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Confidence Born of Chaos

November 27, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

If you are a faithful follower, you’ve probably noticed that the new posts on Being Confident of This have been few and far between lately. I apologize! I feel as if I’ve been in an extended period of wrestling with the Lord, like Jacob.

I vacillate between patient waiting on my Redeemer and repeated attempts to escape this difficult lesson.

This season of trial has been just that – trying, and at times I feel so keenly the attempts of the Enemy. I don’t want to bore you with a list of everything that has added to our burden lately, neither do I wish to complain about our temporary trials.

“When it rains it pours” and Noah’s storm lasted 40 days and nights with weeks of patient waiting to follow, right?! 🙂

But in this time of waiting on the Lord, I’m also learning. One of the things I’ve been learning is to let Him have control of everything, including the words that end up published here. And He seems to be telling me to stay silent often lately, to be still, to simply listen and wait for Him.

So, while I’ve been resting at His feet, waiting and listening, I’ve thought a lot about the title of this blog: Being Confident of This. What exactly is it that we are confident of?

When I first claimed Phil. 1:6 as my very own, my life verse, I did so because I knew I struggled with perfection, since as long as I can remember.

This verse offers comfort to those who, like me, know their desire to please the Lord, their desire to do right, maybe even to be perfect, but they also deeply understand their own flaws.

In the beginning, being confident of this meant that I was confident God would never give up on someone like me, so flawed, so imperfect. I was confident He would keep His promise to carry out the “good work” He began in me. It also meant that someday I would be free of the chains of perfection! Hallelujah!

I have no words to even begin to describe what that means to me – that because of what Christ suffered, I can find freedom! In fact, because He suffered, I am now a co-heir with Him, positionally perfected by His blood.

As I’ve grown in my Christian walk, especially in the intensity of these last few years, I’ve begun to learn another kind of confidence, the kind of confidence born of a certain amount of chaos. I think this lesson in confidence first began about 5 years ago, when we discovered we were expecting twins!

I knew myself, my desire for my agenda, and my impatient nature. Although I’ve been a baby-lover from a very young age, I sincerely doubted my ability to handle twins, especially after the frightful toddler years with our second-born, strong-willed ball of energy and enthusiasm. 🙂

Yet, the Lord carried us through every hurdle we faced, even when… our babies were born six weeks early and ended up in the NICU. Even a few months later when our infant son began to have seizures. Even when we lacked money for necessities.

Even when we faced developmental delays, and head-shaping helmets, and corrective eyeware, and one specialist after the other, etc. He’s been faithful every step of the way!

A few years later, when He asked us to say yes to moving… wherever…like Abraham going forth into the desert with no destination in mind, He remained faithful.

We truly didn’t know what we were saying yes, to, but it just so happened that we said yes to leaving a comfortable job with benefits for a full-time ministry position that required a move, albeit thankfully a short distance.

We waited for a year, with half of our belongings packed away, for Him to sell our home so that we could move to our new community.

He proved faithful every step of the way, providing a place for us to stay when we were temporarily homeless (thanks, Mom and Dad!), a place for our belongings to be stored, furniture for our growing family, a better mower for our bigger yard, and the faith and boldness to jump into a new-to-us church with its old-to-them problems. 🙂

I was so excited about where He was leading us that I temporarily forgot the pain of moving and the insecurity of building new relationships. How can an MK like me forget such things?!

But I did.

And then I remembered…when winter came… and loneliness settled around us. We mourned the loss of friends, the comfort of familiarity, the quiet of just “being” with family. Even then, especially then, He showed Himself faithful. He carried us through that darkest winter and right into the hope of spring!

And now, now I feel we are in the midst of the Refiner’s fire again.

It’s painful, but also beautiful.

Even here, right here in this tough spot that seems to last for eternity, He is faithful. He does not leave me, nor forsake me.

He reminds me of my blessings.

He reminds me of His promises.

He reminds me of His faithfulness.

Most importantly, He reminds me that I belong to Him.

Great is His faithfulness, time and time again. That’s what confidence is beginning to mean to me, my sisters in Christ.

I’m confident that He will see us through this current set of circumstances. I’m confident that even though my faith may at times falter, it will never fail. I’m confident that when I am weak, He’ll be my Strength and when I am poor, He’ll be my Provider.

And when I just need to be held and comforted, He’ll be my Rock.

That’s a confidence worth keeping, right? Let’s not throw it away.

If you find yourself struggling as I have been, cling to this truth, friends. He is faithful; we can be fully certain of that.

When the road ahead looks to be too dark and you find yourself fearing, remember His faithfulness and be confident. When the burden grows so great that you want to throw it off altogether, remember His faithfulness and be confident. When you find yourself stumbling and sorrowing over sin, remember His faithfulness and be confident.

Be confident of this…

that the God of the Universe who walks by your side is the Faithful One.

And that you, you belong to Him.

Jen 🙂

It Will Be Worth It All

November 17, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 14 Comments

Last week we took our four-year-old twins to a doctor’s appointment for a check-up. Our daughter was excited, but fairly calm. Our son, on the other hand, demonstrated a major case of ants-in-the-pants! He combed over every inch of that examination room, up on the table, down on the floor, inspecting every nook and cranny.

By the time the physician’s assistant arrived, I was feeling quite flustered.

Then, because it was our first appointment at this office, she began to ask a battery of questions that required actual thinking, which is really hard to do when you are also trying to keep your rambunctious boy from destroying the room!

It’s not the first time I’ve felt such frustration with my sweet son.

Homeschooling for pre-K gives birth to those same feelings of frustration and inadequacy because our son is a very easily distracted learner (typical for his age)! Even throughout the day, when I’m trying to get his attention or correct his behavior, he pulls away from me, eager for the lesson to be over so that he can move on to better things.

I know he’s just being a four-year-old, caught up in his own little world of fun and furious activity.

I just didn’t realize how like him I am, until recently.

I wrote several weeks ago about waiting on the Lord in the midst of seasons of trial and about finding that light at the end of the tunnel, the hope we can only find in Him and in His purposes. But I must admit, sisters, that I’ve been so eager for the lesson to be over, to escape the trial and get on with what I want to do, that I’ve been an impatient learner.

I keep jumping up from the Father’s feet, scurrying away from this place of discomfort in an attempt to find my own way to peace and joy and rest, thinking that I’ve learned my lesson.

But He knows, He knows the hard work isn’t finished. He knows the lessons I still need to learn, so He patiently calls to me. And when I don’t listen, He leads me back to this place of physical and emotional trial to resume the lesson because…it’s what is best for me, even if I can’t see it in this moment.

He does this for me because He’s my Heavenly Father, perfectly loving and perfectly knowledgeable.

He loves me too much to let me continue down my own path when He knows there is a better way.

Just as I attempt to reason with and teach my active four-year-old son out of love for him, so my Heavenly Father yearns to teach me.

Of course, Satan would have me believe a host of lies about this place of trial:

It’s too painful.

It’s too difficult.

It’s too long.

It’s unfair.

I’m all alone.

But this week, the Lord gave me a few verses that perfectly fit my current circumstances:

2 Cor. 4:16-18

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,

you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36

We throw away our confidence, my work-in-progress friends, when we give ear to the Enemy’s lies.

We throw our confidence when we (and I’m so guilty) wallow in self-pity. We throw away our confidence when we tell ourselves we can endure no longer.

We forget that we serve a loving Savior.

We forget that He promises to never leave nor forsake us.

We forget that our Great High Priest understands and sympathizes with our every pain!

We forget that He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. We forget that our hope and strength can come from Him alone and instead convince ourselves that we must somehow manufacture them within us.

We throw away our confidence and sometimes the weight is so heavy, so, so heavy that we even lose heart.

But the Father, in His goodness, gave me this verse as well:

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying,

yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory

far beyond all comparison,

while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen;

for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

2 Cor. 4:16-18

My physical body is really frustrating me lately. I’m dealing with a lengthy recovery (from the injury at Buttkill Falls), and lately I’ve had other medical issues as well. And I know many, many others who suffer daily even more so than I. But the lesson is hard right now, sisters, so hard that I’m tempted to throw away my confidence almost daily.

But we can’t lose heart or the lesson will not be learned! (And this is one I definitely don’t want to have to repeat!) 🙂

Our bodies may fail us; our children may fail us; our marriages may fail us; our finances may fail us; our churches may fail us; even our friends may fail us….but our inner selves can be renewed day by day if only we quit looking for escape.

We cannot pull away like impatient children who are too wrapped up in self to listen. We must learn to wait for the things that are not seen, the rewards, the promises that we stand upon. We must persevere!

Because even if the only thing we gain as reward from such trials is a closer, sweeter walk with Him, then it’s worth it, isn’t it? Even if we must wait until eternity to receive the reward, it’s worth it, isn’t it? He promises, the glory will be “far beyond all comparison.”

I want it, don’t you?

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,

Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;

One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,

So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Let’s run bravely, sisters, not losing heart, not throwing away our confidence, persevering to the very end because it will be worth it all…

…when we see Jesus.

Jen 🙂

Welcome to the Sisterhood

October 31, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 6 Comments

I’m linking this up with Lisa Jo for Five Minute Friday today (even though I wrote it this afternoon) because she chose the word Grace, which I obviously had already written on today! 🙂 Funny how that works out sometimes. I considered writing another post, but I just feel like this is fitting. So, I hope my Five Minute Friday friends don’t mind too much. 🙂 It took way more than 5 minutes, but shouldn’t take much longer than that to read!

When this blog first began, I mentioned that God created all of us sisters in Christ unique from one another, and that He did so with a purpose! Lately, I’ve been reminded of that fact. Not only are we unique as individuals, but our walks with the Lord will be unique from one another, as well. Thus, the ways in which we live out our faith will vary from person to person.

Paul describes it well in Romans 14:

1 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters…

4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall.

And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

My weaknesses and strengths will not be the same as your weaknesses and strengths, amen?! Unfortunately, because they are different, I’ll be tempted to compare myself to you, my sisters in Christ, and you to me. As a work-in-progress woman, I’m still learning how to have confidence in the woman God has created me to be.

However, as much as I loathe this tendency to compare, I see another, more destructive risk to this comparison game, the risk of self-righteousness. You see, sometimes I compare myself to another sister in Christ and find her lacking, instead. (Gasp! Shock and Awe! Let’s be honest – it happens more often than we like to admit.)

Of course, it’s not always quite that blatant; sin rarely is. But these thoughts that I don’t even want to acknowledge slowly creep in. I’m so thankful my children are well-behaved (….because so-and-so certainly needs to get a handle on hers). Or perhaps you hide it more cleverly in thoughts like this – I’ve studied the scriptures, so my position is biblical (which would make any opposing position unbiblical by default). When we start thinking we have the corner on the market in knowledge, wisdom, or understanding, look out! We are due for a major fall

Self-righteousness – thinking we can somehow make ourselves right.

How I wish I fell prey to it less often!

Self-righteousness centers around actions and outward appearances rather than the heart itself. Oh, how we like to focus on the outward rather than the inward, sisters. I know because I struggle with it, too!

And that right there is the problem: the tendency to quantify and qualify that which we cannot! The truth is, we’re all on equal footing, all saved by grace alone and not by works, so that we might not boast. But how often do we find ourselves boasting in our minds and hearts? I readily admit; I’m just as guilty. God’s grace cannot be qualified. We cannot and dare not attach strings to something He gives freely! And oh, is His grace big, my sisters! It’s so much more than what I can imagine.

You may parent differently, dress differently, celebrate differently, eat differently, educate differently, and on and on. And the truth is – that’s okay. Part of finding confidence in Christ, learning to be who He created us to be, is also learning to extend that same grace and freedom to others. Can I not rejoice in the freedom to be me, yet still celebrate your freedom to be you?

More truth from Romans 14:

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. (emphasis mine)

What is the pleasing way? It is not “a matter of eating and drinking,” not a matter of the details, rather it is a matter of “righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit,” choosing to live by the Spirit. That choice brings to mind 1 Cor. 10:3:1

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

In the scope of eternity, the “whatever” doesn’t matter, sisters! The “glory of God” is what matters. Do you see it?! 🙂

I want to shout for joy because our God is so good and gracious! He knows our tendencies to get caught up in frivolous arguments. He spells it out for us – whatever you do – whichever choice you make – if God’s glory is truly the motivation, then go for it, sister!

If we, fellow sisters in Christ, cannot celebrate each other’s choices to follow hard after the Lord, then who can we celebrate with? This world certainly won’t be encouraging and celebrating us in our efforts to live worthy of the calling we have received. Such self-destructive behavior can only be celebrated by the enemy, that twister of truth, creator of lies. And I, for one, do not wish to give him any cause for celebration!

“Beloved, let us love one another,” 1 John 4:7

We are sisters in Christ.

Let’s build each other up in love, lest we all fall prey to the enemy who seeks to devour.

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

Romans 14:19

United in Christ,

united in Love.

Welcome to the sisterhood,

and let the celebrations begin!

Jen 🙂

I’m linking up with any of these lovely blogs.

Ordinary People, Extraordinary Children

October 11, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 13 Comments

It’s one of those days when I feel so plain.

A tad, well, ordinary.

And I know, I know, I know the truth. That I am. Ordinary.

Except I’m not. To Him, I’m not.

Why is it such a struggle to be okay with the ordinary when surrendering to that makes us so completely extraordinary? Why do I look for the praise of man, the love of others, when I know the unfailing love of the King and the pride of Big Brother Jesus?

It’s like this fever within us, the desire to be more. More than ordinary. And it creeps up when we least expect it, even when we’re in the midst of reveling in the extraordinary that He reveals to us.

At first, it’s just a quiet whisper.

We shove it aside, hoping it will go away on its own. But it doesn’t. It grows stronger still, this whisper that we are ordinary, plain, nothing special. And gaining strength, the whisper goes even deeper. You are weak. Your faith is weak. You are worthless.

With a groan, we turn to it, not wanting the whisper to be true, but fearing all the while that it is. Why do we turn to it before turning away, my sisters?

Why do we listen to that whisperer, the Father of Lies?

Why don’t we turn instead to that Voice of Truth?

The Voice that calls us Beloved, Chosen, My People, Redeemed Saints,

Vessels, Lights in a dark world,

Worthy of a one and only Son, Brides of Christ.

Is there anything ordinary about being a bride? I think those of us who are married would say it’s the day in our lives when we felt most special, most beautiful, most beloved.

There is nothing ordinary about bearing the names He gives us!

Be still, whispers.

Roar aloud, Voice of Truth!

Because Satan is defeated. And we…we are new creations. He no longer has dominion over us.

So, be gone foul whisperer!

We.

Are.

Children.

Of the One True King.

Ordinary people, extraordinary children.

We can be confident of that.

1 Peter 2:9

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood,

a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession,

so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light…”

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday, and I’m linking up with Lisa Jo again. You can join in, too! Five minutes of raw, uneditted, stress-free writing on a word prompt she gives us.

I might also be linking this post up with any of these lovely blogs.

The Honeymoon is Over

July 31, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 32 Comments

It was bound to happen eventually. I’ve only been blogging for a few months now, so I don’t really have much experience to go on. But I think I can say with some certainty that the blogging honeymoon is over.

Blogging, like so many other things in life, was so fascinating and exciting when it was new to me. Every view was cherished, every comment celebrated. Some days I would check the blog first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. It’s the truth; I think I became just a tiny bit obsessed! Maybe, just maybe, I even made an idol of it, to my shame.

I do that, though. I throw myself into new things with such enthusiasm, such big plans and dreams. And then somewhere along the line, it stops being quite so much fun and starts to feel more like work, like just another burden to carry.

Some of you might be thinking, but it’s just a blog! To a certain extent, you’d be correct. It doesn’t feel like “just” a blog to me, though. It feels like part of me that I’ve put on display for the world to see. And there are these nifty little graphs that measure that part of me day by day by day… And some days they just don’t measure up to what I’d like to see. No matter how high they reach, there seems to be this desire for more. And the inspiration isn’t always there. And busy schedules get in the way.

And sometimes…

I just want to give up.

Let’s be honest. It happens to all of us! When that new baby comes home smelling so sweet, and everyone is exclaiming “how perfect”…when that new job is so exciting that you just can’t wait to go to work, and people tell you how happy they are to have you there…when that new ministry that you’ve been planning for and dreaming of finally comes to fruition…when you make that purchase that you’ve been saving up for and it’s just. so. cool….when that mountaintop experience leads you to a faith high that just can’t be matched.

Inevitably, a valley follows that mountain. That perfect baby that slept so well in the hospital cries all night long, night after night after night. That new job has its own set of challenges. That new ministry has flaws, too. That new purchase grows old or outdated. Thus the mountain gives way to a valley. And those feelings that had us on cloud nine in the mountains leave us, and we wish for more.

But our spiritual lives are not lived just on the mountain tops. In fact, those mountain tops most likely add up to a very small part of our faith journey. The truth is that the valleys often naturally follow the mountains , not because anything has changed but because our physiology is built that way. Our bodies cannot sustain a constant state of “high,” so we must experience a “low” to bring us back to equilibrium. And perhaps even more because we were not meant for this imperfect world, so we yearn for something better.

While I know that my faith isn’t built on feelings, as a woman emotions do come into play! How often I’ve wished those pesky emotions away even though I know they serve a purpose. 🙂

So what’s a girl to do when she just gets a case of the blahs and the blogging honeymoon seems to be over? She recognizes the valley for what it is – temporary. She remembers that she is not a citizen of this world. She blogs anyways because that’s what God led her to do, just like she mothers anyways, she loves anyways, she trusts anyways, she clings to His promises anyways, she speaks truth anyways, she leads anyways, and she hopes anyways.

She keeps seeking. Sometimes she even stumbles and falls, and she’s so ashamed of her weakness. But He’s right there to help her back up again. Along the way, she learns a little more of the unfathomable depth of God’s grace. She grows a little more confident in an overwhelming, unconditional love. She grows a little more confident in His timely provision. She grows a little more confident in the work He’s doing within her.

Because He promised that one day, one glorious day, that work would be complete.

And the valleys will be gone.

And the mountain top lasts for all eternity.

And we see His face.

So we wait, like so many others before us.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us,

let us also lay aside every encumbrance

and the sin which so easily entangles us,

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith,

who for the joy set before Him endured the cross,

despising the shame,

and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility

by sinners against Himself,

so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

And we don’t lose heart.

Jen 🙂

Grace-colored Glasses

July 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 54 Comments

Have you ever felt like an epic failure? Have you felt stuck in old patterns that you just can’t seem to overcome? That’s how I often feel when it comes to my marriage. But this story is the moment when I learned to put on Grace-colored glasses and see myself through them.

………………………………

Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again. He just won’t leave me alone.

He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord. Some days I can ignore him and others I can’t escape. And I know it’s Perfectionism and not the Holy Spirit because of his voice. He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different…

The location of this post has moved! To read the rest, click here.

A Savior Who Never Grows Weary

June 26, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 21 Comments

I’m privileged to attend a women’s bible study on Tuesday mornings most weeks. We’re currently studying the book of Hebrews in depth, and this week the focus was on the latter part of chapter seven.

In this chapter, the author spends a great deal of space demonstrating why Jesus is the ultimate High Priest, even greater than Melchizedek, who was a pillar of the Hebrew faith.

Because Jesus is eternal, He is superior.

Because He is perfect, blameless, He is superior.

Because He continues to intercede on our behalf at the Father’s right hand, He is superior.

Hebrews 7

“23 The former priests, on the one hand, existed in greater numbers because they were prevented by death from continuing, 24 but Jesus, on the other hand, because He continues forever, holds His priesthood permanently. 25 Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.

26 For it was fitting for us to have such a high priest, holy, innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and exalted above the heavens; 27 who does not need daily, like those high priests, to offer up sacrifices, first for His own sins and then for the sins of the people, because this He did once for all when He offered up Himself. 28 For the Law appoints men as high priests who are weak, but the word of the oath, which came after the Law, appoints a Son, made perfect forever.”

When asked to reflect on these verses, the end of verse 25 jumped out at me. “He always lives to make intercession for them.” That is His purpose at the right hand of the Father, to intercede on my behalf, continuously, for all of eternity.

Did you catch that? Our risen Savior didn’t just choose us at the cross.

Our Savior chooses us now; defends us now; redeems us now; intercedes for us now, moment by moment, forever and ever, hallelujah!

I often grow weary of my children (let’s be honest, now :)). I often grow weary of my husband, of others, and sometimes I even grow weary of my Lord. My love fails.

But His love never fails.

He is a Savior who never grows weary!

It wasn’t just a one-time act, that choice to suffer on the cross, that forgiveness of even the most unpardonable sins. He continues to act on my behalf, acts for my forgiveness, over and over again. Today, and the next day, and for all of eternity.

As humans, we cannot even come close to that kind of love! In fact, even our most sacred vows end with ” til death do us part.” One day we will come to an end, and with that end, our imperfect love will also cease.

We says things like, “I’ll love you forever” but that promise is impossible for us to keep. And even if we manage to love one another for a lifetime, our love is full of faults, imperfections, wounds, conditions.

But His love is not our love.

He alone can keep the promise of a perfect, forever love. Our High Priest claims us time and time again.

Father, you see that one right there? I chose her. I died for her. Her sin is covered by my blood. She belongs to us now. I call her beloved. I love her as she is.

Oh, the overwhelming grace! It’s almost painful in its power. It floods us and we drown in it, dying to self and rising anew. Rising to bone-deep gratefulness. Rising to undeserved confidence in our eternal position. Rising to true love.

If you’re feeling low-down and unworthy today, unloved or under-appreciated, overwhelmed by sin or temptation or trials, or maybe just a little weary of life in general, remember who your Savior is.

He is real.

His love is real.

And it never ceases.

He sits at the right hand of the Father and proclaims, “Covered by my blood, covered by my blood.”

Rise anew, beloved,

rise anew.

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: A Little R&R, Grace and Truth

A Blogger’s Prayer

June 3, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 24 Comments

This weekend marked the one month birthday of this blog, Being Confident of This. It’s a blog I started, but I’ve decided not to call it my blog anymore because it really isn’t. It’s God’s blog. The reason I say it’s His blog is because He’s done greater things for it in this short time than I could have ever imagined!

I’m happy to tell you that today “Being Confident of This” is being featured on two other blogs! Exciting! 🙂 My cousin, Angie, at http://www.angieknutson.com/ has been a huge help to me in my blogging journey this far. She has a wealth of knowledge and has been kind enough to share it with me, in spite of her own busy schedule, on multiple occasions. I really appreciate her support! Tomorrow she’ll be sharing a brand new post from me about how to handle dreary mornings, so stay tuned for that!!

So far, He’s used this blog to reach others, but even more, He’s used it to reach me. How often do we set out in life to lead others, to teach them, only to realize we are being taught ourselves? That’s how I feel about this whole blogging experience so far. 🙂

So, here’s my prayer as I continue on in this journey:

I see what you did there, God. I see how you used that post about Mary Moments in a Martha World to remind me that the best thing is spending time with you. I see how the post about being a Transformer convicted me to live out truth in love. I see that the biggest flaw in our Sanity Saving Chore Charts is whether or not we as parents are consistent in our follow-up.

At the same time, Lord, I’m learning that I have to be careful with this blogging thing. I heard my little boy the other day when he said I was spending too much time on the computer. I know I need to watch how much time I pour into this. I have to find balance between my time with you and blogging and family and church. It’s not easy, but I know You’ll help me. I see now that it’s part of the process, part of that work in progress.

Father, I’m also learning that you just want me to be me and to trust You to give me the words to say. When I try to create a fabulous post on my own – it flops. 🙂 When I trust You for the message, it soars. I see how that works, God, and I’m trying to get out of the way so that You can use me.

I also see, Lord, the potential to find my worth in the numbers (now I know what my pastoring husband feels like!). I don’t want numbers to be a measure of who I am. I want who I am to be found in You alone. Help me to be obedient to You in sharing the messages You give without worrying about how many people are visiting today, tomorrow, or the next day. Help me to remember that the value is in the obedience to You.

Most of all, Lord, I want to remember that it was Your idea to create this blog, not mine! Like anything else in my life, it ultimately belongs to You. Help me to surrender that control! Help me to remember that You can bring an audience all on Your own with no help from me. I’m simply the vessel. Make me a humble vessel.

Thank You, Father, for this amazing journey.

In Christ alone,

Jen 🙂

What is God teaching you lately? If you feel free to share, leave a comment! 🙂

Also linking up at any of these lovely blogs.

My Monday Morning Confession

April 29, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 26 Comments

Yesterday was Sunday. Yesterday I was so excited about actually starting this blog (and not just talking about it), about the potential to reach others, like myself, and encourage them, spur them on.

Yesterday, I was swept up in awe of God and the paths He leads us down, often paths we might not have chosen for ourselves. I was typing out oh-so-many ideas at once. I was working and re-working potential posts and the format of the blog itself.

I was confident.

I was on FIRE!

But today is Monday. Today brings with it

Today brings with it uncertainty and doubt, perhaps mixed with a little fear that I’ve gotten myself in waaaaaaay over my head.

Today, after having looked around at fellow faith bloggers, I’m feeling insignificant, untalented, and overwhelmed. Maybe even a little foolish. Today I’m tempted to listen to that voice that says, “What were you thinking??”

Isn’t that how it starts, though?

For one second we take our eyes off of the Father, and suddenly we’re bombarded by these devastating untruths.

Insignificant – it’s an untruth straight from the depths of self and Satan. Self tells me I need to create something I can be proud of, something of worth. Self tells me to be careful; don’t let your pride be wounded. Self makes it about me instead of about Christ.

Then Satan, being the opportunist he is, inserts his voice…insignificant. Wouldn’t he love for all of us women of faith to believe that?! It makes his destructive work so much easier to accomplish!

Thank the Lord that we have His word, the Sword of the Spirit, to combat these untruths. Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” He “knit” us together in our mother’s wombs. He knows the number of hairs on our heads. He has loved us with “an everlasting love.”

And His Son Jesus, His one and only, perfect Son calls us His brothers and sisters. That doesn’t sound so insignificant to me. These are just a few nuggets from a gold mine of Scriptures detailing the Father’s love for us.

Even more, consider Romans 5:8, which says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” If nothing more, surely that nugget alone makes us significant! For a Father to sacrifice His only Son in my place while I remained a helpless and unworthy sinner, means that He places extraordinarily great value on me.

And on you, friend.

What a comfort for a Monday morning!

So, if you’re like me today, and the reality of a Monday morning world has dampened your Sunday fire, remember who you are.

You are the redeemed,

the beloved,

the chosen,

the loved-beyond-measure child of the Most High.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can confidently conquer that Monday world!

Epheisans 6:10 – 17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Arm yourselves, friends,

Jen : )

Sharing with: Grace and Truth