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Being Confident Of This

Grace for the work-in-progress woman

One Unexpected Benefit of a Spiritual Fall

June 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 20 Comments

Oh how I wanted to skip this Five Minute Friday because I knew immediately what I needed to write about.  And it’s oh-so-personal and painful.  Like any painful thing, though, there can be beauty in the ending.  So, I pray you will find the beauty here.

 

Fall.

Sometimes, when life circumstances or sin issues overcome us, we fall.

And so last Fall, I fell, and I fell hard.

After a long year of trying to sell our home, we spent the summer moving to a new town, with a culture all its own.  It’s a small country town, and I love the quiet of it, the friendly feel of it.  The summer was a whirlwind of remodeling and unpacking and general chaos.

So, when the long, quiet, isolated days of winter came and I had little to do but sit with my thoughts, I began to mourn.

I mourned for the family and friends who used to live nearby.

I mourned for our YMCA with its lovely child watch room.

I mourned for the fellowship of our previous church.

I mourned for my work-out buddy.

I mourned for the amazing children’s section of our old library, the convenience of grocery stores and Walmart, the trusted babyistters who lived nearby, and on and on.

At the same time, my marriage relationship was under a great deal of stress, so I was mourning the temporary loss of my best friend, as well.  And as I sit here and write this, tears fall because the pain of loss was so, so great.  It overwhelmed me.

I felt alone and abandoned, even by God.

And that’s when I fell.

I quit believing that He only allows things into my life that will be worked out for good.  I quit believing that He was by my side, mourning right along with me. I  failed to understand the purpose in His choice to remove almost every comfort from my life simultaneously.

Falling is hard.

It’s painful.

It brings sadness and shame along with it.

A spiritual fall can be just as painful as a physical fall. But on the other side of falling, a beautiful thing takes place, something that wouldn't happen if it were not for the fall in the first place. One Unexpected Benefit of Falling

But on the other side of falling, is being picked up.  Just like when my sweet little daughter falls and scrapes her leg. It hurts and we want the pain to go away, but there is also comfort there.  There are loving arms to envelope us, to chase the sadness away.

Sometimes we fight those arms and we fail to find comfort.  And that’s where I sat for a time.  I blamed God for so many things in my life, even my own sin (gasp! yes, it’s true).  But He never let go of me, even as I thrashed about and begged for release.

In a weird way, I’m glad I fell because it gave Him a chance to show me just how full His love is for me – that even when I’m downright nasty and ugly to Him, and sometimes even to those around me, He loves me anyway.

When you fall down, He picks you up.

Because He loves you anyway.

Praise the Lord!

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell His Story, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, Wholehearted Wednesdays, A Little R & R Wednesdays

Five Minute Friday is a challenge, a free-writing exercise for bloggers.  5 minutes of writing with no editing, etc.  If you’d like more information, check here:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Christianity, Women of Faith Tagged With: Faith, Fall, Five Minute Friday, Free writing, Jesus, love, Mourning, Romans, sin, trials, unconditional love

Comments

  1. Stephanie Wafer says

    June 7, 2013 at 13:28

    When we are obedient to share, He faithfully uses our fallings and failings to encourage others. I shared this with a friend, so thanks so much for letting it all out and being real. Someone, probably many, needs to hear it. God is good 🙂 (Visiting from LisaJo’s place.)

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 7, 2013 at 13:31

      Thanks, Stephanie. It was good for me to write it and remember, too. God IS good, even when it feels like He’s not. I’m glad you visited today.
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  2. Marissa D says

    June 7, 2013 at 14:05

    This is a great post – so glad you decided to share it! He does always pick us up again. We just have to let Him.

    Marissa

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 10, 2013 at 22:33

      Thanks, Marissa. I’m glad you stopped by!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  3. Jennifer Camp says

    June 7, 2013 at 15:48

    Jen, yes, I know what it means to fall, to flail, to push back against a God I know who loves me but whom I can get frustrated with because, honestly, I sometimes wish things didn’t have to be hard. But yes, He is present and loves us . . . and I grew up in a small country town. And I know how it can be isolating. Bless you, sister, for your beauty and faith and courage in shining His light here. So grateful. (And thank you for your sweet words for me today.)

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 7, 2013 at 22:54

      I so greatly appreciate your words! You have encouraged me.
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  4. Lois @ LiveNourished.net says

    June 7, 2013 at 19:03

    Oh, Jen… what a fantastic post. So real, so honest, so true and such a blessing. Thank you for reminding me about the ‘picking up’ part… it’s something I too easily forget in the midst of the ‘fall’ part.
    (Thank you also for linking to my poem – truly blessed to be featured here – your blog is great – so happy to have connected with you!) 🙂
    God bless,
    Lois

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 7, 2013 at 22:56

      Thanks so much, Lois! 🙂 I envy your gift of poetry since I’m more gifted in the area of prose. Haha. I’m glad to have “met” you.
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  5. Ruby Manchanda says

    June 8, 2013 at 10:49

    Wonderful writing and so true and wise

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 8, 2013 at 13:06

      Thank you for the kind words, Ruby. I’m glad you stopped by.
      Jen : )

      Reply
  6. Rebekah says

    June 9, 2013 at 16:51

    Oh my goodness, this is *so* me. Big, long, sigh…I know exactly what you’re saying here. And God IS good to pick us up again!! Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 10, 2013 at 13:09

      Haha – I’m glad I’m not the only one! 🙂 I think so often when we get in those places, we think we’re all alone. But we’re not. He is there, and often if we are able to open up to others, we find that fellow brothers and sisters in Christ might be in the same spot themselves. I’m glad you stopped by!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  7. Amelia Rhodes says

    June 10, 2013 at 22:22

    “But on the other side of falling, is being picked up.” That is a beautiful line to remember! I moved 1,200 miles from a big city to a small town four years ago. While I love my new town, my heart still aches for the community we had down there. You are not alone! Thanks for sharing this painful, yet redeeming, piece with us today!

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 10, 2013 at 22:36

      Wow, Amelia – I only had to move 45 minutes away, but it does feel like another world at times. 😉 It’s so good to know I’m not alone!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  8. Sue says

    June 11, 2013 at 05:36

    Hey Jen, I went through a very similar time back in ‘ 99 when we made a move south due to my husbands business. I wrote about it in a series called “Reaching Out & Developing a Community around You” . It was absolutely amazing to see all The Lord did then. We are still in awe! I’d also love to encourage you to visit with Krystle from Worship While I’m Waiting. She also just started blogging only weeks ago. You may be able to impart some wisdom to her and you both seem to be around the same ages and share the same writing styles. (She has also linked up with us) Thanks for linking and sharing with us at One Sharendipity Pl. again this week! We always enjoy visiting with you!
    Sue @ thet2women.com

    Reply
    • stultsmamaof4 says

      June 11, 2013 at 08:45

      Thanks, Sue. I will take a look at your series and the other blog you suggested!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  9. Jennifer Dukes Lee says

    April 20, 2016 at 11:53

    So happy to let you know that your post is our featured #TellHisStory. 🙂

    Reply
    • jstults says

      April 20, 2016 at 21:49

      I feel honored! Thank you so much, Jennifer!
      Jen 🙂

      Reply
  10. liz says

    April 20, 2016 at 20:19

    I’m pretty sure my own decade long fall in my late teens and early 20s is the only reason my faith is so strong today – because He picked me back up again! You did a lot in 5 minutes! Blessings, liz

    Reply
    • jstults says

      April 20, 2016 at 21:53

      It does teach us about His character, doesn’t it? I have a deeper understanding of the measure of His love, and for that I am thankful! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
      Jen

      Reply

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Hi, I'm Jen: a work in progress. I'm imperfect - a mom of four, pastor's wife, discipler, and sinner saved only by grace. I like to sing, read, write, teach, and smile. I have a heart for encouraging women everywhere to understand God's limitless love for them and what His grace means for everyday living. Welcome! :) Read More…

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