stultsmamaof4, Author at Being Confident Of This

The Pumpkin Gospel

October 20, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 70 Comments

A few years ago, I was searching for a fall-themed object lesson for our group of AWANA kids. I found a lot of great Thanksgiving craft ideas and even Halloween ideas, but nothing that really struck me, until I ran across the Pumpkin Gospel, also known as the Pumpkin Parable.

Although traditional pumpkin carving is associated with Halloween, this object lesson is all about the Light – how Jesus changes us from the inside out. When children learn this lesson, they will remember it year after year during the Fall season.

You see, I’m learning that perhaps even pagan holidays like Halloween can be redeemed!

Kids love holidays. They love pumpkins. They also love stories. Additionally, they need to be exposed to ideas over and over again for information to take root. The Pumpkin Gospel is a perfect Fall fit!

Preparations:

You will need a table to stand at and a medium to large sized, prepared pumpkin. To prepare the pumpkin:

cut out a hole in the top and clean out the majority of the goo, but save it.
Next, cut out a face with eyes, nose and a smiling mouth, but save the pieces you remove.
Then, put the removed pieces back into place so that the pumpkin looks uncut.
Set aside a few of the cleaner seeds to use at the beginning.
Then, put the rest of the gooey seeds and pulp back in the middle of the pumpkin and replace the top.

The idea is to have the majority of the work done ahead of time so that you don’t have long pauses in your story/object lesson while you’re teaching the Pumpkin Gospel. You will also need a cookie sheet or tablecloth to contain the pumpkin mess during your story, and a candle and matches.

Pumpkin Gospel Story:

Once there was a Gardener who planted seeds in His garden (show clean pumpkin seeds). Each day the Gardener cared for the seeds. He watered them, pulled weeds from around them, and sheltered them from the heat of the sun. The seeds grew into seedlings, which developed into plants, until one day, they produced fruit – pumpkins! The pleased Gardener looked out at His garden and said, “It is good!”

The Pumpkin Gospel

One day, the Gardener went out into his field and picked a special pumpkin (place pumpkin on the table – on top of a cookie sheet or tablecloth, etc. with the uncarved side facing the audience). It was a bit dirty from laying in the garden, so he brought it inside and gently wiped it off (wipe off exterior of pumpkin). Now the pumpkin looked clean on the outside, but what about the inside?

The Gardener took a knife and cut open the top of the pumpkin (pretend to cut open the top again and take it off). And what did He find? A bunch of slimy, yucky goo! (show kids the goop – maybe even let them touch it if you have a small enough group). The Gardener wanted His special pumpkin to be beautiful, so He carefully scraped out all of the goo inside until the pumpkin was as clean inside as it was on the outside! (Remove goo and throw away. Show children the clean interior)

But the Gardener still wasn’t satisfied with the pumpkin. He decided it needed a face! So, He carefully cut out two eyes, a nose, and a big smiling mouth (Turn the carved side of the pumpkin to face the audience. Poke out the eyes, nose and mouth you carved out previously). Now the Gardener’s special pumpkin looked clean AND happy.

But the Gardener still wasn’t satisfied with the pumpkin. So, He put a light inside of it (insert candle and light it). The pumpkin glowed so beautifully! The Gardener’s special project was complete.

When friends and neighbors saw the Gardeners special pumpkin, they marveled at how He took something ordinary from His garden, cleaned it inside and out, put His light inside, and made it something extraordinary!

Explanation of the Pumpkin Gospel:

We are like pumpkins and God is the Gardener. God creates us and cares for us. He “chooses” us from all of the other pumpkins, but inside we all have the yucky goo – sin. (Read Rom. 3:23 and Rom. 6:23)

Just like the Gardener cleaned out his pumpkin’s goo, God wants to clean out all our sin, too. So, He sent his Son Jesus to die for our sins, to take the punishment we deserved. (Read Rom. 5:8, John 3:16, and 1 John 1:9)

Just like the Gardener gave the pumpkin a new face, God makes us a new creation! (Read 2 Cor. 5:17)

Just like the Gardener put His light into the pumpkin to make it shine, so God gives us His light to shine through us! (Read 2 Cor. 4:6 and Mt. 5:16)

So, when we let God clean out our sin, by believing that Jesus died to pay the punishment that we deserve, He turns us into new creations that can shine for Him! And when others see our light, then they might want to learn how to have a light of their own, too!

Religion vs. Relationship Pumpkin Gospel Alternate

In an alternate version of the Pumpkin Gospel, you can also demonstrate the difference between being saved by grace and trying to “earn” salvation through works. All you will need is a second pumpkin with a face that is painted on (rather than cut out). The story about this pumpkin is along the lines of wanting to be “chosen” but not allowing the Gardener to clean out the inside.

So, the pumpkin wears a painted face (tries to make itself acceptable on the outside), but inside, it’s still full of yucky goo. Without removing the goo, there’s no room for the Gardener’s light, so the pumpkin cannot shine.

Many people try to make themselves acceptable to God in their own way ( just like Adam and Eve in the Garden). They might go to church and act like Christians, and they might even believe in God. But unless they trust that Jesus paid the price for their sins, then the sin remains on the inside. They cannot become new creatures without allowing Christ to remove their sin. So, the light of Christ cannot be in them. (Read Eph. 2:8-10) This alternate pumpkin gospel object lesson would work especially well with older children, perhaps even youth age.

Make the most of Fall and the fun opportunities it brings!

Use the Pumpkin Gospel to build your family’s faith. You could even go beyond that – host a fall party, invite your neighbors, and make this fun pumpkin activity part of the experience. It’s a fun, no-pressure kind of way to share your faith with your neighbors!

*This post makes use of affiliate links. For more information please visit the About page for Being Confident of This. Thank you for helping to support this blog!

Note: I have recently learned that there are a variety of books available to help with this object lesson. This one seems closest:

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And Here is one for little hands:
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So, if you’re looking for a fall family activity or even an object lesson for your church or homeschool group, consider redeeming a little bit of Halloween and using the Pumpkin Gospel. Year after year when children see pumpkins lit up, they can remember the story of Who put the light inside of them!

If you have other ideas or stories for redeeming Halloween, I’d love to hear them in the comments!

Jen 🙂

Pumpkin Gospel FREE Printable

This year I’ve added a special bonus for newsletter subscribers. Just fill in the information below to access the free printable version, which includes preparation instructions and the Pumpkin Gospel parable for you to read! You will need to confirm your subscription before you receive access to the library of printables. (Hint: Look for it in your Welcome email!)

Also sharing this post with: The Mommy Club at Crystal and Co, Salt and Light Linkup

Halloween Redemption?

October 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 11 Comments

I’ve seen it in the gentle coloring of the trees outside of our home, that yearly reminder that Fall is here. Right along with Fall comes the harvest season: cornstalks and hay bales and apples and pumpkins… and the “holiday” of Halloween, possibly one of the most controversial holidays for those who are in Christ.

I’m not sure about you, but the Halloween issue is something I’ve always struggled with as a Christ-follower (it’s right up there with what to do with Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.). What to do with Halloween is one of those be-in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world gray areas that seems to so often divide Christians.

Yes, I’ve researched both the pagan roots for the holiday and it’s Catholic counterpart, All Saint’s Day. And I’ve read a few articles lately about what Christians should or should not do in regards to this day. I’m just not sure I agree anymore.

When I was growing up, my family did not dress-up or trick-or-treat, but we did hand out candy from our house during the years that we were not in missionary training (before we went overseas). However, my husband (who also grew up in a Bible believing home) and his siblings donned costumes and went door-to-door up through their teenage years! 🙂

So, when our firstborn came along, we weren’t sure which path to choose. We had the desire to please the Lord in our parenting choices, but we honestly weren’t really sure where to draw the line between freedom in Christ and being “set apart” in this area.

At first, we decided to participate only in our church’s fall festival, a Halloween alternative which was held on the same evening as Halloween, without costumes, but with games and candy. It was so much fun for the whole family!

However, my philosophical brain rejected the idea that it would be somehow “acceptable” to participate in a candy-oriented event on the same night as Halloween as long as we called it by another name and held it at a church yet “unacceptable” to dress in a costume and go trick-or-treating. Weren’t we still celebrating the holiday, just in a different way?

And what about our other “Christian” holidays, like Christmas and Easter. Weren’t those dates and even many of our traditions borrowed from pagan holidays as well? (I know I was shocked when I researched the origins of Christmas in particular.) Yet, over the centuries, we’ve managed to bring Christ into the center of those holidays.

Furthermore, what exactly does the Bible have to say about such celebrations? In the Old Testament we find many yearly festivals celebrated that always served as reminders to God’s chosen people, such as Passover, etc. But after Christ, the only command to repeat any such “celebration” for the purpose of remembering was that of what we now call communion – “do this in remembrance of me.”

In Galatians 5, Paul advises:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

He’s talking to the Galatians specifically about circumcision and how futile it is now that Christ has come. In fact, in verse 2 he warns that if they allow themselves to be circumcised, then Christ will not be “of value” to them. Why? Because they are trusting in the Law rather than a Savior. Then, in verse 6, he offers this truth:

“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”

The outward acts that made up so much of the OT Law no longer matter! What matters is that faith relationship we have because of Jesus. When we read even further on in this chapter, we find once again that the only thing that matters is love:

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.

But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

It seems to me that in gray areas that the Bible doesn’t specifically address, there is grace. Because of Christ, we have freedom from human regulation. The most important thing is not what we “do” in that regards, but in how we love, through faith – each other, as well as the lost.

Since the Bible does not take a crystal clear stance on the celebrating of specific holidays such as Halloween, Christmas, Easter, and so forth we finally decided to err on the side of grace in this gray area.

So, for a few years, we allowed our children to trick-or-treat at select locations, usually church events around town (for safety reasons).

We took the opportunity to discuss why Halloween can be an evil day, depending on how it is celebrated. We talked a lot about good vs. evil and how the spiritual realm is real and present, but that we need not fear it because “God is bigger than the boogeyman” (to steal a line from the Veggietales tune).

Then, a few years ago, my husband decided to return to full-time ministry as the pastor of a small, country church.

And one of the things we decided to do as an outreach event in our new-to-us, small-town community was to host a trunk-r-treat event. If you haven’t heard of trunk-r-treats, people line up their opened car trunks, decorated in various themes, in a parking lot or downtown, and hand out candy from their trunks instead of from their homes. For our small church, it was a big deal!

The big night arrived, cold and wet.

We drove to the downtown parking lot we had chosen for the event, spirits high in spite of the bad weather. The sprinkling slowed a bit to a slight mist and trunks began to open as we set up our decorations. We had Star Wars themed trunks, farm trunks, and even one trunk that looked like a giant mouth with razor-sharp teeth!

Then the costumed families began to arrive, and for an hour and a half, we had a steady stream of trick-or-treaters. We smiled at them. We gave them candy. We served hot drinks in the unseasonably cold weather.

We told parents about our children’s program and youth group. We laughed at inventive costumes. We invited them to fellowship with us. We handed out gospel literature. And eventually, we actually ran out of candy!

In the weeks that followed, we saw very little tangible results from our first trunk-r-treat. No new families stopped by our church to visit. Some might even call it a failed outreach event.

But that event marked the beginning of a slow change in that church, a willingness to start thinking outside of the “church” box. They began to see, with fresh eyes, the lost in our community. They realized that even small churches can serve in big ways!

This year will be our second attempt at the trunk-r-treat event. I hope we will reach even more of our community. We plan to utilize the Pumpkin Gospel object lesson to demonstrate the gospel in visual form (kids love stories!). Whether or not it’s the best way to deal with a historically evil holiday, I know the Lord sees past the exterior to the desires and the motives of our hearts. I hope what our children take away from this in the future is that Halloween is a day to remember that we live in a fallen world. Evil is real, but so is God. We have a light to shine in the darkness!

So, maybe, just maybe, making the right choice for Halloween is not so much about the details of how we “celebrate” but the why behind it. And any day with Jesus as the focus is a good day, in my opinion.

I just have to wonder what satan thinks about a bunch of Christ-loving people hijacking his evil day in an attempt to demonstrate the gospel to an entire community?

If sinners can be redeemed, and Christmas can be redeemed, and Easter can be redeemed…..

then maybe Halloween can, too?

And if the best way for you to overcome evil is to follow convictions about abstaining, then by all means, follow your own convictions! It’s okay for the Body of Christ to disagree on how to best glorify the Lord on this one day, really it is. 🙂

Perhaps the best way to be a light in the darkness is to quit biting and devouring one another and focus on loving each other instead.

Romans 12:21

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Jen 🙂

Ordinary People, Extraordinary Children

October 11, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 13 Comments

It’s one of those days when I feel so plain.

A tad, well, ordinary.

And I know, I know, I know the truth. That I am. Ordinary.

Except I’m not. To Him, I’m not.

Why is it such a struggle to be okay with the ordinary when surrendering to that makes us so completely extraordinary? Why do I look for the praise of man, the love of others, when I know the unfailing love of the King and the pride of Big Brother Jesus?

It’s like this fever within us, the desire to be more. More than ordinary. And it creeps up when we least expect it, even when we’re in the midst of reveling in the extraordinary that He reveals to us.

At first, it’s just a quiet whisper.

We shove it aside, hoping it will go away on its own. But it doesn’t. It grows stronger still, this whisper that we are ordinary, plain, nothing special. And gaining strength, the whisper goes even deeper. You are weak. Your faith is weak. You are worthless.

With a groan, we turn to it, not wanting the whisper to be true, but fearing all the while that it is. Why do we turn to it before turning away, my sisters?

Why do we listen to that whisperer, the Father of Lies?

Why don’t we turn instead to that Voice of Truth?

The Voice that calls us Beloved, Chosen, My People, Redeemed Saints,

Vessels, Lights in a dark world,

Worthy of a one and only Son, Brides of Christ.

Is there anything ordinary about being a bride? I think those of us who are married would say it’s the day in our lives when we felt most special, most beautiful, most beloved.

There is nothing ordinary about bearing the names He gives us!

Be still, whispers.

Roar aloud, Voice of Truth!

Because Satan is defeated. And we…we are new creations. He no longer has dominion over us.

So, be gone foul whisperer!

We.

Are.

Children.

Of the One True King.

Ordinary people, extraordinary children.

We can be confident of that.

1 Peter 2:9

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood,

a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession,

so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light…”

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday, and I’m linking up with Lisa Jo again. You can join in, too! Five minutes of raw, uneditted, stress-free writing on a word prompt she gives us.

I might also be linking this post up with any of these lovely blogs.

Like a Proud Big Brother: Your Identity in Christ

October 9, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 10 Comments

One day after our seven-year-old’s soccer game, he waited in line at the concession stand. The rest of the family waited a few feet away, arms full of camping chairs and water bottles, ready to head back to our trusty minivan.

I watched as our son’s easy grin lit up his face while he talked animatedly with a teammate behind him. His team had remained undefeated, and he was on cloud nine!

He called out to his younger brother to join him.

As the four-year-old brother bounced closer to him, our middle son’s smile widened and his eyes crinkled. He bent down to the younger’s level

“This is my brother, ” he told his teammate.

“Say, hi!” he encouraged the four-year-old.

Pride shone forth from his face as he talked about how he teaches his younger brother and sister how to “do sports” and how they listen to him and do what he says.

He put his arm around the four-year-old in a protective and possessive way, completely pleased to be the big brother. “Gimme five,” he instructed. The younger brother gladly obliged and bounced back to where the rest of the family waited.

Then, he called over his younger sister, also four, and the scenario played out all over again. She giggling and he smiling in her face. Her quick wave to the teammate was cute and girly. She, too, gave a five and then pranced back to join us.

I listened as our son and his teammate continued to converse. “So, they’re like your minions?!” the teammate asked, impressed.

“Yeah, pretty much. They’re my minions.” Our seven-year-old nodded his head.

As I laughed quietly, I realized how true it is. They are his minions.

They trust him.

They listen to him.

And most of the time, they do his bidding.

But he also cares for them.

He helps them. He plays with them. He loves on them. He gives things to them.

And when his friends are around, he introduces them with such beaming pride that you would think he birthed those two four-year-olds himself!

I didn’t think much more of that overheard conversation until later that week when I attended a Beth Moore simulcast. She spoke on grace and law, how we often trust grace for salvation, but we fail to trust it in our everyday lives.

Instead, we walk as if still under the law, guilty and defeated, when we could be living free and victorious! We so often neglect to embrace our identity in Christ.

At the end of the day, Beth brought our attention to the fact that we, who are in Christ, are fully accepted by God; there is nothing more or less we can do to “please” Him. Then, she ended with a speech given to us, one phrase at a time, to repeat to a partner.

It was a speech of words about who we are in Christ, and a speech about how Jesus would present us, His sisters of inheritance.

As I spoke the words aloud to my partner, I suddenly recalled my seven-year-old’s beaming face.

And I. was. undone.

Because that’s exactly how Jesus feels about each one of us, my friends!

He’s the proud big brother; in His eyes, we are something to be joyful about.

That’s our identity in Christ – that Someone is proud to have us in His family, proud to call us His own!

Just imagine it with me now:

With a smile on His face, He calls you to His side, slings His arm around your shoulder, and proclaims for all to hear…

Father, this is my sister. Isn’t she great?

Look how beautiful she is! I love her so much that I willingly gave my life for her, covered her sins in my blood.

She is infinitely precious to me, a daughter of the King.

The Father smiles back at Him and nods in agreement.

The Christ-brother holds out His hand for a celebratory five.

And the angels rejoice!

Let’s live from that identity in Christ, friends.

Because we have a proud big brother.

And His name is Jesus!

Jen 🙂

To read Beth’s commissioning prayer (and other goodies from the simulcast – like the Grace Poem), click here.

And if you’re interested in learning more about your identity in Christ, join our newsletter list of thousands of work-in-progress women who are learning to find godly confidence. We’ll send you this FREE min-devotional:

Work-in-Progress Parenting: The Angry Child

October 6, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 18 Comments

Last night, our second-born, strong-willed, ball-of-energy-and-strength-and-passion son was showing me a few of his latest “tricks.” I watched somewhat half-heartedly and made the typical distracted mom comments.

“Wow!”

“That’s crazy!”

“How do you DO that?”

When suddenly he made this horrible grimace.

He effectively described it as “putting pressure” on his face. To me it looked an awful lot like his angry child face.

Curious, I asked him why he would put pressure on his face. He matter-of-factly explained that it helps him get his anger out when he’s frustrated or feeling angry.

Then he showed me another of his typical angry child poses (fisted hands clenched tightly at his sides) and told me that putting pressure on his body helps him get anger out, too.

Once he was done with the demonstration, he sauntered away, like it was no big deal for a seven-year-old to have such knowledge of his own emotions and body.

I sat there stunned…

This post now has a new home! Click here to read the rest. 🙂

When God Says, “Write.”

October 4, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 25 Comments

Often the Lord asks those who are in Christ to do things we aren’t comfortable doing on our own. Maybe He asks us to talk to someone we don’t really know, invite a neighbor into our home, teach a Sunday School class, or use a gift that He has given in a public setting. When He asks us to do those things that make us a little afraid, we’re always tempted to say no, at least I am. 🙂

No, Lord, I don’t want to go to Nineveh.

No, Lord, I’m not a good speaker; you should ask someone else to lead your people in exiting Egypt, like my brother.

No, Lord, we cannot take the Promised Land; it’s full of giants and we are small.

Over and over again in Scripture we find evidence of people just like us, lacking confidence in their God-given, spiritual gifts, or not wanting the responsibility that comes along with using a gift for the Lord’s glory. They feel inadequate or unworthy of the task.

We can look back on their completed lives and marvel at how the Lord worked through them. We may even call them Heroes of the Bible, but in the moment, they were just ordinary people, afraid of the unkown, afraid of not being “enough.”

I often feel that way, especially about writing. I’d rather leave it to someone else, after all, others can turn a phrase so much more effectively than I can. What do I have to offer?

I’m just an ordinary person. And I’d rather keep those weaknesses of mine hidden, than be open and vulnerable. I’d rather not put myself out there for the world to see, and maybe even criticize. I’d rather avoid, be safe, fly under the radar.

But He commands, “Write.”

A funny thing happens when I obey that still small voice. (Let’s be honest, sometimes when we don’t listen right away, it becomes a resounding gong that keeps us up ’til 4am!) I’m the one who benefits. Me!

It’s exactly the opposite of what I expected when I first started blogging months ago. I thought He wanted me to share truth with others (and I do think that’s part of it), but I didn’t realize He wanted to share those truths with me, first.

And so I write. I pour it all out, sometimes on pages with pen in hand, sometimes on the keyboard, fingers flying, sometimes in bits and pieces, here and there in my notebook.

On occasion, I try to hold back, tone it down. I mean, does anyone really need to see ALL of my ugly? 🙂 But He won’t let me. He requires truth, full disclosure.

“Write, Jen.”

“But this is personal and painful and embarrassing, Father. I’m so ashamed. People will know! What will they think?!”

“I said write, Jen.”

“Okay, Father, but are you sure about this part here about my weight issues. Should I really be telling this to the public? I mean, is it really necessary to include? And can I really say this, Lord? Am I really qualified to write such words?”

“I will give you the words, just write.”

“Okay, Father, I’m still not sure about this, but I’ll try.”

And the words pour out. And sometimes the tears do, too. Because every time He asks me to write, whether about the ugly or the beautiful, He shows me more of Himself, more of myself, and more of who I am becoming in Him.

He teaches me that the best things come when I have nothing to give because then I am an empty vessel for Him. And I’m the one who is blessed! Not because the words are so great, but because

the message.

is.

Great.

Not because my gift is so grand but because writing is the gift, and it’s for me and it’s for Him and it’s for all of us.

More than pretty phrases or clever constructions, the message is what matters.

His message.

So my sisters in Christ, write,

or sing,

or teach,

or garden,

or paint,

or mother,

or serve,

or bake,

or whatever the task He lays before you, whether great or small.

Because the blessing is first for you.

Jen 🙂

Join us for Five Minute Fridays over at Lisa-Jo’s place. We write on a one-word prompt for five minutes – no planning, editing, or stressing. 🙂

I may also be linking up with any of these lovely blogs.

Also sharing with: A Little R &R, Grace and Truth

How to Love When You Feel Unloved

October 2, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 47 Comments

In the spirit of truth-sharing, I’ll tell you that being the wife I am called to be is my weak area, my Achilles heel. I never feel so much like Paul in Romans 7, battling with the flesh, as when marital issues arise. How can I love my husband when I myself feel unloved?

Often Satan and sin have me so ensnared that I even become confused as to what “right” really is.

Like many married couples, we tend to get caught up in the cycle of an argument that’s been played out time and time again. And that can be so frustrating!

Revisiting those same issues makes us feel like failures, trapped by the past, stalled in our progress.

But I’m not satisfied with a marriage that’s merely okay, and I mean that in the best of ways, I really do. I desperately want to grow ever closer to the type of intimacy God intended for us to experience as man and wife.

I don’t want to be fatalistic or resigned in my outlook, even though I may feel that way at times. Because if I settle for “this is as good as it gets,” then where is my hope in the God who transforms souls, including my own?

Marriage is hard work, just like parenting is hard work. If it were easy, we would not be challenged to grow!

Marriage teaches me things about myself that I loathe: how selfish I am, how easily offended, how weak and needy. But unless I see the truth of where I stand, what chance do I have to move on from that spot?

When Marriage is Difficult

By far the most difficult times in our marriage occur when we are both bearing unusual burdens that slowly wear us down, burdens like extended illness, or financial stress, or parenting issues, or major decisions, or unpredictable catastrophes.

We’re both weak.

We’re both worn and frayed.

We’re both longing for rest.

You’ve been there before, I’m sure – those times in life when you both feel like you need a good long vacation from reality.

As much as I’d like to blame our marital strife on my husband’s inadequacies, I know the issues at hand aren’t his alone. We’re called to be sacrificial in our love for one another, but when I’m already at the end of my rope, I often feel there is nothing left to give.

I become selfish;

I withhold kindness.

I justify: how can I love when I feel unloved?

How can I lift my husband up when I can barely lift myself up, Father?

How can I?

I’m certain I’m not alone in this desire we wives have to be rescued by our husbands when the going gets tough.

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This desire to have men of strength come charging in to save the day. This desire to let ourselves be the weak ones for once. This desire to feel protected and cherished and cared for.

Because for all of our outward strength, we women often harbor needs that remain hidden.

The Problem – When You Feel Unloved

The problem is that in wishing my husband would take on that role of Rescuer, I’m asking him to fill a space only our Father God can truly fill.

When I ask my husband to fill up that empty space, I’m asking to be disappointed.

My husband is imperfect. Sometimes he lets me down, as I do him. Sometimes he needs a Rescuer just as I do. Sometimes he is weak. He is only human after all. My desire for him to be what even I cannot is quite unfair, isn’t it?

I’ll be honest. As a busy mom of four, I wrestle with this idea that God should be my sole supply. After all, God cannot help with the bedtime routine or sweep the kitchen or sign permissions slips or pay the bills, at least not in a physical sense.

I wrestle, too, with feelings of disappointment and unkind thoughts toward a husband whom I truly wish to respect.

So, how can I love my husband when I feel unloved?

How can I be so filled with the Spirit, so filled with the Father’s love for my husband, that I have a constant and abundant supply to give?

Honestly, I have no clear answers.

I have only ideas, inklings of what it takes.

Prayer would be a good start – telling God where I’m really at, even if it’s ugly. Letting Him know how unfair it feels, how I feel unloved, how hurt I am, how afraid. Asking Him to bring light to the Enemy’s lies, lies about how it will never change, about how it never has changed, about how you’re stuck.

They are Satan’s favorite lies. You’re trapped in this loveless marriage forever! He’s unfair! He doesn’t appreciate you! You shouldn’t have to put up with this!

Praying for supernatural intervention certainly helps! God can change my husband’s heart, as well as my own, quicker than an hours-long “discussion.” He can give me a supernatural love for my man, something that is not naturally “in me,” especially when I feel unloved.

The Father can melt my stubbornness, soothe my anger, hold my hurt, and forgive my sin, too.

He can also help me see the truth in the situation and who my husband is in the Father’s eyes, a dearly beloved son. He can remind me of how big my husband’s shoes are, how broad his shoulders. He can help me see clearly the load that often sits there and understand why my man sometimes stumbles beneath it.

When I see that truth, who my husband really, truly is at heart, I’m overwhelmed by compassion and ashamed by my traitorous thoughts.

I may not feel any stronger. I may still desperately need rescuing. I may even carry wounds from the wrestling.

The Solution

But at last I see that we two are the same: lonely, weary hearts in search of love and acceptance and a Rescuer.

You’re tired? Me, too.

You want to escape from life right now? Me, too.

You feel inadequate? Me, too.

You hurt? Me, too.

Instead of being angry with my hubby for failing to rescue me, we can turn hand in hand to the Father, the One who rescues us both.

This is how we love, friends,

by gazing into the face of Love Himself.

I’m not trying to make it sound simple or easy because I know how difficult it is to choose love when the world tells us it’s easier to give up and call it quits.

We can choose to love even when we feel unloved because Jesus did.

Greater Love has no man than this…

And so we stand, my husband and I, in the face of Perfect Love.

Side by side.

Fear washed away.

Compassion in our eyes.

Forgiveness on our faces.

Wearing our Grace-colored glasses because we serve the God of all Hope!

We’re merely works in progress here on Earth.

But we are not alone.

And this is not our home.

Jen 🙂

Find more great posts on marriage here:

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True Stories from a Busy Mama

September 27, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Sometimes I fail as a Mom; it’s true. Like yesterday when I forgot to put in a load of laundry that happened to contain the soccer jersey my teenage son needed for his game last night. Let’s just say it didn’t smell the best. 🙂

I felt so bad for him and so frustrated with myself for forgetting!

And then there are the times when I forget to sign my seven-year-old’s assignment book every night. Or the times when field trip money is due. How about the times when someone asks you to do something simple, and you agree, only to forget over and over again?!

The truth is that as a mama of four, my mind is occupied by so many different thoughts, needs, and schedules at one time that some things are bound to slip through the cracks. It frustrates me because I used to be a very dependable person….before kids. 🙂

But then I remember something my aunt said on facebook a while back. She told another relative dealing with mom-guilt that she was mothering well. Why? Because this mom teaches her children about the saving grace of Jesus.

And the truth is, that’s enough, isn’t it?!

If shoes go untied and beds go unmade and laundry goes unwashed or unfolded, but we remember to tell our children about Jesus, then we have done the most important thing of all!

Sharing truth, the most important truth in the universe, is the best way to be a “good” mom.

So, if like me you experience an epic fail in your motherhood this week, remember what’s true.

Superwoman is just a myth.

You teach your children about Jesus.

And that’s enough.

Jen 🙂

This Five Minute Friday’s challenge word from Lisa-Jo Baker is True. She’s asking women all over the globe to share their true stories – the good, the bad, and the ugly. 🙂

Sharing with: Inspired Bloggers Network

Three Biblical Reasons for Suffering: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

September 26, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 22 Comments

Have you ever wondered why the Lord allows suffering to enter our lives? Or what the reasons for suffering are? He’s omnipotent God, after all, and could supernaturally prevent such trials if He chose to do so.

Obviously, this suffering is part of what makes us human, but it truly wasn’t His original plan!

Adam and Eve lived in a perfect atmosphere – no sin, no death, no sickness, no hardship of any kind. That’s the sort of perfect existence our Father God intended for us to experience from the beginning.

Nevertheless, our present world is full of evil, pain, suffering, and trials.So what happened?

3 Biblical Reasons for Suffering:

1. Suffering because of Sin

In the Bible, God’s message to us, we find that the first suffering took place when man first sinned. As a result guilt and death entered the world.

It must have been horrifying for Adam and Eve to realize that because of their choices, an innocent animal must be slaughtered, especially since they had never experienced death.

And to realize they must leave paradise and the very presence of their Lord God?

Equally horrifying.

So by this token, one of the reasons for suffering is related to sin. Sin leads to suffering and eventually… death.

Sometimes we experience natural, earthly consequences as a result of our choices to follow our own ways and ideas rather than God’s. We choose not to stay inside the fence of His protection and leave ourselves open for calamity. That’s one of the reasons for suffering in the world today.

But wait; there is still good news!

We serve a God of grace.

Even though Adam and Eve brought sin and suffering to the world, God did not leave them to suffer alone. Instead, He promised a Deliverer, the Messiah, who would one day restore man to a right relationship with Him.

Consider the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:10-32 -an ungrateful lad who left his father’s household to pursue his own desires, which led to his eventual ruin. But when he realized his mistake, his sin, his father welcomed him home with rejoicing! Not grudging acceptance, but rejoicing!

He was fully restored.

It’s the same for us, Chosen Children – no, even more so!

For if an earthly father could forgive an ungrateful son and welcome him home with full acceptance and even rejoicing, how much more can our perfectly loving Heavenly Father welcome us back when we make wrong choices?

So, even if we suffer for a while because of sin in our lives, God promises redemption and restoration. Although we may feel too ashamed to ask for His help, He willingly offers it!

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7-10

2. Suffering at the hand of Satan

~ For the Lord’s Glory

We also read in 1 Peter 5:8-9 that suffering and trials can be brought upon Christ-followers simply because we belong to the Lord.

Satan is God’s enemy and does not desire that we should exist in a harmonious relationship with God. 1 Peter describes him as prowling like a lion, seeking to devour.

Even the very world we live in is also our enemy because of our beliefs according to this passage in John.

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15:19

Thus, sometimes our suffering is a result of the enemy’s attacks.

Never was there a clearer picture of this type of suffering than the life of Job, a man who lived uprightly. Satan asked for permission to test his faith and the Lord granted it.

Why?

So that through his endurance, Job might bring glory to the Lord!

But the story doesn’t end there, friends. Because the Lord required the loss of Job’s family, possessions, and even his health, He also blessed Job abundantly by restoring him and adding to all that he had before.

And through it all, the Lord was glorified! Not only that, Job’s story continues to be an encouragement to others to this day.

What suffering have you endured that the Lord might want to use for His glory?

We sometimes like to hide away those painful things, but what if our restoration can only be found in surrendering those things to the Lord to do with as He pleases?

3. Suffering for Refined Faith

“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” Isaiah 48:10

In the Bible, we read that trials will refine our faith like precious metals are refined by fire.

Such suffering is not a punishment from the Lord, although it may feel like it at times. Rather, these trials are intended to grow our faith, to help us better understand who God is and who we are through Him.

Therefore, James 1:2-4 can admonish us to “count it all joy” when we suffer.

We can count it joy, not because the suffering is painless, but because we believe that God is faithful to use it for our benefit.

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ…” 1 Peter 1:6-7

Friends, our human perspective is skewed.

We see and live in the here-and-now.

Any present suffering feels bad, unbearable even.

But God’s view is all-encompassing because He is all-knowing and eternal.

God alone knows how something that looks bad can actually result in good for us.

He can also see how the lives we live today will not only affect those around us now, but also how our lives might affect generations upon generations to come.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (emphasis mine)

This, this right here is the light at the end of the tunnel, folks.

Not the deliverance, although we’ll certainly be grateful for that when it comes.

It’s the purpose: to know that we do not suffer in vain.

In the midst of your trial, remember you are not being punished by an angry God, but pruned and pursued by a loving God.

And, oh, the beauty of it all.

When He takes our insignificant pain and suffering and uses it to comfort others in need, I’m just in awe .

This is the God we serve, Who takes the ugly and make it beautiful,

Who turns weeping into rejoicing, pain into promise,

Who lifts up the humble,

Who chooses the weak,

Who redeems the sinner and exalts the unworthy!

He is the Lord and is worthy to be praised!

Take heart, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Whatever trial you are going through,

there is purpose in the pain.

Jen 🙂

Hands-on Color Activities

September 22, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 11 Comments

As promised in last week’s Mama Mondays post on Pre-K resources for homeschooling, I have some color learning activities to share with you today. 🙂 I did not spend a penny on creating these activities and probably only spent an hour or two of my time. Unfortunately, the laminating machine and I did not get along at first, so it took a little longer. If you do not have access to a laminating machine (I used our church’s), check with a local church or library. And learn from my mistakes – practice on some scrap paper first. Also, you might consider using clear contact paper as an alternative.

Here are the color learning activities we made this week:

Color Go-Fish

On pinterest, I saw an idea for cutting activities using paint chips from the store, similar to this color matching activity. So, the next time my husband went to the hardware store, I asked him to pick some up. Instead of the variegated kind, he brought home solid colors, but he did remember to get several of each. Since they weren’t the kind I wanted for cutting practice, I decided to make a Color Go-fish game out of them. The samples themselves were pretty flimsy, so we glued them onto card-stock. If you don’t have card-stock on hand, try using index cards. The twins were happy to practice using their glue-sticks, and I was glad for an adhesive that dries quickly. If you don’t plan to laminate them, I would use a better adhesive, though.

I was already planning on doing some laminating, so I decided to laminate them as well. Now they’re practically indestructible, which is good for our son. 🙂 Our daughter picked up on this color learning game rather quickly, but our son is still learning the rules and the right questions to ask. They both really enjoyed it, though, and have asked to play again since the first time we played. Color Go-Fish is a really fun, hands-on way to learn colors, and we’ll probably use it for shapes, numbers, and letters as soon as I can make up more cards.

Color/Shape Hop

Our son lacks interest for much table work, so I’ve been searching for some more active ways to practice shapes and colors. One neat idea I found on pinterest was to use masking tape to make shapes on the floor. However, since I want to work on colors, as well, I decided to cut out large shapes from colored card-stock and laminate them. Then, we put them out on the floor and say, “Hop on red!” or if you want to include the shape as well, you could say, “Hop on the red heart!” Since we have two preschoolers, I’ll probably give each child his or her own turn so that they don’t fight over the shapes. Once we practice colors, then we use the same activity to practice shapes.

Color Sorting Mats

My husband picked up enough paint chips that I had extras once I made the Color Go-Fish game. I decided to laminate the extra set and use them for color sorting. At the moment, all we had to sort were some colored pom-poms and some beads, so I had our second-grader use one of my scrap-booking paper punches to punch out stars from the leftover shape paper scraps. He had a lot of fun using the punch and now I have stars for our preschoolers to color sort, as well!

I also plan to use our Hi-Ho Cherry-O game for some color sorting. Our twins love to play with the game pieces, so I figure it’s the perfect opportunity for some hands-on learning. We’ll probably practice counting while we’re at it, too. 🙂

For more ideas on Color learning activities:

http://www.childcareland.com/teach10.html

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/59532026297549568/

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/59532026297549599/

Last week we focused on the color green, and this week we plan to focus on the color blue. For our daughter, who already understands color, I’ll do more patterning activities to give her more of a challenge.

That’s all for this week!

Jen 🙂

You may find me linking up at any of these lovely blogs.

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Pumpkin Gospel Story:

The Pumpkin Gospel

Explanation of the Pumpkin Gospel:

Religion vs. Relationship Pumpkin Gospel Alternate

Pumpkin Gospel FREE Printable

Instead, we walk as if still under the law, guilty and defeated, when we could be living free and victorious! We so often neglect to embrace our identity in Christ.

When Marriage is Difficult

The Problem – When You Feel Unloved

When I ask my husband to fill up that empty space, I’m asking to be disappointed.

So, how can I love my husband when I feel unloved?

The Solution

Instead of being angry with my hubby for failing to rescue me, we can turn hand in hand to the Father, the One who rescues us both.

3 Biblical Reasons for Suffering:

1. Suffering because of Sin

2. Suffering at the hand of Satan

~ For the Lord’s Glory

3. Suffering for Refined Faith