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Fighting Fear With Pre-approval

April 22, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 11 Comments

In just two days time, I’ll be bearing a bit of my heart here on this blog. I’ll be sharing my story, my part of the Thursday series – Verdict on Value. And once again, I find myself a little afraid. 🙂

It happens sometimes when you write, especially when the subject matter brings up conflicting emotions. You may feel confident at first, but then you begin to doubt and fear. You face your own insecurity.

Will the words really matter? Will others understand? Have I handled this subject fairly?

And the worst of all fears. What will people think?

That’s really what it boils down to: how others might receive those carefully penned or typed words, some that brought forth smiles and fond memories and others that brought forth tears and sorrow.

I’ve been learning my whole life it seems how to let go of that pressure, the pressure to be perfect. And not that anyone ever told me I had to be, because they didn’t, but that I convinced myself it was necessary, like so many other undesired sacrifices.

I wanted to be the good girl, the best girl, and if I’m being really honest there is still some little part of me that wants this, too.

I see it now even in one of my young sons. He yearns for praise. I often catch him bragging because he yearns for others to see how wonderful he is. And truly, he is wonderful (especially in this mama’s eyes), but it hurts me to see him striving so at such a young age.

At the same time it reminds me that I still struggle myself.

So, how can I help him to see the truths that I’m still learning to recognize?

I can only hope that being honest, taking down the facade, and admitting my own fear and insecurity will help him to recognize that we all fall short, we all do. Ever since the days of paradise and a forbidden apple eaten, we all fall short.

I can only hope that teaching him of a Savior who turns those weaknesses into strengths,

who has a plan for him,

who loves him just for who he is and not what he does,

who cherished him even before he was born,

who welcomes him with open arms when he fails – I can only hope that such knowledge will sink deep roots into his young heart much earlier than those truths began to sink into mine.

I’ve been reading Jennifer Dukes Lee’s posts about our Love Idols, and I’m realizing how early it starts, this yearning to be approved by this world when we are already approved by the Maker of this world.

Even from those early toddler calls of “Look at me, mommy!”, we want to be seen, to be valued, to be approved.

^“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God?

Or am I striving to please men?”

Gal. 1:10 (a)

Sadly, some of us Christ-followers, will spend our entire lives chasing that approval, all the while fearing that we just aren’t good enough.

We’ll miss the irony that we are already pre-approved by the most powerful Person in all of creation because of His Son!

If we could only grasp that early on and not waste precious years searching for something we already have in our possession.

But we can, friends.

We can begin right now.

We can ferret out those love idols in our lives and hand them over to our gracious and loving Father. We can cling to the hope of imperfect progress and proclaim the bold truths of Philippians 1:6!

We can share with others what we are doing and ask them to do the same. We can speak truth to our children about this pre-approval, bought at the price of a one and only Son.

I’m asking the Lord to help me lay down my fear and insecurity, my need for human approval and perceived perfection. I’m asking Him to work in the hearts of my children, that they will learn early on what it means to be cherished by the One True God, King of Kings, Sovereign Lord, the Most High.

I’m asking the Father to open their eyes wide to these truths.

And I’m asking for you, too, my friends, that you will see how fearfully and wonderfully made you are in the eyes of your Creator.

We who’ve been painted red that we might be white as snow.

I’m banishing fear for tonight in favor of truth.

Join me, will you?

Jen 🙂

For more information on the Love Idol movement, check out the facebook page!

I’m sharing this here:

The Time Warp Wife, Rich Faith Rising, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Wholehearted Home, A Little R&R,

Woman to Woman,Titus 2 Tuesday,Cornerstone Confessions,

Arabah’s Story

April 17, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

Each Thursday for the next few weeks, we are talking about breaking free from insecurity, comparison, and shame. We are sharing our raw and messy real life stories. But also, more importantly, we are sharing the truths that set us free. We have bathed this series in prayer and ask now that the Father knit our hearts together and strengthen us to slay this giant called “insecurity” in our hearts.

Verdict on Value

Shame has tried to silence me my entire life.

Ever since I was four years old… ever since a man named Jackie… shame’s gnarly fingers have gripped my soul, choked me with its hateful whispers.

I thought this was normal. I thought it was true. And until recently, I couldn’t separate shame from me, my personhood.

Shame has been my closest companion, weaving itself so intimately with me that I thought it was me. On dark, lonely nights, shame was there. On cold days and warm summers and in crowds and by myself, shame has always been there. Shame was happy to bring his friends too: insecurity, fear, and inferiority.

Let me tell you about my companion: Shame tells me something bad’s wrong with me. I’ll never be worth anything. That no one will listen. That I don’t have anything valuable to contribute. Ever. That I’ll never be enough. Together, shame and friends have worked to squelch my individuality, limit my creativity, mold me into a conformist, keep me silent and stagnant, and rob me of real intimacy.

{Click here to finish reading Arabah’s story}

Be sure to catch all of the posts in our Verdict on Value series:

March 27th – Kathy from Free to Fly (Approval)

April 3rd – Interview with Jennifer Dukes Lee (and a chance to win her new book, Love Idol!)

April 10th – Kerry from Plenty Place (Reputation)

April 17th – Arabah from Arabah Joy (Shame ~with a free printable)

April 24th – Jen from Being Confident of This (Confidence)

May 1st – Leah from The Point (Insecurity)

May 8th – Wrap up at Arabah Joy’s place

Kerry’s Story

April 10, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

Verdict on Value

A wise woman once told me, “You can only promote one reputation at a time; yours or God’s.”

When I strive to be recognized by others, then God looks small to the world (while I appear haughty and desperate). But if I seize every opportunity to spread God’s fame, then I fade into the background and His glorious kindness shines brightly.

It boils down to this. God is the all-powerful, sinless Creator… so His reputation is more important than mine. Yet because He loves and values me unconditionally, Jesus died to pay the price for my redemption. I am valuable to God! Does anybody else’s acceptance really matter?

When I rest in belonging to Him I can throw myself into Kingdom work by promoting God’s reputation. My every decision will be filtered through the question, “Will this action of mine show the world how great God is?”

On the other hand, if I doubt my value to God…then proving my worth through accomplishments, possessions, or my appearance becomes my full-time career. No resources remain for pursuing Christ and sharing Him with others.

Let’s look at two women of the Bible who illustrate these contrasting ideas. Hannah, who promoted God’s reputation instead of her own, and Miriam, who coveted more accolades for herself. {For a refreshing dip into God’s Word, click over to Kerry’s post.}

Be sure to catch all of the posts in our Verdict on Value series:

March 27th – Kathy from Free to Fly (Approval)

April 3rd – Interview with Jennifer Dukes Lee (and a chance to win her new book, Love Idol!)

April 10th – Kerry from Plenty Place (Reputation)

April 17th – Arabah from Arabah Joy (Shame ~with a free printable)

April 24th – Jen from Being Confident of This (Confidence)

May 1st – Leah from The Point (Insecurity)

May 8th – Wrap up at Arabah Joy’s place

The Verdict on Your Value Series

March 20, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 6 Comments

Today I’m sharing wise words from my friend Arabah Joy about our value.

Verdict on Value

Noise. Our lives are surrounded by it.

It bombards from within and without and much of our daily noise serves one purpose: to tell us how we are measuring up. It tells us what we are… or aren’t. It tells us we are worthy, successful, valuable, up to par… or we, simply, are not. It tells us we can take it easy on ourselves… or we need to try harder, do more, drive ourselves further.

It should be no surprise to us that the enemy of our souls is alive and well in the noise, tempting us to such things as:

Comparisons

Pride

Insecurity

Intimidation

Inferiority

Selfish Ambition

Shame

Silence

As tempting and overpowering as these things may seem, we need not give place to them in our hearts. God’s Word tells us that greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. We can face the noise of our lives well equipped for triumph, grace, and confidence.

I am pleased to be part of a brand new series entitled “The Verdict on Value.” This series is about standing in confidence in a dog-eat-dog world and is brought to you by a group of blogging friends who have seen firsthand the damage comparison, insecurity, shame, and the like can do. Throughout this series we are going to share our stories and temptations with insecurity… and how Christ has worked in our lives to free us.

We invite you to join us every Thursday for the next 7 weeks for this series. We have some fun surprises planned as well 🙂 Just be sure to tune in to this blog each Thursday! Here’s a sneak peak into the series and the bloggers I have the privilege of working with on this:

Kathy from Free to Fly

Leah from The Point (Ministry Insecurity)

Jen from Confident in Grace

Arabah from Arabah Joy (Confessions from a Shameful Woman ~with a free mini Bible study printable)

Kerry from Plenty Place

Interview with Jennifer Dukes Lee (and a book giveaway of Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval – and Seeing Yourself through God’s Eyes!)

Wrap up with Jennifer Dukes Lee

Undesired Sacrifices and the Equation for Right Living

September 19, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 30 Comments

Imagine waking up every morning, trudging out to your backyard, and building a fire to offer a burnt sacrifice on a stone altar placed there.

You head back out again later in the day when you choose self over others, and again after that unkind thought, and again after snapping at a loved one. In and out of the house, offering sacrifices for sins committed throughout the day – it’s an exercise in futility.

Today we would call such behavior crazy, wouldn’t we?

Of course we would because we no longer offer burnt sacrifices like the Israelites did in the Old Testament …or do we?

Earlier this week, I read these words:

Every priest stands daily ministering and offering time after time the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins; Heb. 10:11

“Daily,” the priests stood at their posts; “time after time” they offered the “same” sacrifices for the same sins. Such repetition calls attention to the never-ending nature of their tasks.

The Bible Knowledge Commentary explains that at the time the letter to the Hebrews was written, the Jewish Christians continued to offer sacrifices at the temple.

For those who believed in Christ and His resurrection, such offerings should have been rendered meaningless by His atonement as the final sacrifice.

So, why were they still trudging back and forth to the altar of sacrifice, so to speak?

They knew of the gospel, the good news that abolished the old system and established a new covenant built on the cornerstone of Grace, but they struggled to let go of their old ways.

At first glance, I was tempted to think, how silly of them – they’re doing so much work and it’s all meaningless!

But lately the Lord has been opening my eyes to an alarming truth: I sometimes offer my own daily sacrifices, often without even realizing it.

Just think about it for a moment.

**This post has a new home. Click here to read the rest!

While Sea Billows Roll: Waiting on the Lord

September 13, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 32 Comments

It’s more than a bad hair day and more than spilled milk. It’s one of “those” days, the ones you really do weep over, when wave after wave of some trial (new or old) sweeps over you as you struggle just to keep your head above water.

And just as you gain your feet, another waves swells up before you. In the midst of such trials, we can do little else than cry out for mercy, for deliverance.

Sometimes “those” days last longer than just a day or two, or even a week. Sometimes, we experience whole seasons of “those” days, whole seasons of trial, and illness, and heartache. Whole seasons of waiting on the Lord.

If you read regularly here, you know our family has been in the midst of such a season for a while now. I’ve been wanting to share with you all some of my “discussions” with the Lord about this spot He has us in, but I’ve honestly been confused about the message He’s trying to give me.

I don’t want to wallow in self-pity, but I do want to allow myself the grace to rest and recover when needed. I want to keep using those Grace-colored glasses He’s been teaching me about.

You see, it’s not just the practical and physical difficulties of a trial that make life on one of those days oh-so-difficult, but it’s the emotions that come along for the ride, too. I’m frustrated by the condition of my physical body and even by the condition of my fragile emotions. I’m feeling guilty that I cannot do the things I normally do, nor fill the roles I normally fill – mom, wife, friend, leader.

What I really wanted to give you was a how-to post: how to survive when Mom can’t be mom, but this is what came out instead…

How to Survive While You Are Waiting on the Lord

I do have a few ideas about that one, a few tips the Lord has been helping me with.

1. For instance, He’s been telling me to lower my expectations.

So what if the twins watch an extra hour of cartoons? So what if beds go unmade and the soccer shirts aren’t clean on game day? If at the of the day, we’re all fed and alive, then we’re surviving!

2. What about Teamwork – be a team with your spouse? Yes, that’s a good tip, too.

When I feel overwhelmed by circumstances in life, I often fight against my husband instead of with him. In return, I reap the added burden of marital strife to an already trying situation. So, teamwork is good, blaming my husband for my own limitations and frustrations is bad. Okay, I got that. 🙂

3. Resist Satan’s Lies – tip number three.

Of course, I know that in spite of my guilty feelings, I’m doing the best I can and that’s enough for the Lord. Of course I know that He promises to be my Deliverer.

But sometimes I just don’t want to wait for deliverance. I’d rather try to fix it myself, right?

Are you with me here?

4. Lean on the Lord for both physical and emotional strength. That’s another good one, right?

Chin up, soldier because God is on your side. If God is for us, who can be against us? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And all of the other platitudes we like to sprinkle about when someone is suffering a trial.

The Problem with Christian Platitudes for Those Who Are Waiting on the Lord

These statements and verses are all true – they really are -but sometimes they do little to comfort the weary soul.

Sometimes… instead of lifting us up, those verses and sayings make us feel like crummy Christians.

Because if I’m not “counting it all joy” every single day of this trial, then I’m once again failing somehow, am I not?

And what about “count your blessings,” which goes right along with “think of those less fortunate”? You know some days that really works for me. Most of the time, I can see all of the good things around me that the Lord has blessed me with. I can find the silver linings. I know that my temporary suffering pales in the face of what others have gone through before me, namely Jesus.

But other days I can count my blessings, think of others, and still feel frail. Some days I know I’m not clinging to joy, I’m not embracing peace, because I have no strength left to do so!

So while I sit and think on all of these good things I feel I should be doing to try to help myself in this season of trial, the waves grow all the stronger and more ominous around me.

Crashing, crashing, always crashing, this storm in my soul.

I feel like Jacob, wrestling with the Lord, and I wonder, what’s wrong with me?

Why can I not seem to overcome? Am I not obedient enough? Not trusting enough? Not hopeful enough? Have I sinned in some way I’m not aware of?

A Changed Perspective on Waiting on the Lord

Then, I read this post here about not having a formula for success in the midst of trial but just “hanging on for dear life” and this post here about resting in the mud, in the mess of it, because He’s willing to sit right there with us. I began to wonder if I was seeing it all wrong, if I was trying to earn favor rather than be willing to receive favor.

I’m beginning to hear a new song from the Lord, a refrain of comfort to my weary soul. His song tells of a Shelter in the storm, strength found less in doing and more in waiting, a peace gained not from a change in circumstance but from His very presence.

In my devotion time this week I feasted on these lines that seemed to be meant just for me:

“We must learn to wait on the Lord and look for His return…. As you wait on Him, you will discover that this attitude renews your spiritual strength, clears your perspective, and reduces your giant-sized problems to manageable size. Let David’s words become your marching orders: ‘Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.’” [Excerpt from Joy of Living Bible Studies: Hebrews, pg. 102]

What I Learned from Studying the Word “Wait”

In the original language, this word wait is qavah (pronounced kaw-vaw’) and is a verb meaning to look for, to wait for, to hope for. I found it even more interesting that the original meaning was one of binding together by twisting, as in a rope. (And here I am, dangling at the end of mine.)

I found that this verb is very active, not an idle sitting by the wayside, but an expectant waiting. We are to actively be on the “look out” for the Lord to work on our behalf. While we wait, qavah, we are also to be strong.

The phrase “be strong” from the Hebrew word chazaq (prounounced khaw-zak’) is also a verb. In essence, this chazaq is an also act, something done rather than a state of being. It was used numerous times in the Old Testament to describe a scene of supernatural strength: David vs. Goliath, Samson’s final act, Joshua’s entrance into the Promised Land. [NASB, Hebrew-Greek Keyword Study Bible]

So this being strong is an act that comes not from any natural or human means, but only from the Lord. Thus, it’s impossible for us to “be strong” in the chazaq sense on our own.

So, how does that look, practically speaking? I mean, how can I wait and be strong without striving and stressing?

I can be quick to meet Satan’s lies with truth from the Word. I can earnestly seek moments of joy in a day full of trials. I can watch to find His hand already at work in the situation and trust that it’s happening even if I can’t yet see it. I can speak words of hope.

I can earnestly seek moments of joy in a day full of trials. I can watch to find His hand already at work in the situation and trust that it’s happening even if I can’t yet see it. I can speak words of hope.

I can watch to find His hand already at work in the situation and trust that it’s happening even if I can’t yet see it. I can speak words of hope.

I can speak words of hope.

The Only Source of Strength While Waiting on the Lord

But it’s more than that, isn’t it? Because some days I don’t have it in me.

That’s the key right there – it’s not in me to wait and be strong. What is naturally in me is to despair, to cry “Mercy, Father, it’s too much!”

And maybe sometimes that’s just the best place to be: at the Father’s feet, completely undone, utterly dependent on Him alone. No strength of our own left. Completely at His mercy. Humbled and low-down. At the end of the proverbial rope.

I’ll be honest, that’s a really hard place to sit in.

I much prefer to jump up and busy myself doing something because at least then I feel useful. But what if that’s not what He desires? What if what He most desires is to hear me admit, I can’t do it, Father – I’m not capable – I need help?

I think the most difficult aspect of learning to walk a road of suffering is understanding when to “be still” and when to “soldier on.”

I still don’t have it figured out. I seem to pendulum swing between the two, trying to find that balance.

Some days I’m all “onward Christian soldiers” and others I’m moaning about like an Israelite, lost in the desert. 🙂

It’s all part of His work in progress in me.

So this is the heart of my struggle, really: what is it you require of me, Lord?

Here’s how I believe He’s answering me:

Daughter of mine, wait for Me. Listen for My voice. When it’s time to get up and walk, I will tell you. And when it’s time for you to sit and take rest at my feet, I will tell you. And when it’s time for me to carry you because you have absolutely nothing left to give, then I will carry you. Stop trying so hard and just rest in my embrace. No squirming now, not yet. Sit. Relax. Cry if you need to. Confess if you need to. Question if you need to. I’m big enough to handle all of that and more. Just let Me hold you because that’s all I really want. You, beloved daughter. I want you. Take heart; rescue WILL come, for I am the Faithful One, God of all Hope and Comfort. But for now, just wait.

Because the truth is that our Father God loves with a perfect love, so much more perfect than ours, and our best comfort is found in waiting on the Lord!

Which one of us mothers would look at wounded, heartbroken child and chide her for her tears? I’m not talking about tantrum tears or even repentance tears, but tears of helplessness and hurt. Does their sorrow not bring forth our very compassion?

And which one of us mothers would fail to come rushing to the aid of a child calling urgently for help? Which one of us would refuse to comfort and console? Which of us would leave that child to struggle alone?

We would not.

We cannot because our love compels us to respond. If this is the way we imperfect humans feel about our children, how much more so does our Father God have compassion for us, His beloved, chosen ones?

With that perspective, those crashing waves don’t seem so ominous anymore. They still knock me down from time to time, but maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly where I need to be.

Perhaps those waves of trial aren’t reaching up at my waist in order to suck me under and drown me, but to push me to a better shore. If I would just quit fighting them, give in, and ride the momentum, I’d find myself safely on the other side.

And there I can find the rest my soul is so desperate for.

My sister in Christ, if you’re struggling in the surf of suffering today, take heart.

You are not alone. Rescue is near. He welcomes you into His embrace and asks that you just sit a while.

Listen for His voice.

And keep waiting on the Lord.

Jen 🙂

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy:

http://sarahjofairchild.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/just-one-of-those-days-again/

I’ll also be linking up at any of these places.

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

My Everyday Worship

August 30, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 22 Comments

Everyday Worship…

It’s not about church or silence or lengthy prayer or even calm quiet with Him.

It’s about living and loving and serving amidst othe chaos of snotty noses and dirty dishes and kids who just can’t seem to get along.

My everyday worship looks more like…

Doing dishes with a song in my heart, or teaching my preschoolers about patience.

Folding laundry even though my eyes are sleepy, or listening to a kid-story that I’ve already heard a few times too many.

Looking up from my work and into their eyes.

Stopping to hug my husband even if I’m in the middle of something.

All this and more makes up my everyday worship.

It’s counting my blessings in the midst of real pain or confusion or doubt because the blessings are many.

It’s choosing to be purposeful in my parenting but still at peace.

It’s dancing in the car with the Christian radio station turned up. Little hands waving in the air to the beat and grins plastered on their faces.

It’s feeling the sting of conviction when that small voice asks, “Are you happy, Mommy?” when she knows I am not. And choosing to let go and embrace real joy.

It’s planning family fun night even when I’d rather just relax.

It’s the heart-swell of awe and thankfulness that comes from seeing something truly beautiful, be it a mountain or the ocean or a sunset, or a preschooler’s delight over a firefly captured in her hand.

My everyday worship.

It doesn’t just happen at church, folks.

Jen 🙂

I learned so much about worship and living out my purpose in everyday faithfulness in the seemingly small things from this book by Rick Warren (affiliate link):

Firsts Lead to Lasts

August 23, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Due to my recent injury at Buttkill Falls, I’ve had extra time to ponder life, and when that happens, I tend to get a bit nostalgic. 🙂 Maybe it’s because I’m currently medicated, or maybe it’s because I’m missing out on some family life lately. For whatever reason, when I’m separated from my people, I tend to think about them more. I miss them. I appreciate them.

I miss them. I appreciate them.

I appreciate them.

As I’m resting and pondering, and thinking about how quickly the first day of school came this year, I realize that we’re about to enter a new season of life as parents. We have just one more year left with littles at home, and one year before our oldest enters high school. For thirteen years now, I’ve been a mostly stay-at-home mom, but what will I do when all of these firsts lead to lasts?

First smiles and first steps.

First days of school and first solo bike rides.

First baby food and first big kid beds.

First instruments and first crushes.

So many firsts that we’ve been blessed with.

But these firsts lead to lasts, and what will a born-to-be-a-mama girl do when all of her children are at school for the day? It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

Last days of kindergarten and last days of twin high chairs.

Last days of baby clothes and last days of soccer on Saturdays.

Last days of sweet toddler cheeks and last days of bedtime stories.

The truth is, the lasts stink. I know I’ll miss them. But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts. Firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts – firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

And while my children are enjoying a whole new world of lasts followed by firsts, I’ll be opening up to a whole new world of firsts, too.

In the meantime, I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday again! We gather together over at Lisa-Jo’s blog and free-write for five minutes on a single word prompt. No planning, no editing, just writing. It’s glorious freedom! If you want to know more, join us at: http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/

Spirit-propelled Life

August 19, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 Leave a Comment

Good morning, friends! 🙂 Today I’m honored to be guest posting over at Encourage 24/7, a website all about encouraging Christians in their walks with the Lord.

Do you ever feel like you push and pull your way through a long day? Are you sometimes overwhelmed and ready to give up by 10 am? Do you ever long for something more, something better?

If so, this post is for you! Come on over and join us at Encourage 24/7 to find out what I learned from my Kirby vacuum. 🙂 Be sure to check out the Testimony Posts tab, too, for more encouragement from other bloggers. Just click on the link below to find the post.

Lessons from a Kirby

Why Families Should Play Games

August 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 31 Comments

We love games! Perhaps this love of game-playing stems from my MK (missionary kid) roots – no tv, no electricity, but we did have board games! Perhaps the love for games also comes from many years of working with youth groups. Perhaps the teacher in me just loves being able to engage young brains in learning activities that are fun and entertaining for the whole family.

I’m sure all of those reasons come into play in one way or another. Over the years family game night has been something we all look forward to, and I think more families could benefit from it as well! Even those who don’t have their own families can enjoy similar benefits by playing games with those they have relationships with (friends, neighbors, other relatives, church family).

Quality family time. We play games together and laugh together. Sometimes, we even get mad at each other. 🙂 Often family game time results in more than just playing a game to win. While we play, we relate to one another and focus in on one another. Playing games together leads to a lot of good conversation and sometimes even leads to family jokes that last well beyond game time. Years later, whenever I hear certain phrases, like “rooooo-aaaaaaddd,” I’m instantly taken back to some awesome family memories. Some games have even become part of our family identity (Settlers of Catan, for example, is simply known as “The Game” in our household). Why not build game-play into your family identity?
Media-free entertainment. Yes, I’m one of “those” moms. Even before our children were born, I knew I didn’t want them to spend a lot of time in front of the tv. My husband and I have compromised by allowing tv, but with time limits. So, we try to find other ways to encourage our children to entertain themselves when they are bored. On rainy days, wintery days, or long summer days of boredom, why not break out a board game or card game?
Frugal entertainment. Other than the initial cost of a game, and perhaps some snack food, you can entertain a whole house full of people for very little. In fact, we’ve entertained guests with games that you don’t even have to pay for, such as Mafia (a story-telling, role-playing, whodunnit? type of game). Family Fun nights are often game nights when the budget doesn’t allow for taking out a family of six. Also, My husband and I even have mini-dates at home on occasion when the kiddos are sleeping by playing Battleship or other two-player games.
Learning new skills. Playing games is not only entertaining, but it can also teach your children new skills, such as counting, matching, planning, developing strategy, problem-solving, and more. The bonus? It’s so much fun, your children won’t even realize they are learning. 🙂
Learning sportsmanship. Children have to learn how to be good sports, whether they are winning or losing. We have one child in particular who is extremely competitive and really struggles with emotions in general. What a perfect opportunity to model good sportsmanship for him and his siblings during family game night. Additionally, playing together as a family gives children multiple opportunities to make mistakes and grow in the safety and comfort of their own home.
Learning about others. Whether with family or friends, playing games with others is a great way to get to know them better! When people are relaxed, they are more open and honest about who they really are as people. One thing our guests are sure to learn about us when playing games is that some of us are more than just a little competitive and that we all like to laugh! I especially enjoy playing games with my husband. It brings out the silly side in each of us and gives us an opportunity to tease each other, much like the flirting of our early dating relationship. Game playing fosters a feeling of friendship between us that is important for two busy parents who sometimes end up feeling more like business partners than soul mates. 🙂

I’m certain there are other reasons for playing games together, as well, but these are our favorites. I’m happy to know that my children enjoy playing board games just as much as they enjoy playing video games. Although, I have to also admit that on occasion, family game night does revolve around the wii (Mario Kart, anyone?). 🙂 The main idea is just to take time to play together. It’s an investment in your relationships that will multiply endlessly. As our children grow older, we enjoy family game time more and more!

Be sure to check out Our Big List of Favorite Games for ideas on great games for the whole family. The list is even organized by age and group size!

The family that plays together stays together…..or something like that, right? I’m putting family game night on the schedule for this week or next.

Will you join me?

Jen 🙂

How does your family enjoy games? What are your favorites?