stultsmamaof4, Author at Being Confident Of This

Sanity Saving Chore Charts

May 23, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 24 Comments

Last summer we sold our home and moved to the community that we are currently ministering to. We were very blessed to be able to move into a larger home, and I just knew it would be perfect for the kids and perfect for entertaining people. What I didn’t count on was the time it would take to adjust to cleaning and maintaining a larger home!

I quickly found myself overwhelmed by the cleaning projects that come with maintaining an older, farm-style home.

I struggled for months with the housework and felt like I was always “behind.” Because I felt frustrated and overwhelmed, every little mess the kids made irritated me – every spilled cup, every toy left out, every article of dirty clothing on the floor – and I often found myself grumping at them even as I was telling myself to have patience.

I felt like I was losing my mind! It was as if I was stuck in Romans 7, knowing what I wanted to do, but feeling utterly incapable of doing it.

So, after many tears of frustration and quite a bit of prayer, my husband and I decided it was high time to expect a little more of our four children.

You see, our children have always had chores, but in the craziness of moving and settling in, we’d become lax in our supervision of them.

We decided that the best way to save my sanity was to create new chore charts!

I set about researching some age appropriate chores since we have such a wide age-span in our family and quickly realized that we had failed to see how much our children had grown. Obviously they had grown physically, but we failed to notice they were now also more mature and more capable of handling more difficult tasks.

For our younger two children, we chose this flip-up system with pictures of each daily chore. When all chores are finished and flipped, they can see their names spelled out.

Need a little help getting started? You can check out my parenting board on pinterest for DIY tutorials that I used as a base for building my own. (Also, my amazing sister has taken these flip charts a step further with some great ideas at her blog Love Notes. In addition to the flip chore charts, she utilizes a morning and evening checklist and a chore jar, where children get to choose an extra chore to complete and receive a nice prize.)

Preschool chores focus mainly on taking care of the body, and beginning to take responsibility for their own messes. We chose to incorporate things that should become daily habits such as: brushing teeth, making bed, getting dressed, clearing dishes from the table, picking up laundry, and picking up toys.

They both remain very enthusiastic about flipping up the chores they have done each day, even after several months have passed!

In fact, our daughter often wants to do her bedtime chores (laundry) in the morning because she wants her name to be complete. 🙂

Our older boys have more complex chore charts that are laminated so they can be re-used. We use dry-erase markers to check things off. One of the things I like most about the chore charts for the older boys is that they are divided into categories that emphasize different areas of their personal responsibilities.

You can see the various categories highlighted on the left in the picture below.

The weekly responsibilities have options to allow for personal choice, and the tasks in that area of the chart are more difficult for our oldest son, who is 13.

(One important note: the “Taking care of my relationship with God” area is included only as a reminder to our older boys. We don’t want time with God to be assigned a “task” status.)

In our home, chores are part of being a family and working together toward a common goal, which is to be good stewards of the material things God has given us.

Doing chores helps our children to learn personal responsibility as well as team-work.

For that reason, we do not pay our children an allowance in relation to their chores. Instead, we reserve allowance for teaching financial stewardship and how money works in general, but that is just our family preference.

However, our older boys were understandably less excited about the new chore charts, and our fairly intense 7-year-old was so overwhelmed by the change that he was practically in tears. (What he didn’t realize at first is that most of the things on his list were things he already does on a daily basis, like brushing his teeth and making his bed.)

In an attempt to lighten the mood and help them adjust to additional responsibilities, we added a bonus for good attitudes and for helpfulness without prompting – an additional 50 cents on their allowance.

For our new chore system to function well, we realized that we would need a consequence for those times when our older boys failed to complete their chores. We wanted the consequence to be more of a learning opportunity (“the punishment fits the crime” approach).

Eventually we settled on this method: if there is a pattern of a chore going undone, then the consequence would be to complete the undone chore, as well as an additional one.

I love this solution! It simultaneously helps me and provides an unpleasant experience that they don’t wish to repeat. I’m happy to report that we rarely have to enforce consequences with the chores because the boys really, really dislike doing extra chores.

Although we’ve had a few bumps along the way, our house has been much tidier in general, considering we have four children living here. I no longer feel overwhelmed on a daily basis. Additionally, I’m less uptight about the messes the little ones make because I know they’ll be picking them up before bed.

My sanity has been restored!

Perhaps most importantly, I know that developing these good habits now will benefit them greatly as they grow into adulthood.

Although initially the chore charts mean a little more work for us parents in supervising and making sure tasks are completed (or even teaching a new skill), the goal is to eventually make parenting a little easier in this area of keeping a tidy home.

So, if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by your housework, feeling taken for granted as the one who cleans up after everyone, or feeling like you just might lose your mind, consider the following questions.

4 Questions to ask about chores:

Who does the chores? Are you expecting enough help from your children, or do they think it is just Mom’s job to clean up after everyone all of the time? Or do you often take on the majority of the work because it’s easier to just “do it yourself?” I admit to being guilty as charged on both accounts previously. However, especially if you have sons, try to consider how their future wives might feel about this unhealthy portrait of what a wife and mother is “supposed” to do. At the same time, think of the message you are sending your young daughters. Yes, we are called to be homemakers, managers of the household, but that does not mean we have to do everything on our own! 🙂
Are the chores age-appropriate? If like me, you failed to realize how “big” your babies are getting, you might want to rethink your expectations of them. If you are unsure of what chores are appropriate for your children, a quick google search or pinterest search will return a wealth of information!
Are the chores focused on teaching your children personal responsibility? One of our goals with the new chore charts was to emphasize the stewardship aspect of chores. We want our children to learn to take care of their things and the things we share commonly, such as our home and vehicles.
Are the chores fairly distributed? Yes, older children are capable of handling more responsibilities than younger children. However, avoid burdening one child with the majority of responsibility. For example, when in a hurry to tidy up previously, I would ask our oldest son to pick up the toys. He is generally helpful and I knew he would do a good job. However, when my husband and I looked at teaching personal responsibility, I realized I was making a mistake. With the new chore system, we really worked at making sure he wasn’t bearing a disproportionate load just because he is older and is more compliant. Additionally, make sure you don’t put off the majority of the housework onto your children. Mom should have her own set of chores to do (Dad too)! Lead by example. 🙂

For now I am very happy (and sane!) with our current chore charts, but I’m sure after a time we’ll need to look at it again and make changes. I wouldn’t mind trying out a few different methods to give the children a variety, to keep it fresh and exciting.

If you don’t currently have a chore system in place, why not give one a try? It just might save your sanity!

Jen 🙂

What methods do you use for teaching responsibility and team-work in the home? Give us your best advice in the comments!

For more great ideas on how to maximize the flip charts for younger children, check out this blog:

http://sarahjofairchild.wordpress.com/2013/06/11/bogo-mommyhood-chore-charts/

Also linking up at:

The Power of Music

May 20, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 2 Comments

I love music. I love to sing it, I love to play it (when I have time), and I love to listen to it. I love all sorts of music, too. In our house you might hear contemporary christian, classical, broadway, oldies, big band, some jazz, a little country, a little rap. and even some of what my husband refers to as “love music” (think ballads!). By far my favorite music is the kind that speaks truth directly to my soul! You know what I’m talking about – those songs that are almost devastating in their truth and beauty.

Even my young, four-year-old daughter knows the power of music. I can no longer sing, “Rock-a-bye baby” to her because the melody makes her sad. On the other hand, my seven-year-old son likes enthusiastic jams from artists like TobyMac, not surprising since he’s our energetic one. When the kids are fighting with each other and just can’t seem to get along, a dance party to some great music goes a long way toward re-establishing their sibling camaraderie. When nothing seems to be going right, I find solace in music.

Music is powerful.

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ~Victor Hugo

Music is an outburst of the soul ~ Frederick DeLuis

Psalms 95:1 – O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.

James 5:13 – Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.

In the scriptures we read about times of rejoicing, accompanied by music, and times of sorrow, accompanied by music. When David killed the Philistine giant, God’s people rejoiced through music. When King Saul struggled with sorrow and other emotions, David’s instrument soothed him. When Paul and Silas sat imprisoned, they sang songs of thankfulness and praise to the Lord. Music is for happy times, sad times, and all of those times in between. Praise the Lord for the incredible gift of music!

So today when my head and heart are full of so many different thoughts and emotions that I don’t even know where to begin, why not begin and end with a song?

Jen 🙂

When do you turn to music?

Peaceful Parenting (No Thanks to Pinterest)

May 17, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 7 Comments

We’ve been experiencing some parenting problems in our home recently. With four children, it’s bound to happen from time to time!

One of our children is struggling socially at school since we moved last summer and has requested to home school this fall. While I’m willing and capable of teaching him at home, we want to be certain it is the best solution for him.

At the same time, one of our preschoolers has been demonstrating disrespectful behavior by grunting or growling when I attempt to correct him. It’s basically the same thing as saying, “NO, Mom!” I wasn’t expecting such stubbornness to surface at the age of four! What happened to my sweet two-year-old?

Continuing in our efforts to parent with Christ in mind is difficult when we aren’t seeing results.

What am I doing wrong?

What should I do differently?

Sometimes when we’re parenting, there is no clear right or wrong answer.

And this is where I struggle.

When I lack enough evidence to declare one parenting choice as superior to another for our family, I often worry that I’ll make the “wrong choice.”

I can become obsessed with gathering information from various sources in an attempt to make an informed decision. Unfortunately, when I turn to parenting resources (even Christian parenting resources), I often find that they can contradict each other in the details.

In our “how-to” age, we can access a hundred different opinions, or even tried-and-true techniques, about any given subject at any given time.

Which one should a desperate parent choose??

As a mama of four children, I know that not a single method will work well with every child, every time. Thus, one potential problem with looking to others for help is the tendency to see that repeatedly re-pinned, how-to post as gospel-truth.

As I was thinking about social media and how it has changed the way we parent, I wondered: what happened to relying on the Spirit to guide us?

What happened to prayer?

I’ll be the first to admit that when I encounter a problem or challenge, I often run to other humans for wisdom first! After all, it’s natural to ask our peers for advice. However, consider King Solomon’s humble request,

However, consider King Solomon’s humble request,

“Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?” (2 Chron. 2:10).

You see, Solomon had some pretty big shoes to fill when taking over his father David’s kingdom. How would you like to be next in line after the “man after God’s own heart?” Solomon knew he lacked wisdom for leading. He also faced a huge project, the building of the temple! The temple would be a place of worship for generations to come, and that burden rested on Solomon’s shoulders.

Parenting is a little like that, isn’t it?

We know that the choices we make will affect not only our own children, but also our children’s children and even the generations to come. Like Solomon’s task, our task is also great, for a whole world of lost people is at stake!

The key is remembering Whom our children ultimately belong to. Solomon recognized that He was given authority not over his own people, but over God’s people and that the best leader for those people was God Himself. In the same way, as parents we’ve been entrusted with these beautiful beings, but they don’t really belong to us. They belong to Him.

Here’s how to have peace as a parent:

Like Solomon, we parents should ask God for wisdom to lead them, His children.

Please hear me out; I’m not suggesting we exclude the advice of others altogether. I really do enjoy Facebook, Pinterest, and other social media forums and have successfully used many ideas from other savvy moms (along with a few epic failures)! 🙂

What I am suggesting is that we not forget the ultimate source of wisdom when it comes to parenting, or really anything in life – our Father God.

In the midst of my parenting problems, I imagine His response.

Trust Me. Ask ME for wisdom instead of asking others first. Be led by the Holy Spirit and by my Word. After all, I am their Creator; who better to understand them and their needs, but me? Persevere in your purposeful parenting and wait to see what happens.

I still don’t know how to best correct our four-year-old’s sudden defiance, nor do I know where our middle child will attend school this coming fall (update: he has adjusted well to his new school!).

Both situations are works in progress because I am a work-in-progress parent and my children are works in progress as well.

However, I do know that in the midst of my uncertainty, I can trust Him. He is in control. He knows my heart is in the right place.

He knows I want to be a peaceful parent, not one ruled by fear, or dare I even say, by Pinterest? 🙂

My sisters in Christ, if like me, you often feel confused by the wide variety of parenting styles, methods, and opinions out there, I hope today you hear His voice: trust in Me.

If you find yourself lying wide awake at night wondering, “What am I going to do with this child?!,” ask for wisdom. And then sleep peacefully knowing that although your children have imperfect parents, they are perfectly protected in the hands of the Father.

I’d love to hear from you, if you are willing to share!

What parenting issues are you struggling with lately? What scriptures have you turned to for wisdom or encouragement in parenting?

Jen 🙂

If pressure to be a perfect parent plagues you, you might enjoy:

Faithful Friend or Critical Chrisitan ~ A Word on Chronic Suffering

May 14, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 18 Comments

I have a soft spot for those who struggle with chronic health issues, those who experience chronic suffering.

Just recently, I had yet another bout with sinusitis and was reminded once again how much I dislike being ill. I have a medical history complicated by allergies and asthma along with an immune system that just doesn’t work well and never has.

Truthfully, the ONLY positive medical rarity I’ve experienced in life thus far is giving birth to twins! 🙂

While my medical issues pale in comparison to so many others, I struggle often enough to understand some of what it feels like to battle chronic medical conditions.

I understand that chronic sufferers often feel lonely because illness keeps them at home in isolation.

I understand the judgment sometimes felt from uncaring medical professionals, unsympathetic friends, and even gossipers who relate physical health to spiritual health.

I understand the weariness of facing yet another day of pain with no end in sight.

I understand total helplessness.

Over the years, I’ve heard people say some pretty harsh things about our sisters in Christ with chronic conditions, and I’m very ashamed to admit I’ve even had these same thoughts on occasion:

They’re just depressed. They need to get help.

They obviously can’t handle pain well, so they exaggerate their symptoms.

All they do is complain!

They are not living a healthy lifestyle. If they would just eat right, exercise, etc. then they would feel better.

They are not disciplined enough. They should just do what’s right in spite of how they feel.

They’re not trusting God enough.

While all of these statements have the potential to be at least partially true in many cases, they come across as self-righteous.

Is that a little harsh?

Perhaps.

However, such self-righteous thoughts or even voiced opinions do nothing to uplift or encourage that sister in Christ who is so lonely, so overwhelmed, so discouraged, so needy.

Consider these excerpts from Job, who suffered for the glory of the Lord.

Job 12
4 “I have become a laughingstock to my friends,
though I called on God and he answered—
a mere laughingstock, though righteous and blameless!
5 Those who are at ease have contempt for misfortune
as the fate of those whose feet are slipping…

16 Then Job replied:
2 “I have heard many things like these;
you are miserable comforters, all of you!
3 Will your long-winded speeches never end?
What ails you that you keep on arguing?
4 I also could speak like you,
if you were in my place;
I could make fine speeches against you
and shake my head at you.
5 But my mouth would encourage you;
comfort from my lips would bring you relief…

19 Then Job replied:
2 “How long will you torment me
and crush me with words?
3 Ten times now you have reproached me;
shamelessly you attack me.
4 If it is true that I have gone astray,
my error remains my concern alone…

Job was “blameless and upright”; he had done nothing to deserve his suffering, and he continued to turn to the Lord throughout. Yet, how did his religious friends respond? They criticized him. They questioned his faith.

When he needed them most, Job’s friends failed him. How sad that they missed the opportunity to demonstrate brotherly love to Job!

As sisters in Christ, we are called to minister to those in need! Even if those suffering are not as blameless as Job, we are responsible to love them through the difficult times.

I know from experience that suffering from a medical condition can make a person pretty needy, and sometimes we grow weary of giving to someone who cannot give back. Trust me; I’ve been on that side of the coin, too.

As Job said, “Those who are at ease have contempt for misfortune…”

How quickly we forget the depth of the dark when we are bathing in the light.

I’m guilty of it myself.

So, how can we avoid being unsympathetic know-it-alls like Job’s friends?

1. Check your attitude. Don’t condemn or condescend; show compassion instead. You cannot possibly know how difficult your sister’s life is unless you’ve been there yourself. Try to remember a time in your life when you suffered great physical pain or discomfort. Now imagine dealing with that on a daily basis with no end in sight! “Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another….” Eph. 4:32

2. Remember that dealing with medical issues can be scary and lonely, especially when an issue lacks a confirmed diagnosis. Doctors are not always correct and sometimes they lack the medical knowledge or the compassion to find answers patients need. Just because a person does not yet have a diagnosis does not mean “it’s all in the head.” Remind them that you will remain a faithful friend.

3. Before you offer advice to your suffering sister, consider your relationship with her. Are you close enough to her to have all of the facts, or have you made assumptions based on partial information? Have you first spent time in earnest prayer for her? Do you have a strong enough relationship that she will be able to hear you in love without being wounded by your words?

4. Be the Body of Christ! Offer an encouraging word, send a card or note to let her know you are thinking of and praying for her! Additionally, offer some practical help – making a meal, providing child care, cleaning the house, running an errand, even giving financially to help with medical bills in the case of severe illness. Don’t say, “If you need help, let me know.” Instead say, “I want to help by _________. When is a good day or time?” A specific offer of help is much more difficult to turn down. 🙂

On the other hand, if you, my sister in Christ, struggle with chronic medical issues, remember that you are not alone and that God IS in control, even when it doesn’t feel like it. The Word can be a tremendous source of encouragement during such trials

Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We don’t always understand His ways, His reasons, for allowing trials in our lives, but we can trust in His compassion for us.

Hebrews 4:15-16

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Jesus suffered. He suffered physically, emotionally, even mentally in his life as a human on earth. He was betrayed by friends and rejected (albeit briefly) by His own father. He suffered horribly and then He died. If anyone can understand your pain, He can!

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.

Over the years, I have learned that God often uses illness to get my attention, to bring me back to that place where I am totally reliant on Him because my physical body has failed me.

I don’t always know or understand why God allows such frequent illness, but I am secure in the fact that He only allows things into my life that He can work for good (Rom. 8:28). I hope you find that same comfort!

So as we go about our week, let’s remember those in our circles who are hurting. I challenge you to put a little time and effort into encouraging a suffering sister in Christ this week!

Who’s with me?

Jen 🙂

If you know someone who is struggling spiritually rather than physically, here’s an excellent article on that issue:

http://lori-benotweary.blogspot.com/2013/06/when-someone-you-love-is-struggling.html

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

The Superwoman Myth

May 10, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 29 Comments

Before Reading: Write down (or think of) the one personality trait that you dislike most about yourself. Example: I am too shy, I am too loud, etc. Save for later! 🙂

………………………………….

A few weeks ago, my seven-year-old son came to me after receiving a scolding and said something that shook me to the core. “Mom, sometimes I feel like you expect me to be perfect.”

Immediately my eyes burned with tears because I knew that feeling, the feeling of not being good enough, and I certainly did not want my child to ever fear that he wasn’t “good enough” for me!

Nevertheless, somehow I sent that message to him, and although unintentional on my part, I felt overwhelmed by sadness and then by conviction.

You see, God’s been speaking to me about this issue lately, about my tendency toward perfectionism.

I’m realizing it’s not only frustrating for me, but it’s something that often negatively effects my relationships with others also. For these reasons, perfectionism is the personality trait that I dislike most about myself.

So why do so many of us women struggle with perfectionism and other personality flaws?

Because we have bought into the Superwoman Myth.

You know, the myth about the woman who does it all and does it perfectly?! Wouldn’t we all love to be that supreme woman, to bask in the knowledge that we ROCK at being women – everyday in every thing and all of the time?!

If Superwoman truly exists, she certainly is difficult to find in the midst of our messy everyday lives.

The first contributor to this Superwoman Myth is self.

How many times have you written yourself a to-do list a mile long and actually expected to get most of those tasks accomplished?

And at the end of the day when you have only made it to number 3, how do you feel?

Frustrated?

Discouraged?

Or consider this: How often do you feel like you’re making so much progress in one area, only to discover you’re completely falling apart in another?

Although some of us may come close to being Superwoman on a given day, soaring above the circumstances of messy homes, sick family members, extra hours of work, and so forth, the perfect mother, the perfect wife, sister, friend, daughter, child of God – she does not exist!

Instead of listening to the lies perpetuated by our superwoman-wannabe selves, let’s listen to the truths our Creator God has to say about us.

Psalm 139:13-14

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”

God created you purposefully and intentionally to be who you are.

While he did not create you to sin, He did create you with your unique personality, your unique strengths and weaknesses. The good news is that even those things we tend to see as our weaknesses can become strengths with His help.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Those personality traits we so often view as flaws have positive aspects to them, my sisters in Christ!

For example, while my perfectionism easily leads to worry and sin, it is incredibly helpful for tasks that require attention to detail. Likewise, people who are argumentative may be difficult to get along with, yet they make excellent lawyers and advocates for others. While those who are easy-going often lack organizational skills, they are typically great friends and listeners.

Let’s find the beauty in being who God created us to be instead of wishing we were someone else.

Let’s allow Him to work in our weaknesses to make us strong.

The second contributor to the Superwoman Myth is how we view others.

How many of us can honestly say that we’ve never compared ourselves to another woman…ever?!

None of us can.

Especially in this age of social media, we are very aware of the skills other women have. Furthermore, we often envy those things in others that we feel we are lacking.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to admire others and to challenge ourselves to grow.

We definitely want to be the best

wife,

mother,

sister,

daughter,

aunt,

woman

that we can possibly be.

The problem is that sometimes when we see all of this womanly awesomeness out there, we wish that we could be someone we are not, someone we were never created to be.

We wish we could be more …

more pretty,

more popular,

more successful,

more creative,

more organized,

– you fill in the blank!

But the beauty of a relationship with God is that it’s personal, unique to the individual.

While all women are similar in that we are imperfect sinners, saved only by the belief that Christ’s shed blood paid the penalty of death we so deserved, we can be very different in the way we live our faith out.

1 Corinthians 12:12-20 confirms this idea:

“Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.”

We each have a part to play in the body of Christ, and He’s created each of us uniquely to fulfill the role He’s planned out for us.

So the next time you feel unworthy, inadequate, or that you just don’t have anything “special” to offer, remember that God created you to be you, and that He created you to fulfill your role and yours alone.

His intention is for me to be the best Jen that I can be, not the best Suzy or Katherine or Betsy (or maybe in this perfectionist’s case the best Suzy and Katherine and Betsy.)

No, He simply wants me to be the best Jen.

And the best Jen might look very different from the best Kelly or the best Martha.

Now, isn’t that truth freeing?

Follow me to part two of the Superwoman Myth to discover the third and final freeing truth and to learn what to do with that least favorite personality trait of yours.

Jen 🙂

Read the rest here:

Sharing with: Making Your Home Sing Mondays, Titus 2 Tuesday, Unite Linky, Mama Moments Monday, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, Wholehearted Wednesdsays, A Little R and R

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You just finished an excerpt from Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy the book!

When Temptation Lingers Near

May 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 13 Comments

Have you ever felt like the enemy has set his sights on you? Have you felt stuck, between a rock and hard place with no way out?

In those moments, victory seems near impossible. We have no strength of our own for making the wise choice, the right choice.

Instead, we feel helpless and hopeless – overwhelmed by the temptation to give in and give up!

The following story is about one such day…

…………………………………………………….

It’s almost supper time, but the stove top sits empty and no pleasing aromas fragrance the air. I’ve not even yet decided what to cook, let alone made any sort of preparations. Instead, I’m sitting in my bedroom trying desperately to pray while my preschoolers whine for attention right outside of the bedroom door.

My husband, weary from our recent argument, sits slumped over just outside the door at the dining room table. He’s grumbling over the budget and seems unaware of the noise around him.

There is no peace, no quiet.

But I need to pray because I am one moment away from falling into temptation. One moment from allowing my impatience, anger, resentment, and frustration to spill over onto my family. One moment away from blowing any chance at doing right.

At this moment I am certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Satan has set his sights on me; I’m being tested.

Finish reading this article at it’s new home HERE. 🙂

Choosing Mary Moments in a Martha World

May 2, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 25 Comments

Like many women, I’ve been really busy this week with a lot of good things. In addition to my everyday tasks, two things in particular have taken up a fair amount of time: a Mother’s Day talk I am working on for church and a future blog post that just isn’t quite right yet.

They are both really good things, both uplifting to the Body of Christ and instructive for me, the writer.

However, last night and this morning God was working in my heart to show me a truth that I had learned before, but temporarily forgotten. Good things can become bad things when they distract me from the BEST thing – my relationship with Him!

You see, I thought I was doing good by feverishly working on these projects in my spare time, which you can understand as a mother of four children is indeed very spare.

In my zeal and enthusiasm for this good work, I forgot to turn to the Source from whom the words flow.

I neglected the best work!

Sounds an awful lot like Martha, doesn’t it?

Luke 10:38- 42 reads:

³⁸As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Martha was busy doing good things – taking care of others, preparing food to serve them, and so forth. They were necessary preparations. But when she expressed her frustration to the Lord about her sister Mary, He actually rebuked her instead! He told her that Mary’s choice to fellowship with and learn from Him was the better choice, the BEST choice.

Jesus audaciously suggests that perhaps Martha should be choosing some Mary moments!

I had the opportunity earlier this year to attend a women’s conference, and the main speaker, Kimberly Sowell, so aptly narrated this story to us. She reminded us that we live in a Martha World – full of work and busy schedules.

Those tasks, those good and necessary things that we do on a daily basis (raising up children, working, serving others, preparing meals, even work related to ministry) have to be done, but we must be careful not to let them distract us from the most important thing – abiding in Him.

Don’t make the mistake I made; don’t choose simply good things over the BEST thing. Choose to make time for a Mary moment in spite of your Martha world.

And as soon as you start choosing Mary moments, don’t be surprised if something needs your immediate attention.

This morning, as soon as I sat down on my bed and opened my Bible, my preschoolers who were playing so nicely together suddenly needed my TOTAL attention.

Thankfully, God reminded me that Satan is always at work, and rather than getting frustrated and giving up, I was able to quickly attend to their needs and come right back to my Bible.

It wasn’t easy with two distracting 4-year-olds at my feet (and on my bed, sometimes even in my lap), but it was worthwhile, and I know He was pleased with my obedience.

I know because when I finished, I had peace.

Will you be choosing Mary moments today?

Jen 🙂

*This blog makes use of affiliate links. For more information, please visit the About page. Thank you for supporting the ministry of this site!

You just finished an excerpt from Being Confident of This: 30 Days to Discovering Your Identity in Christ. If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy the book!

For practical advice on how to focus on the Best thing, read more here.

*After writing this, several readers mentioned this book. I haven’t read it yet, but it looks excellent!

My Monday Morning Confession

April 29, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 26 Comments

Yesterday was Sunday. Yesterday I was so excited about actually starting this blog (and not just talking about it), about the potential to reach others, like myself, and encourage them, spur them on.

Yesterday, I was swept up in awe of God and the paths He leads us down, often paths we might not have chosen for ourselves. I was typing out oh-so-many ideas at once. I was working and re-working potential posts and the format of the blog itself.

I was confident.

I was on FIRE!

But today is Monday. Today brings with it

Today brings with it uncertainty and doubt, perhaps mixed with a little fear that I’ve gotten myself in waaaaaaay over my head.

Today, after having looked around at fellow faith bloggers, I’m feeling insignificant, untalented, and overwhelmed. Maybe even a little foolish. Today I’m tempted to listen to that voice that says, “What were you thinking??”

Isn’t that how it starts, though?

For one second we take our eyes off of the Father, and suddenly we’re bombarded by these devastating untruths.

Insignificant – it’s an untruth straight from the depths of self and Satan. Self tells me I need to create something I can be proud of, something of worth. Self tells me to be careful; don’t let your pride be wounded. Self makes it about me instead of about Christ.

Then Satan, being the opportunist he is, inserts his voice…insignificant. Wouldn’t he love for all of us women of faith to believe that?! It makes his destructive work so much easier to accomplish!

Thank the Lord that we have His word, the Sword of the Spirit, to combat these untruths. Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” He “knit” us together in our mother’s wombs. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He has loved us with “an everlasting love.”

And His Son Jesus, His one and only, perfect Son calls us His brothers and sisters. That doesn’t sound so insignificant to me. These are just a few nuggets from a gold mine of Scriptures detailing the Father’s love for us.

Even more, consider Romans 5:8, which says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” If nothing more, surely that nugget alone makes us significant! For a Father to sacrifice His only Son in my place while I remained a helpless and unworthy sinner, means that He places extraordinarily great value on me.

And on you, friend.

What a comfort for a Monday morning!

So, if you’re like me today, and the reality of a Monday morning world has dampened your Sunday fire, remember who you are.

You are the redeemed,

the beloved,

the chosen,

the loved-beyond-measure child of the Most High.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can confidently conquer that Monday world!

Epheisans 6:10 – 17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Arm yourselves, friends,

Jen : )

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

“Being confident…

April 28, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

Why start a blog about living a life of grace and truth as a daughter of the King, when there are already a lot of great blogs out there on this same subject? I’ve been asking myself this question for months, talking myself out of blogging for months, making excuses for months. Who am I to think I have something important to say? Why choose to write in the format of a blog? What if no one likes what I write? Isn’t it prideful of me to think I could lead other women to walk in Christ, to grow in Christ-likeness? I asked all of these questions over and over.

One of the answers I found was that this blog would be a creative outlet for my desire and ability (albeit amateur) to write, a very inexpensive outlet. Another answer I found was that I often have a desire to “speak up” about issues concerning faith, mothering, being a woman, etc. that are important to me. The most important reason, however, is for me to use the gifts God has given me – and I don’t say this with pride, but with confidence that He knows what He’s doing. He’s given me the gift of written word for a reason, a purpose. He’s leading me to step out in faith, something I’m so uncomfortable doing. So, this is my journey, my walk of faith, my obedience to a Father who has shown me grace in abundance. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I will enjoy writing!

Jen : )

We decided that the best way to save my sanity was to create new chore charts!

Doing chores helps our children to learn personal responsibility as well as team-work.

4 Questions to ask about chores:

Sometimes when we’re parenting, there is no clear right or wrong answer.

Here’s how to have peace as a parent:

In the midst of my parenting problems, I imagine His response.

So, how can we avoid being unsympathetic know-it-alls like Job’s friends?

Because we have bought into the Superwoman Myth.

The first contributor to this Superwoman Myth is self.

Let’s find the beauty in being who God created us to be instead of wishing we were someone else.

The second contributor to the Superwoman Myth is how we view others.

Will you be choosing Mary moments today?

For one second we take our eyes off of the Father, and suddenly we’re bombarded by these devastating untruths.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can confidently conquer that Monday world!