How to Host Game Night with Young Children in Tow

September 2, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 12 Comments

I’ve read a lot lately about hospitality and how important it is for Christians to be reaching out to those in their community. One of the easiest ways for our family to entertain guests is to host a game night. We love playing games of all sorts, and game night gives us an opportunity to develop relationships with others in a relaxing environment.

Perhaps my favorite reason for hosting a game night is that there is no need to prepare a fancy meal for lots of people – just have each family bring a snack to share. You provide the dishes, and beverages. ( Honestly, ours are usually disposable – paper plates and plastic cups.) You don’t even need any special decorations, just table space! It’s the perfect way for someone like me, who is not gifted in the area of hospitality, to have people over. 🙂

However, sometimes hosting Game Night involves entertaining young children as well as adults. Even if you are having a family game night with just your family and attempting to play a game older children might enjoy, you still need something for younger children to do. Parents can’t play if kids aren’t occupied. 🙂

10 Tips for Hosting Game Night with Young Children in Tow:

Play their games. Depending on the age of the youngest children, choose a few games they can play and enjoy, too. See my post about Our Big List of Favorite Games for ideas on what games appeal to a wide range of ages.
Give them a role. If they cannot understand enough to play but want to be involved, give them a role to play in the game (handing out pieces, handing out money, etc.) or put them on someone’s “team.”
Give them their own pieces. If the children are too young for a role, give them their own pieces to play with next to the game (as long as they aren’t small enough to choke on). If the kids are young enough, they won’t even care if the pieces even go to the game you are playing. Cards especially seem to do the trick, and you can find children’s decks at the dollar store!
Give them child-friendly snacks. The peace will only last as long as the snacks do, but fun snacks will buy at least a little time before you have to move on to something else. Some of our favorite kid-friendly snacks are goldfish crackers, bite-sized cookies, grapes, cucumbers, pretzel sticks, cheese, etc. Finger foods are fun for children, but I would avoid any messy snacks.
Give them their own game space. This approach works best if you have more than one child who cannot play because they can help entertain each other (one of the many benefits of having twins!). Be sure to give them an activity they can do on their own with little to no help from mom or dad. If they are old enough, you might give them a game of their own to play, especially if an older child can help. Other activities such as playdoh, coloring, puzzles, building, etc. will provide distraction, too.
Put an older child in charge of entertaining the younger children. Some older children may not find this appealing, but on occasion, our oldest really enjoys entertaining the littles. He is really great at using his imagination to make up pretend games for them and other children, too. Of course, now he’s getting to the age where he would rather play along with the adults, but our middle son is just now starting to entertain from time to time, as well, although not for a long period of time. If older children are not an option, then….
Hire babysitters. If you have no older children to entertain the young ones, consider hiring family members or youth from church for the job. This is especially helpful if you have a separate area, such as a playroom or a finished basement where the kids can hang out. Even a child’s bedroom will work! Parents are nearby and still on hand if any major issues arise.
Pull out the “company” toys. In our home, we have a few toys that seem to be popular when there is a whole group of children in the house. Some of them, we save specifically for special occasion use. One is our set of Playhut tents (they are pop-up type tents and tunnels that connect). Another is the basket of dress-up clothes (I add to this each year after Halloween when the costumes go on 75% off clearance or when I find them at garage sales!). Duplo blocks or Legos (depending on age) are toys that groups of children can play with together (Duplo blocks or the off-brand Megablocks are easy to find at garage sales, too). We also have a play kitchen with pretend food that has seen a lot of use. These “company” toys should be toys that multiple children can play with at the same time in order to avoid disagreements. Also, be sure to put away any toys that you foresee causing problems, such as our boys’ star wars lightsabers. Any time we have company, those end up in the closet because they seem to cause accidental injuries. 🙂 In addition, you’ll want to put away any favorite toys that are special to your children.
When all else fails, we put on a movie! Usually, this is a last resort when other techniques aren’t working or when it’s too close to bedtime but the parents aren’t done playing yet. 🙂 If you don’t have children of your own, be aware that very young children often won’t sit for an entire movie. In fact, they might not be interested in it at all! Usually by the time we decide to put in a movie, it’s bedtime for the younger ones, so we offer it as entertainment for any older children. It helps to have a movie that the children haven’t seen very often or recently.
Put them to bed. When our twins were babies, we either had to take turns playing games or wait until their naptime or bedtime. In fact, at first we would only host game nights close to those times so that we could enjoy our company. If your friends have young children, too, you could always offer another bedroom or space for their children to sleep if needed. It’s a great idea to hang on to at least one pack-n-play, even after your children have outgrown it, for times like this.

I hope these tips inspire you to try out family game night or to host friends or neighbors for a game night party of your own! It really is possible to host and still have fun even when young children are involved, as long as you know what to expect and how to help the kids have fun as well. If you’ve never hosted a game night before, I suggest starting small with another couple or family that you know well. Then, you can work up to multiples couples or families at once! Game night really is a great way to build fellowship with neighbors, with friends, with family, with small groups, with Sunday school classes, and more. Why wait?

Jen 🙂

I may be linking up at any of the blogs listed on my Favorite Link-ups tab.

Practicing Patience with Preschoolers

August 26, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 24 Comments

It’s the longest hour of the day, that chaotic stretch of time when naps have ended but supper isn’t ready yet and Daddy won’t be home for another sixty minutes.

In our home, it’s often a time of crankiness and whining and neediness and hunger and all too often, a time of mom’s frustration.

The older boys are home from school, so the seven-year-old needs help with homework and the teen needs a permission slip signed. The twins are rubbing sleep from their eyes and asking for snacks or juice or just to be held. I’m trying to find the motivation to start supper preparations, but one twin is clinging to my leg and the other is crying for some unknown reason in the next room.

What’s a mama to do?

I’m ashamed to say that this mom’s reaction can often be a sharp, “Everyone. BE. PATIENT!!” followed by a mini-rant of my own about how I only have two hands and they are both full and can’t they just wait for a few minutes because I can’t help everyone at one time!

Why is it that a request to be patient or wait creates the exact opposite effect than what parents desire to see in their children?

I think most children who hear “be patient” or “just wait” see it as an immediate no.

They feel we have not acknowledged their needs and are, in effect, just ignoring them. So, they ask again…and again…and again…almost infinitely.

As an adult who sometimes (ok, maybe often) struggles with impatience herself, I feel for my children when they have to wait. However, I know that they need to learn patience in order to survive in the real world, and preschoolers are the perfect age to start practicing patience.

The reason I say “practice” is that patience, like any other virtue, takes time to learn. Patience is also something we must intentionally teach to our children, not something they will magically acquire on their own.

And in this day and age, I think we can all agree that patience seems to be lacking in our society!

7 Ways to Practice Patience with Preschoolers:

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1. Model patience yourself.

I know you saw this one coming! 🙂 Young children are excellent imitators, and unfortunately sometimes that backfires on us parents. Our middle child was a very impatient little guy, even from birth. During his toddler years, I spent many days questioning my ability to parent him to adulthood, seriously.

One day, he was even more impatient than usual, and I found myself throwing a little fit right back at him, asking why he couldn’t just BE PATIENT. As soon as the whiny words left my mouth, I realized I was being just as impatient with him as he was being with me. How could he possibly learn to be patient when his mama was not?

Another way to provide models for your children is to read books about being patient with them. This one is a favorite with our youngest two children!

2. Change your speech.

When multiple children (or even just one particularly persistent child) make requests at the same time and you already have your hands full, what is your response? As you read above, my first response is typically frustration over my inability to help all four children at the same time. What if, instead of a frustrated command to be patient, my children heard me talk excitedly about an opportunity to practice a new skill?

What if instead of frowning or scowling, I smiled at them (even if I’m not smiling on the inside) and said, “Let’s practice being patient! Who can do a really good job waiting quietly for mommy while she finishes this job? We’ll use our words instead of whining, and we’ll wait until mommy’s hands are free. Who can practice patience for me?”

Or, what if we used the word “choose,” especially with children who are older. Instead of a pert command to be patient, I can remind them that they have a choice about their feelings. They can choose patience rather than frustration. (And so can the mama!)

3. Distract them.

Although preschoolers are experts at wanting things, they are also fairly easy to distract (in comparison to older children). Ask your children to find another activity while they are waiting. Although you might make a few suggestions, put the responsibility for occupying themselves on their shoulders, not yours.

When I’m cooking supper, I might say something like, “Why don’t you practice patience by coloring while you wait for mommy.” If they don’t like my suggestion, then I let them know it will be up to them to find something to do.

4. Give young children a timeline.

While preschoolers are beginning to grasp the concept of time, they really can’t understand what minutes or hours or days are yet. In their minds, ten minutes might as well be two hours, and that feels like a long time for a preschooler!

Even worse is the indefinite response of “Just wait.” However, if you relate those minutes or hours to scheduled events they are already familiar with, then they can understand how long they will have to wait.

For example, if we are going to the playground later in the day, but one of my children wants to leave now, then I would tell them we’re going after nap-time. Use phrases like after this song, when you wake up from sleeping, after snack, when I finish this basket of laundry, and so forth, that give them more tangible ideas of the time frame they are dealing with. If it’s going to be a particularly long wait, I give them multiple time markers, as in: first mommy has to vacuum the floor, then we’ll pick up toys, and then we get to go to the park.

I wish I would have known about this kind of kid-friendly timer when our children were younger, but I’m considering purchasing one still for our youngest boy, who has some special needs. I like how it gives a visual cue (other than numbers) as well as an auditory cue, and it would save me from answering repeated questions about “How many more minutes?” 🙂

5. Remind them.

Let’s see if this scenario sounds familiar. “Mommy can I watch cartoons? Can I have more milk? Can I have a cookie? Can I? Can I? Can I?” Preschoolers have many wants. As a mom, I know it’s not healthy for me to indulge all of those wants.

So, while I’m imposing limits, instead of just saying no or wait (for an indefinite amount of time), I like to remind them of what they have already had. “You already watched cartoons. Now it’s time to play.” “You already had a glass of milk, but you may have water.” “I already played with you this morning, but I’ll play with you again after nap-time.”

6. Sing the “Have Patience” song.

I don’t know who wrote the “Clean Up” song, but that person deserves an award! It’s like magic! You don’t even have to tell children to pick up toys because when they hear it, they automatically know what to do. The lesser known “Have Patience” song (by Music Machine) can have a similar effect if you use it consistently.

First of all, singing in general, tends to lighten the mood. Second, the song reminds children of the behavior you would like to see. You can find the “Have Patience” song here. I only sing the chorus with the kids (and it is fun to speed it up as you repeat!).

You can also buy your own copy for use at home, in the car, etc. It’s currently on my wishlist!

7. Praise them lavishly!

At this age, children are often eager to please, so positive reinforcement usually works more effectively than negative. If you see your children actively practicing patience, then tell them how much you appreciate their hard work (because it IS hard to wait, isn’t it?)! Praise often enough that they are encouraged to continue practicing patience up to the very end.

For example, if halfway through a waiting period, I notice my daughter growing restless or whining, I will praise her for the good job she has done so far and ask her to continue. I might even draw her attention to how little time is left. Many times, the magic is in the phrasing!

Patience is a virtue worth instilling in young hearts, but it’s not an easy task. Learning patience takes time and consistency. It also takes a mama who is willing to look at herself and ask, “Am I a patient person?”

Of course, we cannot expect perfection. I’m going to suggest that we learn to be content with imperfect progress in the area of patience (to borrow a phrase from Lysa Terkeurst’s book Unlgued).

As long as we are consistently moving forward in the bigger picture (even if sometimes we move back), then we are progressively working toward patience in our homes.

And in my opinion, a patient family is a peaceful family!

Jen 🙂

When is it most difficult for your children to have patience?

Firsts Lead to Lasts

August 23, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Due to my recent injury at Buttkill Falls, I’ve had extra time to ponder life, and when that happens, I tend to get a bit nostalgic. 🙂 Maybe it’s because I’m currently medicated, or maybe it’s because I’m missing out on some family life lately. For whatever reason, when I’m separated from my people, I tend to think about them more. I miss them. I appreciate them.

I miss them. I appreciate them.

I appreciate them.

As I’m resting and pondering, and thinking about how quickly the first day of school came this year, I realize that we’re about to enter a new season of life as parents. We have just one more year left with littles at home, and one year before our oldest enters high school. For thirteen years now, I’ve been a mostly stay-at-home mom, but what will I do when all of these firsts lead to lasts?

First smiles and first steps.

First days of school and first solo bike rides.

First baby food and first big kid beds.

First instruments and first crushes.

So many firsts that we’ve been blessed with.

But these firsts lead to lasts, and what will a born-to-be-a-mama girl do when all of her children are at school for the day? It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

It seems like these lasts come oh-so-quickly.

Last days of kindergarten and last days of twin high chairs.

Last days of baby clothes and last days of soccer on Saturdays.

Last days of sweet toddler cheeks and last days of bedtime stories.

The truth is, the lasts stink. I know I’ll miss them. But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts. Firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

But those firsts that led to lasts will once again lead to firsts – firsts like driver’s licenses and shaving and so much more independence.

And while my children are enjoying a whole new world of lasts followed by firsts, I’ll be opening up to a whole new world of firsts, too.

In the meantime, I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Jen 🙂

It’s Five Minute Friday again! We gather together over at Lisa-Jo’s blog and free-write for five minutes on a single word prompt. No planning, no editing, just writing. It’s glorious freedom! If you want to know more, join us at: http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/

Why Families Should Play Games

August 18, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 31 Comments

We love games! Perhaps this love of game-playing stems from my MK (missionary kid) roots – no tv, no electricity, but we did have board games! Perhaps the love for games also comes from many years of working with youth groups. Perhaps the teacher in me just loves being able to engage young brains in learning activities that are fun and entertaining for the whole family.

I’m sure all of those reasons come into play in one way or another. Over the years family game night has been something we all look forward to, and I think more families could benefit from it as well! Even those who don’t have their own families can enjoy similar benefits by playing games with those they have relationships with (friends, neighbors, other relatives, church family).

Quality family time. We play games together and laugh together. Sometimes, we even get mad at each other. 🙂 Often family game time results in more than just playing a game to win. While we play, we relate to one another and focus in on one another. Playing games together leads to a lot of good conversation and sometimes even leads to family jokes that last well beyond game time. Years later, whenever I hear certain phrases, like “rooooo-aaaaaaddd,” I’m instantly taken back to some awesome family memories. Some games have even become part of our family identity (Settlers of Catan, for example, is simply known as “The Game” in our household). Why not build game-play into your family identity?
Media-free entertainment. Yes, I’m one of “those” moms. Even before our children were born, I knew I didn’t want them to spend a lot of time in front of the tv. My husband and I have compromised by allowing tv, but with time limits. So, we try to find other ways to encourage our children to entertain themselves when they are bored. On rainy days, wintery days, or long summer days of boredom, why not break out a board game or card game?
Frugal entertainment. Other than the initial cost of a game, and perhaps some snack food, you can entertain a whole house full of people for very little. In fact, we’ve entertained guests with games that you don’t even have to pay for, such as Mafia (a story-telling, role-playing, whodunnit? type of game). Family Fun nights are often game nights when the budget doesn’t allow for taking out a family of six. Also, My husband and I even have mini-dates at home on occasion when the kiddos are sleeping by playing Battleship or other two-player games.
Learning new skills. Playing games is not only entertaining, but it can also teach your children new skills, such as counting, matching, planning, developing strategy, problem-solving, and more. The bonus? It’s so much fun, your children won’t even realize they are learning. 🙂
Learning sportsmanship. Children have to learn how to be good sports, whether they are winning or losing. We have one child in particular who is extremely competitive and really struggles with emotions in general. What a perfect opportunity to model good sportsmanship for him and his siblings during family game night. Additionally, playing together as a family gives children multiple opportunities to make mistakes and grow in the safety and comfort of their own home.
Learning about others. Whether with family or friends, playing games with others is a great way to get to know them better! When people are relaxed, they are more open and honest about who they really are as people. One thing our guests are sure to learn about us when playing games is that some of us are more than just a little competitive and that we all like to laugh! I especially enjoy playing games with my husband. It brings out the silly side in each of us and gives us an opportunity to tease each other, much like the flirting of our early dating relationship. Game playing fosters a feeling of friendship between us that is important for two busy parents who sometimes end up feeling more like business partners than soul mates. 🙂

I’m certain there are other reasons for playing games together, as well, but these are our favorites. I’m happy to know that my children enjoy playing board games just as much as they enjoy playing video games. Although, I have to also admit that on occasion, family game night does revolve around the wii (Mario Kart, anyone?). 🙂 The main idea is just to take time to play together. It’s an investment in your relationships that will multiply endlessly. As our children grow older, we enjoy family game time more and more!

Be sure to check out Our Big List of Favorite Games for ideas on great games for the whole family. The list is even organized by age and group size!

The family that plays together stays together…..or something like that, right? I’m putting family game night on the schedule for this week or next.

Will you join me?

Jen 🙂

How does your family enjoy games? What are your favorites?

Present (A Five Minute Friday post)

August 7, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 2 Comments

This week we’re on family vacation!! 🙂 So, I’m sharing an older Five Minute Friday post that never saw the light of day. As such, it is not a true 5 minute friday because I never finished it (for more information on FMF, see the end of the post). So, it has been editted. 🙂

Present is…

a campfire glowing on a warm summer evening,

lightning bugs captive in a glass jar,

faces sticky with marshmallow.

Present is choosing to look when my littlest son says, “Look, Mom! I caught budderfwy,”

and laughing when I see that it’s really another lightning bug.

But he’s so proud and his smile is so wide that I haven’t the heart to tell him differently.

Instead I exclaim over its beauty and his bravery.

And I choose to be present by putting the camera away.

Present is sometimes peace, sometimes chaos, but always worthwhile.

Present is a gift, not the kind that you open, but one that you give with your time, your attention,

your eye-contact, your helping hands and your listening heart.

It’s laughing at seven-year-old jokes that don’t make sense and listening to four-year-old speak you can’t understand.

It’s helping the teenager find a missing item and looking at your husband when he comes in the door, even if you’re busy.

Present is patient. Present is loving. Present is giving.

Let’s choose to be present.

Jen 🙂

What reminds you to be present?

On Five Minute Fridays, we all write furiously for 5 minutes on a word-prompt given to us by Lisa-Jo Baker. Come join us!

9 Ways to Sneak in Veggies

July 1, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 39 Comments

What mom wouldn’t like her children to eat more of those healthy, vitamin-bearing vegetables? If only it was easy to get kids to like vegetables in the first place!

When our firstborn was a baby (13 years ago now), I thought I did everything I could to encourage veggie-loving in his diet. When he started baby food, I fed him vegetables first, not fruit. When he disliked a veggie, I would sneak it between bites of fruit or sometimes even mix the two. He ate many vegetables in mushy baby food form, but when it was time for finger foods, he balked. Alas, veggie-loving just does not come naturally to him, nor does it for many children.

With the birth of our second child, I determined to work even harder to create a love (okay, at least a tolerance) for veggies. And then the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, decided to bless us with a strong-willed, picky eater. 🙂 However, I learned much from dealing with his picky eating phase, a phase that felt like an eternity! By the time our twins came along, I had a much better idea of how to get those all-important vegetables in.

So, today on Mama Mondays, I offer you this list of 9 ways to sneak in those dreaded veggies!

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Start from the very beginning.

I’m talking from within the womb! Researchers claim that babies begin to develop tastes for foods before they are even born. Taste buds develop around 21 weeks, at which point baby receives a flavoring of what mama eats via the amniotic fluid. So, if you want your child to grow up loving vegetables, start eating more of them yourself. Not only will this make for a healthier pregnancy, but you’ll also be more likely to feed your children foods that you already frequently consume when they get to the finger food stage. Too late for this tip? It’s never too late to start leading by example in the area of vegetable consumption! You can even practice sneaking in vegetables on yourself first. 🙂
Offer veggies first!

We’re all familiar with the fact that most children will eat the things they like most first and save the least favorite for last. Even adults do it. 🙂 If your children fill up on foods they like, getting them to eat those remaining vegetables will be even more difficult. On the other hand, if you offer the veggies first when they’re still hungry, they’ll be more likely to at least try a few bites.
Slice, dice, or even puree!

This might be obvious to some of you, but it wasn’t to me thirteen years ago. The smaller the veggies are, the less offensive they are to sensitive palates. My all-time favorite, couldn’t-live-without-it kitchen tool is my food chopper. If I place a nice helping of normal sized broccoli in front of my youngest son, he’ll immediately turn up his nose. However, if I chop that broccoli to bits, he’s more willing to eat it – especially if it is combined with another food or a sauce. This is my absolute favorite method for sneaking in vegetables! I know some moms who add pureed butternut squash and other veggies to the famous toddler favorite, Mac’n’cheese. The possibilities are endless when you dice and then ….disguise.
Disguise those veggies.

I looooove casseroles/slow-cooker meals for many reasons: only one dirty pan, time to do other chores while food is baking, etc. But my biggest reason for serving up lots and lots of casseroles is because it allows me to sneak in a lot of vegetables that my children wouldn’t eat alone. I add petite diced tomatoes, finely diced onions and mushrooms, and sometimes even bell peppers to spaghetti sauce and chili. I add California blend (diced, of course) to our chicken divan. If we have scalloped potatoes, you bet I’ll be hiding some veggies in there. Shepherd’s pie, homemade potpie, even fried rice – all of these dishes are veggie-friendly! You can even hide veggies within other veggies. How, you ask? If I gave my 7-year-old purple cabbage to eat, I’m sure he would run the other way. But he eats it in a salad, along with pieces of fresh radish and spinach. Twice baked potatoes, anyone? Stuffed bell peppers? Use whatever method works for sneaking in vegetables that your kids will learn to love!
Substitute veggies for other starches.

In addition to hiding veggies, I’ve recently learned how to substitute vegetables for pasta and potatoes. The spaghetti I mentioned above? Instead of pasta, use strings of baked spaghetti squash. The shepherd’s pie? Instead of potatoes, used mashed cauliflower. For chili broth, I use low-sodium V8 juice (and then I add even more veggies).
Add cheese, sauce, or dip.

Although this method can easily turn healthy veggies into big calorie veggies, when used in moderation, it’s an effective technique. We have a son who loooves condiments of all kinds, so I’ve learned to offer a small amount with his fresh vegetables. Low-fat cheese works well with cooked vegetables. We do whatever it takes to sneak in those vitamin-packed vegetables!
Offer a variety.

As I mentioned in How to Make Food Fun, research supports that offering a variety can lead children to eat more of a single food group than they realize, especially if the variety is colorful. For example, if you offer bell peppers, offer multiple colors of bell peppers. If you’re offering broccoli, why not offer California blend instead. A variety of vegetables gives children choices, as well, and we all know they love the power of choice! 🙂
Try, try, and try again…and then some more.

As a rookie mom, I had no idea how many times young children need to try a food before deciding whether they like it or not. But when our picky eater came along, I learned that children may need to try a food 10-15 times before making up their minds about it. It makes sense really! One day Johnny loves peas, and the next day he’ll have nothing to do with them. Often, we give up too soon on new foods and assume that they just don’t like them. Even if your child has repeatedly demonstrated dislike for a particular vegetable, tastes can change over time. It never hurts to pull a rejected veggie out after a few months and try it again!
Find the Why behind the “No.”

Sometimes there is a reason behind a child’s refusal of a food other than a dislike for the taste. I saw this clearly when our twins began to eat finger foods. Our daughter began to refuse banana, a fruit she previously loved mashed up. At first, I was baffled. One day I saw her try to pick up a piece of banana and she made the most disgusted face ever. It wasn’t the taste of the banana, but the sticky texture she was objecting to. I happily fed them to her from a spoon until she learned to use a spoon herself. Consider physical reasons for refusal as well, whether it be a texture issue (I still cannot eat beans unless they are pureed) or a possible food allergy. Once you understand any sensory issues, you will have no trouble sneaking in vegetables that your child won’t react to!

There you have it: Nine ways to sneak in more veggies. One last helpful hint – you can even use these tips on husbands – true story! 🙂

If you have a clever way to sneak in veggies, pretty please share with us in the comments.

Jen 🙂

If you found this article helpful, you might also enjoy:

6 Principles for Picky Eaters

How to Make Food Fun

How to Make Food Fun!

June 11, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 7 Comments

Yesterday I shared with you 6 Principles for Picky Eaters, including our pediatrician approved Toddler Technique for mealtime. Learning how to deal with toddler stubbornness over food relieved a lot of stress for us! So today, I want to add some detail to one of those principles: Make food fun.

Let the kids help!

If having children underfoot in the kitchen absolutely drives you batty (and honestly, some days this is me), then let them set the table if they are old enough, or let them help plan the menu for the week. Research shows that the more involved children are in any process, the more likely they are to take ownership of it. The more ownership they take, the more cooperative they become. Even if all your children can do is bring you a spoon to stir with or put out napkins, etc., encourage them to get involved in the process.

As a mama who easily falls into “maintain control” mode, I can see how kids in the kitchen might seem like a recipe for stress. However, if I prepare myself mentally ahead of time for the extra mess and potential disasters, I’m much more likely to enjoy the time spent cooking with my children. That said, some days I just prefer to cook alone. 🙂

Be an artist!

This is an area that I’m still growing in, but we all know that even adults enjoy food that is more visually appealing (it’s all about the presentation). If you want more ideas on how to get creative with food, check out my parenting board on pinterest. While I’m not confident in my abilities to reproduce the more intricate results, the more simple pins are probably doable. They are at least inspiring me to get a little more creative.

A good place to start is to arrange food into different shapes (make a smiley face) or to make sure the plate contains what nutritionists refer to as “a rainbow of color” with various shades of fruits and veggies. Additionally, you could add food coloring to bread dough, mashed potatoes, rice, pasta, or soup for fun.
Take advantage of holidays and create holiday-inspired plates of food. I even have a really creative friend who, once a month or so, creates a themed meal complete with décor!
Research validates that the more colorful the plate is, the more interested children will be in eating and even in trying new foods. Did you know that people presented with a bowl of multi-colored m&ms will eat more in one sitting than those who are presented with bowl of m&ms that are all the same color?
We can use this mind trick to our advantage with fruits and veggies! 🙂 If you offer multiple colors, you’re likely to see the kids eating more in one sitting. Think about it: would you rather eat a cup of raw carrots only, or a cup of mixed raw veggies such as carrots, cucumbers, celery, broccoli, bell peppers, and so on? I would definitely eat more if more than one veggie was available at a time.

Tell a story about the food or play “let’s pretend” with it.

We once told our twins that raw broccoli trees were really dinosaur food, and it worked – for a few meals at least. (Be sure to be honest about made-up stories, though, or you’ll be busted for lying when your children get older and wiser). We also tell all of our children how important healthy food is for their bodies – vitamin C helps keep you healthy, protein gives you energy, fiber helps you poop, and so forth. I guarantee if you have young boys and you mention poop, they’ll eat that fiber in a heartbeat!! 😉

Once, our middle child practically inhaled a bag of carrots within the span of a few days because he wanted to improve his vision (I think he read about it at school).
When stories or facts don’t work, get silly. For example, I encouraged a boy I was babysitting to eat a sandwich he didn’t really like by telling him to eat it like Cookie Monster would. Maybe even tell your children to make noises while eating– it will make them laugh! Remember Ralphie’s little brother from A Christmas Story eating like a pig?? 🙂 I’m not sure I personally would go to that extreme, but it’s the right idea.

Make the table a fun, family-oriented place.

Our four kiddos love suppertime because we are all together at the table (most nights). It’s a time when everyone gets to share a story or a joke and each child has his or her own moment in the spotlight. We talk a lot. We laugh a lot. And while they’re busy laughing, they’re eating! Unless of course, things get a little too crazy. But most of the time, having fun at the table keeps them interested in staying longer and at the same time, strengthens our family bond. Win, win!

Picky Eaters can easily drain the joy from mealtimes, if we allow them to. My husband and I decided years ago that we wanted to be able to enjoy family mealtime with our children. In order to accomplish that goal, we had to first do some training and disciplining in so we could have peace at the table.

It took quite a bit of time and a lot of consistent effort, but I’m happy to report that mealtime battles are very rare in our house anymore, even with our preschoolers! 🙂 (I cannot however claim that they are non-existent. Everyone has an off day now and then and children especially like to randomly challenge previously established boundaries.) Now we look forward to those evening meals together and can focus more on that funny thing our middle child just said rather than on what is or isn’t being eaten.

I hope you are able to employ some of these tips in order to make mealtime less stressful at your house! The older my children get, the more I realize that these early years pass all too quickly. Thus, it’s important to do the necessary training in order to be able to enjoy these years to the fullest (although, I realize there are some moments that are just NOT enjoyable whatsoever). 🙂

While I still have your attention, let me also humbly admit that I am not a perfect mom. I’m not even perfect in the parenting boundaries that I myself have agreed to, along with my husband. Sometimes I break the “rules.” Sometimes I’m so weary of battling that I choose to surrender for the night. We can always try again tomorrow, right? 🙂

If you struggle with feeling like you just aren’t doing things right, please take some time to read The Superwoman Myth or Peaceful Parenting, No Thanks to Pinterest. Moms are so hard on themselves, and I definitely don’t want to put unnecessary pressure on a mama who is already at her limit!

These are simply techniques that I found helpful for our family, but each family is different and each child is different. What works for us may or may not work for you! If mealtime is still a battle at your house, don’t give up; find a solution that works for you. 🙂

Do you have a great tip for how to make food fun? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Happy Eating,

Jen 🙂

6 Principles for Picky Eaters

June 10, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 47 Comments

We’ve all experienced it: the transformation of that babbling baby who happily ate all of the baby food groups into the terrible toddler who only wants to eat crackers.

Every parent deals with picky eaters because every child goes through a picky eating phase.

Of course, some children take picky eating to more of an extreme level than others! Our firstborn was easy, our second was challenging, and our third and fourth (twins) offered another perspective altogether.

Nevertheless, how we react to this picky eater phase (much like any other phase) helps determine whether our children remain stuck in that phase or whether they grow through it.

Thus, I offer you these picky eater tips based on my thirteen-plus years of parenting so far.

6 Principles for Picky Eaters

1. Decide ahead of time where you’ll draw the line and stick to it!

If you first set out with the goal of having your child eat all of her veggies and later decided that’s too difficult, your child may see this as a sign of weakness. Any sign of weakness will lead to a doubled effort on the child’s part to break you – seriously. At the first glimpse of weakness, your tiny tyrant will “seize the day” and your picky eaters will suddenly become that much more difficult.

2. Use the “Try at least one bite” rule

This rule came directly from my mother, and I find it very suitable still. At our house, the kids are not allowed to turn down an entire plate of food, especially something new, without even tasting it. Even now that they are older, every food group must be at least tasted before they are allowed to reject it.

When he was a toddler, our middle child became so adept at turning down food, that I feared he would be adversely affected. However, when I mentioned my mommy fears to our seasoned pediatrician, he just smiled knowingly and kindly pointed out that my toddler was perfectly chubby and wasn’t going to “starve” any time soon. It was our doctor’s obvious revelation that gave me permission to wait our strong-willed toddler out. Here’s the doctor-approved technique we used:

Offer the plate several times, giving the child a few minutes to try in between. Be on your toes during this phase. If it lasts too long, you’re likely to experience the ceremonial dumping of the plate. 😉

If the food is repeatedly refused, take it away and end mealtime altogether. (This step will prevent much frustration for everyone – including older children – and can even prevent irritations such as plate dumping, fit throwing, cup tossing, etc.)

Remove child from highchair or table with the reminder that the food will be waiting when he or she is hungry.

Cover the plate with plastic wrap and refrigerate if necessary.

Re-heat whenever the child asks for food and offer plate again. If your child is very strong-willed and you don’t want to reheat the food often, show the child the plate. Tell the child if he or she is hungry, this is what he or she can have. If he or she immediately refuses, don’t even bother re-heating.

If the food is again refused, put it back in the fridge.

Repeat cycle until the child eats (how much is up to you) or until bedtime. Most children will break down and eat it when they get hungry enough. However, I once re-heated a plate FIVE times within the space of two hours for our middle child. So, don’t be surprised if your child continues to test until the process is well-established!

Important Note: absolutely NO snacks or milk should be given in the meantime (only water). This was per our pediatrician’s advice, and it makes sense. A glass of milk is more than enough to satisfy hunger pains for an hour or two, especially for small children. By caving in with a little bit of milk or even a single cracker, you will undo all of your hard work thus far. (Obviously if your child has a medical condition that does not allow for depriving them, follow your own doctor’s advice.)

Above all, be consistent! I cannot emphasize that enough. Once we started using this technique, we rarely had to employ it after the first few victories. Toddlers and Preschoolers alike are quick to learn when we are consistent in our parenting.

*Disclaimer: this technique doesn’t work as well when that stubborn toddler becomes a sly four-year-old. One day, we set out the plate at lunch time and had to put it back in the fridge. We got it out at snack time and put it back. We got it back out at supper time and put it back. We got it out once more at bedtime, at which point my son grinned wickedly and said, “But I won’t have to eat it for breakfast.” Well-played, son, well-played. I decided to let him have his small victory, but he still went to bed hungry. It hasn’t happened since then. 🙂

*Disclaimer #2: This technique should only be used for healthy children! Please see the note of caution at the end of the article

3. Create a test

Especially for your picky eaters, create a test to see if your child is truly full, or if they just don’t want to eat what’s in front of them. If our children are asking for more of something they liked (or for dessert), but they haven’t eaten the other items on their plates, I ask them to finish the majority of the other items first.

For example, our daughter loooooves bread. When presented with a plate of half of a sandwich, fruit, and fresh veggies, she will often eat the bread and the fruit, leaving the meat and the veggies. Then, she’s likely to ask for more bread or more fruit. We make her eat the majority of what she left behind (the meat and veggies) before giving her more of what she desires.

Tip: I use a similar method when my children ask for seconds of an unhealthy treat or snack. “If you’re really still hungry, have some carrots.” If they eat the carrots, they were really hungry and they ate a healthy snack. If not, then they weren’t hungry and just wanted more cake, cookies, etc. Children are often smarter and more devious than we realize!)

4. Use the “take ______more bites” rule.

If one of our children wants to be excused from the table, but I can see they haven’t eaten very much of their meal, or very much of their veggies, I usually insist on at least a few more bites. I only do this if they’ve eaten less than half of the portion. Most times, they are able to stomach at least a few bites of whatever food group they’ve chosen to reject.

Start with a lower number of bites and then increase the amount as they grow older. An alternate method would be to divide the portion in half and ask them to eat only one half. This method works well with older children.

*Disclaimer: if your child is visibly gagging on the food, think long and hard about whether or not you want to clean up a pile of puke before you choose to enforce this rule. I’ve learned through experience that sometimes, they just CAN’T eat the foods we’d like them to – it’s not a matter of disobedience or control, but rather an uncontrollable physical response to a particular taste or texture. Again, see the note of caution at the end of the article.

5. Make it fun!

Remember when your stubborn child was a smiling baby and you would makes spoonfuls of baby food into airplanes, or choo-choo trains, etc.? Remember that baby smushing food on the high chair tray and running a finger through piles of goo? But to the stubborn toddler we say, “quit playing with your food” or “sit still and take a bite.”

Now, I’m all for table manners, but somewhere along the line, we parents often quit making food fun! If you make food fun, or even the eating experience itself fun, your child is likely to stay at the table longer and eat more of that healthy food you worked so hard to prepare (or at least arrange on a plate). How do I make food fun, you ask? Tune in tomorrow for a short post on Making Food Fun! 🙂

6. Be patient

OR…. Win the war, not the battle. Naturally, patience is the last thing on your mind when your picky child dumps his or her plate for the second, third.. seventy-fifth…time of the day. Many of my most desperate prayers for patience were inspired by mealtime battles with our middle child. However, take a moment to remind yourself that this is only a phase. You may lose battles here and there, but the goal is to win the war!

In retrospect, I think the mantra for all mamas of small children should be, “This too shall pass” because it is true. The parenting problems that so often seem unbearable today will be gone tomorrow, replaced by a new phase with its own set of problems.

If we can keep the years of picky eating in perspective, we realize that there is no need to stress about our children’s eating habits. All we can do is our best to encourage them to make healthy eating choices, and then we have to trust God with the rest.

If you’re looking for tips specifically on how to include veggies in the diet without a fuss, read our 9 Ways to Sneak In Veggies!

I hope you find these picky eater tips helpful. If you have a tip to share with the rest of us, leave a comment!

Jen 🙂

*Reader Kimberly makes an excellent point – if your child is extremely picky, please consult your physician! There may be underlying physical issues, such as food allergies or intolerances, that are causing the trouble. Thanks, Kimberly! 🙂

Enjoyed this article? Check out this post on how to keep those picky eaters happy during meal-prep.

Sharing this post with: How Do You Do It? and #TheLoft

Five Minute Friday: Imagine

May 31, 2013 by stultsmamaof4 17 Comments

Imagine.

Imagine a home filled with three rowdy, laughing boys and one daughter with a giggle high and light.

In that home you might hear such phrases as:

“Don’t lick your brother’s face” and

“You can’t beat up your sister’s special doll.”

You might also find messes like this on your nine-foot ceilings,

evidence of a seven-year-old boy left too long in the bath. 🙂

Now imagine a young, often tired mama, who tends to be on the serious side.

She dislikes messes,

and rowdiness,

and chaos.

She appreciates controlled fun, if there is such a thing.

I never imagined myself to be the mama of so many boys, but I certainly am thankful for God’s wisdom in placing them in my care. By the grace of God, I’m learning to embrace

noise,

chaos,

wrestling, and even….

….fart jokes. 🙂

Imagine that tired, young mama opening her mind and heart to a world of fun and let’s pretend. Those rowdy boys and silly daughter teach her to play. They teach her to take life less seriously.

Imagine life without my children? Impossible!

Jen 🙂

What do your children teach you? Share with us in the comments.

Why is it that a request to be patient or wait creates the exact opposite effect than what parents desire to see in their children?

7 Ways to Practice Patience with Preschoolers:

1. Model patience yourself.

2. Change your speech.

3. Distract them.

4. Give young children a timeline.

5. Remind them.

6. Sing the “Have Patience” song.

7. Praise them lavishly!

Start from the very beginning.

Offer veggies first!

Slice, dice, or even puree!

Disguise those veggies.

Substitute veggies for other starches.

Add cheese, sauce, or dip.

Offer a variety.

Try, try, and try again…and then some more.

Find the Why behind the “No.”

Let the kids help!

Be an artist!

Tell a story about the food or play “let’s pretend” with it.

Make the table a fun, family-oriented place.

Every parent deals with picky eaters because every child goes through a picky eating phase.

6 Principles for Picky Eaters

1. Decide ahead of time where you’ll draw the line and stick to it!

2. Use the “Try at least one bite” rule

3. Create a test

4. Use the “take ______more bites” rule.

5. Make it fun!

6. Be patient