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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

12 Ideas for Fall Fun for Families

October 5, 2017 by jstults Leave a Comment

Each year when the back-to-school chaos has settled and the leaves begin to fall from our trees, I take stock of how our family is faring spiritually. With the craziness of settling into a new school year and the many Summer and Fall ministry events we participate in, I always seem to feel the need to focus on family in the Fall.

Fall also seems to be a time of year to stop and take stock – are we doing all that we can to raise our family well? How can we make the most of this season to strengthen our family and our faith?

Here are a few ideas for enjoying Fall while also being purposeful as a parent.

12 Ideas and Faith-based Resources for Fall Fun for Families

1. The Pumpkin Gospel 

The Pumpkin Gospel is a fun way to teach children spiritual truth in an interactive way. All you need is a medium or large-sized pumpkin, a candle and matches, and about 20 minutes of time (you’ll need at least 10 to prep the pumpkin).  Gather the family around for this faith-based Fall fun for families!  The valuable lesson learned about how Jesus changes us from the inside out is guaranteed to stick with your children for years to come.

 

Join the ranks of work-in-progress parents and download your free printable version of the Pumpkin Gospel object lesson! Fall fun|kids|parenting|object lessons|Bible lesson|AWANA|Sunday School|Preschool |youth group|Christ-centered resources|redeeming Halloween

Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter (down at the bottom) to get your free printable version of the Pumpkin Gospel!

2. Ways to Cultivate Thankfulness in Your Home

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun  and how-tos for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

With Fall being such a busy season, it’s easy to develop an attitude of ungratefulness. My friend Aimee shares 7 tips for cultivating thankfulness in your home. I especially like number 4 because it’s an idea I’ve been running across in Scripture recently. Maybe the Lord’s trying to tell me something? 😉

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun  and how-tos for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

3. 10 Fall Outdoor Activities to Grow Closer to God and Others

This great article from Crosswalk suggests several ways to enjoy God’s beautiful creation while also strengthening family bonds. I love number 5 because you could enjoy Fall fun for families while also being missional!

4. Praying Scriptures of Thanksgiving

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun  and how-tos for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

My friend Candace has put together a free printable list of Scriptures related to Thanksgiving. Stop by her blog for a reminder to focus on faith this Fall season. Involve the whole family in praying God’s Word – a unique way to enjoy Fall fun for families!

5. Thanksgiving Conversation Starters

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

Spice up your Thanksgiving conversation with this Fall fun activity for families from my friend Arabah Joy! She’s giving away this free printable, which includes 16 different conversation starters, over at her blog.

6. Family Thanksgiving Tree

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

Our family loves this faith-based, Fall tradition so much that we often leave our Thanksgiving Tree up for months afterwards. The Thanksgiving tree is an easy, hands-on activity to remember all of the things we have to be thankful for as a family. Each member of the family can be involved by creating their own leaves to add to the tree.

Not only is this Fall activity fun, but it’s also a beautiful visual reminder of God’s goodness!

Here’s another alternative for doing a Thankful Tree from my friend, Candace.

7. 15 Fall Date Night Ideas

Nothing’s better than enjoying the great outdoors with your loved ones! My friend Starla shares 15 different ideas for date nights (although many of these could double as Fall fun for families, too!).

8. 25 Frugal Fall Date Nights

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

Sarah Ann shares the best family resources over at her blog, and I appreciate the emphasis on keeping things frugal, too. Stop by for some great ideas on how to enjoy some Fall fun with your main man. 🙂

Make the most of this Fall season with your family using these faith-based resources and activities!  Fall traditions|family|kids|Christian family|faith-based resources|Bible lessons|fall fun for families|Fall activities|family fun night|Fall bucket list|grow in faith

9. 10 Fall Activities for Couples

Laura shares ten ways to celebrate Fall as a couple, but this post also includes a link to a free printable of 30 days of Fall activities that people of all ages can enjoy.  Stop by her blog for more Fall fun for families!

10. How to {Simply} Host Thanksgiving Dinner

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun  and how-tos for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

Nothing brings family together in the Fall season quite like Thanksgiving, right? But preparing a dinner for a large group of family and friends can be really overwhelming! My friend Ruthie has a nifty printable to help keep you organized so that you can stress less and enjoy your loved ones more.

Preparing Thanksgiving dinner together is definitely a favorite on our list of Fall fun for families!

11. Thanksgiving for the Military Family

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun  and how-tos for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

My friend, Jen, shares about her Thanksgiving Attitude from the perspective of a military wife and what Thanksgiving really means to them. Enjoying Fall fun for families is definitely more challenging when some family members cannot be present!

12. We Give Thanks – Free Printable!

Enjoy the Fall season as a family with this big list of Fall fun  and how-tos for families! Fall|Autumn|family fun|faith|faith-centered resources|family activities|Fall bucket list|Christian family|parenting|kids

This pretty printable from my friend, Rosilind, will remind your family to focus on thankfulness this Fall season. Go grab yours now and start preparing for Fall! She also shares the story behind Thanksgiving – this is one we should be teaching our children and passing down from generation to generation. 🙂

Although Fall is typically a busy time of year, it’s also a great time to re-focus on the things that really matter in life. While you’re enjoying Fall fun for families, you’re also building important family bonds and strengthening traditions that will last. If you use some of the object lessons/activities listed above, you can even use this season to strengthen your family’s faith, as well.

How will your family celebrate the Fall season?

Jen 🙂

 

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christian family, Faith, faith-based resources, Fall, Fall activities, Fall fun, Fall traditions, family, kids, parenting, seasonal traditions, Thanksgiving

The Words Your Child Really Needs to Hear

July 17, 2017 by jstults 13 Comments

“You’re the best Mom ever!” She proclaims, as she grins and squeezes me with her small arms, and my mama heart expands to near bursting.

“Well, you’re the best daughter ever!” I smile back down at her.

And it’s true. She may be my only daughter at this time, but she is also the best.

It may sound like a simple, sweet exchange between mother and daughter, come and gone in just a few breaths. But I know better. I know these words are building a foundation in her, one sweet word at a time.

I say all the words that need telling because I know she needs to hear those words; I know she needs me to tell them to her.  I know because I need those words, too.

I need the “I love you”s, and the “you’re the best”s, and the “you’re the beautifulest mom ever”s, and the “I missed you”s. If I, a grown woman, need all the words that need telling, how much more does a child need to hear these same words?

So much more. So much more.

They are the words your child really needs to hear.

All the Words that need telling, tell kids you love them, tell people the gospel

So I tell her all the words that need telling – the words about love, the words about like, the words about her character, and the words about her Savior – because she needs to hear all of those important words. She needs to hear them often.

She needs to hear them often.

She may be little now, but soon enough she’ll be heading into her senior year of high school just like her oldest brother. And then she’ll leave for college (Lord-willing), and who will tell her all the words that she needs to hear then?

When she leaves the safety of our home to venture out on her own, she’ll find plenty of messages about how she’s not enough, how she’s no good, how she’s less than.

Those words are enough to crush a person, especially if she lacks a secure foundation.

The Words Your Child Really Needs to Hear

We’ve only a few years, friends, a few short years to speak the words your child really needs to hear.  Only a few years to tell of our love for them.  Only a few years to tell of the Savior’s love, too.

And they need to hear them because love is so central to the Gospel, so important.

That foundation of faith and love (or lack of one) can help determine your child’s life course. Such a foundation is a refuge in life’s storms, a comfort when staring down rejection, a balm when wounded.

The words your child really needs to hear develop a confidence in them that isn’t easily shaken.

Are you saying the words your kids really need to hear? They seem like simple words, simple conversations, but they build solid character. Do you speak them? saying the right words|motherhood|parenting|Christian parent|Christian women|children|speaking to kids|building up your kids|kids and confidence

Don’t be shy; don’t hesitate, friend.

Even if the words don’t come naturally to you, tell the words today, the words your child really needs to hear, because we are never guaranteed tomorrow.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deut. 11:18-19

Speak words of life to your family today, friend. Make the most of every opportunity.

Tell all the words your child really needs to hear.

Tell Love

and Truth

and Kindness

and Peace.

Don’t wait!

Jen

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: building character in children, children, Christian Parenting, family, foundation of faith, i love you, Motherhood, parenting, purposeful parenting

Let Go of Holiday Guilt: Stress-free Advent for Families

November 30, 2016 by jstults 7 Comments

If I have to add one more thing to my to-do list in the month of December, I just might spontaneously combust. For real. Am I the only one who finds it ironic that the season of “Peace on Earth” and “Joy to the World” is also known for being the most stressful time of year?

The last thing we all need during the holidays is one more thing to add to the to-do list, right?

Don’t get me wrong, I want to be the mom who does all of the fun things – the cotton ball crafts, the handmade Christmas ornaments, the sugar cookies from scratch – and especially the mom who does the important things, too, like teaching our children why we celebrate Christ’s birth.

After all, what mama doesn’t want to give her kids a good Christmas?

But there are only so many hours in a day, and I’m weary of this holiday guilt before we’ve even really begun!

Honestly, until a few years ago, we had never really attempted any kind of advent for families other than reading the Christmas story from the Bible, mostly because I knew my perfectionist tendencies would make it a burden rather than a blessing, a duty rather than a delight.

After all, I’m a professional at making lists and checking off boxes, but I also find lists and boxes stressful because, let’s be honest, how often do we create a list of things to do today that will really take an entire week to complete? 🙂

So, if the program of advent for families involves complicated daily activities, I’m bound to get behind at some point: cue the holiday guilt.

Here’s the thing about guilt, friends – it is counter-productive. Guilt doesn’t motivate; rather it incapacitates.  The enemy knows this all too well, and he is a master manipulator, the king of guilt-inducing thoughts, man-made rules, and unrealistic expectations.

Yes, I want to teach my children about Christ’s birth and our family traditions, but not at the expense of experiencing Christmas joy.

But I’ve found a stress-free solution…

Join me over at my friend Sarah Ann’s blog, Faith Along the Way, to find out more about avoiding holiday guilt and a simple, stress-free advent for families (plus FREE printables!).

As the season fills with busyness, how you can possibly fit in advent? Here's a simple, stress-free plan for avoiding holiday guilt. Stay focused on the true reason for the season with this simple, stress-free advent plan for families.

 

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

Filed Under: Christianity, Parenting Tagged With: Advent, advent for families, advent for kids, Christian living, Christmas Adventure Box, Christmas traditions, family, holiday guilt, Holiday traditions, keeping Christ in Christmas, kid-friendly holidays, simple advent

25 Family Fun Days (We Are Fa-mi-ly Series)

February 2, 2016 by jstults 2 Comments

All month long here at Being Confident of This, we’ve been addressing the need for strong families, the kind that stick together for life, the kind that leave legacies for future generations.  If you missed the first few articles, I suggest that you check the schedule at the bottom to catch up.

As I mentioned in previous posts, family bonding should happen often and in a variety of ways!

One way that our family creates memories and solidifies bonds is through what we call Family Fun Day, an entire day devoted to quality time together as a family.  No joke – the fun must last until bedtime or the most literal-minded of the bunch will call the parents out. 😉

However, if you can’t fit in a whole day of family fun, try starting later in the day and carrying on the family fun until bedtime.  Something about going to bed with an emotional tank full of happy makes family fun day stick in the minds of your children.

Here’s some help planning out your family fun days!

25 Ideas for Family Fun Day

Free (or nearly free) options for Family Fun Day:

1. Bonfire and games in the dark

If you don’t have a fire pit, you can build one yourself (make that part of the family fun) or you can buy a portable one.  Be sure to have supplies for s’mores on hand and check out my Family Fun pinterest board for some glow in the dark games!

2. Fishing trip

It’s just my opinion that every kid should go fishing at least once in a lifetime. 🙂  But seriously, the quiet togetherness of fishing allows for some great conversation!

3. Family camping

Our kids love to camp! We don’t even have to travel far to do it because they most enjoy the experience of being together day and night, sleeping in tents, and cooking over the fire – simple and inexpensive family fun.

4. Outdoor fun at a State Park

Pack up a picnic lunch or dinner and head to your favorite state park or nature preserve.  Choose a few trails to hike or go on a nature scavenger hunt. You can easily spend a day at a large state park!

5. Family Game Night

If family game night is new to you, then you should read about our favorite games (categorized by age and group size) and how to host a game night with other families when you have young ones at home!  Our four children ask for family game night again and again – it never gets old for them. 🙂  I love the ideas on this pinterest board for creating a trophy for winners!

6.Winter outdoor fun

Sledding, fort-building, snowball fighting – you catch the drift (hee hee).  If your family enjoys competition, then add some challenges to this family fun day – who can create the most unique snow creature or the best snow obstacle course?

Nothing helps to keep a family close quite like spending time together and having fun. Want to create fun memories with your children? Try one of these 25 activities for your next family fun day or night! From the We Are Fa-mi-ly Series at Being Confident of This

7. Active family fun

Bike riding, trail hiking or walking, family sports (soccer, kickball, whiffle ball, etc.) – any of these work for getting your family active together.  Be sure to choose something all family members can participate in and enjoy. You can take turns choosing the next activity.

If you happen to be stuck indoors due to the weather, try something from this list!

8. Wii night (0r other gaming system)

Find several multi-player games to challenge each other on, such as Super Mario Bros. (Coin battle or free-f0r-all mode add a fun twist), Mario Kart, Wario Smooth Moves, Super Smash Bros., Wii Sports mini-games, etc.  If your family really enjoys competition, draw up a leader board and keep track of points to declare a Family Fun Day Champion!

9. Performance Night

This family fun night may take a little more planning or it may just evolve spontaneously.  Most kids love to perform, especially to a captive audience. When Dad and Mom join in on the fun, the night gets even better.  Schedule a line-up of group and solo acts – singing, plays, skits, puppet shows, anything that only requires a little creativity and leads to lots of giggles.

10. Beach Day/Swimming

Load up all of the necessities and head to a nearby beach or pool.  We usually pack a lunch and plan to spend a good portion of the day enjoying the sun, the sand, and the water. Be sure to build some sandcastles together and play some water games as a family.

11. Lego Challenge

A Lego family fun day is on my list of things to try.  If you check out my family fun pinterest board, you’ll find some great ideas for a lego-themed day.

12. Playground Hopping

In the summer, this one’s easy. Pack a picnic and scout out several playgrounds to visit. Perhaps you can even take a day trip to a city with a well-known or unique play area?  Playground hop until everyone is worn-out, then return home for family movie night!  Inclement weather pops up?  No worries! Just find some nearby indoor play places at restaurants or in malls.

Low-cost options for Family Fun Day:

13. Crazy Pinz/Bowling

In a bigger town near us, we have this place called Crazy Pinz, which often hosts family nights or cosmic bowling (gl0w-in-the-dark bowling). But it’s not your average bowling alley.  They also have indoor bumper cars, a huge arcade, and something called Ball-O-City – like big playground with these foam balls shooting everywhere!

Look for something similar in your area. Or, if you all enjoy the simple pleasure of bowling a strike, then stick to a regular bowling alley. 🙂

14. Mini Golf

Most mini  golf places also house arcades and some even boast of go-karts, climbing walls, and other fun options.  Nothing is quite as much fun as seeing one of the family members putt a hole-in-one, though!  And little ones make the day even more entertaining with their interesting putting techniques.

15. Laser Tag

Our family loves laser tag, probably because we tend to be slightly competitive. This active family fun day can be both competitive and team-oriented, however, since you usually compete against another group, but still receive individual scoresheets.

16. Paintball

Similar to laser tag except it takes place outdoors (not for young children) and is a little more painful.  We have not yet tried this as a family, but would like to!

17. Zoo Day

Large families should pay attention to membership prices because often a single visit for the entire family is close in price to buying a year membership!  Pack your own lunch and skip the souvenir shop to save more money!

18. Inflatable Fun

Find an indoor bouncy house attraction.  Most of these bouncy attractions offer inflatables for all sizes, so the whole family can enjoy time together.

19. SkyZone

If your family really likes to bounce, check for a trampoline attraction in your area.  Most of these offer a block of bounce time on various trampoline attractions – regular trampoline bouncing, trampoline basketball dunk, trampoline dodgeball, trampoline jump into foam pit, and so on.

20. Creation Museum (or another Children’s Museum)

Our four kiddos still talk about the time we went to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY.  We spent the entire day learning about God’s wonderful creation, and for our older sons, the experience was a real faith booster.  They still retain facts from the displays on Creation and use them to defend their faith.  If you have a large family, be aware that food items can be costly, but you can always pack your own!

We also enjoy the Indianapolis Children’s museum that isn’t too far from us.  Even our teenage son doesn’t mind going along.  This museum (and many others) offers several free days each year, so be sure to check before you make plans to go.

21. Family Olympics

Here’s another idea I found on pinterest for a family fun day that involves lots of fun and games.  Choose the games most appropriate for your ages and enjoy some backyard fun as a family!

Plan and save options for Family Fun Day:

22. Day trip to nearby attractions

Think amusement parks, dinner theaters, etc.  Look for savings on Groupon or Living Social!

23. Symphony

Not everyone enjoys classical music, but if your children are older and can handle sitting, you might find a themed night they would enjoy – like Star Wars or Disney.  Attending the symphony isn’t just good for family fun day, but is also a good cultural experience for kids!

24. Unique Restaurant

A restaurant with themed decor is extra fun for kiddos – think Rainforest Cafe or something similar. Since it’s not a restaurant you would normally go to, the day will automatically have a “special” air to it. Be prepared, however, as these themed restaurants are usually more costly than typical family dining.

25. Any Themed Day

This one doesn’t necessarily need to involve a lot of cost, but does require planning, especially if you need special decorations. Have a pirate day and search for hidden treasure in the backyard (scavenger hunt), or plan a family movie night around a specific theme.

The key is to incorporate as much of the theme as possible to make it a memorable night (pinterest is invaluable for planning these).

Now that you’re armed with a list of ideas, all you need to do is put a day or night on the calendar and stick with it!

Jen 🙂

Other articles in this series:

One way to build strong family bonds is to encourage healthy sibling bonds, also. This mom of three shares 3 tips for building strong sibling bonds.

What makes your family unique? What traditions do you cherish? Discover new ways to cultivate your family identity and strengthen your bonds. 9 Ways to Cultivate a Family IdentityWhile it's important to teach our children obedience and manners, how to play sports and succeed in school, the most important thing we can ever do for our children is to establish a foundation of faith. 4 Ways to Establish a Foundation of FaithStrong families don't happen by accident. Building a strong family requires a biblical foundation followed up with practical habits that build family ties. Does your family have these 4 biblical characteristics? Follow along in the We Are Fa-mi-ly series at Being Confident of This

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: #WeAreFamilySeries, close families, family, Family fun, family fun day, family fun night, family game night, Family time, frugal fun, fun activities for kids, strong families

9 Ways to Cultivate a Family Identity (We Are Fa-mi-ly Series)

January 18, 2016 by jstults 1 Comment

You might know a family like them, the ones all decked out in team gear for Sunday’s big game. They root together, sharing the joy of a win or the sting of a loss. They’ll be talking about the game for days.

Other families you know gather for family dinner every Sunday or vacation together every year.  Some meet for midnight openings of long-awaited movies or run every area 5K together. Some even serve alongside each other for their favorite cause.

It’s just part of who they are as a family, part of their family identity.

Strong families know who they are and that they belong together, no matter what their individual differences.  If you want to build strong family bonds then you need to encourage and cultivate a sense of family identity in your home.

Here’s how:

9 Ways to cultivate a family identity

1. Clarify your family values.

Each family has its own set of values to focus on, and those values contribute to the family identity. When family members are certain of the rules and values established in the home, they feel safe and secure. On the other hand, failing to clarify values paves the way for confusion and chaos in the home.

Values guide us when we make important choices. Values teach us who we are and what we stand for.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 (NASB)

What values lie at the core of your family life?  How do those values impact which activities you choose to participate in?  How do your family’s values guide your children in life situations?

2. Emphasize traditions.

Traditions give children a sense of belonging, and not just to the current family unit, but even to previous generations.  For this reason, celebrating traditions encourages the family identity.

How do you celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other special events?  What do you do to mark the first or last day of school?  Do you bake Great-Grandma’s special cookie recipe together?  Is Friday night pizza night?

Even everyday traditions become part of your family identity.

You probably already have traditions in place even if you don’t realize it, but you can always add new ones, too!  Emphasize the traditions you have. Draw your children’s attention to them and explain the significance of why you do the things you do.

What makes your family unique? What traditions do you cherish? Discover new ways to cultivate your family identity and strengthen your bonds. 9 Ways to Cultivate a Family Identity

 

3. Keep photo albums or scrapbooks.

I’ll never forget my Grandma’s bookshelf filled with photo albums.  I believe she had over 20 albums full of family photos, a treasury.  At Christmas every year, the aunts and uncles and cousins would pull out the albums and look through the physical representation of all our childhood memories.

Even as an adult, looking through photo albums is one of my favorite things to do!

Pictures remind us of who we are, where we came from, and what we’ve been through together – an important aspect of family identity.  They show us that our littlest boy has Daddy’s nose and our oldest has Grandma’s chin.  They document the progression of our family through time, the different places we’ve lived or visited, and the friends who have come and gone.

Memories are important to family identity!

4. Serve together.

Many families find part of their identity by rallying around a cause or a way to serve the Lord. Since I’m married to a pastor/church-planter, we are a pastor’s family.  We work together to prepare for and host church events and to serve our community.

It’s just part of our family identity to work together.

If your family has a heart for animals, then consider serving at a local shelter. If you’ve experienced cancer, perhaps participate in a cancer prevention walk. Whatever need or cause your family can rally around helps to cement family identity.

5. Support one another.

We have a rule in our family that whenever possible, we will all attend each other’s events. Obviously in a family of six, sometimes it just doesn’t work out. But for the most part, we go to soccer games, baseball games, plays, band concerts, and awards days together.

It’s important for siblings to feel supported by each other in addition to the support of both parents.

Although our middle son doesn’t always enjoy his older brother’s band concerts, he certainly enjoys having his brother watch his own soccer games. And as a parent, I love to hear a proud, “That’s my brother!” (or sister – whatever the case may be). 🙂

Be a family that celebrates each other. Make that an important part of your family identity.

6. Play together (or periodic random chaos).

Families that have fun together usually have a strong sense of family identity because they genuinely enjoy being with each other.  Our family loves to tease, whether with words or poking or pillow fights.

Sometimes when our teen is upstairs (or when Dad is in the bathroom), I’ll get the younger kids together for an ambush.  We wait quietly with koosh ball guns and nerf guns until the target makes an appearance and a war ensues. It may only last for 15 minutes or so, but it gets everyone laughing together.

Make laughter and playfulness part of your family identity by being silly together whenever possible!

7. Encourage common interests.

One way to develop your family identity is to teach your children to love similar things.  For example, my husband is an Indianapolis Colts fan, so we root for the Colts in this household.

You may not enjoy sports, but your family might enjoy music, or crafting, or watching old movies, or playing games, or spending time in the outdoors.

Find common interests that you can enjoy together as a family.

8. Give conversation a chance.

Our kids love to talk. I have to admit they come by it honestly with two parents who are also talkers. 🙂 But when we are really busy as a family, we don’t have time to really listen to each other.  I’ve noticed during those times that we deal with a lot more negative behavior.

One thing we do as a family is to eat supper together at the table nearly every evening of the week. Even during sports seasons, we will eat early or late if at all possible. Eating supper together gives us a chance to talk.  The more we talk together, the more we learn about each other, the better our family identity.

Find a time to set aside for good conversation.

9. Spend time together.

Out of all the ways to cultivate a family identity, this one is perhaps the most important.  Spending time together is instrumental in forming close ties, so there is no substitute for quality family time.

Set aside one night a week or a couple of nights a month for family game night, or go play a sport together. Schedule a family fun day by devoting an entire day to family time.  Your kids will love it (and they will hold you to the whole day, so be prepared)!

One of our favorite ways to spend quality time together is to go on family vacation. Family vacation creates fond memories that are unique to us, which is key in cultivating a family identity.

Are you concerned about finances?  Your family vacation need not be expensive nor extravagant to accomplish its purpose. In fact, you don’t even need to leave home to set aside a few days for family time!

If you haven’t already put some of these tips into practice, I hope you’ll do so soon!  Cultivating a family identity is just one of many valuable ways to strengthen your family bonds.

Come back next week for another installment in the month-long We Are Fa-mi-ly Series!

Join in me in scheduling some family fun?

Jen 🙂

Other posts in the We Are Fa-mi-ly Series:

We Are Fa-mi-ly: 4 Biblical Characteristics of Strong Families

Establishing a Foundation of Faith (We Are Fa-mi-ly Series)

 

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: #WeAreFamilySeries, Christian families, close family, family, family bonds, family identity, family ties, strong families

Establishing a Foundation of Faith (We Are Fa-mi-ly Series)

January 11, 2016 by jstults Leave a Comment

Last week we began the We Are Fa-mi-ly series here at Being Confident of This, so be sure to stop by the first post in the series if you missed it!  Today we’ll be discussing how to establish a foundation of faith.

While it’s important to teach our children obedience and manners, how to play sports and succeed in school, the most important thing we can ever do for our children is to establish a foundation of faith.

If we think of a family as a home being built, then think of personal faith in God as the foundation of that home.  Parents who aren’t well-rooted in faith will struggle to pass on an understanding of the Word, as well as biblical family values.

4 Ways to Establish a Foundation of Faith

1. Talk openly about your faith, even when you struggle.

Certainly, we can’t and shouldn’t tell our children everything we go through in life.  Some things simply aren’t appropriate to share with them.  However, parents are often afraid to show any sort of weakness or doubt, especially when it comes to their personal faith.

The truth is, our kids already know that we aren’t perfect.  They can see it for themselves! Thus, a foundation of faith depends on parents who exhibit and encourage authentic faith…

I’m sharing the rest of this article over at my friend Rebekah’s blog, Sharing Redemption’s Stories.  She and I share a burden for struggling marriages and families, and we’ll be working together this year to bring you quality content related to living out the Christian Faith.  Once a month, she’ll be sharing here at Being Confident of This, and once a month, I’ll be sharing over at her place.

Read the rest by clicking the picture below!

Jen 🙂

While it's important to teach our children obedience and manners, how to play sports and succeed in school, the most important thing we can ever do for our children is to establish a foundation of faith.   4 Ways to Establish a Foundation of Faith

 

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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christian families, family, family bonds, foundation of faith, how to have a strong family, legac, purposeful parenting, We Are Fa-mi-ly Series

We Are Family: Building a Strong Family Unit

January 6, 2016 by jstults 3 Comments

Most people I know would love to be part of a strong family unit, one that stays together and loves each other no matter what life brings, a family in which each member feels loved and valued.

But building that kind of family dynamic doesn’t always come easy.

As a family in ministry, we’ve been exposed to a variety of family dynamics over the years.  Some families are very good at building bonds that keep them together while other families barely remain intact, and still others struggle with dysfunction for generations.

No one sets out to raise an unhealthy and unhappy child or family, but many do so by default.  

So what makes the difference between families that thrive and those that fail?

Why do some families seem more close-knit than others?

What can we do to keep our family strong?

Why are some families so much more close-knit than others? What makes a strong family?  Join us for this series on strengthening family ties - We Are Family at Being Confident of This

We’ll be exploring these questions and answers over the next few weeks here at Being Confident of This in a series called We Are Fa-mi-ly. Topics will range from building a family identity to keeping teens in the family, and more.

Follow along as we discuss God’s marvelous gift of family!

Characteristics of a Strong Family

If we want a family that thrives, we’d do well to examine the characteristics of a strong family.  So earlier this week, I asked our four children (ages 6 to 15) what makes a good family.

Here are their responses:

  • belief in God (several mentioned this)
  • hugs and affection
  • enjoying time together
  • doing things together (several mentioned this)
  • helping each other
  • sharing with each other
  • loving each other (several mentioned this)
  • trust and honesty
  • talking to each other

Then I asked them (and my husband) what we could do to improve our family, and they answered:

  • more family time, especially game night (that’s their fav!)
  • consistent family devotions
  • share more responsibility for our home
  • complain less
  • use kind speech with siblings

I think their answers give a pretty accurate picture of our family.  We really do have fun together, and faith in Jesus Christ is very important to us. But we certainly aren’t without flaws. 🙂

If you want to know how to improve your family, consider asking your spouse and children what the family does well and what you could be doing better?

An even better source to consider is God’s Word.

Strong families don't happen by accident. Building a strong family requires a biblical foundation followed up with practical habits that build family ties.  Does your family have these 4 biblical characteristics? Follow along in the We Are Fa-mi-ly series at Being Confident of This

4 Biblical Characteristics of a Strong Family

From the beginning of mankind, God intended to use the family unit in a special way. So, one of His first commands to Adam and Eve was “be frutiful and multiply.” (Gen. 1:28)

We can see that families have had a special place in God’s heart from the very beginning!

1. A strong family begins with a healthy, God-centered marriage.

In Ephesians (5:25), we see that the relationship between a husband and wife reflects the very nature of God’s love for and pursuit of His people.  Children learn much about both human love and God’s love from the relationship they witness between their parents.

2. A strong family maintains a proper relationship between parent and child.

One of the ten commandments speaks to this very relationship:

“Honor your father and mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” Ex. 20:12 (NASB)

In a healthy family unit, parents love their children and because they love them, they discipline and instruct them.

Both the marriage relationship and the parent-child relationship serve to help children understand aspects of God’s character: Christ as the bridegroom and God as our Heavenly Father.

“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called the children of God…” 1 Jn. 3:1a (NASB)

When either one of these key relationships is damaged, a child’s understanding of God’s character easily becomes skewed. 

This is why building a strong family is paramount in today’s society.  The more dysfunctional family units grow, the less society understands God’s true character!

3. A strong family teaches future generations about the history of God’s relationship with His people.

Even more, a healthy family will pass down the record of how God has worked in their own family, too!

“Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and grandsons.” Deut. 4:9 (NASB)

4. A strong family puts on love.

The best families are those that just ooze with love and make the rest of us jealous, right? 🙂  However, as flawed humans, we are not capable of loving one another perfectly all of the time.

We all have those tense moments when feelings trump truth or miscommunication leads to unnecessary wounds, but a strong family learns to work through those tough times. A strong family learns to embrace the work-in-progress of loving and forgiving one another.

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Eph. 4:32 (NASB)

We could probably list several more characteristics of strong families, but these four are foundational.

I’m willing to bet most parents desire to leave a legacy of strong family bonds for future generations, but a quick look at the world around us demonstrates that such a legacy does not happen by chance.

As mom to a soon-to-be sixteen-year-old, I recognize that the time is all too short. These formative years fly by more and more quickly, and if we’re not careful, we’ll miss out on important opportunities.

We must be intentional in building family bonds that last!

Join us here for the next installment in the We Are Fa-mi-ly series for some practical ways to strengthen your family.

Until then, put on love!

Jen 🙂

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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christian living, family, family bonds, family dynamics, family ties, how to have a good family, strong family

A Little About Fambaca ~ Grace and Truth Week 22

June 12, 2015 by jstults 2 Comments

Hello, reader and blogger friends! 🙂  It’s that time of week again when we come together as a community and encourage one another at the Grace and Truth Christian living link-up.

We have family in from out of state this week, so we are busy building memories and enjoying lots of quality time together.

We call it FAMBACA – it’s a long story really, but the short version is that once upon a time, someone who shall remain nameless tried to abbreviate Family (FAM) and Vacation (VACA) and misspelled it on facebook. We all had a good laugh and the “name” of our family vacation just kinda stuck. Even the littlest ones call it Fambaca now.

That’s one of the things that makes family enjoyable, though, isn’t it? Knowing the words and phrases that will make your sister snort pop out of her nose or annoy your sister-in-law (“ro-aaaaddd”). Sorry, Christa! 😉

When we make memories together, we weave connections that last a lifetime; thus the phrase “Remember when?”

I’m hoping to have more on that aspect of healthy families later this summer, but for now, we’re busy weaving.

Take time to enjoy your family this week!

Jen 🙂
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Welcome to the New Christian Living Link-up ~ #GraceTruth

January 16, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 6 Comments

I’m beyond excited to introduce you all to something that has been in the works for several weeks now. Faithful readers and Lofter buddies know that we’ve hosted a link-up called #TheLoft for some months now. Recently our hosting group was offered an opportunity to merge with quite a few other like-minded faith bloggers in a new, bigger weekly link-up. Although we’re sad to lose a little of the intimacy that a smaller group allows for, we are enthusiastic about the opportunities this new link-up brings for all faith bloggers.

So, without further ado, I invite you to join us for Grace & Truth, a weekly Christian link-up!

Jen 🙂

Grace & Truth : A Weekly Christian Link Up

Grace & Truth exists to point people to Jesus! We hope this link-up will be a source of encouragement each and every week. If you’re a blogger our hope is that you’ll use this space as a way to meet new friends within the Christian blogging community. If you’re a reader our hope is that you’ll meet new bloggers that love Jesus just as much as you do! Most of all, we hope you’ll meet Jesus here.

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Kaylene Yoder
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2.) Leave 1-2 of your most recent CHRISTIAN LIVING posts. Please do not link DIY, Crafts, Recipes, etc. Links of this kind will be deleted.

3.) Grab a button or link back to encourage new linkers. This is not mandatory to participate, but is required to be featured next week.

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Reader Favorites ~ 2014

December 27, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 6 Comments

I’m so thankful for you, my faithful readers, my sisters in Christ (and let’s not forget the brothers, too).  You have made this space a friendly zone for sharing my most personal writings, and 2014 was just the year for it.  All year long, the Father has been challenging me to “Take Courage.” and having encouraging readers certainly helps me to do just that!

Often this space is mostly for me, a place to share what is on my heart, what I want to write about and hear about. But today I want to share YOUR favorites from 2014.  If you haven’t read these top posts before, just click on the individual pictures. Perhaps you’ll find a new favorite. 🙂

reader favorites 2014, Being Confident of This blog, top posts of 2014, number one posts, grace for the work-in-progress woman

Most time in the #1 spot:

marriage, Christian marriage, how to love an unloving spouse, feeling unloved, want to feel loved, loving a difficult spouse

“I’ll be honest. As a busy mom of four, I wrestle with this idea that God should be my sole supply. After all, God cannot help with the bedtime routine or sweep the kitchen or sign permissions slips or pay the bills, at least not in a physical sense.  I wrestle, too, with feelings of disappointment and unkind thoughts toward a husband whom I truly wish to respect.

So, how can I demonstrate love for my husband even when he’s not demonstrating love for me?”

Most comments in 2014:

confidence, fat girl insecurities, insecure, overweight, fat, trying to lose weight, obese, heavy, healthy body image, health

“I’ll never forget the first time I heard the word aimed at me.  He spewed it out like vomit, his eyes filled with disgust. “Fat,”  the boy accused me, and I believed it even though I wasn’t anywhere near “fat” back then.

I always was a…”

Runner-up for most comments in 2014:

That New Girl: Finding Confidence

confidence, finding confidence, that new girl, no condemnation, identity, loving yourself, identity in Christ, self-acceptance, imperfect progress

“Sin temporarily hijacks our child-of-God identity, the world teaches us that we will never be enough, and the pride and insecurity of self often confirms the lies. But the truth, sisters, the amazing truth is that we don’t have to be enough because He is already everything for us. It’s this Christ-confidence that sets us free!”

Most comments of all (even though it’s from 2013):

marriage, imperfect progress, perfectionism, grace, through my grace-colored glasses, work in progress

“Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again.  He just won’t leave me alone.

He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord… He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different…”

The Top 5 written in 2014:

#1

big list of energetic indoor fun, high-energy kids, boys with energy, stuck indoors, cabin fever, school break, I'm bored, kids bored, get energy out

Are the kids driving you crazy? Do your boys have too much energy to stay cooped up indoors? Need a cure for cabin fever?  Is the weather outside frightful?  This huge list of ideas for expending pent-up energy while stuck indoors will help you stay sane!

#2

7 ways to teach bible verses to kids, teaching bible verses to kids, memory verse, preschool, toddler, children, homeschool, church, creative ways to learn memory verses, scripture

For moms, dads, Sunday School teachers, homeschooling families, Children’s Church leaders and anyone else who works with little ones – here’s how to help them hide the Word away in their hearts.

#3

dollar store deals, cheap homeschool supplies, early childhood education, preschool, toddler, preschooling with dollar store deals, what to buy at the dollar store for homeschool

This isn’t just a list of what to buy for the littles at the dollar store. It’s also a list of how to use the items you buy!  Great deals + great activities=happy learners.

#4

Saving money on kid's clothes, clothing budget, frugal, stewardship, single income family, clothing budget, tight budget, saving money, frugal living

This is part one of two posts on how to save money when buying clothes for a large family.  With three boys and one girl in the house, our tight budget really gets stretched when it comes to purchasing clothes and shoes for the kids. Over the years, I’ve learned quite a few tricks for working within our small clothing budget to make the most of it.

#5

keeping Christ in Christmas, kid friendly advent free printables, The Christmas Adventure Box, family advent activity, homeschool, church, AWANA, youth group, easy advent, flexible advent, advent fun

Kid-friendly Advent with Free Printables!  I created these as a companion to the Christmas ADVENTure Box that we do each year as an advent activity with our children. Our boys especially love the adventure aspect of it.  It’s an easy, flexible way to keep Christ in Christmas!

Thanks for making 2014 a great year for Being Confident of This!  And even though this isn’t a reader favorite (yet!), I want to leave you with one last post as you head into the new year. It’s close to my heart and really sums up what this year has been about for us.

Courage to Face a Giant

courage quote, fail or succeed, take courage in the Lord, be strong and courageous, facing a giant

Take Courage in the new year, my sisters!

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: The Pin-it Party, Grace and Truth,

Filed Under: Blogging, Christianity, Marriage, Parenting, Women of Faith Tagged With: Christ-centered living, Christian Women, Faith, family, homeschool, Identity in Christ, purposeful parenting, reader favorites, top posts, Writing

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Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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jstults[at]beingconfidentofthis[dot]com

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New devotional release from Jen Stults - Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. This book is for every Christian woman who wants to walk in confident faith instead of struggling with doubt, fear, and insecurity! self-esteem | self-confidence | self-help | motivational | personal growth | spiritual growth | how to be more confident | Christian women | devotional | Bible study | identity in Christ | superwoman myth | being like Mary

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