eyes of children). On each side of the dice, list a different activity to be performed. Examples: do ten jumping jacks, flap your arms like a bird, twirl in circles until you’re dizzy, hop up and down, jump like a frog, crab-walk, do a somersault, etc.

If your child is old enough to find this activity boring, try making it into a competition – game changer! Our kids really enjoy this type of active indoor fun for kids!

Dance the wiggles away – We have Just Dance Kids’ version for the Wii that our younger children really love. However, we also frequently dance to music on the radio or our oldest son’s ipod. 🙂 One of my friends suggested playing “freeze” by pausing the music and having everyone freeze in place.

Another “freezing alternative is to turn the lights off and when they come back on, everyone has to freeze in place (while music continues to play, of course).

This song is perfect for freezing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7JoCCR4OsM

Or try this active song that was an immediate hit with our younger two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dXoiCMyyu4

Dancing burns a lot of energy and keeps everyone entertained at the same time.

Geronimo! – We love this classic. Create a huge pile of pillows, blankets, beanbags, stuffed animals, etc., near a couch or the bottom of your stairway. Jump away! Our children have spent endless hours getting out extra energy this way when we’re stuck indoors.

Pillow Fight – Caution: if you have a child who tends to get aggressive, prepare for possible injuries. It’s a good time to work on self-control. 🙂 Even our teen boy likes to pillow fight when the whole family is involved. What better use of family time than to burn off some stored up energy?

Family wrestling – Nothing is more tempting to children than when Mom or Dad lay on the floor. For some reason, our four kiddos love to sit on us, climb on us, bounce on us, and so forth. Family wrestling is also a good opportunity for Mom to sneak attack Dad’s feet (he can’t get away with four kids piled on top-ha!). As with all active fun, it usually ends when someone cries.

Spikeball – We created this game using punch-balloons leftover from a birthday party. To begin, we spread out in the largest room in our home. Then we “spike” the punch-balloons across the room at another person. Each player receives points for hitting another player as long as it is not a face-shot (we had to ban those during a particularly crazy game). 🙂

It’s a mad frenzy trying to snatch up the punch-balloons and spike them at others while also trying not to get hit yourself. You could also use a regular balloon, but punch-balloons are just a little heavier, bigger and bouncier, so they can travel farther.

Tip: it’s more fun and crazy if you have more than one balloon. Second tip: if you have a wide age range like we do, be sure the littles get their fair share of turns or you’ll endure much pouting.

Other balloon fun – Balloons are great for quick and easy active indoor fun because you can play so many different games with them. Play don’t let the balloon touch the ground, or blow the balloon across the floor. You can even play an indoor version of hockey with a balloon and pool noodles (cut them in half for smaller players).

Play volleyball by hanging a string or a blanket between two chairs for a net. Hang balloons from the ceiling or a doorway just out of reach and ask children to jump up and touch them. Put a balloon between the knees and race from one end of the room to the other without dropping the balloon. Tie a balloon to their feet and try to step on each other’s balloons. The options for energetic fun are endless!

Indoor Obstacle Course – This is an often-requested favorite at our house and with our children’s ministry at church, also. First the kids help to create the obstacles using chairs, card tables, tunnels from a Playhut set, brooms for hurdles or limbo sticks, hula hoops to hop through, inflatable swimming rings in place of tires for an agility hop, etc.

Once everything is set up, they race through it over and over again! I can’t wait to try this winter-themed course that involves climbing a “snow mountain.”

Sliding – If you have a slide you can bring indoors, you can entertain toddlers and preschoolers for quite some time. Since our kiddos have outgrown our slide, we turned our stairway into a giant slide (something I pinned a long time ago on pinterest).

The only thing you need is a few large, wide sections of strong cardboard. If you use an appliance box, be on the lookout for staples that will need to be removed first!

Nerf/Koosh Gun War – Two of our boys received Koosh ball guns for Christmas, and not long after I happened to find refill packs of balls on clearance at Walmart – score! 🙂 We also have a couple of Nerf dart guns and a foam disc shooter from years past.

Sometimes we sneak attack our teenager or Dad, but usually we play all together. Gather up the ammo and have fun chasing each other all over the house. Tip: it’s important to establish some ground rules first, such as do not shoot at the face and do not shoot at windows, etc.

Play Basketball – We also have been gifted a Little Tikes basketball hoops, as well as a classic Nerf hoop that hangs over the door. One way to burn lots of energy is to play basketball free-for all. Much like spikeball, there are few rules to this game other than to get a hold of a ball whenever you can and put it through the hoop.

If you like a more organized game, you can take turns shooting or see who can make a shot from the longest distance, etc. No hoops in the house? Improvise with a trash can or bucket and a small ball or even wadded up piece of paper.

Scary Hide-n-go-seek – A variation on the traditional game, this version is played in the dark, indoors and is another one of our most-requested indoor games. We turn off all of the lights except one or two dim ones (for safety). Something about hiding in the dark with the chance of being spooked really gets the adrenaline pumping.

Of course, if you have little ones who are scared of the dark, you’ll probably have to hide with them. And if you have a dog, chances are he or she might give away your hiding spot by sitting and staring near you or barking. 😉 This is a favorite from our indoor fun for kids list.

Wii activity – In addition to our Just Dance Kids game, we also have Wii sports and a few other games that require activity. You can often find gently used games at a greatly reduced price at places like Game Stop or on E-bay or Amazon. Here are a few that will encourage movement:

Go Vacation

Just Dance Kids

Wii Sports Resort

Sword-fight – Our boys (and often our daughter, too) love to sword-fight with their light-sabers, but inevitably someone gets hurt and we have to quit. So, I really, really love this pinterest idea for creating light-sabers from pool noodles cut in half. Sometimes we make it a whole family activity and even the teenager joins in with us! What a fun way to be active indoors!

Kid Olympics or Ironkid Challenge – We did this once for our AWANA kids at church during the last Summer Olympics. We used frisbees for a discus throw, pool noodles for a javelin, relay races, etc. We even ordered plastic medals online, but you could easily create your own indoor version. Why not have an awards ceremony, too?

Wipeout – I love this idea for energy-burning fun that came from a friend of mine. Use couch cushions, etc. to create a course inspired by the tv show Wipeout!

Giant tent fort – While this activity doesn’t burn quite as much energy as some of the others, it still burns some and it takes a good amount of time to do. Our kiddos recently spent the better part of a day creating this giant fort using a card table, a piano bench, kitchen chairs, plastic totes, a step-stool, and anything else they could find.

We left it up for days until they got tired of it. Any activity that holds interest beyond a day is a winner in my opinion! 🙂 And if you don’t want the mess of getting all the blankets out, consider this pop-up princess castle or this fun teepee!

Treasure Hunt – This was another friend’s high-energy suggestion. Create a treasure hunt where the clues involve some sort of physical activity such as jumping jacks, push-ups, and so forth. Of course, you need a fun treasure like this, or a special snack or maybe new coloring books.

Convert the garage -If you have a garage, consider moving your vehicles and opening up space for indoor bike-riding, roller-skating, skate-boarding, scootering, or even an old-fashioned game of foursquare (use chalk to draw the lines). I’ve also seen hanging ladders, ropes, and sets of rings available for purchse to hang from the ceiling or doorway (guess what’s on my wish list?!).

If your children are very young or you have the inside space, you might consider bringing a tricycle or scooter indoors. How fun would this doorway swing be?!

Put on a Show – Our children, like most, enjoy performing for any willing audience. Our shows usually consist of lots of break-dancing, twirling, and kung-fu-type stunts. Set up a stage area and a seating area and settle in for lots of laughs. (Thanks to another one of my friends for reminding me of this!) While you laugh, they’ll be expending lots of extra energy.

BONUS IDEA for Energy-Burning Indoor Fun for Kids:

Work the Maze – Create a laser-beam maze in a hallway or other narrow space using yarn or even crepe paper. See who can get through without touching or breaking any of the lines. Instant indoor energy-burning fun for kids that takes only minutes to create.

Armed with this list, I now feel prepared for the pending snowstorm heading our way (and any rainy days that might come our way this summer).

Once you’ve drained off the extra energy, your children might settle down enough to attempt some of these fun indoor activities from Coffee Cups and Crayons.

Do you have more ideas for energetic, gross-motor indoor fun? We would love to hear from you in the comments!

Jen 🙂

Our Big List of Favorite Games (categorized by age)

Top Free Resources for Pre-K

Sharing with: The Mommy Club, Weekly Kids Co-op,Family Fun Friday,

More Than a Visit

January 24, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

It’s Five Minute Friday, and the word for this week is “visit.”

Visit.

He came into the world squalling, screeching more like it – his cry so sharp and loud that it was unmistakable, our long-awaited, second-born boy. When we brought him home, we quickly learned he would be nothing like his even-tempered older brother. This one, this tiny red-faced infant, would make his demands known. He would be a challenge to our previous parenting prowess.

Sleepless nights turned into weeks, and eventually months, the worn carpet in the hallway testifying to the demands of our newest family member. We loved him dearly, but sometimes we just wished for peace and quiet or that he would nap longer than thirty minutes. He never slept “like a newborn” and even today, no matter how late he stays up, he wakes at the crack of dawn. His Grandad affectionately nick-named him “The Raptor.”

At that time, Daddy had a second-shift job and little time off. He worked hard and long. And we did, too, trying to just survive that long and lonely winter.

Aside from prayer, it was Grandma’s visits that got us through. She’d often call at the end of her workday just to check in because she had a squalling, colicky baby once, too – me. I was known as the baby who cried. all. the. time. According to my aunt, she once came to visit us only to find my mother sitting on the front stoop crying while I lay peacefully in her arms, worn out by hours of fussing. My mother knew the frustration of the long nights and even longer days of mothering a cranky baby.

“How’s it going today, Jen?”

On the good days I answered, “Fine.” And then I told a story of something new one of the boys learned or something funny the oldest said that day.

On the bad days my silence betrayed me, a silence born of threatening tears.

Knowingly, she asked, “Want me to bring McDonald’s for supper?”

Gratefully I gulped out, “Yeah, that would be good.”

And so we waited, the five-year-old boy, and the fussy baby, and me. We waited for the visit, for the promise of another set of hands and the comfort food they brought. Her presence itself calmed me as the fear that so often comes with loneliness slowly ebbed away. When it was time for her to leave, we wore smiles once again, determined to face the challenges of the evening with faith and hope for better days ahead.

She always called when I needed it most, it seemed. She often still does today. I have no way to explain her uncanny awareness except to say that she’s close with the Lord, and I guess He must let her know when we’re in need. 🙂

I’ll never forget those supper visits, nor the time she gave willingly to be the hands and feet of Jesus to my weary-mama soul.

It was just a visit,

but to me it meant the world.

Matthew 25

34 “Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me;I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38 And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

John 13

34 Anew commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday, so I’m linking up with the brave and creative crew over at Lisa Jo Baker’s place. She gives us a one-word prompt and we freewrite for five minutes (-ish). 🙂 No planning, no editing, no stressing. Come on over and join us if you like!

You may also find me at any of these lovely places.

True Stories from a Busy Mama

September 27, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Sometimes I fail as a Mom; it’s true. Like yesterday when I forgot to put in a load of laundry that happened to contain the soccer jersey my teenage son needed for his game last night. Let’s just say it didn’t smell the best. 🙂

I felt so bad for him and so frustrated with myself for forgetting!

And then there are the times when I forget to sign my seven-year-old’s assignment book every night. Or the times when field trip money is due. How about the times when someone asks you to do something simple, and you agree, only to forget over and over again?!

The truth is that as a mama of four, my mind is occupied by so many different thoughts, needs, and schedules at one time that some things are bound to slip through the cracks. It frustrates me because I used to be a very dependable person….before kids. 🙂

But then I remember something my aunt said on facebook a while back. She told another relative dealing with mom-guilt that she was mothering well. Why? Because this mom teaches her children about the saving grace of Jesus.

And the truth is, that’s enough, isn’t it?!

If shoes go untied and beds go unmade and laundry goes unwashed or unfolded, but we remember to tell our children about Jesus, then we have done the most important thing of all!

Sharing truth, the most important truth in the universe, is the best way to be a “good” mom.

So, if like me you experience an epic fail in your motherhood this week, remember what’s true.

Superwoman is just a myth.

You teach your children about Jesus.

And that’s enough.

Jen 🙂

This Five Minute Friday’s challenge word from Lisa-Jo Baker is True. She’s asking women all over the globe to share their true stories – the good, the bad, and the ugly. 🙂

Sharing with: Inspired Bloggers Network

Hands-on Color Activities

September 22, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 11 Comments

As promised in last week’s Mama Mondays post on Pre-K resources for homeschooling, I have some color learning activities to share with you today. 🙂 I did not spend a penny on creating these activities and probably only spent an hour or two of my time. Unfortunately, the laminating machine and I did not get along at first, so it took a little longer. If you do not have access to a laminating machine (I used our church’s), check with a local church or library. And learn from my mistakes – practice on some scrap paper first. Also, you might consider using clear contact paper as an alternative.

Here are the color learning activities we made this week:

Color Go-Fish

On pinterest, I saw an idea for cutting activities using paint chips from the store, similar to this color matching activity. So, the next time my husband went to the hardware store, I asked him to pick some up. Instead of the variegated kind, he brought home solid colors, but he did remember to get several of each. Since they weren’t the kind I wanted for cutting practice, I decided to make a Color Go-fish game out of them. The samples themselves were pretty flimsy, so we glued them onto card-stock. If you don’t have card-stock on hand, try using index cards. The twins were happy to practice using their glue-sticks, and I was glad for an adhesive that dries quickly. If you don’t plan to laminate them, I would use a better adhesive, though.

I was already planning on doing some laminating, so I decided to laminate them as well. Now they’re practically indestructible, which is good for our son. 🙂 Our daughter picked up on this color learning game rather quickly, but our son is still learning the rules and the right questions to ask. They both really enjoyed it, though, and have asked to play again since the first time we played. Color Go-Fish is a really fun, hands-on way to learn colors, and we’ll probably use it for shapes, numbers, and letters as soon as I can make up more cards.

Color/Shape Hop

Our son lacks interest for much table work, so I’ve been searching for some more active ways to practice shapes and colors. One neat idea I found on pinterest was to use masking tape to make shapes on the floor. However, since I want to work on colors, as well, I decided to cut out large shapes from colored card-stock and laminate them. Then, we put them out on the floor and say, “Hop on red!” or if you want to include the shape as well, you could say, “Hop on the red heart!” Since we have two preschoolers, I’ll probably give each child his or her own turn so that they don’t fight over the shapes. Once we practice colors, then we use the same activity to practice shapes.

Color Sorting Mats

My husband picked up enough paint chips that I had extras once I made the Color Go-Fish game. I decided to laminate the extra set and use them for color sorting. At the moment, all we had to sort were some colored pom-poms and some beads, so I had our second-grader use one of my scrap-booking paper punches to punch out stars from the leftover shape paper scraps. He had a lot of fun using the punch and now I have stars for our preschoolers to color sort, as well!

I also plan to use our Hi-Ho Cherry-O game for some color sorting. Our twins love to play with the game pieces, so I figure it’s the perfect opportunity for some hands-on learning. We’ll probably practice counting while we’re at it, too. 🙂

For more ideas on Color learning activities:

http://www.childcareland.com/teach10.html

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/59532026297549568/

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/59532026297549599/

Last week we focused on the color green, and this week we plan to focus on the color blue. For our daughter, who already understands color, I’ll do more patterning activities to give her more of a challenge.

That’s all for this week!

Jen 🙂

You may find me linking up at any of these lovely blogs.

My Everyday Worship

August 30, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 22 Comments

Everyday Worship…

It’s not about church or silence or lengthy prayer or even calm quiet with Him.

It’s about living and loving and serving amidst othe chaos of snotty noses and dirty dishes and kids who just can’t seem to get along.

My everyday worship looks more like…

Doing dishes with a song in my heart, or teaching my preschoolers about patience.

Folding laundry even though my eyes are sleepy, or listening to a kid-story that I’ve already heard a few times too many.

Looking up from my work and into their eyes.

Stopping to hug my husband even if I’m in the middle of something.

All this and more makes up my everyday worship.

It’s counting my blessings in the midst of real pain or confusion or doubt because the blessings are many.

It’s choosing to be purposeful in my parenting but still at peace.

It’s dancing in the car with the Christian radio station turned up. Little hands waving in the air to the beat and grins plastered on their faces.

It’s feeling the sting of conviction when that small voice asks, “Are you happy, Mommy?” when she knows I am not. And choosing to let go and embrace real joy.

It’s planning family fun night even when I’d rather just relax.

It’s the heart-swell of awe and thankfulness that comes from seeing something truly beautiful, be it a mountain or the ocean or a sunset, or a preschooler’s delight over a firefly captured in her hand.

My everyday worship.

It doesn’t just happen at church, folks.

Jen 🙂

I learned so much about worship and living out my purpose in everyday faithfulness in the seemingly small things from this book by Rick Warren (affiliate link):

Practicing Patience with Preschoolers

August 26, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 24 Comments

It’s the longest hour of the day, that chaotic stretch of time when naps have ended but supper isn’t ready yet and Daddy won’t be home for another sixty minutes.

In our home, it’s often a time of crankiness and whining and neediness and hunger and all too often, a time of mom’s frustration.

The older boys are home from school, so the seven-year-old needs help with homework and the teen needs a permission slip signed. The twins are rubbing sleep from their eyes and asking for snacks or juice or just to be held. I’m trying to find the motivation to start supper preparations, but one twin is clinging to my leg and the other is crying for some unknown reason in the next room.

What’s a mama to do?

I’m ashamed to say that this mom’s reaction can often be a sharp, “Everyone. BE. PATIENT!!” followed by a mini-rant of my own about how I only have two hands and they are both full and can’t they just wait for a few minutes because I can’t help everyone at one time!

Why is it that a request to be patient or wait creates the exact opposite effect than what parents desire to see in their children?

I think most children who hear “be patient” or “just wait” see it as an immediate no.

They feel we have not acknowledged their needs and are, in effect, just ignoring them. So, they ask again…and again…and again…almost infinitely.

As an adult who sometimes (ok, maybe often) struggles with impatience herself, I feel for my children when they have to wait. However, I know that they need to learn patience in order to survive in the real world, and preschoolers are the perfect age to start practicing patience.

The reason I say “practice” is that patience, like any other virtue, takes time to learn. Patience is also something we must intentionally teach to our children, not something they will magically acquire on their own.

And in this day and age, I think we can all agree that patience seems to be lacking in our society!

7 Ways to Practice Patience with Preschoolers:

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1. Model patience yourself.

I know you saw this one coming! 🙂 Young children are excellent imitators, and unfortunately sometimes that backfires on us parents. Our middle child was a very impatient little guy, even from birth. During his toddler years, I spent many days questioning my ability to parent him to adulthood, seriously.

One day, he was even more impatient than usual, and I found myself throwing a little fit right back at him, asking why he couldn’t just BE PATIENT. As soon as the whiny words left my mouth, I realized I was being just as impatient with him as he was being with me. How could he possibly learn to be patient when his mama was not?

Another way to provide models for your children is to read books about being patient with them. This one is a favorite with our youngest two children!

2. Change your speech.

When multiple children (or even just one particularly persistent child) make requests at the same time and you already have your hands full, what is your response? As you read above, my first response is typically frustration over my inability to help all four children at the same time. What if, instead of a frustrated command to be patient, my children heard me talk excitedly about an opportunity to practice a new skill?

What if instead of frowning or scowling, I smiled at them (even if I’m not smiling on the inside) and said, “Let’s practice being patient! Who can do a really good job waiting quietly for mommy while she finishes this job? We’ll use our words instead of whining, and we’ll wait until mommy’s hands are free. Who can practice patience for me?”

Or, what if we used the word “choose,” especially with children who are older. Instead of a pert command to be patient, I can remind them that they have a choice about their feelings. They can choose patience rather than frustration. (And so can the mama!)

3. Distract them.

Although preschoolers are experts at wanting things, they are also fairly easy to distract (in comparison to older children). Ask your children to find another activity while they are waiting. Although you might make a few suggestions, put the responsibility for occupying themselves on their shoulders, not yours.

When I’m cooking supper, I might say something like, “Why don’t you practice patience by coloring while you wait for mommy.” If they don’t like my suggestion, then I let them know it will be up to them to find something to do.

4. Give young children a timeline.

While preschoolers are beginning to grasp the concept of time, they really can’t understand what minutes or hours or days are yet. In their minds, ten minutes might as well be two hours, and that feels like a long time for a preschooler!

Even worse is the indefinite response of “Just wait.” However, if you relate those minutes or hours to scheduled events they are already familiar with, then they can understand how long they will have to wait.

For example, if we are going to the playground later in the day, but one of my children wants to leave now, then I would tell them we’re going after nap-time. Use phrases like after this song, when you wake up from sleeping, after snack, when I finish this basket of laundry, and so forth, that give them more tangible ideas of the time frame they are dealing with. If it’s going to be a particularly long wait, I give them multiple time markers, as in: first mommy has to vacuum the floor, then we’ll pick up toys, and then we get to go to the park.

I wish I would have known about this kind of kid-friendly timer when our children were younger, but I’m considering purchasing one still for our youngest boy, who has some special needs. I like how it gives a visual cue (other than numbers) as well as an auditory cue, and it would save me from answering repeated questions about “How many more minutes?” 🙂

5. Remind them.

Let’s see if this scenario sounds familiar. “Mommy can I watch cartoons? Can I have more milk? Can I have a cookie? Can I? Can I? Can I?” Preschoolers have many wants. As a mom, I know it’s not healthy for me to indulge all of those wants.

So, while I’m imposing limits, instead of just saying no or wait (for an indefinite amount of time), I like to remind them of what they have already had. “You already watched cartoons. Now it’s time to play.” “You already had a glass of milk, but you may have water.” “I already played with you this morning, but I’ll play with you again after nap-time.”

6. Sing the “Have Patience” song.

I don’t know who wrote the “Clean Up” song, but that person deserves an award! It’s like magic! You don’t even have to tell children to pick up toys because when they hear it, they automatically know what to do. The lesser known “Have Patience” song (by Music Machine) can have a similar effect if you use it consistently.

First of all, singing in general, tends to lighten the mood. Second, the song reminds children of the behavior you would like to see. You can find the “Have Patience” song here. I only sing the chorus with the kids (and it is fun to speed it up as you repeat!).

You can also buy your own copy for use at home, in the car, etc. It’s currently on my wishlist!

7. Praise them lavishly!

At this age, children are often eager to please, so positive reinforcement usually works more effectively than negative. If you see your children actively practicing patience, then tell them how much you appreciate their hard work (because it IS hard to wait, isn’t it?)! Praise often enough that they are encouraged to continue practicing patience up to the very end.

For example, if halfway through a waiting period, I notice my daughter growing restless or whining, I will praise her for the good job she has done so far and ask her to continue. I might even draw her attention to how little time is left. Many times, the magic is in the phrasing!

Patience is a virtue worth instilling in young hearts, but it’s not an easy task. Learning patience takes time and consistency. It also takes a mama who is willing to look at herself and ask, “Am I a patient person?”

Of course, we cannot expect perfection. I’m going to suggest that we learn to be content with imperfect progress in the area of patience (to borrow a phrase from Lysa Terkeurst’s book Unlgued).

As long as we are consistently moving forward in the bigger picture (even if sometimes we move back), then we are progressively working toward patience in our homes.

And in my opinion, a patient family is a peaceful family!

Jen 🙂

When is it most difficult for your children to have patience?

Firsts Lead to Lasts

August 23, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Due to my recent injury at Buttkill Falls, I’ve had extra time to ponder life, and when that happens, I tend to get a bit nostalgic. 🙂 Maybe it’s because I’m currently medicated, or maybe it’s because I’m missing out on some family life lately. For whatever reason, when I’m separated from my people, I tend to think about them more. I miss them. I appreciate them.

I miss them. I appreciate them.

I appreciate them.

As I’m resting and pondering, and thinking about how quickly the first day of school came this year, I realize that we’re about to enter a new season of life as parents. We have just one more year left with littles at home, and one year before our oldest enters high school. For thirteen years now, I’ve been a mostly stay-at-home mom, but what will I do when all of these firsts lead to lasts?

First smiles and first steps.

First days of school and first solo bike rides.

First baby food and first big kid beds.

First instruments and first crushes.

So many firsts that we’ve been blessed with.

But these firsts lead to lasts, and what will a born-to-be-a-mama girl do when all of her children are at school for the day? It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

Last days of kindergarten and last days of twin high chairs.

Last days of baby clothes and last days of soccer on Saturdays.

Last days of sweet toddler cheeks and last days of bedtime stories.

The truth is, the lasts stink. I know I’ll miss them. But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts. Firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts – firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

And while my children are enjoying a whole new world of lasts followed by firsts, I’ll be opening up to a whole new world of firsts, too.

In the meantime, I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday again! We gather together over at Lisa-Jo’s blog and free-write for five minutes on a single word prompt. No planning, no editing, just writing. It’s glorious freedom! If you want to know more, join us at: http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/

Why Families Should Play Games

August 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 31 Comments

We love games! Perhaps this love of game-playing stems from my MK (missionary kid) roots – no tv, no electricity, but we did have board games! Perhaps the love for games also comes from many years of working with youth groups. Perhaps the teacher in me just loves being able to engage young brains in learning activities that are fun and entertaining for the whole family.

I’m sure all of those reasons come into play in one way or another. Over the years family game night has been something we all look forward to, and I think more families could benefit from it as well! Even those who don’t have their own families can enjoy similar benefits by playing games with those they have relationships with (friends, neighbors, other relatives, church family).

Quality family time. We play games together and laugh together. Sometimes, we even get mad at each other. 🙂 Often family game time results in more than just playing a game to win. While we play, we relate to one another and focus in on one another. Playing games together leads to a lot of good conversation and sometimes even leads to family jokes that last well beyond game time. Years later, whenever I hear certain phrases, like “rooooo-aaaaaaddd,” I’m instantly taken back to some awesome family memories. Some games have even become part of our family identity (Settlers of Catan, for example, is simply known as “The Game” in our household). Why not build game-play into your family identity?
Media-free entertainment. Yes, I’m one of “those” moms. Even before our children were born, I knew I didn’t want them to spend a lot of time in front of the tv. My husband and I have compromised by allowing tv, but with time limits. So, we try to find other ways to encourage our children to entertain themselves when they are bored. On rainy days, wintery days, or long summer days of boredom, why not break out a board game or card game?
Frugal entertainment. Other than the initial cost of a game, and perhaps some snack food, you can entertain a whole house full of people for very little. In fact, we’ve entertained guests with games that you don’t even have to pay for, such as Mafia (a story-telling, role-playing, whodunnit? type of game). Family Fun nights are often game nights when the budget doesn’t allow for taking out a family of six. Also, My husband and I even have mini-dates at home on occasion when the kiddos are sleeping by playing Battleship or other two-player games.
Learning new skills. Playing games is not only entertaining, but it can also teach your children new skills, such as counting, matching, planning, developing strategy, problem-solving, and more. The bonus? It’s so much fun, your children won’t even realize they are learning. 🙂
Learning sportsmanship. Children have to learn how to be good sports, whether they are winning or losing. We have one child in particular who is extremely competitive and really struggles with emotions in general. What a perfect opportunity to model good sportsmanship for him and his siblings during family game night. Additionally, playing together as a family gives children multiple opportunities to make mistakes and grow in the safety and comfort of their own home.
Learning about others. Whether with family or friends, playing games with others is a great way to get to know them better! When people are relaxed, they are more open and honest about who they really are as people. One thing our guests are sure to learn about us when playing games is that some of us are more than just a little competitive and that we all like to laugh! I especially enjoy playing games with my husband. It brings out the silly side in each of us and gives us an opportunity to tease each other, much like the flirting of our early dating relationship. Game playing fosters a feeling of friendship between us that is important for two busy parents who sometimes end up feeling more like business partners than soul mates. 🙂

I’m certain there are other reasons for playing games together, as well, but these are our favorites. I’m happy to know that my children enjoy playing board games just as much as they enjoy playing video games. Although, I have to also admit that on occasion, family game night does revolve around the wii (Mario Kart, anyone?). 🙂 The main idea is just to take time to play together. It’s an investment in your relationships that will multiply endlessly. As our children grow older, we enjoy family game time more and more!

Be sure to check out Our Big List of Favorite Games for ideas on great games for the whole family. The list is even organized by age and group size!

The family that plays together stays together…..or something like that, right? I’m putting family game night on the schedule for this week or next.

Will you join me?

Jen 🙂

How does your family enjoy games? What are your favorites?

Present (A Five Minute Friday post)

August 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 2 Comments

This week we’re on family vacation!! 🙂 So, I’m sharing an older Five Minute Friday post that never saw the light of day. As such, it is not a true 5 minute friday because I never finished it (for more information on FMF, see the end of the post). So, it has been editted. 🙂

Present is…

a campfire glowing on a warm summer evening,

lightning bugs captive in a glass jar,

faces sticky with marshmallow.

Present is choosing to look when my littlest son says, “Look, Mom! I caught budderfwy,”

and laughing when I see that it’s really another lightning bug.

But he’s so proud and his smile is so wide that I haven’t the heart to tell him differently.

Instead I exclaim over its beauty and his bravery.

And I choose to be present by putting the camera away.

Present is sometimes peace, sometimes chaos, but always worthwhile.

Present is a gift, not the kind that you open, but one that you give with your time, your attention,

your eye-contact, your helping hands and your listening heart.

It’s laughing at seven-year-old jokes that don’t make sense and listening to four-year-old speak you can’t understand.

It’s helping the teenager find a missing item and looking at your husband when he comes in the door, even if you’re busy.

Present is patient. Present is loving. Present is giving.

Let’s choose to be present.

Jen 🙂

What reminds you to be present?

On Five Minute Fridays, we all write furiously for 5 minutes on a word-prompt given to us by Lisa-Jo Baker. Come join us!