4 Ways the Term Self-confidence Misleads Christian Women

September 30, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

“Mom, I can’t find my soccer jersey!” The oldest boy called out from his room. A frantic search party ensued as we had only 15 minutes until we needed to walk out the door for his game.

With a sinking heart, I headed for the laundry room, only to have my suspicions confirmed. I had completely forgotten to wash his jersey! Now he would have to play with already stinky pits.

I felt so frustrated with myself, but even more, I could see the disappointment on my son’s face. And just like that, I felt like a terrible mom. A complete failure who can’t even keep her kids in clean clothes!

What’s wrong with me?

But it didn’t stop there, no….the enemy of our souls used that stepping stone for the rest of the night to pummel me with reminders of just how worthless I was.

You’ve been there before, right friend? Maybe you let a friend or a spouse down? Maybe you deeply disappointed people at work or at church? You forgot an important appointment? Lost your temper? Didn’t meet your personal goal?

You failed in some way (whether major or minor), and your confidence is shaken.

You’re not alone!

4 Ways Self-Confidence Misleads Christian Women

The truth is that what the world calls self-confidence is actually very misleading in many ways. In fact, self-confidence is pretty much the opposite of what the gospel teaches us about ourselves.

First, self-confidence misleads Christian women by focusing on self.

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23 (NIV)

Did you catch that, friend? To follow Christ is to deny self in favor of following Him! If we want to be confident, Christian women, then we cannot be focused on self. We must recognize that our confidence doesn’t come from who we are in this world.

We know that according to Scripture, there is nothing good in us and we all miss the mark of perfection (Rom. 3:23, Rom. 7:18). We are inherently sinful beings, prone to wander (as the hymn rightly claims). So any confidence based on the flesh is already on a shaky foundation.

Second, self-confidence misleads Christian women because it doesn’t last!

Self-confidence is often based on what we do, how others see us, how we appear – everything external rather than internal. It is rooted in comparisons, achievements, popularity with others, and so forth. Thus, we all relate to modern catch-phrases like “mom guilt.”

Confidence based on self is just one moment away from failure! It doesn’t matter how many times we’ve been patient with our children, sacrificed for our husbands, served our friends, obeyed God, and so forth. Because the one time we mess up, we’re back to square one. We’re failures. We can’t do anything right. Right?!

Again, confidence in the flesh is only temporary: one moment away from disaster.

Third, self-confidence misleads Christian women by being easily faked.

One look at social media opens our eyes to this truth! Because self-confidence is based mostly on external factors rather than internal worth, it can be easily faked. We can photoshop all we want, throw out all of the positive affirmations we can think of, stage our photos, and so forth, but still struggle with insecurity on the inside!

How often are we shocked when someone we know, someone who seemed to “have it all together,” admits to feeling depressed or lonely? Why are we surprised when seemingly happy celebrities end their own lives?

Confidence based on self is only as strong as our swagger.

Sad, isn’t it?

Fourth, self-confidence misleads Christian women by enslaving us.

When we set our sights on self-confidence, we either become content that we are “enough” already or we strive for perfectionism and the elusive “got-it-all-together” act. One extreme or another.

But even more concerning, often, as Christian women, we trend toward works – being the “good Christian girl.”

Either extreme leads us away from God’s plan for us, and guess who wins then? The enemy.

You see, friend, self-confidence is directly opposed to the gospel truth that we all fall short, we all need a Savior to redeem us and transform us from the inside out. We’re not “enough” on our own, yet like the apostle Paul, none of us have already arrived at perfection (Philippians 3:13-15).

So when we swallow the world’s self-confidence pill, the one that trains us to focus on the external, we miss out on real peace, lasting joy, secure faith, and an authentic confidence that is not easily shaken!

When will we rise up and say, “No more!”?

What does the Bible teach about growing in authentic confidence?

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Scripture commands us NOT to conform to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed, from the inside out, starting with our minds! So, the first step toward a confidence that is centered on Christ rather than self is to change our patterns of thinking.

As Christian women, we cannot afford to approach confidence from the same perspective as the world!

This is why I’m so excited to tell you about The Confidence Journey online Bible study. With a focus on wisdom from the Word and a prayerful examination of lies we might be believing, transformation IS possible. We CAN have godly confidence!

The Confidence Journey is a Bible study workbook, a companion to the book I released last year, Being Confident of This. And I want to invite you all to join us for an online Bible study experience where we will study the root of authentic confidence together!

Class starts October 14th and runs for 6 weeks. Registration is OPEN now through October 8th – just click here for more details. And don’t forget to check out the BONUSES we’re offering for this unique experience.

My heart for you, my friend, is to see you walk in real, lasting confidence.

This world needs more confident Christian women. Women who understand their worth, who walk free, who say yes to God, who live out the abundant life He has planned for them!

Will you join us?

Jen 🙂

Six Practical Ways to Take Your Thoughts Captive

June 24, 2019 by jstults 4 Comments

It was on my mind first thing in the morning, last thing before bed, and seemingly every other moment in between. I just couldn’t seem to escape the negative thoughts that had plagued me all week long.

The negative attitude I wrestled with came out not only in my thoughts, but in my speech, as well. Every chance I had, I grumbled about the undeserved injustice to my husband and to the Lord. I felt trapped by my own sin.

Take your thoughts captive.

The Spirit nudged me time and again, yet I couldn’t quite figure out how to do what Scripture so clearly teaches and make myself obedient to Christ. The idea seemed good in theory, but much more difficult in practice!

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NIV – emphasis added)

We know that as Christian women, we are responsible for not only our actions, but also our actions and attitudes. We know we’re supposed to control our thoughts and to renew our minds, but how do we actually do that?

The following practical tips will help you take your thoughts captive!

6 Practical Ways to Take Your Thoughts Captive

1.Truth Journaling to take your thoughts captive.

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32 (NIV)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Scripture teaches us that a knowledge of God’s truth brings real freedom! And that transformation takes place as we allow our minds to be renewed with such truth. When we feel paralyzed by a negative attitude, we must take our thoughts captive by comparing each thought with the truth.

You can easily do this by simply writing down a lie you might be tempted to believe or a wrong thought you’re having and then write the truth right next to it. Even better, add a scripture to back up the truth you wrote down.

If you struggle with the same negative thoughts often, you’ll want to pay close attention to the next tip because it is a natural extension of truth journaling!

2. Scripture Memorization & Meditation to take your thoughts captive.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11 (NIV)

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1:8 (NIV)

The Bible teaches us to think about things that are true, honorable, pure – everything that is good (rather than everything that is negative!).

One of the most practical ways to “set your mind” is to memorize and meditate on Scripture, especially bible verses that pertain to the particular negative thoughts that plague you!

Do you wrestle with Anger? Memorize and meditate on Proverbs 15:1. Unforgiveness? Memorize and meditate on Ephesians 4:32. You get the idea – find a bible verse that speaks to your specific negative thoughts and take your thoughts captive!

The more time you spend with scripture, the easier it is for the Spirit to bring those previously memorized verses to mind in the midst of a negative thought. In addition, hiding God’s Word in our hearts (memorizing it) and meditating on it can actually prevent sin and encourage obedience in our lives!

Even Jesus fought temptation using scripture when faced with the enemy in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-4)!

3. Sensory Input for taking your thoughts captive.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:1-2 (NIV)

Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world. ~ Martin Luther

One trick for changing a thought pattern my husband and I learned through counseling is to use some sort of sensory input as a trigger to remind you to focus on truth or reality rather than fear, anger, etc.

My husband prefers a physical object (like a coin he can keep in his pocket) to touch when negative thoughts assail him, while I prefer to turn on some encouraging music.

Perhaps you need a visual reminder (like a Bible verse or a quote) placed in a strategic spot is a better form of sensory input for you. Likewise, your sense of smell could be a better trigger for truth through the use of an essential oil or a scented lotion.

Find a method that works best for you – something that will get your attention and remind you to set your mind and heart on things above!

4. Confessing your sins to take your thoughts captive.

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13 (NIV)

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16a (NIV)

Hidden sin festers like rotten food, destroying us from the inside out. However, we cannot overcome what we aren’t willing to even acknowledge.

As Christ-followers, we are called to honest confession (1 John 1:5-9) because dragging our darkness out into the light brings freedom!

Confessing sin isn’t easy, but it is necessary for real Christian growth. If you struggle to take your thoughts captive, enlist the help of an accountability partner – someone rooted in the Word and reliable enough to confront you regularly about your thought life.

An accountability partner can serve not only to help you drag sin out into the light, but they can also be a good prayer warrior on your behalf, which leads to the next tip for overcoming negative thinking…

5. The Power of Prayer for taking your thoughts captive.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. Romans 8:5 (NIV)

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16b (NIV)

If we want to be Spirit-led women, then we must set our minds on God’s ways rather than our own desires.

Yet some days, setting our minds on the Spirit feels impossible, doesn’t it? Whether we are simply wrestling with the flesh or experiencing a spiritual attack, resisting negative thoughts is often a moment-by-moment choice.

Alongside the Word of God, prayer is our next best weapon against the lies and temptations we face daily. Prayer is powerful, friends!

If your negative thoughts have to do with your self (your flaws, your identity, etc.), then ask God to guard your mind and keep you centered on His truth (Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 5:7).

If your negative thoughts concern others, pray for them (Matthew 5:44). Ask God to give you His love for them.

When you’re really wrestling with a sin or an issue, enlist other prayer warriors like the apostle Paul did (Philippians 1:19, Romans 15:30). After all, even Jesus requested the prayer of his closest friends when he faced the cross (Matthew 26:36-38). link to Divine Encounter

6. Physical activity to take your thoughts captive.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV – emphasis added)

One final practical way to overcome negative thinking by adjusting your attitude is to get some exercise! The natural endorphins released when we are physically active can turn a sour mood into a sweeter one. I’ve witnessed this truth at work not only in my own life, but also in the life of one of our sons who always has a lot of pent up energy and emotions.

Angry thoughts, in particular, can often be overcome by working out some agression physically (go for a walk or run, punch a punching bag, etc.). Sadness and anxiety can also be helped by a brisk walk, especially if it gets you outdoors into nature!

And while you’re exercising your body, you can exercise your mind by training it to think on all that is true and lovely.

As much as we might wish for it, there is no magic pill to cure a negative attitude. Even the tried and true methods mentioned above for an attitude adjustment won’t always work alone. Many times we need a combination of scripture, prayer, confession, accountability, and other practical helps to overcome our negative thoughts!

Don’t give up, friend.

Renewing your mind isn’t a one-and-done deal. It takes real perseverance!

But as women who are new in Christ, we are no longer slaves to sin.

Choose a mind that’s been renewed!

Jen 🙂

Don’t forget to grab your FREE printable of scriptures selected to help you overcome negative thinking and take your thoughts captive! Join our newsletter list for access to our entire library of free printable resources for Christian women.

Christian Beware – The Dangers of Greener Grass

June 4, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

When we first moved to our small community, one of the things I appreciated most about our new home was the big, beautiful backyard surrounded by a brown picket fence. The security of a fence gave this mama of four much peace of mind!

At the time, our little ones could climb over the fence if they really wanted to, but we made it clear that the child who chose to breach that barrier without permission would face serious consequences.

So, the physical barrier of our fence served as a constant reminder to stay inside where it is “safe.”

But as much as I loved our fence, it could only protect my children if they obeyed me by staying inside its confines. The boundary was no longer useful should they decide to venture outside of it!

The Dangers of Greener Grass

And I’ve seen him, our littlest boy, eyeing the gate from time to time…looking for the proverbial greener grass. What would happen if he chose to leave the security and protection of our fenced backyard for the greener grass?

Perhaps nothing, at first. In fact, we may not even catch him doing it right away.

Escaping negative consequences, he would likely decide to slip out unnoticed again….and again… and yet again… until one time, he ventures far enough to find himself suddenly facing grave danger.

And like disobedient Peter Rabbit suddenly face-to-face with the Gardener, he quickly understands the reason behind the boundary, the one he crossed without permission, the one meant to protect him, not to ruin his fun.

But it’s too late.

The damage is done and now he must deal with the consequences, whatever they might be.

A Biblical Perspective on Boundaries

Does the story sound familiar? It reminds me of Eden. God gifted Adam and Eve with a panoramic paradise, a perfect relationship to enjoy, and a life of ease with all of their needs provided for.

It reminds me of Eden. God gifted Adam and Eve with a panoramic paradise, a perfect relationship to enjoy, and a life of ease with all of their needs provided for.

And he gave them one rule. One.

But you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die. Genesis 2:17 (NIV)

The scripture records that before they disobeyed, Adam and Eve walked around naked and felt no shame.

Can you imagine? Feeling no shame? Ever? We’d be like toddlers running naked after a bath, full of joy and exuberance, not a care in the world.

Total freedom and wild abandonment – that, my friends, was God’s original desire for us: to live a free and abundant life of pleasure in a world of paradise!

But we chose our own way.

When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, the whole world changed. They abandoned the the protection of the boundary to venture out on their own, embracing the dangers of greener grass.

The consequences were immediate and disastrous: separation from God.

Imagine the sorrow of a Father God sending his beloved children away from the garden, knowing that for the time being, they would suffer and struggle, knowing also that one day, His only Son would pay a terrible price for their single indiscretion.

Imagine the despair of being forced from that beautiful paradise, and the weight of knowing evil for the first time.

One rule; one choice.

How often are we like these original sinners, or that curious four-year-old? We fail to understand the reasoning behind the boundaries God sets for us.

Instead, we seek the illusion of greener grass.

Like the four-year-old investigator, we fail to see the danger lurking at first. We might not suffer any harm, or so we think.

But each time we leave those boundaries that our loving Father set to protect us, we take a bigger risk. And one time, we’ll have gone too far.

We’ll find ourselves face to face with danger, with the serpent, with Satan.

With His lies, he ensnares.

He promises freedom, but delivers slavery.

You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44 (NIV)

The Truth about Greener Grass

My friends, why oh why do we choose to leave the protection of the fence? Why do we ignore God’s carefully placed boundaries?

There isn’t any greener grass; in fact, it’s a hollow deception, a mirage. What lies on the other side of that lovingly placed boundary is

t…h…i…c…k mud,

sand,

miry clay.

That movie that you really shouldn’t watch, that book you shouldn’t read, that person you shouldn’t be with, that unhealthy substance you so desire, all provide satisfaction that is only temporary at best, not forever paradise. Your choice to willingly disobey only brings you danger, heartaches and burdens, so many burdens.

And each time you venture out, you risk more. You risk a reputation, a relationship, a marriage, a child, a ministry, sometimes even your very life.

God’s Boundaries Protect Us

The truth is, the only green grass you’ll find in life, the only abundant paradise, is right within our Father God’s fence. His boundaries exist for you, not against you; for your benefit, not your detriment; for your protection, not your suffocation.

Like a parent looking after a beloved child, He gently guides you away from evil in this world, if you allow Him.

The law of the Lord is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
giving light to the eyes. Psalm 19:7-8 (NIV)

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers. Psalm 1:3 (NIV)

So, the next time you think you see a prime piece of greener grass just over the boundary, remember Who built the fence and why He built it. Remember that what He most desires for you is life abundant. Remember the dangers of greener grass!

If you choose to stay inside the protection of the fence, the only thing you’ll miss out on is the Serpent’s deceit and the slavery that follows.

Choose freedom.

Choose abundance.

Choose life.

Jen 🙂

Here’s a great article with tips on dealing with temptation!

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You just finished an excerpt from Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy the book!

When Your Feelings Deceive You

May 15, 2019 by jstults 2 Comments

I entered the large waiting room with my family in tow. We knew it would be a long wait, so we brought games with us to play. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find an open spot to set up camp.

Just as I found a table that would work for us, a woman came and began to take it apart, feeding its pieces to the flames in the nearby fireplace.

At first I felt shocked, but then anger and frustration quickly followed. It seemed we faced obstacles in every direction we turned.

To top it all off, as I looked for a space to settle in, my phone and my mom’s computer went missing – stolen while my back was turned!

I stormed around the waiting room, looking for the culprit and managed to find my mom’s computer … just before my alarm woke me.

A sigh of relief.

It was just a dream, and boy was I ever thankful!

Yet even as I walked through our morning routine, I felt the lingering effects of the bad dream. Frustration and anger clung to me even as I dropped our children off at school. I knew what happened in my dream wasn’t real, but my feelings weren’t catching up to reality!

The truth is, my feelings often get the best of me!

Exercising self-discipline over my emotions is still a work-in-progress area for me. I tend to be an over-reactor with big emotions that often feel overwhelming. But the truth is, as a follower of Christ, I have everything I need to boss my feelings around instead of letting them boss me. So do you, friend!

My weird dream was just the reminder I needed – my feelings lie to me, and your feelings deceive you, too, friend.

The fact that our emotions don’t always reflect reality is scientific.

Did you know your emotions can hijack the function of your brain? You can literally be deceived by your own feelings!

When we find ourselves in what we perceive to be a fight-or-flight situation, our internal “alarm system” essentially overrides our ability to think clearly. According to this article, your feelings deceive you most often when the powerful emotion of fear comes into play.

We’ve all experienced this truth for ourselves, even if a situation isn’t as dire as a fight-or-flight problem. We know our feelings, whether good or bad, tend to linger. Sometimes they linger long past their welcome!

Recall the last time you argued with your spouse or a loved one. Even after resolving the situation, often sadness follows. How about the last time you watched a scary movie; were you just a bit more jumpy than normal when turning out the lights for bed? Or think about the last time you enjoyed some really great quality time with people you care about – the good feelings linger, too, don’t they?

Just as with my dream above, we can easily get worked up or upset about things that aren’t even true! Your feelings deceive you more often than you realize.

That’s why the Bible cautions us to guard our hearts and to avoid trusting in our own wisdom and emotions.

Your feelings lie to you – that fact isn’t just scientific, it’s also biblical!

When God created man and woman, he created us in His image, which means we have a spirit, a mind/will, and also emotions.

Our emotions are an important part of life here on earth – they bring us joy and purpose, while also serving to protect us from danger and harm.Yet our feelings can be tricky to interpret, and even more dangerous to trust.

In our current culture, feelings have become king. We hear many phrases that encourage us to fully embrace our tricky emotions:

“Follow your heart”
“Do what makes you happy”
“Find your best life”
“Just be yourself”

The problem with elevating our feelings and emotions to the point of “absolute truth” is that our human bodies, and therefore emotions, are hopelessly flawed!

Ever since Adam and Eve chose to break the one rule they were given because they falsely believed they knew best, humankind has been prone wander from what’s best. We consistently choose our “truth” over our Creator God’s omniscient Truth!

The Bible makes our tendency to wander very clear:

The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. Genesis 6:5

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. Galatians 5:16-17 (NIV)

According to this scripture, by nature our flesh wants the opposite of what the Spirit wants. We cannot follow our own desires if we truly want to be Spirit-filled women of God!

To focus our minds on the human nature leads to death, but to focus our minds on the Spirit leads to life and peace. Romans 8:6 (NIV)

There is a way that appears to be right,
but in the end it leads to death.
Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and rejoicing may end in grief. Proverbs 14:12-23 (NIV)

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. Proverbs 28:26 (ESV)

Romans and Proverbs agree that what seems right to sinful man, leads to death. Proverbs also points out how finicky our emotions are, too. Trusting our emotions seems to be a risky business!

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

Even Jeremiah agrees that our hearts are deceitful and difficult to understand.

My work-in-progress friend, don’t be deceived by your feelings. Don’t elevate emotions above the truth of God’s Word, even if the culture around you encourages you to do so!

Choose instead to give God’s Word the proper place of authority in your life, and you will reap all the benefits of a life lived according to the Word!

5 Christian Responses to Difficult Feelings and Emotions

If trusting in our own feelings and wisdom is really trusting in the flesh, then how should a Christian woman rightly respond?

Scripture encourages us to guard our hearts.

We must be careful what we take in, much like words of the childhood song tell us “Oh, be careful little eyes what you see..”

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

The more we think on things above, rather than earthly things (including our own feelings), the more we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Philippians 4:8, Romans 12:2)! When your feelings deceive you, examine the diet of your life – what are you taking in that may be contributing to negative feelings?

2. When struggling with your feelings, ask God to search your heart and reveal the truth to you.

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)

God is faithful! He has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us. We must be aware that our perception is often tainted, but we must be equally aware that our God is greater.

3. Be aware of the Accuser and His power play for your feelings!

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. Revelation 12:10 (NIV)

Satan is often referred to as the accuser. He loves to prey on our emotions and make us feel condemned. He desires to make us slaves to perfectionism and the kind of religious living that focuses on the outward rather than the inward. He is the great deceiver, eager to find our weak places.

Scripture teaches us to resist the Devil (James 4:7), and Jesus showed us we can do so using the truth we find in scripture (Matthew 4:1-11)!

4. Rather than trusting in your own heart, emotions, and understanding, place your ultimate trust safely in God’s hands.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Your feelings deceive you, but God has the power to make your way straight. All it requires, according to this scripture is submission to Him!

5. Let God’s truth boss your feelings around!

Remember if you are “in Christ,” you have been given a totally new nature (2 Corinthians 5:17)! Not only are you new in Him, but you also have direct access to His throne, meaning you can pray with full confidence! (Hebrews 4:16, 10:19) Don’t let your feelings deceive you into thinking life is too hard or too scary, or that you’re all alone.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

The new spirit God gave us is not one of fear, friend! According to the verses above, we have all that we need to walk in the Spirit – power, love, and self-discipline. We also have a God who cares about even that which seems insignificant. He wants us to come to Him with our cares and anxieties!

Let me leave you with this final scripture prayer today:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NIV)

The next time you struggle with difficult emotions, choose to respond in the Spirit rather than in the flesh. Look to the One who made you, the Author and Perfecter of your faith. Believe what His Word says is true!

Don’t let your feelings deceive you, friend.

Jen 🙂

5 Reasons to Study the Bible Chronologically

February 18, 2019 by jstults 7 Comments

I sat across the table from my friend and nodded along as if I understood what she was talking about. In our conversation, she referenced a biblical character and that character’s unique story.

I knew who she meant. I was familiar with the name. However, I wasn’t as familiar with the story as I let on. I was too ashamed of my lack of knowledge to tell her that I didn’t know the full story…

Even after several decades of studying God’s Word (some years more faithfully than others), I still don’t know all there is to know about the Bible!

My guess is you don’t know all there is to know, either, friends.

In fact, the research paints an increasingly dire portrait of how “biblically illiterate” our nation has become, even those who claim Christ and who claim to value His Word!

Fewer than half of all adults can name the four gospels. Many Christians cannot identify more than two or three of the disciples. According to data from the Barna Research Group, 60 percent of Americans can’t name even five of the Ten Commandments. “No wonder people break the Ten Commandments all the time. They don’t know what they are,” said George Barna, president of the firm. The bottom line? “Increasingly, America is biblically illiterate.” (from an article by Al Mohler, President of The Southern Baptists Theological Seminary)

This is my heart for discipleship, friends – I want to join in the work of laying that firm foundation in the lives of women and children around me and here at Being Confident of This.

I firmly believe one of the main culprits of insecure faith and lukewarm living is a lack of understanding.

The best solution? Study the Bible chronologically!

Through our church-planting journey, we’ve witnessed first-hand the destruction that partial-knowledge and half-truths cause when it comes to the Bible.

We’ve seen women and men make poor choices in their own strength because they didn’t yet fully understand the concept of a helpless sinner, nor a Father God who places boundaries lovingly and for our benefit.

We’ve talked with women and men who faithfully attended church for decades and counted themselves as part of God’s family… well… hopefully, they said.

We’ve encountered our fair share of mis-conceptions and outright deceptions, and all of this has taken place in small-town, Midwest America – not all that far from the Bible belt itself!

Friends, as a nation we’ve become Christian slackers, too willing to accept what others claim to be true about God’s Word instead of searching the Scriptures for ourselves, and it shows.

It shows in broken marriages and families, in attempted suicides and other self-harming behaviors.

It shows in “church kids” who rebel dramatically when they reach adulthood (or even sooner). It shows in current controversies like abortion, gender confusion, race issues, and a general culture of sexual immorality that is prevalent even within the church.

With that in mind, we should be thinking about and discussing with our spouses, our families, our churches, how to best counteract this trend.

We’ve already discussed the many benefits of studying God’s Word, but HOW should we study the Word?

*This post contains affiliate links. For more information on the use of affiliate links by Being Confident of This, please visit the About page. Thank you for supporting the ministry of this site!

5 Reasons to Study the Bible Chronologically

The best way to study God’s Word is to begin at the very beginning.

It makes sense, right? Creation to Christ teaching, also called chronological teaching, lays a foundation of understanding that is clearly absent in the modern church.

Not that other methods of study aren’t relevant or even necessary, but if you’ve never studied the Bible chronologically, as a whole, then you’re missing out!

Here are 5 Reasons why you need to study the Word chronologically:

Study the Bible chronologically to build a firm foundation.

Building a firm foundation is kind of a no-brainer when you think about it.

You can’t teach a student Algebra overnight, right?! Even simpler concepts like multiplication require a foundation of understanding addition, which requires a foundation of understanding how numbers work on a number line, which requires understanding that numbers are symbolic of actual objects, and so forth.

A deep and confident understanding of God’s Word begins with similar building blocks that make up a foundation. There are key concepts in the Bible we simply must understand in order to grow in our faith!

Unfortunately, many modern Christians remain immature – spiritual babes, either for lack of sound biblical teaching or for lack of personal Bible study. What a shame that we take for granted the living and active Word of God (and yes, I find myself guilty on this count, too).

Not only does lacking a firm foundation hinder us in our Christian growth, it can also leave us easy targets for the Enemy’s snares! For example, if we don’t fully understand the gospel and our position in Christ, then we are likely to struggle in our Christian walk. Instead of living in victory (despite hardships), we’ll live in doubt.

When Christ-followers try to wrap their heads around difficult topics like predestination or the problem of suffering without first building on this firm foundation, then they are like the foolish man who built his house on the sand (Matthew 7:24-27).

Hosea 4:5-6 demonstrates how a lack of knowledge leads to destruction!

You stumble day and night,
and the prophets stumble with you.
So I will destroy your mother—
my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.
“Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also reject you as my priests;
because you have ignored the law of your God,
I also will ignore your children.” (NIV)

Let’s not be women who are easily shaken or destroyed. Instead, let’s be like the wise man who built upon the rock (Matthew 7:24-27).

If you want to stand firm in your faith, you first need a foundation to stand on!

2. Study the Bible chronologically to follow God’s timeline.

Any time you study history or a story, it makes sense to travel from beginning to end. If we jump in in the middle of the story, we’re likely to miss important information. We may even become confused about the point or the purpose of the story.

Students of history, literature, science, music, art, and so forth understand that information is more meaningful when it’s given correct context.

Therefore, when we approach the Bible, we should study it in the same manner. Jesus’ death and resurrection is much more meaningful when we take the time to understand the background leading up to it – starting at the very beginning of time.

3. Study the Bible chronologically to grasp key Gospel concepts.

To understand and accept the truth of the Gospel, we must first fully understand our sin problem. While many acknowledge the problem of sin in our world, many also still cling to wrong thinking in regard to the solution.

You cannot be saved if you don’t first understand your need for a Savior.

In addition, without understanding the Old Testament sacrificial system, we cannot fully understand the death of Jesus – which is the center of our entire faith!

Do you know what Jesus really meant when he uttered, “It is finished!” shortly before his death on the cross? In fact, there are three separate, significant truths attached to that three-word phrase. None of which I knew until I studied the Bible chronologically.

Without understanding key concepts (like those above) that relate to the Gospel, we run the risk of being deceived into accepting false teaching.

Take for example, the Galatian church. In Galatians 5, we read that an outsider came and convinced the Galatian believers that they needed to be circumcised in order to be saved. Paul repsonded:

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. Galatians 5:7-8 (NIV)

In this age of information and mis-information, believers who aren’t fully grounded in the Word are easy prey for wolves in sheep’s clothing!

4. Study the Bible chronologically to understand the Big Picture.

Do you know why Abel’s sacrifice was described as “better than” Cain’s? Why did the Ark only have one door? Did God really ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac when He had explicitly forbidden His people from following this pagan ritual?

Did God really need to send ten plagues on Egypt instead of just freeing His people the first time? Why did God give ten commandments if He knew the Israelites wouldn’t be able to keep them? Why was Jesus born to a virgin? What’s significant about Jesus dying during Passover?

All too often, we learn Bible stories in isolation from one another rather than as pieces of a larger puzzle.

Many Christ-followers are familiar with the stories of Cain and Abel, Abraham and Isaac, the 10 Commandments, Jesus’ birth, and so forth (although current research shows this ability to be dwindling). However, not all believers understand the connections between these events and how they all point us to Christ!

(Below is my favorite tool for understanding the Big Picture!)

5. Study the Bible chronologically to follow the example of Jesus.

Remember that question from the 90s – WWJD? (What would Jesus do?)

If we apply that question to discipleship, we clearly see that Jesus often went back to early scripture to help others understand that He really was the Messiah!

Such is the case when He met up with the men traveling the Road to Emmaus. They were discussing recent events in Jerusalem (the crucifixion and resurrection) and trying to make sense of them. Instead of starting with His own identity, Jesus started by laying a foundation for the big picture.

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself. Luke 24:25-27 (NIV)

We see this same method of study and teaching used by the apostles throughout the book of Acts, and today it’s used successfully by overseas mission organizations, as well.

In my experience, studying the Bible chronologically is the most effective method of both evangelism and Christian growth.

We don’t have time to waste.

Friends, as I type these words, I sense some urgency.

We do not know how much time we have left on this Earth. We need to be secure in our faith. We also need to lead others to be saved and secure in their faith, as well.

“The message we are given in the Bible to take to the world is not a list of doctrines or topical points about God. What we declare is that which actually happened in time and space. It is read. It is factual. It is history. When we bypass or ignore the historical content of the Scriptures in which God has revealed Himself and divorce the words of God from their historical context, we are overlooking God’s basic form of revelation.” (Firm Foundations: Creation to Christ Children’s Edition pg. 34)

There are many misconceptions out there about who God is and what His plans for mankind are.

Obviously, if we fail to correctly understand God’s character or who we are as His followers, then we fail to experience the biblical confidence befitting a daughter of the King!

Do you need a firm foundation, friends?

Jen

*Sources for the above information include, the TERM Seminar put on by Goodseed, Intl. and Firm Foundations: Creation to Christ as mentioned above.

For further reading: How to Study the Bible: 4 Exceptional Resources

If you’re not a Facebook fan or email subscriber, you may have missed this announcement. But I still have a few spots left in our first ever online Bible study – The Whole Story – a 12 week course covering the big picture message of the Bible. Yes, it will be a chronological teaching approach from Creation to Christ! If you’re interested, just click the picture below for more information.

**UPDATE** Our Spring 2019 group is currently full, but you can still sign up below to join the waiting list for the next time our group opens!

How to Study the Bible: 4 Resources

January 25, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

As a church-planter’s wife, I have the privilege of leading a weekly Women’s Bible Study group. Walking with these women through life has taught me a great deal about Christian women in general.

Most of us would agree that we need more time in God’s Word. Most of us would also agree that we face many obstacles – time, desire, the know-how, and so forth.

I believe Christian women desire to study the Bible, but many just don’t know where to start!

And let’s be honest, not all Bible study resources are worthwhile.

That’s why I want to wrap up the Benefits of Bible Study series with a list of Bible Study Resources that we have used and loved. These are trusted resources for everyone, from beginners to experienced believers. We have used these tools personally, as well as with our Bible study groups.

How to Study the Bible: 4 Exceptional Resources

The FOCUSed15 Series from Katie Orr

My first introduction to this series came from Katie Orr herself when she spoke at our state women’s conference a few years ago. Each of Katie’s sessions were rich with the Word, and I loved her idea of real, focused Bible study that only takes 15 minutes a day. It’s perfect for busy women!

This past year, I took a group of women through her study Everyday Obedience, and we all enjoyed the grace-filled approach. And as a woman who struggles with perfectionism, this study was a perfect follow-up after finishing my own book manuscript – Being Confident of This.

Reasons why I think the FOCUS15 series is the perfect starting place for any woman who wants to learn how to study the Bible:

lessons only take 15 minutes a day (yes, this born skeptic actually timed it), but she also includes additional verses for further study
there is a “cheat sheet” located at the end of each chapter, perfect for beginners
Katie’s easy Bible study method doesn’t equal fluff – you will learn the FOCUS method of study

You can also find a lot of free Bible study resources at her website!

2. Blue Letter Bible Website

If you have ever used the excuse that you don’t have the resources for “real” Bible study, then this is the site for you!

Blue Letter Bible is a website similar to Bible Gateway and Bible Hub that is useful for studying God’s Word when you don’t have tools like concordances, dictionaries, and parallel Bibles at home (and to be honest, even if you have those resources, using Blue Letter Bible is quick and easy).

If you want to know what the Bible says about a particular subject, just type it in the search bar. You can also look up a verse and, using the “tools” button, you get instant access to an Interlinear Bible (useful for keyword study), a Bibles tab that contains many different translations for parallel reading, a dictionary tab, etc.

Basically, this FREE website is a one-stop-shop for excellent Bible study, and is easy to learn to use by following online tutorials.

I use blueletterbible.org in my daily quiet time, to prepare Bible study lessons or talks for speaking engagements, and to teach our church members how to study the Bible, too! There’s also an app version available, but many of our ladies have found the app to be a bit finicky. So, I tend to stick with the desktop version (which you can still access on your phone)!

Reasons why I love Blue Letter Bible Website for everyone who wants to know how to study the Bible:

It’s absolutely free
I have nearly everything I need for in-depth Bible study in ONE spot
I can quickly switch back and forth between the tabbed resources it contains (and open as many windows as I need for my cross-references, too!)

3. Bible Study Methods by Arabah Joy

Friend, has your Bible time felt sluggish lately? Do you ever read the Word and walk away wondering if you got anything from it?

We use this course at our church plant because we realize that not every Christian enjoys studying the Bible in the same way. Arabah Joy’s course covers more intellectual, in-depth Bible Study Methods like root word/keyword study, topical Bible study, etc. However, she also explains how to do less time-consuming methods of study, like verse-mapping (my new favorite) and even methods of study that involve more worship, like her TASTE method.

If you are a Christian woman who has struggled with the desire to study the Bible for yourself, I highly recommend this course. Why? Because when you know several different Bible study methods, you can vary the ones that you use, which keeps Bible study fresh!

I, myself, am a creature of habit who loves drawing deeper connections, so I thrive on word and topical studies. Through the Bible Study Methods course, I realized I often neglect the aspect of worship during my Bible study time, as well. I find it difficult to be still before the Lord. I needed that push to learn new ways of connecting to God’s Word.

Reasons why I love Bible Study Methods for both beginners AND experienced believers who want to know more about how to study the Bible:

7 different methods allow for variety
the teaching videos teach new methods step-by-step – helpful for beginners!
it contains Bible study worksheets that you can print out over and over again

4. The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus by John Cross

Surprisingly, many Christians have never studied the Bible chronologically. I’ll save the reasons why for another time, but if you’ve never studied the Bible chronologically, you should! I grew up in a Christian home with parents who valued God’s Word. They were faithful to take me to church and provide opportunities for discipleship. Nevertheless, I failed to fully understand certain foundational truths until I read this book.

I’ll never forget how my eyes were opened to God’s plan from the very beginning. I’m still amazed at the symbolism of the tabernacle and events surrounding Jesus’ crucifixion!

Friend, do you know the tri-fold significance of Jesus’ dying words, “It is finished”? If not, you should.

If I could only recommend ONE book in my lifetime (aside from the Bible itself), The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus by John Cross would be it. It teaches us how to study the Bible by giving us the firm foundation we need in order to comprehend the rest of Scripture!

I’ve walked through this book with a variety of women – from the unsaved to mature believers.

Each time, I gain a new insight. Each time the women make new connections they had never made before. I really don’t have enough space here to tell you how much I love this book for Christian discipleship, so just go get one for yourself! 😉

Reasons why I love The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus and wish every believer would read it:

using Scripture, it walks readers from creation to Christ, providing an overview of God’s story of love
it provides the necessary foundation for real spiritual growth and roots new believers in a firm understanding of gospel truths
it helps readers understand the importance of the Old Testament and how it connects to the New Testament

Honestly, I could go on and on about this particular resource. I wish I could give one to every person I meet!

In fact, as a follow-up to the Benefits of Bible Study series, I will be hosting my first ever online Bible study group using The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus. If you’d like more details, be sure to sign-up for updates in the form below. You can also learn more by following along on the BCOT facebook page. We are limiting this group to the first 25 women to sign up, so don’t miss out!

Friend, the Word of God is so essential to our Christian growth. I pray you’ll take time this week to grow in the knowledge of the Word!

Do you have a favorite resource for learning how to study the Bible? Feel free to share with us in the comments below!

Jen

Would you like to stay connected so you can learn more about our upcoming online Bible study? Simply fill out the form below to join our subscriber list. As a bonus, you’ll receive a link to our library of FREE Bible resources! More information on the Bible study will be coming in the next couple of weeks! (BONUS: you’ll also get access to our library of FREE Bible printables!)

6 More Benefits of Studying God’s Word

January 14, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

Most Christian women have heard of the importance of regular Bible study, yet many fail to see the Bible as the powerful weapon and tool it is described as in Scripture. Some are simply unaware of the many benefits of studying God’s Word!

I see it all too often in my own life, and in the lives of others – we tend to rely on our own wisdom and the wisdom or advice of others more so than we do God’s Word.

Isn’t that sad?

But I’m frequently guilty of problem-solving on my own, and I’m sure you are, too, friend, because that’s human nature.

I can’t tell you how many times women have sat across from me, often in tears, relating a personal problem or issue they’re struggling with. Yet when asked, they can’t tell me what the Bible says about their problem, or even if they can tell me what the Bible says, they admit doubting it’s truth.

And I can relate because I’ve had that same struggle between knowing what is true and believing what is true myself!

If we want to experience confident faith and abundant life, then we must be more than just “familiar” with the Bible. The more time we spend in the Word, the more opportunity we have to grow in Christ, the easier it becomes to trust not only God’s character, but His very Word!

The Bible is clear that scripture is living and active, friend (Hebrews 4:12), a powerful tool in the life of Christ-followers, so why do we so easily lay it aside?

6 More Benefits of Studying God’s Word

**If you missed the original Benefits of Bible Study posts, you can read about why you need to study God’s Word for yourself here and then read first 5 promising benefits of personal study here.

6. One of the most important benefits of studying God’s Word is that it gives us life (both spiritual AND physical)!

Scripture teaches that man doesn’t live by bread alone, but by the word of God (Mt. 4:4). Studying the Word doesn’t just give us spiritual life, but also physical life! The same idea is confirmed in other places in the Bible, as well:

Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name. John 20:30-31 (NIV)

For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 1 Peter 1:23 (NIV)

I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. Psalm 119:25 (NIV)

This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me. Psalm 119:50 (NASB)

7. Studying God’s Word also helps us to grow in faith and in Christ-likeness.

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation… 1 Peter 2:2 (NIV)

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. Romans 10:17 (NASB)

If faith comes from hearing the Word of God, then it follows that the more we hear it, the more likely our faith is to grow (obviously there are exceptions to this – it all depends on our heart condition and how receptive we are to the Word). When we are new in Christ, we are like spiritual babies who need spiritual milk to grow and flourish, but as we grow, we need solid food – deeper spiritual truths (as mentioned in Heb. 5:12-13).

Whether mature or immature, our spiritual growth relies on us taking in the nourishment we need consistently!

8. Another benefit of studying God’s Word is that as we mature, we can lead others in truth, too!

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 1 Peter 3:15-16 (NIV)

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV)

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

As Christ’s ambassadors here on this Earth, we have a responsibility to share the truth with others, but we must be careful to do so in a God-honoring way. We cannot correctly handle God’s Word or train others (including our own children) if we don’t rightly understand His Word for ourselves. This is one reason why personal Bible study is essential in the life of Christian women!

9. Studying the Word also helps us to fight spiritual battles and experience victory!

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:1-4 (NIV)

As Christian women, the Bible is clear that we will face both temptation to sin and accusations from the Enemy.

And don’t we know it, friend?

But the Word is equally clear that we have a weapon to use in our defense – God’s truth!

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:17 (NIV)

As part of our spiritual armor, we’ve been given a weapon – the sword of the Spirit – which is used not only to defend ourselves, but also to fight back!

Let’s follow the example of Christ. Let’s study the Word so that we know the best verses to use to combat the Enemy’s lies and accusations.

10. The Bible gives us peace and hope.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Phil. 4:8-9 (NIV)

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4 (NIV)

One additional benefit of studying God’s Word is that we experience hope and peace that are beyond worldly explanation.

Is your life full of chaos? Spend time in the Word.

Does all hope seem lost? Run to the Word.

You will find in the Bible a special comfort that you cannot find in this world, friend!

11. Finally, spending time studying God’s Word helps us produce spiritual fruit.

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. Ps. 1:2-3

What Christian woman doesn’t want to yield more spiritual fruit?

We can all use more patience, more joy, more peace, more kindness, right?

When we delight in God’s law (Old Testament reference to Scripture), when we study it by meditating on it and memorizing it, we bear fruit that we cannot possibly bear on our own.

We prosper! And in doing so, we bring much glory to the Father.

Friend, please don’t neglect the potential power of God’s Word in your life. It’s immeasurable and indescribable.

Time spent in the Bible is time well-spent. Just consider the many benefits we’ve discussed in the Benefits of Bible Study series!

Next week we’ll be wrapping up this series with some of my favorite tools for excellent Bible study – resources that will help you make the most of your time spent in the Word!

Until then, take a few minutes to meditate on God’s Word today, won’t you?

Jen 🙂

P.S. If you can’t wait until next week, one of my new favorite Bible study tools is below (my affiliate link) The Love the Word Bible Study Binder by Arabah Joy contains a whole year’s worth of Bible study helps – reading plans, journaling sheets, and the PROSPER Bible study method. I worked on the design for this binder, and it’s one of my favorite projects ever!! Knowing the both the quality AND quantity of material this product contains lets me recommend it with confidence. 🙂

Why You Need to Study God’s Word for Yourself

November 5, 2018 by jstults Leave a Comment

My fun-loving pastor (who also happens to be my husband) really enjoys teasing others to the point that I’m convinced teasing is actually his primary love language. One of his favorite jokes in church settings is to use the eleventh commandment to his advantage.

When speaking to a church member recently, he said something along the lines of, “You know the eleventh commandment says ‘Thou shalt volunteer five hours a week until the work on the church building is completed.’”

The usual response to one of his eleventh commandment statements is surprise, often followed by confusion.

Those who know his teasing ways well are quick to catch on while others question whether or not there is an eleventh commandment, but many just accept what he says as fact. He IS a pastor after all, so he must know what he’s talking about, right?

Of course, my husband is quick to point out his own teasing, but in our current world, not all would-be deceivers are benevolent. In fact, most are quite the opposite – most set out to deceive us in order to lead us away from God’s ways and toward our own destruction.

From the story above, you can see how blind acceptance of what another person claims to be true about God’s Word can be a real problem for God’s people. Confusion over God’s truth has been a problem since the very beginning when the serpent in the garden used a portion of God’s very words to deceive Adam and Eve.

When Christians are unfamiliar with what the Bible actually says, when they haven’t dedicated time to learning biblical truth for themselves instead of just believing what they’ve been told, they become easy targets, sitting ducks. If you fail to study God’s Word for yourself, you set yourself up for a failure of faith.

How can you recognize or contradict false teaching if you don’t first have a foundation of truth?

How can you overcome spiritual warfare and answer Satan’s lies with truth without knowing where in the Bible to find it?

How can you lead others to walk in truth, too?

3 Vital Reasons to Study God’s Word for Yourself

As Christian women, we must choose to prioritize the practice of real Bible study so that we have what we need to stand firm when doubts come knocking, when trials threaten to overwhelm us, when Satan tempts us, and when the world attempts to manipulate us.

1. Stand firm in your beliefs.

Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. Colossians 2:6-8 (NASB)

We want to be captivated by Christ and His truth, not taken captive by false teachers or worldly wisdom.

*This post contains affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thank you for supporting the ministry of this site!

We need to be more like the Bereans, who when they heard the gospel, examined Scripture daily to see if it was really true (Acts 17:11)! The only way to grow in your understanding of Christ and how to follow Him is to study God’s Word for yourself.

I’ll never forget the lesson I learned about this truth during my first biology class as a freshman at a Christian college. Since I spent much of my growing up years as a missionary kid, I lived a fairly sheltered life. So I was surprised to discover that my faith-professing biology professor at my Christian college believed in evolution. In fact, not only did he believe in evolution, he actively worked to convince us that real faith, strong faith was compatible with this belief, also.

He even insinuated that to believe otherwise was either to be ignorant or to have weak faith.

In the months that followed, I felt increasingly conflicted. I valued academics and knowledge, but I also valued my faith. I wondered if what I believed about God being the Creator of the Universe was really true or not.

It was a mini crisis of faith for me, and I was on my own. My parents were still serving overseas – literally halfway around the world.

At some point I realized that choosing what to believe was totally up to me now. I had to decide for myself what to believe about the beginnings of our world, and I could only do that by studying the Word. So that’s what I did. I studied the biblical account of Creation. I studied what critics said about a seven-day creation model, as well as what Christian scientists said about it.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I either believed God’s Word or I didn’t, and if I didn’t, well then my entire salvation was a lie because a virgin birth is just as “scientifically impossible” as Creation.

I came out of that crisis with a firmer belief than before because instead of relying on what my parents and other Christians claimed to be true, I had studied it out for myself. I’ve never questioned that particular doctrinal belief since then. Instead of being susceptible to the persuasive words of my professor, I could stand firm in my belief because it really was MY belief, not just teaching passed on to me by someone else.

2. Grow into a mature believer.

Here’s the truth, friends: we most certainly can and should learn from other Christians and leaders in the faith. In fact, that’s likely how believers who are young in the faith gain much of their knowledge initially. But at some point, we have to grow up in the faith and quit relying on others to tell us what God’s Word says.

For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil. Hebrews 5:12-14 (NASB)

At some point, we must choose to dig into the Scriptures and discover truth for ourselves, and we CAN do that with the help of the Holy Spirit! Don’t content yourself with mere milk, friends, when the banquet of the entire Bible is yours to feast on!

If you don’t study God’s Word for yourself, then your faith is only as strong as your trust in what others say. Living on second-hand knowledge is choosing stunted growth.

If you want to be a strong Christian women with confident faith, you must begin by studying the Bible.

3. Experience the abundant life He has planned for you.

For the next few weeks, we’ll be looking at the spiritual discipline of personal Bible study and the promising benefits that are ours for the taking!

The Benefits of Bible Study series will lead you to understand not only the importance of studying God’s Word but also the blessings of it, as well. What you may not realize is when you study God’s Word for yourself, you reap rewards beyond acquiring knowledge and understanding – bonus benefits, so to speak. Likewise, there are some not-so-pretty consequences for lacking an understanding of the Bible.

Failing to spend time in Scripture is like turning down a gift! Who does that, right? 😉

At the end of the series, I’ll be offering some practical tools and resources to help you learn how to make God’s Word a vital part of your everyday life – through Bible study and meditation, scripture memorization, and so forth. So plan to stick around, and invite your friends to join us, too!

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4 (NASB)

Let’s be women of the Word!

Jen 🙂

For the Wife Who’s Not in Love Anymore

February 1, 2018 by jstults 6 Comments

I’m just not in love anymore.

It’s a phrase we hear often enough, a phrase that’s no longer attached to any one generation in particular. In fact, wives who have been married for decades are just as likely to utter these words as those who’ve only been married a short time.

I’m not in love anymore.

I’m sure the words pain you as much as they pain me because I remember a time when the same thought reverberated through my heartstrings.

Yes, me, a pastor’s wife who once upon a time fell madly in love with an enthusiastic young youth minister, only to quickly learn that marriage wasn’t all happily-ever-after wedded bliss.

We struggled off and on for the better part of a decade before learning how to consistently enjoy being married to each other!

But I’m not in love anymore, and my husband isn’t in love with me either, what else can I possibly do?

Personally, I have some strong feelings about those words because I have learned that real love, true love is a choice, not a feeling – despite what our me-first culture would have us believe.

However, let’s set aside my personal feelings for now and dive right into what the Word of God has to say on the issue.

6 Essential Scriptures about Love:

1. According to scripture, our hearts are deceitful. We cannot trust the feeling of being not in love anymore.

Feelings come and go, sometimes without rhyme or reason, so we cannot trust our hearts to lead us in God’s ways. Instead, we must rely on what we know to be true, and we find such truth in His Word.

“The heart is deceitful above all thing and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

2. God’s Word reveals that loving each other isn’t an option, it’s a command!

Whether or not we feel like loving our spouses, God expects us to love them in our choices.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 (NIV)

3. According to the Bible, agape love is the kind of love that sacrifices self in favor of another.

Jesus gave us the greatest example of agape love at the cross.

We are to follow Jesus’ example in living out that kind of sacrificial love. Agape love might be as simple as making a meal for your spouse, or ironing his clothes, or as difficult as keeping silent even when a spouse is wrong.

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13 (NIV)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

So how do we know what God expects from us in living out agape love? After all, no one wants to be a doormat!

We must abide in Him and be sensitive to the Spirit, who will guide us when conflicts arise.

The next time the Spirit nudges you to do that kind thing for a loved one, pay attention and choose to obey even if you don’t feel like it!

4. The infamous love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) reminds us that God has high standards for what real love looks like.

According to these verses, we can be obedient in so many other areas, but without love, all of those good works are meaningless!

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (NIV)

5. God’s Word claims that if we don’t love others, then we don’t really know God – ouch!

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (NIV)

6. **We are capable of loving others** (even when we don’t feel like it) because Christ loved us first!

Sometimes we’re tempted to doubt this truth. We wrongly believe that we cannot love our spouses, when in fact, we have all power to do just that in Christ!

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 (NIV)

Even when the loving feelings just aren’t there, we can choose to act on the very real love that flows from Jesus.

We choose love out of gratefulness for what Christ has done for us.

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After all, I’m not perfect, and neither are you, yet Christ loved us at our very worst when we were unlovable, unworthy, enslaved to sin. We can and should demonstrate that same Christ-like love toward our spouses, even when they’re wrong, even when they are at their worst.

Friends, I know biblical love is not an easy standard to live up to. I fail so often in my own life!

I know the frustration of living in a broken marriage. I know the despair of feeling like things will never change.

I know the sorrow of feeling I’m not in love anymore.

But I also know the joy of seeing the Father change my own heart, as well as my husband’s heart. I know the joy of renewed hope.

I even know the joy of rekindled feelings when we got to the sweet spot of marriage, the “for better” that waited for us on the other side of the “for worse.”

So you’re not in love anymore – that may be true.

Your feelings may have changed, but God’s Word is clear: love is a command, a choice, and the power to love comes not from our feelings but from Christ alone.

Let me encourage to choose love today, and when you do, may you reap the rewards that are promised!

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 (NIV)

Above all, don’t give up hope that your marriage can change. Let that change begin with you.

As my gift to you to encourage you along those lines, I’m offering the lovely printable below to all subscribers! Just fill in your information and look for your confirmation email (be sure to check the spam folder if you don’t see it right away).

Please remember that you are not alone, my friend. Fellow warrior wives have lived in these same trenches and have won the battle for healthy marriage by God’s design. And the Lord your God is with you in all things!

Jen 🙂

For further reading: I Didn’t Want My Husband Anymore

Why Reading Isn’t Enough ~ Study the Bible

March 22, 2017 by jstults 41 Comments

As work-in-progress Christians, we have several tools at our disposal to help us grow closer to God and bear more fruit.

The one tool we often fail to use to its full potential is the Bible!

Some of you may be thinking that you use your Bibles daily or even weekly, so why would I say the Bible is under-utilized?

I say the Bible is under-utilized because I’ve experienced that in my own life as a young Christian.

At the age of fourteen, I moved with my family to a third-world country so that my parents could do missionary work. As you can imagine, it wasn’t an easy move for a teenager, especially considering that I lived away from my parents during the school year.

At that age, I often read the Bible because I knew I was supposed to, but I didn’t feel like I was getting much out of it.

Bible reading simply became an item to check off on my to-do list.

However, after the move overseas, though, I really struggled with being separated from my parents and adjusting to a new life in a foreign country. I felt alone and uncertain. In my teenage awkwardness, I lacked confidence in myself and in my faith.

I wrestled with some deep, unanswered questions – like why? Why was God allowing this hardship in my life?

I began to turn to my Bible for comfort and understanding rather than just as a daily chore. My mom would send me verses that spoke to my circumstances, and I would read them over and over again.

Instead of just reading the Word and then walking away from it, I began to actually study the Bible.

I began to read with questions, meditate on verses that stuck out to me, write notes and look up cross-references. The more time I spent studying, the more I realized the very real power of God’s Word to transform me, to comfort me, to give me wisdom for real life!

During that time of hardship, my faith became real to me because instead of simply believing what others had told me about God and His Word, I discovered those truths for myself.

My new appreciation for God’s Word led to a period of tremendous spiritual growth that formed the foundation of the faith I have today.

When I look back over my life, I see how the times I felt most connected to the Lord were also times when I really dug into His Word.

Likewise, the seasons when I struggled the most in my faith were often marked by a reluctance to study the Bible or perhaps even a busyness that kept me preoccupied with little time to really dig in.

Consider these verses from Psalm 119:9-11

How can a young man keep his way pure?
By keeping it according to Your word.
With all my heart I have sought You;
Do not let me wander from Your commandments.
Your word I have treasured in my heart,
That I may not sin against You. (NIV)

When you study the Bible, you don’t just gain knowledge about God’s characters or how to make wise choices. According to this Psalm, studying the Bible actually helps to keep us from sin!

I have to admit, taking time to study the Bible is still a work-in-progress in me – an area that can use constant improvement.

I wonder if you might be able to relate, friend?

Maybe you’re a work-in-progress woman who isn’t getting much from the Bible lately. Maybe you find it hard to understand or just wish that you knew the Bible better. I’ve been there, too!

Or maybe you’re really struggling in your faith right now, feeling distant from the Lord, and you’re not even trying to study the Bible? I’ve been there, too.

What I can tell you is that the more you invest your time and energy into studying the Word rather than just reading it out of a sense of duty, the more you’ll experience the abundant Christian life that God has planned for you.

Matthew 4:4 claims that the Word of God gives life itself – it sustains us!

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

That sounds like a good reason to study the Bible!

5 Tips for Learning to Study the Bible

So here’s my best advice on how to really study the Bible – treat it like you would any other text that you are going to be studying.

Get serious about it!

1. 1. Pray first and ask the Lord to teach you His truth through the Holy Spirit.
  2. Grab a notebook and highlighters. Don’t be afraid to write in your Bible, either. Underline, circle, and dissect Scripture in a way that helps you understand.
  3. Grab other tools or apps that can help you understand what you are reading – many can be accessed online (concordances, study guides, Bible dictionaries, blueletterbible.org, etc.).
  4. Don’t just read a verse and walk away! Ask questions about that verse (the 5 w’s are a good start – who, what, when, where, why). These questions help you understand the context.
  5. Find a Bible study method that really works for YOU! (Psst – for beginners, verse mapping is a great place to start, and for more experienced, I love a good Word study!) You can see my recommended resources for excellent Bible study here.

Number 5 is key!

My favorite thing to recommend to women who want MORE out of Bible study is to learn HOW to study the Bible for themselves! And one key to doing just that is finding a way that works for you.

This post contains affiliate links. Jen is a participant in affiliate programs for trusted products. Thank you for helping to support the ministry of this blog!

My friend, Arabah Joy, has created this spectacular course to help people around the world learn to study God’s Word for themselves – it’s called Bible Study Methods: 7 Ways in 7 Days. (Disclosure – this is my affiliate link. Should you choose to purchase through this link, I will receive a commission. Thanks for helping to support the ministry of Being Confident of This!)

This practical, self-paced course comes with a printable workbook and teaching videos to show you exactly how to use the various methods being taught so that those of us who are visual learners or who need a little hand-holding can actually see how the methods work!

You can expect this course to:

1. - teach you 7 different Bible study methods
  - give you tools for going deep into God’s word in as little as ten minutes a day (perfect for busy moms!)
  - provide ready-made templates and printables you can choose from
  - show you exactly how to do each method with the daily videos
  - help you establish a Bible study habit!

I’m happy to recommend this course because I’ve used it myself, and I’ve taught it to other women, as well. In addition, I know Arabah Joy has spent years refining these methods as a missionary overseas and now a writer at arabahjoy.com. Since I’ve known her for several years, I also know her motives are genuine – to help children of God grow in their faith so that they can live out their God-given purpose in this world!

Friend, whether you decide to purchase this course or not, I pray you will seek to study the Word for yourself. I firmly believe that if more Christians better utilized the living Word of God, we would all have the confidence we need to live out the plans God has for us.

Bottom line: don’t just read your Bible, really dig into it.

Study the Bible for yourself!

All because of Christ,

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Salt and Light

4 Ways Self-Confidence Misleads Christian Women

First, self-confidence misleads Christian women by focusing on self.

Second, self-confidence misleads Christian women because it doesn’t last!

Third, self-confidence misleads Christian women by being easily faked.

Fourth, self-confidence misleads Christian women by enslaving us.

What does the Bible teach about growing in authentic confidence?

6 Practical Ways to Take Your Thoughts Captive

1.Truth Journaling to take your thoughts captive.

2. Scripture Memorization & Meditation to take your thoughts captive.

3. Sensory Input for taking your thoughts captive.

4. Confessing your sins to take your thoughts captive.

5. The Power of Prayer for taking your thoughts captive.

6. Physical activity to take your thoughts captive.

The Dangers of Greener Grass

A Biblical Perspective on Boundaries

One rule; one choice.

The Truth about Greener Grass

God’s Boundaries Protect Us

The fact that our emotions don’t always reflect reality is scientific.

Your feelings lie to you – that fact isn’t just scientific, it’s also biblical!

5 Christian Responses to Difficult Feelings and Emotions

Scripture encourages us to guard our hearts.

2. When struggling with your feelings, ask God to search your heart and reveal the truth to you.

3. Be aware of the Accuser and His power play for your feelings!

4. Rather than trusting in your own heart, emotions, and understanding, place your ultimate trust safely in God’s hands.

5. Let God’s truth boss your feelings around!

5 Reasons to Study the Bible Chronologically

Study the Bible chronologically to build a firm foundation.

2. Study the Bible chronologically to follow God’s timeline.

3. Study the Bible chronologically to grasp key Gospel concepts.

4. Study the Bible chronologically to understand the Big Picture.

5. Study the Bible chronologically to follow the example of Jesus.

We don’t have time to waste.

How to Study the Bible: 4 Exceptional Resources

The FOCUSed15 Series from Katie Orr

Reasons why I think the FOCUS15 series is the perfect starting place for any woman who wants to learn how to study the Bible:

2. Blue Letter Bible Website

Reasons why I love Blue Letter Bible Website for everyone who wants to know how to study the Bible:

3. Bible Study Methods by Arabah Joy

Reasons why I love Bible Study Methods for both beginners AND experienced believers who want to know more about how to study the Bible:

4. The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus by John Cross

Reasons why I love The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus and wish every believer would read it:

6 More Benefits of Studying God’s Word

6. One of the most important benefits of studying God’s Word is that it gives us life (both spiritual AND physical)!

7. Studying God’s Word also helps us to grow in faith and in Christ-likeness.

8. Another benefit of studying God’s Word is that as we mature, we can lead others in truth, too!

9. Studying the Word also helps us to fight spiritual battles and experience victory!

10. The Bible gives us peace and hope.

11. Finally, spending time studying God’s Word helps us produce spiritual fruit.

3 Vital Reasons to Study God’s Word for Yourself

1. Stand firm in your beliefs.

2. Grow into a mature believer.

3. Experience the abundant life He has planned for you.

6 Essential Scriptures about Love:

1. According to scripture, our hearts are deceitful. We cannot trust the feeling of being not in love anymore.

2. God’s Word reveals that loving each other isn’t an option, it’s a command!

3. According to the Bible, agape love is the kind of love that sacrifices self in favor of another.

4. The infamous love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) reminds us that God has high standards for what real love looks like.

5. God’s Word claims that if we don’t love others, then we don’t really know God – ouch!

6. We are capable of loving others (even when we don’t feel like it) because Christ loved us first!

Bible reading simply became an item to check off on my to-do list.

5 Tips for Learning to Study the Bible

*This post contains affiliate links.* Jen is a participant in affiliate programs for trusted products. Thank you for helping to support the ministry of this blog!

6. **We are capable of loving others** (even when we don’t feel like it) because Christ loved us first!

This post contains affiliate links. Jen is a participant in affiliate programs for trusted products. Thank you for helping to support the ministry of this blog!