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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

Firsts Lead to Lasts

August 23, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Due to my recent injury at Buttkill Falls, I’ve had extra time to ponder life, and when that happens, I tend to get a bit nostalgic. 🙂  Maybe it’s because I’m currently medicated, or maybe it’s because I’m missing out on some family life lately.  For whatever reason, when I’m separated from my people, I tend to think about them more.  I miss them. I appreciate them.

I miss them. I appreciate them.

I appreciate them.

As I’m resting and pondering, and thinking about how quickly the first day of school came this year, I realize that we’re about to enter a new season of life as parents.  We have just one more year left with littles at home, and one year before our oldest enters high school. For thirteen years now, I’ve been a mostly stay-at-home mom, but what will I do when all of these firsts lead to lasts?

First smiles and first steps.

First days of school and first solo bike rides.

First baby food and first big kid beds.

First instruments and first crushes.

So many firsts that we’ve been blessed with.

kids blackandwhite

But these firsts lead to lasts, and what will a born-to-be-a-mama girl do when all of her children are at school for the day?  It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

Last days of kindergarten and last days of twin high chairs.

Last days of baby clothes and last days of soccer on Saturdays.

Last days of sweet toddler cheeks and last days of bedtime stories.

The truth is, the lasts stink.  I know I’ll miss them.  But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts.  Firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts – firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

And while my children are enjoying a whole new world of lasts followed by firsts, I’ll be opening up to a whole new world of firsts, too.

Kids Bushkill1

In the meantime, I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday again!  We gather together over at Lisa-Jo’s blog and free-write for five minutes on a single word prompt.  No planning, no editing, just writing.  It’s glorious freedom!  If you want to know more, join us at: http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: children, Christian Parenting, family, firsts, Five Minute Friday, love, Moms, Motherhood, parenting, Women

Our Big List of Favorite Games For Families

August 20, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 29 Comments

As a follow-up to the Mama Mondays post on Why Families Should Play Games on family game night, I wanted to provide some practical information on what games for families to use for family game night, neighborhood game night, church ministries, or special events.

For those who don’t already know, we have four children, ages four through thirteen, and we’ve spent a lot of years working with children and youth in various churches.  So, we’ve witnessed epic games and also epic failures. 🙂

I’ve divided the list into a few different categories such as age or group size in order to give it a little more organization.

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For a full disclosure, please visit the About page.

So you've heard the hype about family game night, but you're not sure where to get started?  Or maybe your go-to games are growing stale and boring? This huge list of family-friendly games will help!  Use if for family game night, special events, youth group, AWANA, neighborhood parties, etc.

Toddler/Preschool Games

Memory
Memory is one of our favorite games for families for this age group and utilizes memory skills, matching, and critical thinking.  We started at the age of 2 (possibly even younger) with our firstborn, but not with the entire game.  For very young children, I would start by choosing out just a few matches to start with and let them get the hang of it before building up to more.

Hi Ho Cherry-O
Hi Ho Cherry-O is another favorite and can be played from an early age with modifications.  This game teaches colors, counting, and following directions. In fact, before you even try to play the actual game, you could have your child do some color sorting by putting all of the cherries on the correct trees!

Go Fish Card Game
I love this game because you can make your own and use it to teach just about anything: for example,Go Fish Colors, Go Fish Shapes,Go Fish Animals, Go Fish Alphabet, and so on.  To make your own, just buy a pack of index cards, print off some graphics (or use colored cardstock) and tape or glue them to the index cards – laminate them for longer use.  Our middle child has always been our most active child and has been that way from birth, literally!  Go Fish is the one game he would actually sit still for at a fairly young age – young enough that he couldn’t even say, “Go Fish!” correctly. For little hands, you might try these card holders, too.

Trouble
We played this game with our two oldest boys before our youngest (at the time) son could even count.  We just counted the spaces out for him.  Why did our active boy enjoy this game so much?  He looooved pressing the domed popper in the middle. He also really enjoyed landing on other players and sending them back home. 🙂 After moving, we lost some of our pieces, so I’ve been eyeing this Despicable Me Edition.

Candy Land
The best thing about this classic, aside from being candy-themed, is that you move by colors rather than numbers.  Thus, you can easily play with very young children.

Elementary-age Games

(many of the games for families listed in the toddler/preschool category are still interesting enough for this age group as well)

Pictureka
 We absolutely love this i-spy type game that was introduced to us by friends!  It is easy enough to play that very young children can participate, but also quick-paced and competitive enough that even my husband enjoys playing.  It’s just perfect for our broad age range!  The board is a series of large square tiles that are moved often throughout this picture-finding game. With very young children, you can make every card an all-play card and take a less competitive, more team-work approach.

Battleship
Battleship is an oldie, but a goodie.  I love this game because it’s challenging enough that my husband and I can play each other for at-home date nights, yet our two oldest sons can also play each other.  Our middle son learned to play it at the age of 6, but probably could have learned earlier. This game of strategy only requires 2 players!

Cranium Cadoo for Kids
We found this awesome spin-off of Cranium (see under Large Group Games) at Goodwill and it has quickly become one of our favorite games for families!  Easy enough for the little ones to participate, but interesting enough for the teen in the house, too.

Don’t Break the Ice and Don’t Spill the Beans
These are 2-4 player games that even young children can play as they do not involve counting or reading. Don’t Break the Ice uses a small plastic hammer to knock out individual ice cubes until the whole platform falls. Don’t Spill the Beans is a game of balance in which plastic beans are added to a pot one by one until the pot tips one way or the other.  These games for families both utilize and teach scientific principles, too!

Not sure where to start with family game night?  Or maybe your go-to games are growing stale? Huge list of family-friendly games for all groups and ages!  Ideas for family game night, youth group, special events, neighborhood game night, preschool, AWANA, and more.

Teen/Adult

Risk Game
Risk is a game of strategy and conquest.  You can make and break treaties, create and destroy armies, and take over the whole world!  I think this game appeals more to boys rather than girls, but my sister and I both happen to really enjoy it even as adults. Risk is one of the more time-consuming games for families, but soooo worth it!

 The Settlers of Catan
– see description in Family category below.

Murder – this game has been a youth group favorite wherever we go, and we even played it at an adults’ game night once!  You’ll need lots of playing space for the game to work well and you also need darkness. We created our own dim area by covering some windows when we played.  Basically, one person is chosen by random to be “it” and is unknown to the other players.  Then, everyone spreads out and the “murderer” is free to work.  What makes this game fun is that when a “body” is found, the lights come on and all players gather together to make accusations and try to figure out who the murderer is.  If the person accused is not truly “it,” then the game continues! Be sure to look up extended rules online.

Games for the Whole Family

Jenga Classic
Jenga is easy enough for small hands, but interesting enough for older brains, as well.  We have played this game with our four-year-old twins and it works very well as long as we help them a bit.

Pictureka
– see description in Elementary category.

The Game of Life Game
This favorite among our games for families teaches about life choices, careers, finances, and random chance. The first time we played, my husband’s pink “wife” fell out of his minivan game piece and our middle child got the worst case of the giggles. Now every time we play, we talk about the time Dad’s “wife” tried to run away. 🙂

The Settlers of Catan
Settlers of Catan is our all-time favorite family game (we actually call it “The Game”) and can be played with as little as 2 players and with as many as 12 if you want to re-paint or decorate some of the pieces like we did.  The game is very unique and involves a lot of strategy and planning, as well as bartering. Basically, you are a “settler” who chooses where to build.  Your object is to grow your territory using resources that you earn according to rolls of the dice.  You will build roads, cities, and other settlements as you earn the resources to build with.  You can also trade with other players, but beware of the black robber!  Although this game is a little more expensive and takes time to learn, it is well worth the effort and expense!!

Aggravation
This game is another oldie, but goodie and can be hard to come by.  You may remember playing with marbles on a wooden board as a child? This game is easy to learn, and is much like the game Sorry in that players can be sent back to home if they are landed on. New boards can be expensive, but keep an eye out at garage sales for the board! You can always buy new marbles to go with it. 🙂

Farkle
This is one of the least expensive games for families ever, but is so much fun.  All you need is a set of dice (6, I believe), a printed out set of rules from the Internet, and paper and pencil to keep score with.  Although this game is numbers oriented, our middle son learned to play with help at age 6 and really enjoyed it.

Not sure where to start with family game night?  Or maybe your go-to games are growing stale? Huge list of family-friendly games for all groups and ages!  Ideas for family game night, youth group, special events, neighborhood game night, preschool, AWANA, and more.

Large Group Games

Cranium
I love this game, especially for large group play, because it combines aspects of many of my favorite games.  There are 4 categories: one uses word-based clues (missing letters, scrambled letters, spelling, etc.), one uses music/acting based clues similar to charades, one uses data-based clues (true/false, multiple choice, etc.), and one uses clues that require drawing (sometimes with your eyes closed!) or sculpting with clay.  It’s basically like playing pictionary, charades, trivial pursuit, Boggle, and other games for families all at the same time!  The best part, however, is that you play in teams, so this game can work for anywhere from 4 to 20 or more players.

Apples to Apples
Here’s another party favorite among our games for families.  It is easy to learn and usually involves a good deal of humor.  Apples to Apples also gives you insight into the people you’re playing with. You can also buy a kid-friendly version called Apples to Apples Junior .

Catchphrase
This game is a favorite for me and probably anyone who is good with words and/or talking.  It can be used in a group as small as 4, but is more fun with larger groups.  The beeping timer makes the fast-paced game-play even more intense and competitive!

Settlers of Catan – see the description in family games.

Euchre – an inexpensive card game that requires only a single deck of cards.  You can play with Four or more.  I had never heard of this game until I met my husband, but it quickly became apparent that I would have to learn.  It took me a while to learn this game, but it has quickly become one of my favorite card games!

Hand and Foot – another inexpensive card game in which you have two “hands” of cards – one to start with and a second one, called the “foot,” that you play when you finish your first hand.  I like this game best when played with partners, in which case you would need at least four players.  If you have enough card decks and table space, you could play with a group of 8-10 easily.  This game simply requires several decks of normal playing cards. Look up the rules online for more information!

Mafia – this game isn’t your typical board or card game, but can be fun if you have an adventurous group of people.  Basically, it’s a whodunnit? game, narrated by a player who sits out of the gameplay and simply tells the story.  The game involves a “criminal” who points at a victim, a doctor, who points at someone to save, and a police officer or detective who chooses someone to accuse.  The most important part of this game is choosing a good narrator because a lot of fun is in the details that they make up. Look up the details online!

Wink Murder – okay, so this game may be a bit juvenile for adults, but I guess I’m a kid at heart. 🙂  This is another game that you can play on the fly with no preparation and no supplies.  Look up the rules online for more information.

Active Games

Twister
Children and teens alike enjoy this game of contorting one’s body in order to touch the correct colored circles.  With our two youngest, we don’t bother with differentiating between right and left since they haven’t learned this yet.  Instead, we just say, “Put your hand on blue.” Surprisingly, one of the favorite parts of this game is the spinner!

Hide-n-Seek – yes, this is usually an outdoors game, but a few winters ago when I was doing some in-home childcare for a friend, I decided we could play indoors!  In fact, it becomes even more fun when you turn off all but a few lights and play Scary Hide-n-Seek!  Just be sure to tell the players if there are any off-limit areas before you start.

Sardines – similar to hide-n-seek, only the player who is “it” hides and everyone else tries to find him or her.  The twist is that when you find “it” you have to hide along with them until everyone ends up in the same hiding spot.

Simon Says – I know this is an old school game, but my children love it.  The most popular position is Simon, of course, but it’s really good for our younger children to learn to follow directions and to listen!

Mother May I? – another old school game, but gets my children up and active without being too crazy.

Indoor obstacle course – This is mostly for younger children, but older children and parents can participate by creating the course.  Pull out your kitchen chairs, small end tables, and as many pillows as you can gather (you can even use boxes to create tunnels).  Find the longest straight stretch in your home and design your own course!  My children will do the course over and over and over……well, you get the idea. 🙂

Additionally, Energy-burning Indoor Fun for Kids is chock full of ways to help the kids burn off extra energy when you’re stuck inside.


Well, that’s it for our BIG list of favorite games for families. I hope you find some ideas for new games to try out at your next family game night.  To help you get started, here are tips on how to host a game night with young children in the home.

I also have a pinterest board specifically for learning games and activities where I gather ideas for homeschool or just home learning fun, and an AWANA/VBS board where I gather ideas for youth group and children’s ministry.  For family-specific activities, be sure to visit the Family Fun Day/Night board, too.

We’re always looking for new family oriented games to add to our collection, so please let us know if you have a great suggestion!

What is your family’s favorite game?  What games would you add to the list?

Jen 🙂

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For a full disclosure, please visit the About page.

Sharing with: Family Fun Friday,

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: AWANA games, family, family game night, family-friendly games, games, Hospitality, parenting, Top Games for Families, Youth games

Great Expectations and Buttkill Falls

August 14, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 12 Comments

Hello, faithful readers!  Some of you know that I was on vacation with my family last week.  We spent the week unplugged.  I wanted to jump right back in on Monday, but vacation didn’t go exactly as planned…

Buttkill Falls

In a cosmic meeting of great expectations and unplanned frustrations and discouragements, vacation became a lot more work than we all intended and culminated in what could have well been the deciding event at Buttkill Falls.  The rest of the world knows this picaresque waterfall by it’s real name, Bushkill Falls, but in our family, it will forever be referred to as Buttkill Falls because it broke my behind. Literally.  But that’s really the end of the story (no pun intended), so let’s go back to the beginning!

Three years ago, we went our first family vacation, not just your typical family getaway, but an extended family vacation consisting of our family, my parents, my brother and his family, and my sister and her family.  The adults enjoyed a lot of together time while the little cousins played.  It was wonderful!  While that trip was not without its own frustrations, we enjoyed ourselves so much that we decided to make it a new family tradition that should take place every other year.

For those who don’t know much about my family, this vacation is important to us.  Because my parents were missionaries in PNG (Papua New Guinea), we spent a lot of years separated in various ways, sometimes even in different countries.  Today, we are separated into three different states.  So, like many families who have moved apart from each other, finding together time is difficult, even during the holidays.  And I think at least for me (since I can only speak for myself), those years spent apart overseas make that together time so much more significant and needed.  So, family vacation was the perfect solution!  What could be better than a whole week together?!

For many reasons, planning this second family vacation became a lot more complicated from the beginning.  In fact, we didn’t even get to go the year that we had originally planned.  Instead, we waited another year, and faced even more hurdles.  So by the time we worked through the hurdles and had firm plans in place, we were all anxious to actually get there. Expectations were at an all-time high.

Unfortunately, the discouragement began even before we left!  We experienced unexpected financial issues and so did some other family members.  The second house being rented by my sister’s family was flooded the week prior to our departure, and they were left with no place to go to.  In addition, One of my nieces started throwing up the night before they planned to leave.  The opposition we faced was unreal!  In fact, I have no doubt that the Enemy was at work even before we left, trying to suck the joy out of our much anticipated family vacation before it ever started.

But, in my father’s words, my mother is an eternal optimist, and thankfully some of us inherited this characteristic from her. 🙂  So, we prayed, and prayed, and my sister’s family actually left by faith before final arrangements were even made for their rental home!

So many things went wrong that week: the rental homes were not what we were expecting (in fact, one had to be changed due to mildew and other general grossness), couples argued, family members failed to communicate, and the weather forecast predicted rain. all. week. long.  Have you ever spent a week in a crowded home with 11 children, all but one under the age of 8?  It wasn’t looking good for a week of peace that we so desperately needed.

But as I mentioned before, many of us are optimists and even those who aren’t optimists are at least believers in the God of the impossible.  So, we forged ahead with vacation plans.  There was a family church service on Sunday, followed by game time, and a beach day on Monday, and Guys golf followed by Gals shopping on Tuesday.

Beach

On Wednesday, it rained all the way to Buttkill Falls.  But we were determined. Besides, what else would we do in a crowded cabin with a pack of wild children? 🙂  The nice lady who charged us the outrageous admission price (yes, we outdoor lovers PAID to hike!) warned us that the trails would be slippery.  And to make a long story short, after misunderstandings and whiny, sometimes even disobedient kids and lots and lots of stairs, it happened. I warned my mother about a particularly slippery set of wooden steps, turned to go down the next one, and fell down three steps directly on my tailbone.

I couldn’t catch my breath at first, and then when the air came, so did the tears.  My arm was already bruising from the fall and my rear hurt terribly.  I assumed it would go away after a while, and it did go numb for a bit, so we finished the hike.  But not without another spousal argument and multiple instances of child disobedience.  The one redeeming aspect of Buttkill Falls was the awesome playground that we used to wear the kids out before hopping back in the van for a painful, hour-long drive back to the cabin.

Buttkill falls2

Needless to say, the rest of the vacation wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned.  There was a day spent getting x-rayed and medicated, followed by a day in bed while the others enjoyed a train ride (or train wreck, as my brother-in-law liked to call it), followed by a long drive to a huge boulder field that I couldn’t walk on (but at least I got to see!).  And then there was the day of the ten hour drive home and the donut pillow that failed to do its job.

It felt like one of those annoying movies where everything that can go wrong, does, and the characters never catch a break! 🙂

In spite of my unmet great expectations, I can honestly say I would choose to do it again.  Why, you ask?  Because in between the arguing, the parenting issues, the broken bones, the frequent disappointments, and the many other challenges that came our way that week, we had moments, family moments of joy, of togetherness, of teasing, of laughter, of memory sharing, and of memory making.

And we all enjoyed an entire night of rear-end jokes around the game table. 🙂 (Better to laugh than to cry, right?!)

I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world, or even a healed tailbone,  because who knows if we’ll see another family vacation?  Who knows if we’ll have another year, another week, another day?

In our humanity, we love to make these perfect plans; we have these great expectations for life, for people, for jobs.  So often, they fall short, and we’re tempted to let ourselves become discouraged.  We’re tempted to lose heart. We’re tempted to see the negative, the bad, even the evil, everywhere we turn.

But our God is bigger, our God is stronger,

Our God is higher than any other…

And He holds us in the palm of His hand.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

His plans are not our plans.

I still don’t know why I needed to break my tailbone in the middle of family vacation or why family vacation had to feel like  work instead of pleasure so often, but He does.

I pray that the more I grow in the confidence of His grace, the more my great expectations will be His great plans.

And in the meantime, I choose to look for the good.

Even if it means surviving more Buttkill Falls incidents. 🙂

Jen 🙂

When have your great expectations ended in disappointment?  What brought you joy in spite of your failed plans?

Filed Under: Christianity, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: Broken, Bushkill Falls, Devotional Thought, Faith, family, Papua New Guinea, Suffering, vacation

Present (A Five Minute Friday post)

August 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 2 Comments

This week we’re on family vacation!! 🙂  So, I’m sharing  an older Five Minute Friday post that never saw the light of day.  As such, it is not a true 5 minute friday because I never finished it (for more information on FMF, see the end of the post).  So, it has been editted. 🙂

campfire1

Present is…

a campfire glowing on a warm summer evening,

lightning bugs captive in a glass jar,

faces sticky with marshmallow.

campfire4

campfire3

Present is choosing to look when my littlest son says, “Look, Mom! I caught budderfwy,”

and laughing when I see that it’s really another lightning bug.

But he’s so proud and his smile is so wide that I haven’t the heart to tell him differently.

 Instead I exclaim over its beauty and his bravery.

And I choose to be present by putting the camera away.

campfire2

Present is sometimes peace, sometimes chaos, but always worthwhile.

Present is a gift, not the kind that you open, but one that you give with your time, your attention,

your eye-contact, your helping hands and your listening heart.

It’s laughing at seven-year-old jokes that don’t make sense  and listening to four-year-old speak you can’t understand.

 It’s helping the teenager find a missing item and looking at your husband when he comes in the door, even if you’re busy.

campfire5

Present is patient.  Present is loving. Present is giving.

Let’s choose to be present.

Jen 🙂

What reminds you to be present?

On Five Minute Fridays, we all write furiously for 5 minutes on a word-prompt given to us by Lisa-Jo Baker.  Come join us!

Filed Under: Christianity, Parenting, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: children, Devotional Thought, family, Five Minute Friday, Marriage, Motherhood, purposeful parenting

12 Tips for Surviving Twins

July 24, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 20 Comments

If you haven’t visited this blog before, you might not know that we have a set of twins (boy/girl) who are now four years old. I never imagined myself having twins, and in fact, I had mixed feelings at first (read the story here).

However, our twins have brought a doubled joy to our lives that I could never expected. There is something so precious about watching them sleep side by side or hold hands as they walk down the sidewalk. Observing their unique bond has been a true privilege.

I hope they will always be best friends of sorts even though they are different genders!

Along the way, I’ve learned some methods for dealing with the not-so-cute moments of what can easily become twin madness, and I’d like to share them with you today. These methods would also work with children who are close in age to one another! 🙂
twins collage

 12 Twin Tips for Survival

1. Divide and conquer.  Whatever task you face, it can be much easier to handle one at a time. For example, I read many success stories from mamas who simultaneously potty-trained their twins. It seems that for these blessed mothers, what one twin did, the other followed.

However, for us it wasn’t quite as simple. Our son was just not ready, but our daughter was!  She insisted on using the potty even though I wasn’t trying to train her.  So, I decided one at a time might actually be easier, and it worked! Not everything must be done in pairs. 🙂

OR….

2. Kill two birds with one stone.  Some twin tasks are just easier to do together, such as diaper changing (one right after the other, of course), nursing (huge time saver if you can get the hang of it), going to the doctor, bathing, and feeding snacks or meals.

When you already have all of the “stuff” out, you might as well get it over with for the other twin, too!  I even learned such talents as double burping, which only lasted a month or two.

Part of finding my groove with our twins was learning which technique worked best for which tasks – either #1 or #2.

Sometimes it even makes a difference which twin you do first! After a while, I learned to always put my twin son’s shoes on last because he would try to take them off if we didn’t leave the house immediately.  My daughter didn’t seem to mind the shoes, so I could count on her to leave hers on while I wrestled with her brother. 🙂

For expectant twin mothers and those already in the throes of twin motherhood - these 12 tips will help you survive the early years!

3. Set up stations!  When the twins were infants, this was a lifesaver when it came time to prepare a meal, or work with an older child, etc.  I had a rotation of baby devices for them and when they grew weary of one (after about 10 minutes), I would quickly rotate them to the next thing in line.

Instead of having two of everything, we found we only needed one of most things and thankfully, many of these devices were given to us.  So, at one point in time we had out an exersaucer, a jumperoo, a bouncy seat, a playmat, and a walker (before the walker days, we had a swing).

4. Identify the tough times.  We definitely had specific times of the day that were much more difficult than others.  Meal times, bedtimes, and late afternoon seemed to be the worst for us.  Once we identified those tough times, we were able to problem solve to cut down the stress.  If all else fails, then….

5. Enlist helpers!  By far the best thing we ever did was to accept the gracious offers of friends and family to lend a helping hand.  Many ladies from church took turns helping me with afternoon feedings (my husband worked second shift at the time) even when the twins were quite small.  I would either pump ahead of time or I would take that opportunity to nurse one infant at a time and the company could burp or entertain the other twin.

We also are blessed to have a very helpful oldest son.  He often rocked a fussy baby while I cooked supper or helped our middle child with a problem!  Additionally, for a few

For a few months I also enlisted the help of one of our teenage nieces.  I was able to pay her very little, but she loved coming over to help with the kids. It was totally worth the expense.

Twin mamas, do not be afraid to ask for help, especially in the early months – it will save your sanity! 

For expectant twin mothers and those already in the throes of twin motherhood - these 12 tips will help you survive the early years!

6. Schedule, schedule, schedule.  I wasn’t a very schedule-oriented mom when it came to nursing or even napping our first two children.  Our firstborn sort of fell into a schedule all on his own, and our middle child fought any sort of schedule from day one!

However, by nature I’m a planner, so I like at least a loose form of organization.  And after struggling with our strong-willed middle child, I was determined to start off right.

With two babies at once, I knew that I was going to need to be a little more of a tough mommy in order for us to survive. 🙂

Since our twins were born prematurely, they spent time in the NICU and came home already on a strict feeding schedule.  So, we were already off to a good start.  However, our infant son was not always happy to keep to the same schedule as his sister.

It was hard work to find a happy medium, but I knew I wouldn’t handle feeding and napping at different times very well.  Persistence paid off, and the majority of the time, they ate together and napped together.

Find a sort of schedule that works for you!

The best pattern to follow for those first 6 months or so is: eat – wake time- then sleep, which is the complete opposite of what many babies naturally do.  However, this pattern sets your infants up not only for feeding success, but for sleeping success as well!

You may be tempted to let sleeping babies go undisturbed, but it will be worth working to keep them awake when they reward you by sleeping for longer periods of time.  Trust me. 🙂

7. Invest in the gear that makes your life easier.  Being a parent is hard work.  Being a twin parent is sometimes doubly hard work!  Some baby gear makes that work a lot less difficult and is worth every penny.

For example, my husband and I debated about whether or not to purchase a double snap-n-go stroller.  It’s basically a metal frame stroller that the infant carrier car seats can snap right into.  Thanks to some generous gifts, we had the necessary funds and decided to go ahead and purchase it.

Next to my twin nursing pillow, it was the best purchase we ever made for the twins!

It made outings much easier, especially those I had to navigate alone – going to church, going to the store, going to the library, going to the doctor.  I was no longer confined to the house, which made me and our two older children very happy!

Later we switched to a Schwinn double jogging stroller, courtesy of my father-in-law’s fabulous auction skills, and the last stroller we owned was a double sit-n-stand, which I highly recommend for the toddler to preschool years.  When one is tired of sitting in the front seat, you can switch them out to standing, kneeling, or even sitting in reverse in the back seat.

8. Keep your older children occupied.  Sitting down to nurse  or feed two infants isn’t an easy task, especially if you also have an active three-year-old on the loose.  Sometimes our middle child would escape into another room and I would just pray that he wasn’t destroying anything of value! 🙂

I wish I had known back then about busy bags!  If you don’t know what they are, you need to find out.  Just look up busy bags on Pinterest or Google and find a variety of ideas for quiet play.  I have quite a few pinned on my Learning games and activities board.  Books worked well for us, as well as singing.  Sometimes I would even ask him to perform tricks for me while I was sitting.  And when all else failed I turned to Netflix or PBS Kids.  Did I mention that

Did I mention that having twins also taught me to lower my standards a little?

9. Remind your older children that they are special, too!  Sometimes older siblings have jealousy issues, and then sometimes they have twin fame issues. 😉  Twins not only require a lot of extra attention from mom and dad, they also attract a lot of attention when you are out and about.  People love to look at them and ask questions about them, which might leave your older children feeling a little ignored or neglected.

Going on one-on-one dates really helped our older children when they were exhibiting signs of attention-deprivation.  Also, relatives stepped in often and took one or both of them for special activities or sleep-overs.  Sometimes it’s as simple as mentioning something special about your older children when people are ooo-ing and aaahhh-ing over the twins.

 

10. Remember that it does get easier!  Those early months are oh-so-tough.  I well remember the sleepless nights, the double diaper blow-outs, the duets of screaming banshees, the illness multiplied by two in winter months, and sometimes it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel.  But there is!

Those twins will grow up and while you’ll always have two at the same stage, rather than one, as they grow older it feels a lot less like double duty and a lot more like having two children very close in age.

Believe it or not, our twins are so different in looks and personality that sometimes I momentarily forget about their special bond!

Focus on one day at a time, until you can focus on one week at a time, and eventually one month, and before you know it, you’ll be thriving instead of just surviving!

11. Count your blessings.  On those really rough days, the ones when you barely limp across the finish line that we mamas like to call bedtime, try to let go of the challenges and remember the blessings of having twins.

There are many difficulties in raising twins, but there are equal, if not more, unique blessings wrapped into those challenges.  So when the days are dark, count those blessings.  Remind yourself of the things that you enjoy about your double gift, how one baby catches the other’s eye and both faces light up, how  they “talk” back and forth to one another, even answering one another’s cries.  Remember those good things; cling to them!

12. Pray.  It sounds simple and everyday, but it’s not. Prayer is powerful!  Some days I woke up after a sleepless night asking the Lord for supernatural strength because I just didn’t have it in me.  He literally carried me, not just mentally but physically,  through many of those early weeks or even months.  I know others were praying for me, too – the power was almost palpable at times.

Don’t underestimate the Power of the Spirit; pray for the things you need to raise those twins – for finances, for strength, for wisdom.  I even consulted the Lord on such mundane things as “Should I pick up this crying baby or would it be better to let him cry it out?”

While I didn’t get a direct answer to that question, I was overwhelmed by the peace of His presence.  And suddenly, I realized that maybe it didn’t even matter as much as I thought it did.

 Maybe there is no perfect way to parent, no perfect way to potty train or sleep train or breastfeed or, or, or…  That peace set me free. 🙂

For expectant twin mothers and those already in the throes of twin motherhood - these 12 tips will help you survive the early years!

Proverbs 3

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

If you have young twins or are about to have twins (or even children very close in age), I hope you find this post helpful.  And if you are already a twin mama and you have some advice to share, please feel free to share in the comments!  I love finding out what works for other moms and seeing if it will also work for me.

Enjoy it while it lasts!

Jen 🙂

*This post makes use of affiliate links.  Jen is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Thank you for helping to support this blog!

Sharing this post with: How Do You Do It?

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christian Parenting, Encouragement, family, infants, Moms, Motherhood, Multiple Births, NICU, parenting, peace, premature babies, Twins

Much Ado about Missions: The Experience

July 22, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 11 Comments

Welcome to Week 2 of our Much Ado about Missions blog-hop series!  If you’re joining us for the first time, in the first week we zeroed in on the need for emphasizing global missions and how we can accomplish that even within our homes. Be sure to stop by our Week 1 wrap-up for informative posts on the best resources for missional families, fun crafts on how to introduce your kids to missions, and the missional M&Ms.

While we discussed impacting our homes in week one, this week we’ll be discussing how to impact our communities and even our world through missions experiences and outreach opportunities for you and your family.

If you’ve been following this blog, you know that my husband is a minister in a small country town.  So, by nature of his job, our family experiences a lot of community outreach through our church and even aside from the church.

However, we also want our family to be involved in things that have an impact beyond our community.

As Christian parents, we want to be mindful of the needs in that great big world out there and have the Lord’s heart for the nations.  I listened to a sermon recently given by a missionary who said that he drove a single mile  to the church he was speaking at that morning and passed 3 churches on the way! Yet in an unreached people group in China that is 15 million strong, not a single church exists. Not. One.

So, I’m going to start out the week by challenging you to leave the comfort of your own home, your own city, your own state and try something as a family that could potentially change many lives.

My husband and I want our children to understand the importance of global missions as much as they understand community service and outreach, and that requires us to stretch beyond what is comfortable.

Experiencing firsthand is so much more powerful than just hearing about it from missionaries who come to speak at church or, for my family, from your former MK wife/mother. 🙂 So, we’ve put together a very brief list of experiences that could benefit the whole family.

Do your children understand the importance of world missions? Speaking as a former MK, there is nothing like experiencing missions for yourself to help your family become more missions-minded. #missions #family #parenting #misisonsexperiences missions for the whole family | world changers | Wayumi | missions trips |teach your family about missions | teaching kids about missions | missions and children |church |sunday school |home | Christian parents | missional women | missional families

4 Missions Experiences for Your Family

1. Church missions trips – If your church is offering a missions trip experience, this would be the perfect way for you, and possibly your family, to experience and serve alongside a missionary that your church is already connected with (whether in the states or abroad).

While  heading into unfamiliar territory, you would at least have the comfort of travelling and experiencing right alongside other members of your church.  This type of trip helps you to better understand the need as well as the missionaries you help support.

2. Wayumi – if  leaving your home country to serve in a remote location scares the pants off of you, or just isn’t possible for medical reasons, etc., why not start with a missions experiences available right here in America through New Tribes Mission? (Update: New Tribes Mission has rebranded and is now Ethnos 360)  You can spend anywhere from 1 day to a week at Wayumi, a center located in Pennsylvania, and be exposed to other cultures, the trials of language study, and so forth.

Although the experience offers very realistic replications of tribal huts, tribal foods, and so on, some modern conveniences are still available.  It’s a way to learn about missions and perhaps even stretch yourself and your family a bit, but the cost is significantly less than an overseas trip.

3. Serve with New Tribes Mission (NTM) – http://usa.ntm.org/go – (Update: New Tribes Mission has rebranded and is now Ethnos 360) this non-denominational missions organization that focuses on church planting along with scripture translation offers a variety of opportunities for families and even college students.  Short term, service-based trips last anywhere from 2-4 weeks, while longer stays of a year are necessary for associate workers who go to fill an immediate need.

College students can even earn credits through the Interface internship program in Papua New Guinea.

Most importantly, this organization is always searching for teachers who would be willing to serve for 1-2 years in their overseas schools! Many missionary children (such as myself as an MK) attend boarding school at a central base so that their parents can focus on language learning without the added responsibility of homeschooling (although many do homeschool through elementary grades). One way for those with teaching experience to help spread the gospel to the unreached is to serve by teaching missionary kids.

4. World Changers – http://www.lifeway.com/worldchangers/index.php/about/ – is a program for youth through college-age students.  These trips usually take place in the summer months, when groups travel to specific cities to complete community service projects.  In the past, some groups have gone to inner city ministries, disaster areas for restoration projects, etc.

This is not your everyday community service.  Students complete bible study/training beforehand, including learning how to use evangelistic tools.  If you have or know a youth, this program is an excellent way to teach them how to be someone who changes the world!

These are just a very few of the multitude of opportunities to serve your world beyond your neighborhood, your town, your state, even your country!

Do you want to raise children who are aware of global mission? This series focuses on ways to help your family be more missions-minded. #Christianfamily #parenting #missions #teachingkids global mission | missionaries| homeschool | Church | children | teaching missions | focus on missions | missions week| missions fair | raising missional kids | purposeful parenting | godly kids

What can your family do to stretch and grow beyond what is normal and familiar to you?  

How might you consider helping to reach the most unreached peoples of the Earth, the third of our world  population who currently have no hope?

I know that God asks believers to fill a variety of roles in the Body, of which missions is only one.  But I also know that God’s heart is for all nations, not just the one we live in.

I read another missionary comment recently that said what is most needed is not more money.  He reminded us, “Jesus is the fishes and loaves guy.”  What is needed is those who will be willing to advocate for the most unreached people groups and those who will be willing to answer the call of “Whom can I send?”

Deny self

As I mentioned in the Introduction of this blog-hop, I don’t have all of the answers, even for our family.  However, I do believe it is something that all Christians should prayerfully consider.

How will you respond?

Jen 🙂

If you know of another firsthand missions experience opportunity, please feel free to share with the readers in the comments!

Want to learn more about the value of a firsthand missions experience for teens?  Read here:
http://www.wordslingersok.com/2013/07/7-reasons-teens-need-to-go-on-short-term-mission-trips-2/

The best way to teach your family to be missions-minded is to experience world mission for yourselves! Here are 4 missions experiences for your family to consider. #missions #missionalfamily #parenting #family missions experiences for the family | misison trips for teens | missions trips for families | missions trips for kids | how to be more missional | church | world missions ||teaching kids about missions

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christian living, Christian Parenting, Christianity, family, Mission, Missions, Moms, Much Ado About Missions Series, New Tribes Mission, Outreach, Papua New Guinea, purposeful parenting, Short-term mission, Unreached people group, Wayumi, World Changers

Much Ado about Missions: 8 Resources for Teaching Missions

July 15, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 27 Comments

As I mentioned in my last post, Global Missions has really been on my mind and heart recently, so I’ve joined forces with two amazing bloggers to do a series of posts on developing a missions mindset within the home.

This week our focus is on ways to teach or emphasize missions in our own homes.

When I began researching for materials on missions to use with our four children (ages 4 through 13) in the home, I was pleasantly surprised by the variety of options available! I’ve compiled a list of favorite finds to share with you all.

8 Resources for Teaching Missions to Kids

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit Being Confident of This’s About page.  Thank you for supporting the ministry of this site!

1.       Growing Up Wild DVD series –is about a family of missionaries living in a tribe in Indonesian Guinea.  This DVD series is unique because the missionary children are the ones narrating and introducing topics rather than the adults.

 

The Wild brothers even have their own blog! So far, we have only watched the video clips available on the website, but we plan to purchase or borrow a DVD or two from this series.  This method of teaching missions works well for antsy learners. 🙂

With so many people still unreached, what can Christian parents do to raise missions-minded children? #missions #kids #parenting biblical parenting |raising godly kids | Missions minded familes | teaching missions at home |homeschool | children's church |family discipleship | Being Confident of This | Christian living

2.        Caravan Friends website – is about the peoples of Asia – a country in the most unreached sector of the world.  I love this website   for teaching missions, and so did my four children (ages four to thirteen)! It is colorful and aesthetically pleasing.  The characters they have created help teach children about different areas of Asia, and my children really connected with them.

The videos were interesting to watch and after watching one only twice, my seven-year old was spouting off facts about the people groups there.  The stories are easy to read and not too long.  In fact, I had our seven-year old read several to his younger siblings and he was able.

The website also includes resources for parents and teachers who are teaching missions, such as printables, coloring pages, and other suggested activities (seriously, check out the activities tab for some amazing ideas), etc.  This would be the perfect site for someone wanting to lead a class on Missions for children, for a free homeschool curriculum resource, or for Children’s Church, Sunday School, AWANA, Vacation Bible School, etc.
3.       Trailblazer Books by Dave and Neta Jackson –  we just discovered this series of books and so far, the kiddos love them, even our thirteen-year-old son! 🙂  This series doesn’t solely focus on missionaries, but also on other Heroes of the Faith, such as Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther, etc.  Each biography is told from the point of a young, fictional narrator.

 

Right now we are nearly finished with the Samuel Morris story, and we have requests to read more of it nearly every day.  It’s one book that I have actually been tempted to read more of on my own, even!  Our four-year-old twins will usually only sit for one chapter at a time, but older children could easily read several chapters.  I was happy to find that amazon carries used copies of volumes that contain 5 stories each!  We bought several volumes for less than $20.  The volume pictured below features Harriet Tubman, but it also has 4 other biographies in it. 🙂

trailblazers

4.       Kids on Mission website – this website is put out by the International Missions Board of  the Southern Baptist denomination.   Kids on Mission offers a subscription that will provide you with a quarterly release on DVD.  However, according to the website, if you are willing to download the files from the internet directly, you can access them for free!  Under the prayer tab, there are even prayer requests from missionary kids themselves. What a unique resource for teaching missions. 🙂

5.       New Tribes Mission – is the organization that my parents worked through as missionaries to Papua New Guinea (PNG).  On their website you will find individual missionary pages and newsletters, as well as general information.  While this website is designed for adults rather than children, I included it because they often upload new videos from various tribes around the world. I know my children enjoy seeing what it’s really like on the mission field or hearing about missions from tribal people themselves.

*One note of caution:  not all stories are appropriate for all ages.  Be sure to preview the videos before showing them to your children.  Also, NTM publishes a magazine full of brief missionary stories that we often read to our children.  This resource, NTM@Work, is completely free.  All that is required of you is to go to the website  to sign up for it! 🙂

6.       Torchlighter DVD series – is very similar to the Trailblazer books in that it focuses on missionaries and other heroes of the Faith, but in a dvd format rather than a book format.  This series features people like Corrie Ten Boom, Augustine, and others who help spread the Good News.

Our kids’ favorites so far are the Amy Carmichael story and the Jim Elliot story.  Each animated feature is about 30 minutes in length. What better way to learn about missions than to hear the biographies of those who suffered for the faith, but impacted the world because of it! 🙂

7.       Windows on the World – is a curriculum that focuses on specific people groups, and their culture and beliefs.  Some of the information is factual in nature, but there are also stories about the people who live there and ways for children to pray for that particular group. This is an amazing resources for teaching missions with a global perspective.

Fun resources  to teach kids about global missions - at home, at school, and at church! teaching boys | teaching girls | missional family | purposeful parenting | Christian parenting | church | home | homeschool |  #teachingmissions #missionalfamily #global #kids

 

8.       Missionary Stories With the Millers – This book of short stories about real life events that missionaries have experienced was recommended to me by a friend and is on our wishlist! These stories are shorter in nature and would be easier for younger children to sit and listen to.

As I shared previously, I sometimes struggle with the question of “Am I doing enough?”

But I know that this is a good start, to teach my children of the great need. (It doesn’t hurt for me to learn more about the various people groups in need, either!)

Who knows?

We could be raising the next generation of missionaries right within our own homes!

The next post in the bloghop can be found over at  Love Notes . Sarah shared more about engaging our children’s hearts in missions in Missional M&Ms!

If you have a tried and true resource for teaching Missions at home, would you please share with us in the comments?  Thanks!

Jen 🙂

Also sharing this post with: Hive Resources, Grace and Truth

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit Being Confident of This’s About page.  Thank you for supporting this blog!

Do you want to raise children who are aware of global mission? This series focuses on ways to help your family be more missions-minded. #Christianfamily #parenting #missions #teachingkids global mission | missionaries| homeschool | Church | children | teaching missions | focus on missions | missions week| missions fair | raising missional kids | purposeful parenting | godly kids

Filed Under: Christianity, Parenting Tagged With: AWANA, children's ministry resources, family, Jesus, Missions, missions mindset, Much Ado About Missions Series, purposeful parenting, teaching missions, teaching missions to kids, unreached people groups, Vacation Bible School

Much Ado about Missions Series: Global Missions

July 11, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 25 Comments

Since I spent the majority of my growing up years as an MK (missionary kid), global missions is a subject close to my heart.

But lately, I’ve been plagued by questions of “Am I doing enough?” and “What else can I do?”

So what’s the big deal about global missions anyway?  We’re all called to be missionaries where we live, right?  Yes, we should be sharing the gospel in our homes, with our neighbors and co-workers, and so forth as is commanded in scripture.

The big deal about global missions is that nearly one-third of the world’s total population remains unreached, meaning these people have had little to no opportunity to hear the message of salvation!  These people groups often live in fear of evil spirits or gods and sometimes even participate in horrors like witch-burnings and ritual killings as a result of those fears.  Some are trapped by societal boundaries of caste systems or governmental boundaries such as communism.

What can moms do to further the spread of the gospel to unreached people groups? We can start right in our own homes! Join us for a series on teaching missions at home for parents, teachers, children's ministers, sunday school teachers, etc. #missions #family #parenting #teaching

 

While we here in America are blessed to find churches on many street corners and  bibles not only in our own language, but also in a plethora of translations, our overseas friends are not.

Even driving down the highway, we often see crosses or billboards proclaiming God’s truth.  And with the rise of the Internet, the possibilities are further increased!  Those unsaved relatives, friends, and neighbors might not know Jesus personally, but most of them at least know of Him.

Why is global missions so crucial? And what can we do to further the spread of the gospel to unreached people groups? We can start right in our own homes! Source of info: The Joshua Project

But for a tribal man, woman, or child in an unreached location, the gospel message is simply not present. By some estimates, the ratio of American churches to unreached people groups  is 140:1.

One hundred forty American churches for every one group of people still waiting to hear the Good News! Are you as surprised by that number as I am?

What Parents Can Do about Global Missions

As a church planter’s wife, I know the unsaved are with us here too, but the need for these unreached people groups is even more urgent yet often more easily ignored.

They have no neighbors who believe, no Bibles to read, no billboards, no Internet, no gospel tracts, no revivals, no churches, no outreach ministries… nothing to connect them with life-giving Good News!

We have a responsibility as Christ-followers  to reach out to the unsaved on all levels – within our families, our local communities, our countries, and yes, even our world! Let’s not forget our overseas brothers and sisters who are without hope.

Why is global missions so crucial? And what can we do to further the spread of the gospel to unreached people groups? We can start right in our own homes!

We must be involved with global missions in some way (even if we can’t physically go ourselves), and we must teach our children the importance of reaching the unreached, whether they live nearby or  halfway around the world. Not to be “good” Christians or to pat ourselves on the back but because…

People.

 are.

 dying.  

without ever having even a single opportunity to hear of the Father’s great love for us, without a chance to experience true freedom.

Please take a moment to view this powerful message from the Joshua Project. I promise it will be worth your time! Be sure to watch it to the very end – the last few seconds are important.

You Should Know (English) Video by MUP.ORG from Mustang International on Vimeo.

So, what can we do?  We may not all be able to go at this point in time, so how can we reach out beyond what is comfortable to us? How can we foster a missions mindset in our homes?  I’ll be honest with you that I struggle with these questions.   What exactly does the Lord require of me and our family in regards to missions?

I don’t have all of the answers, even for myself.  My husband is a pastor and much of our “missions” work occurs right here in our neighborhood, but I am convinced that I must not forget that there is a world of dying, unreached people out there, as well.

I hope this bloghop series will answer at the least a few of those questions for us and for you, our readers about our role in global missions.

In addition to my own posts, I’m very blessed to have two other bloggers join me in this missions series, as we attempt to answer some of these questions.

My sister Sarah, from Love Notes,  not only grew up on the mission field, she also elected to return to PNG  (Papua New Guinea) for a while during her single years.  Currently, she and her minister husband serve at a church in Ohio, as well as at the local city mission.

My blog-savvy cousin Angie, from My Four Monkeys, is a homeschooling mama of four.  Angie writes all over the web for companies like Tommy Nelson and Alex Toys, as well as on her own blog.  She also serves faithfully in her local church, alongside her husband.

We are excited to share with you some amazing materials and methods for teaching missions in your home or in your church, as well as ways to experience missions as a family, and even ways to pray specifically for the most unreached people groups of the world.

The first post, 8 Resources for Teaching Missions in the Home, is live now!

Jen 🙂

Read the series by clicking the images below:

With so many people still unreached, what can Christian parents do to raise missions-minded children? #missions #kids #parenting biblical parenting |raising godly kids | Missions minded familes | teaching missions at home |homeschool | children's church |family discipleship | Being Confident of This | Christian livingThe best way to teach your family to be missions-minded is to experience world mission for yourselves! Here are 4 missions experiences for your family to consider. #missions #missionalfamily #parenting #family missions experiences for the family | misison trips for teens | missions trips for families | missions trips for kids | how to be more missional | church | world missions ||teaching kids about missions                                         T.H.U.M.B. is a simple strategy to teach your family how to pray for the world's largest unreached people groups. You can be involved in world missions right from your home by praying for the unreached! #missions #prayingTHUMB #prayerstrategy #parenting Christian parenting | missions week | missions focus | church |teaching children | teaching kids about missions | praying for the world | praying for missions |prayer strategy |missional family | missional women

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more statistics on why the need is so great, read here:

http://writtenreality.com/209-million-is-a-very-big-number/

http://weheartnepal.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/life-in-the-fll-why-we-do-what-we-do-part-2/

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Christ-centered living, family, Jesus, Joshua Project, Missionary Kid, Missions, Motherhood, Much Ado About Missions Series, Papua New Guinea, parenting, teaching missions, the Great Commission, tribal groups, Unreached people group

It Was Ugly (A Five Minute Friday)

July 6, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 37 Comments

Five Minute Friday: Beautiful

The day didn’t start out this way. We left for the beach with smiles on our faces, anticipation building with each mile that passed. We had our swimsuits on, our sand buckets packed, our snack sack filled. We were heading into what was sure to be a beautiful day.

But then it turned ugly.

There was a bee sting and disobedient children followed by a sudden realization that all was not well. Disappointment, frustration, harsh words, and fear all balled up into one, a wound ripped open in the midst of a beautiful day. It was the kind of deep wound that ruins any thought of fun or enjoyment. And the children were watching, and I felt stuck.

I didn’t want to go to the beach anymore. I didn’t want to spend another second within a five-foot radius of him. I wanted to admit defeat, to go home and sob in my bed, alone. I wanted to …

To read the rest, click here and follow me to the new home of this article.
It was Ugly, how an argument threatened to ruin a beautiful day, how to recover when you feel stuck,  hope for redemption of a bad day

 

 

Filed Under: Christianity, Parenting, Women of Faith Tagged With: Arguments, Beauty, Biblical truth, Comfort, Faith, family, Five Minute Friday, Happiness, How to overcome, Marriage, Motherhood, parenting, peace, prayer, Redemption

5 Ways to Stretch a Budget: Part 2 (the practical bit)

June 25, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Yesterday I shared with you the first half of 5 Ways to S-t-r-e-t-c-h a Budget.  If you haven’t read the first half, I encourage you to do so as it contains the foundation of our frugal living.  In these tough economic times, it’s hard to find ways to make a small budget work, especially if you have a large family and are living on a single income. These tips should help.

And now, for part 2:

3. Pray for Your Needs and 4. Buy Gently Used

(these two overlap quite a bit)

Appliances – Finding good deals on appliances is admittedly harder than saving money on other items, but it can be done!  Our first action is to pray about it.  Remember, the Lord promises to provide for our needs.  Our favorite money-saving techniques when buying gently used appliances are to look at garage sales, ask friends and family to be on the lookout for us, check craigslist, buy scratch and dent, and so forth.

Vehicles – We have never had a car payment, ever. When we realize that it’s time for a new (to us) vehicle, we start praying! Sensing a theme yet? 🙂 We know we cannot afford a car payment while attempting to pay down student loans, so we ask God to send us a vehicle that will meet our needs as well as our budget.  Praise the Lord, He has always provided the vehicles we needed, sometimes even at no cost to us, including the necessary switch to a minivan before the birth of our twins!  Then, we are often able to pass on the blessing by giving our old vehicle to someone else in need.

For necessary car repairs, we also pray.  My husband does whatever he can himself, but if it’s a major repair, we usually have to ask for help.  We’ve been blessed with some mechanics in the family, but when they are busy we have also turned to church family or friends.  If you know someone mechanically minded, you could even trade services – offer to babysit, make a meal, or some other skill you or your husband have!

Furniture – In our home, you will not find new furniture. It’s a luxury we cannot afford, although I’ll admit I’ve been tempted at times!  The majority of our furniture has come from garage sales, hand-me-downs, Goodwill, Craigslist, and so forth. We often pray for furniture needs as well, especially when we moved last year and our twins needed to graduate to full-sized beds and dressers of their own.

God provided a set of bunkbeds, a loft bed, a few dressers, a desk, and more – most of which came from one garage sale.  We had looked at loft beds online for our daughter’s room since it was going to be quite small, but they were very pricey. We prayed about it and just didn’t feel peaceful about spending that much money on a want.  That very weekend, God provided via the garage sale where we found a white loft bed with matching shelves and dresser – all for $50!  They wanted to get rid of it so badly, they even threw in an extra desk. Praise the Lord! If we had not been willing to wait, we would have unnecessarily spent well over $400.

Baby Items – We have pretty much outgrown the baby years here, but when we found out we were pregnant with twins over four years ago, I learned a lot about trusting God to provide for needs in this area.  He provided a second crib, clothing, a second exersaucer (which wasn’t even a need, really), and so forth from generous friends and even neighbors. We even found car seats we really liked on clearance in one of those moments when you know God is just blessing you for the fun of it! 🙂

I also shopped a lot of garage sales, but my favorite place to shop was the nearest second-hand baby store, called Once Upon a Child.  Not only are the gently used items half the price of a new item, but also outgrown baby clothing and items can be traded in for cash or store credit.  If you don’t have one in your area, check for another baby thrift store. E-bay was another source of gently used items that I utilized.  Last but not least, I often swapped items with ladies at church. For more ideas on how to save in the baby area, read 9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes.

Vacations – We do splurge a little in this area (at least what we call splurging). God has always provided a way for us to vacation when needed.

5 Ways to Stretch a Budget, big family on single income, make a tight budget work, how to save money, pastor's salary, vacation

Now that my husband ministers full-time, vacations are becoming much more of an actual need than a want, and as the saver in the family, I’m learning to see them that way. 🙂  However, the funding isn’t always available, even for a “cheap” vacation like camping. In this case, we have vacationed at relatives’ homes, we have swapped houses, and we have even found some ministries for pastor’s families who help provide lodging.  If you are a family in full-time ministry in desperate need of rejuvenation, please visit this site: http://www.lawrencewilson.com/free-retreats-vacations-pastors/ .

Utilities – You can only stretch this budget so far since heat and electricity are necessities (in this country anyway).  However, setting the thermostat at 66 or 67 in the winter months and 75 or 76  in the summer months saves quite a bit of money.  If you can’t go that far, even a couple of degrees can make a difference.

Consider rewarding your children for turning off unnecessary lights or appliances in the home to motivate them to keep utility costs to a minimum.  Additionally, we utilize the budget-billing program to keep our monthly costs even, which is easier to budget for. Consider investing in energy efficient appliances, but only if you have the finances to.  Again, if your budget is lacking, pray about it.

5. Do It Yourself Whenever Possible

Haircuts, Home  improvements, Home decorating, Lanscaping, Gardening, Sewing, Homemade cleaning products – whatever you can do on your own rather than paying someone else to do is like money in the bank!  A $25 pair of clippers lasts a long time – just sayin’. (See this tutorial to learn how to cut boy hair at home and my pinterest board for lots of other DIY tutorials.) Learn how to re-purpose everyday items such as baby wipes.  And with the invention of Pinterest and the DIY blogs readily available, we really have little excuse to avoid learning some new skills, right? 🙂

If you have already tried to d-i-y and it just isn’t working, why not trade services to save money on the things you need help with?  A few years ago, I promised my husband I would never again ask him to lay laminate wood flooring after we sold our previous home.  He was miserable doing it and encountered much difficulty, even with the help of my brother-in-law!  But we can barter with friends next time we need new flooring.

Praying for Needs, How to stretch an already tight budget, single income, large family, how to save money

So that’s how we live frugally to achieve our financial goals.  After 14 years of marriage, my husband has learned to appreciate my frugal nature, and I have learned to allow him to balance it out.  Sometimes it’s nice to have the freedom to buy something new, or something that is a want rather than a need.  I’m thankful for God’s wisdom in the mate He chose for me!

I’m sure I missed something, but I hope these ideas have helped you find areas in which you can stretch your budget, too!  Even if you currently have a budget with a little room to spare, why not consider cutting back in just one area so that you can support global missions or feed a hungry child?  When looking around our home, I can see there are things that we could live without even today, so I’m challenging myself here, too.  Remember that as with any changes in life, learning to live more frugally is a work in progress.  Even small steps can lead to success!

Have a great budget-stretching tip?  Share with us in the comments!

Jen 🙂

If you enjoyed this post, you might suggest these practical suggestions for making things last:

http://harvestlanecottage.blogspot.com/2013/06/forty-ways-to-use-it-up-wear-it-out.html

or this post with additional ideas for savings in order to live on one income:

http://yourmodernfamily.com/how-to-become-a-stay-at-home-mom-on-one-income/

or these postw detailing how to save on kids’ clothes:

9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes (part 1)

9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes (part 2)

 

Also linking up at:

Filed Under: Christianity, Parenting, Uncategorized, Women of Faith Tagged With: Budget, Devotional Thought, Faith, family, financial stewardship, Frugal living, God, Home, Moms, Motherhood, parenting, saving money, Shopping, Women

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Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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