His words caught me totally by surprise. I looked up from what I was doing to be sure I’d heard him. My husband has never been very definitive about anything, especially pertaining to our marriage, so his matter-of-fact response caught me off guard.
My husband and I have had a rough few years. We’ve had legal, financial and marital issues, to name just a few. The trauma we’ve dealt with has been almost unbearable. My husband has had to deal with some very difficult issues, and while we’ve tried to navigate them together, ultimately they have been his demons to wrestle while I prayed.
I was frustrated at where we were in our relationship – seemingly stuck. The struggles that we faced took us on very different roads than I ever intended. Navigating them has not been easy for me.
I think I said something like, “I don’t like where we are. I want to feel like we’re moving forward. I want to feel unstuck.”
He answered that we won’t be in this position forever. I won’t always feel stuck. No, someday this will be behind us.
“You want to move forward? Then we start today. We start here. We may not know where we are going to end up, but we can start right here and move forward together.”
Friends, I have prayed for this moment. I have prayed for my husband to step into the position to want to lead our family, our marriage.
And there I stood, surprised, uncertain, not sure what to do.
What if…
What if God actually answered my prayers?
The world is so quick to speak their “truths” into our lives:
You’re not good enough.
Your prayer is too big to get answered.
Your relationship is too broken.
Your God isn’t big enough.
Even those 4 lies right there – they’re huge. We’ve all probably heard them (or a variety of them) at some point.
But what does God do?
God calls us out.
God calls us out – He makes us holy, set apart.
In Exodus 3:5, God called to Moses from the burning bush.
“Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”
And in Joshua 5:15, the commander of the Lord’s army met Joshua near Jericho.
The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.
When God is ready to use us, when He answers our prayers and prepares us for what’s ahead, He will set us apart for His purpose.
We may not see a burning bush, and we may not talk with the commander of the Lord’s army, but that doesn’t diminish God’s work in our lives! God’s power to work is as strong whether we have a Damascus road experience, or whether we’re struck by the words of our husband.
God is not finished with my marriage. He still has a plan for us. He is answering my prayers for my marriage in ways I can’t even believe.
What are you praying for today? How can we be praying with you?
We will pray, but friends, I ask you to pray, believing.
Rebekah has been completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of the Lord in her life. He has proven His faithfulness in every area of her life, especially in her marriage. She has come to understand the power of redemption and God’s work in her own marriage. Her goal is to be Sharing Redemption’s Stories – encouraging wives who are praying for redemption in their marriage.
What about a husband standing in the gap for his wife? I have been standing for two years and could sure use some prayers warriors to pray for my situation….thank you so much in advance !
Bless you, Cory, for reminding us that wives aren’t the only ones making the hard choice to stay! Praying for you today!
Jen 🙂
Cory, thank you! Thank you for doing the very hard thing – for continuing to pray, for continuing to trust. May God truly bring HIS redemption in your situation. I’ll be praying that He works in your wife’s heart, and yours, in a very special way. Adding you to my list of marriages that I’m praying for regularly. Keep trusting! Keep believing!
May the Lord be with you Rebekah. Please pray for my marriage which is hanging in strings. I’m praying for husbands hardened heart to be turned to Jesus. I’m standing and will never give up on God. I find your work encouraging and it feels I’m not alone in this battle. Thank you and May God bless you always.
Piyu, YES! The one important thing that I’ve learned through this is just how isolating marriage struggles can be. Everyone wants to put on a good face, but the reality is that it isn’t true for all of us. Stay close to God. Trust HIM first and foremost, and trust HIM to be the most important person in your life and your heart. I’m praying for you, friend!
What would i do if God answered my prayer (s)? I’d probably pass out!! I have spent so long begging & pleading with Him, I would honestly be shocked if one day He FINALLY said yes. Sadly, I feel hope slipping away as each day passes that my prayers,go unanswered. I’m sure that makes me a “weak” Christian but unfortunately it is what it is.
Cj, no matter what, we aren’t here to judge your faith, or your strength in your situation. We’re here to encourage, to support, to love and to remind you that the most important thing is to keep trusting God. When God gives us a “no” we have to trust that HIS plans for our life are for our best. While the answer may hurt, while our hearts may break, we can trust that God is still working on our behalf – that He will NOT leave us for forsake us. Not only that, but He WILL walk us through the valley of the shadow of death and that under His wings, we can find refuge (Psalm 91). Praying for you – trusting God with you.
Came across this article yet again recently. Guess God is trying to tell me something as I was laid off prior to Thanksgiving for the third time in five years. It becomes harder and harder each day to continue to talk to God confidently as my career has been in a downward spiral for the past decade and it has contributed to me changing as a man so much (not in the best of ways, either) that my marriage of 20-plus years has also been going downward to the point my wife has disconnected from me in the past five years, too. These two areas of life are the ones that I have prayed more fervently than ever in recent years with no hope in either.
My desire is to be a man after God’s heart as I pray, read the Word and read other Christian books to help me in my daily walk. After so many years of unanswered prayer, it gets very discouraging. I find myself becoming weaker and not stronger. Very frustrating. Maybe someday — when I leave this earth — God might be nice enough to explain why He didn’t answer my pleas.
I believe that God is fully capable of answering my prayers but it is the what ifs that put doubts in my mind. What if this is how it always will be and this is just to make me a better person. Or another thing I struggle with is how will we get there in order for us to be in a relationship where we are spiritually on the same page. Will it take something bad to happen? I just cling on to hope and pray it through. Thank you for your encouraging words.