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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

5 Tips for Being a Confident Warrior Wife

April 5, 2019 by jstults Leave a Comment

I clearly remember sitting in front of our new marriage counselor, my face burning with both embarrassment and anger. Within the first few minutes of meeting, it became clear to me that he had already assumed that I wasn’t walking with the Lord. In truth, I was a confident warrior wife, determined not to give up!

If only he knew the time I spent searching the Word for comfort and wisdom. If only he knew the time I spent confessing my own sin and inviting the Lord to search my heart, the time I spent in prayer for both myself and my husband, begging the Lord to intervene.

If only he knew… perhaps he would have been more gentle and less presumptive.

Goodness knows those hinted at accusations were true of me in the past, but praise the Lord, I had changed as a wife.

Nevertheless, I began to question myself. His suggestions played right into my perfectionism as I wondered – maybe I haven’t prayed enough? Maybe my faith isn’t strong enough? Maybe I’m really not a good enough wife and that’s why our marriage is struggling?

These are questions many Christian wives struggle with!

How can a Christian wife know she is doing her best? How can she be a confident warrior wife who perseveres, one who fights for her marriage?

Fighting for a healthy marriage may feel like an impossible task, friend, and it is if we try to fight in our own strength. But let’s not forget that we who are in Christ belong to the God of the impossible.

Lately I’ve been reading through the Chronicles, and I’m impressed with the number of times God helped his people overcome enemies, even when outnumbered! Often, God’s people didn’t even have to go into battle because the Lord went before them and destroyed their enemies in miraculous ways.

A confident warrior wife is one who remembers her strength doesn’t come from herself, but from her Almighty God!

A confident warrior wife exercises her faith daily – not perfectly, but persistently. She prepares for battle in very specific ways.

Follow me over to my friend and co-author Rebekah Hallberg’s site for 5 Tips on How to Be a Confident Warrior Wife.

I’m also sharing some encouragement for times when God doesn’t intervene and a marriage fails.

How can you do your best to fight for a healhty marriage? 5 tips for being a confident warrior wife #marriagetips #warriorwife #christianwife #confidentwoman how to be a warrior wife | confident wife | hope for difficult marriage | marriage fails divorce | how to aoid divorce | better wife | better marriage | marriage God's way | save your marriage | how to love | feeling unloved | Being Confident of This Jen Stults | Hope for the Hurting Wife

 

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: Christian Marriage, difficult marriage, hope for marriage, Marriage, warrior wife, work in progress

The Secret to Being a Warrior Wife

April 28, 2016 by jstults 14 Comments

He shuffled into the living room, shoulders slumped, and with a great sigh lowered himself to the couch.  His clothes bore the marks of a man who worked hard for a living.

He could barely meet my gaze, as if he were somehow lacking or not enough.  I knew he needed my compassion and encouragement, but instead of sympathy, I felt only frustration.

After all, I thought, I’m working hard in this season, too. I’m weary, too. What do I have left to offer? It feels like too much, and I have nothing left to give.

Besides, he’s a grown man. I’m busy caring for children and our home all day long, on top of the demands of work and ministry roles that I am responsible for. If I can keep myself going, why can’t he keep himself going?

And just like that I missed the opportunity to be a warrior wife.

Have you ever been so caught up in the busyness and stress of life that you forget who you are or who you were created to be, friend?

Especially as a writer and pastor’s wife, I struggle with balancing my family and home life with the demands of ministry life. Without realizing it, I begin to neglect important relationships because I’m “just so busy.”

I become task-oriented rather than people-oriented, a slave to the to-do list rather than a Spirit-led woman.

And it’s downright frustrating how quickly and easily I slip into this mode of doing rather than being!

We get so caught up in busy schedules and who we think we are supposed to be that we forget our primary purpose. Don't make the mistake of leaving your husband without the helper he really needs. Being a warrior wife is not just a role... The Secret to being a Warrior Wife

At a recent women’s conference, I received a wake-up call from the Lord. One speaker in particular, Dana James, reminded us of who we are created to be as daughters of the one true King in relation to our husbands.

My friend Dana shared with us that God designed us to be “helpers” from the very beginning.

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ ” Gen. 2:18

Yes, I know we’ve all heard this verse before. Our job is to help, right? That’s our God-given “role,” right?

Wrong!

Dana drew our attention to the original language, which uses the Hebrew word ezer (pronounced ay-zer).  The word ezer is used 21 times in the Old Testament, but the majority of those uses are in reference to God himself, His character.  In such cases, the word ezer is used in connection with words like shield, sword, deliverer, mighty, and hope.

 Thus, ezer refers to the warrior aspect of God’s character – the One who fights on our behalf, our Shield and Defender, our Rescue.

As I looked further into the meanings attached to this word and its definitions, I found connotations of assistance or aid, especially in times of suffering or distress.  It means relief given to someone in need, removing or reducing something that is painful, unpleasant, or even oppressive!

And this very same word ezer is used to describe a helper suitable for Adam.

Do you see what this means for us, my sisters in Christ?

 

Hope for the Hurting Wife - a 30-day devotional to encourage your marriage. Sign up now to grab your free sample chapters! Christian women|marriage help|hope for marriage|free marriage resources|free sample|marriage book|marriage problems|marriage encouragement

When the Lord God chose to create woman, He instilled in her very character the properties of this ezer. He created us to be warrior women, warrior wives, who will bravely fight spiritual battles on behalf of our husbands, who will provide aid and relief to the men in our lives who are worn down and discouraged by the demands of this earthly life.

Here’s the rub: I think we all know this intuitively and most of us truly desire to live this out.

But sometimes it feels like a whole lot of work that we have no strength to do, doesn’t it?

So when I saw my hard-working husband down and out on a day when I was already in that weighed-down place myself, I chose to look the other way. I chose to put my needs first.

I left him without his ezer, his helper.

It was a selfish choice that I’m ashamed to say I make often when I’m already stressed.  And I wonder, why do I make this choice?  What is it that feels so hard about being a warrior wife? What secret am I missing?

The secret to being a warrior wife lies in our perspective.

“It’s who we are, not a role we play!” ~ Dana James

When I see being a warrior wife as a job I need to do, it’s easy for me to let it slide on the days when I’m worn out or discouraged. It’s easy for me to call it “too hard.”  But when I see being a warrior wife as part of my very identity, as a reflection of God’s character that comes not from trying harder, but from yielding to the Spirit, then I’m left with no excuses.

It is who I am called to be in Christ, and it’s who you are called to be in Christ, too, friend. Don’t leave your husband without the helper he really needs.

You were created for this and in Christ, you are equipped for this.

Let’s be warrior wives who fight the right kind of battles, not against our husbands, but for them.

Let’s do battle on our knees and in our war rooms against the real enemy.

Let’s choose to aid rather than to ignore.

Be an ezer. Fight!

Jen 🙂

~ This devotional is an excerpt from the book, Hope for the Hurting Wife by Rebekah Hallberg and Jen Stults.

*This post contains affiliate links. For more information on Being Confident of This’s affiliate policy, please visit the home page here. Thank you for helping to support this site!

 

Marriage is worth fighting for! Don't fall for the lies of the world and the Enemy that it's easier to just give up. Use this marriage devotional to turn to God and invite Him to be the solution to your marriage problems. Be a Warrior Wife! #marriage #book #devotional #encouragement

 

Inspiration for this devotional came from Dana James’s talk “Being a Very Strong Helper” at Tranfsormed 2016 (Central Conference) and was used with permission from Dana.  If you’d like to connect more with Dana, she writes at The Prime Rib, a website for minister’s wives in Tennessee.

For a practical take on how to encourage a discouraged husband (and how NOT to), try this one from Club 31 Women.

Recommended resources for being a warrior wife:

 


Sharing with: Grace and Truth

This one word changed the way I viewed my role as a Christian wife! How to be the helper your husband needs in your marriage. #marriageadvice #Christianmarriage #godlywife Being Confident of This | helping your husband | how to be a good wife | marriage help | encouragement | marriage tips | Christian marriage | Hope for the Hurting wife | avoid divorce | marriage God's way

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: Christian living, Christian Marriage, Christian Women, helper, Husband, warrior wife

Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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