failure Archives | Being Confident Of This

What You Need to Know about Your Work-in-Progress Status

October 7, 2016 by jstults 5 Comments

It’s Friday and you’ve survived another week, maybe even another month. Sometimes you wonder how much longer you can keep at it, how much longer you can grind your way through the hard work we call life.

And some days, the hard work defeats us, owns us, and we become less than – less of a wife, less of a mother, less of a daughter of the King, less than we truly desire to be.

We’re tempted then to blame the weariness, the dead weight we’ve been dragging for so long, on our hectic lives.

I’m just too busy.

The phrase slips into my mind so easily, yet I know it’s only a half-truth. Yes, I’ve been busy, but not just with the family schedule. My mind has been busy, too – busy with worries, thoughts, plans, dreams, and even dissatisfaction.

We’re weary women, you and me, and we long for some space to smooth down our frayed edges and quiet our souls, yet we’ve somehow lost the way.

If I’m honest, I have to admit that my biggest problem isn’t my hectic schedule, though. No – the biggest problem is that when my schedule is crazy, my perfectionism and need to control kicks into overdrive. I’m tempted to think if I just work harder and longer, then I can keep myself afloat.

If I just do everything right….

Unfortunately, I’m not perfect and neither are you. No matter how hard we try, we’re bound to fail at something along the way.

And fail, I have.

I’ve been a grumpy mama and a distracted wife. I’ve offended others in my haste and frustration. I’ve neglected to connect to the only Power Source who can really keep me going in the tough times. I’ve been trying way too hard to do something I cannot possibly do on my own, and boy, is it painful!

Why do we do this to ourselves, my sisters in Christ? Why do we expect the impossible rather than resting in what we already know to be true?

~I’m sharing three of my favorite truths to fight against the pull perfectionism over at my friend Kaylene’s blog today. It would make my day if you’d hop on over there to find out what you really need to know about your work-in-progress status (and how to get a freebie)!

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

5 Methods for Setting Goals Rooted in Faith

December 31, 2015 by jstults 7 Comments

Perhaps you found your way here after evaluating last year’s successes and failures. Perhaps setting goals is new to you, and you’d like a little help. Or perhaps, like me, you hesitate to set real goals in the first place because you’re desperate to avoid any kind of failure.

If you consistently make and break New Year’s resolutions, or if you often find your enthusiasm waning halfway through the year, then these methods for setting goals will help!

5 Methods for Setting Goals

1. Before you make an attempt at setting goals, spend time in prayer.

First, if you have an area of your life that needs improvement, God is probably already nudging you. The best goals are those the Father wills for us, and to remain aligned with His will requires a little soul-searching and time spent praying. If you already have some ideas about goals you should set, ask Him for confirmation!

Second, after you finish setting goals, continue to pray over your God-dependent efforts.

For example, when working on getting healthier last year, I often asked the Lord for strong lungs and strong knees so that I could continue working out. I asked Him to give me the desire to eat right and the desire to exercise. I even asked Him for strength to continue in the middle of some of those workouts.

When I quit praying for those things for a time, I struggled and wasted several months going nowhere.

2. Support your goals with scripture memorization.

Often the Holy Spirit reminds me of verses I have memorized at key moments, such as when I’m tempted, struggling to trust, or avoiding obedience. He even brings to mind verses to encourage me in my efforts.

The more we memorize, the more weapons in our arsenal!

When working on a goal pertaining to a weakness in your life or a desire to achieve something new, find and memorize a few key verses to motivate and encourage you.

And on the heels of scripture memorization…

3. Expect and prepare for opposition.

I’ve mentioned before that as soon as we aim to make positive changes in our lives, Satan is sure to try us. When we finish setting goals, we instantly become walking targets! Doubt easily sets in when we fail to prepare for spiritual warfare.

Even friends or family may unintentionally discourage us because they fail to understand our goals, or perhaps they just don’t agree with them! Either way, if we expect and prepare for rough seas at first, we won’t be easily deterred when storms blow our way.

4. Start with small steps.

Change isn’t easy, especially if you are trying to undo a life-long habit! Even if you’re simply adding a new habit, real change takes weeks – some experts advise 30-40 days or longer.

Don’t be ashamed of your baby steps!

Use the small start to build to bigger changes.

Starting small after setting goals allows you to focus on one thing at a time so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. For example, if your goal is to eat healthier, start by exchanging an unhealthy afternoon snack for a serving of vegetables. Once you’ve mastered that step you can move on to a bigger step.

The verse below comes from the days of rebuilding the temple in Jerusalem. God’s faithful were few in number and faced discouragement at every turn. Theses were His words:

^“Also the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this house, and his hands will finish it. Then you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent me to you. For who has despised the day of small things?” (Zech. 4:8-10a, NASB, emphasis mine)

Don’t despise the day of small things. Instead, celebrate every small victory!

5. Break loose from perfectionism by embracing grace.

I’ve written before about disliking the process of setting goals (and being afraid to get too specific) because I’m afraid to fail. I hate failing! As a perfectionist, I must recognize how this all or nothing mindset limits me.

The only way to break loose from perfectionism’s chains is to view myself as a work-in-progress woman.

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6, NASB)

Rather than avoiding the process of setting goals altogether, I purpose to show myself grace!

I know some current goals are going to be long hauls, especially this weight loss journey. Whereas a setback might have caused me to give up for good previously, with grace in mind I can see the work in progress rather than individual or isolated failures.

* This post makes use of affiliate links. Jen is an affiliate for Grace Goals and will receive compensation for any purchase made through the affiliate links on this blog at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting the ministry of Being Confident of This!

My favorite tool for grace-filled goal-setting:

Do you really want lasting, godly change?

If so, I highly recommend Grace Goals, a new scripture-based goal-setting workshop developed by my friend Arabah Joy (this is my affiliate link).

Grace Goals contains 5 Workshops to help you identify your greatest desires and develop a plan for pursuing them. Grace Goals also targets the tools you need to succeed and (the most important part, in my opinion) helps you understand how faith plays the greatest role in achieving real change!

Here’s what Grace Goals 2019 includes:

year end review sheets
spiritual growth inventory sheets
practical goal planner pages that will help you break your goal into smaller, less intimidating steps
printable pages to help organize your thought
The Grace Goals Workshops workbook – my FAVORITE part and what sets this apart from other goal-setting planners (think Bible study combined with practical tips)

Why Grace Goals?

Because as a pastor’s wife and woman of faith, I appreciate the fact that Arabah Joy takes a biblical approach to goal-setting rather than a worldly approach. In fact, in the very first workshop, Arabah Joy recognizes that no goal is worth pursuing if it hasn’t come from God.

If you’re looking for validation for goals and dreams you have already decided for yourself, then this probably isn’t for you.

On the other hand, if you genuinely want to know what the Lord wants you to focus on and the dreams and desires that come from Him (as scary as that can be sometimes), then you will find Grace Goals very helpful!

In fact, the first time I started Grace Goals, I quit.

It challenged me in unexpected ways, so I tucked tail and ran away scared.

But after falling under conviction, I picked Grace Goals back up, and I’m so thankful. Last year I used Grace Goals and the planning sheets to write and teach a Bible study on discipleship for some of the women in our church, several of whom are now discipling others. To God be the glory!

I used Grace Goals again earlier this year to pray over, plan out, and publish a new devotional I believed God had laid on my heart, Being Confident of This.

As challenging as it may be, I look forward to discovering what God has next for the coming year! 🙂

LIMITED TIME OFFER

This year Arabah Joy is offering 2 of her own bonuses – a spiritual growth plan workshop, as well as a spiritual disciplines and growth binder!

These are limited offers, so be sure to check and see when they expire.

In addition, anyone who purchases through my affiliate links is eligible for a limited time BONUS from me, too – a Work-in-Progress Toolkit. It’s perfect for those of us who struggle with perfectionism, and is designed to be a companion to Grace Goals – to encourage you along the way by addressing obstacles I’ve encountered when attempting to set godly goals.

I know from experience that setting goals can easily be seen as a set-up for failure, so I want to help you learn how having a work-in-progress mindset creates a set-up for success instead!

The Work-in-Progress Toolkit Includes:

a beautiful truth-journaling worksheet that can be printed as many times as you want
high quality 8×10 scripture prints for you to hang around your home
a weekly encouraging email that will help you focus on overcoming those fears and insecurities related to goal-setting

No need to fear the goal-setting process with this grace-filled encouragement in place to help you focus on truth.

To claim your BONUS from me, simply email me your receipt from this year by January 7th and you’ll start receiving your bonuses each week for a month! 🙂

I hope you take advantage of this special offer, friends, because the content here is extraordinary!

Wishing you a fruitful New Year!

Jen 🙂

Fighting Weight Loss Failure

February 19, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 7 Comments

So, lately I’ve put myself out there in some big ways here at Being Confident of This in spite of my weight loss failures. I’ve told you why I hate speaking my goals aloud, why it frightens me.

Claiming that I’m working on losing weight, self-control, healthy living, is scary because it also makes me accountable to all who hear those words. It makes me accountable to myself and to my Lord, too.

And the Lord must be doing some sort of work in this area of health because He just won’t let it rest. 🙂

Last week, I wrote about the 5th cookie – how we can be like disobedient children who want our things our way. As I walked away from that post, and headed into Valentine’s weekend, I was pumped.

I was ready!

Somewhere along the line, I decided that since it was Valentine’s Day, I would allow myself to cheat a little.

It began with just a few pieces of candy that our children shared with me and extended right on into the evening with fried food. In fact, that sin snowballed right through the weekend and into Monday!

The problem wasn’t just that I failed to reach my healthy eating goals.

The real problem with cheating on my plan is that I didn’t even ask the Lord if it was okay. I shut Him out.

I hadn’t really thought about this before until one of my readers pointed out that when she wants something, she takes it without asking, even if she knows punishment (such as gained weight) will follow, because it’s worth it at the time.

I think all too often, I like to live in denial of the punishment coming my way, not because I think God is going to be angry with me, but because natural consequences follow my unhealthy choices, my weight-loss failures!

Truly, the worst part of falling off the healthy wagon this weekend wasn’t the over-full, bloated body but that I felt like such a hypocrite. Boy, did the Enemy seize on that feeling, too! I knew I was wrong. I knew I had failed, disobeyed. I knew I was a weight loss failure.

He knew it, too, that father of lies.

Didn’t you just write about making healthy choices and respecting the boundaries God gives you? Didn’t you just tell your readers that those boundaries are for your benefit? You’re such a hypocrite! You’ll never get a grip on this area. Success will always elude you when it comes to food… You’re doomed to life as a big girl…You might as well just give up now!

Whenever I start listening to the Enemy’s lies, I want to hide away like Eve in the Garden. Instead of running to the Father to confess my sin, I often try to deny it. I pretend it doesn’t exist. I blame others. I act like it’s not a big deal – just a “little” sin.

I justify.

But somewhere deep inside, I know the truth of my own choices.

I know, too, that my Father is gentle and patient and loving. I know He forgives sin and removes it from me as far as the East is from the West. I know He’s waiting….just waiting.

I don’t avoid Him because of His character but because of the wound to my own pride.

I consistently fail on my own.

I need Him.

With each comment here and on facebook, with each share notification, I’m reminded of His lesson. He’s been calling me, using my own words to beckon me to His side.

He’s relentless. He pursues without tiring. He does all of this because He loves me.

He loves me.

He loves you, too, friend, even those of you wallowing in failure as I have been the past couple of days. He loves those of you who feel you have no hope left. He loves those of you who struggle with doubts about His very goodness.

You see, the Enemy’s initial accusations were true – I was a hypocrite by choice, but the rest of what followed was all lies.

I know that with the Father’s help, I can overcome, even in the area of healthy eating. I can say no to food. I can say yes to exercise. I can learn to trust the Father’s boundaries, even after a failure, especially after a failure! I can trust His work-in-progress in me. 🙂

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

That promise always rings true. He is faithful, my sisters in Christ. Whatever boundary you’ve been struggling with, He is faithful. He is faithful to me, and He is faithful to you!

Don’t wait any longer.

Confess.

Cry out to Jesus.

Let Him pick you up from this place.

Let Him be the author of your come-back.

When you do, the weight of sin will be lifted; the Accuser will be silenced.

And you…you will be white as snow.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Grace and Truth, Faith Filled Friday, Fellowship Friday, Wholehearted Wednesdays, A Little R and R

A New Perspective on Setbacks

January 29, 2015 by stultsmamaof4 13 Comments

Yesterday, as I drove home from a good workout, I was feeling so thankful for some progress in regaining strength after my recent extended illness. I was also proud of myself for exercising every day of the week so far. I felt joy and hope like I haven’t felt for weeks!

Victory was mine!

Just as I reached our back door, I slipped on some ice, fell forward, and banged my knees hard on the cement step. Fear gripped my heart as I relived the tail-bone-breaking incident of what we now call Buttkill Falls.

I feared a major setback.

Eyes watering, I picked myself up and took a few tentative steps. My right knee hurt the worst, but I could still walk. It was scraped and already bruising. As I limped into the house, the internal monologue began…

Just like Adam and Eve, the original sinners, I wanted someone to blame, and my husband was the first victim.

I can’t believe he didn’t clear off this walk all the way! Doesn’t he know that’s not safe?! What if one of the kids fell….

But I didn’t stop there. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, free from the wrath of Egypt yet still not content, I began to question the Lord Himself.

Why, Lord? Are you really going to allow me to be injured again just when I’ve found a good rhythm with my health goals? Why am I being punished for doing what is right? I’ve worked so hard. Why didn’t you help me, keep me from falling?

Exodus 17:2-3

So they quarreled with Moses and said, “Give us water to drink.”

Moses replied, “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you put the Lord to the test?”

But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?” (empahsis mine)

As soon as the prideful thoughts entered my mind, I knew I was wrong – wrong to blame my husband, even more so, wrong to blame my Father God. And wrong to think that my “good efforts” excused me from any sort of pain or suffering.

You see, fear took over for a few moments.

I was afraid that another injury would keep me from meeting my health goals. I was afraid that another setback might discourage me to the point of giving up – a pattern that has repeated itself over and over again where my health is concerned.

I was afraid of failing.

I was afraid I would not be able to persevere!

Conviction stung my heart for such sinful thoughts, for my desire to lash out at someone else in my frustration. “I just want God to help me,” I tried to reason within myself.

But perhaps He already had…

Maybe His best help was to allow me to fall.

Yes, I mean it, truly. While it’s not wrong to be excited about the my progress, the Father gently showed me that, once again, I was beginning to rely on self alone rather than Him.

Perhaps I needed that fall to remind me that I will only conquer this battle with health and weight by His power and strength. I cannot do it on my own. Without even realizing it, I had slowly slipped back into my “can-do” attitude.

I can do it.

I’ve got this.

I don’t need You right now…

Does it sound familiar, friends? How many times a day do we catch ourselves relying on our own efforts instead of Him?

How many times do we deny the power of Christ in us, in favor of our own human strength?

How often do we place our trust in self alone?

You think I would have learned the lesson by now. He’s only been trying to teach me for the last thirty-plus years! It’s that work-in-progress that I’m always talking about – aiming toward progress instead of perfection.

I’ll make mistakes.

You’ll make mistakes, too, friends.

Sometimes the setback is a wake-up call to our own sin.

And often the best help our Father God can offer is letting us fall, just as we have to allow our own children to fall at times. It’s the most difficult, yet most loving thing we can do as parents, yes?

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

He lets us fall so that we might see our need, so that we might throw off self and run to His arms instead!

He lets us fall because He loves us too much not to.

It’s the best help He can give –

helping us turn from self to Savior!

Jen 🙂

Side note: My knees seem to be okay, Praise the Lord! One is a little swollen and bruised, but so far only injured externally, from what I can tell. I’m incredibly thankful for His mercy.

Sharing with: Grace and Truth