trials Archives | Page 2 of 2 | Being Confident Of This

Choosing the Struggle

March 2, 2014 by stultsmamaof4 39 Comments

Choose.

“Choose you this day whom you will serve…”

It’s the first thought that runs through my head. And the obvious choice. Yes, I choose Jesus. I want to serve the Father.

I want to follow hard after Him.

But some days, the choosing is a struggle, isn’t it?

The choosing is easy enough when the sun shines and the warm breeze blows and the blessings flow and joy abounds.

But what about those days when the fiery darts strike in quick succession? And just as you rise, the wind gets knocked out of you once more? Those days the choosing feels near impossible.

And that’s exactly what our Enemy wants, my work-in-progress friends, for us to feel helpless!

Incapable!

Paralyzed!

Weary!

Defeated!

We just want to cry, “mercy” and throw in the towel, admit defeat. We’re so overwhelmed by the struggle that we have little left to give.

Those lies about our failings will carry us right away if we let them, won’t they? Carry us right away into a sea of despair, a void of apathy, a pit of depression.

What if we choose the struggle instead, friends?

In those times when we can’t find it in ourselves to choose joy, when we can’t count our blessings for the crashing waves before us, when we feel incapable of making a choice at all, maybe it’s enough just to choose the struggle.

Even though we may not be winning, we choose fighting the good fight. We don’t give up, we don’t give in. Even though we fear defeat, even though we falter for a step or two, or even a mile or more, we choose to press on.

What if we throw off the chains of perfection and choose instead the road of imperfect progress?Maybe even some days that road looks less like progress and more like a struggle for simple survival.

Those are the days we count it a victory just to finish out with our faith still intact.

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

Hebrews 11:6

So we fight by faith!

By faith, we wait on the Lord.

By faith, we cling to the promise of grace and we seek His face.

By faith, we choose the struggle, day after day after day.

And some days, that’s the best choice we can possibly make.

Let’s choose it together, friends.

It’s the choice that leads to victory!

Jen 🙂

Sharing with #TheLoft and Grace and Truth.

Confidence Born of Chaos

November 27, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 8 Comments

If you are a faithful follower, you’ve probably noticed that the new posts on Being Confident of This have been few and far between lately. I apologize! I feel as if I’ve been in an extended period of wrestling with the Lord, like Jacob.

I vacillate between patient waiting on my Redeemer and repeated attempts to escape this difficult lesson.

This season of trial has been just that – trying, and at times I feel so keenly the attempts of the Enemy. I don’t want to bore you with a list of everything that has added to our burden lately, neither do I wish to complain about our temporary trials.

“When it rains it pours” and Noah’s storm lasted 40 days and nights with weeks of patient waiting to follow, right?! 🙂

But in this time of waiting on the Lord, I’m also learning. One of the things I’ve been learning is to let Him have control of everything, including the words that end up published here. And He seems to be telling me to stay silent often lately, to be still, to simply listen and wait for Him.

So, while I’ve been resting at His feet, waiting and listening, I’ve thought a lot about the title of this blog: Being Confident of This. What exactly is it that we are confident of?

When I first claimed Phil. 1:6 as my very own, my life verse, I did so because I knew I struggled with perfection, since as long as I can remember.

This verse offers comfort to those who, like me, know their desire to please the Lord, their desire to do right, maybe even to be perfect, but they also deeply understand their own flaws.

In the beginning, being confident of this meant that I was confident God would never give up on someone like me, so flawed, so imperfect. I was confident He would keep His promise to carry out the “good work” He began in me. It also meant that someday I would be free of the chains of perfection! Hallelujah!

I have no words to even begin to describe what that means to me – that because of what Christ suffered, I can find freedom! In fact, because He suffered, I am now a co-heir with Him, positionally perfected by His blood.

As I’ve grown in my Christian walk, especially in the intensity of these last few years, I’ve begun to learn another kind of confidence, the kind of confidence born of a certain amount of chaos. I think this lesson in confidence first began about 5 years ago, when we discovered we were expecting twins!

I knew myself, my desire for my agenda, and my impatient nature. Although I’ve been a baby-lover from a very young age, I sincerely doubted my ability to handle twins, especially after the frightful toddler years with our second-born, strong-willed ball of energy and enthusiasm. 🙂

Yet, the Lord carried us through every hurdle we faced, even when… our babies were born six weeks early and ended up in the NICU. Even a few months later when our infant son began to have seizures. Even when we lacked money for necessities.

Even when we faced developmental delays, and head-shaping helmets, and corrective eyeware, and one specialist after the other, etc. He’s been faithful every step of the way!

A few years later, when He asked us to say yes to moving… wherever…like Abraham going forth into the desert with no destination in mind, He remained faithful.

We truly didn’t know what we were saying yes, to, but it just so happened that we said yes to leaving a comfortable job with benefits for a full-time ministry position that required a move, albeit thankfully a short distance.

We waited for a year, with half of our belongings packed away, for Him to sell our home so that we could move to our new community.

He proved faithful every step of the way, providing a place for us to stay when we were temporarily homeless (thanks, Mom and Dad!), a place for our belongings to be stored, furniture for our growing family, a better mower for our bigger yard, and the faith and boldness to jump into a new-to-us church with its old-to-them problems. 🙂

I was so excited about where He was leading us that I temporarily forgot the pain of moving and the insecurity of building new relationships. How can an MK like me forget such things?!

But I did.

And then I remembered…when winter came… and loneliness settled around us. We mourned the loss of friends, the comfort of familiarity, the quiet of just “being” with family. Even then, especially then, He showed Himself faithful. He carried us through that darkest winter and right into the hope of spring!

And now, now I feel we are in the midst of the Refiner’s fire again.

It’s painful, but also beautiful.

Even here, right here in this tough spot that seems to last for eternity, He is faithful. He does not leave me, nor forsake me.

He reminds me of my blessings.

He reminds me of His promises.

He reminds me of His faithfulness.

Most importantly, He reminds me that I belong to Him.

Great is His faithfulness, time and time again. That’s what confidence is beginning to mean to me, my sisters in Christ.

I’m confident that He will see us through this current set of circumstances. I’m confident that even though my faith may at times falter, it will never fail. I’m confident that when I am weak, He’ll be my Strength and when I am poor, He’ll be my Provider.

And when I just need to be held and comforted, He’ll be my Rock.

That’s a confidence worth keeping, right? Let’s not throw it away.

If you find yourself struggling as I have been, cling to this truth, friends. He is faithful; we can be fully certain of that.

When the road ahead looks to be too dark and you find yourself fearing, remember His faithfulness and be confident. When the burden grows so great that you want to throw it off altogether, remember His faithfulness and be confident. When you find yourself stumbling and sorrowing over sin, remember His faithfulness and be confident.

Be confident of this…

that the God of the Universe who walks by your side is the Faithful One.

And that you, you belong to Him.

Jen 🙂

It Will Be Worth It All

November 17, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 14 Comments

Last week we took our four-year-old twins to a doctor’s appointment for a check-up. Our daughter was excited, but fairly calm. Our son, on the other hand, demonstrated a major case of ants-in-the-pants! He combed over every inch of that examination room, up on the table, down on the floor, inspecting every nook and cranny.

By the time the physician’s assistant arrived, I was feeling quite flustered.

Then, because it was our first appointment at this office, she began to ask a battery of questions that required actual thinking, which is really hard to do when you are also trying to keep your rambunctious boy from destroying the room!

It’s not the first time I’ve felt such frustration with my sweet son.

Homeschooling for pre-K gives birth to those same feelings of frustration and inadequacy because our son is a very easily distracted learner (typical for his age)! Even throughout the day, when I’m trying to get his attention or correct his behavior, he pulls away from me, eager for the lesson to be over so that he can move on to better things.

I know he’s just being a four-year-old, caught up in his own little world of fun and furious activity.

I just didn’t realize how like him I am, until recently.

I wrote several weeks ago about waiting on the Lord in the midst of seasons of trial and about finding that light at the end of the tunnel, the hope we can only find in Him and in His purposes. But I must admit, sisters, that I’ve been so eager for the lesson to be over, to escape the trial and get on with what I want to do, that I’ve been an impatient learner.

I keep jumping up from the Father’s feet, scurrying away from this place of discomfort in an attempt to find my own way to peace and joy and rest, thinking that I’ve learned my lesson.

But He knows, He knows the hard work isn’t finished. He knows the lessons I still need to learn, so He patiently calls to me. And when I don’t listen, He leads me back to this place of physical and emotional trial to resume the lesson because…it’s what is best for me, even if I can’t see it in this moment.

He does this for me because He’s my Heavenly Father, perfectly loving and perfectly knowledgeable.

He loves me too much to let me continue down my own path when He knows there is a better way.

Just as I attempt to reason with and teach my active four-year-old son out of love for him, so my Heavenly Father yearns to teach me.

Of course, Satan would have me believe a host of lies about this place of trial:

It’s too painful.

It’s too difficult.

It’s too long.

It’s unfair.

I’m all alone.

But this week, the Lord gave me a few verses that perfectly fit my current circumstances:

2 Cor. 4:16-18

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,

you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36

We throw away our confidence, my work-in-progress friends, when we give ear to the Enemy’s lies.

We throw our confidence when we (and I’m so guilty) wallow in self-pity. We throw away our confidence when we tell ourselves we can endure no longer.

We forget that we serve a loving Savior.

We forget that He promises to never leave nor forsake us.

We forget that our Great High Priest understands and sympathizes with our every pain!

We forget that He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. We forget that our hope and strength can come from Him alone and instead convince ourselves that we must somehow manufacture them within us.

We throw away our confidence and sometimes the weight is so heavy, so, so heavy that we even lose heart.

But the Father, in His goodness, gave me this verse as well:

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying,

yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory

far beyond all comparison,

while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen;

for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

2 Cor. 4:16-18

My physical body is really frustrating me lately. I’m dealing with a lengthy recovery (from the injury at Buttkill Falls), and lately I’ve had other medical issues as well. And I know many, many others who suffer daily even more so than I. But the lesson is hard right now, sisters, so hard that I’m tempted to throw away my confidence almost daily.

But we can’t lose heart or the lesson will not be learned! (And this is one I definitely don’t want to have to repeat!) 🙂

Our bodies may fail us; our children may fail us; our marriages may fail us; our finances may fail us; our churches may fail us; even our friends may fail us….but our inner selves can be renewed day by day if only we quit looking for escape.

We cannot pull away like impatient children who are too wrapped up in self to listen. We must learn to wait for the things that are not seen, the rewards, the promises that we stand upon. We must persevere!

Because even if the only thing we gain as reward from such trials is a closer, sweeter walk with Him, then it’s worth it, isn’t it? Even if we must wait until eternity to receive the reward, it’s worth it, isn’t it? He promises, the glory will be “far beyond all comparison.”

I want it, don’t you?

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,

Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;

One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,

So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Let’s run bravely, sisters, not losing heart, not throwing away our confidence, persevering to the very end because it will be worth it all…

…when we see Jesus.

Jen 🙂

Three Biblical Reasons for Suffering: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

September 26, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 22 Comments

Have you ever wondered why the Lord allows suffering to enter our lives? Or what the reasons for suffering are? He’s omnipotent God, after all, and could supernaturally prevent such trials if He chose to do so.

Obviously, this suffering is part of what makes us human, but it truly wasn’t His original plan!

Adam and Eve lived in a perfect atmosphere – no sin, no death, no sickness, no hardship of any kind. That’s the sort of perfect existence our Father God intended for us to experience from the beginning.

Nevertheless, our present world is full of evil, pain, suffering, and trials.So what happened?

3 Biblical Reasons for Suffering:

1. Suffering because of Sin

In the Bible, God’s message to us, we find that the first suffering took place when man first sinned. As a result guilt and death entered the world.

It must have been horrifying for Adam and Eve to realize that because of their choices, an innocent animal must be slaughtered, especially since they had never experienced death.

And to realize they must leave paradise and the very presence of their Lord God?

Equally horrifying.

So by this token, one of the reasons for suffering is related to sin. Sin leads to suffering and eventually… death.

Sometimes we experience natural, earthly consequences as a result of our choices to follow our own ways and ideas rather than God’s. We choose not to stay inside the fence of His protection and leave ourselves open for calamity. That’s one of the reasons for suffering in the world today.

But wait; there is still good news!

We serve a God of grace.

Even though Adam and Eve brought sin and suffering to the world, God did not leave them to suffer alone. Instead, He promised a Deliverer, the Messiah, who would one day restore man to a right relationship with Him.

Consider the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:10-32 -an ungrateful lad who left his father’s household to pursue his own desires, which led to his eventual ruin. But when he realized his mistake, his sin, his father welcomed him home with rejoicing! Not grudging acceptance, but rejoicing!

He was fully restored.

It’s the same for us, Chosen Children – no, even more so!

For if an earthly father could forgive an ungrateful son and welcome him home with full acceptance and even rejoicing, how much more can our perfectly loving Heavenly Father welcome us back when we make wrong choices?

So, even if we suffer for a while because of sin in our lives, God promises redemption and restoration. Although we may feel too ashamed to ask for His help, He willingly offers it!

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7-10

2. Suffering at the hand of Satan

~ For the Lord’s Glory

We also read in 1 Peter 5:8-9 that suffering and trials can be brought upon Christ-followers simply because we belong to the Lord.

Satan is God’s enemy and does not desire that we should exist in a harmonious relationship with God. 1 Peter describes him as prowling like a lion, seeking to devour.

Even the very world we live in is also our enemy because of our beliefs according to this passage in John.

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15:19

Thus, sometimes our suffering is a result of the enemy’s attacks.

Never was there a clearer picture of this type of suffering than the life of Job, a man who lived uprightly. Satan asked for permission to test his faith and the Lord granted it.

Why?

So that through his endurance, Job might bring glory to the Lord!

But the story doesn’t end there, friends. Because the Lord required the loss of Job’s family, possessions, and even his health, He also blessed Job abundantly by restoring him and adding to all that he had before.

And through it all, the Lord was glorified! Not only that, Job’s story continues to be an encouragement to others to this day.

What suffering have you endured that the Lord might want to use for His glory?

We sometimes like to hide away those painful things, but what if our restoration can only be found in surrendering those things to the Lord to do with as He pleases?

3. Suffering for Refined Faith

“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” Isaiah 48:10

In the Bible, we read that trials will refine our faith like precious metals are refined by fire.

Such suffering is not a punishment from the Lord, although it may feel like it at times. Rather, these trials are intended to grow our faith, to help us better understand who God is and who we are through Him.

Therefore, James 1:2-4 can admonish us to “count it all joy” when we suffer.

We can count it joy, not because the suffering is painless, but because we believe that God is faithful to use it for our benefit.

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ…” 1 Peter 1:6-7

Friends, our human perspective is skewed.

We see and live in the here-and-now.

Any present suffering feels bad, unbearable even.

But God’s view is all-encompassing because He is all-knowing and eternal.

God alone knows how something that looks bad can actually result in good for us.

He can also see how the lives we live today will not only affect those around us now, but also how our lives might affect generations upon generations to come.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (emphasis mine)

This, this right here is the light at the end of the tunnel, folks.

Not the deliverance, although we’ll certainly be grateful for that when it comes.

It’s the purpose: to know that we do not suffer in vain.

In the midst of your trial, remember you are not being punished by an angry God, but pruned and pursued by a loving God.

And, oh, the beauty of it all.

When He takes our insignificant pain and suffering and uses it to comfort others in need, I’m just in awe .

This is the God we serve, Who takes the ugly and make it beautiful,

Who turns weeping into rejoicing, pain into promise,

Who lifts up the humble,

Who chooses the weak,

Who redeems the sinner and exalts the unworthy!

He is the Lord and is worthy to be praised!

Take heart, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Whatever trial you are going through,

there is purpose in the pain.

Jen 🙂

While Sea Billows Roll: Waiting on the Lord

September 13, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 32 Comments

It’s more than a bad hair day and more than spilled milk. It’s one of “those” days, the ones you really do weep over, when wave after wave of some trial (new or old) sweeps over you as you struggle just to keep your head above water.

And just as you gain your feet, another waves swells up before you. In the midst of such trials, we can do little else than cry out for mercy, for deliverance.

Sometimes “those” days last longer than just a day or two, or even a week. Sometimes, we experience whole seasons of “those” days, whole seasons of trial, and illness, and heartache. Whole seasons of waiting on the Lord.

If you read regularly here, you know our family has been in the midst of such a season for a while now. I’ve been wanting to share with you all some of my “discussions” with the Lord about this spot He has us in, but I’ve honestly been confused about the message He’s trying to give me.

I don’t want to wallow in self-pity, but I do want to allow myself the grace to rest and recover when needed. I want to keep using those Grace-colored glasses He’s been teaching me about.

You see, it’s not just the practical and physical difficulties of a trial that make life on one of those days oh-so-difficult, but it’s the emotions that come along for the ride, too. I’m frustrated by the condition of my physical body and even by the condition of my fragile emotions. I’m feeling guilty that I cannot do the things I normally do, nor fill the roles I normally fill – mom, wife, friend, leader.

What I really wanted to give you was a how-to post: how to survive when Mom can’t be mom, but this is what came out instead…

How to Survive While You Are Waiting on the Lord

I do have a few ideas about that one, a few tips the Lord has been helping me with.

1. For instance, He’s been telling me to lower my expectations.

So what if the twins watch an extra hour of cartoons? So what if beds go unmade and the soccer shirts aren’t clean on game day? If at the of the day, we’re all fed and alive, then we’re surviving!

2. What about Teamwork – be a team with your spouse? Yes, that’s a good tip, too.

When I feel overwhelmed by circumstances in life, I often fight against my husband instead of with him. In return, I reap the added burden of marital strife to an already trying situation. So, teamwork is good, blaming my husband for my own limitations and frustrations is bad. Okay, I got that. 🙂

3. Resist Satan’s Lies – tip number three.

Of course, I know that in spite of my guilty feelings, I’m doing the best I can and that’s enough for the Lord. Of course I know that He promises to be my Deliverer.

But sometimes I just don’t want to wait for deliverance. I’d rather try to fix it myself, right?

Are you with me here?

4. Lean on the Lord for both physical and emotional strength. That’s another good one, right?

Chin up, soldier because God is on your side. If God is for us, who can be against us? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And all of the other platitudes we like to sprinkle about when someone is suffering a trial.

The Problem with Christian Platitudes for Those Who Are Waiting on the Lord

These statements and verses are all true – they really are -but sometimes they do little to comfort the weary soul.

Sometimes… instead of lifting us up, those verses and sayings make us feel like crummy Christians.

Because if I’m not “counting it all joy” every single day of this trial, then I’m once again failing somehow, am I not?

And what about “count your blessings,” which goes right along with “think of those less fortunate”? You know some days that really works for me. Most of the time, I can see all of the good things around me that the Lord has blessed me with. I can find the silver linings. I know that my temporary suffering pales in the face of what others have gone through before me, namely Jesus.

But other days I can count my blessings, think of others, and still feel frail. Some days I know I’m not clinging to joy, I’m not embracing peace, because I have no strength left to do so!

So while I sit and think on all of these good things I feel I should be doing to try to help myself in this season of trial, the waves grow all the stronger and more ominous around me.

Crashing, crashing, always crashing, this storm in my soul.

I feel like Jacob, wrestling with the Lord, and I wonder, what’s wrong with me?

Why can I not seem to overcome? Am I not obedient enough? Not trusting enough? Not hopeful enough? Have I sinned in some way I’m not aware of?

A Changed Perspective on Waiting on the Lord

Then, I read this post here about not having a formula for success in the midst of trial but just “hanging on for dear life” and this post here about resting in the mud, in the mess of it, because He’s willing to sit right there with us. I began to wonder if I was seeing it all wrong, if I was trying to earn favor rather than be willing to receive favor.

I’m beginning to hear a new song from the Lord, a refrain of comfort to my weary soul. His song tells of a Shelter in the storm, strength found less in doing and more in waiting, a peace gained not from a change in circumstance but from His very presence.

In my devotion time this week I feasted on these lines that seemed to be meant just for me:

“We must learn to wait on the Lord and look for His return…. As you wait on Him, you will discover that this attitude renews your spiritual strength, clears your perspective, and reduces your giant-sized problems to manageable size. Let David’s words become your marching orders: ‘Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.’” [Excerpt from Joy of Living Bible Studies: Hebrews, pg. 102]

What I Learned from Studying the Word “Wait”

In the original language, this word wait is qavah (pronounced kaw-vaw’) and is a verb meaning to look for, to wait for, to hope for. I found it even more interesting that the original meaning was one of binding together by twisting, as in a rope. (And here I am, dangling at the end of mine.)

I found that this verb is very active, not an idle sitting by the wayside, but an expectant waiting. We are to actively be on the “look out” for the Lord to work on our behalf. While we wait, qavah, we are also to be strong.

The phrase “be strong” from the Hebrew word chazaq (prounounced khaw-zak’) is also a verb. In essence, this chazaq is an also act, something done rather than a state of being. It was used numerous times in the Old Testament to describe a scene of supernatural strength: David vs. Goliath, Samson’s final act, Joshua’s entrance into the Promised Land. [NASB, Hebrew-Greek Keyword Study Bible]

So this being strong is an act that comes not from any natural or human means, but only from the Lord. Thus, it’s impossible for us to “be strong” in the chazaq sense on our own.

So, how does that look, practically speaking? I mean, how can I wait and be strong without striving and stressing?

I can be quick to meet Satan’s lies with truth from the Word. I can earnestly seek moments of joy in a day full of trials. I can watch to find His hand already at work in the situation and trust that it’s happening even if I can’t yet see it. I can speak words of hope.

I can earnestly seek moments of joy in a day full of trials. I can watch to find His hand already at work in the situation and trust that it’s happening even if I can’t yet see it. I can speak words of hope.

I can watch to find His hand already at work in the situation and trust that it’s happening even if I can’t yet see it. I can speak words of hope.

I can speak words of hope.

The Only Source of Strength While Waiting on the Lord

But it’s more than that, isn’t it? Because some days I don’t have it in me.

That’s the key right there – it’s not in me to wait and be strong. What is naturally in me is to despair, to cry “Mercy, Father, it’s too much!”

And maybe sometimes that’s just the best place to be: at the Father’s feet, completely undone, utterly dependent on Him alone. No strength of our own left. Completely at His mercy. Humbled and low-down. At the end of the proverbial rope.

I’ll be honest, that’s a really hard place to sit in.

I much prefer to jump up and busy myself doing something because at least then I feel useful. But what if that’s not what He desires? What if what He most desires is to hear me admit, I can’t do it, Father – I’m not capable – I need help?

I think the most difficult aspect of learning to walk a road of suffering is understanding when to “be still” and when to “soldier on.”

I still don’t have it figured out. I seem to pendulum swing between the two, trying to find that balance.

Some days I’m all “onward Christian soldiers” and others I’m moaning about like an Israelite, lost in the desert. 🙂

It’s all part of His work in progress in me.

So this is the heart of my struggle, really: what is it you require of me, Lord?

Here’s how I believe He’s answering me:

Daughter of mine, wait for Me. Listen for My voice. When it’s time to get up and walk, I will tell you. And when it’s time for you to sit and take rest at my feet, I will tell you. And when it’s time for me to carry you because you have absolutely nothing left to give, then I will carry you. Stop trying so hard and just rest in my embrace. No squirming now, not yet. Sit. Relax. Cry if you need to. Confess if you need to. Question if you need to. I’m big enough to handle all of that and more. Just let Me hold you because that’s all I really want. You, beloved daughter. I want you. Take heart; rescue WILL come, for I am the Faithful One, God of all Hope and Comfort. But for now, just wait.

Because the truth is that our Father God loves with a perfect love, so much more perfect than ours, and our best comfort is found in waiting on the Lord!

Which one of us mothers would look at wounded, heartbroken child and chide her for her tears? I’m not talking about tantrum tears or even repentance tears, but tears of helplessness and hurt. Does their sorrow not bring forth our very compassion?

And which one of us mothers would fail to come rushing to the aid of a child calling urgently for help? Which one of us would refuse to comfort and console? Which of us would leave that child to struggle alone?

We would not.

We cannot because our love compels us to respond. If this is the way we imperfect humans feel about our children, how much more so does our Father God have compassion for us, His beloved, chosen ones?

With that perspective, those crashing waves don’t seem so ominous anymore. They still knock me down from time to time, but maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly where I need to be.

Perhaps those waves of trial aren’t reaching up at my waist in order to suck me under and drown me, but to push me to a better shore. If I would just quit fighting them, give in, and ride the momentum, I’d find myself safely on the other side.

And there I can find the rest my soul is so desperate for.

My sister in Christ, if you’re struggling in the surf of suffering today, take heart.

You are not alone. Rescue is near. He welcomes you into His embrace and asks that you just sit a while.

Listen for His voice.

And keep waiting on the Lord.

Jen 🙂

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy:

http://sarahjofairchild.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/just-one-of-those-days-again/

I’ll also be linking up at any of these places.

Sharing with: Grace and Truth

One Unexpected Benefit of a Spiritual Fall

June 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 20 Comments

Oh how I wanted to skip this Five Minute Friday because I knew immediately what I needed to write about. And it’s oh-so-personal and painful. Like any painful thing, though, there can be beauty in the ending. So, I pray you will find the beauty here.

Fall.

Sometimes, when life circumstances or sin issues overcome us, we fall.

And so last Fall, I fell, and I fell hard.

After a long year of trying to sell our home, we spent the summer moving to a new town, with a culture all its own. It’s a small country town, and I love the quiet of it, the friendly feel of it. The summer was a whirlwind of remodeling and unpacking and general chaos.

So, when the long, quiet, isolated days of winter came and I had little to do but sit with my thoughts, I began to mourn.

I mourned for the family and friends who used to live nearby.

I mourned for our YMCA with its lovely child watch room.

I mourned for the fellowship of our previous church.

I mourned for my work-out buddy.

I mourned for the amazing children’s section of our old library, the convenience of grocery stores and Walmart, the trusted babyistters who lived nearby, and on and on.

At the same time, my marriage relationship was under a great deal of stress, so I was mourning the temporary loss of my best friend, as well. And as I sit here and write this, tears fall because the pain of loss was so, so great. It overwhelmed me.

I felt alone and abandoned, even by God.

And that’s when I fell.

I quit believing that He only allows things into my life that will be worked out for good. I quit believing that He was by my side, mourning right along with me. I failed to understand the purpose in His choice to remove almost every comfort from my life simultaneously.

Falling is hard.

It’s painful.

It brings sadness and shame along with it.

But on the other side of falling, is being picked up. Just like when my sweet little daughter falls and scrapes her leg. It hurts and we want the pain to go away, but there is also comfort there. There are loving arms to envelope us, to chase the sadness away.

Sometimes we fight those arms and we fail to find comfort. And that’s where I sat for a time. I blamed God for so many things in my life, even my own sin (gasp! yes, it’s true). But He never let go of me, even as I thrashed about and begged for release.

In a weird way, I’m glad I fell because it gave Him a chance to show me just how full His love is for me – that even when I’m downright nasty and ugly to Him, and sometimes even to those around me, He loves me anyway.

When you fall down, He picks you up.

Because He loves you anyway.

Praise the Lord!

Jen 🙂

Sharing with: Tell His Story, Tell It To Me Tuesdays, Wholehearted Wednesdays, A Little R & R Wednesdays

Five Minute Friday is a challenge, a free-writing exercise for bloggers. 5 minutes of writing with no editing, etc. If you’d like more information, check here: