Write.
Writing has been necessary for me from a very young age. In the early years I wrote for creativity’s sake. I reveled in developing stories for my pleasure alone, not worrying what anyone else thought. Even as I grew older, school writing assignments brought a smile to my face while the rest of my classmates groaned.
As a teen, my writing became more introverted – the good old diary was my space of choice. I could say whatever I wanted to whomever I wanted without being afraid of rejection or repercussion.
But at some point in time, we had to start sharing our writing with “peers” in class and suddenly, writing became a little more scary.
I wrote less and less until almost not at all unless it was for a school assignment.
And then marriage, and then babies…
Although hidden, the urge to write remained and burst forth in occasional poems, encouraging notes, or impassioned letters to the editor. I might take that desire out for a bit, dust it off, and admire it, yet put it back in the box neatly where it was safe.
Safe.
Because the thing about writing is that it’s sort of a portal to the soul, whether you want it to be or not. A lie detector test. A forced honesty of character and feeling.
And sometimes I don’t want to be that open with the world. I fear my words might not be good enough, my ideas not great enough, that I’M not enough.
I fear my failings as a work-in-progress woman. I fear others might see the real me. Because as our friend, Lisa-Jo Baker said, control is an illusion, and writing out truths here in this small space breaks that illusion apart bit by bit.
There’s fear in the writing, and sometimes pain in the writing, but also joy, and wonder, and beauty, and peace, and understanding.
Isn’t that the way it is with all things in life? 🙂
I wonder if the psalmist David faced such fears, or if he just wrote because he had to, because it was in him?
Imagine if he had never penned his agonies or his alternating ecstasies. Imagine if he thought no one would to ever read the words or sing the melodies, so why create them in the first place? Or worse yet, some might read them and scoff, so why bother?
We must write because our Father God has called us to be truth-tellers and truth-spreaders. We must write because it. is. in us!
We must write.
We must write because the writing forces honesty, and how can we grow, how can we progress, friends, if we languish in the illusion that is not?
So, we put on a brave face and just write.
We write happy words and sad words.
We write in victory and also in defeat.
We write hardships and pain and laughter and delight.
We write, “Me, too.”
And we trust Him to do the rest.
Jen 🙂
I’m joining the Five Minute Friday crew again this week over at Lisa-Jo Baker’s place. We free-write for 5 Minutes on a one-word prompt. It’s scary; it’s fun; it’s crazy. And so often, it’s oh-so-beautiful. Join us if you like! (Note: this post has since been edited slightly, so it’s not a true five-minute Friday, but close!)
Also sharing with: Wholehearted Home
Yes! Just write. I’ve been finding this more and more. It is how I’m made too. Thanks for sharing fmf friend 🙂
So glad you stopped by!
Jen 🙂
Yes, if only I would just give in and do it more often! 🙂
” I fear others might see the real me.” So true! Me too!
I fear others might see the real me.
Ah, that’s the challenge of writing “real” isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by!
Jen 🙂
Yes Jen, we write real and trust Him to do the rest!!! Great post!!! Thank you for sharing your heart!!!! Blessings xxx
LOL – control is an illusion in my household:) But, like you, when I was young, I had to write – as I got older – it was, “What am I to write” – and then giving it to God – and He gives us the story to write!! So glad you are writing here in the blogahood!
So true – giving it to God makes the difference! 🙂 Thanks for sending a bit of encouragement my way.
Jen 🙂
Such lovely words that resound deep within me. Thank you for sharing them.
Thanks so much, Emily!
Jen 🙂
“we write real.” I love that! THANK YOU.
I think it’s important, yes? 🙂 It’s so tempting to make it sound better than it really is, but those masks we like to wear don’t really help anyone. Thanks for stopping by!
Jen 🙂
I hopped over Teaching What is Good, and I’m so glad I did. This was such an encouragement! Thank you!
Thanks, Jenni – you bring encouragement to me, as well! Hope to see you here again soon.
Jen 🙂
Oh. My. Goodness! You just put into words why I’m freaking out this week! I’ve been blogging a while now, but just this week my blog went public…meaning not just my family and close friends are reading, but my church people are reading, too. My CHURCH PEOPLE read my blog about being a PASTOR’S WIFE! I didn’t write anything offensive or mean or extra revealing…yet I’ve still been very worried about it. But when you said that writing is a sort of portal into the soul- it all fell into place. Thank you for pinpointing my fear and then pointing me to God’s promise~ you’ve reminded me that I have no need to fear. THANK YOU!
Thanks for your encouragement, Jen. So often, when I sit down to write a devotional, I fear that I won’t make sense or be understood, that no one will relate to what I have to say. Thanks for inspiring us to be “truth-tellers and truth-spreaders.”
Me, too, Alicia, and I know so many others who experience those same fears from time to time. That fear can become paralyzing if we allow it to. That’s why truth is so very important. Thanks for stopping by here!
Jen 🙂
Very encouraging. We most definitely need to write and talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, His Eternal Word and how it changes lives. Have a great day in the Lord!
Mikey
Oh wow! I feel like me stumbling upon your blog was by divine intervention. I needed to read this! I look forward to encouraging you as you fulfill your calling. Know this, you are not alone. I can’t wait to check out your blog some more! Lots of love 🙂
Love this, Jen! I also find it scary to write! Thankfully, it’s getting a little less scary as time goes on. At least I’m not waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat like I did when I first started my blog four years ago. 🙂
I have been struggling with this a bit and even more recently. There is a tension I find between really wearing your heart on your sleeve and keeping your privacy and boundaries, sharing what God wants you too and also being real as a relatable human being etc. It takes courage, patience, more courage, stumbling and and still more courage and so we go we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength and leads us by His Holy Spirit!
Yes, it really is a tricky road to walk, isn’t it? But God is in control! Thanks for stopping by!
Jen 🙂
Yes, He is! Hallelujah!
You are so welcome!
Thanks for letting the Lord work through you! 🙂
~ Sybella