jstults, Author at Being Confident Of This

A Light to the Darkness

March 21, 2016 by jstults 1 Comment

I arrived in the darkness, just like every other winter Sunday night. The drive was so familiar – I’ve made the trip for many years of my life. There was no reason to expect anything new or different – none whatsoever.

I think that may be one of the things I appreciate most about God – that when He makes changes in our lives, old things – ones we’ve seen numerous times – can seem brand new!

I sat in the parking lot at the church waiting for my son to be done at youth group. The evening was completely dark except for a few lights inside the church.

Light drives out darkness – whether it’s a small candle flickering or a bright spotlight directing our focus. And we’re attracted to the light – we’re drawn to it in order to see through the darkness.

That night was not the first night I noticed the steeple light, but it was the first night I noticed the direction of the light.

The parking lot is on the opposite side of the church than the road. As I sat there, all I could see was the one light that shines in the steeple tower.

It reminded me of the house light that we put on when we’re waiting for a family member to come home.

Family knows where home is, and they know the light will be on waiting for them. They know how to get there and they don’t need anything other than the light to welcome them home. Wherever they go, they know that the porch light will be on, welcoming them.

Around the other side of the church, the side of the church that faces the road,
there is a bright spotlight that shines on the steeple.

There are many who travel through life, lost and unsure of where they are headed, or how to get there.

It is for those – the lost, the weary, the discouraged – that we need to give adequate directions. We need to be a light to the lost world.

And it’s for those that the church shines the spotlight on the steeple – pointing the world to the cross.

This Sunday, Easter, many of us will go to church as we usually do. We will gather with family and friends at our familiar place of worship. It’s our job to hear what God is saying to us, to take to heart what we are being taught.

Why?

Because there’s a whole world out there who needs to hear what we have to say. They need to know the way to come home. They need us to be the light that points them to the cross.

They need to know that Jesus came for our redemption, that He died, was buried and rose again on the third day. (Luke chapters 23 and 24)

That’s not the end of the story, though.

One day, He is coming back. That’s the hope of the story. That’s the reason for the light that shines onto the side of the steeple that faces the road. That’s the reason for us to share God’s Word, the story of Easter, with our friends and family.

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day
from Casting Crowns’ song “Glorious Day“

Happy Easter! May God bless you and your family as you celebrate the resurrection of our Savior!

Rebekah has been completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of the Lord in her life. He has proven His faithfulness in every area of her life, especially in her marriage. She has come to understand the power of redemption and God’s work in her own marriage. Her goal is to be Sharing Redemption’s Stories – encouraging wives who are praying for redemption in their marriage.

The One Time You Want to Be a Fool

March 14, 2016 by jstults 10 Comments

I have a little confession to make: I am afraid to fail, to look a fool.

Recently I realized I’ve been afraid to get excited about our church plant opening in less than two weeks. Yes, me, a church planter’s wife. Afraid.

It all sounded so exciting back in the beginning and even leading up to the planning for our opening Sunday. But as the time draws nearer, I feel that familiar fear creeping up on me. What if we fail?

You know that fear, don’t you, friend?

Often we fear to take important steps forward in God’s plan for our lives because we might end up looking foolish if things don’t work out the way we think they will.

So we remain paralyzed, stuck.

I believe it’s the enemy’s favorite tactic when God’s people set out to serve and obey Him. If he can overwhelm us with fear, then maybe we’ll freeze in place or start stepping backwards instead of forwards. Maybe we’ll even turn around, tuck tail, and run like Jonah in the opposite direction.

Maybe we won’t want to be fools for Christ.

But what the enemy doesn’t want you to know is that no effort is wasted when it is done in the name of the Lord. There is no such thing as failure in God’s economy when we walk forward in obedience!

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Gal. 6:9 NASB

Consider these biblical “fools for Christ”:

Abraham sacrificed security and uprooted his entire family with no final destination in mind, then became the father of nations.

While building the ark, Noah preached for 100 years with zero converts, but his family was saved.

Daniel spent the night in the lions’ den, risking death rather than giving up prayer and changed the law of the land. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walked into a fiery furnace rather than bow to an idol and influenced the heart of the King of Babylon.

Mary faced a world of scorn for the miraculous conception of the child within her, yet she gave birth to the Son of God.

And consider Jesus, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who had every right to strike his enemies dead rather than suffer on the cross for us. Even as he strained for breath, those around him taunted:

And the people stood by, looking on. And even the rulers were sneering at Him, saying, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if this is the Christ of God, His Chosen One.” Luke 23:35 NASB

If Christ Himself was willing to look the fool for laying down His own life, why are we so hesitant to do so when laying down ours?

Why am I afraid to look a fool for the sake of His call?

Pride.

My own stinkin’ pride.

I’m learning that I’ve got to get over that silly pride issue if I want to be an effective servant of the Lord. And you need to, also, friend.

This quote from recently departed Justice Scalia really speaks to me:

“God assumed from the beginning that the wise of the world would view Christians as fools … and he has not been disappointed. … If I have brought any message today, it is this: Have the courage to have your wisdom regarded as stupidity. Be fools for Christ. And have the courage to suffer the contempt of the sophisticated world.”

Pride is the enemy of Courage.

If we want to be courageous, we must be willing to put our pride at risk, yes?

Listen, friends, maybe we can’t all have the influence of men like Abraham or Justice Scalia, or women like Mary, but we can all be everyday fools for Christ.

We can be fools for Christ by…

choosing forgiveness when the world would hold onto anger
raising children God’s way even if those around us scoff
remaining in a wounded marriage when friends advise divorce
sacrificing time to live on mission right where we are
following Christ into ministry even though we feel inadequate
packing up and moving when He says to go
writing when God says write or speaking when led to speak even if we’ve never done it before

We can be fools for Christ in a million other ways by simply following Him moment by moment, day by day.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Jim Elliot

We can leave jobs, and homes, and families, and possessions, all for the sake of Christ and count it as gain! We can look naysayers in the eye and say with confidence, “I aim to follow the Lord – that’s the best I can do.”

“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ…” Phil. 3:7-8 NASB

Don’t be afraid to lay down your life like a fool no matter what anyone else has to say about it because the rewards are both now and for eternity.

What is it that the Lord wants you to do for Him?

Will you follow no matter the cost?

Be fools for Christ!

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell It To Me Tuesdays, Wholehearted Wednesdays, A Little R & R Wednesdays, Grace and Truth

12 Verses for Easter Meditations

March 7, 2016 by jstults 6 Comments

Each year I see them peeking through the lingering snow – the red buds on the large tree outside my window – and I know Spring is near. Not long after, the robins return to our backyard with their morning chirping, and soon the green tips of our tulips will push through the water-logged ground.

Spring equals new life here in the Midwest. And each year it seems as though Spring prepares the way for Easter Sunday, the celebration of a living Savior who came to bring us new life!

Yes, the free gift of salvation is well-celebrated during Lent and the Easter season, but how often do we forget the joy of our salvation in the busyness and mundane moments of everyday life? I know I’m guilty. It’s easy to forget the miracle and power of our spiritual rebirth, isn’t it?

If we can’t be excited about our own faith, about God’s free gift that none of us deserve, then how can we expect others to be interested in it?

With those thoughts in mind, I’ve collected a dozen verses for Easter meditations.

12 Verses for Easter Meditations

Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” John 4:13

I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” John 6:51

… I’m sharing the rest of these verses for Easter meditations over at my friend’s blog, Sharing Redemption’s Stories. Click the link or the image below to join us at her place!

How to Overcome the “For Worse” of Your Marriage Vows

February 23, 2016 by jstults 3 Comments

It’s funny how just a few small words can really change our perspective. No doubt when you took your wedding vows, you were so eager for the “for better” of marriage. Me, too! That’s not the only thing I vowed, though. That phrase had 3 more words at the end of it – ones that we often overlook. So what happens when you feel like you’re stuck in the “or for worse” phase of marriage?

Please note: I do know that there are times when it’s not safe to stay in your marriage.
This post is written from the perspective of being within a safe marriage.
If you are struggling and not in a safe situation, please do get help.

PRAY
Okay, this seems obvious, but let’s be realistic – so often, we forget about the most basic things when we’re stuck or trying to fix something.

What can you pray for? This list is certainly not all-inclusive, but here are a few suggestions:

Your husband – God knows the struggles he is facing, and He knows any areas that need work. Trust Him to work in your husband’s heart. (I can promise you with great certainty that the way God works will look completely different than the way you might have “fixed” the problem. TRUST GOD!)
Yourself – During this time, you’re going to need to pray for yourself, even if you don’t normally. You’re going to need God to work in and through you, to give you peace, rest and hope.
Your family – If there are children or extended family members involved in your life, pray for them. Ask God to provide for what they need as they go through this time.
Your situation – God knows the specifics of what is going on, of what brought you to this place. It’s so good to know that we can trust our future to God, no matter where we are, or where we hope to get!

God knows all the details of our lives – the good things and even the ugly parts – so I appreciate going to Him to pour out my heart.

God and I have had some intense heart-to-heart conversations as I’ve struggled through the “for worse” parts of my marriage vows.

TRUST
I don’t know your situation, but I do know my own. When everything came undone, there were a million and one opportunities for trusting God. I had to trust God for everything from basic necessities to keeping a roof over my head and keeping my family together.

The hard thing about trust is that, in our humanness, we desperately want the answer we want, at the time we want it. In other words, every night I went to bed without a resolution to the problem was an opportunity for fear…or faith.

It turns out that there truly is only room for one of those – fear or faith.

I cannot promise you that there’s hope for your marriage, but I can – and do – promise you that God will be faithful to meet your needs and to make your heart whole.

WORK
In my own life, when things began to go badly, I needed to get a job. I needed income. You may not be in that situation, but we all have work that we can be doing.

Ask God to make you a blessing. He may choose to do that within your home, or He may choose to do that in various ways with friends, neighbors, even strangers. If you ask God to give you a way to be a blessing to someone, He is going to do it. Personally, I like this because it gave me an opportunity to take my mind off my marriage and focus on a way to benefit someone else.

Work isn’t just a physical act, though. Work is a spiritual act. We’re in a battle, whether our marriage is in the “for better” or “for worse” category. The enemy doesn’t want us honoring God within our marriage, so he’s happy when we’re struggling. He’s thrilled when we’re ready to throw in the towel.

If you’re truly going to work to stick it out in your marriage, then you’re going to need to do some spiritual work. Each day you’ll need to prepare for battle – like you never have before. A wife has a quiet strength that the enemy knows he can’t discount. Sisters, if each of us committed to truly working through the “for worse” parts of our marriages, think of the progress we could make for the kingdom of Heaven!

* * * * *

Friends, I know that often it isn’t completely our fault that our marriage is struggling. Believe me, if you were to look at my situation, it would be very safe to say that everything that has gone wrong is completely my husband’s fault.

But, I don’t want my story to end there.

I have prayed for redemption within my marriage. I have prayed, trusted and worked, and God has answered by keeping us together and growing stronger in Him.

Working through all that I have, though, also showed me that God has a plan for my life – my own life, separate from my husband’s or my kids’ lives. No matter how things might have turned out, I knew that God had a plan for me.

As women I think we can easily get sidetracked by the many hats we wear. At the end of the day, God needed to remind me that I am His. No matter what hat I wear, I belong to Jesus. And I woke up today because He still has a plan for my life!

Whatever you’re facing, even if you’re stuck in the “or for worse” stage of marriage, remember that God has a plan for you. Pray, trust and seek Him for the work He would have you to do.

When You Don’t Want to Pray for Your Husband

February 16, 2016 by jstults 17 Comments

Sometimes I don’t want to pray for my husband.

There, I said it. And saying it makes me feel all sorts of ugly inside, but it’s the truth.

When I’m angry with my husband, or when we’ve had a disagreement and the emotions that come along with that are still fresh in me, I have little desire to pray for him. In fact, even if I do pray, my prayers are likely to be punitive rather than uplifting.

Lord, smite this man’s heart and convict him of his sin!

Father, make him suffer for what he did to me!

I’m ashamed to even type these words out, much less admit that I’ve prayed them before. Have you been there, friend? Have you been so frustrated with your man that even praying seems beyond what you can handle?

So what should we do when we just don’t want to pray for our husbands?

We pray anyways.

Yes, I know that’s not the answer you or I want, but it’s the answer we need to hear.

Listen, when we sit down in prayer for our husbands, a funny thing happens – our hearts begin to change. In the midst of praying for the Lord to smother my husband with conviction, the Holy Spirit smothers me with conviction. He shows me all of the ways in which my sin is no different from my husband’s sin.

That self-righteous attitude isn’t so easy to uphold when we’re communing with the God of the Universe, is it?

Sometimes I’m tempted to hold back, even while praying, and hide away those sinful thoughts. But our Father sees and knows all. One of the best perks of praying is being able to unleash all of that pent up anger and frustration to the One who loves me anyways.

Like a frustrated, independent toddler who finally gives in to a parent’s offer of help, I find peace in the arms of the One who holds me when I’m hurting.

Praying opens doors I’ve slammed shut in my own heart and brings the necessary change to forgive.

In years past, I sometimes felt so overwhelmed by marital strife that I wasn’t even sure what to pray for. Even in times such as these, the best course of action is to pray anyways.

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings to deep for words…” Rom. 8:26 (NASB)

Praying for my husband even when I’m hurt or angry invites God to step into our marriage and smooth over the rough edges where we grate against each other. It invites Him to heal the wounds and bring redemption.

Praying for my husband doesn’t just change me, but it also changes my man.

After nearly seventeen years of marriage, I’m learning that a well-timed prayer does infinitely more good than any words I have to speak to my husband.

“Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer.” Ps. 4:1 (NASB)

I can ask the Lord to soften my husband’s heart and help him see my point of view. I can ask the Lord to convict my husband of any sin, not out of malice, but out of a desire to see him walk uprightly.

When I obey the Lord and pray anyways, I’m never sorry that I quit fighting long enough to pray. But in those times when I disobey and cling to my right to fight instead, when I don’t pray because I don’t want to pray…. I’m always sorry later.

That’s why I recently decided to take the plunge and commit to Kaylene Yoder’s new course, Becoming a Better Wife. If you’d like to learn more about praying and fasting for your husband and your marriage, I highly recommend this course.

The material is both helpful and convicting, but what I like most about this product is that it comes from the heart of a wife who has been desperate for change. She really gets it.

The course also offers printable material that you can keep handy for quick reference and encouragement – so many bonuses!

I’m especially pleased to be able to offer my readers a ten percent discount on the already affordable price because I believe in the power of prayer to effect change. And I know from experience that having a specific action plan is so very helpful in sticking to that commitment to pray!

So, for those interested in the course, be sure to type in code JS10 to receive your discount!

Please let me know via e-mail or facebook if you take up the Better Wife challenge so that we can encourage one another along the way. 🙂

So the next time you don’t want to pray for your husband, just do it anyways.

Even in the midst of an argument, stop and ask for a time out. Praying is the best possible choice you can make in that moment!

And if your prayers start out a little angry and vengeful, trust the Lord to work the necessary change in your own heart first.

You won’t be sorry.

Jen 🙂

For more information on the Becoming a Better Wife course, click this link. (Disclosure: Jen is an affiliate for the Becoming a Better Wife course and as such will receive a percentage should you choose to purchase through this link. Thank you for helping to support the ministry of Being Confident of This!)

For more marriage encouragement, check out my friend Jenn’s Encouragement for Imperfect Wives series! It has some excellent content from many seasoned wives. 🙂

Sharing with: Messy Marriage, Wholehearted Wednesdays, A Little R & R Wednesdays, Grace and Truth

7 Scriptures for a Steadfast Heart

February 12, 2016 by jstults 8 Comments

Steadfast.

The word brings to mind a calm assurance, an unwavering faith, and unchanging character. Steadfast is a gentle power complimented by humble quietness.

A steadfast woman is a woman at peace.

This is my desire, friends, to be a woman who is steadfast in heart, faithful to Jesus and to her family. I want to be the kind of steadfast woman who is Christ-confident rather than self-confident, who utilizes the gifts He’s given not for her own glory but for His glory.

Steadfast.

Last year the Lord kept bringing to mind the word Persevere, and if you follow along with this blog or the BCOT facebook page, then you know why I needed that word! We’ve been through a season of turmoil and change that still hasn’t quite settled.

Yet in the midst of all the chaos, I’ve found a more confident faith.

I’m not just referring to the recent reminders that Jehovah Jireh provides for all of our needs, but also to the understanding that He directs our paths in ways that don’t always make sense. What I’m learning is to trust His voice rather than letting doubt seep in through cracks chiselled by the questions of others and by my own fears.

So this year, my One Word is steadfast.

That word applies to so many areas of my life in which I wish to remain secure and consistent. So, I’d love to share with you these verses for a steadfast heart.

7 Scriptures for a Steadfast Heart

Steadfast faith

Over these past few years of writing and speaking, my faith journey has taken many unexpected twists and turns. As I continue to grow in Christ, I want a steadfast faith, one that remains consistent no matter what challenges life throws my way.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Ps. 51:10 (NASB)

I want to remain confident in that work-in-progress promise found in Phil. 1:6.

Steadfast Marriage

Faithful readers will already know that my husband and I have faced significant challenges in our marriage. However, the Lord has been faithful to see us through many trials and to help us see the progress along the way. I find that I don’t panic anymore when conflicts come. I’m no longer enslaved by the enemy’s lies that our marriage will never be any different or that we might as well give up trying to change it!

“After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore you and make you strong firm, and steadfast.” 1 Pet. 5:10 (NIV)

Being steadfast in my marriage this year means that I won’t despair during difficult seasons, but I’ll have a calm assurance that we will come out on the other side not only intact but stronger! It also means I’ll keep doing the good work of becoming a wife after God’s own heart.

Steadfast Parenting

Lately, the Lord has been convicting me that we need to keep persevering in our parenting methods even though our children are getting older and more self-sufficient. I want to be a steadfast parent who stays the course rather than one who gives in to laziness. My job is not yet finished! 🙂

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” Gal. 6:9 (NASB)

Steadfast Writing

Being steadfast in the area of writing means I will aim to be more consistent, and that I will obey that still small voice when the Lord prompts me to sit and write.

“This hope we have as an anchor to the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast, and one which enters within the veil…” Heb. 6:19 (NASB)

It also means that I will grow in confidence in the voice He has given me so that I don’t make comparisons or look for outside approval. My heart’s desire is to write for an audience of One.

Steadfast Weight-loss Journey

(Sigh….) Many of you know I’ve been working toward some weight-loss goals since last year. I only got rid of a little over 25 pounds, yet I persevered through injuries, illnesses, schedule changes, and the upheaval of changing ministries this past fall. This progress was only possible through the power of Christ in me!

“My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises!” Ps. 57:7 (NASB)

This year I’m aiming for another 50 pounds gone, an average loss of a pound a week. So, being steadfast in this area means I’ll keep plugging away at healthy eating and exercise while trusting the Lord to take care of the results.

Steadfast Church-planting

Being steadfast as a church-planter means I’ll be secure enough to be a fool for Christ, willing to take risks because my faith is firm and my identity is secure. It means I will keep doing the work the hard work, but I’ll trust Him for the results.

I can also be steadfast by pushing myself beyond my own comfort zone, especially when it comes to evangelism and by trusting the Lord to continue providing for our physical needs.

Steadfast Mind

I want to be like the Proverbs 31 woman who does not fear the future but greets trouble with an unshakable faith (v.25).

“The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.” Isa. 26:3 (NASB)

As this year progresses, I’m excited to see how the Lord continues to use the word steadfast to teach me.

Will you choose to be steadfast this year?

Jen 🙂

To access your free, high quality printable, simply sign up below and click Subscribe! Then, check your email to confirm your subscription. Once you’ve confirmed, look for a welcome email that will contain the link to the printable.

Print it out, hang it where you will see it often. Or save it to your phone or tablet for easy access. Enjoy!

Sharing with: Tell His Story

Look to Jesus: A Review (and giveaway!)

February 9, 2016 by jstults 2 Comments

If someone asked me if I trust God, I’d most likely answer yes, but I haven’t always trusted God in every circumstance. In fact, during certain trials in my life when I felt I was drowning, trust seemed very hard to come by.

I’m certain I have more lessons in trust ahead of me, too.

That’s why Dawn Klinge’s new book Look to Jesus is so important. My friend Dawn recently shared with us about how trusting Jesus is related to the joy we experience, but her book delves even more deeply into the topic of trust.

Klinge’s suggestion to trust God by looking to Jesus sounds so simple on the surface, maybe too simple. However, Klinge takes the reader on a journey to discover how looking to Jesus through various seasons of life leads to a deepening trust, one not easily shaken.

Along the way, Klinge takes time to explain basic doctrines that even seasoned believers may not fully understand, such as the Trinity. I appreciate that the author lays this groundwork because if we don’t understand God’s character or how He operates, then we don’t really know God, do we?

And if we don’t really know Him, how can we trust Him?

In the first few chapters, Klinge rightly points out that we cannot generate trust on our own. She encourages the reader to understand this truth by using her own life experiences.

“I’ve never needed to literally walk on water. But I have had storms in my life. In some of those storms, I’ve kept my eyes on Jesus and in some, I’ve looked around at my circumstances and started to sink – and I’ve called out to Jesus and he has rescued me. He wants to do the same for you.” ~Dawn Klinge, Look to Jesus (pg. 31)

But my favorite part of the book takes place in Chapter 4, when Klinge gets down to the nnitty-gritty of how we become conformed to the image of Christ, yet she also makes an important distinction between legalism and grace. It’s this grace-filled approach which permeates the book that really resonates with me!

Throughout Look to Jesus, Klinge supports her own words with a wealth of Scripture as well as well-chosen quotes from other authors and famous people from all walks of life. The reader will appreciate how the author weaves all of this knowledge into her own story of learning to trust God.

Out of all of the quotes chosen, however, the Oswald Chamber’s quote on page 58 is my favorite because it falls right in line with the purpose of this blog. The point of our faith journey is the process – the work-in-progress of being remade into His image, moment by moment, day by day.

I always enjoy a reminder of my work-in-progress status! 🙂

Another favorite moment took place in Chapter 6 when Klinge speaks to trusting God when life is hard. I applaud Klinge for being brave enough to tackle this issue by sharing from her own pain. I also agree with the author on her conclusion that pain has a purpose, one we cannot realize if we try to deny the pain of a difficult season of life.

More than that, I respect that Klinge points the reader to the truth that Jesus understands human pain because He endured pain himself! Not only does he understand our pain, He wants to sit with us in the midst of it.

What I admire most about Look to Jesus is that any person who reads through the book will find a clear presentation of the gospel and what it means for us. In the final chapter, Klinge writes:

“Think of the high price God paid for you.

You are precious to Him and it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or how terribly you’ve failed – because it’s not about you. It’s about Christ in you. How could we possibly doubt that God would ever give up on us, ever fail us, when we consider what was done to earn our place in His family.” ~ Dawn Klinge, Look to Jesus (p.95)

What better way to close than to remind us that looking to Jesus, trusting God in every circumstance, is rooted in our identity in Christ. He who paid the price for us will not turn away in our times of need!

Although the tone of this book is more conversational in nature than some readers might be used to, the nuggets of truth throughout make it a good read for anyone.

If you haven’t already read Dawn’s book, I hope you’ll take the time to do so.I have no doubt you’ll find wisdom and encouragement that applies to your life.

And if you’d like a chance to win a free copy of Dawn’s book (PDF version), be sure to enter the giveaway below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You can also visit Dawn at her blog, Above the Waves, where she writes on life and faith.

Because of Him,

Jen 🙂

*A proof copy of this book was kindly provided to me by the author for purposes of review. However, all opinions are my own! Also, this post makes use of affiliate links. For more information on the affiliate links used by this blog, visit Being Confident of This’s homepage.
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Sharing with: Grace and Truth,

Learning to Recognize Progress Can Save Your Marriage

February 8, 2016 by jstults 1 Comment

Believe it or not, the whole fight started over a pile of clean laundry. We had just finished family fun night with our children, an evening of homemade, personalized pizzas and fun games and silly antics. After tucking the kids into bed, we were ready for some relaxation, some time to cuddle in front of our recent Netflix favorite.

But as we entered the bedroom, there it sat – a large pile of clean laundry just waiting to be folded.

I sighed.

I hadn’t meant to leave it there all day, but like most moms, I just got busy meeting all. the. needs. So there it sat, and as I flopped down to fold it, I spotted The Face, you know- the one that means your husband is a little miffed even if he doesn’t say anything.

Instead of following my better judgment and ignoring The Face, I immediately took offense.

Why in the world should he get mad at me – at least having laundry on the bed means that we actually have some clean laundry, which is no small feat after the week I’ve had! He should be happy that I managed to squeeze in a few loads here and there today. It’s not like I’m the only one in this house capable of folding laundry, anyways!

He should be thanking me!

Am I right, ladies?!

Of course, that line of self-righteous thinking led to an ill-timed argument, and what could have been a beautiful end to the day quickly degenerated into angry words and hurt feelings…

To find out how learning to recognize progress can save your marriage, join me over at my friend Becky’s blog for the rest of the story!

Sharing this with: Grace and Truth,

25 Family Fun Days (We Are Fa-mi-ly Series)

February 2, 2016 by jstults 2 Comments

All month long here at Being Confident of This, we’ve been addressing the need for strong families, the kind that stick together for life, the kind that leave legacies for future generations. If you missed the first few articles, I suggest that you check the schedule at the bottom to catch up.

As I mentioned in previous posts, family bonding should happen often and in a variety of ways!

One way that our family creates memories and solidifies bonds is through what we call Family Fun Day, an entire day devoted to quality time together as a family. No joke – the fun must last until bedtime or the most literal-minded of the bunch will call the parents out. 😉

However, if you can’t fit in a whole day of family fun, try starting later in the day and carrying on the family fun until bedtime. Something about going to bed with an emotional tank full of happy makes family fun day stick in the minds of your children.

Here’s some help planning out your family fun days!

25 Ideas for Family Fun Day

Free (or nearly free) options for Family Fun Day:

1. Bonfire and games in the dark

If you don’t have a fire pit, you can build one yourself (make that part of the family fun) or you can buy a portable one. Be sure to have supplies for s’mores on hand and check out my Family Fun pinterest board for some glow in the dark games!

2. Fishing trip

It’s just my opinion that every kid should go fishing at least once in a lifetime. 🙂 But seriously, the quiet togetherness of fishing allows for some great conversation!

3. Family camping

Our kids love to camp! We don’t even have to travel far to do it because they most enjoy the experience of being together day and night, sleeping in tents, and cooking over the fire – simple and inexpensive family fun.

4. Outdoor fun at a State Park

Pack up a picnic lunch or dinner and head to your favorite state park or nature preserve. Choose a few trails to hike or go on a nature scavenger hunt. You can easily spend a day at a large state park!

5. Family Game Night

If family game night is new to you, then you should read about our favorite games (categorized by age and group size) and how to host a game night with other families when you have young ones at home! Our four children ask for family game night again and again – it never gets old for them. 🙂 I love the ideas on this pinterest board for creating a trophy for winners!

6.Winter outdoor fun

Sledding, fort-building, snowball fighting – you catch the drift (hee hee). If your family enjoys competition, then add some challenges to this family fun day – who can create the most unique snow creature or the best snow obstacle course?

7. Active family fun

Bike riding, trail hiking or walking, family sports (soccer, kickball, whiffle ball, etc.) – any of these work for getting your family active together. Be sure to choose something all family members can participate in and enjoy. You can take turns choosing the next activity.

If you happen to be stuck indoors due to the weather, try something from this list!

8. Wii night (0r other gaming system)

Find several multi-player games to challenge each other on, such as Super Mario Bros. (Coin battle or free-f0r-all mode add a fun twist), Mario Kart, Wario Smooth Moves, Super Smash Bros., Wii Sports mini-games, etc. If your family really enjoys competition, draw up a leader board and keep track of points to declare a Family Fun Day Champion!

9. Performance Night

This family fun night may take a little more planning or it may just evolve spontaneously. Most kids love to perform, especially to a captive audience. When Dad and Mom join in on the fun, the night gets even better. Schedule a line-up of group and solo acts – singing, plays, skits, puppet shows, anything that only requires a little creativity and leads to lots of giggles.

10. Beach Day/Swimming

Load up all of the necessities and head to a nearby beach or pool. We usually pack a lunch and plan to spend a good portion of the day enjoying the sun, the sand, and the water. Be sure to build some sandcastles together and play some water games as a family.

11. Lego Challenge

A Lego family fun day is on my list of things to try. If you check out my family fun pinterest board, you’ll find some great ideas for a lego-themed day.

12. Playground Hopping

In the summer, this one’s easy. Pack a picnic and scout out several playgrounds to visit. Perhaps you can even take a day trip to a city with a well-known or unique play area? Playground hop until everyone is worn-out, then return home for family movie night! Inclement weather pops up? No worries! Just find some nearby indoor play places at restaurants or in malls.

Low-cost options for Family Fun Day:

13. Crazy Pinz/Bowling

In a bigger town near us, we have this place called Crazy Pinz, which often hosts family nights or cosmic bowling (gl0w-in-the-dark bowling). But it’s not your average bowling alley. They also have indoor bumper cars, a huge arcade, and something called Ball-O-City – like big playground with these foam balls shooting everywhere!

Look for something similar in your area. Or, if you all enjoy the simple pleasure of bowling a strike, then stick to a regular bowling alley. 🙂

14. Mini Golf

Most mini golf places also house arcades and some even boast of go-karts, climbing walls, and other fun options. Nothing is quite as much fun as seeing one of the family members putt a hole-in-one, though! And little ones make the day even more entertaining with their interesting putting techniques.

15. Laser Tag

Our family loves laser tag, probably because we tend to be slightly competitive. This active family fun day can be both competitive and team-oriented, however, since you usually compete against another group, but still receive individual scoresheets.

16. Paintball

Similar to laser tag except it takes place outdoors (not for young children) and is a little more painful. We have not yet tried this as a family, but would like to!

17. Zoo Day

Large families should pay attention to membership prices because often a single visit for the entire family is close in price to buying a year membership! Pack your own lunch and skip the souvenir shop to save more money!

18. Inflatable Fun

Find an indoor bouncy house attraction. Most of these bouncy attractions offer inflatables for all sizes, so the whole family can enjoy time together.

19. SkyZone

If your family really likes to bounce, check for a trampoline attraction in your area. Most of these offer a block of bounce time on various trampoline attractions – regular trampoline bouncing, trampoline basketball dunk, trampoline dodgeball, trampoline jump into foam pit, and so on.

20. Creation Museum (or another Children’s Museum)

Our four kiddos still talk about the time we went to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY. We spent the entire day learning about God’s wonderful creation, and for our older sons, the experience was a real faith booster. They still retain facts from the displays on Creation and use them to defend their faith. If you have a large family, be aware that food items can be costly, but you can always pack your own!

We also enjoy the Indianapolis Children’s museum that isn’t too far from us. Even our teenage son doesn’t mind going along. This museum (and many others) offers several free days each year, so be sure to check before you make plans to go.

21. Family Olympics

Here’s another idea I found on pinterest for a family fun day that involves lots of fun and games. Choose the games most appropriate for your ages and enjoy some backyard fun as a family!

Plan and save options for Family Fun Day:

22. Day trip to nearby attractions

Think amusement parks, dinner theaters, etc. Look for savings on Groupon or Living Social!

23. Symphony

Not everyone enjoys classical music, but if your children are older and can handle sitting, you might find a themed night they would enjoy – like Star Wars or Disney. Attending the symphony isn’t just good for family fun day, but is also a good cultural experience for kids!

24. Unique Restaurant

A restaurant with themed decor is extra fun for kiddos – think Rainforest Cafe or something similar. Since it’s not a restaurant you would normally go to, the day will automatically have a “special” air to it. Be prepared, however, as these themed restaurants are usually more costly than typical family dining.

25. Any Themed Day

This one doesn’t necessarily need to involve a lot of cost, but does require planning, especially if you need special decorations. Have a pirate day and search for hidden treasure in the backyard (scavenger hunt), or plan a family movie night around a specific theme.

The key is to incorporate as much of the theme as possible to make it a memorable night (pinterest is invaluable for planning these).

Now that you’re armed with a list of ideas, all you need to do is put a day or night on the calendar and stick with it!

Jen 🙂

3 Ways to Build Strong Sibling Bonds (We Are Fa-mi-ly Series)

January 25, 2016 by jstults 4 Comments

This week I’m thrilled to introduce you to my friend Rebekah Hallberg, who is joining us as we continue on with the We Are Fa-mi-ly Series.

Becky and I write about similar areas of Christian Living, including faith, marriage, family, parenting, and so forth. Once a month, I’ll be sharing over at her place, Sharing Redemption’s Stories, and she’ll be sharing here at Being Confident of This.

Be sure to give her a warm welcome by sharing this post around and leaving some encouraging comments! 😉

…………………………………………………

This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland. The massive amounts of snow they predicted arrived overnight and we’re looking at anywhere from 18-30 inches before it’s all over. What I really want to remember from today, though, is that my kids are spending time together – and it is not just because of the snow. With kids at a wide variety of ages, it can be hard to build those strong relationships.

I want to share 3 ways to build healthy sibling relationships. Please understand, I’m certainly not an expert and my kids do not always get along, but I think that these tips are ones we can all agree on and share with our children.

3 Tips for Building Strong Sibling Bonds

1. Prayer

As our family grew, one thing my husband and I have done is to pray for our family – specifically our children and their relationships with one another. We realize that you cannot force people to get along, but prayer invites God to work in ways that we cannot. Unfortunately, prayer has not always been our first resource. We’ve tried taking matters into our own hands many times. I often wonder how much less stress we might have felt if prayer had been our first resource rather than our last resort.

I often wonder how much less stress we might have felt if prayer had been our first resource rather than our last resort.

What we’ve really learned with prayer, though, is that it’s about more than just us praying for our children. The times that have been a big blessing in the kids’ lives have been when they have prayed for each other. There is tremendous power when you genuinely pray for someone else; it makes it difficult to stay upset with them. Praying for each other builds strong sibling bonds.

2. Prepare

This seemed basic to me when I first considered it, but I’ve come to find that it’s an important concept:

Do your kids know the expectation you have for them? Do they know that you want them to try to get along with their brother or sister?

Our kids need to know what’s expected of them. Just as we prepare them to sit quietly in church, or to behave nicely at a restaurant, we need to convey our expectations of their behavior with their siblings. Communication with them won’t guarantee a change of behavior, but it will instill those expectations in their hearts where we can nurture them and hopefully see them take root.

3. Practice

Ok, mamas, this is where it can get real. Real tough. Real dangerous. But maybe even real fun! You’ve prayed for your children and for the relationship among them, you’ve shared your expectation that they get along with one another, and now you need to reinforce that by getting them into situations where they can work on those relationships, those sibling bonds.

Some of the ways we’ve worked on this include games, books, and activities together. I’ll share a few of our favorites which all of our kids have enjoyed, despite a major age gap between the oldest and youngest.

Games:

Sorry! – This is a favorite because young kids can easily play. There’s no money involved, so they don’t feel frustrated with math skills that may not be fully developed yet. It’s simply some reading and some counting (which older siblings can {gladly!} help with), and a little revenge which keeps it interesting for everyone!

Bubble Talk – We heard about this game from my son’s Speech Therapist. It has quickly become a family favorite! We play that one person at a time gets to choose the photo to be captioned. The others choose a card from in their hands which they feel has the “best” caption for the photo. Young kids will likely choose the literal best caption, while older kids choose the card whose caption is best in the ironic sense.

HedBanz – This is similar to 20 questions in that each person takes a card and slides it into a hook on the headband. Then they have to ask questions about the card – is it a food? is it an animal? is it blue? – and try to guess the image on the card based on the answers given. I think we have the most basic edition of this game and we all enjoy it!

Books:

Here are a few of our family’s favorites:

The Narnia Chronicles – We read through the series fairly frequently, and I know the kids have each read these on their own.

Pilgrim’s Progress and Young Pilgrim’s Progress – I’ve enjoyed these books over the years and I’m glad the kids have come to like them as well. There are so many good truths packed into the stories.

Missionary biographies – I love that these books are easy to read, and tell such important stories of faith from many different periods in history.

Activities Together:

Cooking a meal – This one may require some adjustments based on the age of your children. We discuss a family-favorite meal and then each child is responsible for one portion of the meal. The oldest may boil & drain the spaghetti, heat the sauce & meatballs. The middle guy might make the salad and get all of the condiments to the table, and the younger may butter the bread and set the table.

Cleaning out the car – Maybe it’s odd, but my kids enjoy this! One child cleans out the front, another cleans out the back, and one vacuums. If your kids are older they can also wash the windows, wash the car, clean the dashboard, etc.

Do outside chores – in winter, one shovels the driveway, one cleans off cars, and one shovels the sidewalk. In spring, one mows, one moves all the outdoor furniture and one helps to weed the flower bed.

Spending time practicing what is expected of them gives them the opportunity to learn in a safe, nurturing environment. It also allows us, as parents, to point out specifically what we mean when we say, “You need to get along with each other”. Thus, spending time together is essential for building strong sibling bonds!

It’s been a blessing to watch them grow as we’ve worked together to foster their sibling bonds! I hope these ideas, simple as they may be, will spark some ideas for how to foster sibling relationships in your own family!
Rebekah has been completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of the Lord in her life. He has proven His faithfulness in every area of her life, especially in her marriage. She has come to understand the power of redemption and God’s work in people’s lives. Her goal is to be Sharing Redemption’s Stories – spreading the good news of God’s mercy and grace to a world in need.

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