Uncategorized Archives | Page 7 of 8 | Being Confident Of This

Bags of Hope

July 3, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 15 Comments

Today we saw the fruits of months of labor for a new ministry at our church, a ministry called Bags of Hope. These bags will be given out to parents of infants in the NICU at a nearby hospital. The bags contain handmade blankets, bottled water, snacks, quarters, a journal, a new testament, and other encouraging materials. They are meant to bring Hope and comfort to families who truly need it.

This ministry began in the heart of my friend, Kasandra Begley. Kassy (as we call her) gave birth prematurely to a son, Logan, who spent 17 days in the NICU before he passed into the care of our Father God. But that wasn’t the end of the story for Kassy. She could have easily given up there that day, given in to the desire to die within, given in to the numbness that consumes those who are grieving monumental loss.

And perhaps she did, for a time, give up. Goodness knows she still grieves and probably always will, who wouldn’t? But she kept choosing to live, even if sometimes only barely, and she kept seeking something to fill that gap left behind by an infant son.

I met Kassy nearly a year ago when she began to attend our church with her boyfriend. She was very quiet at first, yet friendly. After a time, I asked her if she would like to do a bible study with me, and to my surprise, she agreed! 🙂 We spent quite a few months going through The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus, a chronological approach to the gospel.

I sensed that Kassy yearned for a relationship with our Heavenly Father, but something was standing in the way. At times, I felt she was but a moment away from trusting in Him, only to experience a quick withdrawal. I knew what was bothering her. How could a loving God allow her to become pregnant, live through difficult circumstances, carry a baby, birth a baby, and watch him suffer for seventeen endless days before losing him? How could He?

What does one say to a question like that? I don’t know. I don’t always understand the ways of the Father, but I believe He wants to bring good out of even the most despicable situations. So, that’s what I told her.

We continued to work through our study, right up to the suffering of Jesus, God’s one and only Son, as He willing surrendered His life for our sin.

It was then that Kassy loudly proclaimed, “Me and God have something in common!” I was a little startled and not sure what she meant by the statement. I prodded, “What do you mean?” She excitedly explained that God was showing her that He had lost a Son, too, watched Him suffer physically, be beaten, scorned, and hung on a cross to die a slow and agonizing death. God allowed His Son to die, not only for His Son’s glorification, but also for the good of all mankind.

And suddenly I realized where she was going with it. God knew her pain, felt her loss, understood her life-draining sorrow. He, too, lost a beloved child. The hair on my arm stood on end as I literally felt this truth she was experiencing right before me. It was a moment so powerful and beautiful that every fiber of my being stood at attention. I couldn’t move; I couldn’t speak. The only thing I could do was furiously bat my lashes in an attempt to stem the floodgates. She said, “Oh, man, I just got the chills!” Me, too, Kassy, me, too.

That was the aha! moment for Kassy, the moment she realized God is accessible. He’s not just some faraway deity who metes out punishment when necessary while apathetically ignoring our most desperate pleas. He knows pain is real, wounds are real. He doesn’t turn away from the raw and often ugly emotion that oozes forth from us in our most wretched moments.

No, instead He comforts us with a comfort only He can give, overwhelms us with His very presence, and lavishes love upon us even as we cry out, Why? Why, Father, why?

I imagine Mary Magdalene felt a similar despair when she found her Savior’s tomb empty. The words of the angels were of no comfort to her. The Promised Messiah was dead; what hope was left? She couldn’t even have the satisfaction of caring for his body. In her despair, she turned away. In her despair, she failed to see Jesus before her. In her despair, she questioned.

John 20

11 Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12 and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

15 He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

And then He said her name.

16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

18 Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

When Mary saw it was her Messiah calling her, the questions faded away. All that mattered was Him, standing there before her, Hope in the flesh. She left quickly to spread this comfort that she’d been given.

What it really comes down to is this: do you believe that He loves you? I don’t just mean that you say you believe it, or that you want to believe it, but do you truly believe – heart, soul, mind, and strength? Because if you do, if I do, then we can let go of the whys and embrace the gift, the gift of total, unconditional love and acceptance for those who believe in and call on the name of Jesus. When we look at Him, the author and perfecter of our faith, when we truly see Him, Lord of Lords, Blessed Redeemer, those doubts, those questions, those fears, walls, wounds, and chains…..they all fade away into the background.

So, after my friend Kassy accepted this gift, she began to grow and change. I started to see the real Kassy, the one who isn’t shy or quiet at all, the one who likes to laugh and often threatens others with bodily harm (but she doesn’t really mean it, ….well, most of the time). 😉 One day she approached my husband and I about this idea to crochet baby blankets for infants in the NICU. She wanted to honor the memory of her son by doing something she enjoys, something that brings her peace. She also knew that our twins spent some time in the NICU four years ago when they were born prematurely, so we understood the difficulty and fear many parents experience. She thought the church might want to be involved as well.

After discussing what NICU parents might need during an extended stay, we developed a list of items to give along with the blankets. Eventually we settled on a name – Bags of Hope! And just like that a new ministry was born from the pain of her situation, beauty from ashes, joy from sorrow.

Isn’t He amazing? Isn’t His comfort amazing? It is a comfort that we just can’t contain; we are compelled to share the comfort we have received with others. We are compelled to tell them:

There.

is.

Hope.

There is Healing. There is Joy. There is the Promise of a better tomorrow and a perfect everlasting.

What comfort have you received, my friends? Are you still searching for it? It’s there for the grasping – look to Jesus. He’s waiting for you, calling for you. If you already have comfort, are you passing it along? Our stories, our testimonies are powerful tools in the Father’s hands.

Praise be to God, for His name is Comforter.

Jen 🙂

Would you bless Kassy and Bags of Hope by liking the facebook page and helping us spread the word? Click the graphic below.

5 Ways to Stretch a Budget: Part 2 (the practical bit)

June 25, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Yesterday I shared with you the first half of 5 Ways to S-t-r-e-t-c-h a Budget. If you haven’t read the first half, I encourage you to do so as it contains the foundation of our frugal living. In these tough economic times, it’s hard to find ways to make a small budget work, especially if you have a large family and are living on a single income. These tips should help.

And now, for part 2:

3. Pray for Your Needs and 4. Buy Gently Used

(these two overlap quite a bit)

Appliances – Finding good deals on appliances is admittedly harder than saving money on other items, but it can be done! Our first action is to pray about it. Remember, the Lord promises to provide for our needs. Our favorite money-saving techniques when buying gently used appliances are to look at garage sales, ask friends and family to be on the lookout for us, check craigslist, buy scratch and dent, and so forth.

Vehicles – We have never had a car payment, ever. When we realize that it’s time for a new (to us) vehicle, we start praying! Sensing a theme yet? 🙂 We know we cannot afford a car payment while attempting to pay down student loans, so we ask God to send us a vehicle that will meet our needs as well as our budget. Praise the Lord, He has always provided the vehicles we needed, sometimes even at no cost to us, including the necessary switch to a minivan before the birth of our twins! Then, we are often able to pass on the blessing by giving our old vehicle to someone else in need.

For necessary car repairs, we also pray. My husband does whatever he can himself, but if it’s a major repair, we usually have to ask for help. We’ve been blessed with some mechanics in the family, but when they are busy we have also turned to church family or friends. If you know someone mechanically minded, you could even trade services – offer to babysit, make a meal, or some other skill you or your husband have!

Furniture – In our home, you will not find new furniture. It’s a luxury we cannot afford, although I’ll admit I’ve been tempted at times! The majority of our furniture has come from garage sales, hand-me-downs, Goodwill, Craigslist, and so forth. We often pray for furniture needs as well, especially when we moved last year and our twins needed to graduate to full-sized beds and dressers of their own.

God provided a set of bunkbeds, a loft bed, a few dressers, a desk, and more – most of which came from one garage sale. We had looked at loft beds online for our daughter’s room since it was going to be quite small, but they were very pricey. We prayed about it and just didn’t feel peaceful about spending that much money on a want. That very weekend, God provided via the garage sale where we found a white loft bed with matching shelves and dresser – all for $50! They wanted to get rid of it so badly, they even threw in an extra desk. Praise the Lord! If we had not been willing to wait, we would have unnecessarily spent well over $400.

Baby Items – We have pretty much outgrown the baby years here, but when we found out we were pregnant with twins over four years ago, I learned a lot about trusting God to provide for needs in this area. He provided a second crib, clothing, a second exersaucer (which wasn’t even a need, really), and so forth from generous friends and even neighbors. We even found car seats we really liked on clearance in one of those moments when you know God is just blessing you for the fun of it! 🙂

I also shopped a lot of garage sales, but my favorite place to shop was the nearest second-hand baby store, called Once Upon a Child. Not only are the gently used items half the price of a new item, but also outgrown baby clothing and items can be traded in for cash or store credit. If you don’t have one in your area, check for another baby thrift store. E-bay was another source of gently used items that I utilized. Last but not least, I often swapped items with ladies at church. For more ideas on how to save in the baby area, read 9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes.

Vacations – We do splurge a little in this area (at least what we call splurging). God has always provided a way for us to vacation when needed.

Now that my husband ministers full-time, vacations are becoming much more of an actual need than a want, and as the saver in the family, I’m learning to see them that way. 🙂 However, the funding isn’t always available, even for a “cheap” vacation like camping. In this case, we have vacationed at relatives’ homes, we have swapped houses, and we have even found some ministries for pastor’s families who help provide lodging. If you are a family in full-time ministry in desperate need of rejuvenation, please visit this site: http://www.lawrencewilson.com/free-retreats-vacations-pastors/ .

Utilities – You can only stretch this budget so far since heat and electricity are necessities (in this country anyway). However, setting the thermostat at 66 or 67 in the winter months and 75 or 76 in the summer months saves quite a bit of money. If you can’t go that far, even a couple of degrees can make a difference.

Consider rewarding your children for turning off unnecessary lights or appliances in the home to motivate them to keep utility costs to a minimum. Additionally, we utilize the budget-billing program to keep our monthly costs even, which is easier to budget for. Consider investing in energy efficient appliances, but only if you have the finances to. Again, if your budget is lacking, pray about it.

5. Do It Yourself Whenever Possible

Haircuts, Home improvements, Home decorating, Lanscaping, Gardening, Sewing, Homemade cleaning products – whatever you can do on your own rather than paying someone else to do is like money in the bank! A $25 pair of clippers lasts a long time – just sayin’. (See this tutorial to learn how to cut boy hair at home and my pinterest board for lots of other DIY tutorials.) Learn how to re-purpose everyday items such as baby wipes. And with the invention of Pinterest and the DIY blogs readily available, we really have little excuse to avoid learning some new skills, right? 🙂

If you have already tried to d-i-y and it just isn’t working, why not trade services to save money on the things you need help with? A few years ago, I promised my husband I would never again ask him to lay laminate wood flooring after we sold our previous home. He was miserable doing it and encountered much difficulty, even with the help of my brother-in-law! But we can barter with friends next time we need new flooring.

So that’s how we live frugally to achieve our financial goals. After 14 years of marriage, my husband has learned to appreciate my frugal nature, and I have learned to allow him to balance it out. Sometimes it’s nice to have the freedom to buy something new, or something that is a want rather than a need. I’m thankful for God’s wisdom in the mate He chose for me!

I’m sure I missed something, but I hope these ideas have helped you find areas in which you can stretch your budget, too! Even if you currently have a budget with a little room to spare, why not consider cutting back in just one area so that you can support global missions or feed a hungry child? When looking around our home, I can see there are things that we could live without even today, so I’m challenging myself here, too. Remember that as with any changes in life, learning to live more frugally is a work in progress. Even small steps can lead to success!

Have a great budget-stretching tip? Share with us in the comments!

Jen 🙂

If you enjoyed this post, you might suggest these practical suggestions for making things last:

http://harvestlanecottage.blogspot.com/2013/06/forty-ways-to-use-it-up-wear-it-out.html

or this post with additional ideas for savings in order to live on one income:

http://yourmodernfamily.com/how-to-become-a-stay-at-home-mom-on-one-income/

or these postw detailing how to save on kids’ clothes:

9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes (part 1)

9 Ways to Save on Kids’ Clothes (part 2)

Also linking up at:

Five Minute Friday: Rhythm

June 21, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 19 Comments

Rhythm

I often say that our youngest son, four years old, marches to the beat of a different drum. He’s the baby of the family. Born a mere minute after his twin sister, he remains somewhat of a mystery to me. He’s faced many trials in his young life already: a premature birth, an apnea monitor, an adverse reaction to immunizations resulting in a seizure disorder, a misshapen head requiring a corrective helmet, enlarged tonsils that interrupted sleep, removal of said tonsils that resulted in a brief hospitalization, and so on.

Despite said trials, he is my happy child, my cuddler, the one who pats my face gently, the one who seeks me out regularly just for a quick snuggle and then it’s back to playing. He requires near constant physical touch.

And rhythm, oh does he have rhythm. I often wonder if he will be a conductor someday because the first body part to catch the beat is usually a hand. He loves music, and he loves it loud. His whole body is one with the cadence.

Out of all four children, he’s the one I have the least clue about. Who will he grow up to be, this young boy? What drives him? When I think of him, I think of words like smile and touch and laughter. He’s the son who gets crazy silly when he’s sleepy. He’s the one who laughs at weird noises. I once entertained him all the way through a grocery store trip by repeating a single phrase in a weird voice. “Do it again, mommy. Again!” And peals of laughter rang out all through the store.

To say I love him just isn’t sufficient. He’s oh-so-different, unique, precious to me. He doesn’t even have to do anything special to make me love him. I just love him for who he is, even without completely understanding him, this boy who marches to the beat of a different drum. My love for him is overwhelming and fierce. I would die for this boy.

And that’s how God feels about all of His children.

Jen 🙂

Five Minute Friday is a challenge, a free-writing exercise that takes place every friday over at www.lisajobaker.com. Join us! 🙂

Taught by Twins

June 12, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 30 Comments

Close to five years ago, God chose to bless our family in a totally unexpected way. It was a blessing I never would have chosen for myself, one I was completely unprepared for and one that brought with it a great deal of anxiety. It’s a blessing that often continues to challenge me today.

The blessing we received was the gift of two children at one time – twins! From the moment we received that awe-inspiring news, I began to worry. The truth is that I like to be in control; I like to plan things in advance. I like life to be organized and tidy, not uncertain or chaotic. Two babies at once was not part of my plan! In my turmoil, I didn’t know whether to yell, “Praise the Lord!” or break down in tears.

Thus, I spent the early portion of my twin pregnancy struggling with fear, worry, and what if’s that I never even considered with my first two pregnancies. What if we lost one or both of them? What if they were born prematurely? What if they had medical issues? What if I had to have a C-section? What if I just couldn’t handle twins? What if our middle child (then our youngest) couldn’t handle being displaced by two siblings at once? What if I couldn’t figure out how to nurse two at a time? What if we didn’t have enough money? The doubts strung out in a long line.

On top of the what ifs, I was riding the roller coaster of amplified pregnancy hormones as a result of carrying two babies at one time. One moment I felt euphoric excitement and extreme gratitude for this unexpected blessing and the next – sheer terror. Even my fear became complicated by the addition of guilt, guilt for sometimes thinking, “it would be easier if it was just one baby,” or “this wasn’t in our plan.” As soon as the errant thoughts entered my consciousness, I felt a shame like no other. So many women would give anything to carry just one baby, and here I was complaining to myself that I was being blessed with two!

I knew I was sinning. I knew I needed to trust God more. I knew that He was in control! I knew His grace was sufficient for me. If He chose to give us twins, then He knew we could handle it with His strength. I prayed constantly over these truths, but I was having so much trouble believing them. I put up a good outer front – it was easy to share my excitement with others and leave out the more shameful feelings.

One day when I confessed my worry that I would be inadequate, a wise woman at my church kindly told me that God knew I could handle two at once, or He would not have entrusted these babies to me. A light bulb burst into light, and I suddenly saw my unexpected twin pregnancy anew, as an honor, a privilege. Instead of reveling in my blessing, I was wallowing in worry. I was wasting this unique experience.

Little by little, the Lord began providing for our physical needs, as if to provide physical evidence for my skeptical spirit. He knew we needed a larger vehicle, so He provided a minivan for our family at very little cost to us. He knew we’d need double the clothing, so He sent neighbors and friends with bags of gently used clothing and other baby necessities.

Our church family collected gifts for us also, including a mountain of diapers that tumbled over onto the floor of the bedroom closet. We received countless gift cards, often from unexpected sources! I was completely overwhelmed by a God who takes seemingly impossible situations and works out the details without any help on our part, and I praised Him for meeting our needs and encouraging us on this new journey.

My pregnancy progressed as uneventfully as a twin pregnancy can and as I neared the end, I thought we might actually make it to full term. The specialist I was seeing joked about how great my uterus was and how well my body was built for carrying babies. I beamed, pleased my body was cooperating so nicely. All was well.

And then the swelling began: first my legs, then my hands, and finally my face. I knew it was pre-eclampsia because I’d experienced it twice before but never this quickly. I called the specialist to report my symptoms, already knowing the answer I would receive. Come to the office immediately.

Not long after arriving at the office, I was ushered over to the hospital and told that a C-section was imminent. C-section: that dreaded word that made me want to run in the opposite direction. Furthermore, my pregnancy had only just reached 34 weeks, so I required steroid injections to help mature the babies’ lungs before operating.

As excited as I was to meet our two bundles of joy, fear of the unknown crept back in, slowly and silently. I feared the C-section recovery. I feared the health issues facing my premature infants. Fear slipped in little by little until suddenly, it was upon me and I could scarcely breathe. I momentarily forgot that God was in control. I forgot that He had demonstrated His provision over and over again for the past seven months in some very big ways. I forgot that He promises to be faithful, and I had a pity party for myself right there in my hospital bed. I cried. I worried. I wallowed in fear, took a bath in its darkness. I wondered why. Why, God?

Our twins arrived the next morning via C-section at right around five pounds each and were quickly whisked away to the NICU. It was the beginning of a very long week. We existed in a sort of haze, but we survived. I put off dealing with my fears and thought surely things would get better once we settled in at home. Surely I wouldn’t worry so much having them right next to me instead of in another section of the hospital.

However, when we finally did make it home, I realized very quickly that it was just the beginning of a long haul. Both babies came home on apnea monitors, which made just about everything more difficult: feeding, sleeping, travelling, and so forth. Additionally, we had already spent an entire week apart from our two older boys, including missing our oldest’s birthday party, so they were understandably needy, as well.

The nights were even more difficult as we woke ourselves every three hours to feed babies that needed assistance, and then I still had to pump. It was exhausting, and I continued to worry about them. Did they drink enough? Would they gain weight? Would I ever be able to nurse them? What should I do when they both cry at once? How can I get them on a schedule when one seems to need more sleep than the other? So much uncertainty.

At first, I read a lot of literature on parenting twins, scheduling, and so forth. I worked at getting them on the same schedule and tried not to feel guilty about the lack of time with our older children. I decided to focus less on doing everything right and focus more on just surviving the day to day grind. I spent time in the Word. I prayed ever more fervently for strength and wisdom. He told me to let go. Quit worrying. Trust Him that even if I somehow did something wrong, my children would still be okay.

It took a few months to come to grips with the fact that my prior parenting experience held little value in this new four-child-family world. I had to adapt my lofty ideals to techniques that would actually work for our family. I even resigned myself to the fact that I might not ever be able to nurse the way I wanted to (although we did eventually figure out how to tandem nurse).

I gave up on having things “just so” and became content with “good enough.”

I gave in to my infant son’s desire to be held…a lot..and my daughter’s desire not to be swaddled. I learned they were different from one another. I learned to find quiet moments with my older children and to understand that jealousy was just a part of life for siblings, whether they have one sibling or many.

One day as I sat on the floor with my incredible infants, it dawned on me that we were no longer just surviving; we were actually THRIVING! All four of our children were happy and despite continuing medical issues, the twins were growing and learning. I even felt more connected to my husband as our busy household required more teamwork than ever before. In fact, despite little sleep and little “me time,” I was superbly content.

Watching my two infants smile at one another, holding them both in my arms at once, feeding them together – all of these things brought me a greater joy than I ever could have imagined. If you have ever seen two babies giggle and smile at one another or sleep peacefully side by side, then you know the joy I’m referring to. It is overwhelming in its beauty.

I admit: life wasn’t always pretty. We still had difficult days, but the smooth days eclipsed the rough ones. I thanked the God who gave me a blessing I didn’t deserve, the blessing I didn’t ask for, the blessing I would never have chosen for myself.

When God gave us twins, He taught me a few very valuable lessons that I try to carry with me still. He taught me that Philippians 4:13 really IS true. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” isn’t just a nice saying, but He really can give me physical strength for the day!

He also taught me that I needed to relax as a parent.

So what if our school age son still doesn’t know how to tie his shoes because we had twins the year before he started kindergarten? So what if I don’t feed my children a food-pyramid-perfect meal three times a day, every day? So what if my oldest occasionally runs out of clean clothing? So what if the tv is on more than I’d like?

There are so many more important things in life than the details of the day to day grind of being mother to a larger than average family. Things like relationships. Love. Attentiveness. Contentment.

The Lord showed me that if I want that abundant life my heart so desires, I need to do the opposite of what makes sense to me. I need to quit trying harder, quit controlling more, and just relax. Relax in His grace. Relax in His presence. I don’t have to control it all because He is in control. If I remain close to Him, the details will work themselves out, often in a more stunning way than I ever thought possible.

Jeremiah 29:11 became very real to me.

I’m profusely thankful that His plans for our hope and future included twins. Like the Israelites in the desert, I would have settled for a return to Egypt rather than experience the glory of the Promised Land. But He had a bigger blessings in mind for us.

Can you recall a time when God’s plans failed to match up with your plans? What were the results?

Jen 🙂

How to Make Food Fun!

June 11, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 7 Comments

Yesterday I shared with you 6 Principles for Picky Eaters, including our pediatrician approved Toddler Technique for mealtime. Learning how to deal with toddler stubbornness over food relieved a lot of stress for us! So today, I want to add some detail to one of those principles: Make food fun.

Let the kids help!

If having children underfoot in the kitchen absolutely drives you batty (and honestly, some days this is me), then let them set the table if they are old enough, or let them help plan the menu for the week. Research shows that the more involved children are in any process, the more likely they are to take ownership of it. The more ownership they take, the more cooperative they become. Even if all your children can do is bring you a spoon to stir with or put out napkins, etc., encourage them to get involved in the process.

As a mama who easily falls into “maintain control” mode, I can see how kids in the kitchen might seem like a recipe for stress. However, if I prepare myself mentally ahead of time for the extra mess and potential disasters, I’m much more likely to enjoy the time spent cooking with my children. That said, some days I just prefer to cook alone. 🙂

Be an artist!

This is an area that I’m still growing in, but we all know that even adults enjoy food that is more visually appealing (it’s all about the presentation). If you want more ideas on how to get creative with food, check out my parenting board on pinterest. While I’m not confident in my abilities to reproduce the more intricate results, the more simple pins are probably doable. They are at least inspiring me to get a little more creative.

A good place to start is to arrange food into different shapes (make a smiley face) or to make sure the plate contains what nutritionists refer to as “a rainbow of color” with various shades of fruits and veggies. Additionally, you could add food coloring to bread dough, mashed potatoes, rice, pasta, or soup for fun.
Take advantage of holidays and create holiday-inspired plates of food. I even have a really creative friend who, once a month or so, creates a themed meal complete with décor!
Research validates that the more colorful the plate is, the more interested children will be in eating and even in trying new foods. Did you know that people presented with a bowl of multi-colored m&ms will eat more in one sitting than those who are presented with bowl of m&ms that are all the same color?
We can use this mind trick to our advantage with fruits and veggies! 🙂 If you offer multiple colors, you’re likely to see the kids eating more in one sitting. Think about it: would you rather eat a cup of raw carrots only, or a cup of mixed raw veggies such as carrots, cucumbers, celery, broccoli, bell peppers, and so on? I would definitely eat more if more than one veggie was available at a time.

Tell a story about the food or play “let’s pretend” with it.

We once told our twins that raw broccoli trees were really dinosaur food, and it worked – for a few meals at least. (Be sure to be honest about made-up stories, though, or you’ll be busted for lying when your children get older and wiser). We also tell all of our children how important healthy food is for their bodies – vitamin C helps keep you healthy, protein gives you energy, fiber helps you poop, and so forth. I guarantee if you have young boys and you mention poop, they’ll eat that fiber in a heartbeat!! 😉

Once, our middle child practically inhaled a bag of carrots within the span of a few days because he wanted to improve his vision (I think he read about it at school).
When stories or facts don’t work, get silly. For example, I encouraged a boy I was babysitting to eat a sandwich he didn’t really like by telling him to eat it like Cookie Monster would. Maybe even tell your children to make noises while eating– it will make them laugh! Remember Ralphie’s little brother from A Christmas Story eating like a pig?? 🙂 I’m not sure I personally would go to that extreme, but it’s the right idea.

Make the table a fun, family-oriented place.

Our four kiddos love suppertime because we are all together at the table (most nights). It’s a time when everyone gets to share a story or a joke and each child has his or her own moment in the spotlight. We talk a lot. We laugh a lot. And while they’re busy laughing, they’re eating! Unless of course, things get a little too crazy. But most of the time, having fun at the table keeps them interested in staying longer and at the same time, strengthens our family bond. Win, win!

Picky Eaters can easily drain the joy from mealtimes, if we allow them to. My husband and I decided years ago that we wanted to be able to enjoy family mealtime with our children. In order to accomplish that goal, we had to first do some training and disciplining in so we could have peace at the table.

It took quite a bit of time and a lot of consistent effort, but I’m happy to report that mealtime battles are very rare in our house anymore, even with our preschoolers! 🙂 (I cannot however claim that they are non-existent. Everyone has an off day now and then and children especially like to randomly challenge previously established boundaries.) Now we look forward to those evening meals together and can focus more on that funny thing our middle child just said rather than on what is or isn’t being eaten.

I hope you are able to employ some of these tips in order to make mealtime less stressful at your house! The older my children get, the more I realize that these early years pass all too quickly. Thus, it’s important to do the necessary training in order to be able to enjoy these years to the fullest (although, I realize there are some moments that are just NOT enjoyable whatsoever). 🙂

While I still have your attention, let me also humbly admit that I am not a perfect mom. I’m not even perfect in the parenting boundaries that I myself have agreed to, along with my husband. Sometimes I break the “rules.” Sometimes I’m so weary of battling that I choose to surrender for the night. We can always try again tomorrow, right? 🙂

If you struggle with feeling like you just aren’t doing things right, please take some time to read The Superwoman Myth or Peaceful Parenting, No Thanks to Pinterest. Moms are so hard on themselves, and I definitely don’t want to put unnecessary pressure on a mama who is already at her limit!

These are simply techniques that I found helpful for our family, but each family is different and each child is different. What works for us may or may not work for you! If mealtime is still a battle at your house, don’t give up; find a solution that works for you. 🙂

Do you have a great tip for how to make food fun? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Happy Eating,

Jen 🙂

Power to Produce

June 5, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

If you are anything like me, then cleaning out the fridge is low on the totem pole. You might occasionally reach in for some sustenance and pull out rotten food instead. Instead of giving life and energy, the food is wasted, worthless, and sometimes even downright disgusting.

Our spiritual fruits can be that way, too! Have you ever tested your fruit? Held it up to the Lamp, the faithful Word of the Lord?

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love,

joy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,self-control;

against such things there is no law.

In my bible, beside this passage I have written two small words: the test. Do you want to know how closely you are walking with the Lord? Examine your fruit of the Spirit! Do they pass the test? Are you overflowing with patience, joy, peace, kindness, love, goodness and so on?

All too often I find myself trying to produce these fruit all on my own. I wake up in the morning thinking, I’m going to be patient with my children today. I’m going to be kind and loving to my husband. And later in the day, when strength runs low, I feel frustrated and out of control. I wonder, “Why am I acting this way? What is the matter with me today?” as if some sort of spell has come over me, and I’ve been rendered incapable of obedience.

Finish reading this post by following the link to its new location here.

A Blogger’s Prayer

June 3, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 24 Comments

This weekend marked the one month birthday of this blog, Being Confident of This. It’s a blog I started, but I’ve decided not to call it my blog anymore because it really isn’t. It’s God’s blog. The reason I say it’s His blog is because He’s done greater things for it in this short time than I could have ever imagined!

I’m happy to tell you that today “Being Confident of This” is being featured on two other blogs! Exciting! 🙂 My cousin, Angie, at http://www.angieknutson.com/ has been a huge help to me in my blogging journey this far. She has a wealth of knowledge and has been kind enough to share it with me, in spite of her own busy schedule, on multiple occasions. I really appreciate her support! Tomorrow she’ll be sharing a brand new post from me about how to handle dreary mornings, so stay tuned for that!!

So far, He’s used this blog to reach others, but even more, He’s used it to reach me. How often do we set out in life to lead others, to teach them, only to realize we are being taught ourselves? That’s how I feel about this whole blogging experience so far. 🙂

So, here’s my prayer as I continue on in this journey:

I see what you did there, God. I see how you used that post about Mary Moments in a Martha World to remind me that the best thing is spending time with you. I see how the post about being a Transformer convicted me to live out truth in love. I see that the biggest flaw in our Sanity Saving Chore Charts is whether or not we as parents are consistent in our follow-up.

At the same time, Lord, I’m learning that I have to be careful with this blogging thing. I heard my little boy the other day when he said I was spending too much time on the computer. I know I need to watch how much time I pour into this. I have to find balance between my time with you and blogging and family and church. It’s not easy, but I know You’ll help me. I see now that it’s part of the process, part of that work in progress.

Father, I’m also learning that you just want me to be me and to trust You to give me the words to say. When I try to create a fabulous post on my own – it flops. 🙂 When I trust You for the message, it soars. I see how that works, God, and I’m trying to get out of the way so that You can use me.

I also see, Lord, the potential to find my worth in the numbers (now I know what my pastoring husband feels like!). I don’t want numbers to be a measure of who I am. I want who I am to be found in You alone. Help me to be obedient to You in sharing the messages You give without worrying about how many people are visiting today, tomorrow, or the next day. Help me to remember that the value is in the obedience to You.

Most of all, Lord, I want to remember that it was Your idea to create this blog, not mine! Like anything else in my life, it ultimately belongs to You. Help me to surrender that control! Help me to remember that You can bring an audience all on Your own with no help from me. I’m simply the vessel. Make me a humble vessel.

Thank You, Father, for this amazing journey.

In Christ alone,

Jen 🙂

What is God teaching you lately? If you feel free to share, leave a comment! 🙂

Also linking up at any of these lovely blogs.

Five Minute Friday: Imagine

May 31, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Imagine.

Imagine a home filled with three rowdy, laughing boys and one daughter with a giggle high and light.

In that home you might hear such phrases as:

“Don’t lick your brother’s face” and

“You can’t beat up your sister’s special doll.”

You might also find messes like this on your nine-foot ceilings,

evidence of a seven-year-old boy left too long in the bath. 🙂

Now imagine a young, often tired mama, who tends to be on the serious side.

She dislikes messes,

and rowdiness,

and chaos.

She appreciates controlled fun, if there is such a thing.

I never imagined myself to be the mama of so many boys, but I certainly am thankful for God’s wisdom in placing them in my care. By the grace of God, I’m learning to embrace

noise,

chaos,

wrestling, and even….

….fart jokes. 🙂

Imagine that tired, young mama opening her mind and heart to a world of fun and let’s pretend. Those rowdy boys and silly daughter teach her to play. They teach her to take life less seriously.

Imagine life without my children? Impossible!

Jen 🙂

What do your children teach you? Share with us in the comments.

Be a Transformer

May 28, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 21 Comments

Have you ever put off saying (or posting) something because you feared the repercussions, how it might be received? If so, then this post is for you. Even as I wrote it, and re-wrote it, I felt that same fear because being bold in my witness does not come naturally to me, rather it usually results from conviction of the Holy Spirit. Thus, I have put off posting this message for too long now, and God has convicted me that I’m not trusting in the Him, the God “who goes before me.” I have spent hours crafting the message so that it will hopefully ring true without causing a permanent loss of hearing. 🙂

So I hope that when you read it, you will consider my heart (even though some of you might hardly know me). My heart beats for God’s people and for His truth, it yearns for us all to strive toward Christ-likeness not for the sake of personal pride or satisfaction with self, but for the sake of His glory, that His name and His Truth should be known around the world! My heart aches for the lost, those who are searching for His Truth without even knowing it. You can blame my parents for this since I spent a great deal of my growing up years as a missionary kid. But that’s another story for another time. Today I want to ask you some tough questions in relation to the following verse:

Recent conversations on Facebook and other media outlets have opened my eyes to a developing trend in Christianity today. Being a Bible-believing, truth-defending, Christ-follower is no longer popular even in many Christian circles!

Somewhere along the line, some of us Christ-followers have become so conformed to this world that we are afraid and/or unwilling to take a stand on issues that the Bible clearly addresses. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve found myself in this camp before, keeping quiet because it’s just easier. Some believers even go so far as to throw their total support behind worldly ideology, political correctness, tolerance – whatever you want to call it – and then condemn their fellow believers for being “judgmental,” “close-minded,” or “intolerant.”

While criticism from the world is to be expected, criticism from fellow believers often surprises us! We are not accustomed to being labeled (or dare I say “judged”?) by those who should be our support. How warped is it that Satan has convinced some of us that simply standing on God’s Truth is being judgmental, and is therefore wrong?

Allow me to clarify: the Bible DOES speak strongly against judging others and becoming self-righteous. We are all familiar with the words of Luke 6:41-42.

Only God can see, and therefore judge, the motives of the heart. Therefore, we should not pre-occupy ourselves with the sin of others; rather we should be too busy dealing with our own sin. However, God also calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and to be bold in our witness as transformers.

Unfortunately, well-publicized, so-called “Christians” have recently taken a stand for their so-called “truth” in ways that ARE harsh and hateful, tarnishing our witness. Furthermore, we have Christian brothers and sisters actively ridiculing others on forums such as Twitter and Facebook, adding to the world’s negative perception of us Christ-followers. While I fully support upholding God’s Truth, when we haughtily shove our beliefs in someone’s face with a sarcastic turn of phrase, a witty cartoon, or a picture that belittles others, we end up conforming to the world and looking just like it! How can we then be salt or light to a world that is in dire need of God’s truth?

I believe Satan has seized hold of this shame over others’ behavior and used it to confuse believers (as well as the world!) and convince many of us that upholding God’s truth is wrong in and of itself, when the reality is that the fault lies in the method of delivery. We have only to study Christ’s example to see how he gently revealed truth to people, often with a single phrase or sentence, and always while caring for their needs, whether physical or spiritual. He did not skirt sin issues, neither did he humiliate the lost.

We must follow Christ’s example in our efforts to live as transformers. When the Bible speaks clearly on issues of right and wrong, we are called to uphold God’s Truth with – and this is the key – LOVE and RESPECT.

The key lies in our delivery – a delivery which requires a balance between Truth and Grace, not the absence of either or both. A total-grace perspective can lead to conformity, while a total-truth perspective can lead to self-righteous bullying . Is it wrong to bully others into sharing our beliefs? Yes! Is it also wrong to be silent on issues that the Bible clearly addresses? Yes! Why then have we allowed the world, the Great Deceiver, and even fellow Christians to tell us that it is un-Christian-like to be a Christian? Ironic, isn’t it? 🙂

My purpose is this: consider carefully how your life and your actions or statements appear to others (especially in regards to social media). Do they see a difference? Are you being transformed by Christ, or are you choosing to conform to the world? There is no middle ground!

I know it is risky voicing the unpopular Biblical perspective on many current issues, but then Christ wasn’t all that popular with the worldly and falsely religious leaders of his day, either. You may lose friends. You may lose popularity. You may even be judged by the very people who accuse you of “ being too judgmental!” Have the courage that Paul had when he wrote in Philippians 3:7-11:

⁷But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Amen??

If at the moment you find that you’ve been conforming (and haven’t we ALL at some point or another??), remember that God’s grace is immediate and His power to provoke change in us is immeasurable. On the other hand, if you are already actively trying to live out a transformed life, take heart. You are not alone!

I encourage you to look to God’s Word and the Word alone to form your opinions, and allow the Holy Spirit to transform your thinking.

Questions to ask before posting or sharing a “truth” statement via social media:

Is your audience one you love and one who loves you in return? In other words, will your message be received in the manner in which it was intended?
Is your message one of God’s truth rather than man’s truth? In other words, do you have contextual biblical support for your message?
Is God leading you to share this truth at this particular time in this particular fashion? In other words, has the prompting come from Him or do you just love your soap box? 🙂
Have you achieved a balance between truth and grace? In other words, how is your method of delivery – gentle or smug?

Telling the truth in grace and love is such a delicate balance to achieve, but as Christ’s image-bearers, we must work toward that balance! We have amazing technology and a unique opportunity to show the world what Christ-like love truly is, so let’s allow Christ’s love to shine through us without diminishing the light of His message. Don’t conform. Be a transformer.

Because of His love,

Jen 🙂

Five Minute Friday: View

May 24, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 15 Comments

Today I’m trying something new! Another blogger has challenged us to participate in Five Minute Fridays – we’ll spend only 5 minutes writing on a word prompt that she gives us. No editing, no grammar checking, no revising. Just creativity. So, here goes!

View

I once lived in a land with breath-taking views. Papua New Guinea, with bright tropical foliage filling the valleys, and the valleys ringed by tall mountains with a beauty of their own. Our tribal home sat perched on the side of one of these mountains, up on stilts with our hammocks hanging beneath.

I loved to sit in my hammock and look out at the blue sky that seemed so much brighter at that elevation and across to the mountain range on the other side of the valley below. Some mornings, thick, white clouds filled the valley as if a blanket of white cotton was laid out for us. So much beauty from the hand of our Creator!

Today the views that grace my landscape are not quite so spectacular. Our small town has its own form of quaint beauty, and the surrounding corn and soybean fields have theirs. Still, I miss New Guinea and the way in which the physical beauty of our mountain home brought me closer to my Creator. It was as if His presence was always evidenced before me, less easy to ignore.

But my Creator is so quick to remind me that my view has so much to do with perspective. I may no longer be surrounded by majestic mountains, wild-growing poinsettia trees, and grass-topped huts scattered among the dense green bush, but I’m surrounded by beautiful people. The man in my life who is quick to help anyone in need. The four-year-old twins who frolic together in the backyard. The seven-year-old with the impish grin on his face, no doubt planning some new mischief. The thirteen year old with his gentle smile and willing spirit.

Yes, my view is good.

Jen 🙂